It's been pretty boring in Marinerland over the past couple weeks, especially since Bavasi hasn't found any mediocre free agents to overpay or declining veterans to trade for. This was the perfect time for Jeff to take his vacation, spending four weeks gallivanting around Europe rarely, if ever, thinking about Mariner baseball while the rest of us still cautiously check sports websites throughout our day hoping that there won't be any new Mariner news.
So with the lack of any new Mariner related news or topics, there hasn't been much for those handling the reins of LoL to talk about. Which leads us to today's post. Yesterday, Positive Paul and I were passing time at our respective jobs shooting the collective breeze when Paul made up a humorous Mariners baseball slogan (listed below) and an idea struck me like JJ Putz fastball to the temple. I figured that with today being a Friday on a short work week following the holidays, it would be a good idea to have a little creative fun and allow everyone to release their frustrations from the current offseason (and even past few seasons) and create their own version of what they believe the 2007 Mariners slogan should be.
So have fun. Here are a couple thrown out there to get those creative juices following:
"Mariners baseball..."
An older woman is sitting in a rocking chair watching a Mariner game. The camera zooms in on the television, showing the bases loaded with Mariners and Adrian Beltre up to bat. The opposing pitcher makes his pitch the screen goes black, the crack of a bat is heard. Dave Niehaus' excited voice follows with:
"Get out the rye bread and the mustard, Grandma," and the television screen comes back only to show an Adrian Beltre foul out to the first baseman to end the inning. Niehaus continues:
"and invite the family over for Matlock reruns over salami sandwiches and save them the $200-300 they would've spent at the ballpark."
0 recs | 46 comments
Given the falling attendance ...
there should be a slogan about being able to get seats close to the action. Something such as:Mariners baseball. Get close to the action.
Steve Nelson - January 4, 2007
Another baseball
They could base it on the BeeGee's "Stayin' Alive":Mariners Baseball: Stickin' Around. During the commercial they could even bring up Stayin' Alive in the background with the new lyrics, and show the Dancing Groundskeepers doing a disco style routine.
Steve Nelson - January 5, 2007
Off the top of my head
Mariners baseball. We might suck, but we have Felix and you don't.Goose - January 5, 2007
off the top of my head
...Recharging karma since 2001....if you love the rooting for the underdog, we're for you.
...Making sure non-Microsoft locals can afford to retire on Lake Washington.
...well Safeco is still cool right?
...hey we're a heck of a lot better than the Sonics.
...yeah we are still trying to win.
...The best baseball in the northwest.
...Trying to see who is either ignorant or a hopeless fan.
Edgar for Pres - January 5, 2007
Only thing I can think of
Mariners' Baseball....well...we still have Bloomie....jimmimoose1 - January 5, 2007
Slogans
Forget Rohypnal, take her to the ballgame!Goodbye Baseball!
Your 2007 Mariners--the anti-amphetamine!
Seattle, Washington: where the kids are all above average and the outs are all productive.
No matter where you go, this is one year you won't miss a single Mariner playoff game--we guarantee!
Celadus - January 5, 2007
Mariners baseball...
...if you're not going to pitch, sit down and stitch, bitch!...where four singles isn't a run, it's the price of coffee.
...if you can't beat 'em, who cares?
...where people bring more "U"s to the ballpark than "K"s.
...because 5,237 Bremertonians can't be wrong.
...it's 60.6 feet to home plate, we've got a full set of bases, half an inning left, it's dark and raining, and Putz's jogging in from the bullpen. HIT IT!
Deanna - January 5, 2007
Your 2nd one
Is my favorite so far. Nice.Goose - January 5, 2007
To be fair...
I also had "Is it Stitch 'n Pitch night yet?"PositivePaul - January 5, 2007
I concur
I did forget to include this on in the one's I listed.Trent - January 5, 2007
Mariners "baseball"...
...hehAlex B - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball...
...that's all folks!...well, we tried.
...let's face it, who else are you going to support?
..missing since 2004: if found, please return to Safeco Field. Thanks.
...made bearable by Lookout Landing.
...welcome to the (career) Twilight Zone.
Alex B - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball...
What? You expected more......It's not just for insomnia anymore...
Building winning records for opposing teams since Bavasi came to town....
Sucks.
Dollar97 - January 5, 2007
A few more...
In light of the recent roster additions:"Where we really do believe that the Star Spangled Banner begins: 'Jose can you see?'..."
One more I thought of this morning:
"...At least we got rid of Pineiro"
PositivePaul - January 5, 2007
Seattle Mariners Baseball.
We may be bad on the field, but at least we're rich.pdb - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball
The team of subdued excitmentScruffy Lefty - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball
"Brought to you by the makers of Prilosec OTC""Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion! Upset stomach, Diarrhea"
"3 free psychiatrist visits with every season ticket package"
"Bavasi. At least he's not Matt Millen"
"Making you happy by keeping expectations low since 2004"
Ben in Va - January 5, 2007
For years I've said
You gotta loathe these guys.spiegs00 - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball...
Trying to Move Out of Town Since 1996.Geeves72 - January 5, 2007
Beautiful
. . . but more like '86.Paytheline - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball
"We may not have talent, but we sure have grit""Launching successful careers for our former players"
"Well.....nevermind"
"Come see the farm team for all of Major League Baseball"
"We still smell better than the Ivar's"
AZSEAfan - January 5, 2007
Mariner Baseball
Drink Until The Pain StopsGarces - January 5, 2007
Alternate:
Pain Until the Drink StopsGarces - January 5, 2007
How could we forget!
"I think you mean Thompson"PositivePaul - January 5, 2007
I had debated that one
but didn't think it actually made sense as a slogan, just the LL inside joke. I mean, I sort of expected someone to do "Mariners Baseball... whatever, M's gonna lose" too.Deanna - January 5, 2007
Mariner Baseball
Public humiliation has never cost so muchDollar97 - January 5, 2007
Shout out!
Mariner Baseball......but our blogosphere rocks!
vj - January 5, 2007
With appologies to Jagger/Richards
It's only replacement level but I like it!vj - January 5, 2007
It's like that...
Old Almost Live! Skit when Niehaus went down with a mild heart condition and they joke about the no excitement announcer or something.Surprises not included!
IcebreakerX - January 5, 2007
Old School Slogans Updated
"Anything can happen . . . but probably won't""Playin' hardball . . . but pitching softballs"
And if Skippy Nordquist is still alive:
"When it all began . . . to look the same"
G_ - January 5, 2007
Mariner Baseball
Playing washouts rather than rainouts...Dollar97 - January 5, 2007
20% More Garlic Than 2006!
Yep, M's give up selling the team, so they'll just sell what they sell at the Safe.IcebreakerX - January 5, 2007
slogans
SeattLe basebaLL: More L's than W's.Your Mariners: Batteries included! (but they're the wrong size, and dead anyway)
The 06-07 offseason: You can't make this shit up!
Safeco field: The future home of the 2012 World Champs! (though none of the current players will actually be on that team)
AnotherAaron - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball
...believing in Dinosaurs since July 26, 2006Frerken - January 5, 2007
Mariners baseball
... what will the Jumbotron show next?... welcome to the House that Manto built!
... rainout-free baseball in the Northwest!
... parking has never been easier!
... it's buntiful!
... enjoy the breeze -- not just from our bats!
... what's YOUR excuse?
Paytheline - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball...
... It's a state of mind.... 2007: Commemorating the 25th Anniversary of Gaylord Perry's 300th Game.
... Moose-tastic!
... Can't ya feel it in the air?!
... Buhner Buzz Cuts Every Night!
... Play your part. Let's beat 636,276!
... Hey!, it could be worse!
... 2007: Celebrating 18 years of Argyros Free Baseball!
--------
The Dark Ages, a reminder:
(from Baseball Library.com)
"Argyros was described by then-NL president A. Bartlett Giamatti as "the James Watt of baseball" (after Reagan's Secretary of the Interior). The deforestation of the Mariners under Argyros has included the trades of such stars as Bill Caudill, Shane Rawley, Ivan Calderon, Danny Tartabull, Phil Bradley, and Mark Langston for a few overage catchers and minor leaguers unlikely to become major league stars. When Argyros bought the Mariners in 1981, he made himself the focus of an advertising campaign called "Playing Hardball" and promised to stamp the team with his own personality. When he sold the franchise in 1989, the Mariners had yet to have their first winning season. A friend of former Commissioner Peter Ueberroth, Argyros has led the major leagues in fiscal restraint, with the lowest salaries to go with the lowest winning percentage. Having the parsimony of a Calvin Griffith without the baseball acumen, Argyros has hired executives from his real estate and airline investments rather than baseball people. His managerial genius was best demonstrated in the 1986-87 off-season when the Mariners gave all their players salary cuts (including the few who played well), and then suggested they attend seminars on positive thinking."
KC @ Lookout Landing - January 5, 2007
I know you didn't say it, but
that Langston trade ended up turning our pretty well for the M's. That Thompson - I mean that Johnson guy they got was pretty good.Jed C - January 5, 2007
Very true
I messed up and forgot the link and the date. That quote appears to be from very soon after Argyros bailed, and by an author of questionable baseball knowledge.KC @ Lookout Landing - January 5, 2007
Mariners baseball theme song
[sung to the tune of Canyonero!, with all apologies to the original writers of the episode along with you, dear reader]Can you name the team with JJ Putz,
looks like a contender and kicks you in the nuts!
M's baseball! M's baseball!
Well, Willie B makes M's fans frown,
It's the quad-A team built by a clown!
M's baseball! (yeah!) M's baseball!
[Bavasi] Hey-Hey!
[voiceover] The commissioner of baseball has ruled the Mariners unfit for American or National league play.
M's baseball!
With our off-season, your hope died,
So we'll use Putz until his arm's fried!
M's baseball! M's baseball!
We take players the Nats want to dump!
Unexplained wins are a matter for the ump!
M's baseball! M's baseball! (Yeah!)
Felix teases everyone with his one-hit games,
He's a hard-throwing, fastball-loving,
eating machine!
M's baseball! Oh! Whoa! M's baseball! (Yeah!)
Go M's baseball!
Whoa M's baseball!
Whoa!
abelard - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball
the tagline after an ad featuring Bavasi talking about the team:Mariner Baseball: Baldly going where no team has gone before.
Steve Nelson - January 5, 2007
Wait for it....
[Rimshot!]PositivePaul - January 5, 2007
A Salute to the Fans
Mariners Baseball Fans: The Few. The Proud. The Fleeced.Steve Nelson - January 5, 2007
Mariners Baseball
"Please remain calm as we experience turbulance.""We are a better team than last year."
"We got our big bat!"
"We gotta win some ballgames."
ThundaPC - January 6, 2007
And of course
"Just throw strikes, son.""All we have to do is keep the ball down."
Deanna - January 6, 2007
Two things we still don't really do that well.
Edgar for Pres - January 6, 2007
Mariners Baseball...
just a slight improvement to Trent's... 45% of the time, we play winning baseball.
MsFan - January 10, 2007
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