The sixth in a non-alphabetical and irregularly updated series of review pieces for each(?) of the players we predicted last spring.
LL/USSM Community: .276/.343/.447
Actual Line: .293/.358/.479
I'm tired of writing the same stuff about Ibanez over and over again so today I give you the illustrated version of what should at this point be common knowledge.
Yes, Raul Ibanez is a good hitter. Over the last three years he's been the best hitter on the team. But hitting is only half of his job, and while he's been able to hold his own in that department for a while, his defense has slipped to the point at which he could leave his glove in the outfield and go get some snacks during play and still provide a reasonable approximation of his physical ability. Overall he's been a below-average player these last two years, and at 36 years old, his best days are behind him, meaning whoever gives him a three-year contract to reward his professionalism and RBI totals will be paying a guy who simply doesn't help the team win. A small drop in his offense going forward will get him pushing the boundary of 1 WAR, and any significant age-related decline will sink his value in a hurry. He's just a bad gamble. Shame on the team that gives Raul the money he's going to get.
Raul, I appreciate all the run production and hard work, but your canonization is a shining example of everything that was wrong with the prior front office. Although I like you fine as a guy and as a role model for some of the younger players, I am beyond ready to move on and replace you with someone who gets more done, so with that in mind, good luck, and thanks for the laughs. Your defense may have contributed to the killing of a season, but your .gifs were what saved it. And that counts for something.
27 recs | 90 comments
I'm speechless.
How did Robert get access to your account?
Wilder. - December 1, 2008
I only use the straight line tool.
Robert - December 1, 2008
So you're a Cubist?
Wilder. - December 1, 2008
How long did you work on that?
Goose - December 1, 2008
Too
Jeff Sullivan - December 1, 2008
Jeff why are you so incredibly awesome
Corco - December 1, 2008
Funny how only NL teams are interested
JLC - December 1, 2008
CUBS CUBS CUBS
JI - December 1, 2008
METS METS METS
.Taylor - December 1, 2008
Dodger Blue!
mark sobba - December 2, 2008
I laughed.
BrettJMiller - December 1, 2008
The Raultopia sign spontaneously combusting did it for me
JLC - December 1, 2008
I just would like to know what that cannon is made out of and how long the seige by Flyballville took
Dewey N - December 1, 2008
Flyballvillians (I assume that's what they're called)
were probably already pissed off that some of them have oddly geometric-shaped heads. The cannon just sent them over the edge.
Matthew - December 1, 2008
I have to think that the fact that their land looks to be radioactive has something to do with it.
Robert - December 1, 2008
A tragic flavor-enhancer mishap.
Matthew - December 1, 2008
So really it's Jeff they should be mad at.
Aaron Campeau - December 1, 2008
They're incapable of lowering their arms below parallel with the ground,
so their modes of revenge are limited.
Matthew - December 1, 2008
Who the fuck keeps the weapon cache to a 4 story cannon in the middle of tiny village
More like Justaskingfortroubletopia
Robert - December 1, 2008
The mayor of Raultopia must be a former James Bond nemesis.
Matthew - December 1, 2008
Raultopia bears a striking resemblance to Peenemünde
Robert - December 1, 2008
One of them has his arms down
Jeff Sullivan - December 2, 2008
One arm. Once. In one shot.
I call parallax.
Llewdor - December 2, 2008
Jeff Sullivan - December 2, 2008
Yes, I noticed that shortly thereafter
but I didn’t want to ruin my parallax joke.
Llewdor - December 2, 2008
I believe they prefer to be called Flyball-Americans, you racist
seattlebruin - December 2, 2008
The cannon is made out of offensive output
BrettJMiller - December 1, 2008
The siege was similar in length to the Danish Siege of Arhus in 1050.
Llewdor - December 2, 2008
WOW
WOW, WOW, so funny
JMKaustin - December 1, 2008
It would have been interesting to see Ibanez try out 1B a little last year.
It probably would have been a disaster but as long as he would have been better than David Ortiz at 1B, he would have been an improvement over his current LF defense.
Edgar for Pres - December 1, 2008
Reminds me of Advance Wars
ThundaPC - December 1, 2008
You should just post in pics and fictional chats for the next month
Gomez - December 1, 2008
This made my brain visualize sweaters, a fireplace, complete with FDR's cigarette holder and accent.
dpseadv - December 1, 2008
Did anyone else know that Raul is the worst 3rd baseman ever, statistcally speaking?
Small sample size but still a true testament to his defensive abilities.
Kirk - December 1, 2008
Umm, what?
joof - December 2, 2008
Raul has one throwing error in 1 chance at 3rd.
Robert - December 2, 2008
AHAHAHAHAHA
That’s totally awesome.
joof - December 2, 2008
My question is, what happened in panel 9 that caused the ground to heave up so suddenly?
Do the Flyballians have an earthquake machine?
Goose - December 1, 2008
Raultopia citizens tried to use water from the sea to put out the fire obviously.
Matthew - December 1, 2008
That's burnt wreckage
Jeff Sullivan - December 1, 2008
My reply was more creative.
Matthew - December 1, 2008
i'm new here
and just finished watching some of the gifs on the right sidebar. i have to say, those are only funny because (a) it’s the first time i’ve seen them (especially the lawn dart); and (b) because Raul is not on the Giants, and hopefully will never be
baetown415 - December 1, 2008
We should have adopted Mariners.
Robert - December 1, 2008
Shot Felix
Robert - December 1, 2008
Thanks for stopping by.
Just FYI, we like to make proper use of the shift key here.
Also, they don’t stop being funny just because you’ve seen them.
Matthew - December 1, 2008
but wait.
what if the boat isn’t really from Flyballville, but actually carrying men from Raultopia under the Flyballville flag, and are attacking Raultopia just to to give Raul an cheap excuse to attack Flyballville when it isn’t expecting it….
msb - December 1, 2008
The plot thickens!
Duh duh duuuuuh!
seattlesundevil - December 1, 2008
Ah, Flyballville conspiracy theories....
Gomez - December 2, 2008
Why have a really expensive cannon then?
Corco - December 2, 2008
do I really have to be the one ...
to explain to young Not Corco why some men feel the need to buy a …. really expensive cannon?
msb - December 2, 2008
At the same time tell him
why some men feel the need to buy a red convertible with which to haul said cannon.
pdb - December 2, 2008
Oh right
Corco - December 2, 2008
Sounds kinda familiar...
JMKaustin - December 2, 2008
HARRYP09 - December 1, 2008
Ruban would be a sick nickname if he ever were to need one
tootthekazoo - December 2, 2008
I regret that we never got to see him play catcher.
Robert - December 1, 2008
Are Flyballvillains communist simpactico?
Why dont they have a huge canon, especially since it appears they have a greater population than Raultopica.
And my God Jeff WTF. This is now my favorite post on here.
Slica - December 2, 2008
Beautiful
Fett42 - December 2, 2008
You should really sell these at an art market somewhere.
Kirsten Schlewitz - December 2, 2008
I was hoping to see a Raultopia fireball lawn dart.
seamariners85 - December 2, 2008
Hadoken!
Two Rs and Two Ls - December 2, 2008
TIGER UPPERCUT!
seamariners85 - December 2, 2008
How does this only have 17 recs?
This is without doubt the greatest frontpage post in the history of Lookout Landing
seattlebruin - December 2, 2008
Really?
The RRS blender?
Faux - December 2, 2008
This is better
seattlebruin - December 2, 2008
No, the blender wins over this.
It provided hours of entertainment attempting to decipher the images.
Kirsten Schlewitz - December 2, 2008
I agree, but this is a very close second.
royalcurve - December 2, 2008
Hit the buzz up button, I have no idea what happens when enough people do that.
Hopefully everyone with internet access will be linked to this post.
dpseadv - December 2, 2008
I'm afraid to hit that button
because it probably delivers some sort of bee sting or electrical shock. The internets scare me.
pdb - December 2, 2008
How much longer do we have until Jeff starts posting entirely in images?
BrianL - December 2, 2008
He's currently negotiating with Robert's an my lawyers
and we should have a royalty settlement by the end of the week.
JI - December 2, 2008
Before/after
Stephon Marbury cut by Knicks
seattlebruin - December 2, 2008
You know what would be easier if the masses wanted our content on the front page...
Robert - December 2, 2008
He could just ban you both, claim you gave permission, and you'd never be able to convince us otherwise.
Llewdor - December 2, 2008
We would nag him to death
Robert - December 2, 2008
If butthol can master alt screennames I'd like to think I could too.
JI - December 2, 2008
I'm sure you would like to think that.
Llewdor - December 2, 2008
I should have written about Nick Punto instead of showing a picture of him
Jeff Sullivan - December 2, 2008
there's a "short story" joke to be made here but I'm lazy
pdb - December 2, 2008
My Beltre post was 1200 words long
Jeff Sullivan - December 2, 2008
pfft like people read the front page anymore
Robert - December 2, 2008
The Offtop
has 10x as many words. People get tired after a while.
JI - December 2, 2008
I think the number of all image posts is proportional to the intelligence of the viewers
I love them but give me a good recap of an Angels game. That’s where Jeff’s ability with words shines.
Edgar for Pres - December 2, 2008
Thanks for the chuckle
InSpokane - December 2, 2008
If that were an actual movie
I would have to quit my job.
Shawk - December 2, 2008
I just realized that Raultopia/Flyballville could also be a metaphor for the Bavasi era vs the GMZ era
Gomez - December 2, 2008
Perfect
This post is an absolutely textbook example of why, even as an A’s fan, this site easily make it into my 5 favorite websites on the internet, baseball related or not.
Thank you.
SkipT - December 2, 2008
Well that and the Mariners are (for the moment) the team Adrian Beltre plays for
And that means a hell of a lot too.
SkipT - December 2, 2008
Jeff = my furher.
EnglishMariner - December 5, 2008
I clicked the facebook icon for this.
.Taylor - December 9, 2008
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