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Lookout Landing

5/1: Open Game Thead, Part 3

We do so well in one-run games...

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I really am glad Clement's out that's gone RICHIEEE!!!
FUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Richie single Kenji DP Wlad K
NEVERMIND FUCK YEAH
SEXSON FUNK BLAST!!!!!!
RICHIE FUNK BLAST 300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kobayashi used to be the Chiba Lotte Marines clo-

BIG RICHIE FUCKING SEXSON WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Maybe Joh

will get on and Wlad will hit a 2 run shot?

FUNK BLAST!!!!!!!
RICHIE SEXSON!!!!!!!!!!!1

WOOOHOOOO!!!

RICHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUNK BLAST RICHIE!!
Oh.

Nevermind.

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

oh and #300!!!

fitting that he gets 300 in Cleveland
Great, I click open the new thread and already know that

AWESOME IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Way to open up a new thread, Richie.
SEXSON!!!

GIVE HIM A CONTRACT EXTENSION!!!

LETS NOT SAY THINGS WE CANT TAKE BACK
HOLY

FUCKING
SHIT!!!

BIG SEXY!

I feel so warm and fuzzy whenever we get a chance to post Richie FB photoshops

It reminds me of a time when Big Richie was our obvious go-to guy for the longball. Seems so, so long ago these days.

Kobayashi should stick to hot dogs....
Vidro should go make a friend
Richie!!!! eh your ok
he smoked the dogshit out of that ball
FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKER.

FOUR YEAR CONTRACT EXTENSION!

BEST IDEA EVAR
YEAH

FOR WLAD AND CLEMENT

Wait, am I doing it wrong?

1 Run Lead!

False Hope.

you expect JJ

to blow the save?

Sadly, it has happened before.

Get your JJ Cockpunch photoshops at the ready.

(remember, you set your expectations low so that you can never get truly hurt)

While I'm not expecting it

This will be his first outing since he got nuked and nearly blew that big lead.

Not necessarily

I expect the Mariners to lose.

They usually do.

They usually win too.
True.

But I fear losing. Its the devil.

I always believed in you, Richie!

(At least just for this year.)

Well, congratulations to Richie for #300
Richmond Funk!
Come on Kenji

you destroy Japanese pitching

Looks like Richie is no longer the team's scapegoat
That may be our newly extended catcher
I shouldn't be knocking Bavasi since his pops just died...

...but ain’t it just like him to make an utterly inexplicable/inexcusable move for every decent one? I mean WTF? Why now of all times to extend Kenji?

I think we're giving him the benefit of the doubt that this was ownership mandated

but, man those terms suck

The Sasaki extension was my favorite dumb move ever
That was just mind-numbingly awful.
No I honestly loved that move

Kaz was my favorite player

refusing to pay Mike Cameron FTW
Ownership mandated? What, Nintendo demands more Japanese players?

I’m actually not entirely averse to overpaying slightly for Japanese players – I like the Mariners’ international flavor a lot, actually – but at some point it just becomes self-immolatingly stupid. The Sasake extension being my favorite example.

Kenji is now.
I like to blame Coach when he's around.
Here's to hoping Richie hits another 100 with us

When Bavasi gives him a 4 year extension (You know it’s happening)

25 HR a year? Eh, that might not be terrible...

...if he played a strong defensive second base.

The suckfest continues

With Wilkerson eliminated, who will win? Kenji vs. Vidro

cairo always wins
He has like 2 AB?
Cairo's suckfest "Q rating" is diminished by the fact that he's only a bench player

Only Kenji and Turbo are really in the running here.

Kenji, sadly

At least to this point

By a TON too: He has a .454 OPS

That’s the lowest I’ve seen for a regular for an entire month.

29 OPS+ going into today
By the way, what would Kenji have to do to get to 100 OPS+ this year?
HGH milkshakes
Assuming the same playing time, 5 months of a 114 OPS+
Jesus Christ...his season's already fuckt, isn't it?

What a great time for the extension.

Considering last year he was 101 with a line of .287/.322/.433

Then (depending on league averages) wouldn’t he have to hit like .310/.345/.465 the rest the way? I’m just guessing, no math done here.

Play the rest of the year in High Desert
Well, good thing we pinch ran for Clement
Here's to hoping Wlad doesn't get the golden sombrero.

Nope, but he nearly killed the pitcher with his bat shards.

Not a strike out!

Progress

That has to scare the shit out of you.
Richie passes the Kobayashi Maru test

yes, I go Star Trek for my first ever LL post

PUTZ WOOHOO

Drop the H and we may except you into the community.
Ricie passes te Kobayashi Maru test

yes, I go Star Trek for my first ever LL post

PUTZ WOOOO

by Lents Park omer

Good enough, but you missed one.
FAIL FAIL FAIL
I missed one... not 3
I stand by my woohoo

syntax is not my strong suit in excited yells

Unfortunately, Putz WOOOOOOOOO is an LL-ism

so you don’t get syntax choices. Home team rules

except?
You may have noticed that nobody here can type
It does create a sense of community
My accuracy is actually just a staggering series of coincidences
That's how I describe my career to date
It's also how your parents describe you
I assume my creation no different

“Wait… sperm AND egg? Shit, well I guess we’ll keep it.”

94% of non-Catholic babies are accidents
The other 6% are desperate attempts to save failing marriages
You could not be moree correct.
oyur ang?
inw
It sucks that I scan't reccomend my own posts.
Tats wat se said
I resent that.

I went to Steve Kelley Community College.

So booyah bitches.

Suck it.

Awesome.

Star Trek rules. woo.

Not just Star Trek, but super irredeemably dorky esoteric Star Trek.

Of course, I get the reference too, so we’re both equally fucked.

Wow

That bat was so close to making Kobayashi’s ugly face even uglier.

what a pussy
Well, atleast Wlad didn't K that time.
Almost Wlad! the Impaler amirite?
Hwo did Morrow look?
Well, 4 pitch K looking.

All strikes. Not bad, but it’s 1 batter.

.... 40% of the HRs have occurred in the last 33% of the game in a tiny sample size

surprised? Not at all.

ah shit son
Way to misjudge it Dellucci
By the way, sometimes I really want my guys to succeed and I offer

money if they do something. (ie. Mike Richards if you score on this PK I’ll send you $20, etc)

I said to Richie right before the pitch that I’d give him $20 if he went yard. So do I pay up, even though he’s banking $15.5 mil? I kind of want to stand by my principle but on the other hand it’s $20 and thats a lot to send to him.

give it to charity
and by charity

I mean, donate it to LL

And by donate it to LL

you mean your personal beer fund, yes?

Yeah, that might work

But I was really hoping to eventually be able to send like Yuni or someone $20 as a semi-joke.

in Richie's name

try the Human Fund

wow, that confused me too
wow that was badly misread
Does Kobayashi have a flat top?
Hopefully Putz overcame whatever the hell happened to him last time

http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee180/walkerrimhunters/JJGameover.jpg”/>

thanks

blew that first attempt

Actually, JJ, that's a terrible likeness

That looks more like Corey Hart than you.

Never surrender.
He wears his sunglasses at night

so he can so he can steal 2nd so Prince can drive him in

Already fixed it >:(
start the bbq, this is over

that's pretty sweet
lower that ERA JJ, it looks yucky
HIS ERA SUCKS!

RELEASE JJ PUTZ HE’S WASHED UP!

More velocity JJ
STOP THE DRUMMER STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!
JJs mentality makes him a great closer

Not the 98 mph fastball or splitter

it's his large intestines!

they are made of win!

and feces

lots of feces

good closers eat lots of bran!
While mediocre ones eat lots brains?
Get that split over
like that
K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K

Shut that drum up.

PRONKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
High heat!
You closet Mariners fan!
he's clearly out of the closet
I'd rather face the White Sox then the Indians in the playoffs.

That’s the reason. Really. >_>

K!!

1 down

haha, dave simms

“STRUCK!!!” “Uhh.. struck out for strike 3.”

It was more like

Hell yelled out “SW-!!!”

but he only made it half way through the W

JJpwned
I immediatly regret this
Go get that fucking cap and put it on
Sims' call was amazing
One down.

Argghh ye matey.

Nice bat speed fatty

So Ian Kennedy sucks.

MORE VELOCITY JJ
Poor Pronk

Wonder how it feels to see yourself going over the hill of the career rollercoaster.

it feels $50 million good?
DP please
Garko should hang out with Randor Bierd
and give Jair Jurrjens a call and form a club
With chairman Melchior
How did Geovany Soto suddenly become Piazza last year?
RICHIE IS NOT THE PLAYER I EXPECTED TO HOMER

alright finish this shit jj

MORE VELOCITY, JJ!!!
Stop worrying me, JJ

It wasn’t funny when Eddie did it and it’s not funny here.

JJ PUTZ GIVETH THE INDIANS HOPE THAT HE MIGHT TAKE IT AWAY
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP
Not this again....
Dear JJ, when we started this relationshipt as you being the closer ...

.. I said no drama.

Alright I'm putting my lucky hat on now
Seriously guys we got this now
get more outs
danger danger AWOOGA AWOOGA
Gently Caress this shit
Cleveland broadcast just lost all credibility

they guaranteed that pitch would be in the dirt. I’d rather it have been in the dirt.

a DP by Cabrera would be appropriate
you know thats not how it works right
where is Sean White when you need him?
respect the arm
False Hope False Hope False Hope

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Trying to steal me booty.

Time for me to do my nude good luck dance.
bring back Morrow!!
JJs velocity is back down :(
it's cool, AstroCab is a secret Mariners spy
What the hell JJ?
SHIT SHIT SHIT 92 MPH SHIT
STOP THROWING IN THE LOW NINETIES
Unlike that asshole choo
throw strikes

ARTHUR RHODES FOR CLOSER!!!!!!

So JJ is still hurt...
fffuuuuuccckkkk
I WAS WRONG GIVE ME MORROW
oh boy

this is not good. not good.

strikes plz

kthx

NOT NOT NOT GOOD
Curse you JJ

You know I don’t deal well with this.

It's enough to break a man's faith
Just put the knife down, Jeff...

Nice and slow.

hahaha, total ball four
GENTLY CARESS GENTLY CARESS GENTLY CARESS
Please dont walk

A sub-.200 9 hitter…also known as my former fav mariners prospect.

Bring in Baek!

Uh, why is that only a strike once?
WATCH THIS BIG FUCKER COME IN AND WALK THE WORLD
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
titty fuck my ass
Bases loaded.

TIME FOR SOME GTP

GAME THREAD PESSIMISM

This is highly illogical.

WHY, JJ, WHY?

Giordi divert all power to MPH

NOW you twit

I AM NOT A MERRY MAN!
well done
God these Cleveland broadcasters....
SHIT ON A STICK
DIE DIE DIE
oh boy

Shit. Shit shit shit.

THIS BIG FUCKER IS WALKING THE WROLD SEASON'S OVER
Not worried.
You should be his velocity is down 5 MPH and he doesn't have any command.
Lucky hat.
if we lose here you must burn your hat you know this right
GIDP GIDP GIDP
that was the worst person to walk
What about the cerebral palsy kid?
He's down 3-4 mph

if he came back too early, I swear to god, fuck him.

i thought the radar gun was just way slow...

but yeah no wonder he can’t top 93

Sizemore.
Shit on a stick.
If there is not a DP in the very near future someone will die
it isn't his velocity that scares me

It’s the lack of command.

I am scared by both
Don't do this shit JJ
SHIT ON A STICK
Throw a fucking strike you cunt.
This will be way worse than a 1-0 loss
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
WARM UP RRS
I think this game may be over.
Yea,

This is really bad.

no....

2-0 fastball down the pipe, at 92 mph?

Commence the thrashing about and rending of garments
Throw a goddamn srike WHAT THE FUCK!!!
FUCK BLAST
I'm having Eddie flashbacks

and Ayala flashbacks

well that was fun
this is officially pissing me off
JJ's not 100%
GIDP GIDP GIDP
OK next ground ball, straight at loafie
I miss 2007
this is bad this is bad this is bad
channel RRS, JJ
Holy balls that was close.
Cleveland needs hotter chicks.
I turned the game on in the bottom of the 9th.

This game has been both awesome and horrible for me in a span of 2 innings.

Throw. Strikes.
DL DL DL DL DL
Funk DP right here.
Fuck fuck fuck.
WTF JJ

Is he still hurt?

Here comes the grand slam
IF he walks in the tie run...

I’m not watching the mariners for a month…

Cya in a month.
This is one of those 'watch your life crumble before your eyes' moments
Please don't walk in the tying run.

Please please please.

Is anyone warming up?
RRS MARK LOWE RRS MARK LOWE RRS
watching Fangraphs right now

was a large mistake

fDSJ FKLSDJFlejt34qojt53-0afsjdo;fjsa;lsds
oh my god

GET HIM AWAY FROM THE GAME

TAKE HIM OUT
No command.

Holy crap.

Woww......

Anyone warming up?

GOD DAMN ARGH KAJG;ILHAEG;OHANEOIKJNJ

NO COMMENT

I have no other words
THAT BIG FUCKER IS PITCHING HURT
FUCK, he called my bluff, bastard, WTF

put in someone else, he has no control, AND NO POWEr

Game fucking over.
JJ fuck you for coming back too early.

It’s clear at this point….

nooooooooo

oairjgoi[ejpwerigwpoergwr fuckhat

So.......15 day DL then?
';odthlkidsf;lkewmlx

GIVE ME ARTHUR RHODES
fuck you JJ, go back on the DL
JJ is hurt and we're fucked and go Seahawks
At least we have the Seahawks.
FUCK THE SEAHAWKS THEY ARE NOT A BASEBALL TEAM
Yeah at least we have the son-oh...
remember when he K'd the first batter?

That was fun.

that seemed like hours ago
Further proof that Hafner is spiraling downward.
Remember when he didn't throw faster than 94.7 MPH today?
Son of a bitch.....he's so still hurt.
get him outta the fuckin game

christ… just because he’s your closer doesn’t mean you can’t yank him.

Did someone just blindside me with a bat to the face?

It fucking feels like it

SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS

Ship is sinking

MAYDAY

b/c it is

WALK THE WORLD
Cock Damn Shit Fuck It.

Someone carve out my other eye.

WHO CURSED THIS.

WITH THE PUTZ IN GAME OV WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

Someoned did it in the last thread.

I don’t get it, we’re really pessimistic then we get cocky in stupid situations and karma kicks our ass. No one should ever think it’s a sure win till the game is over.

Yes I am certain this is totally our fault
IT IS
Yes but you only think that because you're stupid
No I think that because it's true
Yes but you only think it's true because you're stupid
No I think that because my experience watching college football tells me fans have direct impact on the outcome of the game
But you only infer that because you're stupid
No I infer that because I have a large enough and accurate enough sample size to believe that it actually is true
You're misinterpreting what that sample size tells you because you're stupid
I think you're stupid for denying the truth
Yes but you only say that because you're stupid
Mensa says otherwise
The envelope said NAMBLA

You only read Mensa because you’re stupid

Marlon Brando says otherwise
You're stupid
Nope, still you
Needs less stupid
Needs less wrong
Let's never hang out
I guess I won't be hooking you up with my hot sister then
I highly doubt this statement is true.
No its true

Didnt you see the pictures he posted on sunday

I did not.

And if she was hot, he probably just google image searched for hot women

Which part?

The hot sister’s existence or Corco’s unwillingness to hook her up with Jeff?

The day I hook up with someone from Idaho is the day Corco hooks up with anyone
negative 5 days ago?
You didn't hook up

you only think that because you’re stupid.

The girl I hooked up with says otherwise
Are you sure it was a girl?

Are you sure it wasn’t nothing?

There was no girl

you only think there was because you’re stupid.

At least I can lie about having sex

you don’t even have that

You'd make a great bad lawyer
I'd make a bad great lawyer
I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm!
We all have that.
Corco baiting some one else.

Interesting.

Tell more lies

they make you interesting

At least I have lies to make me interesting
And a small enough penis size
Let's see... I've been alive for nearly 10000 days

given that large sample size I can infer that the center of the Earth is filled with chocolate unicorns

Have you seen chocolate unicorns every day?
I believe I do
Subjective reality kicks ass

(and rides on chocolate unicorns)

pics or they aren't there

my Grandmother being locked in the bathroom doing Hail Marys so Ohio State beats Michigan- that’s fact

Let's analyze

Grandmother locked in bathroom doing Hail Marys: fact
Ohio State beat Michigan: fact

The former causing the latter: chocolate unicorns

Delicious chocolate unicorns
So... you're stupid.
We get shit on so much we should know it's a bad idea.
wrong
No, I'm right.
incorrect
No, I'm right.
fuk off cone cock
That graphic has been working for a long fucking time.
i can't believe we don't have someone else in by now
Dead,

we are.

KILL ME NOW
GIDP

you fucking cunt

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

You're missing two shits
No he's not

They got DFAd

I couldn't give two---

nevermind

This big fucker is pitching hurt
Everytime the camera shows McLaren

I wish I could jump through the TV screen and beat the shit out of him, like that father son combo from KC (or was it chitown?)

Alright,

I’m banning myself from the “Game Over” pic until further notice.

OH HOLY CRAP YOU THREW A STRIKE
hah

thanks for swinging at that crap

So we all know whats going to happen.

There’s really no suspense here.

Is anyone warming up?

Mac has no contingency options for blown saves.
He'll get the K and then give up the hit.
Now here comes the hit
Halfway there
Right so far.
85 MPH Splitter

Uh Oh.

At least his splitter is good
Thank God Casey Blake Blows
HOLY FUCKING CRAP
PUTZKK
that was a Blake K, not a Putz K
Big

come on one more

THANK YOU CASEY BLAKE

YOU DUMB FUCK YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR SWINGING

K

That came several batters too late.

Dude

Casey Blake is like god’s gift to the Mariners tonight.

ok, that K would of been more useful one batter ago
GOLDEN SOMBRERO

ONE MORE PLZ

LOL

Some hope left

that was such a tease

Dellucchi is going to break our hearts.

on second thought

just keep throwing splitters. no fast balls, unless they are way out the strike zone.

NEW PITCHER PLZ HE ALREADY BLEW THE FUCKING SAVE
Woo?

A strikeout! This is progress..yes, this is progress.

Split is still sweet...
If we were Indians fans we 'd be roasting Blake on a stick right now.
He is really relying on his splitter right now, like never before
he has to, he can't pitch a fastball for a strike

or blow anyone away with his 93 mph crap, cept hafner with the “high heat”

K #2.

1 more for continued baseball.

casey blake

is the anti-good

FUCK YA JJ!
Does that read

Fuck YEAH JJ? Or Fuck ya, JJ

Has he ever thrown this many splitters?

He has 0 fastball.

That was a very generous strike.
Not a strike
thank you umpire
I'll regret saying this eventually

But fuck you, JJ.

better lucky than good

or in JJ’s case, healthy.

THROW IT IN THE DIRT
....Lowe for closer?
RHODES
(sarcastic answer)

RRS

hyphen hyphen hyphen hyphen
RRS

Since, you know, he’s the only pitcher who hasn’t blown the chances he’s gotten to do so.

I propose closer by committee

Where the committee is Felix

Jesus Christ.
I cordially invite these announcers to blow me
I think they'd gladly do it

in their matching Hanes red t-shirts

oh the faggotry
HOLY HALLELUYAHH!!!!
THUNDER

Fuck, I’ll take it.

KKK

more FREE BASEBALL “yay…”

JJ WOOOOOOOOOO

after failing but whatev

Why is Mac leaving Putz in there?

JJ is clearly not JJ. This madness…

NO! THis... IS... SPARTA!!!
More chance for Wlad! time
Nope, wasn't worried.
HAHA

this ump is after my heart

That looked like a strike. Check Gameday
Luck is my new best friend.
Cleveland broadcasters are such homers
Bwahahahahaha

ahahhahahahahaha ahhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahha haaaaaaaaa

har har woooooooooooooooo sure was a close’n

PUTZ WOO?
GOOD

Now go straight to the DL and this time don’t come back until you are healed.

K# 3.

Well, that could have been worse…probably…

Holy shit I would be super pissed if I were in the Indians.

The guy just walked the tying run in.Why would you swing at any of that.

Well,

Both sides do have offensive issues.

Lucky Hat --> Controls ump, avoids loss in 9th, guarantees win in extra innings
warm up dickey, this could go awhile.

oh wait

anyway, I’ll give Putz some credit got getting out of that jam that he got himself into… with a shitty fastball and no command. But fuck, man, fuck.

Well that was anti-climactic..

for Indians fans.

A Tits start that goes into extra innings?

This certainly has potential to set records for game time

I came home about 2.5 hours in and they were already in the 9th

so no. I was surprised too.

That was really fucking stupid.
So, will the M's be smart and put him back on the DL?
At least we'd see the return of the Dicktator
KNUCKLEBALLS YES
Power swing, Ichiro.
Lineup turns over.

Cool.

Thank god we took Clement out already. Willie's running really--oh wait
...so Putz is halfway to last year's walk total
He's already surpassed last year's OH FUCK YOU'RE HURT total
I was the first on to blurt out

oh noes he’s hurt

Shouldn't you be with the rest of the team?
?
Jeff... as in Jeff Clement?
Yeah...

why didn’t we all see that?

Try less hard.

Because you're a moron?
Sadly I think you totally just proved JI's point there
Moron?

Coach GTE?

Them's fightin' words son.
To be a fly on the wall of your brain
The lawyer's name was... Kobayashi
Loafie!
Bout time he gets a hit. He's ripped it to the track three times
I've been playing GTA most of the game

just came in at the top of the 9th

mini-arod!

with a single!

Hey, Lopez woke up!
To be fair he's ripped three to the warning track

He’s been right on it and just missed all day

Oh. My apologies then.
I hope Jose Lopez breaks Dimaggio's hiting streak

Just because it would be really funny if that record was held by Jose Lopez.

Hey look a rally
KING AWESOME for 3 run HR please...
well that was unexpected
Yeah, double play seemed like the smart move there.
I like this comment.
M's know Putz needs a pickmeup.
they just need to win period

i did NOT see that hit coming

Ibanez is not a bad hitter

ppl should drop the negativity

In other news

Buzzie Bavasi—->Dead

Win it for Buzz!
Welcome to 2 threads ago
Sweet, now I catch up on what I missed.
It is a dark day.
Welocme to three hours ago.
How dare you not read the 2,000 comments that preceed yours

before posting something…

ok for semi-almost hitting beltre twice...

h’es gonna smake this 500 feet

werll... he tried to hit that 500 fett anyways...
or the shortstop
smake?
its the future pluperfect participle tense...
Spazzy McSpazzerson warming up
King Nothing
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OH GOD DAMN IT
meh.

Fuck.

fuck... i was pissed

beltre was just as pissed

At least he clearly realized how badly he fucked up there
I've never seen Beltre that pissed

that made the dp worth it.

No it didn't >:(
King Fail.
I have other work to do.. I want this game over...

but I want us to win… ugh..

Beltre looked unhappy.
hey... why aren't you paying attention to your game now? :)

not that we mind your friendly outsider comments.. but aren’t the angels playing the a’s right now?

closet Mariners fan
Well the helmet slam was awesome
Never cry shitwolf
shit apples don't fall far from the shit tree

or something similar to that.

Heh, Baseball Tonight says No Worries!

“JJ Putz is back but looks a little rusty still and a lot of guys in the Mariners bullpen are in different roles than they’re used to, I think once JJ knocks the rust off he’ll be fine.” – Chris Singleton, Baseball Tonight

(Kinda paraphrased a bit)

The highlight of Chris Singleton's career

was getting plunked during a Red Sox-DRays beanball war and nearly charging the mound before he was held back.

I remember last year there was a big love/hate relationship with this team.

This year it’s pretty much hate so far.

aaaaaaaaargh

hey this baseball game, be less excruciating please

GOTTA WALK THE WORLD BRB
Any pitcher with a necklace is good

Lowe, CJ Wilson, um

FELIX MOTHERFUCKING HERNANDEZ
eh, it's a Rosary isn't it?

Not technically a necklace.

gets all Catholic

huh

asterisks don’t show up in my replies.

Felix is overrated!.

/joking.

Felix should wear a neclace of skulls of his fallen foes
That would be awesome

Tally marks for his strikeouts on the side of his hat.

NO FUCKING PIN STRIPES.
Adam Loewen and his hittability say hi
Mark Lowe, is clearly not the same pitcher he was in 2006

But I still love him, him and JReed. And clement. Big man crushes

That was a strike, ump!
that was a K

be consistent ump, that was a strike for JJ

We sure have alot of big fuckers on this team.
FREE JON HUBER
I CONCUR
FREE ROY
OH YEAH HIM

REFREE ROY CORCO

Free

Willie!

Free Doug Fister
Fister ahahaha
Isn't AAA destroying his life?
Isn't that Potatoes

Huber isn’t doing so bad IIRC.

8 K 8 BB 10 runs allowed 8 earned in 10.2 IP
Who the fuck was I thinking of, then?
Jake Woods? I don't know
free doug fister!
I remember when I thought Huber was legit
I think he just got lost in the logjam
This reminds me of that game recap last year I forget who we faced

Ms: You take it
Opponent: No you take it
Etc

the As

IIRC

No, the Rangers.

needs caption
how about "fuck me!"
how bout

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLSS!!!!!

FREE MARK LOWE!!!111!!!1!!

...ON FREE AGENT POOL.

I hope Adenhart gets fucking obliterated tonight
I hope he pitches well and loses because I like good prospects
Too late for that...
was that 83 changeup?

after 95 mph fastballs?

That pitch was gorgeous
I'm going to stab these Mariners if they lose.

Or I’ll mail them a knife with the note, “You know what to do,” to save myself the hassle

He looks an awful lot like Josh Brown...

Oh, wait, hold up…

so..... boned?
Retire, Raul.
Wow,

That was bad position placement.

Fuck you Ral

I hereby ban “U”’s in Ibanez’s name for a week.

Game. Set. Match.
Fuck. That's the game.
How slow is Raul or deep did he play

that that was a double?? wtf….

PUT JJ BACK IN
Play deeper Raul
2Bs > ITP HRS
There is still hope! Jamie Carrol is up!
Lowe's facial hair is awful. It makes him look like he's in one of those shitty dirty rock bands like Puddle of Mudd or something.
No wonder he's missing the zone

Everything’s so blurry.

You take that back!

Puddle of Mudd was discovered by Fred Durst. Therefore they have to be awesome. Because if Fred Durst is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

oh god, death by Jamey Carrol
Carroll was a maid in the kitchen

and gave birth to ten children…

kill me dead
stab stab stab.
How many ways

can this team throw a win away?

I'm guessing squeeze
Carroll better win this for them
That cleveland girl was hot
Wouldn't mind loading the bases now
There yeah go.
Not when Jamie carroll is up, you don't.
BLOW THIS FUCKER AWAY
I'd give up my third nipple for Rafael Soriano right now.
I'd give up your third nipple for Rafael Soriano too
I'd give up Horacio Ramirez.
Infield to double-play depth.
Get green in NOW
YEAH I'M TIRED OF ALL THE WALKS...oh wait.
You just had to call for that inside pitch.....
Nice job

HBP with 2 strikes on him already? WTFFF

WHAT THE FUCK WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUT CARROL ON BASE.
Needs more Whorf

YES YES YES
That's a solid life philosophy

great episode, by the way.

“Swing batter batter”

“Swing batter batter”

“DEATH TO THE OPPOSITION!”

Uh way to get out of the way Carroll
They need to send the entire team down to Tacoma

Just to teach them a lesson.

Put in Sean Green

Because we need Ground balls! haha

ok, hnvm... that's exactly what we did
On the positive side, it is going to be so hilarious if we get out of this
fucking christ

not that it really matters

line out triple play?
For a total of 4 outs this inning
There's 1 out
There's 1 out.
You only need 2 outs, I think.
not if we want to win
This seems like a very familiar situtation ...

.. yes, it was the last inning.

sean green

please save us.

k, thx. bye.

Gameday had the pitch that hit Carroll high and on the outside part of the plate.
FUCK A TRUCK
"Groundball pitcher, who is it?"

“Well it’s either Baek or Green…”

lets see

Rhodes – Morrow – JJ – Lowe – Green

That leaves…. Baek and RRS.

Baek can't pitch -- he's worn out from a few days back.
Well it's a good thing we have someone like the Dickta.... oh
And Cairo
Willie
Nope, he already pinch ran
Ichiro. That'd be awesome.
He'd get put in before RRS
Can we put Batista back in?

or is that against the rules.

We ground ball.

Where is Mateo when we need him?

Beating his wife
In Fresno

cause, you know, Fresno sucks.

I lived in Fresno for 3 years.

I know.

ever since Lowe got JJ with the shaving cream

both have struggled on the mound.

Our curse of the billy goat?
the Barbasol curse.
I bet

Green does get a groundball, Yuni to Lopez for one, and then YIKES AND AWAY for the ballgame.

Even if we pull this one out

There’s no way we deserved to win this one. If I said that we did deserve it, I would have to punch myself in the face. Because I would be lying.

wow green got away with one
Miss your spot by more
YES

KKK

WOOOOOOOOO!

That's a Double Extra Large To Go!

Never Leave us, Mr. Sims

I heart Green

So does Eric Wedge.

I can't wait to see tonight's WE chart
A double extra large to go? WTF Dave.
Multitasking ordering dinner and calling the game
Fantastic swing.
siddown you little bitch
We better get to 27 innings
Oakland 4, Angel's 0

at least that’s nice. i guess.

haha.. “that’s a double extra large TO GO!” – sims

HOPE SWEET HOPE
LOL

This game is interesting.

Interesting like herpes
Oakland 4, Angel's 0

at least that’s nice. i guess.

haha.. “that’s a double extra large TO GO!” – sims

Let's pinch hit Eduardo Perez next inning...
No you can't

because then who’s gonna play centerfield if Reed gets hurt?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Well of course.
and that's it.

we did not deserve to win today anyway.

Open mouth, insert dick
You wish it was your mouth
Commence walking backwards
I am so sick of seeing teams

celebrate in the 9th off of us. Seriously, I’m fucking tired of it.

Final frame as it were in this game.
9th?
I don't care.

All I know is I’m getting sick of seeing teams getting game-ending hits off of us.

Asdrubal Cabrera sucks.

How did we let him walk and get the game winner?

death by Asdrubal
Yup. Asdrubal Cabrera with the winning hit.

Sounds about right.

Could it go any other way?

False Hope, im telling ya.

Ive learned this year that even when the Mariners are winning, they will still lose.

Go Avs! : (

That loss brought to you by Jose Mesa... I mean JJ Putz

hard to tell the difference

Bobby Ayala, Norm Charlton, Mike Schooler...
i'm burning my hat

later

fuck this offense

Pictures or it didn't happen.

Give up.
I'd prefer that he keep trying
fuck this

im going to go kill a hobo

is this offensive to the hobo community?
Green v. the LHB FTW!......

err… loss

No offense, yet again

but this will go down as a bullpen meltdown by the media outlets.

well it kind of was as well
The bullpen shouldn't have been in this position to begin with.

It was PAUL FUCKING BYRD!

Still, JJ cannot afford to suck up the joint that much.
I understand that's a problem

but how the fuck do we manage NOTHING OFF OF PAUL BYRD!?

Legalized HGH
At least our offense made the win possible.

Major bullpen joke.

choke*
No, you had it right the first time.
I suggest for the next LL event

a mass suicide outside of Safeco.

Fuck Lowe and JJ.

Game. Series. Season.

/////wrists

Yikes. This has been a highly disappointing day thus far.

....is that a video game screenshot?
Looks like it
Also, scattered Star Trek references are fine.

Don’t overdo it.

If that's a picture he took outside then I don't think I'll be going outside
SHUT UP MANTANK

[tv off]

God I hate her.

I hate her so much.

I can't explain why

but I don’t find her offensive

Its her rack
She thinks Jim Edmonds is the worst centerfielder ever and is insanely overrated
If that were true I would find her vastly more offensive.
Speaking of opening a mouth and inserting a dick...
Needed more RRS
tru dat brotha
I knew it was coming , you all knew it was coming, but fuck that still sucks.
To Lowe and JJ:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgfpJWUYgbg

(not a rickroll).

To the entire bullpen and our veteran hitters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcEk3hKxOFE

Just tuned in to the A's Angels game,

Cust dropped a routine pop-up, slipped out of his glove.

The Angels get lucky??

shock.

Cust dropping balls isn't luck

it’s science

Fuck you science!
It's Newton's 4th Law:

Jack Cust takes roids and sucks at fielding./

BONDS IS A WORSE OUTFEILDER BECAUSE HE HAS A BAD ATTITUED AS OPPoSED TO CUST'S GOOD ONE
Actually by all indications Cust is a giant asshole

that and the obvious steroids are why he never got a real chance until 2007.

What indications?
He looks like a giant douche
Everything I've ever heard?

I’ve never talked to a single person in the know about Cust who spoke of him well.

all caps = sarcastic

remember that dude from a couple days ago?

I know I just like insulting Jack Cust
You can shut the fuck up too, Krueger.
I hate how smug this asshole always sounds.
fuck

Lost had better be good tonight. I need a pick-me-up.

Looks like somebody is gonna go to bed sad
If you want to meet me before the next game this is what I will look like

Those peole knew how to stage a fucking protest.
Uhh..

That’s an actual picture of self-immolation man…

Asian food is too spicy
I LOVE the spicy!
Shit the Win Probability chart for this game is insane
Please don't post it, Jeff.

Please I beg of you.

I want to see it. Hilariously angry recap would come

THAT’S why we lost. Fuck us.

What the fuck is the Windmill?
Paul Byrd's windup.
WE ARE S.C.???

that sounds like some annoying USC chant.

atlest cabera was on my fantisy tem lolol
Why the fuck would he be on your fantasy team...
I don't even have a fantasy team.

There were a lot of misspellings for a reason >.>

This guy's dumb the Mariners should hire him for the FO

Man arrested for forgery after trying to cash $360 billion check

Presenting the most mediocre team $25,000,000,000 can buy
I bet Willie's on it
Barry Zito = ACE
Go big or go home

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