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Lookout Landing

4/29: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Everytime Carlos Silva pitches, things get bizarre, which is entertaining, which Silva is not. Which is bizarre.

0 recs  |  883 comments

Comments

I get home, Dellucci doubles, I feel like leaving home
I think that was Sizemore...
Either the announcers lied to me or I'm still in my alternate universe
B
Too much Silva in this universe
It's your universe

it’s your own damn fault if Silva’s still there

I'm trying dammit

cross-dimensional interference is difficult.

have you tried turning it to 11?
"10" is infinite speed there guy
Too loud
So that's a no

no wonder you can’t figure this out.

IT'S VERY HARD

shit I just deleted my wall clock

Well, you're a veteran

and even though you’re sucking we’ll give you some more time to sort it out and hurt this team before we call up a rookie from HH

While you're at it, could you erase those Wilkerson singles so we can get Wlad up here?
I'm not messing with the minor league timeline until the 7th
And here come the Yankees....

Oh wait, wrong team.

I declare this thread to be... I don't know... mine.

Yeah.
MINE

this thread brought to you by

Needs more dog.
I need to try that
very much so
One day you will run out of beers to endorse things with

What will you use then?

Combinations of beers
This thread is brought to you by

24% hoegaarden, 38% hofbrau original and 38% asahi

Hair of the Arrogant Bastard
...

I’m trying this.

Please let me know
no arrogant bastard in my stock

but I do have double arrogant bastard.

That is damn tasty. It’s like a hoppy port.

I've never had a Stone product I didn't enjoy
To clarify

I meant the mixture is damn tasty, like a hoppy port.

I went 2 parts HotD to 1 part DAB, figuring the Stone flavor would be stronger. HotD is pretty mild.

of course I agree that Stone doesn't make anything bad

I just recently picked up a fifth of their barley wine. I’m looking forward to that at some point.

All right, this is now on my to-do list
I think it's somehow better if you sip it out of a port glass like I'm doing.
I usually drink my beer out of a goblet

close enough

the HotD is resting in a Duvel glass
Being a snob is so awesome
Maybe I'm just not a good beer snob yet, but I can't say I'm a huge fan of arrogant bastard.
You're just still a pussy

don’t worry, you’ll get there in time.

Hopefully. I'm getting better at liking good beer though.

I was never Corco bad though, thank god.

You like Stella :(
Invent beers
I do want to take up home-brewing

my COA doesn’t approve right now

That makes two of us
much easier and more satisfying than most people realize
I look forward to this summer to try it out.
My dad's just started to home brew

I’m glad I’m in England because god knows I’d have been the first test subject

Man, Clement and Wlad better go 8-8 with 8 HR and 10 BB tonight.
wow an off night then?
And pitch a combined no-hitter between them
Sweet new thread.
So that was right down the middle
This strike zone isn't exactly small, just weird.

It’s been like that all night.

Let's see if pronk will send a little "fuck you" to Jeff.
Where the hell was that pitch?
gameday says it was outside by a lot
And your point is?
That the call wasn't outrageous.
its like Squinty is manufacturing 'wars' for the players to go through by refusing to get any more than a 1 run lead
I know we give Silva a lot of shit...

but we really have to give him credit for not being a total piece of crap like HoRam and Weaver were/are.

Those seem like silly guidelines
You'll be giving him shit

once he crashes back to Earth and regresses to the mean.

Yeah but it's

a lot better than 30 starts of “regression to the mean”

mistake pitch sighting!
GOOD DEFENSE BRAD!
YAY YUNI DIDN'T THROW IT AWAY!
Hey Yuni Range!
Nice stop, Yuni.
Why Do I have a feeling...

that we’re going to cough up this lead and lose by 1?

Inductive reasoning.
Because we will?
Woo Yuni they haven't scored yet
Where do you find stats for players getting to balls "out of range"?

I’d like to see where Yuni ranks

www.josiasmanzanillo.com
I believe the fielding bible said

that Yuni led the major league in “good fielding plays.”

God bless your fat body
I want this to be a "yur mm" joke

but I can’t make it work.

O button iz brk
Fuck you Mr. Metathesized Consonants!
Silva is only good for 7.2 innings max these days

then he has to make a run for the border

Lopez swung at the first pitch.

Sound the alarm!

He did at Sunday's game too at one point
Joel is wearing Matt Morris' old number.

seems appropriate

.... the announcers seem to think that they need to bring a new pitcher in to face our dangerous hitter...

JOSE VIDRO!

annoucers are usually pretty stupid
Let's go Beltre!
MLB.tv commercial with Girffey talking about his approach to 600 homers.

Shows Mays,Aaron, and Ruth hitting their 600th homers.

No mention of Bonds or Sosa.

You can't find any mention of WW2 in Germany either...
Bonds is Hitler!?!
No, that's Jeff
No, Jeff is a Nazi
and no one cares

600 HRs ain’t what it used to be

this is a message to MLB

not Goose

just to clarify

I kinda figured as much.
Not surprising

MLB is trying to clean up their image that’s been hanging around the steriod issue for the past few years…... Bonds and Sosa are both linked to that issue, right or wrong its good PR to avoid them in promotional announcements.

Thrown enough inside fastballs to Beltre yet?
Roy Halladay

3 complete games in a row? and tonight he has thrown 71 pitches thru 6 against the red sox…the man is a beast

only one ball put in play was a flyball too
I like this non-insane version of Beltre
3 walks! that is insane
bizarre even
Beltre = on base machine tonight
Adrian...no bendy thing...bash... over... wall!
Beltre = Carmona kryponite
Damn near every blody pitch has been inside to Beltre.

Umm…hello?

What?

That guy rules.
I would kill for a Nathans in Seattle
The Lowe's in Tacoma, serves Nathan's hot dogs...

I guess it’s not really a Nathan’s, but they have the dogs

Jose Vidro eats these for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Vidro approves.
Does anyone else think this is natural?
No...and he must hate going to baseball games

I’d be fucking tired of hot dogs

I agree

the gay joke I was going for there was a bit of a stretch

Gay Jokes...

are for Tadano

No gay 4 pay is for Tadano

//SUBTHREAD CLOSED

Honestly..he probably eats popcorn but still taste hot dogs
I guess Kobayashi wanted the Hot Dogs more
hey.

nice play Richie.

HE'S GOOD BECAUSE HE'S TALL!
His height saves dozens of runs a year....
in truth

it actually does save a couple. Like 5.

So like .5 dozens
Minute Bol 4 1B!
Yes....

and his range is like -15

I know, just felt like stating it
Cabrera

Owned by the Jolly Green Giant.

Since when is he jolly?
wait???

Might we win this game?

In time for Neil Diamond night?

Screw that.

We might win this in time for Northwestern awesomeness.

it was sunny this morning, then cloudy

then it rained, then it was sunny, then it got windy, then it started raining again, then it got cold, now it’s sunny again.

I WANT SUMMER GODDAMNIT

You have to wait until July 15th.

Then is goes away by August 1st.

Yeah, it was actually kinda cold here in SD today

only 81 =/. Way cooler than the last few days

And thank goodness for that
Seriously

when I walk to my car, the last thing I want to see on my thermometer is triple digits

I think Graham and I decided to move to SD and work for the Padres

fuck Seattle.

Join us

we’re tan and awesome

I come from Scottish stock

I don’t think I’m allowed to tan.

I didn't think I was either but here I am

It’s like looking into the future

I...

my god. That angers me so much my urge to kill meter rolled over back to 0.

No way that tan is real.

He is painted that red color.

We have to give Mac a chance to blow it first...he gets at least one opportunity per game
our pen hasn't made an appearance yet

this game is not in the books, nor even close to it.

This might go straight to JJ.
that's still not a given

not with the rust JJ showed last time out.

quiet you
Cleveland annoucers:

“Can he beat the big Sexson.”

“No, he’s too tall.”

Man, Sexson’s height should be an automatic gold glove.

Fire Johjima
hahaha I love you Kenji
Goddamn, Kenji

Can you do anything right?

Kenji hasn't done anything right all season long

get out of my life

You'd better hope he heats up

so we can flip him for Lillibridge.

Fuck Brent Lillibridge

I hope Brent Lillibridge snaps his leg and retires.

I'm wishing pain and suffering

on his douchebag twin brothers. Damn pricks shoved me into a locker in middle school.

he will

in 3 more years !

maybe

That's....

what you tell all the girls.

I just realized that he has yet to homer.

Good lord.

Remember when Jacob's Field

sold out every home game for like a decade?

yeah

that’s the reason we can’t do a Cleveland style tear down

I think there's about 14 people there tonight.
I'm surprised they never returned.

...then again it’s hard to match the entertainment value of a Baegra/Vizquel/Lofton/Belle/Ramirez/Thome lineup

WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK?
Holy shit.

Raul got to a hard hit fly ball.

That looked worse off the bat
Adam Jones and Raul catch that!!
Wow

That looked way gone…

So, RRS in the 8th to face 2 lefties, JJ for the 9th?

Yes please. More likely Silva stays until he gets rocked then Arthur Rhodes comes in and gets rocked then LL disperses and goes about their merry lives

That....

...that was lucky.

Raul, you SOB.
Reed catches that without giving me a heart attack
and how is that fun?
good point
How did Ibanez get over there and catch that?

I almost expect him racing to the line in a wheelchair as the camera moves over.

RAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL

GOLD GLOVE FOR HIM HE’S A GREAT DEFENDER AND WE DONT NEED HELP WE’RE SET UP HERE FUCK TACOMA THAT WAS AWESOME WOOOOO.

OK so Ibanez is in the top 20 for OOZ in the AL

How is that possible?

because his zone is so small?
Because he has his own zone

and its about twelve square feet

Zone handicap....

Raul’s “Zone” is actually only about a 10 foot radius. He gets bonus points for moving outside of it.

proof you spend too much time on LL

we all have identical humor

Also, there's only 42 outfielders in the AL

so top 20 is barely above average

To be fair I'm looking at OOZ for everyone in the AL

Not just OF

First pitch swinging.

Well, it’s a way to avoid striking out, I suppose…

Richie experimenting with patience.

1st AB = 6 pitches
2nd AB = 1 pitch
3rd AB = 5 pitches
4th AB = 1 pitch

All=Giant Fail
Jhonny. Haha.
That and Dwyane Wade

are why you don’t fill out a birth certificate while hammered

If we win this game 2-1...

the Indians suck.

They should know coming into the game we were only going to score 2 runs.

Ha.

Some fan had a “Yankees 666” jersey.

I have Comcast

The have channels 660-665, and 667-676

no 666

fucking fucktards

my building claims to not have a 13th floor

I have contemplated proving them wrong on occasion after some bad Mariner losses…

Does this summon the meme?

I can’t tell.

that was the aim
I have no frame of reference for this.

Has anyone seen me on Letterman? Two million people watch that show and I don’t know where they are. You might have seen this next comedian on the Late Show, but I think more people have seen me at the store. That should be my introduction. “You might have seen this next comedian at the store,” and people would say “Hell yes I have!”

Hey, I just saw you 15 minutes ago...

yeah, you were good.

My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.
Grizzle FlankSteak!

oh…damn.

THEY USED TO HAVE CHANNEL 666

AND IT SHOWED BASEBALL IN HD AND NOT JUST EAST COAST GAMES LIKE EPSN

...and then they reshuffled the order

DirecTV has 666 as RSNa.

Whatever that is.

Red Sox Nation assholes?
It really doesn't feel like we are winning.
Brad Wilkerson

refuses to make an out tonight.

Luckily Kenji's been making the outs for him.
Seriously what would we do without Kenji picking Wilkerson's slack tonight?
Wilkerson reaches base for the 4th time

bradtastic!

I love the Reds
Good on you, Brad
Wow, the Indians are just GIVING tickets away
I don't like our odds for tomorrow
tonight isn't over
Yeah, we already scored our 2 runs for the series.
WOOOOOOO KENJI NON-GIDP!
how was that not a double play?
It's called a hit-and-run
Kenji cut his power in half.
Kenji couldn't get enough on the ball. He tried his best, though.
Jeeezus

Kenji you are not Ichiro quit swing at pitches in the dirt…....

Yikes I think he was out.
So he was out by 6 feet...
Yuni can be quite persuasive with those arms
I could probably write an entire article about the hilarity of Yuni's arms when he's running
Leave it to yuniform

He’s got an entire blog dedicated to Yuni

yeah, but I prefer to freak out about Yuni's Little Hottie


warm!

tripping hazard!

Looked way out to me
Great call Blue

Thanks

But! Yuni said he was safe
Uh... he was really really out
Wow, that was really bad
They called him safe?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Hard to say whether his foot was touching the bag.
His foot was on the bag.

Wow what a horrible call.

Actually kinda hard to tell

at least to me.

what game are you guys watching

the bag retouched his foot after Yuni stepped on it

the bag retouched his foot?

I want a different bag that doesn’t move.

Remember when Johnny Cueto was

big after having a 10K game? Welcome to regression, Johnny.

he's old news

now we love edinson… son of eden.

awful call, how do you miss that

whatever, I’ll take it

Are they bringing in a LHP?
I don't believe we can score more than 2 runs a game

Prove me wrong, Suzuki.

Halladay and Lester have a combined GB/FB out ratio of 30-4
Jesus Christ.
Power swing? Please?
you guys see Baker's recent update?

“By the way, I don’t want to freak any of you out, but the lineup for tonight’s Tacoma Rainiers game has neither Wladimir Balentien, nor Jeff Clement in it”

Too bad, Geoff

I am freaking out.

Oh my God.

Please?

Are they in the dugout?
the played yesterday

doubtful they’d be in the dugout right now….

Uh... what?

I am asking are they at the ballpark? If they are at the ballpark, but not in the lineup, then there is nothing to talk about.

they didn't get done playing until about 9p

last night… its doubtful that they’d be at the park in Cleveland yet. If they had plans to fly out yesterday to join the club they wouldn’t have remained in the Rainiers game. So the decision to fly them would have come sometime today, contacting-coordinating-and flying them there probably wouldn’t have gotten them to the game by now.

Pretty sure he meant the Tacoma dugout...
never mind

you’re talking about Tacoma’s dugout…

What planet are you on?

I was referring to the game in Tacoma. Baker is saying they are not in the lineup. My question is are they in the dugout?

Great. Let the speculation begin.
BYE BYE CAIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
bye bye one year of club control!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111
OK, my 1 actually was accidental :(

and I’m pissed about the year of club control… but I would like to see them both in the majors =(

If it was just one of them I'd say whatever

but both not being in the lineup is very suspicious.

on the plus side...

Reed is in the game in CF… and so is Jimmerson… as the DH.

We even mess up the smart things we do
No sir, I don't like it
gives you material
If this happens...
So your saying their both about to be traded for Griffey then?
we've done worse
that's good

let it out

also prepare the rebuttal for the “You crazy bloggers! You just can’t be pleased!” article.

Tell us Mr.Horse, what are your feelings about that fall?
Goddamn it Ichiro

Big contract disease

That's not a strike, Ichiro.
Bottom 8th

Time to lose.

How many games have we lost in the 8th?
Holy shit it's the 8th?

I thought it was the 5th.

WHAT THE FUCK WE'VE LEFT

25 MEN ON BASE

Bring in RRS for the love of God

Silva isn’t making it through this inning

This is totally worth all the time I spent making it

I a recoending this coent

It is ade of win

Okay, I just have to come out of lurking to ask … WTF is that?

he's not allowed to use the letter 'm' today

home team rules.

Read the top of the first game thread
what's that third letter in your penultimate word!!!!!
Crapppp

y bad. Didn’t ean to do that. inus three points for e.

Feel free to use the Carmona graphic while you're there
Stuff nobody likes

Those Kids Who Refuse to Give the Rabbit any Trix:

Also, Turbo.

Warming up in the pen

Lowe and Rhodes.

Game in doubt.

Still Silva, no!

Would you rather see Arthur Rhodes?
yes, no, wait...
I am just as nervous about our bullpen as I am about Silva going into the 8th
Shit walk.

Game over.

Uh, that was a strike.

This strike zone is weird.

Silva licking his lips.

He spotted the nachos guy,

well this lead was fun
this is reminding me of Sunday...
Trainer? Again?
Delucci

Only up to draw a walk. He’s a good walker, no?

so uhhh

what a really weird strike zone.

All aboard the FAIL boat!
Shit shit shit

Game over.

Ah we know the end to this story

Written by horror novelist Stephen King

and it's over, nice try M's
HE WILL GO IN STANDING!

WELL HE COULD’VE ANYWAY

good save.

So this is bad...
TheOptimist is a true M's fan
Seriously, fuck this team

Why do they do this to us every fucking game?

Because they don't have good players?
Yeah, but it's annoying as fuck

to blow a late lead every game.

That happens when you don't have players that can hit, throw, or catch.
Really, I've always liked it.

It’s just like that pleasant sensation of getting kicked in the groin after eating a bacon cheeseburger.

Need an updated picture.

I don’t think Putz was born when Wilson and Rhodes last played together.

BAD MEMORIES BAD MEMORIES BAD MEMORIES
so that JitB burger looks fucking delicious
It really sucks that fast food is so delicious.
I'll eat two of them for you
Another very good pitching performance that will end up as an L
RHODES!? RHODES!?!?

Punting the game again, Mac?

FUCK YOU YOU SHIT-FOR-BRAINS COCKMONGER!

ARE YOU READY FOR THE MELTDOWN!

ashamed to say it

I laughed

HAHAHAHAHA

That’s great, man.

Thanks, spent way too much time on int.
Can't wait until the new Indiana Jones.
I have a feeling it's going to suck

but I’m still gleefully looking forward to it.

Agreed.

Indiana was awesome because he, you know, did shit. I doubt he’s going to be up to punching Nazis as he used to.

Soviets this time >:(
He'll be punching Soviets now.

Insert your “In Soviet Russia” joke here.

1985

Kinds of awesome.

Finally it's been updated.
You miss a lot shit

when you go to all the home games

Thank you for not putting his face on it
I stopped short of saying the other one sucked

but the white flag is quitet good… and FUCK WHY WHAT THE FUCK

so, um, another qs for Silva

good defense by raul and timely hitting by vidro

Shh! you'll destroy the internet!
I like the way you think.

Stay positive! :)

Maybe it's something about

being in Cleveland that fucks this Mac’s head… some mysterious voice whispering …”veteran relief, talent not important, if you pitch him, they will love you”

It's not just Cleveland...
Game tied.

I’d better start on my homework now.

Sounds like some wild macaw sex in the bleachers
You know, that would have been good pitching had there not been a runner on third
such broken records
There's no way we'll win this game

McLaren will hold out Putz for the save situation.

I wish for:

Ichiro
Lopez
Raul
Griffey
Beltre
Clement
Wlad
Kenji
Yuni

Please?

No Griffey this year.

No trading for Griffey, period.

I'd trade Wilk for him.
I don't want to trade for him period.

If we do that, chances are the FO will pick up that albatross option for next season.

For the time being,

replace Johjima with Burke.

why the hell would you still want Johjima in there?
under contract?
I don't

but while I can see Clement, Wlad, and Griffey making their way onto the team, I can’t see Kenji actually leaving it.

I wish for

Sizemore
Granderson
Pujols
Howard
Ramirez
Jones
Wright
Reyes
Vidro

Vidro should definitely be higher up

the guy hit over .300 last year, come on…

Haha, I love how you counter-balance the lineup with Vidro at the bottom.
*rolls eyes at inclusion of adam jones*
Chipper?
It's Chipper
Chipper is a fucking man beast. He better make the hall of fame
here, here
And David Wright?

You’ve got 2 1B and 2 3B, buddy!

And no catcher. And Turbo.
Chipper for LF!
I can't believe Jeff would write such a classless thing
Also, I just noticed that my lineup has East Coast Bias

much like the trading deadline

That's right.

Stay the fuck away Raul.

he looked very sad that he wasn't going to make the catch
I love that dejected look he has

when he gets called off by Ichiro or Yuni, which is 90% of the time

I was wondering if I was the only one who noticed. Seems pissed.
They need to keep doing it.

Eventually Raul will have to resign himself to being a DH.

Raul has already basically said he should be DH-ing

it’s managements fault that he’s still out there

there's some range.
Mark Lowe in.
We need a BRB WALK THE WORLD picture right now
Or just a link for we must protect this Nieuhaus
*Shaggy/Without a paddle
There was a time when that statement would have made me happy
Well, now, it looked like a good decision

But I thought walking Martinez would’ve been prudent. Everything worked out the other way though, but that’s cool.

you know what's good?

sweet potatoes roasted with cumin

is that a baseball metaphor?

i’m not following

no, i'm just eating some dinner

and thought I’d share that there is joy in life, even when the Mariners are made of fail.

HERETIC.

WHAT IS THIS “JOY” YOU PROTEST OF!

NO O' FLAHERTY SEX JOKES.
No you were correct the first time Sims.

It’s the winning run.

Maybe he knows something we don't.

Are we going to score in the 9th?

No, but we'll threaten and leave the bases loade
Lowe wooooo.

I hate this team. I can’t get excited about anything.

Cept for 2 days for a solid 7 half-innings
7+ innings.

We can’t even get 1 out before fucking everything up.

Uhhhhh, no, exactly 7

Because we can’t seem to get 1/3 through the 8th without removing the only hope we have.

Wow, what a terriible swing.
So how chances do we get to not score before they win it
What's worse than shitty Mariners baseball?

Bonus Mariners baseball.

Somebody had better score in the 9th.

Mark Lowe = two true outcomes
Strikeout or blown elbow?
You're half right.
Okay three true outcomes
Strikeout

or Vaginitis.

Anyone else notice that Riggleman is at 1B coach, Rodriguez at 3B Coach?

What happened to Perlozzo?

knee issues

....he's a fucking coach.
still has to stand all day

standings tough man its 9 whole innings man

...he's a fucking coach!

well call and ask him why he cant sack up

Put a goddamn title on your comment
my legs got tired making sandwhiches seven hours a day
Let's see you stand and move around out there for 9 innings on a bad knee.
It's only like an hour and a half a night.

He’s only out there half the time

Yeah they need him to be mobile

No lawn chairs in the coaches box.

Blew out his knee.
They said he hurt his knee or something running to third one day and needs an MRI
aggressive baserunning policy extends to coaches
simple would be a HR you douchenozzle
yeah, that wasn't a strike
Victor Martinez is why I want Jeff Clement to catch even if he sucks at it
catcher defense is highly overrated

the only position you can say that of

Just look at last year's Padres
That and every Seattle LF
So we actually got out of the inning without falling behind.
Dammit Lopez.

Why must you give me false hope!? WHY!?

You have false hope still?

I fully expect a GIDP.

Isn't this where you pinch run Cairo or Bloomquist?
No, Lopez isn't that slow
Lopez isn't super slow, but it's not like he can steal a base when you need to.
Whoa

I just loaded up Gameday. I’m disappointed to see Vidro (2 for 3, 2 RBI, BB) and Wilkerson (3 for 3, BB) doing well? That’s like reverse schadenfreude.

No, just perspective.
Maybe it is a sign they are getting the picutre of how bad their jobs are in jeopardy.
Uh.... iono about you guys but I wouldn't feel the least bit bad about voting Loafie for All-Star
Way ahead of ya
why no runner?

isn’t this what Bloomquist is the mayor of?

faggotry?
Always a hilarious word
Lopez isn't that slow
c'mon baldy!
Over / under on Mac holding JJ out for a save?
How do you do an over under on that?
That was my exact comment but since you asked,

O/U Yes

Torgaldsen's modified algorithm

It’s pretty complicated, but you’ll get there.

Isn't that a Corco thing?
Raul's missed a lot of hittable pitches tonight
OPPOSITE OF LAST YEAR ZOMG
Do you mean

he hit a lot of missable pitches?

WENT NUTS IN CLEVELAND

IN THE MIDST TWO OTHERWISE SHITTY MONTHS

More false hope :(
Raul!

So how are they going to fuck this up?

Does Beltre bunt here?

Should I stab myself for even asking?

Bite your tongue

off.

chances we score... <1%
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
PROBABILITY DEFIED
it's good to be wrong once in awhile
Raul-y time!
This one'll be priceless
BELTRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUNK BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!! ADRIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHAFHAGHWOIHGAWGH!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah so I just stabbed myself right in the eye
Which one
Why?
jw
If you must know I didn't really stab myself in the eye

but I did punch myself in the cock

take that pessimists!
There are no pessimists when Adrian Beltre comes to bat

except Pirata Morado but he’s a weirdo

BELTRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP RUINING IT =(
Dammit... The one time I check the gamethreat =(
King mother fucking awesome
YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

BELTRE 4 FUCKING MVP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A .900 OPS in Safeco and a 3B gold glove?

It’s unfair if he doesn’t get it if he can keep this up, however unlikely that is.

Please resign him.
Funny how they're not going to re-sign him

but they re-signed Johjima.

Wait, no, it’s the opposite. Horrible.

I wonder what happens if we say we don't want Beltre resigned
OH MY GOD WE HAVE A 9TH INNING LEAD!!!!!!!!!!
HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME
Rec'd

Do you and EM share a computer?

...Jesus Jeff.
He has earned the right to make me his canvas
Apparently you havent been here for Felix Day
also rec'd

and seconded

HOLY SHITS BELTRE AHOSIDLFASDFIWEFWFW
WOOO!

King Awesome!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is raw fucking power

Anyone who says Beltre did roids is an idiot.

Who said Beltre did roids?
Like a zillion people
Well fuck them.
or HGH

I do… on a nearly daily basis.

Along with Brady Anderson, and anyone else that suddenly doubles their HR output in a contract year, and then goes back to their normal production levels.

Like Davey Johnson or Tip O'Neill
Not to be a dick

But how would steroids have helped Beltre at all? It’s not like lack of strength was his big problem.

Perhaps the roid rage gave him the anger to hit all those home runs
a ton of people,

pointing to 2004.

Ha, just came back out of bathroom

to see that, thought for sure it wasn’t a HR, thank you King awesome

That was pretty great
the indians commentators remind me of our guys

they just see the fail in their team and it hurts them

Dude, wait until the 3rd out.

“It’s like jacking off before sex.”

Last time someone jumped the gun, Putz almost blew a 5-1 lead.

Save situation = totally different.
But he didn't blow it
It was damn well close enough.
But he didn't blow it
Yeah, got that the first time.
I don't believe it.

Make Beltre do it again.

KING AWSOME

can have my children. not with my sperm, either… he can fuck my wife and i’ll raise the children. FUNK YEAH.

if only your wife read this...
I retract the MELTDOWN
STRIKE OUT

now I don’t feel the least bit bad about rooting for Turbo failure

God damn I love Beltre
That ball was King Awesome Bombed!
Tim McCarver says that's a rally killer.
It DID kill the rally

do you SEE anyone on base?

No, but...erm...damn

I made Tim Mac sound reasonable didn’t I.

Heh

I remember that comment. That’s one of the few times I think I’ve seen Joe Buck respond in a way that indicates he’s human.

Why does Vidro try to be a power hitter...

he has the strength of a little girl

BUT HE HIT TWO DOUBLES TONIGHT HIS JOB SHOULD BE SAFE RITE?
Man

Beltre is so unclutch.

Actually he’s on pace for like 30 HR and 65 RBI with a .940 OPS for the season. Sucks how things are without runners on ahead of you.

Can we Corco the all star voting for Adrian and Loafie?
This might be a brilliant idea
Corco at your service
HIS WALKS ARE SELFISH AND THEY COST RBIS
That was quite the surprising homer.
I didn't think that had enough to get out, honestly.
If the Mariner make any kind of run to the playoffs

Beltre should be a legit MVP candidate.

No doubt in my mind
He should be anyway

Right now he’s playing better than 99% of the majors

And by that I mean

if people were doing 1st month MVP shit he should be there

You guys are jinxes

He’s gonna slump now you smurfing smurfholes.

Thanks.

FALSE HOPE

Until there is a F beside the score.

HR RICHIE!!!???

double, whatever

Almost FB 300 for Richie.
Even Perlozzo would've rounded the bases

By the time Sizemore picked that up. Richie runs like a glacier.

OMG CAIRO SIGHTING!
Cairo sighting!

Perhaps his last sighting with the big club

Thought that might be gone
Christ Mac

can you go ONE game without making a fucking moronic decision?

He already hit Vidro fifth.

...and used Rhodes over RRS

can you go ONE game without making at least three fucking moronic decisions?!
....pinch hitting for Wilkerson is Bloomquist!?
HAHA WFB pinch hitting for Wilk

because it’s a lefty, I hate Mcsquinty

Sexson's shoes are kind of weird looking
Has Cairo had an at bat yet?

Like seriously.

Really dedicated to that platoon, eh, Squints
It's his first time.
at least don't relace Raul for defense

...

Except with Sean Green, the one guy it might help
Why was that girl crying?
why would mac sub willie now
Why would you put Cairo in?

Unless he plans to play Norton at first? HUH?

WHY IS WILLIE UP WTF WTF WTF WTF

Cairo stole third?

Wow.

Cairo stole a base?
man I forgot Cairo was on second and not Richie.

I thought Richie was going for third.

Richie is pretty fast

As evidenced by MLB 2k7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INR4hQ8U948

That clips on my myspace

Glitch of the year.

willie bats for Wilk

because Brad only reached base 4 times.

HAHAHA CAIRO SB!!

WHY WOULD YOU EVER INTENTIONALLY PINCH-HIT WILLIE????
hes the catalyst
What a steal!!!!!!!
Please pop it up WFB

And get picked off, Cairo.

We need a save opportunity.

Cairo did that in protest of his playing time

he’s just gonna do whatever the fuck he wants

well if he's gonna have that attitude

I hope he gives McLaren a swift kick in his old man ball’s for me

balls* no possessive...
Yeah

I hope he possesses Mac’s old man ball as well.

Maybe that's why Willie is batting

RH batter to screen the steal?

OOOHHHH deep strategy....
Validation

Miguel Cairo spent four plus weeks on the roster for that! Woohoo!

So Wilk has his best game as a Mariner.

Willie PH’s for him.

Sweet tits our manager is a moron.

Whatever

if he’s convinced that the platoon is correct (which he apparently is), then this is the obvious move.

It's obvious, but I can bitch about it if I want to
In disturbing news

Hulk Hogan rubbing oil on his daughter’s crotch…

He is an oil addict.

Pics or it didn't happen
They're not hard to find

I’ve seen them.

Do not post them here

thank you

K

Was just about to when I saw this.

For the record, shes wearing a bikini.

That makes it better(?)
Dude, I wasn't serious

/meme.

I saw that

He also has a GF that looks disturbingly a lot like his daughter. Weird and wild stuff man.

his wife?
he and his wife are seperated

he has a GF and she’s like more than half his age

PICS

http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=5562

Dude

I sooo didnt post this!

and I so didn't click through
Haha yeah

I clicked cancel…or so I thought. Oh well.

I ran across it on a pretty decent site. Disturbing stuff.

this is a nice AB for willie
What's scary is that that's actually a true statement
If Wilkerson isn't hurt, this is the worst managerial decision of all time
actually not pinch hitting for willie the other day was the worst
all time?

There have got to be worse ones

Listening to Tacoma

they’re interviewing Wlad right now…..

USSM reporting that Wlad and Clement are out of tonights game

And tells us to do the math.

but but but... Wilk and Vidro had such good games today...
Jesus H. Christ

our FO has issues. Ten more days and they get another year out of both players.

The team could always send Balentien and Clement back down to the minors for 10 days at any point before 2011 and the service time thing would become a non-factor

Who really thinks that's going to happen?
Miguel Cairo?
that's how grievances get filed
meh, they wouldn't amount to anything
not if they're sucking
dumb dumb dumb

but less dumb then leaving the vets to decay in front of our eyes, so, yay?

who do you have in the pool?

I say Cairo and Lowe

I'd bet in favor of this
Holy shit

OK, so who is demoted? Norton and Cairo?

Probably a pitcher and Norton.
Welcome to two hours ago!
Wlad is still with the Rainiers

He was just interviewed.

squeeze would be perfect here.
Kenji would pop it up to 3rd
Man that plate appearance was awesome
Willits impersonation.
Too many swings
Not enough bunting
I propose we allow Corco to use his powers on the All Star Ballots to get Beltre starting 3B in the ASG.
just pray for the Arod injury to be more severe
Loafie too. Loafie is really having a good season so far
It pained me

To vote for Kotchman at 1B…

Then don't. Write in Jeff Clement at first
Too late... :'(
I will kill everything if Clement ends up as a first baseman
Wow. Nice AB from Willie
squeeze you worthless sack of crap
"Ballgame erases the possiblity of a double play"

Don’t be so sure.

HUSTLE GRIT!!!!
STOP SWINGING

NO STRIKES WERE THROWN JESUS CHRIST KENJI

Kenji you worthless piece of scum.
Hey, how did we know THAT would happen
Adrian Beltre = greatest Mariner third baseman ever

If he is not signed to an extension I will stab Bill Bavasi in the face.

You'll have to wait for Red to finish with Bavasi first.
which reminds me

I think Paul’s neck is safe re: HoRam.

I can live with that.
nope, extensions for sexson, vidro, washburn, rhodes

but not beltre, that would make Bavasi-sense

So fucking worthless.
hes breaking my real and fantasy balls
That's out Kenji.
That's OUR Kenji.

Crud.

You probably said it right the first time.
Well the first way could imply he hit a home run

and we all know that’s not happening…

Nice game Kenji
holy oh my shit.
THATS BALL FOUR WTJLKFJSAD
second hypothetical walk of the day for Kenji
This inning is still going?
where is Pat Borders when ya need him?
Kenji Johjima is bad at his job
Maybe he'll recover

If M’s players are Nintendo franchises, maybe Kenji is Mario Party.

His initial release was good

and then we got 2 years of marginal improvements followed by 5 years of rehashed crap?

Kenji heard my plea

For save opportunity. Cut him some slack.

Damn you Yun'z
he must be giving good blow jobs to management

because he’s definitely worth 8 million a year on his baseball skills so far

"Here come Willie, They'll never get him!"
YUNIWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK so save some of this offense for tomorrow

Then again Cliff Lee, regression is a bitch and her mother is coming for you.

I'm sure that's what the Tribe was

saying about Silva

YuniGoodness
Yuni is very good
YUNI!

I’m strangely ambivalent about this…

this feels really, really, really

good.

mariners scoring more then 2 runs what is this bizzaro world
That wasn't a smart throw, Peralta.
Ichi-balls!
Move to the bullpen?

God baseball is retarded. The game’s over dude.

Oh, it's Loafie time

STOP IT THE GAMES OVER JUST LEAVE HIM OUT THERE GOD

I'm confused

i didn’t know we were also allowed to score runs late in a game.

i didn't know we were allowed to score runs...
Home team rules

for some reason Cleveland’s favor us

It is a hit parade a parade made entirely out of hits

This is confusing

Holy crap there's nobody left in the stadium
Are you sure there were people to begin with?
I think you mean Cleveland
has anyone ever watched a game from a blimp?
via USSM comments

RyMac79 Says:

What about Tuiasosopo?
Could he come up too?

Poor Graham.

Only if its Marques
Marques sucks
I will rape your daughter
Doesn't mean Marques doesn't suck.
ALL ABOARD THE ALEX BRINK EXPRESS
If I cared about how the Cougs did at football that would hurt.
you take that back
What's he gonna play? Quarterback?
Poorly
The 2001 Rose Bowl says hello
as does that one game where he threw for 300 and ran for 200
So does Jerramy Stevens

from jail!

Maybe, but he's still a bust.
I wasn't aware being a career backup was being a bust

When you were selected to be a backup with the 58th pick

Hahaha I love how emotional everyone is for this guy. :)
we defend our alma mater
I'm just defending a great player

From a program I hate the most.

the 2001 season says hello

tui was one of the greatest UW QBs ever

He just didn’t have NFL skills.

Which are the skills that matter
incorrect

they aren’t all that matters.

That team is the only team of mine to not end the season with a cockpunch

That’s all that matters

that was before my UW time >:(
Tui isn't remembered for his Raiders legacy.

He’s remembered for one of the greatest seasons in UW history in which he did not suck. At all.

pointless argument

I guess steve emtman totally blows too

Not really

Dennis Dixon isn’t a pro-style QB.

Doesn’t mean he sucked.

Troy Smith and Eric Crouch won the Heisman

They didn’t suck either.

translation he sucks
being one of the greatest UW qbs ever isnt saying much

other then warren moon and mark brunell no qb worth anything has come outta there

The Raiders never gave him a chance you asshole.
Well, he was never going to be a good NFL QB

but yeah…

I have no idea what this means.
Local duck fan says

You funny Brett.

You know what Marques would've been good in?

A spread offense :D

They've memorized his sleep cycles.
Tui, Clement, and Wlad

all getting the day off today according to Curto.

That better be all it is

expect me to completely reverse my tune in ~2 weeks.

It probably is now

no way they bench Vidro and Wilkerson after tonight.

well you would think if they're moving Clement up

that they’d have another backup catcher added to Tacoma’s roster, and there’s no sign of that… leaving them with Johnson and Clement as the only two on the roster.

Honestly I don't think they'd call them up during a road trip anyway
Flights are getting more expensive...
Curto just said

he asked Brown about Clement and Wlad, and he just said that Brown said he’s just giving them a day off today, but Curto said he wasn’t convincing…. his feeling is something is going on and could happen in the next day or two.

I don't know why but I have more faith in the organization than that
yeah they're probably being

packaged together in a trade.

See that's much more reasonable

Welcome to the party, Cliff Floyd.

I was thinking

Ken Griffey Jr.

I was gonna go with

Bronson Arroyo

Good luck snatching veterans from Dusty Baker
True.

Welcome back Randy Winn.

That reminds me;

On wikipedia, around the time of his release, John Olerud was labeled as a “fan favorite.”

Veterans from Sabean is harder than veterans from Baker
Wow,

And I thought WE were going to fall apart late in the game.

Peralta just wants to continue this game

Is he serious

This game should be making me smile.

But it isn’t.

Me neither

I should be estatic about this inning. But I’m not. I’m just meh.

need more Beltre need more Beltre need more Beltre need more Beltre
REVERSE MELTDOWN!
the fan is booing
Com'on Cleveland, I want to move onto other things tonight.
This is the face of a middle infielder

did he eat a middle infielder?
as is this

he got powdered sugar all over himself
I laughed
is that Pablo Ozuna?
Juan Uribe?
Jake Woods?

Wait, what’s this list about?

Roll Fizzlebeef?
Chuck Groundsteak?
The fat Latino pictured above with the White Sox cap??
Dammit Raul.

Either hit a grand salami or get out.

I'm sorry Joh.

Not even I can defend you anymore. Where’s Clement?

HOLY CRAP!
seconded
I want him to do well, and he's still my favorite

player, but he’s hurting the team way too much.

Did you grow up over the weekend?

Did you have your first beer?

THE FUCK HOW CAN A WIN BE SO PAINFUL
This inning is now making my gums bleed.
THANK YOU RAUL!
You suck, Ibanez.

I wanted to see the whole lineup bat around.

Funny you say that

I wanted to see not our whole lineup bat around.

Even if Ibanez got the hit and the rally continued

Joh would have killed it anyhow

who cares would've seen more beltre
OK

remember how earlier I asked O/U on leaving the bases loaded this year?

There’s another one

God bless us, every-one.
What's with people hating us actually winning a game?
It confueses us.
I don't think we hate the win

Just that Vidro and Wilk played well enough to start for another two-plus weeks.

That's good

we want them to play for the next two weeks.

The problem there though, is if they play well then we won't get Clement and Balentien in two weeks.

And really we only need another 8 days to solve the service time issue

If these guys are bad they will play themselves out of a job

it’s not worth worrying about what they do in individual games. Today we won. Be happy.

Oh I'm happy.

The losing hurts way more. This is annoyance at certain players, not anger or sadness

Still, Joh fucked it up more

Hopefully it’s only a matter of time till Clement.

Adrian Beltre has a .962 OPS
EXTENSIONEXTENSIONEXTENSION!
yespleaseyesplease
Not old enough
he's not crappy enough
But, but, Tui!
Move Tui to left or something.

Keep King Awesome.

internet sarcasm yo
KA FOR LF!!111!!11!
Pffft he's still a bust. He's so unclutch
Brett likes making friends

Just as much as Vidro likes making Tempeh.

Sarcasm is hard to detect on the internet isn't it?
Did you detect mine?

I just wanted to throw in a Vidro Tempeh joke.

I wasn't sure, but wanted to be clear that I was not a Beltre hater.
Yeahhh uhhh

Know you too well.

Too many new people around here, I'm losing track.

I just want to water my lawn shirtless and in shorts without any of ya’darn hoodlums runnin’ around

Whatever happened to Shin Soo Choo?

Is he stuck as a fourth outfielder?

Tommy John surgery
stuck at suck
BUT HE WAS ANOTHER ICHIRO
WITH POWER
ICHIRO CAN HIT A HOME RUN WHENEVER HE WANTS
Acute talentlessness
Don't fuck this up for us Lowe
GOD DAMMIT END ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!
this feels more like it

dread, anxiety, sublimated anger

Oh Yuni, you slay me
Hahaha

Yuni jumps up on the tarp

it's only 10:15 Dave

it’s not late.

Just because our faggot catcher drops it doesn't mean it's not a strike
OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shit I hope we don't blow it in the 10th.
Mariners win.

Neato.

Ballgame, bitches
This was the most GTE-sapped GT ever.
losing games the way we have can do that to you. we're not used to this comfortable win stuff
Did KA go 1-1, 1 HR, 3 RBI?
Yay!

Beltre POTG?

Or Silva?

Beltre was way more panther

Panther!!!!

PANTHER!!!!!!

Anyone notice

Wlad hit 3 home runs last night?

My God I hope he is called up.

Does Olney know somethin'?

Apologies if somebody already mentioned this in a previous thread, I didn’t see it mentioned at all…

Anyway, I was scrolling through Buster Olney’s chat and found this little exchange.

“victor monroe,la: when do you think ken griffey will get 600career home runs

SportsNation Buster Olney: Victor: Sometime in the next three weeks—and then he’ll be shipped off to Seattle.”

Is he just putting 2 (Reds’ sucktitude) and 2 (M’s anemic offense) together, or does he know something?

I swear, if the M’s loose Aumont, Triunfel, Wlad or Clement over this…

Oh. Duh.

Two questions later…

“Joe (CO): Re: Griffey. Do you think he is going to be traded back to Seattle or were you just making a joke?

SportsNation Buster Olney: Joe: No, I do think he’s going to be traded bac k to Seattle. Purely speculation on my part, I have no concrete information, other than knowledge of the basic parameters in play—Cincinnati wants to get more athletic with its corner outfielders; Griffey has made no secret of the fact that he wouldn’t mind going back to Seattle; the Mariners need left-handed hitter and a right fielder, and Griffey would fit; and I think everyone involved would work to make it happen. Again, it’s a guesstimate on my part, but it makes a lot of sense for everybody.”

I’m going to go hide behind Vidro if anybody needs me.

I wonder if there's any chance Griffey can be had for a warm body

if the M’s agree to pay the rest of his contract this season. I’d assume what would happen then is that they’d renegotiate and buy his contract out at the end of the year then sign him for like $1M for 09 for a total salary of $5M (counting the $4M buyout)

Or does this just make entirely too much sense to ever happen?

Maybe the M's can find Pokey Reese

Sign him, and send him to Cincinnati as the warm body. Oh wait, Bowden is running the Nationals now. Hmm…perhaps Nick Johnson can be snagged this way.

Troy Tulowtizki kills fantasy baseball teams.

Discuss.

Too painful

I turned down McGowan for Tulowitski. Right now I’m starting Eric Aybar over him. Desperation knows no bounds.

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