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Lookout Landing

4/30: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Expected outs when Wilkerson comes up: 1
Number of outs in Balentien's 2008 debut at bat: 2

Welcome to the team!

0 recs  |  778 comments

Comments

I can see it now.

If the offense doesn’t score enough runs to win, Wlad is going to get blamed.

Wlad fitting in already.
That was pretty

low and away all day to Beltre.

Cliff Lee's repeatable skills at work
Yikes.

Pretty wide strike zone today…

Fuck you Vidro.
Vidro at second?

yeeeesssssss

Just when you thought Miguel Cairo couldn’t be more irrelevant .

but he tells great jokes...
I enjoyed the CC interview
That was Cy Cy
Smilin' like a one-eyed cat in a seafood store

What?

Just about to ask that same question

why is a one-eyed cat happier than a two-eyed cat?

It's from the original lyrics to "Shake, Rattle and Roll"

And for the ‘50s, the lyrics are filthy

God damn these guys are old school
seriously

what an obscure reference

at least it's a alfway decent song
wow, that is pretty filthy
Holy mother of God

I just got to see all the images in the game recap thread.

Well done, LL. Well done.

Sims just lost his job.
Say what?

I’m getting the CLE feed.

what did he say?
He was talking about Griffey and 600 homers.

He mentioned both Bonds and Sosa as members of the 600 club.

that is bad news
Bud's secret police should remove him soon...

Kind of like the purges.

Sosa's nickname should be Corko.
I disapprove

I may cheat but I do it legally

Can we surrender this early in the game.

A 1-0 deficit is possible to come back from, but 2-0…. this team is in serious shit.

We have never come back from a 2 run defecit this year.
Seriously??

Game over.

but... but...

Wlad is going to hit at least two homeruns tonight.

So is Grady Sizemore...

and Ryan Garko, Casey Blake, and Franklin Gutierrez.

Wow, from pounding the strike zone to a 4 pitch walk

in one inning. Way to stay consistent, Washburn.

he's consistent in his inconsistency
KING...

nevermind

that was not awesome
Well this is all kinds of not good...
well one of Krueger's keys hasn't happened
Someone spike that drummer's budweiser
I wish we had someone pounding on drums at The Safe.... errrr, Libery Mutual.
Liberty*
For the record, Safeco keeps its name.
It's OK...Washburn strikes outt he side to end the inning...
damn you Beltre!

Game...Set...Match...
Fuck

Put that contract extension for Beltre on hold.

love 1-2 centered fastballs
86 mph FB down the middle of the plate!

Seriously, wtf Washburn?

fuck

we are not following Krugers keys to winning.

fucking drummer asshole
At this rate Wash will be lucky to get 5 innings.
Ah the feeling of insurmountable anguish
"No sirree" he says over a mint julep
Oh He GOT HIM YEAH
HI JARROD THROW A FUCKING STRIKE THANKS
We need a bad baserunning triple play.
ICHRIO I LOVE YOU LET ME HAVE YOUR MANBABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the fuck kind of bullshit??

At least Ichiro is still awesome

AHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAH!
Nice slide, Blake

You fail at life.

And yet

he gets paid $6.1 million

What a fucking toss
ICHIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jarrod Washburn is a shitbag.
but Ichiro is awesome.
Sit the fuck down
you just got

ICHI-OWNED

That makes up for the bullsmurf hit, to be honest
seriously that was unbelievable
Seriously, even Slampig would have scored on that hit.

What was Blake doing?

It would look like this, though.

Exactly.

Sliding into home is stupid. If you come in standing up, the catcher is going to hesitate and he is more likely to miss the ball, even if your intention is not pound him into the ground.

But on a bloop hit like that, Blake should have been halfway to homeplate by the time the ball landed.

Blake would've been safe if the throw weren't 100% perfect

which it was

Yeah, but he should have been in the dugout before Ichiro even got a throw off.

Amazing arm by Ichiro, but slow ass baserunning on the part of Blake.

I won’t complain, though. I am happy things turned out the way they did.

this is why leadoff walks are really stupid
I always forget what a cannon

Ichiro’s got.

never run on ICHIRO

its just not a good idea kids

Where did that first pitch miss?
low apparently
that guy got Ichirowned back there

Let’s all pitch in and buy Jeff a loveseat btw

I have an unsanitzed broomstick with the drum guy's name on it.
Seriously he's aggravating my hangover
80 pitches in the 4th

awesome

10 bucks says Baek will replace him.
he'd have to be arming up first
Maybe as the trade deadline approaches...

The M’s can spin off Washburn to a pitching starved team whose GM suffers from Sabeanitis. It’s not like R.A. Dickey would do any worse, and at least he’d last longer.

Sabean did just send a veteran lefty to the pen.

He could use another one.

I would personally buy and hand deliver him a fruit basket

when I’m in SanFran if he took Wash off our hands.

There's only two of those teams left and one of them's us
'stos?
by that, I meant "the Astros?"
Washburn isn't a reliever.
Giants
I miss Dave Littlefield already.
The Pirates have a better front office than we do
I know

There’s no one to take on the Matt Morris’ of the world.

I am so far beyond embarrassed
The crazy thing is

I used to love Matt Morris.

yeah, I know, I was just saying,

what about the Astros?

See: Goose's comment
6 ks?

now its just funny

Wlad is coming up!
No matter what Wlad does, it will be in vain.
Richie, you can't catch up to anything at your belt

just take those pitches and hope they get ruled high

T-Rex?

Is it me or does Richie look like he has Tyrannosaurus Rex arms swinging at the ball? Seems like all this year he has pulled in his elbows and then swing. How could that possible generate any kind of power ?

Okay, having Wlad in the lineup is nice, but was anyone expecting to win this game anyway? It’s Jarrod Washburn vs. somehow-freakishly-good Cliff Lee.

Knowing that theres no way Lee continues to pitch as well as he is

I was holding onto some hope… but yesterday’s game made me forget about how awful our offense is

I wasn't expecting to win a game this series.

Then last night happened. But yeah, this game is over.

I am now

(not really)

Wlad infield hit.

Can’t say I was expecting that.

Wlad

yeah yeah

Woo

Wlad single!

Nice hustle Wlad

He’s swinging ahead of everything so far but he’ll adjust.

I'd rather see him swinging ahead of pitches

than be Richie-late.

Well there's a difference between being slightly ahead and egregiously late

ala Sexson.

woo hoo a hit!!
I still have no idea why people think young players are huge ?s

but veterans are a sure thing. It makes no goddamn sense.

WLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Incidentally how’s he looked in the field tonight?

Washburn is striking out too many guys to tell
Welcome to the Twilight Zone.
so more than one?
Just looked at the boxscore

Jesus Cristo

Not many chances.
awesome

and by awesome i mean he hasn’t had a play other than fielding a bloop single.

he hasn't had a ball hit to him in the air yet, I don't believe
He made a nice throw in warmups
double play time
God FUCK YOU KENJI!
OK Johjima.

Redemption starts right here. HR down the line, right here.

****.
we should trade him to the Angels
Kenji is getting better.
Better than what? Cairo?
Joh's improving... it wasn't a DP
Made it ouf of the infield atleast
Yuni-bomb please

k, thx.

Not quite, but it'll do!
Alright let's get a Yunibomb right here
ichiro up... we have a chance
Time to DOUBLE his ERA!
Kenji is turning into the Mariners version of Vin Baker

Or Jim Mcilvaine.

I can't even remember a time

when Vin Baker was good.

don't fucking fuck this up
ok ICHIRO!!!

its 3 and a half hours till its officially may.

time to go on a hitting streak

Ichiro, snap out please, like now
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's times like this when I wish the thread wasn't ahead of the MLTTV feed.
You could always wait until the inning changes...

That wouldn’t be very sporting though

consult the disclaimer

read game threads at your own risk

Oh I'll well aware

as is Smurfette

I hereby formally invited Cliff Lee to suck my ass.
tradeichiro.com
real site!
Heresy of the highest!

Unless the Mets are stupid enough to give us David Wright.

Who then plays CF?

And what do we do with Beltre?

I don't know man

I’m method GMing, trying to visualize deals like Bavasi would…

Needs more Everett
goddamnit ichiro.
We should have traded Ichiro while his value was high.

Maybe we can still get Justin Upton in return?

Didn't the Dodgers offer Gary Sheffield for him during Spring Training '01

Best move Pat Gillick never made.

Not possible.

Ichiro would not be trade eligible until June 1st after signing a contract.

Are you sure?

Is that a requisite for all free agent signings?

Yes.

This is not the NBA with sign-and-trade capabilities.

doom and gloom

here we go again. gonna hit into a double play… as usual.

Eeyore had problems

we’re just realisitic

Eric Wedge is giving Travis Hafner a mental break?

Maybe that’s F’nA’s problem. His mental break never ended.

Why am I watching this game
Go to hell Washburn.
Again Washburn gets no run support
Hardly any of our starters are getting run support.
Baek is warming up.
Washburn over 90 pitches. Implosion time looming.
about smurfing time Baek got up!
wtf

hahahahahahahaha

Watching Washburn and Baek work together to go 6+ innings

is like watching a Wilkerson-Bloomquist platoon.

That was a Beltre at bat, only without the underlying ability
I like the new non-crazy Beltre.
But seven in one game?

Then again, how do you explain the other six?

dave just said:

“swung on and a hiiiigghh.. swung on and missed i should say”

time to hang ‘em up.

Ks are nice for good pitchers.

This is just counterproductive for Washburn.

Man that is an ugly slide-step.
At least can say Washburn has been a good 4th starter.

Too bad our offense sucks.

Spoke too soon...

Sigh

The divine power(s) that be have decreed the Indians hitters must suffer (somewhat)

They seek judgment for the horrific Chief Wahoo characterization, and Jarrod Washburn is their blunt instrument.

Fuck this.

This game is over

fuck you Washburn you shit bag
You suck, Raul
Alright, he fielded that better than I thought

but he still sucks

C'mon really,

Did anyone think we had a chance today?

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
ok why is wash still in?

oh right, because Mac has an IQ of 2

Screw this...sub Clement in at C for the rest of the game...at least let us have some fun...
Garko sucks. He'll somehow find a way to hit into a triple play.
You only need 2.

And it’s possible he would have, but Wash didn’t give him a chance.

I think I'll watch one more Wlad at bat, then I'm done with this game.
Bye, bye, Wash.
eject him!!!
JEFF CLE-MENT

clap clap clapclapclap

Fucking hell Washburn

Go sit down in the fucking bullpen and never start again.

also, excellent choice of music to mock us with
Yeah, I approve

a little more clever than “Hit the road, Jack”

Here comes the Baekeinator.
"Garko's been on base ev-

...well, the sac fly, but then the walk and the hit by pitch!”

senility is most common in people named "Dave"
Garko is a pansy.

It’s not like that was a 100 mph Randy Johnson fastball.

Expected Lee performance + Expected Washburn performance = Expected Result.
I'm sad we have to suffer through another year of Washburn.
2... this one's not over yet
here we go again

You mean,

Maybe I will work on fixing this up instead of watching the game.
I rushed home to see Wlad

I seem to have forgotten what the other 24 players are like

Beltre is good.
I knew I was smart
Blowers: "Right now he needs to get a double-play ball"

Why does he HAVE to get a Double-Play ball? Why not a strike out and a ground out? Why not a pop-up and a fly-out? Why not 2 Ks?

Blowers has poor language skills.
GTA 4 time?

I think so.

Insurmountable
We hit that point when we were down by two runs.
hmmm

I thought Ichiro was gonna pull that one in

You're way too optimistic
Baek is still a Mariner?
Fuck..and the Wizards beat the Cavs...fuck tonight in the face with a hammer
...

How is that…I mean how would that wor….nevermind.

I just turned this game on....

FUCK YOU WASHBURN YOU FUCKING CUNT

We'd still lose if Washburn had only given up that solo HR in the first...so I dont blame him

Ok..I do…but this offense is built so poorly. And Vidro lost his job, but he can still bat 5th when he does play.

Like I said I just turned the game on

So Cliff Lee may be good (or our offense blows, or both) but my first instinct looking at this score is to say fuck Washburn.

That wasn't even a bad pitch.

Slider on the outside corner…

This looks just like Cleveland's 9th inning yesterday.
our team is an anus stuffed with used douchebags
Our team is the city of Cleveland?
Just tuned in,

Yay Washburn!

Thank God the Flyers aren’t letting me down. Yet.

On the plus side, Wladimir's up from AAA.

So’s Clement, but WLAD’s starting.

Course, the way this game's going, Clement will probably be in before too long.
Yeah I saw that.

I like the single, dislike the double play.

Dislike the no-Clement sighting. He’s hitting a pinch-hit HR later

Why do we give a flying fuck about the Cavs game?
I really really hate half the Wizard players with a passion

And I thoroughly enjoy watching Lebron play.

You enjoy watching him piss and moan after each and every play?
I'm not talking about the entire San Antonio team
Point taken. Lebron as an individual is worse than Duncan and Co. as a group.
See Manu "I have pussitis" Ginobili
Yeah that's gonna have to stop or he'll be my least favorite player

And seriously FUCK THE SPURS.

Hate the refs for encouraging it to happen
I just hope the Hawks lose to the Celtics

Bill Simmons does not need another upset to bitch about for the next six months.

I love Bill...but he deserves it...all Boston fans deserve it...they've gotten to cocky with the Sox and Pats.
I hope for the reverse
pile on boys, at least make it hilarious
What the fuck at least get a couple runs off Lee.

This guy’s luck needs to take a walk

this is fucking rediculous
Mercy rule inning
The wrong Mariner pitcher is seeing his ERA balloon
Washburn?
Needs to happen to Silva so that idiots shut up
at least they'll start to see that Washburn is really shitty
WE HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH EVIDENCE OF THIS
but he had 7 K's
SILVA TOO BUT MORONS ARE MORONS
I HATE MORONS
YES THEY CAN BE GRATING
Whenever I see a moron I long to hide in the hidden open thread
Can we drop Baek and bring up R.A. yet?
Wilkerson doesn't get to that ball....

Sorry I’m bored already.

nice catch by WLAD
Graham was smart enough to sleep through this one.
These don't even look like terrible pitches

but I haven’t been paying too close attention.

Then where am I supposed to get my opinions from?
Get Bowden on the phone...

Baek, Washburn and Cairo for Nick Johnson or Lastings Milledge. We’ll throw in Harold Reynolds too.

Bowden fleeced us.
It'd be pretty cool.

If we can come back and tie this game….like they seem to do to us every blue moon.

I'd be happy if they just scored some runs off Lee.
It'd take us three games to get to 8 runs...

Maybe 4

Hey look, the innings over. >_>
Bah. To hell with this game.
You lasted longer than I did

and I got home in the fourth.

Free Feir and Dickey
What's the date we start worrying about fantasy teams more than our teams?
Whenever you want

just don’t talk about them here.

Oh yeah sorry Jeff...

forgot about that rule.

Maybe I should open a new fantasy baseball diary
No you shouldn't.
GTA 4 makes me wish I had a 360...

Fuck this game…

If it makes you feel any better

I could play it when ever I want but have interest in doing so.

Have the money but am way too much of a tightwad.
roomate has a 360 and a big screen

but I don’t typically don’t play any post SNES video games

Lucky bastard.

If my roommate had that I’d be mooching it off ‘em at this instant.

Yes good let's talk about bouncyball
BAHAHAH, how appropriate
Right idea,

Wrong part of the field.

unlucky today Beltre
Yeah, NBA playoffs
Fuck Cliff Lee
Fuck George Bu....rton.
So Cliff Lee is having a mighty strange fluke of a month
Best shape of his career.
Good K-BB ratios though.
His peripherals are extraordinary

I just can’t figure out why.

If you don't know, I don't know.
Combo of him being unlucky last year and lucky this year

e.g., the jump in talent btw ‘07 and ‘08 isn’t much, if any

amazing

no serperation b/t FB/CB?
no new arm angle?
etc

err more seperation b/t FB/CH
those are scouting observations

I cannot answer those. I deal with numbers only.

[insert snarky remark about how numbers people never watch the games]
He'd be better if he didn't give up that home run
Yeah, like Joe Morgan- wait
he's throwing more strikes

but missing a few more bats, but not many over ‘07

Also throwing more FB's at the expense of CH's

hmm

I saw somewhere...

He changed something about his 2-seamer and its more of an out pitch now.

Mariners Offense
Was that warning track?
Wlad next inning!
So Baek still sucks fat, fat hindquarters
8-0

let’s talk about Jamey Carroll’s fundamentals. Those seem relevant.

I wish we had Kaz Matsui

it’s be entertaining to listen to the announcers reference “anal fissures” without being able to say “anal fissures’.

time to give the bench some playing time...
Has Baek missed a bat since he came in?
Baek's absolutely terrible in relief.

However, has been decent in both of his starts.

And in relief the other day
With no one in the park..I think he thinks its a bullpen session
Way to move him over, guy who looks like AK's sister
GIVE ME KNUCKLEBALLS
Weirdest promotion ever
OK that drum needs to stop

I’m trying to nap here

poor Mac can't get an ounce of sleep tonight in the dugout
Okay, we need a thread devoted to new Jefficons

This is the double-cockpunch.

Jeff is too excited about that
I would be excited if I got to touch JJ's

errr…. nevermind

Who's the first cockpuncher?
Took this from the official LL images.

Didn’t want to try and attempt to edit out the other guy.

But who's the first dude?
Pinch hit Clement here....

PLLLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEE

Lee's getting a big zone today it seems

That 1-1 pitch has been a ball for Washburn.

3-2 send Turbo!!
Huh

Is the development of Felix Hernandez a sign the M’s as an organization have finally turned the corner in harvesting home grown pitching or did he bludgeon through system incompetence on the strength of his talent? Because I can’t think of a recent solid Mariners starter who came up through the system. Sure, Pineiro and Meche had their uh…moments, but they’re both freaking head cases. And then there’s the long line of Andersons, Blackleys, Nageottes, Cloudes…etc.

It just seems like the M’s are grossly exceeding the defect rate for starting pitching and It’d be nice if Aumont made it to the bigs in one rationally thinking piece…

whoopdie shit
You know what the Mariners like? Grittiness

You know what’s gritty? Outperforming your pythag
You know how to outperform your pythag? GET BLOWN OUT A LOT THANKS WHAT A CRAPPY GAME GUYS

You know how to outperform your pythag? GET BLOWN OUT A LOT THANKS WHAT A CRAPPY GAME GUYS

HHAAAHAAHA

Well

Isn’t this a bunch of shit to come home to? I should’ve went drinking.

it's early
Oh hey look beer in the fridge

I had forgotten about that Hefe

suicide is always an option

no pics plz

Fuck that

The world will share my pain.

We already saw you shirtless
fully dressed suicide pics ok
hang yourself in a trenchcoat
boxers or no?
THERE WILL BE NO SUICIDE

Cancel the celebration

So goes LL chance for mainstream recognitiion.
I'll open the chance to do so

Any takers?

Call English Mariner on game day
We've been over this

dear god no

See

Brett and you can take solace that you at least had your clothes on in your pics.

Wlad, a basehit here would be cool.
THERES YOUR GODDAM HIT!
WLADDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WLADDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUNK BALAST@!!!!
WLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD
WLADDDDDDDDD

AHAHAHHAOShdfkaJHDSKAjdhalkjsdhlkajsdh

WLADDY IS MY DADDY
HAHAHA WILKERSON
EAT SHIT AND DIE CLIFF LEE
THE ERA DONE EXPLODED
0.96!!!
I prefer to think of it as a 391% downgrade
I wouldn't even know how to calculate that.
Typos on a calculator are bad news
SERVICE TIME BE DAMNED!

i heart wlad

WLAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK YEAH WLADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!1
unintentional 1
Holy CRAP that was awsome!!
WLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY SMURFING SMURF!!!!!
Oh so pretty welcome aboard kid
OMG WLAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDD
And with that the tv goes back off.
27 scoreless innings...

DONE.

Look at that power

He popped that pitch up!

WLAD FOR RULER OF EARTH!

BOO YAH! TAKE THAT CLIFF LEE!

IM-MOTHERFUCKING-PALED
REGRESS TO THE MEAN

also guys, why were you all so close together on the bases?

He just earned himself one more at bat!!
And some groupie sex tonight!
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

FUCK CLIFF LEE AND HIS FUCKING ERA. FUCK THAT SHIT. WLAD KCIKS YOUR FUCKING ASS.

God I love you Wlad.
Wlad to Cliff Lee:

“Fuck yo’ ERA”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wilkerson...

GTFO

WLAD'S CAREER OPS IS 2.403
WOAH THIS MEANS HE'LL BE BEST PLAYER EVER!
GOOD GRAVY
About what I expected.
I think I can recall each AB.

Double, flyout, pull home run, double play, infield single, opposite field home run.

Seriously,

That just made my day.

YAY

there Dave Sims

I just blew my wlad
One game.

One more home run than Wilkerson had all Year. He can go o-fer the rest of the year and he had a better season.

freaking kenji
No, Kenji. That won't work as well for you.
Can it be Clement time now please?
This game needs more Clement
This game would be tied

without the washplosion

damn.

Alot of that was Baek, though...
If he never exploded, we would've never needed wlad.
VETERANS AREE HURTZING THIS TEAM BY PLAAYING!!@
Thanks Wlad.

Now we can blame Washburn for today’s loss.

I want me a Balentin jersey
You'll get the buyer's remorse
Better than the buyers or Morse
Just ask the Jose Cruz fans

youth and production mean nothing when you need middle relief help

plus he'll probably change numbers
I was referring to the typo in the name but that also works
I'm not real good with typos.
I'd love to read things with your eyes
That sounds erotic for some reason

eyes are fine, getting things from my brain to my fingers is another story.

I'd love to read things with your neurotransmitters
Oh god

I just synapsed all over myself

I audibly expressed my merriment
I'm going to pretend I don't know what anybody is talking about.
Thats probably the safest bet
BUT JOSE CRUZ JR WAS A BUST !1!!!

LIES
he would be perfect in our outfield
let’s trade kenji for him & put him in left

Be more of a spaz Jensen
WLAD HURTS THIS TEAM BY KILLING RALLIES BY HITTING FUNK BLASTS
WHAT A SELFISH PLAYER

We need a team of selfish players, like Barry Bonds.

NO WHERE TO PLAY HIM
THE THIRD BASE BEHIND THE PLATE
Well...

My day is complete.

If Clement comes up and hits a homer today

I’ll consider it a success.

Sims on Batista's thoughts: 'I didn't want that groin muscle rolling down my right leg.'

Uh

Thats not his groin muscle.....errr
Hey, did you guys hear that A-Rod was on the DL?

.....

I thought we all already knew he was on the down low?
You've been sitting on that joke for 6

A: days
B: weeks
C: months
D: Aztec months
E: years
F: decades
G: Washburn contract lengths

6 Miguel Batista pitches with runners on base
My God you're patient

oh whatever

you know you laughed

at Jeff's retort, yes
(I do the inverse of that joke and it never gets laughs

and yet I continue to do it)

explain the inverse. I'm curious.
some one say "keep it on the DL"

and you say “disabled list?”

and then

[crickets]

I think it's 1/(that joke). Not sure though
But how does it impact everyone's fantasy teams?
Do we need to bump that catch-all fantasy thread, or start a new one?
No, it will ruin this site

Like Tulo has ruined my team….

Change the banner from "Go Rays! (oh, and M's)"

to “Nobody gives a shit about your fantasy team”

That is an excellent idea
DO IT Headmaster
Have you deleted a lot of posts about fantasy teams?

Or am I just lucky enough to miss them all?

I haven't deleted any

I’m just now actively discouraging them.

Absolutely...I just haven't seen a bunch and was wondering if that was the new annoying thing to do
I'd like to point out that in the pregame thread I said that Wlad would regress Cliff Lee's ass tonight

get back to basic photoshop (or mspaint)
I used Paint.net

Lack of artistic talent + notebook touch pad = Horrendous blights the likes of which no mortal eyes have seen.

im actually better with the trackpad
Nobody's going to buy tickets moron
Hey

If we have lots of guys with 15+ RBIs, then we must have lots of relievers with blown saves too

WHY HAVEN'T WE PINCH HIT FOR VIDRO YET?!
END! END!
JEFF FUCKING CLEMENT PLZ
"VIDRO YOU SUCK!!"

hahaha

that was so loud and awesome
you know what sucks more than vidro

nothing

Your mom! Hahahahahahahahahaha...no...
hey

shes a very classy lady, and your lucky to have her

Why is Vidro still playing?

The guy on the mound is most definitely righthanded.

Don't everyone speak up at once, fans
Fuck you Vidro
I say fuck Mac....why not PH Clement...fuck face

The drummer didn’t wake him up in time

Joe's Tracer thinks it was a strike!

World: //ends

Thanks for killing the rally, Vidro

Go suck on some hobo hot dogs.

It will now be mighty difficult for Wlad to get another 3-run homer
Seems like that would have been an ideal spot to put Clement in

and get him an AB…

Way to watch strike 3,

Mr. Professional Hitter.

I thought you said "Mr. Professional Hitler"
I read the same thing
There are a million amateur Hitler's

There’s only one pro.

Can you imagine all the blog criticism when he invaded Russia?

Think of those game threads

IT'S FUCKING WINTER YOU FIVE FOOT CUNT
Hitler was short?

Or are you confusing Napoleon again?

Pretty big for a cunt.
He wasn't Napoleon short

but he was pretty short. In my book anyway.

FIVE FOOT CUNT is my favorite agit-punk band
Here comes the Allied bombing
Speaking of which

Reichroll

Uh...Vidro against a rightie? Perfect chance to sub in Clement...or not...
Jose Vidro can choke on a hot dog and die for all I care.
There's not a hot dog in the world that could block that suck-pipe
It would be funny if in games like this Cairo just screamed out the next pitch during activity lulls
That time-lapse video made Cleveland look so exciting

How utterly dishonest.

Clement sighting!
Whoa, Clement in for Johjima.
Clement in

Replaces Joh.

Clement and Hyphen? Wha?!

I thought they were myths!

RRS for mopup!
okay

now the non-PH is even more odd

a real left fielder would catch that
Good call, Mac. Good call.
HE CAUGHT IT!
Raul didn't though.
I just got back...

How did Washburn get so many strikeouts and give up so many runs?

Everything that wasn't a K was shit
The Indians didn't hit the ball very much but then they did
Two possible outcomes:

strikeout or double.

Wash actually got swinging strikes today
It's the ones he didn't strike out that hurt him.
Nice pitch call stupid
BAHAHA, don't PH Clement

then you put him out there defensively…uhhhhh

uhh... he's still due up

it’s no so bad

but man on...HR needed..not a strikeout from Vidro
then you have to have

Willie or Cairo become the DH…. they weren’t coming back to win this game, so PH’ing doesn’t make much difference.

Why not just leave Clement as DH?
why not just move him to third and get Garko out of the fucking game?
to get him in defensively

give him a chance to play there in a situation that doesn’t matter.

I like Cairo at DH*

*DH implies the Indians took the DH away by playing their 3rd baseman as a pitcher

Clement behind the plate!

Why not

It seems that Mac is capable of learning....a little.
Somebody really wants the Indians to charge
I can tell you who it's not

Our national heroes are so retarded
Custer is a hero?
Americans are stupid so probably
Come to think of it I bet Corco thinks Custer is the man
Corco, acknowledge!
They're mustache buddies
Corco would be 200% more awesome if he had that moustache
is there anyone who wouldn't be?
Eliza Dushku
photoshop imminent
You shall not besmirch the good name of Eliza Dushku
No... but only because I'm lazy
2 * 0 = ?

I guess you’re right?

It would totally fit his face too.
[deleted, OMG NO POLITICS]
Is that really politics though?

18th and 19th Century examples of uh…America’s worst in uniform?

I thought he's on the same pedestal as Benedict Arnold
Which is weird

because they’re about as opposite as you can be

Yeah, there's a distinct difference between criminally idiotic arrogance and treachery
also Arnold was competent
Just morally corrupt.

Then again so was Custer.

Don't worry, he'll have his revenge...

He's such a national hero

He got a video game about raping big breasted Indian women in his honor. That’s when you know you’re a hero.

why does the Pink Panther have boobs?
Next time somebody bitches about videogames as corruptable...

Would someone please point them to this?

I have no idea what the fuck this is supposed to be

it looks like it was drawn by a FAS baby with AIDS.

I'm just surprised AK's sister found employment
I still think she's made up
'tis an old Atari 2600 (I think) game

Custer’s Revenge.

Object of game?

Rape Indian women strapped to the pole.

Like an amoral version of Leisure Suit Larry?
ok, holy shit I thought you were kidding

Wow

In the words of the immortal Dave Chappelle “That’s the most racist shit ever.”

Custer's equipment has 3 pixels.
I sure hope Clement is capable of more than just

15-20 hrs… 45 hrs 2 years from now!

Whats up with Hyphen?
Well, so much for the comeback attempt...
Does anyone in our pen have control?
Somebody left his fundamentals at home
Clement can't catch...the pitcher loads the bases when he catches
Clement induces double plays!!
yep

he’s horrible, shouldn’t even be up here. except to DH.

This is getting on my Marinerves
Never again
What if I tag one of the pictures of you with it?
I will not dignify this with yada yada
I wish RRS didn't suck after notbeing used for two weeks.
There was a hilarious comment about a "Joe Torre Self Fulfilling Prophecy"

but I can’t remember what BP book it’s in.

Needs more bug swarms
YEAH BABY 5-4-3

LET’S GET SOME RUN- oh who am I kidding.

Meh works...

Although I wanted Garko to hit a GS, he’s on my fantasy team…..lol

this isn't funny
i know
then don't post it
I nominate

“lol” (small letters, no bold”

for dead memedom

Nobody cares about your fantasy team or about you as a person
Okay, we have them right where we want them

Now gnats, DESCEND!

Need Kruk to open his old briefcase

love that commercial

Sexson-Wlad-Clement

omg it’s like a real lineup!!

Minus Sexson of course
Sexson on road in 2008 = good
*Turns on game*

: /

Turns off game

You'll miss Wlad/Clement up NOW
I saw the HR

And Clement’s hit.

I just waited until Sexson struck out before turning the game back on.

So Andy Sonnanstine is good
He's the logical choice to return to the bullpen

//ESPN

yea hes finally living up to your excessive hype:P
Sexson K's.

I’d get the surprised face, but it’s too much effort.

go back to walking Richie

your K:BB ratio is starting to look 2007-ish

Let's go Clement, 5 run HR
Clement time.
BOOO MARINERS

GOOOO CLEMENT

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOKED
Players who can hit are cool
Finally a good Jeff on the team
God that was a pretty swing.
I'll take it

Figuring our luck, I thought Grady had that.

sweet merciful death
Jesus that ball was shit on.
Clement has a slow bat
So did Raul

12 years ago.

Game Over.

Whatever, I’m still happy today. At least it was a blowout.

Clement's OPS is over 1.500 points higher then Kenji's
Awe...

Nice try Yuni.

Clement is a fucking G.
Curse those young guys...

Trying to keep us in the game, being able to play defense, etcetera

for an 8-3 game

that was surprisingly quick tempo

Washburn sucks in a hurry
I appreciate that
His wife doesn't.
She probably likes itmore than when

he hangs out w/ 16 yr olds

She was 15.
Are we talking about Washubrn... or Roger Clemens?

haha, Burn

Me too

I actually prefer him to Batista even though he’s worse.

But Batista's bilingual

And a novelist.

Have you ever read his writing?
...

But he’s a mystery novelist!

The mystery is why people pay him money for his books
Why do people buy William Shanter's records?
Because he's awesome?
I don't think LL has enough Star Trek references.
Why do Germans buy David Hasselhoff records?

No seriously, that’s part of my heritage and I don’t understand the allure.

Comedy gold
Have you not seen his version of Rocket Man?
I've seen it.
There are three ways to do things

1. The right way
2. The wrong way
3. The Jarrod Washburn way

The statutory rapist way?
Send these young kids back.

They’ve ruined the team’s harmony.

Brian Bannister's magic doesn't work in Texas

Remember how Graham and I wanted to sign Milton Bradley? He’s got a .922 OPS, which is pretty impressive considering he wasn’t supposed to be healthy for another few weeks.

And the best position player in the AL West’s OPS is .986.

we get Carl Everett, they get...
My desired pitching acq:

Randy Wolf, 3.02 FIP
>:(
>:(
>:(
>:(

So I was supposed to be studying for my finals this whole time...

oh well, whatever, I’m going home.

Same

So screwed tomorrow.

Same

Test worth 100% of course grade…WEEEEEEEE!

...

That’s just diabolical. But at least you could piss away all the weeks leading up to it.

Yeah

But that has lead to a crappy last two days, and I have three more of the same in the next week and a half. I’m just ready for it to end.

At least you didn't sink two classes entirely

Pffttt…Network Security. Like that’s important.

I pissed away the hours before my Physics midterm watching this game...

Wlad’s HW definately made up for lost study time.

It's only midterm for you???
Holy motherfucker.

What class?

Law School

If you are a masochist, it is the place to be.

Law School...Physics....

And I’ve got Nature/Structure of the English Language. Here’s to being trapped at 35k annually for an entire decade when I graduate! Woo!

bye everyone

i just joined today and had a good time here. thx guys.

Good to see you
Tell me, exactly, how pronouncing "Clement" is difficult.
when there's another, more famous ballplayer

who spells it the same way but pronounces it differently?

is it

Clem-ent

or

Clah-ment

?

Matt Cluh-MENT

Jeff CLEH-ment

thank you
Different not Difficent

/Rev Wright.

It is when you're a cave-troll
So was this thing about Clement's "slow bat speed" incorrect?
Don't know

this sure does come up pretty often for something meant to be so innocuous.

Don't watch the speed of the bat.

Watch the way the wrists react when the player realizes they are making contact. A ton of a players power comes from their wrist action.

Ernie Els says Hi.

Not that long looping swings are good for hitting a baseball, but Ernie Els generates a lot of power in his golf swing with a seemingly “lazy” motion. In golf they mention having effortless power instead of powerless effort – I.E. Griffey or Palmeiro

Wasn't it either Dave Cameron or Jason Churchill that started this "slow bat speed" thing?
It was a scout with whom Dave spoke

and it was (is) a completely reasonable point.

reasonable in what way?
That Clement was feeding on soft-tossing lefties who'd never make the show
How does that make his bat speed slow?

I ask this out of complete ignorance

It would mean that his bat was slow enough that he could only punish soft-tossing lefties
Was he not doing so well against hard throwers?

I would think that one would adjust his bat speed depending on who the pitcher is.

That was the theory

and you don’t adjust your bat speed. Your bat speed remains constant. If you have a quick bat, you can punish hard throwers and soft throwers. If you have a slow bat, you can only punish soft throwers (unless you correctly guess when a hard thrower is throwing a fastball).

isn't there an objective way to measure bat speed?
Not that we have access to
its all subjective then?

I just can’t wrap my head around someone who can hit a 92mph pitch 400 feet, having a slow bat. I guess its possible.

I'm not the resident physics major...

But a lot of distance on those swings is supplied by the fast ball as it introduces itself to the bat.

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