I write for fun. However, this team isn't fun to write about. So I won't write about them. Here's a story about a severed human foot. I think you'll find it invigorating.
Biggest Contribution: Jose Vidro, +16.3%
Biggest Suckfest: Carlos Silva, -35.5%
Most Important AB: Vidro homer, +17.4%
Most Important Pitch: Abreu homer, -18.3%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -40.8%
Total Contribution by Hitters: -9.2%
Total Contribution by Opposition: 0.0%
(What is this chart?)
0 recs | 33 comments
This post brought to you by Happy Funtime Abortion Clinic: We'll Bring the Kid out of You!
esoteric - May 24, 2008
In other news, Brad Wilkerson hit a grand slam today
Maybe we’ll trade some prospects to get him back.
AtomicGarden - May 24, 2008
Well, I mean...
At least it wasn’t a slide. It was more of a rolling hill.
CapSea - May 24, 2008
Frosty Raptor - May 24, 2008
rec'd
JI - May 24, 2008
rec'ed for curiosity
Robert - May 24, 2008
It's okay guys. The Rays are up 9-1 in the second.
R.J. Anderson - May 24, 2008
Now 11-3
Thank you, Rays.
ThundaPC - May 24, 2008
Steve Trachsel against us: 5.2 innings, 2 runs, 6 baserunners
Steve Trachsel against everyone else: 28 innings, 33 runs, 62 baserunners
Jeff Sullivan - May 24, 2008
I think when the Rays start to hit they will be a good team.
JI - May 24, 2008
Hey
Longhorn - May 24, 2008
Cheer up
I’m starting my LL archive project
Robert - May 24, 2008
Baker: Carlos Silva on clubhouse accountability
This is getting comical.
ThundaPC - May 24, 2008
Hahaha
Carlos Silva agrees with what Bill Bavasi had to say today. The veteran starter, in his first year with the Mariners, feels that some players have to be spoken to and he’s on the verge of doing it.
So he’s going to talk to himself in the mirror about developing an out pitch?
Gomez - May 24, 2008
Instead of watching the Mariners today, I did something fun.
I went and watched Brian Matusz pitch in the WCC Championships. Pretty impressive.
Also, I had forgotten how cool college games are—even in a playoff game, tickets were $5 (for a double-header, no less) and I was about 40 feet from home plate.
Teej - May 24, 2008
I haven't watched in days
The conclusion just seemed foregone a week ago.
I love how cheap college baseball is, and that you can sit right behind home plate as long as you get there early enough. I got to see several Lincecum starts at UW in some of the best seats in the house.
Gomez - May 24, 2008
If this was a strong effort to end the slide
I’d hate to see the end result of a weak effort.
Gomez - May 24, 2008
The best part is how they had that headline before the first pitch was thrown
Jeff Sullivan - May 24, 2008
Hm... I guess we did see it then
Gomez - May 24, 2008
I'm just proud of the MLB.com headline writers whenever they write something that's not a pun on someone's name.
Today’s worst: Frenchy fries D-Backs
Teej - May 24, 2008
Although CBS Sportsline might be worse.
From a few days ago: Howard goes double-dong for Phils
Teej - May 24, 2008
I hope Kreuger gave them a green check for adhering to the Mariner Way.
discovolante - May 24, 2008
You guys suck
You guys are going to put the Yankees up over .500 and we’ll have to hear ESPN do a dramatic piece about how the Yankees overcame a struggle as a team to regain the magic regardless of the fact that they beat the other worst team in the AL besides themselves.
Only on ESPN would a last place team get top billing.
Sylar - May 24, 2008
There has to be some sort of awesome .gif you could use to express your frustration.
Teej - May 24, 2008
Here I did it for them.
The Yankees 2008 season has started out as one of the worst in recent club history. Conflicted with inner turmoil from both the front office and the team, the Yankees started off the season on a losing record. Major players like Alex Rodriguez© and Jason Giambi® were underperforming, citing team strugles between who gets the PED shot next affecting their games.
But now, the Bronx Bombers are back, pulling together again and proving to Major League Baseball why they’re a force to be reckoned with.
BUY YOUR ESPN MOBILE DEVICE TODAY!
The Mariners are perhaps one of the toughest teams in the 2008 season of Major League Baseball. The Yankees, coming in as the underdogs in the epic matchup of massive porportions, were destined to failure facing the likes of King Felix and Erik Bedard. But all of that was turned away when in the first game of the long series, Alex Rodriguez© blasted a home run to pave the road to victory for his team.
“It was real good mang!” Stated Rodriguez© after enjoying a nice mixed drink from teammate Joba Chamberlaign. “You see this kid? He duh fudure mang. All fit pumpin and mora.”
No seriously, buy our fucking devices!
“It’s hard facing a power team like the Seattle Mariners man.” Says often hailed teammate Johnny Damon. “But you know, you gotta go at it everyday and just say ‘the dude abides’. “
Will the recent phenominal performance of the 2008 Yankees hold up? With showing naysayers that they can compete with A+ defensive teams like the Mariners, we have to say yes.
“Do I think we could take the Royals and the Tigers?” Mike Mussina states after putting on a golden thong. “You tell me.”
Sylar - May 24, 2008
We did this last year.
Woke the Yankees up and got hated by fans everywhere else.
But since people still watch ESPN, they can go fuck themselves anyways. Mariners style.
Slica - May 24, 2008
Seriously, who watches ESPN for "content" anymore?
Sportscenter is completely obsolete when you can get highlights direct from the league website, and better analysis for anything from a plethora of online origins.
The less of the Worldwide Leader in your life, the better (unless Terrel Owens tries to kill himself again).
Jordan of Boise - May 24, 2008
A lot of people
Not many people realize how lacking in validity ESPN’s reporting and analysis is.
Gomez - May 24, 2008
I hate ESPN's coverage as much as the next guy,
But my laptop doesn’t make watching videos on the internet as fun as on my, say, HDTV. And I’m limited to SportsCenter or Fox Sports Final Score. I watch it for mindless highlights, almost in the background.
I don’t think I’ve visited ESPN’s website for at least a couple months, though.
AtomicGarden - May 24, 2008
"So I'm limited to SportsCenter or Fox Sports Final Score"
AtomicGarden - May 24, 2008
I miss George Michael's Sports Machine.
Teej - May 24, 2008
Well, It is quite an acomplishment for the Yankees.
Currently undefeated against a team that’s favored to win the AL West and all.
ThundaPC - May 25, 2008
So I was out at the Edmonds Jazz Connection today, what did I miss?
oh
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
We suck.
BrianL - May 24, 2008
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