Lookout Landing

Can someone who is dead hate

Because I'm pretty sure he loathes me. =(

joof - April 1, 2008 reply

Hmm...

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "the last inning is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."

Sidi - April 1, 2008 reply

burke walks, yuni hrs

make it done

A Jamie Burke HR here would just about

complete the night.

I don't think I can take anymore

We need to win in this half inning.

Quite the FB swing for Burke..

Too bad he missed.

He's greasing the ball with his hair.

That's illegal.

There goes Silva's "I'll rub it on my face" strategy.

Nobody on this team hits for power.

Full count...

Crap you guys moved without me

Ah fuck

Yunibomb?

Please?

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

yuni was clutch last year right?

Trenchtown - April 1, 2008 reply

This is discouraging

YuniYuniYuniYuniYuni

Majic - April 1, 2008 reply

Would have been out in little league.

c'mon captain clutch!

yunibomber

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze

Wow Yuni..

Tryin to tie it up are we?

Do it again.

Yuni on base, Ichiro sweet stroke to RF

IBB

Sidi - April 1, 2008 reply

Lopez has the hot bat, fortunately

that works

sooper jeenyus - April 1, 2008 reply

YUNI!!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Yuni

Mother Fucking Clutch

joof - April 1, 2008 reply

Yuni

Never swing like that again

Hell yeah!!!

Get to that one, Bitch.

Gimme my Goddamn Ice Cream.

Majic - April 1, 2008 reply

Not over yet...

:)

WOW. 4-5 2 doubles..

Ichiro. Please. PLEASE. PPLLEEAASSEE.

Nice job, Yuni

Can we has Ichiclutch?

please....don't....let.....it....die!!!!!!!

Trenchtown - April 1, 2008 reply

YUNI!

YUNI!!!!

Fuck, that scared me MUCH

i love yuni

now pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze ichiro get a hit

Ichi FB!!!! PLEASE.

JuliaHope - April 1, 2008 reply

Wow....finally a ball that Hamilton didn't catch.

esoteric - April 1, 2008 reply

false hope false hope false hope false hope

false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope false hope

It feels like a children's hospital

THANKS A LOT

DON'T BE JEALOUS JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET MY HOPES UP

I'M NOT CRYING THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY EYE

fuck YOU man!

It's all you Ichiro

That looked like a popup to me

Delicious

I hope Ichiro lines the tying single off of Hamilton's face. >:(

That would be MLB magic

Or his nuts

shit

sooper jeenyus - April 1, 2008 reply

FALSE HOpE

judas

sooper jeenyus - April 1, 2008 reply

ASS

Well, dammit.

Ass

fuck

sigh

Smegmalicious - April 1, 2008 reply

FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CUNT.

FUCK YOU RANGERS. FUCK. FUCUUCKCUFCCUIFUCUCCKCKCUFUCKCUFKCU whatever.

ASS

ASS

FUCK

god dammit

worst game of the year hopefully

:(

Ichiro ruins baseball.

By grounding out.

Ah

balls

Nick S - April 1, 2008 reply

Ouch.

piss

Oh dear Jeff's gamer on this one is gonna hurt...

esoteric - April 1, 2008 reply

ICHIRO HURTS THE TEAM BY

Not lining the game winning single off of Hamilton's face.

Game-tying

Josh Hamilton is a five tool player

One of those tools is a heroin syringe.

I think of him as just one big tool

iheartjavelinas - April 1, 2008 reply

ahahahhahaha

lemonverbena - April 1, 2008 reply

Good job MLB.tv

I don't want to hear what a tough loss it was by two gay guys with greasy hair.

first of many depressing losses

with this offense.

MfaninAlaska - April 1, 2008 reply

Ballgame

Pythag wins.

Bill Kreguer is a collosal douche.

Even Nicole Zaloumis can't bring a smile to my face

WTF!!!!!

I left after the 8th...fuck fuck shit fuck

SethGrandpa - April 1, 2008 reply

Jesus

2 Games into the season, and we're already a collective mess. This is going to be a LOOOOOONG season. Let's go for it guys

Who's making the Koolaid?

My good friend,

Jim Jones

Yeah...

And I just got the talk about reducing my alcohol consumption if we're going to try to buy a house.

I'm fucked.

Sidi - April 1, 2008 reply

So I'm pretty sure the LL allstar softball lineup would beat this offense

I need the rape victim hotline

1-800-EnglishMariner

at least Robert was willfully sodomized:(

Between this and the balls

I may need to take my own life

Fucking hell... waking up is not going to be fun tomorrow

did you shack up with a clown?

?

Nothing is more terrifying than clowns

Fair enough

Get in line

The Swedish blonde was a dude. >:(

Guess who you get tomorrow night?

The fat greasy prostitute who craps in cop cars after getting arrested.

You already tried that joke

Hey, you referenced your Swedish blonde

I didn't repeat it verbatim

this is a violation of sorts.

I wasn't sure you'd know what I mean by just 'fat greasy prostitute'

Swedism blondes bare repeating

Still. Incredibly. Funny.

click to see Vidro's side gig

i know what Turbo did last winter

lemonverbena - April 1, 2008 reply

Yeah no classes for me tomorrow.

Evolutionary Biology and Russian History can wait.

God told me that

Michael Young would airmail that throw.

There is no God.

He tried to short-hop it

but Ben is too good at his work

We need to stop trying to win games like these.

This is why we cheated pythag.

So what happened to our 1-2 punch?

Not that they didn't do their job, but aren't we supposed to win these games?

They both did their jobs just fine

the problem is that there is no 1-9 punch

They have to be able to score runs first...

Bedard and Felix only gave up 2 runs, COMBINED.

Severe lack of run support.

From what I can tell. It's not like Felix and Bedard pitched badly, 1 ER between the two of them.

Felix was

quite fortunate with some damn good defense on his part to save his bacon.... but yeah, the offense and JJ blew this game

MfaninAlaska - April 1, 2008 reply

FUCK

I hate the little AIM pop up that tells me we lost. Can I make it only tell me when we win?

We needs to blow up the whole team and start over.

save Ichiro and felix

and maybe bedard and beltre

Fin - April 1, 2008 reply

We'll take Putz.

If you don't want him anymore. >_>

And Willie!

The stadium too.

Tear down the fucking stadium and sell it for parts. We won't be needing it.

I blame Richie.

Why can't we have Broussard? :(

Coach Owens - April 1, 2008 reply

He points fingers at people.

I'm pretty sure a toilet brush

would be better than Richie. The toilet brush doesn't have to capacity to swing at awful pitches.

I blame you

because you touch yourself at night

FUCK

Now I have work to do until 3 AM. And to see this?

I'm turning NeoLL into a hardcore porn blog

at least there's some good news

This place is close enough already

And tomorrow was going to be JJ T-shirt day... who the hell do I wear now?

Or do I remain steadfast with JJ and wear him anyway? And will anyone notice or care in Philadelphia?

I wouldn't give up on JJ

unless this becomes a habit.

I think in Philly

you'll have a lot of people mis-pronouncing the name on the jersey, and directing it at you. So no, nobody will care

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htrVgyZ4it8

Also, some one explain this to me...

Creative people in ad agencies do a lot of drugs

Im wearing mine today...

I can't quit him

That could have gone better

160 to go, so can't feel TOO hopeless about this.

speak for yourself

But now we're tied.

Coach Owens - April 1, 2008 reply

Except we have three games to go before we see Bedard and Felix again.

Should we engage in mass suicide? Y/N

Do you really want to be alive to see Washburn pitch?

Depends how many close up shots the tv cameras get of him looking like a squirrel.

Only if we can do so with a small sample size.

Two Rs and Two Ls - April 1, 2008 reply

Not unless Richie does it first.

Coach Owens - April 1, 2008 reply

then it wouldn't be MASS suicide

Sounds like a plan to me

well....

the fucking oven is electric

I'm out of razor blades

Don't have enough pills

The bridge is too far away

It's always somethin...

green star oakland - April 1, 2008 reply

Dorothy Parker:

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smell awful;
You might as well live.

guns are to lawful

JI - April 2, 2008 reply

What flavor Kool-Aid

I'm partial to some flavors over others... and I kind of want death to taste good.

I want it to hurt.

look in the mirror while doing it

You know...

I think I just really really like grape Kool-Aid. Death kind or not, its delicious.

orange kool aid is gross

let's use orange

Umm, about CJ Wilson

I'm not saying he's the best closer in the league, but his numbers last year were pretty good.

ERA+: 149
WHIP: 1.215
K/9: 8.3

GhettoBear04 - April 1, 2008 reply

He is on one of my fantasy teams. Bittersweet night. More bitter than sweet. Err, just bitter.

Hate.

Yes, CJ Wilson is quite good

but as evidenced tonight 2007 performance was no guarantee of anything. >:(

That game was like finding out your long lost father was an MLB player...

But then coming to realize he is Player A.

SIGH

oh my god sigh.

Wilkerson/Richie/Vidro need to DIAF.

was anyone else just FEELING a Burke HR?

PShwa - April 1, 2008 reply

Not really

I was hoping he'd sit on 3-2, fouling strikes and waiting for ball four.

I just wanted to not be scared anymore

JJ blowing a save is a scary feeling

I was more mad at Sexson than anyone else.

That pitch was nowhere NEAR a strike. Seriously, Richie. SERIOUSLY.

PShwa - April 1, 2008 reply

Why McLaren, WHY?

McLaren, put in freakin' Mike Morse! We don't want our backup catcher to pinch hit in the bottom of the 9th when we are down... Where are you coming up with this logic?

Alaska - April 1, 2008 reply

Uh well if you take Burke out I'd love to see who you'd have catch the 10th

Bloomquist? Although, we shouldn't create emergancies.

ASSUMING WE MAKE IT TO THE 10th

Better chance to have kenji or morse jack one

Alaska - April 1, 2008 reply

J.J. Putz blows a save....

.......

HAHAHAHAHAH APRIL FOOLS!!!!!

....wait....that was real?

April Fools is lame.

Was anyone else REALLY mad

when Vidro was not pinch run for?

PShwa - April 1, 2008 reply

Hey Jeff, are we going to experience some major whiplash on the WE graph?

http://www.fangraphs.com/livewins.aspx?gameid=280401112

Here's what it might look similar to

Yeah, my neck hurts.

And so does my groin.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/spt/stories/022708dnsporangsider.2cb3b7b.html

Just got home.

KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE KILL RICHIE

ALSO WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THROW A FASTBALL TO TEXAS' BEST POWER HITTER WITH RAMON MOTHERFUCKING VASQUEZ ON DECK!!! RAMON VASQUEZ!!!! RAMON GOD DAMN SHIT EATING TIT-FUCKING VALDEZ!!!

GTE GTE GTE

BrettJMiller - April 1, 2008 reply

Just got home from the game

Fuck.
Fuck you, too.

Katal LM - April 1, 2008 reply

Just got back as well.

Fuck Richie Sexson.

I don't care that JJ Putz gave up the go ahead run, the biggest suckfest of the game was Richie. Three fucking strikeouts, looked like a fucking crippled 90-year-old .

Furthermore, fuck Squinty McClusterfuck for his idiotic bench construction. Fuck Squinty for temping fate by leaving Vidro in to run.

Finally, fuck the morons who were sitting by me. Fuck them for thinking that Jose Vidro is the second coming of Edgar Martinez because of his fucking empty .314 average. Fuck them for bitching at me when I got pissed off at Sexson.

Fuck fuck fuck.

I'll be watching Carlos Fuckin' Silva pitch from the warmth of my own room tomorrow.

BrianL - April 1, 2008 reply

Hm, CJ Wilson is awesome.