BIG NOTICE: Yuniesky Betancourt has been locked up through all his arbitration years, with an option for his first year of free agency.
Kendall C Ichiro CF Stewart LF Beltre 3B Bradley CF Vidro DH Piazza DH Ibanez LF Chavez 3B Sexson 1B Swisher 1B Guillen RF Crosby SS Johjima C Buck RF Betancourt SS Ellis 2B Lopez 2B ---------- ----------
Harden (0-0, -.--) Batista (0-0, -.--)
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely terrified of having to face Rich Harden tonight, but the fear is mitigated by the fact that he'll probably crack a few ribs and go on the DL after laughing at Jose Vidro's fat ass in the first. Here's hoping that Miguel Batista's next mystery is titled The Improbable Sweep. Or How Anaheim Ceased To Exist One Night And No One Noticed For A While. Either works, really.
LET'S GO MARINERS!!
0 recs | 473 comments
Batista's next book
The Origin of the Funk Blast: Whose Funk? Which Blast?Gomez - April 4, 2007
OT
But anybody still salty at Thornton for whatever reason should go check out his line from the Cleveland - Sox game. And we think Mateo is bad.Bearskin Rugburn - April 4, 2007
Thornton's legacy
will end up being his trademarked home-run-to-the-first-batter-he-faces technique.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Whoooooo!
time for a Funk Sweep!Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
Against Harden
we'll need the Rally Funky.Rollo Tomasi - April 4, 2007
You mean
a Funk Rally?Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
Oh my god
I just learned that Jimmy Carter was once attack by a giant swimming rabbit, attempting an amphibious assassination!oompagooba - April 4, 2007
Uh, yeah man
that's what the bunny in Monty Python's Holy Grail was all about.Bearskin Rugburn - April 4, 2007
When Richie hits
grandslams, will they be called Funk Slams?Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
Grand Funk Railroad Slams
Slozbury Stouvre - April 4, 2007
Hmm.
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
Know how, at parties
someone says or does something that just leads to a sudden, complete silence from everyone within earshot?Yeah.
Gomez - April 4, 2007
Heh.
Thought you'd enjoy that, 'mez...PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
Presenting the first Mariner Magic Card of 2007!
Thanks to AZSEAfan for the inspiration.
Goose - April 4, 2007
SWEET
Gomez - April 4, 2007
Epic season of LL graphics so far.
And it hasn't even been three days.For the record, I had to edit a little of Devin's IM to make it front page appropriate. The full quote:
(23:48:27) Devin: Fuck Julio Mateo. Fuck him up his stupid ass.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
LLers are a creative, motivated bunch
even when the team isn't.Gomez - April 4, 2007
Good thinking
That "stupid ass" part might have lost you this blog.BaltimoreMarinersFan - April 4, 2007
Hey
my mind made me think it was going to be much worst.Edgar for Pres - April 4, 2007
And with that
The 2007 Mariner season is officially underway.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Thanks Goose
sniff....sniff....it's beautiful.AZSEAfan - April 4, 2007
Fun fact
Richie's 2nd funk blast of the season puts him at 275 career HRs, tying him on the all-time list with some dude named Roger Maris, none of whose homers would qualify as funk blasts.Gomez - April 4, 2007
Yet a lot of people
believe should be in the Hall of Fame.Phil Hatzenbuehler - April 4, 2007
Mostly Yankee fans I imagine
Maris was a good player, no doubt about it. But he's not a hall of famer.I wouldn't even call him a great player. Just a good one.Goose - April 4, 2007
By that logic
Denny McLain's long overdue for his induction.Gomez - April 4, 2007
Don't you mean his indictment?
oh wait, that already happened.basebliman - April 4, 2007
He can be the first guy
inducted from prison.Gomez - April 4, 2007
Don't ask me why
But I thought that number would be higher. I keep forgetting he missed most of a year with his shoulder problem.Thingray - April 4, 2007
on the other hand
61* was an incredibly well-done movie, all things considered.Deanna - April 4, 2007
I just saw it for the first time about a month ago
Considering it was a "made for TV" movie (if HBO can be considered TV) it was quite good.Phil Hatzenbuehler - April 4, 2007
I'd agree
Except I thought it might be a Joey-safe movie. Wouldn't really call it that.PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
HAHAHA
Yeah, they DID give Mickey Mantle one hell of a foul mouth in that movie.The dude who played Roger Maris is a dead ringer for him though. I seriously thought they did a LOT of great stuff overall. You can tell that Billy Crystal really loves the Yankees and wanted to do as much of this movie right as possible. If you get the DVD, watch "the making of" sequence, because it's well worth it. Lots of cool little details.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
It's a damn good movie.
It's so easy to mistake the dude who plays Maris for Maris, it's not even funny. Billy did a crazy good job with that flick.You definitely top my knowledge, but I'm still hugely into baseball history. This is one of those must-watches for folks like us who are into that sort of stuff.
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
Can't wait to see Harden tonight
He could put on a really wonderful pitching clinic for his five innings of work!ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
I love Rich Harden.
I used to think Jarrod Washburn had the bluest eyes in the AL, but no, Harden has him beat by a mile. And a better smile, too. And he's a nicer guy and a better pitcher and hmm, maybe I'm on the wrong blog to be talking like this.Deanna - April 4, 2007
Trader
InSpokane - April 4, 2007
that is
TraitorInSpokane - April 4, 2007
I got a man-crush on him
when I watched him throw in the bullpen before a game at Safeco. He throws GAS.Manzanillos Cup - April 4, 2007
Yeah, see
Man-crushes happen when a pitcher completely and utterly dominates their opposition and turns them into a bunch of whimpering idiots.Girl-crushes happen when a cute pitcher smiles at us. Of course, it doesn't hurt if they ALSO completely and utterly dominate their opposition...
Deanna - April 4, 2007
I don't like this matchup
Of course, that could be said of any of our pitching matchups not involving Felix.Thingray - April 4, 2007
Harden owns us
Splits vs. M's: http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7180/splits;_ylt=Atxw8ML7LTmnuWIhABcG1jKFCLcF?year=career&ty pe=PitchingVs. M's: 42.1 IP, 47 K, 1.49 ERA, 0.94 WHIP, .176 BA
@SAFECO: 35.0 IP, 39 K, 1.03 ERA, 0.86 WHIP, .150 BA
JConnell - April 4, 2007
what
were blaton's number vs. us.InSpokane - April 4, 2007
Something I caught while reading throw the USSM
game thread last night that I'm surprised wasn't brung up here.The Angels are cheating
Speaking of which, they just swept the Rangers. So we gotta keep up.
Goose - April 4, 2007
The Angels are cheating
Water is wet.I was surprised when I read that, and, at the same time... not. Figures.
Gomez - April 4, 2007
Of course they're cheating.
Nothing about Anaheim is clean or honorable.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Not even their official name
The (neighboring large market city) Angels of (actual city they play in)Gomez - April 4, 2007
Also, I won't be around tonight
I was able to skip Monday's class and Tuesday I had no class as my prof was out of town, but I'm out of luck today, plus there's a test tonight to boot. It's an involved class too, so I can't just camp in the back with my laptop and multitask. So I won't be able to watch or track the game.Perhaps I'll get back towards the tail end of the game, but if not, I hope for THE SWEEP.
Gomez - April 4, 2007
Things Learned...
...from watching baseball so far this season.stoatboy - April 4, 2007
Let me fix that
- The Angels are dirty cheaters.
- The Rangers are bad.
There.Gomez - April 4, 2007
Let me emend that slightly
stoatboy - April 4, 2007
By the way.,,
How good is Miguel Cabrera? I love my keeper league.Have to fall asleep with XM on in my ear again. 10:05pm starts and hufuckingmid summers are the worst parts of living on the east coast.
BaltimoreMarinersFan - April 4, 2007
Miguel Cabrera is the man.
But, remember, he is facing the Nationals...Phil Hatzenbuehler - April 4, 2007
Very true
The Nationals are horrible. They could be historically bad.BaltimoreMarinersFan - April 4, 2007
I love teams like the Nationals
They make predictions so much easier.Good teams could always suffer some injuries and do poorly, but you know the Nationals aren't going to win 60 games.
Llewdor - April 4, 2007
They won
today with a three run rally in the 9th!dz - April 4, 2007
easiest predictatron lock ever
now the AL, wow that was tough.Matthew - April 4, 2007
Who will win the Central?
dz - April 4, 2007
im lazy and don't want to write it out again
so, in lieu:Ironclad predictions
Though I've since swapped my 1-2 in the NL Central
Matthew - April 4, 2007
I hope we get alot of
FUNK BLASTS!yeah there are a ridiculous amount of these already this season
PShwa - April 4, 2007
These keep getting better and better.
Nice job on the shirt. I love little details like that.Goose - April 4, 2007
Wow
That is FINE.tworsandtwols - April 4, 2007
Play that funky music, white boy!
Deanna - April 4, 2007
On the official site's 40 man roster
It now shows Adam Jones's number as 24. Can anyone explain that?Corco - April 4, 2007
Most inappropriate name ever
http://cincinnati.reds.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=459403Mariner John - April 4, 2007
News bulletin
Extra Innings will be available on cable!!cynthia2003 - April 4, 2007
Thank God
Now everyone can go get DirectTV again, despite what I said yesterday.Corco - April 4, 2007
Whoever did the lineups is my hero.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
I'm not at Safeco tonight,
so I figured I might as well be useful :)Deanna - April 4, 2007
MLB.tv pregame guy
He's making me uncomfortable with his eyes.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Rotoworld has caught up on DMZ's snippet of
K-Rod cheating.This could get interesting.
Goose - April 4, 2007
My favorite
are the resulting comments in his blogCorco - April 4, 2007
LOL douchebags
In light of the people who say K-Rod touches his cap all the time, that he has great career numbers so clearly he can't be cheating, I have an interesting question I'd like to bring up: what if K-Rod's been cheating his entire career, and no one had the subtle observational skills necessary to catch him in the act... until DMZ researched and wrote a book about cheating?Gomez - April 5, 2007
Thank God the game is about to start
I was killing time by trying to watch Hannity and Colmes. Ugh.It's over, but I'm much happier to be watching the M's.
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Dave Sims is really wearing this.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
ouch
MFAN - April 4, 2007
Actually, wait
I think that's Seal.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
He's worn that hat
every game.bluemax - April 4, 2007
MLB.tv hasn't shown it.
Hopefully it's just a superstition thing, because, dude.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
woo hoo, time for 3-0!
MFAN - April 4, 2007
Dave Niehaus
capable of feeling a difference of "about one degree".Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Mike Hargrove's beard
rivals Todd Helton's in terms of ridiculousness.anky - April 4, 2007
FUCK MLB.TV
NO GRAPHICS .. WTF I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE W THISphil333 - April 4, 2007
One down.
GET OUT THOSE BROOMS!!Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
2 DOWN
world series here we come!!MFAN - April 4, 2007
3 DOWN
FIRST MARINER DYNASTY!Goose - April 4, 2007
That was the worst bunt in the history of bunts.
I like Miguel Batista.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
quick inning
me likeyMatthew - April 4, 2007
Bunt?
He's bunting?ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Nice bunt, Milton
Thanks for the free out.anky - April 4, 2007
First inning done!
Feel the power of the Empire!Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
How is it that
I'm in TACOMA and I can't get KOMO 1000?Talk about a bad AM station.
Corco - April 4, 2007
I royally hate when MLBtv doesnt show me the score
or other things like that.I need to see the count, how many outs, and the score or else i get confused at times.
PShwa - April 4, 2007
no more blips!
Thank Jebus.BrianV - April 4, 2007
Anyone have any details
on Yuni's extension?Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Why Felix > Harden:
Groundballs.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
and the uniform
Matthew - April 4, 2007
8 pitches
2-0, but still the same old offenseKatal LM - April 4, 2007
8 pitch inning
Vidro groundout. I sense a shutout.anky - April 4, 2007
God Vidro sucks
so much.Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
Vidro does not deserve to wear such a great number
phil333 - April 4, 2007
I hate you Vidro
MFAN - April 4, 2007
I'm beginning to really hate Jose Vidro.
Like, more than before. Eat a tainted salad and get food poisoning, fatass.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Crap
Goose - April 4, 2007
Er
Does not computeJeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Batista getting hammered
Honeymoon over.anky - April 4, 2007
I can't wait until the end of the '09 season
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
I know you're afraid of it
but it's called "working out" Vidro.Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
I hate you too Batista
MFAN - April 4, 2007
wheeeee
I just turned on the TV in time to see Harden shut down the Mariners on 8 pitches.On the other hand, Batista...
oh yeah, cool on Betancourt's extension. The Mariners email went out between when I left work and got home.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
if batista leaves this inning unscathed, I will
not jack off for 24 hours. i promiseWolf - April 4, 2007
TMI
phil333 - April 4, 2007
Go to it, friend.
Garces - April 4, 2007
what does tmi mean?
Wolf - April 4, 2007
Too Much Information
Goose - April 4, 2007
Wow, that was uhhh.....
Goose - April 4, 2007
Uh.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
oh fuck
Goose - April 4, 2007
Pathetic
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
...pardon?
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A balk? A BALK?Wow... that's pretty weird.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
Balk?
shitanky - April 4, 2007
Balk?
Uh-oh....fun while it lasted.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Batista you're
an idiot.Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
haha
"Geren looking for his first win as a Mariner... er... a manager..."Deanna - April 4, 2007
Given Batista's repertoire
it's always been weird that he doesn't strike out more hitters. Swisher only whiffed because the split ends got in his eye.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Bautista sucks
can we get Soriano back now?bluemax - April 4, 2007
Pfft, he's just setting up the DP.
Goose - April 4, 2007
Bastita...really...sucks
David Piper - April 4, 2007
I didn't like Batista in spring training
I like him less now.Happybelly - April 4, 2007
Beaning Crosby
Consider this your official thanks for everything you've done for us.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
wtf just happened?
gameday's buggin out on meBearskin Rugburn - April 4, 2007
Ouch
Good thing Crosby got out of the way, that one would have hurt if it had really hit him hard.Travis Buck, heh, he has Eric Byrnes hair :)
Deanna - April 4, 2007
at least i get to masturbate...
Wolf - April 4, 2007
You've just ruined this thread.
Goose - April 4, 2007
That's a balk
We can all advance.Garces - April 4, 2007
What I can do to get some redemption?
Wolf - April 4, 2007
I think I just became impotent.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
As much a fan as I am
of masturbation, I don't want to hear other people talking about it. It's just not a conversation piece.Corco - April 4, 2007
sarcasm and tone
do not come off well on the internet, I realize post-postCorco - April 4, 2007
we get Batista for three years..
thank you Bill Bavasi. Here is your pink slip.David Piper - April 4, 2007
Well, I like...
Jose Guillen, at least.Garces - April 4, 2007
How about some strikes Batista?
Goose - April 4, 2007
Uh, Dave
This lineup doesn't have "tough outs".I like how the boo-birds are already out in full force.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
I was thinking the same thing
Not even sure who I'd consider the toughest out in the A's lineup currently.Deanna - April 4, 2007
Fuck
David Piper - April 4, 2007
On the bright side
We'll get to see Sean White's debut today, probably.Corco - April 4, 2007
The cycle!
Balk, hit batter, walk, and a hit.Well done, Miguel!
Garces - April 4, 2007
I think I'll put that broom back in the closet.
Goose - April 4, 2007
POWERED BY SOCKS
Deanna - April 4, 2007
Good job, Batista.
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Ibanez is too slow.
but it's Batista's fault.Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
Well, shit
You suck Batista.anky - April 4, 2007
Okay
There goes 1st place. Wave goodbye to it folks, we won't see it again for 3 years.phil333 - April 4, 2007
Oh man
I'd forgotten what this feels like.The sad part of my brain is telling the rest of me "welcome back".
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Admit it
We ALL saw this coming.Garces - April 4, 2007
ballgame
you suck Batista, and the middle infield of doom kills us againMFAN - April 4, 2007
Well hey, the last few days were fun right guys?
Goose - April 4, 2007
God damnit, someone comfort me :(
Wolf - April 4, 2007
Well,
There's always Option J.abelard - April 4, 2007
Warm up Felix!
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Well
Mediocrity can't win 162 games.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
We've now seen Batista and Vidro...
and I just cannot wait for Ramirez and Weaver.The Island of Misfit Toys?
David Piper - April 4, 2007
And to think...
I just forked out my cash for MLB tv before tonights game....yeah.anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
I'm really only watching this game
because I love Rich Harden.I knew better than to watch it cheering for the M's.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
According to BABIP theory
this should stop any second now.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
How much is this ass clown getting paid?
anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
if its a dolllar,
its too much. Come on, I can fucking throw a strike every once in a while.David Piper - April 4, 2007
Shut the fucking train up.
Goose - April 4, 2007
If Miguel Batista's so smart
why doesn't he throw better pitches?Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Because
he hates you.PLU Tim - April 4, 2007
Mound conference
Chaves: Uh...dude, what are you doing? Don't you realize how much you're getting paid.Joh: Don't be a Pineiro-head.
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
This feels like last year
I want Felix day again...anky - April 4, 2007
You know
in blowouts like this, Hargrove should bring in Mateo and move Vidro to center field so he can get some fucking exercise.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Haha
I laughed my ass off when I read thisLantermanC - April 4, 2007
I laughed my ass off when I read this
Gomez - April 4, 2007
Just wait till we get to Weaver.
Because he's gonna be worse.Goose - April 4, 2007
what?
C'mon, he was GREAT with Anaheim last year.David Piper - April 4, 2007
That might almost be fun
In a very twisted sort of way.anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
Oh look?
Two outs!ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
The ump feels sorry for him.
That was ball 3.Goose - April 4, 2007
Crikey
Warm up Mateo!Er. Wait.
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
FSN Tracer
Damn thing is the most inaccurate pitch chart that I've ever seen.PLU Tim - April 4, 2007
Reverse Rally Dino
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Time to go back to Command and Conquer
and put the mute button on.Goose - April 4, 2007
ditto
with desktop tower defense.Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Neihaus
"and the inning mercifully comes to an end."ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
RALLY TIME!
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Sexson due up.
We all know what it's time for.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
I'm trying to explain Funk Blast
to my housemate.It would really help if Richie could oblige me with a home run, but I somehow doubt it's going to happen.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
I've been explaining it to people all day.
I can't stop. It's too hilariously addicting.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Against Rich Harden?
I'm betting against a funk blast. This is the guy that Sexson claims to throw a "ghost pitch".PLU Tim - April 4, 2007
Ghost pitch?
Sexson: Oh my God! It just disappeared. It's a ghost pitch![strikes out]
(to Ibanez) There are ghost-cars all over this league, you know.
Ibanez: [timid] Hold me.
Sexson: [conciliatory] Only if you hold me.
[wolves howl]
abelard - April 4, 2007
on the bright side
its only the second inning. im gonna mute it walk away for a while and hope i come back to good things.phil333 - April 4, 2007
So can someone answer my mlb.tv question
About the graphic overlaysphil333 - April 4, 2007
I wanna know
whats going on with that, too.its really frustrating.
PShwa - April 4, 2007
You know
What's funny is, they pronounce "Uwajimaya" about as poorly as they pronounce Japanese player names in general.Except I'd expect them to do better with that one.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
Dude
I think that train might be in trouble.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
so anyone else has a man-crush on jeff?
in a non-gay sort of way? don't tell me that I'm the only one...Wolf - April 4, 2007
Lots of people do.
I'm a desirable guy.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
:high five:
Wolf - April 4, 2007
He was talking about me
obviously.anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
It's a sexy name.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Damn skippy.
anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
I have a man-crush on Jeff.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
hey, the Wii sign is cool
the one behind home plate, it just says "wii" in katakana. that's pretty cute.SAFECO IS EMPTY OMG
haha, no funk blast. Richie looks disbelieving.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
Way to get Harden's pitch count up..
how many pitches has the guy thrown?David Piper - April 4, 2007
sweet sixteen
Deanna - April 4, 2007
seriously?
I'm gonaa switch over to the Blazers game for a bit, perhaps until Batista is mercifully out of the game.David Piper - April 4, 2007
GODDAMNIT MARINERS
I want to watch Rich Harden pitch, and if you only take 5 seconds per inning to go down with a whimper, I have to watch Batista instead, and that makes me sort of unhappy.Deanna - April 4, 2007
We have something in common.
Uh oh, Clyde's back. And better than ever!Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Big Richie....
Takes us to Funk-k-town...sorry.
anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
I think we all know we are gonna be shutout
MFAN - April 4, 2007
I think we need to discard some rally cards...
...to activate "Funk Blast!"ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
huh, I like that trivia question
though I am betting the answer is "False"there had to be some other 42-year-old pitcher. Perry?
Deanna - April 4, 2007
Perry's my only guess
And Felix is still 20, too.Katal LM - April 4, 2007
he'll be 21 in like 4 days
hence I figured they were going for almost-42.(huh, wait, what day did they say Felix is starting? I think that'll ACTUALLY be his birthday...)
Deanna - April 4, 2007
Yeah, he's starting on his 21st.
Good thing he's not starting the day after.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
HA I WIN
I even said "I bet it was Perry in 1983", and my housemate looked at me funny.Now he's looking at me even more funny.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
::shrug::
I've come to the conclusion that if Batista is going to get shelled, it might as well be while dueling Harden.Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Jeff Weaver vs. Indians lineup
: General Custer vs. Indians lineup.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Bonds homers against San Diego?
That's the craziest news I've heard since Switzerland didn't declare war on someone this morning.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
huh
I guess that was revenge for that roller of Ichiro's the other day.Deanna - April 4, 2007
Funk play!
Whoooooooooooooo!Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
you know
Looking at Swisher's locks, and thinking about the beard Haren sported, I'm caught thinking that the A's must be a much cooler club than the M's.Katal LM - April 4, 2007
err
not Swisher.It's early in the year. =/
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
eh?
They only promoted Travis Buck to be the Hair Apparent.no, um, Swisher's growing his hair long to donate it to Locks of Love or one of those other charities that makes wigs for kids with cancer.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
that punk
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Little-known fact:
Mike Blowers is part of an ongoing experiment of cadaver reanimation.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
I like good Batista.
We won't see him much, will we?anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
As much as we'll see Good Vidr-
I'll stop.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
C'mon
you don't want to talk about good Weaver?David Piper - April 4, 2007
I predict that the mariners will score
this upcoming inning. If they don't then I will stop talking about jacking off.Wolf - April 4, 2007
fuckers!
Wolf - April 4, 2007
Batista'd
MFAN - April 4, 2007
Remember in May of '03
When the Mariners signed some awful reliever - I think his name was Cabrera -, he cost us a few wins, and we released him? And how we went on to miss out on the playoffs by only a handful of games?I miss it when those were the types of things that bothered me about the team. Not our refusal to take pitches.
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Giovanni Carrara?
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Our Win Expectancy
is rapidly approaching the lower threshold of statistical significance.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Whatever the Win Expectancy is
it's too high.Happybelly - April 4, 2007
hmmm
Rich Harden takes like 25 pitches to get through 3 innings.Miguel Batista takes 25 pitches to get through 3 batters.
Deanna - April 4, 2007
THAT'S RIGHT JOSE
swing at the first pitch!Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Harden's going to throw a complete game...
can't you... SEEKatal LM - April 4, 2007
Not to imply anything
but it's been a while since baseball's seen a perfect game.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
actually
PERFECT GAMEPERFECT GAME
RICH HARDEN IS THROWING A PERFECT GAME
there. That ought to do it.
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Sims already said it.
Atta boy.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
no way
I said it during the break.Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Sims>Rizzs+Blowers+Hendu+Valle+Fairly
Corco - April 4, 2007
Heh I was at the game
And at the exact same time, I was saying the exact same thing.Robert - April 4, 2007
Harden's a chump.
I hate chumpsCoach Owens - April 4, 2007
what did he do??
besides make a living on killing the M'sMFAN - April 4, 2007
Dave Sims just called him
whore-dinMatthew - April 4, 2007
whatever
we're still in 2nd.Although that may change with Rameiez and Weaver against cleveland
MFAN - April 4, 2007
RICH HARDEN IS GOING TO THROW A PERFECT GAME
there, I said it.Corco - April 4, 2007
and I was beat to it.
Corco - April 4, 2007
by the mighty Katal!
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
"This is a good hitting ballclub."
I like Sims, but he's not particularly insightful, or correct.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
but his enthuisasm on that last base hit
was incredible.Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Chip Carey
Now there's an announcer I've always liked.I remember seeing him in Chicago in '01. He had a hilarious button-up Cubs shirt on. It had their logo and words like "Cubs", "Wrigley Field", and "Chicago" plastered all over it.
Ever since then I've appreciated him.
What does this have to do with Batista's effort? Nothing.
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
as long as I don't have to listen to Joe Buck
I'm generally happy. I hate FOX.David Piper - April 4, 2007
Miguel Batista
Ready successor to Gil Meche's "good stuff, big inning" archetype. He's just old enough that people won't get fooled.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
heh
GO FOR THE FEET! GO FOR THE FEET!Deanna - April 4, 2007
BATISTA...
its the new AYALADavid Piper - April 4, 2007
Guillen throws like a girl
I'm surprised he can even get the ball to Lopez.Deanna - April 4, 2007
Tommy John Surgery
Zonis - April 4, 2007
I know, but still
It's making me think I could do a better job in right field.Deanna - April 4, 2007
...gross.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Lame
anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
Also
you'd think Sims has never seen a comebacker before. We need to desensitize this guy with a little Bryce Florie replay action.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
BALK LOLZ!
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
does this make anyone long for Mateo?
basebliman - April 4, 2007
another balk?
My god, I think that's more balks than I saw all last season.Deanna - April 4, 2007
just keep balking
and set a recordMFAN - April 4, 2007
All-time record for balks in a game:
Bob Shaw, 5.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
I have never seen two balks in a game....
Justin Ducsherer is impressedDavid Piper - April 4, 2007
Also Grover needs to shave
phil333 - April 4, 2007
well...uhhh...
he's striking out a lot of people at leastMatthew - April 4, 2007
The Mariners
have always had players whose stats have confounded me.As a kid, I never understood how Felix Fermin had a batting average over .200.
Or more lately, how Mateo's ERA isn't annually above 9. It's easy to forget that sometimes he manages not to give up any runs.
I think Batista is going to become another case. I know he's going to end the season with an ERA around 4.5, but right now I'm really wondering how.
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Ichiro
It's good!ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
The Mariners should thank us
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Haha.
Take that you incredibly talented hoser.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
HAHAHAHAHA
Deanna - April 4, 2007
Yeah
And go eat a back bacon sandwich now!PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
okay, I guess I can leave
I was worried if I went away, Harden would pitch a perfect game and I'd be sad I missed it.Deanna - April 4, 2007
No Perfecto!
Yay. Victory.I think.
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
How the hell
Did Ichiro hit that?JLC - April 4, 2007
wild prediction
Vidro will get a hit this inning.Katal LM - April 4, 2007
WTF Beltre?!
over your headbasebliman - April 4, 2007
we need a rare 10 run Funk Blast
Matthew - April 4, 2007
Rare?
Richie's always trying.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
I like when Adrian Beltre hits well.
He should try it.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
but they are cracking down on roids now...
so I don't know that we'll be seeing a whole lot of that.David Piper - April 4, 2007
9 balls.
Holy balls.JLC - April 4, 2007
perfect time for a Vidro single now
basebliman - April 4, 2007
Beltre
took away Vidro's DPKatal LM - April 4, 2007
Damn you Beltre!
Should've saved that for Vidro...PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
Crosby turns routine play.
The Mariners didn't plan on this unforeseen turn of events.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
well we got a hit
MFAN - April 4, 2007
A gift from God
Corco - April 4, 2007
A walk?
THE TABLES ARE TURNING!Garces - April 4, 2007
Harden walks Vidro.
Vidro breathes a sigh of relief.Vidro's Legs: Aw man do we have to do the fast thing again?
Vidro's Face: Not this time, buddies.
Vidro's Legs: Hooray!
Vidro's Legs: :sickly cough:
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
I still hate you Vidro
as he gotten to 1st yet?MFAN - April 4, 2007
Three innings later...
Uh, Vidro, c'mon. You've been lapped 40 times by Ichiro.PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
They're making him work.
Nice.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Schmidt is dominating Milwaukee
And we got Batista.Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Go RAUL!
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
funk blast?
basebliman - April 4, 2007
Come on, Richie.
Let's funk our way into a ballgame.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Quick, discard the rally cards!!!
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
As if Richie has a chance vs Harden
Fett42 - April 4, 2007
Not tonight
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
For an 0- 2 pitch
that sure was pretty awful.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
And so it goes....
anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
Isn't Harden due to fall down and break something
David Piper - April 4, 2007
that wasn't funk
MFAN - April 4, 2007
Mother funker...
Fett42 - April 4, 2007
more like
Miguel Balkista!ahhahahahahaha
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
If I were just a little drunk
that would've been gold.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
so why the FUCK is Batista still in?
this ain't spring training for god's sake!basebliman - April 4, 2007
It's gotten to the point
That I'm hoping the A's score more runs.I want the Mariners to win, but... you know.
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Seriously.
This is where Mateo becomes useful. Why the heck did Hargrove burn him yesterday?Sean White, warming up. Well, we do need a grounder...
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
speaking of grounders...
I thought Miguel was a groundball pitcher?Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Sean White warming up in blowout.
Look how much the team respects you, Sean!Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Walk it off, hippy.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Here comes the 8-0 defecit.
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Of course.
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
WOO HOO!!!
go A's!! FUCKER HARGROVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!basebliman - April 4, 2007
BOO Batista!
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Middle Infield Of Death wakes from its slumber
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Wow, I take a break in time to see 2 more score.
Good job Batista.Goose - April 4, 2007
Everyone turn it off
Don't hurt yourself anymore.phil333 - April 4, 2007
A's hit it between fielders?
A's steal a base?
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
Thats right
boo his ass.anotherjeff - April 4, 2007
Booooooooooooovasi!
Garces - April 4, 2007
Batista is teh suck
Is there any reason for him to stay in the game this long?bumkus - April 4, 2007
Because
pain inspires Miguel to write better poetry?abelard - April 4, 2007
But does he Haiku?
Miguel BatistaIs my name and I really
Do suck at pitching
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
Sweep
Technically still possible.JLC - April 4, 2007
Batista....
three more years of this, gentlemen.Fuck you Bavasi.
David Piper - April 4, 2007
expect to see the starters out after the 6th
basebliman - April 4, 2007
But, but, but
He's a veteran....ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
For those of you watching on tv
The "Quit Now" commercial with the smoking turkey is hilarious.Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Batista's next mystery:
The Disappearing Twenty-Four Million DollarsJeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Subtitled
A Place Where Real Facts and Evidences Face a DFA notice.abelard - April 4, 2007
Can Bloomquist pitch?
hey, lets save the bullpen.David Piper - April 4, 2007
And remember folks
Batista was signed because he can get deep into ballgames.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
He also is versatile
He's a proven closer.abelard - April 4, 2007
Whiteout
I like the new guy already.bumkus - April 4, 2007
Atta boy, White.
If it isn't your ego that gets bruised in your debut, it's your ankle.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Half of me wants to order Batista's book from
amazon.But there's no way he deserves my money.
Katal LM - April 4, 2007
I'm going back to playing
Guitar HeroScruffy Lefty - April 4, 2007
Well, if we're gonna lose
This is the way to do it.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
New Chapter in Batista's Poetry Book
My pitching debutOn Wednesday at Safeco Field
Really, Really sucked.
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
HEY HEY RICH
THE MAPLE LEAFS ARE GONNA MISS THE PLAYOFFSRICH
HEY RICH LOOK AT ME
LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU
HEY, HEY YOU, RICH
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Jose Guillen
No amount of pent up frustration and anger can help him hit Harden's stuff.JLC - April 4, 2007
I'm headed to the Rangers game next week
They don't allow laptops in Safeco, do they?Katal LM - April 4, 2007
Okay
Safeco needs to work the roof so they can close it mid-fly ball.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Harden looks like the King
In control. Doesn't hurt that our guys look like they are on a different planet.bumkus - April 4, 2007
Okay, well, the important thing
is that both Felix and Harden are better than that suckass Weaver.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
If you're going to bean someone
bean Bradley and make this thing interesting.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Ray Fosse (A's Announcer)
Still mad at Johjima for not blocking balls correctly.Zonis - April 4, 2007
Funk Play!!!!!!
Whooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
too bad that play was wasted in this game
basebliman - April 4, 2007
Mike Piazza's footspeed
plotted on the negative x axis.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
who wins the race between him and Vidro?
basebliman - April 4, 2007
The guy watching.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
I'd say Piazza
he seems to have more stamina.Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
That's what he said.
abelard - April 4, 2007
Actually with Piazza that would be
"Thats what HE said"I'm sorry
Robert - April 4, 2007
If there's a buffet at the finish line
It's definitely Vidro.JLC - April 4, 2007
Beltre!!!
That's the only thing I saw the Mariners do tonight that didn't want me to deny my allegiance to the team.JLC - April 4, 2007
who's slower
piazza or vidro?kzuudj - April 4, 2007
damn slow typing
kzuudj - April 4, 2007
Okay
so how is this guy any different than Sean Green again?Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
his last name is white
Scruffy Lefty - April 4, 2007
I don't mind the loss really since
A) This game wasn't very winnable to begin with.B) We get to see what Batista looks like when he sucks.
C) We get to try out the bullpen.
D) We get to (possibly) try out the bench.
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Yeah
No one was going to touch Harden tonight. Not a chance.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Brandon Morrow's debut = Sean White always
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Hey, White
That breaking pitch would rock if you'd just throw for a strike instead of in the dirt.JLC - April 4, 2007
A's Infield Defense Returns!
ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Okay,
here's our chance. GO ICHIRO!!Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
MARCO!
SCUTARO!JLC - April 4, 2007
Middle Infield Of Death
doesn't carry over to defense.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
hey we're just 3, 3-run HR's away from tying it!
basebliman - April 4, 2007
3 what?
I think you mean 'Funk Blasts'.JLC - April 4, 2007
Woooooooooo!
2 on, no outs!Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
WE approaching statistical significance!
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Beltre
Please do something at the plate that's as awesome as what you just did in the field.JLC - April 4, 2007
Oh god.....
Vidro's up next...Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
double play time!!
basebliman - April 4, 2007
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
so predictable!
basebliman - April 4, 2007
Screw you Vidro.
Happybelly - April 4, 2007
Swinging through fastballs.
Bad Beltre is one of the lesser talked-about signs of spring.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Say hello to Vidro
The new Double-Play machine.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
I give up.
JLC - April 4, 2007
Nice job Vidro.
You really deserve the MVP.Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
Why
is Vidro hitting third again?abelard - April 4, 2007
so he can shatter the all-time DP record!
DUH!basebliman - April 4, 2007
Because Chris Snelling is a terrible hitter
and we fleeced that dumb Jim Bowden when we got this hitting machine, Jose Vidro!- Bavasi
Zonis - April 4, 2007
honestly
can we trade vidro for a shiny new baseball?i really wanna kill him.
PShwa - April 4, 2007
The sad part is
We probably won't see him move out of the 3-hole until June.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
If there's one upside to all this
Jose Vidro might get hungry someday and eat his own limbs.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Hey!
It's not nice to call a girl fat.Corco - April 4, 2007
It's not nice for a girl to ground into DP's.
Fat whore.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Touche!
thejew4u - April 4, 2007
At least then
he'd take a few walks and he'd never GIDP.abelard - April 4, 2007
Dudley would still trot him out there every day.
Happybelly - April 4, 2007
Vidro
is not a good baseball player.Corco - April 4, 2007
What can you expect
from someone who's favorite snack is hotdogs?Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
That's it, I'm making my own excitement.
SIT THE FUCK DOWN ROOKIE, WHITE'S GOT YOUR NUMBER TONIGHT JUST LIKE HE GOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S YESTERDAY OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SNAPJeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Woah,
calm down Jeff.Coach Owens - April 4, 2007
WTF about White's mugshot
He used to have a Seattle hat. It's like the hat-editor jumped the gun and assumed we'd return him.Corco - April 4, 2007
I know what will cheer you up...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=areyUfCNFxYeponymous coward - April 4, 2007
It's hypnotizing.
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
From the looks of things,
We need Sean White to be the out-of-nowhere pitcher of the year, at least as good as Zach Miner last year, preferably Randy Johnson.Corco - April 4, 2007
Raul with another hit!
....hey now!ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Get ALL of it
Corco - April 4, 2007
Broussard != funkalicious
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
You know what
if we take 2 games every series (except the post season), I'm a happy camper.Corco - April 4, 2007
This could be
the most fun Cy Young race that no one notices.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Dear Mariners lineup,
The strike zone is not that high.JLC - April 4, 2007
Dear world:
Jeff Weaver is.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
lol jeff
you sure you're not a little drunk? maybe i am, you're on fire tonightthejew4u - April 4, 2007
Can't drink on gamedays.
That's what tomorrow's for.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Bloomquist in
The day is ours.JLC - April 4, 2007
Willie Ballgame sighting!
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Ball finds the new guy.
I'm so freaking glad that Sims didn't remind me of that.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Fosse still complaining about Johjima
Zonis - April 4, 2007
Fosse has bigger things to worry about.
For example, the guy hitting right now.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Well, way I see it..
Funk Blast Math:+
+
+
=
M's Win!!!
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
Let's look at the big picture here:
Is this the week that Sanjaya finally gets kicked off of American Idol?JLC - April 4, 2007
Not in the bottom three
So, nope.I'd bet on Haley.
PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
Please not Haley
I need eye candy for the promos Fox runs every 5 seconds or it becomes difficult to watch 24 :(thejew4u - April 4, 2007
Gina.
She gone!PositivePaul - April 4, 2007
Sadly, no
He's in the middle 3. The bald guy and the 2 white chicks are bottom 3.thejew4u - April 4, 2007
my bad
meant to hit reply above. Plz don't flame me!thejew4u - April 4, 2007
Sanjaya Malakar = Julio Mateo
JLC - April 4, 2007
Pirates sweep Astros.
Breakfast burrito eats Vidro.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
That's one gigantic breakfast burrito...
But also a strangely ironic twist of fatethejew4u - April 4, 2007
I suppose it could be worse.
And Yahoo! thinks it is:Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Yesterday
Yahoo said that Nick Swisher hit a homerun in every at bat, and knocked in all the A's and Mariners runs all by himself.Zonis - April 4, 2007
That explains his lackluster day.
He's exhausted from all that offense and making whoopie.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
rofl
Apparently Scutaro walks A LOT. Err, balks.thejew4u - April 4, 2007
Still the 4th inning
We have a chance to tie this thing up.JLC - April 4, 2007
I know I am failing my math class
but I could have sworn that 10+2=/=15Zonis - April 4, 2007
It's Beane's new Moneyball approach.
Can't take advantage of OBP anymore, now that everyone knows how important it is, so he's turning his focus to dumbshit scorekeepers instead.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Typical moneyball fan
Trying to use numbers to define the game.JLC - April 4, 2007
You know
I bet if you asked the Mariners for their express written consent to replay this game, they'd say no.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
damn, I missed that grity ab by
ballgameMFAN - April 4, 2007
Should we go ahead and plan on
April 4th being the high point of the season?Matthew - April 4, 2007
I won't say yes
but I really won't say no.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
honestly
Cleveland, then Boston the next 6 games? That's a brutal first 9.Matthew - April 4, 2007
Of course
don't forget the four-game sweep of Anaheim in September.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
right, of course
the four game sweep to cement Anaheim into the cellar of the AL West will be the high point.Matthew - April 4, 2007
Well ummm....
I guess it only took one game for RA > RS.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Are we sure Felix can't go every
4th day?Matthew - April 4, 2007
Maybe Felix has an evil twin
Named Helix Fernandez.JLC - April 4, 2007
He's detected by circular dichroism!
......anyone?
Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
wow
you're a nerdMatthew - April 4, 2007
Check out the DNA on that kid!
Gomez - April 4, 2007
Vidro....
Fuck you.Happybelly - April 4, 2007
I can't wait until we play in Texas
to melt some of the bacon off Vidro's back.Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
Mariners win!
The series!Jeff Sullivan - April 4, 2007
true, but wow today sucked balls
on the other hand, Batista had poor command, but he did K way more people than I expected. I could see him pulling a 2006 Meche year.Matthew - April 4, 2007
I wish our offense wouldn't give up
just because we're down, there's no other reason to watch other than the hope that we might score some runs.and Dave Sims just called Harden's performance master-fur
Matthew - April 4, 2007
I'm actually glad our offense saved their energy.
Batista already hosed up the game. Don't really care about scoring one or two runs just because.ThundaPC - April 4, 2007
Forget that
Tomorrow's a travel day and we'd brought in subs. Go all out!thejew4u - April 4, 2007
FWIW
Yahoo now has the score 26-0 in the 3rd. Harden's defying mathematics with 10 IP and 16 Ks through those 3 innings.I needed something to smile about :)
thejew4u - April 4, 2007
Defying math
or being grittier than what the numbers say?JLC - April 4, 2007
Making it's 2007 debut!
Whatever, M's still lose.Goose - April 4, 2007
I turned on the TV just now
and... good fucking god.Maybe I should be glad I had a test and couldn't watch.
Or did I jinx the team by not watching/tracking the game tonight?
Either way, after 3 games... the Mariners have been outscored 13 to 12. BUT... they took a series from the A's.
What the f- I had no idea Miguel Batista was gonna suck THIS bad.
We also learned that if the M's are their hacktastic selves against a good pitcher, the M's WILL lose.
And we learned that Yahoo Sports' scorekeepers are smoking some good shit. It is now a 0-0 tie, despite 49 hits from the A's and 11 from the M's. Talk about offensive futility.
Gomez - April 4, 2007
According to Yahoo
Miguels' 4.2 IP did allow 30 hits but he has struck out 15 batters.Does Yahoo not screen their job applicants?
Gomez - April 4, 2007
Well that was a good game to sleep through
Graham MacAree - April 4, 2007
At least Jeff still rules.
Came home from volleyball, read the rest of this thread from where I left, and laughed out loud several times.Deanna - April 4, 2007
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