You need the Mariners to bring you back from the depths of hell for a period of time just to get you back to the lighthearted dejection level. If the M’s bomb this weekend, you are not coming back that quickly.
I turned on the game in the 7th, i.e. around 8:30, and wondered how this game was moving so fast. Everyone’s working really quick. It’s like these guys have to catch a flight or something, which is weird because they just got here and they have another game tomorrow.
Oakland Batters: get up to bat King Felix: SIT THE FUCK DOWN McLaren: gets up to call in the bullpen King Felix: SIT THE FUCK DOWN Lowe: gets up to warm up King Felix: SIT THE FUCK DOWN Pepe: gets up to hog the post-game interview King Felix: Whatever, I hate that scrawny bitch.
If Felix had a theme song, these would be the lyrics
Behold the King, the King of Kings. On your knees dog. All hail.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King. Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
The King grinned red as he walked from the blaze, Where the traitor lost both his name and his face. Through the halls and the corridors stinging in blood, He tasted his grin and it tasted good. The King took his head. Left him broken and dead.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King. Bow down to the, bow down to the King. Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
The King left none living, none able to tell. The King took their heads and he sent them to hell. Their screams echoed loud in the place of their death. Ripped open they died. With their final breath. They hailed to the King, the King of Kings.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King. Bow down to the, bow down to the King. Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Into the dirt, his will be done. Now feel your fear, there can be only one.
Bow down, bow down, bow down to the … Bow down, bow down, bow down, bow down to the … Bow down, bow down to the… Bow down to the, bow down to the King. Bow down to the … Bow down, bow down, bow down.
The King is here, now feel your fear. The King of Kings.
All hail, all hail the King. On your knees, on your knees for the King.
I think of a pre-game show from last year or so, when the woman who was filling in for Angie who was exploding with babies said in reference to something:
Sub Lady Anchor: “I am the gatekeeper, are you the keymaster?”
Bill got this look on his face like he had grown a boner so huge that it was going to smash up through the news desk if he so much as sneezed
FIRST
basebliman - April 16, 2008
ohhhhh no you don't
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
I'll pay you later
basebliman - April 16, 2008
Well played sir
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
This is what you get
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Fail
dbroncos31 - April 16, 2008
dammit
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Simms, you jinx.
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
To be fair he's said it more than once.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Holy fuck it's the 7th?
I could of swore it was the 4th.
Goose - April 16, 2008
You're used to last night's tits pace.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
That's how you make something good out of something bad
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
JI - April 16, 2008
looks like someone started a meth habit
IMHO
saltydog75 - April 16, 2008
I don't think I like Nick Swisher anymore.
Too much professional sex.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
that thread will never not be funny
JI - April 16, 2008
I can't find it now though
Anyone got a link?
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Yup.
JI - April 16, 2008
Oh I meant Jeff's writeup where he mentioned Nick Swisher's job was professional sex
From last year. Best writeup ever. But I don’t know where to find it.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
I swaer that term sounds like
a SA filter pwn
JI - April 16, 2008
Odd
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
That looks like the product of a sleepover practical joke.
I half-expected one his eyebrows to be missing.
The Alaskan - April 16, 2008
actually a decent play by ibanez there
to cut taht ball off and keep him to a single
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
A good LF doesn't need to slide though.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Wait they're not allowed to get hits
Nick S - April 16, 2008
ahhhhh!!!!!
that travis buck bobblehead is frightening
sammy - April 16, 2008
If I were Rizzs
I’d hang on to the ball for 15 minutes until everyone forgets about it, then lob it out of the booth onto somebody’s head.
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
You have turned into a dark, shady character.
The Sens must have raped your soul away.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
I'll be back to my lighthearted dejection by the weekend
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
You can take an extra week if you want.
I don’t think the Mariners are going to get you back into shape that quickly.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
This weekend has potential
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Well that's the problem.
You need the Mariners to bring you back from the depths of hell for a period of time just to get you back to the lighthearted dejection level. If the M’s bomb this weekend, you are not coming back that quickly.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
That's true
the week after this weekend has potential.
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
As broadcasters hazing Rizzs
chinn - April 16, 2008
K!!
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
6 Ks now
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
Dave's eating a burger in the broadcast booth.
This is hilarious.
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Back in the day
it was supposedly scotch and cigarettes all game long…
chinn - April 16, 2008
Next time you only hear the color guy for ten minutes, you know what's up
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
It's a shame they don't do live commercials for cigarettes anymore.
JI - April 16, 2008
I could really go for a nice cool drag
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Is there a punchline to that?
I’m too young to remember what a cigarette commercial would look like.
The Alaskan - April 16, 2008
I fail to see why I need to double up the punchline.
JI - April 16, 2008
K!!! wooo
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Wow...
that was straight cheese.
PLU Tim - April 16, 2008
Soo... Bedard as staff ace is kind of irrelevant now
vkut79 - April 16, 2008
No, it's still relevant.
If he is not around, we only have 1 ace to go with our shitastic offense and bullpen.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
I mean in the sense of having one staff ace, one "go to guy"
vkut79 - April 16, 2008
But we always had two of those.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
However Bedard as important is not
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
I don't know why that got blockquoted but I like it
Really highlights the sad.
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Love the quick rationalization
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
That's why I still like Felix's fastball
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Nice save Sims.
Goose - April 16, 2008
It's because I told Felix he was the staff ace all along on MySpace.
I know it.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Why am I certain that Kurt Suzuki is 19 inches tall?
BHP - April 16, 2008
Holy crap Beltre is fucking awesome.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
King Awesome!
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
King Fucking Awesome!
Goose - April 16, 2008
Jeez...Beltre has been busy.
And boy is he AWESOME!
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
KING AWESOME!
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
When is the last time Beltre made a play
without his gold glove being mentioned…
LantermanC - April 16, 2008
King Awesome
dkulich - April 16, 2008
BELTRE!!!!!!!!
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Beltre!!
Happybelly - April 16, 2008
Beltre rocks
and our Suzuki is better than theirs
Nick S - April 16, 2008
Our Suzuki is a ninja
chinn - April 16, 2008
our Suzuki is better than a ninja
he doesnt need to play hide and go seek in pajamas while he is awesome.
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
Sweet Jesus in a blender King Awesome is awesome!
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Pitch Count?
Can the King go 8?
Goose - April 16, 2008
89 pitches
dkulich - April 16, 2008
=yes
chinn - April 16, 2008
89
He’ll need a quick 8th
thenatural - April 16, 2008
The King can go nine
And Yuni’s on my temporary shitlist for throwing away a shutout
cwel87 - April 16, 2008
Places to avoid hitting the ball against the M's
1. 3rd base
2. Center
OK I’m out
seattlebruin - April 16, 2008
3. backwards
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Foul territory behind the catcher?
dkulich - April 16, 2008
I was thinking about adding Kenji
but how often is the ball hit to the catcher?
seattlebruin - April 16, 2008
3. The broadcast booth.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
unh.
Jaymee was hotter than you mindy. even if you give off a cougar vibe.
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
Mindy Bach
No Jaymee Sire
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Mindi and Jaymee?
chinn - April 16, 2008
And postgame reporter
Gessycha White
thenatural - April 16, 2008
TURBO!
JI - April 16, 2008
Why don't we have a hot FSN bitch?
dkulich - April 16, 2008
I've seen one, she wasn't the hottest
but she had a nice rack and a low cut shirt
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Angie Mentink?
JI - April 16, 2008
Vintage Turbo
jtopps - April 16, 2008
Turbo Power!
Infield hit
MfaninAlaska - April 16, 2008
Speedy Vidro
vkut79 - April 16, 2008
Trubo hustle
Who placed the hotdog at first base
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
I heart Vidro infield singles
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA A’s announcers “Vidro runs too well”
WHAT?
?
?!
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Two innings from .500
Woooo
phil333 - April 16, 2008
Run you Twinkie!
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Turbo Boost!
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
Pure speed right there
seattlebruin - April 16, 2008
"Vidro runs pretty well"
I wish these guys didn’t put me to sleep because they say some real nuggets.
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
too many cupcakes...cannot jump!
Diatribe - April 16, 2008
according to A's dudes "Vidro runs too well"
Nick S - April 16, 2008
A's cclor guy says Vidro "runs well"
chinn - April 16, 2008
Turbo infield hits are back!
Goose - April 16, 2008
Did Sexson just apologize for sucking?
dkulich - April 16, 2008
TURBOPUNS!
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
MORE LYTES THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
It's got what plants need!
Nick S - April 16, 2008
SPORTS!
AHHHHHH!
Goose - April 16, 2008
wait shit i was quoting brawndo not powerthirst
Nick S - April 16, 2008
It's what plants crave, because it has electrolytes!
joof - April 16, 2008
Don't mean to be a dick or nothin
but it says here you’re fucked up. You talk like a fag, and your shit’s all retarded.
Nick S - April 16, 2008
Wait, no, *this* one goes in your mouth, and *this* one goes in your ass.
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
I'd love to see a vidro steal
sammy - April 16, 2008
He apparently runs well..
So why not?
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Then we'd hear that "there's a rabbit loose on the basepaths"
chinn - April 16, 2008
he already
has a stolen base this year.
MfaninAlaska - April 16, 2008
I had somehow blocked that from my memory.
I think the improbability of it was too much for me to handle.
sammy - April 16, 2008
Only the Mariners can get 4 runs off a pitcher
and still allow him to pitch into the 8th.
Goose - April 16, 2008
And 12 hits
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
FUNK STRIKEOUT
phil333 - April 16, 2008
With Felix on the mound, Richie's K's don't piss me off as much
I Like this
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Come on richie
thenatural - April 16, 2008
"Sexson swung at ball four"
fat joe…dont be too happy with yourself. its richie sexson. and youre still fat.
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
That ball was so clearly low
Not even a breaking ball or anything
vkut79 - April 16, 2008
Needs more Bonds.
cwel87 - April 16, 2008
Does Sexson even see the ball?
chinn - April 16, 2008
More Wlad
vkut79 - April 16, 2008
Brad Wilkerson = Ruben Sierra
In that I do not think I have ever seen them get a hit in a Mariner uniform. I am sure they do / did get them – but I never witness them.
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Ruben Sierra was on fucking fire for the first third of the season.
JI - April 16, 2008
I wish Wilkerson had the same problem :-(
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Get out of my life Wilkerson
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
The Sexson-Wilkerson power hour
AKA the big ass hole in our lineup
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
We need a sphincterectomy
chinn - April 16, 2008
son's need to start hitting
Nick S - April 16, 2008
Needs more Sex, Wilker
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
To recap:
1st pitch: close, no swing
2nd pitch: not close, check swing
3rd pitch: even less close, full swing
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Gameday for that AB looks pretty funny
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Awe inspiring really
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Triunfel hasn't played in over a week
I worry.
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
Cairo at 1st?
Hey now.
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
What is Felix's PC?
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
93
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
Yeesh.... needs a quick inning.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
89
Rollo Tomasi - April 16, 2008
93
Nick S - April 16, 2008
89 coming into the inning
Very low stress though
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
gameday says 89 for some reason
Rollo Tomasi - April 16, 2008
Dell Dimension 5100
with 512 RAM mmmmm
MsinDC - April 16, 2008
Dude, it's a Dell.
You can expect it to crap out in 3 months.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
Hmm
Maybe that’s Bedard’s PC then.
I made myself sad. =(
joof - April 16, 2008
Touche.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
Miguel Cairo is our defensive substitution
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
progress
JI - April 16, 2008
whoa. a defensive replacement?
sammy - April 16, 2008
Miguel Cairo.
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Take it as you will..
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Yuni wants to be like Beltre
but Yuni is not Beltre
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
Terrible pitch
BHP - April 16, 2008
....is that Motorhead's King of Kings I heard?
Goose - April 16, 2008
Oh no....not this shit.
Happybelly - April 16, 2008
Dammit Raul
Where’s his defensive sub
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
DO NOT
bring in the bullpen
LantermanC - April 16, 2008
DP
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
Sheeeeeeet here we go King..
Need some K’s
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
IBANEZ = ARRGGH
melack - April 16, 2008
Why did he fall down?!
Tard.
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Uh oh's.
Goose - April 16, 2008
Here comes the Ellis home run and the scrounging for razor blades
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
At least the expectation is already there
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
I don't have to look far for mine
Make a necklace out of it.
JLC - April 16, 2008
Ellis homers = puppies in Tucson dying tonight
Nick S - April 16, 2008
You live in Tucson? I live in Tucson!
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
sweet
yeah I’m at U of A… you going to any Rainiers games next week?
Nick S - April 16, 2008
I might go to the Saturday one
I have to work for the Thursday and Friday night ones.
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Did Greinke leave any behind for us?
Gomez - April 16, 2008
dp time.
sammy - April 16, 2008
Hmmm
that wasn’t so bad. It was closer than Raul usually gets…
seattlebruin - April 16, 2008
God fucking damnit these hits are so fucking stupid
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
Gameday shows that Felix has been losing velocity on the fastball.
borgy - April 16, 2008
He just hit 95
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Yeah I saw that.
My bad.
borgy - April 16, 2008
I took a nap after work
I turned on the game in the 7th, i.e. around 8:30, and wondered how this game was moving so fast. Everyone’s working really quick. It’s like these guys have to catch a flight or something, which is weird because they just got here and they have another game tomorrow.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Sooooooooo
Who wishes we had Jimerson to replace Ibaenz in LF?
JI - April 16, 2008
100 pitch mark.
come on King!
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
DP Time!
pup - April 16, 2008
DP
Nice!
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
Well no complete game
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
excellent
JI - April 16, 2008
DP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FELIX!
Happybelly - April 16, 2008
YEAH FUCKER! SUCK IT ELLIS!
Goose - April 16, 2008
WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
How the FUCK did he get a piece of that?
BHP - April 16, 2008
Whooooo
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
Good patience Felix
I was dreading he’d throw too early
marinator - April 16, 2008
Nice play Felix!
ack - April 16, 2008
who was the 1b ump nodding to?
LantermanC - April 16, 2008
THERE YOU GO
Not that Felix was at fault for getting into trouble. Total luck hits.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
First one was a real hit
dkulich - April 16, 2008
Sharp grounder
One yard to either side and that’s an easy out.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Nice
dkulich - April 16, 2008
great turn Yuni!!!
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
BIGTIME DP!!!!!
thenatural - April 16, 2008
sexy
Nick S - April 16, 2008
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
seattlebruin - April 16, 2008
!!!!!!
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
BIGTIME DP!!!!!
thenatural - April 16, 2008
doh!
pup - April 16, 2008
FUCK!
Goose - April 16, 2008
Fuck that.
Happybelly - April 16, 2008
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I fucking hate bloop RBIs!!
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Damn it
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
don't worry
it’s putz wooo time…
LantermanC - April 16, 2008
That run involved zero skill from the A's
I almost want them to call it unearned.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Yuni has a cannon
seattlebruin - April 16, 2008
gameday stuck again
Rollo Tomasi - April 16, 2008
shitty
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Green again.
yeeesssss
JI - April 16, 2008
What the is with these pussy ass shit hits today
seattlebruin - April 16, 2008
Whatever these hits are terribly annoying
Felix is still completely owning
marinator - April 16, 2008
are these the angels?
so many pussy hits
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
English Mariner takes a lot of pussy hits.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
Arthur Rhodes and Everyday Sean Green up in the pen
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Green, Rhodes warming up
Implosion imminent
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
Espically for Rhodes
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
Green warming up again?
Happybelly - April 16, 2008
Rhodes warming up?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Goose - April 16, 2008
Hahaha totally on same page there
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Rhodes getting loose in 2 run ballgame NOOOOOO
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Well..
I hope they dont’ bring in Rodes…
LantermanC - April 16, 2008
YES BRING IN ARTHUR RHODES THAT IS A SPLENDID IDEA
JI - April 16, 2008
i sense a door closing rally coming in the top of the 9th
sammy - April 16, 2008
Rhodes and Green
up in the pen….
ugggh.
MfaninAlaska - April 16, 2008
One more batter, Felix
ack - April 16, 2008
one more out baby
make it quick before Rhodes comes in
jtopps - April 16, 2008
I have only seen bloop hits tonight.
melack - April 16, 2008
Please not Rhodes
Brian Floyd - April 16, 2008
No Rhodes No Rhodes No Rhodes No Rhodes
No Rhodes No Rhodes No Rhodes No Rhodes
thenatural - April 16, 2008
squinty
wants greens arm to fall off his body. i guess he wants another lefty in the pen and will form green to pitch that way with only one arm.
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
I think there have been 2 legitimate hits off of Felix
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
Last batter for El Rey
get this fucker out
Nick S - April 16, 2008
Where the hell is that slider at if its not a strike
dkulich - April 16, 2008
RRS must be deaders again
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
He did pitch yesterday.
...
JI - April 16, 2008
Yeah that made loads of sense
Nick S - April 16, 2008
And the game before
so yeah
Gomez - April 16, 2008
And Green has pitched every day since The Assumption
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Time to start putting him on the milk cartons again
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
KEEP ROWLAND ROWLAND ROWLAND ROWLAND
Brought to you by the always intellectually-suspect Safeco sound guy.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
What the fuck?
ack - April 16, 2008
Oh come on Felix just get him
Gomez - April 16, 2008
I AM NOT PLEASED WITH THIS DEVELOPMENT!
Goose - April 16, 2008
Strikes
That’s what these are
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
oh noes
sammy - April 16, 2008
Rhodes vs. Cust
That sounds bad!!!!!
MfaninAlaska - April 16, 2008
Are you fucking serious.
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
I saw John Maine do this shit 3 hours ago.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
DOES RYAN ROWLAND SMITH EXIST???
god fucking squinty Ryan Rowland-Smith is unstoppable WHAT THE HELL
seattlebruin - April 16, 2008
FELIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happybelly - April 16, 2008
YOWZA! Hairy!
pup - April 16, 2008
K! FUCK YEAH!
Goose - April 16, 2008
HUGE
saltydog75 - April 16, 2008
Sit the fuck down
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
Your words are my words.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
K!!
jeffie51 - April 16, 2008
NO SOUP FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
Gomez - April 16, 2008
TrashiDawa - April 16, 2008
We need someone with photoshop skills to get a silhouette here
TrashiDawa - April 16, 2008
Thank you Felix!
MfaninAlaska - April 16, 2008
WOOOOOOO!
K!
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
K
OOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!
Massive Ownership!!
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you King!
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
FUCK YEAH YOU COCKGOBBLING SORRY ASS MOTHERFUCKER
JI - April 16, 2008
Put that in your ass and smoke it, Sweeney!
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
Felix the "K"
jtopps - April 16, 2008
Pure unadulterated ownage.
JLC - April 16, 2008
K!!!
Why is Sean Green warming up FOR THE FOURTH STRAIGHT DAY
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Sqiunty keeps mistaking him for Mike Marshall
Gomez - April 16, 2008
He has the closer mentality.
Fin - April 16, 2008
FUCK YEAH!!!
siddown bitch!
basebliman - April 16, 2008
YES
dkulich - April 16, 2008
FUCKING BEAUTIFUL
sammy - April 16, 2008
K!!!!!!!!!!!!
thenatural - April 16, 2008
YEAH BITCHHHH
Nick S - April 16, 2008
SIT DOWN
seattlebruin - April 16, 2008
I don't know what Felix is yelling but in my head it's insults in Latin
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Cacator cave malum, aut si contempseris, habeas Iovem iratum!!
Matthew - April 16, 2008
OH NO YOU DIH-UNT!
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
SCORE INSURANCE RUNS PLEASE!
Goose - April 16, 2008
Felix has been quite the innings eating.
Fin - April 16, 2008
innings eater*
Fin - April 16, 2008
Felix
Is the KKKKKKKing
sandalfan - April 16, 2008
Fan reaction = Priceless.
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
Mike Sweeney's popular...he looks like a chick I dated in high school
GET A HAIRCUT!
MsinDC - April 16, 2008
You dated a girl that looks like Mike Sweeney?
[insert Surprise face]
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
You sure you didn't just date Mike Sweeny?
joof - April 16, 2008
What a great first month
Far and beyond what I had expected from Felix so far. I thought he’d be good, but I didn’t expect this kind of total domination.
This almost makes up for Bedard being out.
marinator - April 16, 2008
Sign that man to whatever the hell he wants
Seriously, just give him a blank check for chrissakes.
cwel87 - April 16, 2008
Their current offer is a pretty bad lowball
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Just roll Brinks trucks full of cash bricks up to his home
until he says, “OK that’s enough.”
Gomez - April 16, 2008
I told him he should settle for no less than 10/100
Sorry guys.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
2 Seamer...
If Felix taking some off of his 2 Seamer? Seems like he’s in the mid 80s with the pitch tonight.
PLU Tim - April 16, 2008
He's in the low- to mid-90s
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
No per Gameday....
he’s in the 84-88 range with a lot of his “fastballs”
PLU Tim - April 16, 2008
I'm seeing 92-95 on Gameday
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Wizzle wozzle?
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
So I've never tired one of these but...
SethGrandpa - April 16, 2008
Hahahahahaha
Awesome
dbroncos31 - April 16, 2008
LOL
Fin - April 16, 2008
PORKINS!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
Hilarious.
Goose - April 16, 2008
OMG Jek Porkins is my FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the best picture ever….
MsinDC - April 16, 2008
EXCELLENT
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Nice.
JLC - April 16, 2008
Uh win
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
I CAN HOLD IT
Graham MacAree - April 16, 2008
So incredibly awesome.
This is worthy of a rec.
BrianL - April 16, 2008
So...
That Felix kid is pretty good at pitching.
joof - April 16, 2008
Yeah I might try to pick him up in fantasy
I think he’s probably available
dbroncos31 - April 16, 2008
Holy crap
that was Sweeney’s first strikeout in 59 plate appearances.
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Vidro wants to get on TV with Brad Adams
Adams refuses. TV adds pounds and the screen can barely support Vidro as is
jtopps - April 16, 2008
Lowe sighting!
Yay to no Rhodes / Green
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Lowe Rider in the pen
That’s better.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Lowe for the 9th
figured it be Morrow knowing squinty.
MfaninAlaska - April 16, 2008
Gotta get him in the flow of the game!
/McSquinty
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
I'd still send King Felix out there, but I'm crazy.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Me too.
It’s not like he is still 19 years old.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
I miss JJ
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
I miss patient Jose.
melack - April 16, 2008
I miss him too
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
Where is Last Fan of Jose Lopez???
You need to defend his honor!
Fin - April 16, 2008
Yeah, he's been gone for...oh wait, he was there yesterday.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Yeah
Why the hell is Jose waving at shitty pitches again?
I’m starting to wonder if his patience is the product of the dugout sending the TAKE sign out for the first 3-4 pitches of all his ABs.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
What a game pitched by Felix
That was definitely the King walking off of there
OlSalty - April 16, 2008
Yeah that was the best 8-hit performance I've ever seen
Nick S - April 16, 2008
Yeah
I’d say like 2 of those were legit hits, and the rest were shitty little flares he fooled them badly on.
OlSalty - April 16, 2008
Lopez struck out?
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
Alright boys
3 outs let’s go.
phil333 - April 16, 2008
Lowe coming in
apprehension lowering….
Goose - April 16, 2008
dammit Loafie
Nick S - April 16, 2008
Lowe?
I figurerd Mac would use his new veteran toy until bavasi took it from him.
JI - April 16, 2008
Here we go.
Putz not in. Game still in question.
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
Putz out. Game on?
melack - April 16, 2008
FELIX IN
Game over.
TrashiDawa - April 16, 2008
Ms offense really took the last 6 innings off
Matthew - April 16, 2008
Any word on when Putz is coming back?
Right after he gets off the DL or what?
marinator - April 16, 2008
Most people come back when they're taken off the DL
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Matthew's answer is more of what I was looking for there
marinator - April 16, 2008
no definitive word yet, but a minor league rehab is possible for a few games
Matthew - April 16, 2008
They’re about to get blowed down!
Am I right?
Goose - April 16, 2008
Guess not haha
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
FELIX!
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
WWAAAAA??!
King still in? Wow…
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
FELIX FELIX FELIX
JI - April 16, 2008
Hey Felix woo
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Felix in?
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
So uh.......
Goose - April 16, 2008
Leaving him in? Whoa.
Happybelly - April 16, 2008
1-2-3 inning and I am off to get a spicey chicken sandwhich
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
That sounds MAGNIFICENT.
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
#6 at Wendy's?
borgy - April 16, 2008
Hey I just ate Wendy's
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
You are the fucking man.
borgy - April 16, 2008
Don't tell Lopez
he’ll find you and fuck you
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
Mmmmmmmm
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
NO
YOU MUST GET SQUARE MEAT WHEN YOU GO TO WENDY’S
JI - April 16, 2008
Yes, I believe so.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
FELIX!!!!!!!!!!!
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Felix back out?
Okay. I’ll take it.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
108 pitches at the start.
I’m… not a fan.
Matthew - April 16, 2008
This is probably all Felix's doings
after the Lowe game in Baltimore he doesn’t really want to come out if he doesn’t have to.
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Uh oh's......
Goose - April 16, 2008
Pitchers really value wins
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
But the last time Felix left the game with a 2-run lead.....
He wants to finish what he couldn’t before.
He is earning his grit stripes.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
If anyone gets on the should yank him.
JI - April 16, 2008
This is madness!
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
I will not finish this quote
thenatural - April 16, 2008
I will...
No it’s not..
Did I do that right?
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
Sigh
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
This is Felix!
K’D
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
THI... IS...LESBOS!!!!!!
Rollo Tomasi - April 16, 2008
This is Brett's fault if this goes bad.
Goose - April 16, 2008
FELIX!
Happybelly - April 16, 2008
K
YEOWCH!!!!!!!
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
This is where Felix tears a ligament or two.
Or three.
melack - April 16, 2008
Or just strikes fools out!
melack - April 16, 2008
Go Away
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Whose?
Oakland’s?
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Wrong, wrong
and wrong.
JLC - April 16, 2008
Felix for interim closer!
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Felix is awesome.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
"K"ing!!!!
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
FUCK YEAH
thenatural - April 16, 2008
SWEET MERCY
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
FELIX HAS NONE
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
THERE WILL BE NO MERCY
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
Flyout
I’ll take it.
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
Can Felix collect the W and the S?
Fin - April 16, 2008
2 DOWN
thenatural - April 16, 2008
This is comical
100 pitches, so what?
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Raul in LF, so what?
chinn - April 16, 2008
Ok so this is awesome.
Goose - April 16, 2008
Booyah!
ack - April 16, 2008
FELIX RULES YOU!
Matthew - April 16, 2008
COMPLETE GAME'D
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
M's WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FELIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happybelly - April 16, 2008
King Felix is amazing
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
FELIX HERNANDEZ OWNS YOUR SOULS, OAKLAND
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Felix in Game Over
pup - April 16, 2008
BOW DOWN TO THE KING!
Goose - April 16, 2008
black people eat chicken?
white people eat macaroni an’ cheese.
BOW DOWN BITCH!
-daniel tosh
Diatribe - April 16, 2008
WOO
JI - April 16, 2008
My fantasy team thanks you Felix.
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
FUCKIN GAME BITCHES
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
i love him
i absolutely love him
deacvision7 - April 16, 2008
Just Filthy Tonight
PLU Tim - April 16, 2008
MOST EXCELLENT
melack - April 16, 2008
Just over two hours.. wow.
seattlesundevil - April 16, 2008
I could not be more gay for him if I tried.
BHP - April 16, 2008
I SAW HIM FIRST
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
He makes my boxers tighter.
BHP - April 16, 2008
I don't wear boxers when trying to impress Felix
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Sweet..
I wish I had watched more of the game, and spent less at cupid, and less time writing on my blog…
LantermanC - April 16, 2008
I knew he could do it.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
FELIX WINS!!!!!!!!!!!
FELIX WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh yeah, M’s too
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Shit
He could’ve thrown a 10th inning if necessary. He doesn’t even look winded.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
AAAAAAAAAA
Kneel before your King bitches!
Unbelievable job, that box score is wroooooong.
OlSalty - April 16, 2008
I want to have gay sex with Felix
There, it’s been said.
cwel87 - April 16, 2008
7 pitch 9th.
Not too shabby.
TheOptimist - April 16, 2008
The A's are Felix's bitches!
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
Felix: "No JJ, Fuck the bullpen"
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
"I am my own bullpen, bitch."
Gomez - April 16, 2008
King Felix!!!
Man this guy kicks ass.
Fin - April 16, 2008
GOOD NIGHT!
phil333 - April 16, 2008
ALL HAIL
ALL HAIL
Nick S - April 16, 2008
Game over before I have to go to work.
I approve!
Goose - April 16, 2008
Fuck the box score.
that was domination
sammy - April 16, 2008
Holy fucking shit Felix is an absolute and complete badass
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
Seriously I don't even know what to say
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
This is awesome! Felix is our ace, screw hip boy Bedard
basebliman - April 16, 2008
I was going to say the same thing?
Bedard = Mr. Glass
Felix = Invincible
Fin - April 16, 2008
I've had it with these motherfucking dink singles against motherfucking Felix
dbroncos31 - April 16, 2008
If those didn't happen, he'd never give up a hit.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
I WANT TO FUCK HIM
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dbroncos31 - April 16, 2008
IT ONLY WORKS THE OTHER WAY AROUND
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
Yikes
marinator - April 16, 2008
AWESOME
melack - April 16, 2008
I wouldn't let you do this.
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
Paging EnglishMariner
Paging EnglishMariner….
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Squeaking that one by didn't work
dbroncos31 - April 16, 2008
You want Felix to make you squeak.
JI - April 16, 2008
I know he would...
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Win
dbroncos31 - April 16, 2008
That was pretty much insane
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
now let's hope the angles lose. stupid halos
MsinDC - April 16, 2008
damnit angels and angles
MsinDC - April 16, 2008
Rise Against lyrics:
My hands are soaking in the blood of angels
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Rise Against is a good band
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
Beautiful
thenatural - April 16, 2008
System of a Down had a better line:
Angels deserve to die
Gomez - April 16, 2008
If only their music wasn't terrible.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
I really wish I had gone to this game.
I’m an idiot.
melack - April 16, 2008
Go to the Oakland Coliseum?
Fin - April 16, 2008
Now finish off the Angels, KC
And holy shit people on HH were arguing for Jered over Felix
Fett42 - April 16, 2008
HH thinks HH is smart.
JI - April 16, 2008
Jered didn't do so badly today.
He wasn’t Felix, but 2 ER in 6 innings isn’t bad.
TheOptimist - April 16, 2008
The argument is still ludicrous
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Basically 3 ER. That was his own error.
redwolf75 - April 16, 2008
So I'm a little slow onto this bandwagon
but the Royals don’t look like too bad of a team.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
How that went
Oakland Batters: get up to bat
King Felix: SIT THE FUCK DOWN
McLaren: gets up to call in the bullpen
King Felix: SIT THE FUCK DOWN
Lowe: gets up to warm up
King Felix: SIT THE FUCK DOWN
Pepe: gets up to hog the post-game interview
King Felix: Whatever, I hate that scrawny bitch.
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
+1
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
dead meme
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
...says the RickRoller
JI - April 16, 2008
ooooooh
caught
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Mine was far more creative
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
You try too hard with your RickRolls
JI - April 16, 2008
I almost never Rick Roll
and Paypal’s the one who asked me for a destination link.
Jeff Sullivan - April 16, 2008
Hey, look, a Rec button!
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Still?
JI - April 16, 2008
Recco'd
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
Winner winner chicken parm
dbroncos31 - April 16, 2008
hey! I'm making some chicken parm right now.
Matthew - April 16, 2008
Can I have some?
That sounds good.
Fin - April 16, 2008
Yeah spread that shit around
dbroncos31 - April 16, 2008
Hook me up dawg.
JI - April 16, 2008
A Ray Ferraro reference
Really?
Edanger6 - April 16, 2008
Rafer Alston?
PShwa - April 16, 2008
THis was as awesome as Felix tonight
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Seriously, how many of those balls were actually hit hard? 3? 4?
BHP - April 16, 2008
If Felix had a theme song, these would be the lyrics
Behold the King, the King of Kings.
On your knees dog. All hail.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
The King grinned red as he walked from the blaze,
Where the traitor lost both his name and his face.
Through the halls and the corridors stinging in blood,
He tasted his grin and it tasted good.
The King took his head. Left him broken and dead.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
The King left none living, none able to tell.
The King took their heads and he sent them to hell.
Their screams echoed loud in the place of their death.
Ripped open they died. With their final breath.
They hailed to the King, the King of Kings.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Into the dirt, his will be done.
Now feel your fear, there can be only one.
Bow down, bow down, bow down to the …
Bow down, bow down, bow down, bow down to the …
Bow down, bow down to the…
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the …
Bow down, bow down, bow down.
The King is here, now feel your fear.
The King of Kings.
All hail, all hail the King.
On your knees, on your knees for the King.
The King of Kings, there is only one.
Goose - April 16, 2008
They should just play that song at Safeco before his every inning
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Man, you must've worked really hard on that.
Fin - April 16, 2008
Motorhead worked hard on that
Gomez - April 16, 2008
Not mine
It’s Motorhead’s King of Kings
Goose - April 16, 2008
Plagiarism!
jk, he does need a theme though.
Fin - April 16, 2008
A certain Color Me Badd song comes to mind...
thenatural - April 16, 2008
I don't want him sexing me up
Gomez - April 16, 2008
I do
I wouldn’t mind having his man-babies.
Fin - April 16, 2008
That would be a great honor
You’ll be his concubine like the rest of us, and you will like it.
OlSalty - April 16, 2008
I absolutely do
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Isn't that like, a wrestling theme?
IceStormV1 - April 16, 2008
Yeah, HHH.
But it applies because it’s a badass song.
Goose - April 16, 2008
Isn't that Triple Bitches theme song
I don’t want Triple Bitch and King Felix having anything to do with one another.
marinator - April 16, 2008
Every time I see Bill Krueger
I think of a pre-game show from last year or so, when the woman who was filling in for Angie who was exploding with babies said in reference to something:
Sub Lady Anchor: “I am the gatekeeper, are you the keymaster?”
Bill got this look on his face like he had grown a boner so huge that it was going to smash up through the news desk if he so much as sneezed
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
Most horrifyingly hilarious description ever.
BrettJMiller - April 16, 2008
HAHAHA
awesome
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Consider the rec button pressed.
JI - April 16, 2008
That is 2 for him in 10 minutes.
This man is on fire!
Wilder. - April 16, 2008
I always stare at his greasy hair
but man I wonder if anything happened between Krueger and that interim woman.
Fin - April 16, 2008
That hair is evil
Supervillain evil.
Gomez - April 16, 2008
That is pretty much the best description of Bill Krueger's creepy molester smile I've ever heard.
JLC - April 16, 2008
He got offered a speaking role on To Catch a Predator, if you know what I mean
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
Man, this guy can't stop!
You are on a roll brother.
Fin - April 16, 2008
So that's what happens when rec a comment
it turns green?
The fuck?
JI - April 16, 2008
Yeah... freaked me out the first time I saw it too
thenatural - April 16, 2008
Had Vlad Ked there
Come on!
DCMariner - April 16, 2008
Bottom of the 9th in Anaheim, Royals lead 3-2
Joakim Soria about to hear the lamentations of their women.
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
2 down
thenatural - April 16, 2008
that 3rd strike to Napoli was sick - 68mph curve? Guhhhh
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
How about THAT one?????
FUCK ME
thenatural - April 16, 2008
I'll say it again
Soria :: 2008
Putz :: 2007
The Mexican can play.
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
This is the first time I've gotten a really good look at him
that last pitch was fucking incredible…
thenatural - April 16, 2008
It's worth everyone's time to watch that last inning on MLB.tv after the game archives
Jordan of Boise - April 16, 2008
Yikes.
Glad we missed him.
ThundaPC - April 16, 2008
Soria got a huge strike zone though.
That “called strike out” to Figgins—2 were balls.
redwolf75 - April 16, 2008
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