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Lookout Landing

4/18: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Our offense is a manic depressive with extreme bi-polar issues.

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Thank you sir.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
I'm famous :)
I thought it would be appropriate
"welcome everyone!"
Ladies and gentlemen

Brett presents SNOW

Damn right you faggots I'm the mayor of snow.
Gooooooooooooo Dickey!
fuck you and your new threads
you can still tell us about your herpes chick in this thread
some girl just asked me if I would still marry her if she had herpes
and you said?
yes

She is girl #1 in my life- she’s basically my best friend. I’d do anything for her. We just haven’t had sex yet

Does she have herpes?
He'll find out soon enough
she's 400 miles away :(
Lame. Let's bring her here.
I'm bringing her to Seattle in July

for the Red Sox series

This means you have to leave Idaho.

Make sure you buy some souvenirs.

I go to school in Tacoma

I’m only in Idaho 3 months of the year

You go from one hell hole to another?

I think we now know why you drink so much.

McCall>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.western washington
What is: things that are false
What is: have you ever seen the beauty that is McCall?
What is: Napolean Dynomite
this will not end well
Big Pimpin'?

Spreadin’ your herpes.

And let's RI-I-I-I-I-IDE
Herpes:

Nature’s way of letting you know the girl’s got some experience.

oh she does

She’s a really good person but not going to deny she’s kind of a slut

Nice.
yeah she sends me texts occasionally

whining about how she hasn’t had sex in 3 weeks and how that’s so long for her

Again, Nice.

Too bad you can’t be there when she is texting about that, eh?

yeah no kidding
I'm hoping to make her my hookup over the summer

but she is way too hot for me

It’s torture sometimes

You shouldn't actually tell yourself that

Or you won’t have the confidence to hook up. I suggest, just say your older bro pitches for the Mariners. There you go.

yeah except my older bro also lives in McCall :|

and she’s way way out of my league if you saw her you’d know what I mean. She’s like an 11 on a 1 to 10 scale

and I'm like a 5
Cousin once removed?

Say he hooked you up with tickets, if he is still on the roster by July. I am just trying to help dude. O yea, and My buddy Jack Daniels could help you with getting with her too.

that's a good idea

except I’ve already talked to her about Roy Corcoran and told her we’re not related

she pretty much knows everything about me

we talk an average of 3 times a day

3 times a day?

Time to drop that bitch.

why? like I said she's an 11

and has hinted at wanting to have sex with me

You don’t drop that

Like it's hot.
Why is this subthread happening?

You’ll never get any from her and you’ll get used to it quick.

I've been used to it for 3 years :(
Your call.

But 15 years from now, you will be wishing you hadn’t.

Pics???
girl on the LEFT

here

Our left or stage left?
our left

IE not the fat blackish chick

We call those "latinas"
Or Native Americans.
She doesn't look depressed, unemployed
Or cashes her $25,000 check every January 1.
I will refrain from any sarcasm.

I will refrain from any sarcasm. I will refrain from any sarcasm. I will refrain from any sarcasm. I will refrain from any sarcasm.

The one on the right is a real hottie

But I think you put that hoe on a pedestal, maybe a 8, or 9 max.

i would not touch that with a 12 foot pole
8 or 9 is still really high
She's okay.
what is she on a 1 to 10 scale

be honest because if she’s not an 11 that’s really good news for me

I find her a 6.5-7

But I’m not the best person to ask. And I think 6.5 to 7 is still a compliment, not an insult.

dman
?

I think you’re okay.

clearly

That's you?

She’s in your league.

really?

rock on

I’m the dude by the way not the girl

I thought you were a virgin?

That is visual evidence that you are not.

I never tapped that
Why is she bent over and the two of you are smiling?
she's drunk
and you didn't tap that?
she didn't want me
The girl is hotter
She's in your league.

I think you’re pedastaling (sp?) her.

hmmm

OK

You don't want to be?
no I do

I’d do anything to that girl

I'd do anythign TO her

WHOOOOAAAAA

K, see? Good.

Yeah, you probably see her more attractive than she is. I think you’re fine.

If you want me to put in a good word…

I have to agree with Lib

But the girl in the ASU pic is hotter.

yes, but she doesn't want me
Yeah thats who I was talking about

but I’m getting lost in this subthread not indenting anymore

yeah dude
Tell me to do that when you're not drunk

and I will.

I would do anything to her sober
I don't understand this comment.
him sober, her whatever
Maybe I don't understand what he meant by "Yeah, Dude."
they have the exact same shirts for ASU football by the way
I wore that to the

ASU-Cal game

at ASU

I was in Phoenix

that makes sense

I thought maybe it was just a template for a bunch of different schools

You look nothing like roy corco.
that girl is way hotter

and seems like way more fun

oh she's awesome

but I see her but twice a year

Librocrat is right

She isn’t that untouchable like you made it out to be, you have a chance, especially since she’s a slut.

She is good looking

But not like kiera knightly hot.

damn then she's out of my league
Now there is an 11 on the 1-10 scale.
What, you mean 12-year-old boy hot?
I should add - consider that a positive reveiw from me.
I'm not sure- this is the first I've heard of it

I’d assume not

did she specify which herpes

because we pretty much all have herpes

true

I have HPV in my hands

also, chicken pox is herpes
and basically 100% of people have Epstein-Barr
Is that the wave I hear?
Who was Kenji yelling at?
Your mom oooooooohhhhhh
Ooooo I've been served!
It's on!

dont tell my heart

my achy breaky heart

So is Jeff going out drinking tonight?
Probably just watching hockey
Sadly no

I didn’t even get to go to BevMo to re-stock.

So is there a way we can just make donations in the form of beer delivery

that would probably be more useful, and I would give more to that fund

I am intrigued by your ideas

Seriously though, I don’t know why there isn’t a beer delivery service yet.

my beer distributor in philly would deliver...
If I had my druthers

I’d be rich enough to leave my job and set up a burger/beer/nachos delivery chain.

to dream the impossible dream
may I suggest adding burritos to that list?
Absolutely yes

90% of my deliveries would be to me.

seems like a sound business strategy to me

where do I invest?

In a large manila envelope

I’ll be honest, I haven’t thought this through very thoroughly.

the LL community is very willing to give...

I wouldn’t put them off with statements like that (although it may not matter)

Dickey looks awesome in slo-mo.
He knows how the ladies like it.
I love that Dickey has an angry pitching face when he's

playing glorified short toss

It helps with the deception.
Damn

like the Wiki said, when a ball is hit right at Richie’s manpouch, he’s good.

I definitely love me some dick
Suddenly I understand the picture.
how long before Robert puts that pic up on craigslist m4m?
"Loves to be phone jihaded"
WTF

I GOT A TEXT LAST NIGHT AT 1:26 AM FROM SOME RANDOM NUMBER

THAT SAID

“phone jihad!”

it's a 206 8****88 number

is that Robert?

Okay,

So Joe Saunders is not that good. Can we beat him up now?

Need more runs.
Two feet to Richie's right and that scores a run
There was a hitter in 1921 and 1925 named

Astyanax Douglass

FYI

He's no Pebbly Jack Glasscock
or a Johnny Dickshot
you're a swing whore Yuni
Swing less, DAMMIT!
Yuni

He’s Vladimir Guerrero without the contact.

This is so fucking pathetic...

Joe Sanders is apparently the new Pedro Martinez for the M’s.

*Except Pedro had serious talent, this ass clown does not
it's not like we're K'ing against him

we’re just not getting hits.

I was just talking about the complete ownage
I'd call it Luck powning us
Ichiro I would greatly appreciate it

if you hit a funk blast right now.

That'll work, though.
Ichiro is hella awesome.
God I loathe that word
IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS
He was out. I'll take it.
Tie goes to the runner
Wow

Mike Reilly gave us a call.

So I was just looking up some info on Rex Hudler

He’s a professional motivational speaker which is hilarious in itself but then this, which I didn’t know:

He was suspended briefly from his broadcast job in 2003 after being arrested at Kansas City International Airport for possession of cannabis and medical paraphernalia.
what is medical paraphernalia?
Yeah i have no clue

Its wikipedia so who knows about the validity anyways, but I’m sure theres some truth to it

Needles, gauze, an HPLC...
I would love it if the story was that Rex got caught trying to shoot up marijuana
he was carrying an HPLC through the airport?

what a weird dude

Unfortunately guard columns have to be checked in
So apparently he'll be having a nice 4/20 as well.
What was he doing hitting that garbage?
CONOR JACKON JUST GAVE UP THE CYCLE

AND HIT A TRIPLE!

WHY COJACK WHY?

Wait, so he has a HR and two triples today?
A HR, a single, and two triples.
Because Dan Haren's kicking ass today.
the cycle is stupid.
I agree. Its a nice thing if it comes naturally, but I wouldn't stop at 2nd just to get it

I think you get some free shit, but these guys can afford whatever they get anyways…

I don't know, I'd like to be able to say I hit for the cycle off of Greg Maddux

I would of stopped at 2nd.

That's just irritating.
You've been Ichipwned.
Oh what the FUCK!?
Awww...BULLCRAP!!
annnnnnnnnnnd game off...later fellas
You give up in a 3-1 game?

Man, you have no patience.

Have you seen our offense?
It's a 2 run deficit.

Not exactly K2 even for our offense.

esp with the Angels pen the way it's been
I remember 2005

This game strongly resembles one of those games.

ghey

This gets funnier and funnier.
Funnier still that Tony S just created a username today
i've lurked too long

i had to finally join

Needs a caption:

Something like.

”...Ladies.”

SNOWNED
HAHAHAHAH

Maybe we’ll save this idea for another thread.

I endorse this idea
Tony S = my new favorite member
Attack of the bullshit
What the fuck are you applauding, Anaheim?

Good fortune?

FUCK THE FUCKING WORLD AND ALL THE FUCKERS IN IT!
Again, looking like a typical Lopez AB

I notice Last Fan of Jose Lopez is never around when Lopez sucks.

That was a great swing.

Just unfortunate.

To be fair to Lopez, that's really bad luck.

He hit the ball pretty hard.

But he's 0-3 tonight, with 2 grounders.
Yuni Woooooo!
Yuni is very assertive
*Sigh*

A lineout for a lineout, I see.

Fuck Torii Hunter.

And his unnecessary i

ugh...

making the Torii signing look good = fucking lame

The signing still looks bad.
So Torii needs to share whatever his secret for hitting Dickey is.
Wait for the fastball?
he loves to hit that dick

he’s been beatin it up all night

Torii Hunter is a horseshit bullshit player
OH FUCKING HELL
Richie sucks so fucking hard.
Lopez traversed like 3 times the distance

And Lopez is a friggin’ midget

FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK
Nice throw Willie.
Pussy single FTL.
Should've pitched to Kotchman
Damn you Richie
Fuck you Richie
fuck you richie
god diddily damn
I would have bet yout a lot of money that was going ot happen
Yout would have lost the bet.
you should have predicted it then

that way it never would have happened.

Well

chalk this up as the only start Squinty gives Dickey.

If R.A. is the man, then the M's defense is fucking the man
They're sticking it to the man.

you really need to post smaller pictures
I just copied from a website.

Sorry.

Izturis did something useful?!
Did anyone else notice that on that dive

the ball didn’t get past Richie’s glove but instead went under his forearm? He dove past the ball?

I've stopped caring

Unless the ball is hit slowly and right between his legs, Richie is incapable of picking up a groundball.

Game over.
This game is eating shit and dying
This is all Richie's fault.
I predict a home run
damn

and he was cruising too. unfortunate.

Such is the plight of the knuckler
Dickey's knucklers are just getting annihilated
Damnit you Dickey.
Dickey is getting hosed.
Does anyone else here hate baseball?
I hate loathe and despise baseball.
I still hate Sexson

I refuse to believe he’s created more runs with the bat than he’s cost us with the glove this year.

Yeah, he really should have gotten

that Izturis single. That’s 1 run.

Led to two, would've been the last out.
True. Forgot Napoli came after.
I feel like we're getting Dick Roll'd
K

Good work, Dickey.

Not good enough to keep him in the rotation, I fear.

We’ll see Baek in five days.

yeah, but Dickey's older, so Mac'll give him another chance.

Go Vetrins!

The fake to third fake to first move didn't work?

C’mon, R.A.!

Fuck this game.
Fuck Earth Day
So...what did I mi--you know what, never mind.
boooooooooo
Fuck.

Screw this.

Fuck fake jumping.
Oh eat a dick, Son of Sarge
ahhh, fuck this game
Beltre's got a bad wheel?
Hammy issue from last week.
THAT'S RIGHT SARGE JR EAT IT
So we get all the rest of the breaks on Saturday and Sunday, right?
WE BETTER

God if they lose again when I’m there… look for homicides in the LA times on Monday morning

Aww...bloody hell.

Yet another reason I despise the Angels.
I liked that movie as a kid too.

Damnit.

Do they play the M's in that movie?

Its been so long since I’ve seen it.

LL MOVIE NIGHT!!
I dont think so

I think the white sox are the main antagonists for some reason…

Griffey and RJ make an appearance in Little Big League tho

GREATEST END TO ANY MOVIE EVER
Randy Johnson had a cameo in Little Big League

It had the most major leaguers, and the best strategy of the 90s kids-in-MLB movies

And the right team won, of course
I dont think so

I think the white sox are the main antagonists for some reason…

Griffey and RJ make an appearance in Little Big League tho

God doesn't understand sarcasm.
That's the only way Bloomquist would've been able to catch a ball hit that deep.
And fuck that movie for killing Tony Danza.
Just because they name themselves the "angels" they get divine help.

Why don’t we get invisible fishermen harpooning our enemies for us?

because baseball is played on dry land
Note to self: invent aquatic baseball.
Why don't the Redskins get devine help?
GIVE ME BONDS NOW
WTF ANGELS SUCK
Holy crap that was hilarious.
ahhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahaha
NICE WORK SARGE
Who is Sims doctor?
Yay

Vidro fights pussy with pussy!

Defense wins things
Glad Beltre was at 2B.
Those hits are sustainable
I detect sarcasm.
I would be more intrigued

if it were still 3-1

I would be way more estastic

if it had just been 3-1

Let's get real sexy.
RICHIE SECOND FUNK BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would like to put some pintar on that chick.
Hypothesis:

Saunders throws too slowly to own.

Hypothesis disproved
Richies bat is so naturally slow, he is well equipped to hit Saunders
RICHIE!@@@@@@@@@@@@$#@#
RICHIE FUNK BLAST NUMBER TWO
GET THE FUNK OUT RICHIE SEXSON
FUNK BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sexson sure can't field...
without Sexson, the score would be 1-0 Angels

Today, richie takes 4 runs forward, 1 run back.

kjsfjksfsdgndsjmg
kjsfjksfsdgndsjmg
RICHIE SEXSON LIVES TONIGHT

FUCK YES RICHIE!!!!!!!!
I LOVE IT WHEN I GET TO USE TWO DIFFERENT FB PICS

RICHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was so gone off the bat too

DAMN

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =O
Perfectly within range for a F-Rod blwon save.
Sexson says:

FUCK YOU BRETT.

He's +2 overall tonight >:(

Sorry thought I resized it
Jeeez
I run my computer in 1920 x 1200
What an awesome game!!!11!
I LIKE THESE THREE RUN HOMERS
Starting to un-hate Richie...
Gregg Maddux made it through 7. Gave up 9 runs

I salute you Greg.

Probably by 22 inning excuse, I assume.
dang, I'm soooo glad somone else just picked him up in my fantasy league
Joh makes another out

Clement hits #4 tonight for the Rainiers.

ugggh.

Well at least Kenji got it out of the infield...
DAMN'T KENJI

FREE CLEMENT

IN 2009!
I agree with this.
IN NOW
FREE ROB JOHNSON
FREE PAT BORDERS
FREE TRAVIS SCOTT
INTO THE WILD
OF SAFECO FIELD WHERE HE WILL CATCH EVERYDAY AND PWN11!!
But according to Emile Hirsch he will then end up dead in a bus
and Eddie Vedder will score the biopic
FREE HIM WHEN WE CAN CATCH EVERYDAY

OR WHEN ADAM MOORE IS READY, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST

1-2, HR, BB tonight
Clement:Mariners:Mauer:Twins

Did I do that right?

I thought Defense wins Championships...

Let’s pay attention to our fat anti-Ortiz DH, eh?

Wonderful unselective memory of Johjima we have.
Well nothing but suckage to start a year is hard to ignore
What have done for me lately.
EDDIE!

I wast half.

He's had a good week.

Kenji’s OPS on 4/10: .205
Kenji’s OPS before tonight: .582

I'm more of a

“what have you done for me lately,” type of person. And he’s done jack shit.

dammit

why isn’t wilkerson playing?

Shawn Fanning as pitchman?

Makes less sense than Bobby Knight.

Sean Green working to detach that arm of his
You better not fuck this up Green.
fuck up what? we're losing

to a team with a good pen. And our offense is sulking today

I *had* a good feeling about the top of the 8th.
I like that connotation:

Just get out there and hit the fucking ball!

Yeah, well…maybe I don’t wanna.

Ah dammit Green.
Green is not awesome anymore.
wouldn't you want to hit chone?
Green is overworked
Green?

Really?

and is MLB.tv that far behind?

Why is Green pitching again?
Who would you bring in at this point

Baek
Lowe
Morrow
RRS
Rhodes
Corcoran

Green accomplishes every M's fan's dream by hitting Figgins
It's Time To Call Up Reitsma
He is gone

Joe Woerman and Jon Huber, however, are ready to go.

Rhodes warming up
Oh good god Rhodes warming up
Squinty has just punted the game.
Nobody told Richie
OH YES ARTHUR RHODES THIS A FANTASTIC IDEA
Rhodes is warming up

Yea, good idea.

Time for HGH and Loafie to resume their hookups
Why does McLaren like throwing games against the Angels?
WOOO ANGEL FAN HURT!

I think.

Sarge just killed a fan
I didn't think I could like him any more than after his 3 GIDP game but...
yeah, use Green against LH hitters...
K
Good result != good idea.
Yo fuck that probability vs certainty bullshit
God damn shitload of switch-hitters
K

More of those, please.

Why the hell is Green in

when 3 of the first 5 hitters he’ll face are left handed?

Chone, HGH, Vlad, Torii all RHBs or switch hitters.
Well they'll bat LH vs. Green

and Green struggles with lefties

so why use him??

Whoa, Gary, I'm so embarrassed for you
Fuck you roid jr.
SO Mac can platoon Wilkerson who hits lefties just fine

but he can’t figure out not to use Green vs. lefties? WTF

lets get a double play

DUDE!

Green Kd a lefty hitter! and a rally monkey goes down in the process!
best outing by a mariner reliever so far

And where is Hyphen??
Sean Green had better get DP here
Jackon's GIDP's in his last AB. No cycle.
HOLY SHIT
Missed the face. Raffy still not avenged.
Um... Shit.
to be fair, Vlad did duck into it a little.
Last time we did that was bad
Was that Campillo who tried to hit Vlad?

Bastard deserved to be taken out of the park.

Vlad deserves to be hit in the face for his Raffy adventures.
I was at that game.

I thought I was going to throw up after that ball hit Raffy.

Yeah because he really did that on purpose.
Vlad doesn't deserve anything bad.

Vlad is impossibly awesome.

Wow,

Vlad hit the ball twice on one pitch.

Amazing!

Vlad just turned all the way around on that swing
Fuck.

Stop doing that.

Well it should've hit him in the ribs...he just ducked
Yeah like that was reraliation

whatever

OK you know what sucks?

THERE’S NO GUILLEN FOR THE FIGHT THATS COMING

Do that less

also Vlad totally ducked into it
also shit shit shit Rhodes in in a high leverage situation

someone is getting tossed from this game
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So Ichiro's pretty much guaranteed to get hit this series
dammit

my kid’s asleep and I’m on gameday. What’s up and where’s ellison when we need him?

Green hit Vlad in the Helmet.

Juuuust missed.

figured that much out

but anyone get tossed? any slap-fights?

Green was tossed by Mac.
According to evolution, people who duck their heads into baseballs shouldn't exist
genetic drift-

the allele still pops up here and again

To hell with natural variation
In ten million years that will be the case
I really wish he didnt

wow… Rex with some sensibility, I’m surprised

Author Rhodes in

Oh dear.

Sims already all over the whole “veterans” thing.

Hopefully he can write the book on how to finish an inning

....sorry.

Yuni's getting pelted next inning.
at least that means he'll get on base
either that or triples.
Rhodes in, game over

:( :( :(

veteran = better!

Thanks guys!

He was on the M's in 2001!

He’s seen the wars!

And uh...lost them.
You know what's really weird?

The two relievers who have experience the biggest drop between last year and this year have been the guys who pitch EVERY FUCKING DAY

Who’da thunk it??!

So RRS went on a Meth bender

and woke up in Oakland?

Bean Vidro in retaliation.
saunders doesn't want to ball to bounce back and hit him
Vidro is more dense, viscous mass than rubber.
He's made of flubber

that’s how he gets all the IF singles.

i’m getting 2001 flashbacks..

Rhodes hasn't pitched since 06

this is a recipe for success

Uhhh...a few nights ago he did...poorly...
THat's what Rex just said, sorry

repeating for emphasis on “this isn’t a good thing”

This has impending disaster all the fuck over it
I sense an second out first

then disaster

Where the fuck is Hyphen!?
Don't Worry...

Rhodes is Pitching Like It’s 1999

He was dreaming when he threw this

Forgive him if it’s taken deep.

Rhodes sucked in 1999.
God bless GA's slow bat
OMG SIMS SAID WARZ
Sims has been saying wars all year long.

I have heard it a few dozen times already.

VETERAN OF WARS!
TOUR OF DUTY

VETERAN

WARS

trifecta!

Yea, Dave Sims just went there

“Author Rhodes, a veteran of many wars.”

Where's Robert?

Someone hide his furniture and pad his wall. Duct tape and a straightjacket might be in order, too…

STFU SIMS YOU WAR SUPPORTER, YOU

jonny mac

at least our manager is showing confidence in our bullpen?

Physioc made reference to our statistics

then just said 339 without referencing any sort of metric

3.39 era?

what other statistic do you NEED to evaluate pitching

since that’s obviously not wins, the only other stat is ERA

You're absolutely right

I’m such a seamhead sometimes… I guess I need to get out of my momm’s basement and see the forest for the trees

impressive

I’m actually pretty impressed with Rhodes… at this second. We’ll see

hmmm

I miss the big diamond earrings

why's everyone upset over Rhodes?

I mean, unless there are four HBP in the next inning we’re pretty much not coming back to get this one and may as well save the good arms for the next two days.

residual anger
ah

hell hath no fury like a fanbase scorned

Pattern of asshattery.
You forget that K-Rod sucks now.
RHODES K!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES GARRET GETS HIMSELF OUT
i love fsn slow mo

nice facial expression, arthur

yeah

Was he knifing or pitching to Garret?

Okay that slo mo of Arthur Lee's face is hilarious
Cha Smiley's is no different
Yeah I LOOOOve this new site...

That reply was to Matthew’s comment. It’s probably funnier here though.

//fucking HATES this new site

If K Rod comes into the game

I think we may have a shot.

JEEZ none of those pitches were even close to the zone
Leaving him in for Hunter.

Bad.

BUT HES 3 FOR 3 HE DUE
can we never again use slo-mo

to watch a pitcher’s face?

except Dickey.

BRING IN ROY
so yeah,

this is right on pace for what I predicted.

Disaster in t-minus 5…

Arthur Rhodes' Battalion in attendance

Too white
They're just exciting to be seeing this new "integrated" league they've been hearing so much

about.

I can't stop laughing at the guy yelling in the middle with his hands raised.
it looks like hes giving the finger
and the shocker in the other hand

now that I look closer

FLASHBACK!! AHHH, THROW THE GRENADE!!
That's all of us in 50 years.
This is a bad idea
NO!

RHODES PITCHING TO RIGHTHANDER BAD!

danger danger AWOOGA AWOOGA
Resign him

RIGHT NOW.

BELTRE OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOYL FUCK BALLS
Rhodes Is Like Cairo...except for pitchers

They are veterans and speak more than one language

Thank god for Adrian Beltre!!!

FUCK YES

...........................

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE HOW THE HELL CAN YOU MAKE THE WRONG GOD DAMN DECISION EVERY FUCKING TIME WITH YOUR GOD DAMN BULLPEN GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NEEDS MORE BOLD
ADRIAN BELTRE IS SO AWESOME
BELTRE IS MY GOD
King What?
King FUCKING AWESOME!
King Motherfuck you and your stupid fucking contract Torii, go fuck yourself you piece of shit
That title's a bit long
Meh... I like it

I’m pretty biased though

Juan Carlos I of Spain heartily endorses Adrian Beltre's defensive feats?
That's it

Beltre better retire a M

THANK YOU KING AWESOME!!!

Fuck you McSquinty.

HAVE MY BABIES BELTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Thank God for you
BELTRE IS LOVE

WAY TO SAVE MCASSHOLES ASS

HNAHAHAHAHA SUCK ON THAT YOU ASSHOLES

WATCH A REAL THIRD BASEMAN PLAY THE GAME LIKE A P.I. M. P.

Amazing

Does anyone else thing there’s been a giant leap forward in Beltre’s defense this year?

No. Same old Beltre.
He's been this awesome at the corner since day one
Hmmmm....

I actually kind of disagree. I don’t think he was as good as he is now when we first signed him. I think he’s always been amazing down the line, but I think his left-side defense has vastly improved.

Glad the Berlin Wall moved to 3B.
/reagan

Mr Awesome, TAKE DOWN THIS WALL.
ketchup is a vegetable.
I like kittens.
/reagan

Inaccurate.

It’s been historically proven that Reagan actually ate kittens for breakfast every morning…then took a nap.

So I left.....

at 5-1 for some hot wife impregnation action and when I return it was 5-4.

What happened? I’ll trade details for details….

Richie Funk Blast #2

That is all.

scroll up to the flashing lights
Uh.... (checking to see last post of PLU Tim)
Same Shit, Different Pile

Both Dickeys Got Wet

Sex went deep and drove in some runs

Your wife and M’s fans are still unsatisfied

hahaha...

sounds pretty accurate.

hahaha I had to rec this
That timeline only covers 30 seconds of the inning.
Man, that was a great decision by Squity to leave Rhodes in

because we got out of the inning!!!

BELTRE

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Wow, I leave

for 30 minutes and things get much more tense. 0_o

Ah, so your the hit wife PLU Tim is impregnating eh?
hot wife that is
I'll bet you...

my last 30 minutes >>>>>> your last 30 minutes.

you gotta work for more than 30' to

hit the mark son

Not if you do it right.
'Bust' my ass he was worth every fucking dollar
All but one of them

we should have given him 5yrs/$64,999,999

Seriously

I hate when casual fans bitch and moan about Beltre’s contract, but then don’t mention anything about the crappy overpaid backend of the rotation, or our not very DH-like DH.

Why, bust my ass, you're right!
This is good and bad

bad because now Squinty thinks he can his precious veteran garbage out all the time and get away with it.

RESIGN HIM NOW!
Right there is 2+

potential Angel runs. defense ftw!

Take heed Sexson.

I now officially really want to win this game
And now our offense loses the game.

Fuck.

Lopey glared.
What is that... uh... Yoga?
Physioc does yoga?

Hudler says “downward facing Dog”... I cringe

Lopez working the count is awesome.
And now....

I am enjoying a Deschutes Black Butte Porter…..refreshing.

Your night has been better than my night
Saunders is still in the game

Has Scoiscia been watching the same game we’ve been watching?

Ms with positive WE contributions tonight:

Sexson, Rhodes, end of list

The two you'd least expect to huh?
Beltre?

Maybe?

File that under 'things not happening again this year'
WTF kind of inning was that

It’s like they have no concept of that there is ONE inning left for them.

Looking forward to testing K-Rod's ankles.
Aaaaaaaaaand.

We just let Joe Saunders pitch 8 innings.

meh,

they put everything in play. it found gloves.

Yea....that too.
they made a lot of bad contact

early in the count and didn;t make Saunders work to find the zone

He was exceedingly mediocre
Sean Green's birthday: 4/20/1979

I say this because so far he’s the only M’s pitcher under 30 tonight.
Hooray for the VFW.

So

sexson homer for the go ahead?

I wouldn't count on it.
PLU Tim needs to get back to work.
Naw....

I tossed her a towel and some fresh batteries. She’s fine without me for the rest of the night.

Oh jeez....

Too much information.

So do we hit K-Rod tonight?
Not if Saunders goes nine
100 pitches

That may be all for him.

Maybe they'll send gay boy Saunders out again.
gay boy?

At least have some class and make a VT murder rampage joke.

Do it for me.
Mighty suspicious that with all the death, Saunders managed to survive
Like this

hahahahahahahaha
Maybe they'll send Saunders out

damn... too late and no photoshop
That's the best one yet.
I guess Occam's Razor is definitely at work
Brutal...

El-Em-Ey-Oh!

Nope.

Since he’s facing the Mariners, he miraculously regains form and thus is able to haunt us the rest of the season.

meh

they may as well send Saunders out for the ninth

Also

The book on K-Rod should be to never swing until you get a 2 strike count. K-Rod sucks at the strike zone.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TAKE MACS FAVORITE TOY AWAY BEFORE HE KILLS US ALL
Bring in Corcoran.
but this lineup is like a 11

and Corco is like a 6

really?

young bum over old bum?

bum = ass?
Rhodes has a really floppy slow-motion face
I cracked up watching his eyes slooooowly open really wide
That's what she...

Oh.. FACE.

Well, Lowe's not the worst thing in the world
Nope, that's Reggie Willits
That's apartheid
Ashlee Simpson begs to differ
Apartheid via Ashlee Simpson
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Oh God No

Wont Someone PLEASE Think of the Children

The children are dead

apartheid

Oh no

Raul must have had something to do with this

A friend asked me what to write about for his Social Justice paper.

My response, as always, was “abortion-apartheid.”

Looks like somebody reminded

Izturis he’s fighting for a starting job.

With who? Gimpy Kendrick?
Sean Rodriguez was just called up

So Kendrick might be DLed

vaginosis again?
Woo Mark Lowe...
"I Think Mark Lowe Is Cute"....

So what if I do? :(
I have no homoerotic photo evidence...

but I agree

Man Brett is getting hammered

like I’m hammering his fantasy team this week lololololol

Did Corco go drunk dial that girl?
she drunk dialed me

and asked me if I’d marry her if she had herpes

I meant now.

You’ve been absent.

no i'll do that when I'm on beer 15
Ask her if she'd marry you if you had no liver.
He's been calling the department of homeland security.
You know who asks those questions?

People with herpes.

I really like the fuzziness.

Sets the mood.

soft focus
Paired best with sensual sax...

As if there’s any other kind! Am I right?

That was intentional.
You sly dog, you
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LAWL LAWL

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Okay, that was funny
Lesson of this story, don't post your picture on the internet.
We can all hope

lesson not learned

I feel the smallest silver of guilt

but then I look at the picture again

I reccomend this FanPost
whoever is telling me to phone jihad

can fuck off

Dirka dirka.
That comment by Hudler just made Graham angry
Uh oh, what happened?
Mechanical analysis
Best changeup of the season right there
Jeff do you get FSN west?
Yeah but I'm watching on MLB.tv anyway
But you could know the outcome way sooner!
Yeah, my FSN west is blacked out so I was wondering if you have that same problem
He got fucking owned on that pitch
Kenji got owned on that throw
this game just feels like we should win doesn't it?
Jessica Alba has herpes...

would that stop you?

Have you been listening to KJR?
no.

never. nothing would stop me when it comes to Jessica Alba. shes perfect. even preggers.

Yes. I have issues with sleeping with the mildly retarded, anyway.
BAM

IN ANY LANGAUGE THAT’S A FUCKING K

That was sick.
Uh...

What just happened?

Worst throw to 2nd ever

after one of the better K’s we’ve seen tonight

Nice throw, Kenji.
That throw was made of fail
Come on...get a guy on for Richie
I can't believe I just said that
Why did they need to throw to first?

Runner started on 1B and Johjima dropped it on the transfer.

Okay... We're relying on Richie...
Please win Mariners.
Okay, nobody is allowed to post until the top of the 9th is over.
God I wish Bonds was comig up 3rd
>:( >:( >:( >:(
We need a new thread.
Meh, too close to the end.

If the Mariners score, then yeah.

All I want is a single funk blast.
This should be an infuriating 9th
that hasn't been a strike all game

lame

Break Frankie's Kankles
one more solid hit Raul

except this time clear the fence.

k, thx. bye.

Check his cap
wtf that was ball q
ball 1. ahaha
Good Jesus Raul
This is what it's all about

relying on Richie Sexson

let’s hope we get there

There goes our best chance
Raul had a chance to go for the ankles, there...
someone get Bonds on the phone
BARRY BONDS HAS NO PHONE
TELEPHONE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BARRY BONDS
POINT TAKEN
Bonds communicates by brainwaves

Bonds hates country music?
Like any good American
FUCK THAT DUDE

REAL AMERICANS LOVE COUNTRY

Shut up and go not have sex
Real Americans don't voluntarily bind themselves to

entirely preconceived and abitrary cultural labels.

THIS IS OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR COUNTRY
I forgot that movie existed.
RICHMOND LOCKWOOD SEXSON!
Come on King Awesome.
Beltre has no prayer in this AB
K-Rod is totally made for killing Adrian.
DON'T SWING UNTIL THE UMP CALLS STRIKE 2
Is Frankie really throwing

94 mph?

Please don
't bring up Sherrill =(
Y'know what would make this perfect?

Adrian Beltre funk blast

Mariners

Not a single leadoff man on in this game.

Fascinating.

that was unbelievable
So???

Bendy or straight pitch?

K-Rod threw over 20 pitches yesterday.

Just walk around the bases.

BELTRE'D BITCHEZ
Great, professional hitter Jose Vidro is up.
YES BELTRE

DO NOT FUCK THIS UP TURBO

Wow

Now TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE VIDRO

Try me, Vidro

GIDP and I’ll run you over with my car.

Your car will be decimated.
Beltre's swing gets my motor running
(he gives me a hard-on)
How did Adrian lay off three straight sliders?

How? I’m… befuddled.

As at bats that ended in singles go

that was among the best ever.

They were only low

Not away

They were pretty far away
Holy shit he's held up on three straight

HOLY SHIT AND HE GOT A BASE HIT ON 3-2.

I seriously can’t believe I just witnessed that.

good fucking at bat beltre
Pinch hit Norton
NO DOUBLE PLAY

YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT

Meet our GIDP specialist

Can you be a professional hitter and still GIDP as much as Vidro?

KING AWESOME GREAT AT BAT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Would you PR for Adrian here with his bad hammy?
TAKE!

TAKETAKETAKETAKETAKE!

TAKE WALKS DON'T SWING YOU OBESE TOAD KING
Oh good.

Nail-biting time.

FUCK YOU VIDRO YOU NONHOMOSEXUAL BASTARD
And it all comes down to Big Richie.

Depressing.

Oh god, it comes down to Richie
Shit....

I thought that was in the gap

Well

I thought that was a gapper. :(

I hate Vidro.
a hitter with power pulvarizes that pitch

like, you know, Bonds

I get the feeling you like this "Bonds" fellow.
Okay at least it was only one out
Why does anyone ever swing at K-Rod's crap?
Fuck you Turbo.
WHY THE FUCK DO WE HIT VIDRO 5TH????????????/
Why is Vidro on the fucking team?
AN EVEN BETTER QUESTION
COME ON RICHIE!!!!

I’ve never wanted something as bad as I want this

You need to meet more women
Women, I do ok with...

Richie Sexson go ahead homeruns… not so much

Richie let you taste it...
3rd FB for richie please

pretty please.

with a cherry on top.

SEXSON MUST DEFY STATISTICS
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkk

FUCK YOU HUNTER!
OMFG

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Worst game ever
Ooooook

Fuck my life.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCK YOU TORRE HUNTER
Oh. My. Fucking. God
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL EVER!!!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

I WILL KILL MANY MANY PEOPLE!!!!!!!OUE

gho2u

Thats ONE way to go out
Worst game ever....I'm very unhappy
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

.

WORST ENDING EVER
NNNNOOOOOJWAPOR UJAOSUJAUJRJUIO

FUCKFUC UAFUCKFUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUICK YOU I HATE YOU HUNTER YOU ARE FOREVER ON MY SHITLIST

That makes me sick

Hunter didn’t even have to jump. That was in the park.

I AM GOING TO BPUNCH THE ANGELS IN THIR COLLECTIVE FACE
FUCK YOU TORRI HUNTER

FUCK YOU IN YOUR EXTRA I ASS!!!

I usually just lurk on these...

but Jesus fucking Christ I hate the fucking Angels.

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
FUCK TORRIF UCKING HUNTER AND HIS FUCKING CHILD MOLESTING FUCKING ASS
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

MEEEEEEEEEE

INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

BOTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

ASSSSSHOLESSS FUCK FUCK FUCK

you have two?
What? You don't?
Yes. fucking torii ripped me a new one.
CORCOS ARE INNOCENT
FUCK AMERICA.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CANADIAN/TOWELHEAD/JAP/NAZI/FRENCHIE
/WETBACK
Well, this is amusing.
I just vomited all over my mouth

Fuck that shit.

Damn.

Can’t ask anything more from Sexson tonight.

I WANT TO EAT A PUPPY
FUCK PUPPIES.

I WANT TO EAT A BABY

Yeah. Fuck That.
wasn't supposed to be a reply

Fail

We got Kenny Lofton'd.
FUCK SHIT ASSP ISS CUNT
holy shit bals
SO FUCKIGN CLOSE

SUCK FUCKING DICK TORII FUCK YOU YOU FUCKIGN MOTHERFUCKER

But totally worth the admission.

Good game.

Did Hunter just fucking ROB

Sexson?! O_O

I WOULD KILL YOUR FAMILY
I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE
On my Tombstone, I want

“Torii Hunter = TOTALLY WORTH THE MONEY”

...and cheese.

ENJOY 2011
Run away and never return
Die in a fire you miserable fuck bag.
I liked you

until now…

Admittedly,

that last one was probably pushing it. I apologize.

I still dont mind you that much

I dunno if thats leaving the yard anyways

GTE. Take nothing we say seriously.
Well, the Tombstone comment proves

I’m not immune to GTE either. :/

Hahaha Funny

Fuck you

WATCH YOURSELF
Fuck I'm going to be charged with murder tonight
wow

i am fucking depressed now.

and i have to wake up a 6am EST. fuck me.

That was a fucking cockpunch
AGAIN

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU IN THE ASS YOU FUCKING CUNT!

So I'm sufficently fucking pissed.
Wow,

that was beyond a cockpunch.

TORII HUNTER COMMITS ARSON AND RAPES SMALL INNOCENT CHILDREN JUST FOR GIGGLES
I hate all...
ARGHHHHH

THAT WAS DEVASTATING

torii hunter molests collies
Im scared of myself right now
It's been a long time since a Mariner loss hurt that bad
RICHIEEEEEE

IF THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A HOME RUN, ID HAVE GIVEN YOU A WHOLE FUCKIGN MONTH FRE PASS. FUCK GRAMMAR AND SPWELLING

I'm numb and empty
DIE IN A FIRE YOU FUCKER!
THANKS MARINERS LIVE THIS IS THE PART OF THE GAME I WANT TO RELIVE

SHOW ME MORE I CAN’T GET ENOUGH

The Ending Of This Game

was like end of the movie “The Crying Game”

...
...

I am going to be a safety on an M16/M9 range tomorrow

This is very unsafe as of right now.

All I have to say is

FUCK TORII HUNTER.

Jeff...please

don’t put up a post-game thread. let it go away forever

Agreed.

No post game thread. Please for the love of God let it die.

Double Agree'D
yes
No graphs.

No captions, no photos. Just the title of 9-9 and empty space.

I don't even want that.
That was a pretty damn good game though

for a Dickey start… no one was expecting anything and richie did good… I’m not that pissed for some reason

CORCO WILL BE THE ONE TO PAY FOR THIS
CORCO'S LIVER
RUN CORCO
BUT NOT TOO FAR
CORCO IS INNOCENT
im going to go outside.

find a stray cat
and strangle it

Question. Does Vidro save that ground ball earlier on in the game?
Not even close

Bryan LaHair might :P

Funny that we mentioned Little Big League twice

because didn’t the game in that movie end with that same play?

BUT ITS MUCH BETTER WHEN IT HAPPENS TO SoMEONE ELSE
For those on game day

Was that caught in the deepest part of the park? Did Torii have to pull it back over the fence?

no and no

but it was just short, 3 feet maybe and it’s gone

caught it right in front of the wall

but the ball would have gone over if that fucker wasnt there.

i feel violated

torii hunter is the devil.

fuck him. fuck him so hard.

simple catch..i blame our impotent offense. fucktards
Funny part

in like a week…this will be one of the funniest threads ever

but thats after two dead hookers are found in my car
haha!

okay, that made me laugh out loud in a dark, quiet room with nobody else in it.

THIS WILL NEVER BE FUNNY
I FAIL TO SEE THE HUMOR

ELABORATE PLZ

All the creative rage...

$40,000…thats how much bail bond money we’ll need this evening for LL members

40,000 per member
I nominate this game for worst ending

of the year. Totally raped.

I hope I hit a baby with my car while driving to work.
This is the second game of the season Torii Hunter has taken from the Mariners.

The first was the walk-off grand slam against Cleveland.

(submitted without comment)

That angel = Jamele Hill

it fuels the hatred in my soul

That was fucking disturbing

I am royally pissed.

And that’s after I howled in horror and put three holes in my wall. Fucking FUCK.

FUCK YOU SIMS.

Jinxed it…premature call…

Must...search...for...more...scapegoats...

BURN THE TREE.

Sims loves jinxing things
Really Angie?

Not even Mike Cameron?

i am going to vomit all over myself
When we lose the AL West by 1 game, we

will look back at this game and cry.

it looks like it's time for Krueger to dye his hair.

Oh, and fuck Hunter.

the door was open but it was snowing outside

ohhhh shit rec'd
YES. This almost makes the power outage worth it.
That catch wasn't hard at all

and as you can see….K-Rod said it was a pop up

Exactly.

That was a pussy catch that any sandy vagina with a glove could have made. Any impotent fucktard with a 2 inch penis could have caught that. And sure enough, an impotent sandy vagina fucktard with a 2 inch penis made that catch. Nothing special.

This was worse than Lofton

because that shot was at least in the middle innings, so even after the Lofton catch the M’s still had a chance. This shot, however, was a stake right in the heart.

Time to get drunk

and play vidya games

The first person to post a link to HH gets permanently banned.
Good call.

This seriously blows.

[link deleted]
THAT SHOULD EXTEND TO FOREVER!

FUCK THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!

What t if it's just as an HHroll?
out of curiosity

I typed it into my browser, and came up with feather boas

That's the much more awesome HaloHeaven.com
I concur

Check out Haloheaven!

I strongly advise against clicking on this link
You sir, are no pretty, pretty princess.

For shame.

"Halo Heavan

Where rapey pedophiles like Torii Hunter go because they can’t satisfy women”

Amazing what losing a consonant

does to the testosterone

Nothing, apparently.
Cool a new favorite baseball player to hate

Target —-—-> Torii Hunter.

Fuck you , fuckbag.

get over Hunter...anyone but Raul makes that catch

you are building him up like Corco did that mediocre 6

she is more than a 6 :(
I'll hate who I want

Hunter is a good candidate.

I hate our offense
Have...no...alchohol...shit...

wish…I…had…some…beer…even…keystone…light…

I'm at UPS

ride the bus up

I’m trying to unload

Key Ice
Icehouse
Na(s)tty Light

Riding Tacoma buses at night

is an invitation to get ass raped and mugged…repeatedly…I know this from experience…

You've been repeatedly assraped?
No, I saw it happen to you.
You like to watch dudes getting assrammed?
Judging by the way these gamethreads have been going

I wouldn’t be surprised

Yeah, I've quite the bloodthirsty streak --

seeing guys hit in the ass with tree trunks is my number one entertainment option. I’m watching it happen to Torii Hunter tomorrow.

Right, "saw" it.
He calls it the "Dickey Knuckler"
good point

take a cab

or tell me your location

I will give you a case of beer in exchange for sex with a GIRL who is at least a 6

Define "girl."
has a vagina
and does not have a penis
This could legally be a man
must legally be a female

must have vagina \, no penis, and natural breasts

Let's just say I was dissapointed by the world's first pregnant man.
and no testicles
still pretty vague...
must be incapable of driving a car or appreciating college football
Howabout my dorm cleaning lady?

must weigh a minimum of 130 pounds

and be white

for whatever reason that turns me on I like thongs the #1 girl in my life shows off her thong all the time

www.whale-tail.com

You’re welcome.

dude I have browsed that site several times
also that is maximum of 130 not minimum
Fitted perfectly to specifications --

too thin
No, really?
minimum of 100
Think of what you could do with those ribs
Corco, meet Freud.

Freud, Corco.

freudian slips are a myth
The subconscious isn't.
you live in Iowa why should I believe you
I know how to punctuate sentences, for one.
Grinnell is surrounded

by corn and white people, both patently “American” characteristics—why shouldn’t you believe him?

You'll have a lot to discuss.

Whoa, settle down there Brett...
I can't help it.
Well, she's not doing a very good job.
Somebody's getting set up with the fanciest tranny in town.
yeah I'm getting scared
I watched it in slow mo 10 times

getting a screengrab.

blerg.

what the fuck is wrong with you
Some people love to hurt themselves
I just wanted to pinpoint the exact moment where my heart broke.

Wiggum-style.

that should not happen
fuck this blows

just strikeout richie. then i wouldnt have this fucking empty feeling inside.

i feel abused.

Off to write the Minor League Wrap-Up

so I can focus on baseball games that don’t punch me right in the soul.

Breaking news:

Clement, Wlad and Moore traded for Jim Edmonds.

I heard it was Darin Erstad.
I approve of this trade

NOT TO OUR HATED RIVALS THE PADRES
why couldn't he have just pulled it 5 feet to the left?

fuck this game of centimeters.

FUCK

i hate sports sometimes.

now being a good example.

Mac is a douchebag

there I said it

What is worse?

Losing this game 5-1, assuming that the lineup went 1-2-3 in the ninth and Richie never homered in the 7th, or the real result?

The real result is a million times worse.
Meh.

I won’t be able to catch any of these games until I get back in May, so for now I’m delightfully numb.

In the long run, 5-1 is worse

because that would be a product of total failure by the team to compete, whereas at least the actual result showed some fight.

In the here and now, the actual result is way fucking worse because of the context.

Yeah.

And all in all, this result sure as hell provided more amusement—although perhaps the wrong kind.

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