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Lookout Landing

5/30: Open Game Thead, Part 2

Hiroki Kuroda has a 4.15 tRA with a K/BB/HR line of 4.9 / 2.8 / 0.66.

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Comments

And the world goes 'round.
I remember when we were in the running to get Kudora.
Bavasi and McLaren even went to Japan to try to woo him.
Shoulda got him

and Fukudome instead of Willkerson and Silva

if only.
its ok,we got Kenji for 3 more years

if its japanese players you’re hankering for…

A healthy Vidro strikes out a a pitch to the ground.
vidro in the 3 hole angers me.
Vidro angers me in any hole
Better than having him in your 2 hole.

Ouch.

I see what you did there
Clement's back though

so that’s something.
Rainiers down 6-0, so, uh, yeah.

Hey Marc, you ever read this blog?

Beer and Hot Dogs?

yep

but you already knew that

WHATS UP GUYZ THIS IS JI
what's going on in this thread?
Stuff
Having an Edgar for Mayor and an Edgar for Pres is so confusing
butthol baiting
not anymore
butthol cage?
How is he gone before Coach?
Coach contributes.
I don't contribu... Oh shit
Speaking of which

Isn’t Friday night when we were supposed to unban him under the Jl/Robert campaign? Where is he?

the JI/Robert campaign went down in Three Mile Island flames.
s'better than Chernobyl I suppose
Hopefully we get a song as good as Roulette.
he's not gone

but no butthol baiting is taking place in this thread.

butthol baiting

hee

I actually don't know if that's what was going on. It was just a guess.
I don't know either, I left the other thread to gather foodstuffs

I came back to find the regulars complaining about shit comments. It’s becoming too frequent.

JIM THOME
hay is is Jl
game threads need to stop sucking.

stop sucking people.

Cue picture of blowjob

/not really

How do we not suck?
don't be like Silva
I am not robbing you of your money for the next 3.5 years

so that’s a start.

We don't have a lot of material to work with.
These games used to lead to some of our best work
Not much has happened outside of the first.
game thread goodness needn't be correlated to the quality of the game

it’s correlated to the quality of posters.

Alright I'll be honest.

I’m watching Futurama.

better source of entertainment
This is what happens when you bat Ross Gload third
Also

Baseball-reference.com is telling me to tell JI to fuck off

I dread the day websites become self aware.
Coach is our John Conner
We're boned
You know what was the best part of Terminator 2

This:

Really?

From terminator?

Ross Gload once hit .300.
The Mariners make the Tigers look good.
we make everyone like WS contenders.
Not the red sox

thanks god

To be fair, the Tigers just needed some extra PFP.
From 3-0 to an out.
I am not looking forward to Ryan Franklin turning into a pumpkin.
The more I think about this I am

just under the right circumstances

GO MARINERS
Chipper Jones is good.
So all of these cool baseball players are telling me to keep watching MLB.TV

I should probably listen.

If you are begging for Rally Fries

your life has not turned out the way you would have hoped.

I wish I was there

I’d say “Gimme Rallie Fries, I have to watch this crap team every day, I need it. Also, Silva Sucks. And so do you Blowers.”

1 Run, 1 Hit, 4 Innings.

And they spent the whole pregame show talking about how Mariners love beating up left-handed pitchers.

Keep trying Johjima, keep trying.
Chen would have had that.
Lopes sucks

Defense

How is Lopez's defense rated anyways?

I always thought he was slightly above average, but I can’t tell.

LOPEZ YOU FAIL AGAIN
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
URUSAI URUSAI URUSAI!

Tsundere chicks make saying that hot.

For the record, this doesn't count as an anime post.
I took Japanese for 2 years I feel I should know what Urusai means
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
That was it. I just kept remembering my teacher yelling that at the class
I take Japanese for life and I wish you Japanophiles would shut up.
I'm sorry I'm only in my fourth year of Japanese.
that was not a good play.
hahahahahah

lolololololololol

Nice one Cabrera.
Miggy Cabrera

with a Manny-like play, they’re about the same fatness as well…

Hmmm...where was Cabrera going?
Miguel Cabrera better start hitting a lot better.

Because his baserunning and glove do not an 8-year contract make worth.

Maybe he gets better at first?
Still better to have him for 8

than Zito for 8. Or Silva for 4, Washbun for 4, and Sexson for 4

Does anyone have a solid idea what's up with him?

His LD%, HR/F% and GB% have all gone pretty far in the wrong direction this year.

right now I'd say slow start + tougher league.

we’ll see how long this sustains though.

I'd be bummed if he ends up tanking.

I love watching pure hitters.

Boy I picked a great night to hit up the liquor store.
i second that one. cheers.
baserunning blunders

are always funny

Dickey for Starter!
Dickey for starter, Morrow for Starter
kay

I’m out dudes

Who else is surprised to see us being owned by an average lefty?
well, to be fair to Robertson,

he’s slightly above average.

poetic license
you should have blamed it on a typo
I'd prefer to be a poet.
KING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK YEAH
please don't leave us Beltre.
This offense could at least act like there is still a game to play

6 runs does seem like an impossible task right now, but there are fans watching this fucking game, and I’ll be damned if I watch the rest of this game and nobody scores another run I will seriously freak out man

does that mean you'll leave if the score stays 7-2 the rest of the way?
Thats how I read it.
BELTRE FOR EVERYTHING!!@!
FUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUNK BLAST NUMBER 2
Beltre bomb!

Why’s he tryiing? we lost…

Who else is surprised to see us being owned?
GET ON HIS BALLS SEATTLE
Selfish, selfish, rally killing bust.
JUST FIVE MORE AT BATS FROM BELTRE AND WE WILL BE TIED
FUCK YEAH!
BELTRE BELTRE YES!
WHY CAN'T WE HAVE 9 BELTRES
FUCK YOU BELTRE!!!

STRABURG REMEMBER??!!

Yeah because we're totally going to win
I'm going to slap the next person...

who tries to argue that Beltre is a bust.

Hey look..Jose Lopez is the 'ballgirl' while the M's bat.
JoLo is everything
You did see the ballgirl miss the ball right?
BALL 4 FUCKER.
That one almost touched the ground

And kenji still got cntact, lol

I'm all for weeding.

We need to have some kind of hidden thread, where only the good regulars can visit, so we can discuss who to get rid of.

if there was an easy way of doing this, believe me, we would.

I’ll look into it.

secret mass emails
Rely on people to not go where they shouldn't
You're assuming a large number of "good regulars"
Not assuming, konwing.
Knowing*

Am I a good or bad regular. I know I am no coach, but I am not sure where I stand.

you're fine.
we already have those

but it’s just Graham, Jeff and I. Mostly we talk about all of you.

You need to post some of those transcripts
you should have seen the one where all three of us were drunk.
Now you're just teasing us.
I've seen parts of a Drunk Jeff email
How is this not available to the public?
Talk about us?

Graham: JI is so dreamy.
Matthew: I’d hit that.
Jeff: Meh, I’d prefer LFoJL personally.

HAHA

I laughed pretty hard at this one

It's probably political discussion, steroid speculation and gay jokes.
...

how the hell did you get ahold of those?

Jeff told us the scret threads are all about abortion.
And you trust him?

Didn’t you campaign on a platform of Jeff lies?

Speaking of which

Where are the girls? Jeff promised girls if he won. So there. Lies.

they'll be at the meeting

unless we use them up beforehand.

Disposable girls?
The kind you need to blow air into?
aren't they all?

women are a race now?

whatever. They still don’t matter.

I wish women werent women so I could punch them in the fucking face
That stops you?
Its too bad you aren't the last fan of Julio Mateo

Or I would have something really good to work with.

There is no last fan of Julio Mateo
You need to not care what other people think and just go with it.
Old enough to breed

Old enough to bleed

I see what you did there and I approve.
Same here

sometimes they really deserve it.

I prefer the recyclable type
I warned everybody.

Jeff’s trickle down policy is doomed to failure.

I really hope that was unintentional.
This is no good.

My girlfriend will be in the building.

We have some news for you re: your girlfriend
As long as I get a cut.

And a copy of the video.

you get a $5 gift card to Denny's and a betamax copy.
Make it $10, Sizzler and Laser Disc and it's a deal.
I actually own a single laser disc

A Kid in King Arthur’s Court

It was a great format.

Just really unwieldy. ~HD quality in the early 90’s, though.

My highschool biology teacher

had all his timekilling movies on laserdisc.

Laserdiscs were sweet

Its too bad they were outdated.

You know what else was sweet?

Minidisc. I loved that format.

Minidisc was indeed awesome.
It's amazing the public didn't want big and breakable.
Still better than VHS.

Of course, so was Betamax.

Good movie

the movie where that kid slips on a baseball and plays in the majors is better though. Its just so…. realistic.

A Kid in King Arthur's Court is a movie you enjoy when you're younger

And then realize it’s complete shit in 5 years

needs more womany drama in it ammirite?
Coming from you, that's pretty damning.
I don't enjoy the movies I watch

I endure them for fun. There’s a difference

This is quite an important distinction.

I’m that way with horrendously bad comedies.

I hate running, but I enjoy finishing marathons?
Weird. I'm the exact opposite.

I like running, but hate finishing races.

You could try not stopping?
But then people would think he's mentally handicapped
That would be kind of cool...

I could get a story in the Seattle Times. “The mentally challenged boy who couldn’t stop running”

try running like Yuni while you do it.
Vidro waddle for the win
So is Night at the Roxbury

I loved that movie when I was a kid, not so great when I watched it 8 or so years later.

I... uh.... don't still like that movie either...
Here's a blast from the past.

Remember The Wizard? That movie was godawful.

I just watched that at work a few months ago.

I had no idea that Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley was in that movie.

That happened with Silverado

for me…what made it worse was that I plugged the movie to my friends and made them watch it with me…they were not pleased.

She's in a movie?

Now I gotta rent it, dammit.

CALIFORNIA!
::Shudder::
I'm surprised Brett hasnt started posting Craigs Lists ads as me
way to give him an idea stupid
He would probably try to steal anybody that wasnt a bot
Well good for him, a CL girl might be his level.
I want to hear the stories from the other Canada trip
I can't relate them without being insulting
Make an analogy
Weren't you there?
hehe He can't read, silly
Fortunately for Robert Brett's too busy enjoying the action-packed game tonight.
With a girl

I’ll ask how its going

He should impress her with his superior "non-casual" faness.
Not bad considering she's taken....

O:-)

does your emoticon have a gunshot wound to the forehead?
bald spot
Just relaying the text messages

I told him to make a move

...ladies
This will end

A) Badly
B) All of the above

IT WORKED IT WORKED IT WORKED IT WORKED IT WORKED

Is he literally inside her pants right now?
He's not replying back

I would take this as a good sign

Just shoulder to shoulder...

....right now

SOMEONE CALL AN USHER!
I told him to ask about her feelings on adultery
he said he would consider it
nice ha

just subltely bring up Washburn’s affair and bam. Too bad he isn’t pitching tonight though.

I told him to talk about the Sens
Larry Craig?
Oh shit no politics cross that out.
the hockey team

instead he’s talking about clete thomas’ gay name and face

I'm having him go for the hail mary

“You know whats not gay? My cock in your mouth”

didnt work
Didn't think it would

I would go for the subtle approach if he wants to get with her

running out of time

need something drastic

Too bad they've stopped selling beer.
That's either an automatic in or the worst idea ever.
Dear cameraman-

Please pan to Section 108.

She's using him.
I think these lies are metaphorically true.
Someone should hack Devin's account for me.
Maybe try to contact the guy who hacked Jeff's account

someone probably still has his IP address somewhere.

I can't believe nobody did the obligatory "Jeff Sullivan doesn't care about black people" in that thread
You forgot their rampant fantasy discussions
You guys shoudl invest in a secret police force
I now know what I would settle for instead of Admin powers
A beer and a cupcake with your name on it?
Only if its the Funfetti kind
This makes me nervous

now I feel like we’re all in tryouts and we might get cut at sent packing to HalosHeaven.

I'd retire from blogging if I were traded to HH.
Probably wouldn't be far behind yah.
Elway
Damn straight.
I would hope not

They are like the Pirates, or the Mariners for that matter, of the blogosphere.

I could hit 6th for Bucs Dugout

and that’s nothing against Charlie ‘cause he’s a great writer, they just don’t get a whole lot of traffic…I think it’d be neat to do a LL invasion there one day, but I understand it’s not something you want to over-do…

Well I wasn't comparing Halos Heaven to the site

I was comparing them to the actual team.

I understand

my drunkeness is having a hard time differentiating talk of the quality of blogs and the quality of the teams themselves…

Elitists

Well fine then i’m going to pay my $20 bucks and eat all your appetizers… lol

Kenji can fuck off and catch AIDS.
That would clear up the catcher spot for Jeff Clement.
ZOMG NO POLITICS!!!1
If Kenji took steroids

HE’d have 2 hrs, instead of 2 flyball outs…

yay for warning track power.
Wait a minute...

That old lady second from right was my Grade 7 science teacher.

I would like some rally fries if that's who delivers them.
I think most everyone enjoys her...let's not get off on an inappropriate tangent.
We need to get something going.

This thread is seriously lagging tonight.

Most everyone "enjoys" her?

Weird phrasing

For fuck's sake...

how much are those Rally Fries worth, 2 bucks?

You have obviously never been to Safeco Field
Just because you have to pay 6 bucks for them

doesn’t mean they’re worth 6 bucks. example we paid 48 million for Silva. Real value? a bucket of lard and replacement level pitcher

Don't freak out I'm talking the price of ballpark fries here
We're paying...

...a whole helluvalot for Sexson, too. What’s he worth? I’d trade him for a corpse and a six-pack of Coors right now.

I understand the 6 pack...

Not getting the corpse part

I'd trade Sexson for a half-can of Budweiser.
closer to 3 I think
5.50
Only inside the ballpark.
Does it come with garlic?
I would gladly pay the 5 bucks for Garlic Fries...

Since they are God’s gift to mankind. Rally Fries can bugger off.

no way.

That’s what the garlic fries cost. No way the reg fries cost that much.

You get to embarrass yourself on tv and block people's view.
At what age does your lame detector stop working?

talking about rallycap grandma I assume?
I was late on the trigger

but there’s 3-4 of them, and the pic shows them wearing the same ugly dress as little girls.

Dickey deserves this victory
Just 6 more Beltre Bombs to go...
Dickey deserves SIlva's spot in the rotation.
Dickey deserves Silva's pay
First non-Beltre hit of the game.
Haha.

Announcers more enamored with Yuni-walks rather than Yuni-doubles.

Defense!
Ichi-balls!
Fucking stat padder.
Yay productive outs.
I want some fucking heads to roll dammit
I see the positives in losing, for sure,

but damnit day in and day out it gets tiresome…nice to see the other team’s fans go home crying sometimes, yah know?

Winning is new and fresh every time we do it now

C’mon M’s! Bring back that loving feeling.

Raul getting on base will but us at 7-6

Hey, this game might be winnable.

Raul Ibanez is the worst player in organized baseball v. a LHP.
GRIFFEY!
*Griffey never had much of a platoon split.
"Mariners right back in this one"

HAHAHAHA SOB

Raul has been REALLY bad his last 30 at bats or so....incredibly bad.
How bad?
Maybe not incredibly bad..but I wanna see enfuego Ibanez
ball four maggot
Good Job for calling it.
Since Robert is talking about girls, here's a question

Is it wrong for a guy one year out of college to go on a date with a girl that’s 2 weeks away from graduating high school? I’m only 22 and she’s 19 though, so not like age difference is that huge.

I say yes
Let me clarify

People her age might not think very highly of her

Also, you don't fit Randall's criteria

go for it

he doesn't specify if that's integer or float division

that’s going to be important to me in two weeks.

Well, shit, you're fucked
integer division buys me another six months!
No...but if she's going to college...goodluck with that.
What's this mean?
It means

DANGER DANGER

WAH-UGGGA WAH-UGGGAAA
maturity level means a lot more than actual age
I agree with this comment.
I had a girl 5 years younger go after me

and her myspace was filled with pictures of ponies

WFB posing as a younger girl on myspace?!
You think Jeff would have used this against you last night...
So how long did you go out?
she was way too mature for Robert clearly.
i fucking hate ponies
I hate fucking ponies
I thought about giving her Brett's number and doing the ole switcharoo
Too young

It was a dateline mod.

My old GF was obsessed with penguins

Probably not a good idea to date anyone with a furries fetish.

Pengiuns do not have fur.
or is it...?

No, probably not.

This depends entirely on what you're into.
Hopefully not a furry
Looks like you got more than you bargained for re: my girlfriend.
There was a lot of time spent in the editing room if you know what I mean.
You know, I thought her newfound interest in A/V technology was a bit odd...
I'm down if they are an amputee.
Needs more grammar
Seems fine to me.
"They" as a singular pronoun?

That’s frowned upon where I come from

It's the royal they.
Hello penguins on the underwear...amirite!?
GAME THREAD SAVER

NOW WE DO THE DANCE OF JOY
Needs more amputee girl.
There's actually a hot girl in BC Canada

that has a penguin fetish…

oh, on that okcupid dating website

Probably should clarify that part, or else my comment just seems weird….

yes, it seems less weird now...
Haha, I was thinking the same thing after I wrote that

“wtf, that doesn’t make it less weird you idiot” = my thoughts exactly

She's 19 and still in high school?
Uhhh

It’s fine.

I'd go with yes.
If the answer is yes then I'm a monumental pervert.

I was dating a 21 year old a month ago and I’m two months shy of 27.

You’re fine.

No

As long as you are both mature…or both not mature.

What the fuck is wrong with that?

If she’s mature… that’s all that matters.

K, cool.. thanks for the responses

She just randomly messaged me on that dating website Corco kept posting about when people were trying to get Jeff a date. I figure what the heck, i’ll give it a shot.

No problem... Just remember:

Old enough to pee, old enough for me.
When are you too young to pee?
welcome to the joke
This subthread is sub-par.
I pretend to not get jokes that don't make me laugh.
I prefer to reply literally.
This is a side effect of my not-joke-getting policy.
Every joke has a kernal of truth.
before 5 months in utero
Yeah, I like that one

Same for “If there’s grass… play ball”

PLEASE 3 HOMERS!
LET'S GO BELTRE
"Mariners closing the gap..."

More like Beltre is closing the gap

Speak of the devil
If Beltre doesn't homer here

someone is going to say that Beltre sucks because he only hits solo home runs.

booooooooooooooo
It's sad because it's true.
CHOKER
It's the Mariner Way
This would've been my favorite game of the year if he'd hit a 3rd one there.
Beltre sucks.....Just kidding he's awesome.
Hes the only one that gives a shit
I can agree with that
I just got here

did I miss anything?

Silva sucked ass
Yeah and silva gave up 7 runs in 2/3 of a inning
Not awesome.
Pretty much yeah. Not awesome
butthol got desert
Sahara?
I can't think of the real way to spell it

but I bet it involves one more letter.

There's another e.
deesert
I say it that way when I'm making fun of my mom's accent.
Could we trade tits and mariner moose for fiddlecat?
fiddlecat is just a renta-playa

everyone knows he’s re-signing with the Rays…

SIT THE FUCK DOWN ROOK
Nice job Lowe.
Is Sexy hurt?

Or just in the doghouse.

Must be seriously doghoused to restart KIRO.

They showed him golfing yesterday...he's fine..just sucks
just his feelings
Benching Sexy to make room for Cairo

is sick. As much as Richie sucks.

SIT DOWN ASSFACE
How bad is the Tiger bullpen, really?
Like ours. In Baltimore
Not bad enough for how bad our offense is
I turned down a free ticket to this game today

I’m kind of glad…

You could have gone to the box office and demanded your

money back. And boom, net gain.

Do they let you do that?

Is the game over yet?
It ended at 7:11.
East Coast Bias says 10:11
Is it just me, or should Miguel Cairo should have prostate cancer by now?
now you're inserting extra words?

Gain some consistency; you’re all over the map.

I'm consistanly confusing.
I'm just going to let this game thread ride to the end.

It’s dangerous, I know, but these are the kind of life or death moment’s notice decisions an admin has to make.

You're just rubbing it in Robert's face that you have admin powers
Regardless of how this works out

I would have made the right move

Matthew takes unnecessary risks
Noted for when I come to power.
Miguel Capowero
Cairo > Richie
Who cares who's better

that’s like saying
dogshit > cat shit

hahahaha

Thats good

Dogshit is better than catshit

it’s science.

Dogs eat catshit, cats do not eat dogshit (as far as i know)

If that means anything.

Catshit= Brown Gold

I'm still kind of in awe that Miguel Cairo is starting.

and not only that but is inexplicably better than Richie Sexson…

Extend Cairo!
But not his ears!!
It's Miguelephant the Elephant
Cairo > Richie?
Funny (not really) how a .185 hitter is an improvement
I thought we were really gonig to score there.
several fans were just maimed.
My MLB.tv just took a dump. Anyone else?
buy cable freeloader
I live in SoCal
Excuses are for assholes.
It's working again, by the way
Hay this is Philip Hughes
Mclaren's acting?

Worse than his managing?

Predictions on the final score anyone?
11-8 Marin-ahahahahah
Detroit 11 Beltre 6
This isn't HH.
HH??
Halos Heaven
DO NOT GOOGLE SEARCH THIS
I don't see anything disturbing
Did it not take you to HH?
7-6

Mariners do just enough to make it look like we put up a fight…. But not enough to win

Excellent.
KING FUCKING AWESOME!
one gold glove thirdbaseman

grounds out to another

Re-SIGN THIS MAN
Sims rooting to get Zach Miner's 6.11 ERA into the game.
By the way, it needs to be said: Dickeytime rocked tonight.

Shame he had to come in down 6 runs.

At least we paid ~$100m for three other comparable pitchers.
I know seriously, I almost feel like any idiot can be a decent GM

Here’s how, Hey team, I’ll save you $100 million dollars compared to the idiot you have now. How? Simple I won’t sign expensive guys who suck. Now, pay me $50 million dollars for this, and you’re still saving $50 milllion more than you were before.

Knuckleballs

are always fun

Anyone want to wear a dog suit and run 3.1 miles with me next sunday?

Thee’s a race called the Furry 5k where you run with your dog, and I want to run in it.

Nationals pwn the Diamondbacks 7-4

It was a tie game until Micah Owings gave up a three-run home run to WILLIE FUCKING HARRIS. That’s like letting a fusion of Willie Bloomquist and Miguel Cairo beat you at the plate. Go Nats!

good game from Lowe
Until he puts a couple of weeks in a row of looking good

I’m always going to be leery of him. But I’ll always love him for his 2006 awesomeness

I still can't believe thew alks

it’s like he and Morrow traded bodies.

I wonder what good defense is like

...it just been so long since I have seen it in LF

Jeremy Reed
Indeed. If he hadn't of dropped his glove that one day...oh boy.

That sucked :(

Reggie Bush gets WAY too many endorsements

for how little he has accomplished professionally

Brandon Inge>>>>>>>> WFB
If the mariners come back

can we still give Silva the loss? Or at least take away one of his “quality starts”? If not, can we start tracking “craptacular starts” as an official stat? I bet we’d lead the league.

Thats what the ERA and WHIP is for.
I don't think you're gonna' need to worry about that.
Not really worried

I’d just hate to see a start of Weaverian proportions like this go to waste.
Maybe we could just keep track of how many times a pitcher gave up more than 5 runs in an inning and call it a Weaver? Maybe make stats more sexy cause saberheads in their mom’s basement need love too.

Ichiro singles, Lopez singles, VIDRO GAME-TYING HOMERUN ALL THE WAY OUT OF SAFECO

I called it right there, that’s how it’s gonna happen. Just watch.

You are wrong.
You mean wri9ong.
wr9iong*
Wrong.
wr9iong
Fuck, I got it wrong.
you mean you got it wr9iong.
Are you trying to kill the meme?
wr9iong, I meant "wrong."
Well wrong already

since Ichrio flied out…. BUt you were wrong when you typed Vidro and homerun anyways

No way

That would mean Vidro is batting third. Couldn’t happen.

In a regular world...
Shut up Blowers.
Man, that's a mighty fearsome .622 OPS in the 3 hole there.
Oh god, the most hideous girl just tried to message me on a dating website

I hate when that happens.

So she couldn't message you

I wouldn’t think it would be that hard.

You have an account on a dating website.

LIFE FAIL.

Didn't you say you were 22?

A bit young to already be resorting to dating sites…

You'd think so

But why are there so many 19 year old girls on this thing then?

I lead a double life
You believe they are actually 19?
Because girls are whores.
Because they're actually 38 year old men.
My 26yo brother is on eharmony

He said that there are tons of 18 and 19 yr olds, but they all want to be princesses and get married….boooooooring

No Future plumer huh...lame sauce
Fine by me, I'm probably pruder than 99% of all girls

BTW, are there any girls that post here?

I think there's ~3

that stop by once every blue moon.

And take all the man's money and not work. no fun.
Lay off him. It's not as easy as you think.
I don't like the Tigers, but I admire the fact that they have a player on their roster named "Clete"

We need more “big goofy redneck” names in baseball.

Like Rusty or Clem?
Ooh, "Clem" is a great one.
It's a gritty name.
Let's think of some more. Does "Joba" count?

I think that one’s TOO much. Not solid brawny redneck so much as scrawny trailer trash.

Bucky Jacobsen
Now that is a gritty name

along with Willie, and Jarrod.

Jarrod = not gritty, more yuppie douchebag.

I’m thinking of names that big burly Polish guys with tree-trunk arms and a fondeness for pirogies would have. Like “Stan.”

pirogies are underrated
My grandma made some mean-ass pirogies.

Dad’s side of the family is two generations removed from Poland, natch.

You'd be amazed how many people can't spell that.
Pirogies are delicious.
Yea, you are right.

I was trying to think of some gritty names on the spot.

Here's another gritty name

Chipper Jones. He sure has some veteran grit alright.

"Chipper" is obviously hilariously nerdy. But "Larry" is actually a decent nominee.
man I loved that guy
Bucky = gold.

Even some reasonably common names are good for this purpose. “Bob” for example. (Not Bobby, just Bob.) “Frank,” too.

That was a great baseball name...too bad he couldn't run with it.
Doesn't he play for independent league now?
He played in Mexico last year.

Not sure about now.

Let's ask Jim Street!
Does Bobby Ayala have a daughter?
that 4 run 9th we had last series against Jones would be mighty entertaining.
I can't believe he still has that role.
SIT DOWN DOUCHEFACE
what are the chances of the M's winning this game from here?
4%
If Detriot agrees to letting Beltre bat three times in a row
So you're saying there's a chance....

(from dumb and Dumber)

I forget when in the movie that was

But I remember Jim Carrey saying it.

When he asks the girl (lauren hollly)

What the chances are a guy like him and a girl like her are (he might’ve said a girl like him and a guy like her). He guesses 1 in a thousand, and she says more like 1 in a million. He looks devestated, and then goes…”so you’re saying there’s a chance”

O yes it all comes back to me now.

I love that movie!

Its where

the girl tells him the odds of her being with him were a one in a million chance. (later in the movie)

What were the chances of the Indians coming back from 5 down with two outs and a man on first in the 9th?

Literally 0% prior to two nights ago.

IT CAN HAPPEN DOOD.

It can never be literally zero until the last out is recorded.
SIT DOWN FUCKWAD
I love how the bullpen is coming through again

now if only the rest of the team could catch up.

It's not brave Sims, it's Safeco.
How the fuck is this bigot still a closer?
He is the reliever version of Jamie Moyer.
Eh, people are way too harsh on Jones.

So he made comments about homosexuals that made him seem like a benighted prat. He’s still well known as one of the gentlemen of the game. While Jeff Weaver and the rest of the Detroit Tigers were sexually harrassing and assaulting stewardesses on their private plane, Todd Jones was the one player who interposed himself between them and her and saved her from further indignity. I give him credit for that.

Plus, I actually sort of enjoy his columns in The Sporting News.

“Todd,” by the way, is one of the gayest names on the planet. Right up there with “Tad” and “Trevor.”

Thad
No.

“Thad” is a classic northeastern blueblood yacht-club prat name. Not a gay name, just a douchebag name.

Don't forget Chad and Chaz

And Matthew, Jeff, and Graham

Thanks George Carlin.
George Carlin?

?

He had a stand up bit about how Todd was a gay name.
I know.

How could you not know who George Carlin is?

I know who he is. I just didn't understand why I was being compared to him.
Huh. I don't really know anything about Carlin. I arrived at that insight independently.
Still a bigot.
worthless choker
We need....to improve our patience...
and we need to do it RIGHT NOW
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuccccck
Good Game Beltre though

Great game Beltre

Imagine if they only had scored 4 in the first inning.
Your 2008 Mariners

There’s always next year. That’s our new slogan.

No there slogan should be

“So you’re saying there’s a chance?”

Haha, yes that would be a good one.

They could show Jim Carrey up on the Jumbotron.

this thread survived

what a clutch decision by me to not open a third thread. That would be a really empty thread right now.

I'll be happy to take the credit.
Congrats, you've shown more impressive decision making than McLaren
You think this thread is bad

Look at the Florida Marlins game thread over at the Marlins SBN site.

Check out the diaries at VEB.
I would have also kept it open
Just woke up to see Nicole Volumis on the post-game report

She’s like a floating head on a sea of tit.

Dear God.

As crude as it looked at first, there’s really no other way to describe it.

It's the hulk!

By the way, while we were watching the Mariners fail, the Padres just hit into a one pitch triple play.

The Giants reliever came in, threw one pitch, and got Kouzmanoff to auto-destruct the Padres’ two-on, nobody out rally.

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