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Lookout Landing

4/24: Open Game Thread, Part 3

It's cute how managers still don't get the whole Ichiro-vs-lefties thing.

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How can managers not get it

after all these years?

You've been a Mariners for how long?

Managerial incompetence is par for the course.

Mariners fan*
Ten minutes ago you said you were sleeping
Clearly my brain has already turned off
Ichiro hurts ningwers' sleep cycles by being awesome
Think of the children, Ichiro
Children?

Respect your elders

Go play in your mansion
It's pretty hollow in there without the many beautiful women on top of a large pile of money
First the mansion

then the women and piles and women in piles.

I plan to swim through the pile like Scrooge McDuck
That's erotic in a Hostel 2 kind of way
Although I guess you were probably talking about piles of money, not piles of women
Sadly, no
Okay so we're back to body parts
I was hoping for whole, live women

but to each his own, I guess

I think it's difficult to swim through a pile of whole women

...you’re gonna dream tonight, that’s for damn sure.

Damn straight!
Duck Tales: The Lost Episodes
There were feathers everywhere...
I thought we had a monopoly

as far as managerial incompetence.

God I miss Bob Melvin.

BELTRE!!!
Doesn't he have to actually do something first?

I mean, I know he’s awesome…

Would Wilkerson be less sucky if he was batting against lefties?
his career splits say so
No matter what happens, this is gonna be an interesting fangraph.

I also regret missing the hijinks that got certain posters banned from posting photographs. I like being there when idiots attack.

Their strength v. your strength???

it’s the only reason I can think of

Ahhhh and my computer breathes a sigh of relief
chad bradford is handing out

moustache rides tonight

Poor guy looked like he was going to cry as we watched the Ichiro homer
he*

Fucking hell I need to get to sleep

Hopefully he looks like Morrow of last night.
Okay, that Keystone commercial is kinda funny
this game needs more JJ and Bedard

and of course MORE BONDS

Green pitches to one hitter

burning relievers in a tie game late?

BURN THE PEN!!!!
silva still has some left in his tank

he ate a sammich and his hamstring is fine. he can go at least 2 innings tonight

Squinty approved.
good

Green stays in..

Good call Alaska
where are RA Dickey and Jake Woods

when you really need them?

right move

wrong result.

Bud Selig strikes again

Well this is how to teach responsible management

I don't have a problem with that
They already did their community service by allowing steroids
I love the fiel photo

Bradford's pitches seem to sprout up out of the ground on gameday

like he has a cannon buried under the mound or something.

Ichiro....

is a long legged-mack daddy.

I wish I was a Diamondbacks fan right now

They are owning.

And their home run song...

Is the part of Won’t Get Fooled Again where Roger Daltrey yells real loud. What’s not to like?

green is a fucking piece of shit
No.

just misused

Well....

That sucked.

Well, fuck that
Fuck this.
Brianeffingroberts
Are you fucking me?
not yet
well hurry up

i’ve got work tomorrow

always about you
you know that's how you like it

that’s why you haven’t left yet

you dont have to rub it in my face >:(
it's not my fault that God made it so big
Our bullpen is a friggin' mess

I never thought that would be the case this year…

Why is SEAN GREEN CONTINUING TO PITCH TO BATTERS WHO CAN HIT LEFT HANDED?
fuck everything

why did you have to come visit me, hope

Why do the Mariners let Green

pitch to lefties?

this game sucks
TWIST THE KNIFE BALTIMORE

TWIST IT TWIST IT TWIST IT

IM SURE GLAD WE LET GREEN FACE A LEFTY IN A TIE GAME
I'm sure glad I stayed awake for this
You have only yourself to blame, stupid
I'd prefer to blame Rhodes for not eating Roberts when he had the chance
No brains in there

):<

I guess that would explain Mac's continued survival
Zombies, clubhouse chemistry positively correlated
this is just all a bad nightmare

now wake up so it can all be over

Truly a "kill self" moment
.................................................

WHY IS RYAN ROWLAND SMITH JUST STARTING TO THROW NOW NICK FUCKING MARKAKIS IS UP

Because he obviously is not suitable to pitch late in games.

Because he gave up 1 homer.

Ichiro hurts the team by not knowing when everyone else has agreed to throw the game,

apparently.

The key to Batista's success.... LOL

What success… anyone else see that?

Batista said he found some secret after his start on Sunday and that he wouldn't tell anyone
Michael Jordan gave him some of his special water
He now has glowing sweat?

That he will use to fuel SWEET RAVE PARTIES?

Mora makes all 5 of his kids sad
Mora has sorta a perma-sad fixation.
DID THEY JUST FORGET HE WAS COMING UP?
So basically everyone in our bullpen sucks (right now) except JJ, who has been injured
Antisemitic post... NONE SHALL PASS!

Aren’t you all glad of how far I’ve come?

I hate this team.
this team was bound to lose

after McLaren got ejected…

...

...

Misjudged?
Stumbled...

on the cut of the grass.
-Blowers

Looks like his spikes caught on the warning track.
Seriously

how do you go 1-6 against the Orioles?

SEAN GREEN SUCKS DONKEY BALLS AGAINST LEFTIES
please stop the failing
GOOD JOB WHOEVER LEFT GREEN IN

HE GOT MARKAKIS OUT

Sherrill is going to get another save against us

isn’t he?

Look, I don't really care about the whole one out guy thing

I’d rather just let a guy pitch

BUT DEAR GOODNESS, why the HELL would you let someone with such horrific platoon splits to continue to pitch to left handed batters???!

For what it's worth Roberts doesn't really have that much power

but on the other hand, yeah…

Yeah, that was just bad luck

but Markakis??

I blame Jim Riggleman for this
So yeah...

Scrappy the Scapegoat obviously took over managing duties… Fuck Scrappy.

Mariners baseball: It's less messy than cutting yourself!
Someone do something other than Ichiro

I’ll have my grandma bake you cookies.

Maybe this will get Vidro's bat going
I have a dream

that one day my favorite baseball team will be competently run.

You'd better just toss yourself off a bridge

it’s less painful than holding out hope for that.

What if my favorite baseball team is the Angels
Do it anyways.
You became an Indians fan?
She was giving him the gently caress me eyes
He'll be giving her herpes later
putz up...

very wishful thinking

Game over.

Just not quite the way we’re used to.

Unfortunely maybe we should be getting used to it.
Wil they swing

At least ONCE at Bradford?

Fuck me,.

STOP HITTING FLY BALLS

YOU COCKSUCKING FATTY

I didn't even have hope for that flyball
5-6-7-8

this part of the order will make Bradford look like Cy Young while giving out moustache rides

I'm calling funk blast
you are not a power hitter you are not a power hitter you are not a power hitter
FUCK YOU VIDRO

Bonds hits that out of the fucking stadium.

Maybe if we start making Bonds tall tales...

Sims will read it, buy into his magic, and tell the front office.

Dear Kenji,

This would be a nice time for you to hit a home run.

Thanks,

Lookout Landing
Fuck the goddamn world.

Now would be a good time for your first funk blast, Joh

Great.

Now we have to pray for a Kenji FB.

fuck you markakis
not PH Norton or Wilkerson

for a struggling Joh…..

Just waive the White Flag.

Go to your room and think about what you just said.

I’d rather have a Johjima hitting .021 than WIlkersuck up.

Johjima is batting .188
If Bloomquist gets another chance to bat in this game, I'm going to scream.
get your lungs ready
GODDAMMIT YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS
Strictly speaking,

Sexson was not “going the other way.”

He was late on a meatball.

false hope wooooo
PINCH RUN PINCH RUN PINCH RUN PINCH RUN
You called it!

Bloomquist 2!

KENJI YES

WILLIE UP NOOOOO

PINCH HIT PINCH HIT PINCH HIT
PH THE S-HITTER AGAINST THE SIDEARMER
What the hell?

That can happen?

This would be a good time for Willie run for Joh... oh >:(
IT'S TOO BAD KENJI DOESN'T RUN VERY FAST

or he’d be on second

Oh my God

Someone has the brains to use the bench!!!

willie blast!
Umm Kenji hitting the ball to that side of the field?

Is that legal?

PINCH HIT PINCH HIT WHY AREN'T YOU PINCH HITTING
without McLaren

this team is like a piano without Stevie Wonder

More like a broken karaoke machine without drunk guy
wow that's grounds for firing
FUCK THIS TEAM AND THEIR IRRATIONAL BELIEF THAT WILLIE IS ANYTHING OTHER THAN TOTAL SHIT AT THE PLATE
FUCK YOU WILLIE
HE IS NOT LETTING FUCKING WILL-BLOW FACE THIS GUY IS HE

JESUS TAP DANCING CHIRST ON A DILDO

Well that was a new one...
WHY IS FUCKQUIST BATTING
If willie Boom Boom goes yard here, my head will explode
It's not even worth the consideration.
WTF?

This team doesn’t deserve to have fans.

Please, not Sherrill

I’m so sick of these various types of stomach-punches. I never ever want to see Baltimore again. Never.

Willie obviously historically owns Bradford...

3 for 5 is good!

WHY THE FUCK WAS WILLIE BATTING

FUCK YOU M’S..I HATE THIS TEAM

FUCK YOU WILLIE

DIE DIE DIE YOU WEENIE

Well,

That was stupid

Sherill up next inning.

Game over.

the only thing that would cheer me up right now would be a blown save by sherill
Sherrill wasn't warming up they had some righty up

there’s a chance he’s not available today

Not really

He would benefit my fantasy team.

Rule of thumb:

Nobody cares about anyone else’s fantasy teams.

I would care more if they posted their rosters on a daily basis
SUBTHREAD CLOSED
If this is how we play against Baltimore...

I really don’t wan to see Boston or New York

At least you aren't going to end up spending a few hundred dollars

to drive a girl from McCall all the way out here in July to see her favorite team the Boston Red Sox play

Whatever girls > losing
GREAT TRADE BAVASI!
Look at his smug douchebag smile

Angels plant all along
look at his fucking alien head too
I cannot fucking wait until next year

when the Sounders are in MLS and I can cheer for a team that isn’t run by complete fucktards

Seahawks aren't
Thank God for Tim Ruskell.
I can't wait for Saturday!

Ruskell gonna work his magic.

Draft day with Tim Ruskell

is fucking awesome.

don't really care about them
You have issues.
Your life is worse for it
I mean, I cheer for them and all, but I'm totally a fair-weather fan
The weather's been fair for about 5 years now.

I think it’s safe to just be a general fan.

I've just never been captivated by the NFL at all

prob because when I was 5 it was ‘95, and thus I got hooked on the Sonics and Mariners, and never really the Hawks.

Note to self too many commas
Cheering for a team part owned by Drew Carey.

Friggen sweet.

Feel better about that...

than cheering for one part owned by Nick Lachey

follow the Seahawks or Sonics
what the FUCK???? Wheres JJ?
Saving for extras, dude.
hey FUCK YOU
Uh... What?
you ARE TALKING TRASH ABOUT ME!
Umm... What?

I think your taking my sig much harder than it was intended.

IM MESSING WITH YA BRO
gotta walk the world, brb

Stiff of the game?

I vote Rhodes.

Lowe in my book
Whoever the fuck

left Green in to pitch against lefties.

Rhodes does not make me stiff.
It's not fair to vote for the clinically deceased

this is rigged

Come on, Jeff

Get on the trolley! All the brains you can eat!

Me when I saw that new FSN girl.....
Dear Ichiro

Our offense sucks. Could you hit another funk blast next inning?

Thank you
Lookout Landing

He will...

I’m matched up against him this week for fantasy.

Two ice creams please? Bitches.
I thought I had the monopoly on curt letters to our hitters
i'm glad Morrow is pitching in this spot instead of the 7th
Morrow throwing strikes is awesome
Methinks he doesn't want to go back down...
If only we had one less shitty starter.
Dear George Sherill

Eat shit and die.

Uncalled for.
How sad

Adam Jones WPA = +.451

I think I'm going to cry.
Adam Fucking Jones beat us?

:(

That

was a beautiful breaking ball from Morrow. What a waste.

Sims quoting Neil young = total honkey
Sims quoting Marvin Gaye = an FCC lecture from FSN
Umm...

Wow… I don’t have any idea what to say about Sims right now.

Did he just try to come one to me?
Least subtle double entendre of Sims' career
Ahahaha that was classic Sims
I feel like Sims may have just raped me.
Whatd he say

I missed it

are you sure you weren't asking for it?
thats so you
He has character

More then I can say about most other recent M’s broadcasters (excluding Niehaus).

*is a character
I think Blowers works well with him

because he’s the exact opposite.

True

but for some reason I enjoy his robot-ness.

Too early to whip out this pic?

What did Sims say? Wasn't watching.
In the words of Marvin Gaye "let's get it on"
"To quote Marvin Gaye, LET'S GET IT ON!"
Made reference to the Niel Young song "Helpless, Helpless, Helpless"

and then followed it up with the above.

How does Sherrill not have a picture on Gameday?
Because he actually does
If you click on his name he has a picture.

I’m thinking its Gameday being stupid.

Refreshing makes it stop
"Have fun! Why not?"

The team sure as hell won’t provide any.

START THE WAVE
Need...more...YuniBomb...
someone please hit a funk blast

please.

Brett on the field

with his Bonds picture…. is that the holdup?

I WANT SEE THE STREAKER
WTF is going on
If we win this...

rally streaker… I can see it now.

If RRS is streaking on the field to get McLaren's attention he's a few innings too late
OMG TAKE UNTIL YOU GET A STRIKE
I wish they'd show it when that happens
If that's what you want to see, ask "Majic" to help you out
Dude,

We’re all knucklehead fans.

Just had my first ever La Fin du Monde

I like it.

Fuck this team.

We told you
thanks, but I need more now.
So, let me get this straight...

In Dave Sims mothers womb, the streaker would not have left alive.

It's Rick White, he wants his job back!
YUNI BLOIOP
er...whatever.
Sims is magical.

“Sit down ball! Sit down ball!”

GO YUNI

NOW WE NEED MORE ICHIBOMB.

Come on Ichiro...repeat funk blast.

Game winning funk blast.

I’ll love you forever…

Yuni can run

he just can’t steal a friggin base.

aw shit aw shit aw shit hope came back again
Don't try to steal...

Yuni doesn’t do that….but he’ll probably try…and fail…

i LOVE YUNIIII
I have never rooted against George Sherrill so hard in my life

except the first four games he saved against us

and then that other one, and the few in august yet to come...

power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing power swing

FAIL

NEEDS MORE CAPS AND SYMMETRY

i hate you

it’s over

NOT AGAIN

why does nobody want me?

I promise to piss myself if Ichiro slugs one here.
If they have him bunt,

I go Pennsyltucky on some ones ass and pull out the shotgun.

Power swing?
Makeup call from Moser?

That was right down the pike.

Power swing please
HUH?

That was right down the middle!

haha that was so a strike
I HATE BASEBALL!!
ICHINOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ICHIRO!

GIDP!
Nice strong stroke!

You're not long lived for this place, I fear.
I'll play along.

F off chokeland newb!!! ur tem sux!

Hey, at least I was BORN in Seattle

so to me, youse guys are ALL “newbies” and ‘wannabes’.

Heck I’ve not said one disparaging remark about the Mariners. All my comments are pointing out what I like!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Yeah, that was a strike methinks.
ehhhhhhhhhhhh...
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK

FUCK

Should have bunted.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Oh god...

here comes a popup to second.

gotta be fuckin kidding me
NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ow.

This hurts.

COME ON AND PULL THE GOD DAMN BALL LOAFIE
fuckity fuck.
Geroge Sherril and Adam Jones are the two biggest asshole losers ever
They caused 9/11
And cancer
Get the Orioles the fuck out of here.
Even if he gets on

Raul v. GS = boned

Great...Jones with a big double, Sherrill with the save

Bedard on the shelf.

Never want to see the O’s again.

GOD DAMN IT
Joe's tracer is just that, it traces all the pitches outside the zone
Jesus Christ
would asked to be traded if he played for the mariners
I HOPE YOUR PLANE CRASHES ON THE WAY TO CHICAGO FUCKERS!!
Fuck this team.

Fuck them fuck them fuck them.

1-6 against the fucking Baltimore Orioles.

Tonight was great!

Seattle leads 5-0, then lets the Orioles score in FIVE CONSECUTIVE INNINGS!
Orioles=6-1 versus Mariners, 7-8 everyone else!

I wan't to direct some threats at you

but we had a stern lecture from Jeff tonight.

want, dammit.
hilariously

i thought this was just sarcasm

Open mouth, insert gas pipe
Man

I wonder if I can just go through the weekend totally trashed.

* Sigh *

Erik Bedard, you better stay off the DL this time.

I hate the Mariners and I hate Adam Jones
The Moose is now officially

the Bird’s beeyotch.

We are MacPhail's bitches.

Fuck Geoff Baker.

Fucks sake

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

5th save against the fucking douchebag Ms…

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

WELL, THAT'S A TACO
Tacos are tasty

How the fuck is this tasty?

Fail is an acquired taste
fucking bavasi.... TRADES DOING GREAT!
It's the Orioles. The fucking Orioles.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

For the record.

I’m not the crazy fan running around on the field.

JINX JINX JINX!!!!

Dammit - why doesn’t it work when I need it to…
Also - fuck this damn site.

So you were saying Adam Jones sucks, Geoff?
I need to leave my computer now before I go over there and wreak havoc
Can I say fuck some more?
Yes. But no one can hear you over their own screams.
Holy hell that was so birdland

never play us again please

I have words for George and Adam

but then I’d have to violate the TOS

ASS BALLS
That center fielder and their closer seem awesome, and totally destroyed us tonight

I wonder if we can trade that worthless sack of crap thats been on the DL all goddamn season for them. That’d be a steal.

That is not a fair trade.

Needs some promising pitching prospects thrown in as well.

and then they lead off with Frank Thomas returns to the A's..

so depressing, i’m going to go pretend not to be a Mariners fan.

The Ichiro shot bounced off Bretts glove
We need BONDS
i'll take griffey for joh instead
or how bout CLEMENT
I'll take hcoguy's bag of dicks for Johjima right about now
So this is turning out to be

a pretty disastrous April. Wasn’t the general consensus the Mariners needed to jump off to a huge division lead during this weak schedule? Geoff I think that was you who said that.

Baker just ate a metrick fuckton of crow.
the Carlos Silva diet
he needs to eat a bag of dicks.
the Greg Louganis diet
NO THEY WOULDNT KREUGER YOU ARE A DUMBFUCK
Really, Kreuger.

Anybody would coven Jarrod Washburn in the 4-spot?

yes send him to a coven, maybe he learns a new pitch, a good one.
Baltimore had better win 85 games

because if we got toasted by a 90 loss ballclub, I swear

BOY I SWURR

So what has happened thanks to today's game

Vidro’s double landed him another two months of veteran entitlement
Lowe is on his way to Tacoma
Geoff Baker will be forced to rationalize and defend his bashing of Adam Jones.

Lesson learned

Sleep >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Being kneecapped >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Watching the Mariners

I don't think Birdland will ever get old
The Mojo's risin'!
As pissed as I am about this game

that still made me giggle a bit

I laughed pretty hard
I like the one popping up behind the wall
This game thread was a success

not the funniest of all time, but pretty clean, all things considered. Thanks. I hope they’re all this easy to moderate.

I'll try to keep the incest references to a minimum in the future.
They can't all be FUCK MY PUSSY
We need an extended losing streak to thin the herd
The Mariners are dying for LL.
Our Easter had better get here pretty damn soon
Is that what we're calling a healthy Bedard now?
I guess if we wanted to look at it literally it would have been when Rhodes came back

but that doesn’t fill me with much hope for the future

I was wondering how you guys kept posting and responding so fast...

then I logged in… duh…

Our minor league teams better have done well today...
since you asked

3 wins… 0 losses for the affiliates.

Those wins are transferable

to the ML club, right?

Bavasi prefers only to transfer gritty loses.
Haha

So Bill James’s son is the guy who does the MLB.com Gameday for home Mariners games, if you were curious

Where'd you learn this?
He goes to UPS

I went to several games with him last year but hadn’t talked to him too much this semester but I just ran into him and I guess he’s doing that now

UPS?
University of Puget Sound
"University" of Puget Sound
So having taken some time to look back on it all

That 1B umpire really screwed us over, didn’t he? Had that runner been correctly called out, he never would’ve scored.

I love reminiscing.

Fuck everything

I hate baseball

If only we picked Lincecum....

Local ace pitcher more likely to sign long term contract…2nd piece of the “1-2 punch”...still have Sherrill + AJ…

And Tim Lincecum is kind of good.
Yeah, but he had

a WEIRD DELIVERY!!!!!

AND BAD TEETH..THE MARINERS FRONT OFFICE WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT!!
AND HE WAS ONLY 5' 11"

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