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Lookout Landing

Life Lessons I've Learned From Watching The Mariners

It's always possible to end up trusting someone less tomorrow than you do today.

If you need something done right, call a guy in Cleveland or San Diego.

Misgivings and skepticism make the heart grow fonder.

Life is most happily spent wallowing in either the past or the distant future.

Sobriety is the devil's workshop.

A heart can never be 100% broken. (Think 'golden rectangle'.)

Never buy autographed cards of your favorite players on eBay unless you're prepared to follow them to whichever destination they get traded to the next week.

The grass is always greener on the more experienced side of the fence.

You're either born with hustle or you're born with talent.

Parents who want their children to play baseball professionally should raise them to be old.

Probably the most important thing is that when things get really bad and the world looks its darkest, you just have to throw up your hands and say "Well, all right!" Because it's probably gonna get a whole hell of a lot worse.

Orange hair is only a good look if you're fucking crazy.

Japanese people have mind control powers.

Within every person is an arsonist or murderer who is but a single severe GTE episode away from coming to the surface.

Never break up with someone who can withstand being vicariously abused - both verbally and psychologically - as the two of you watch the Mariners fritter away a winnable game.

Be spendthrift and worry about the future only when the future becomes the present.

The maximum allowable alcohol content of a chaser is exactly half that of the original beverage being chased.

Failure is funny, and laughter's the best medicine.

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Comments

Unconditional love only leads to abadonment
or frustrating disappointment.

Never trust a non-Belgian beer that claims to be brewed "Belgian-Style".^

If something is exceeding your expectations; expect disaster shortly.

There's no cure for stupid.

Be careful what you wish for. It can always be worse.

Image is more important than anything in the world.

^Less than three exceptions exist.

There is a cure for stupid.
Death.
I consider that more a side effect
but, fair point.
Okay, maybe not a "cure"
But it solves the problem, or at least that one isolated case.
it's a cure for the rest of us
"SHPEDOINKLE!"
n/s
Failure is funny, and laughter's the best medicine.

While I agree this is true - frustration, rather than failure, seems to be a more common experience when paying attention to this ball club. And I'm finding it very difficult to laugh away frustration.

Damn!
My mind control secrets are out!
Good God
After reading this I slowly started looking around hoping for the love of me that the trade didnt go down while I was in the shower...
My Solution...
Portland Beavers, baby. Go Padres!
Just renewed my Beavers mini-plan
I love going to those games.
Cannibal!
YES! I'm so glad I converted you.
I am forever indebted to you

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