Since the minute we signed him, I'd been looking forward to the day that Jarrod Washburn's contract runs out. It was to be a day of celebration. There were going to be pony rides, and mariachis, and cotton candy, and Muse, and microbrewery representatives, and all the sorts of things you'd want at a party commemorating the end of something miserable. Like high school graduation, only better, because unlike Jarrod Washburn, high school at least came with little perks like easy girls and calculus for the functionally retarded. Jarrod Washburn's Mariner career has always been forecasted as a perkless hell, which was supposed to make it that much sweeter when we finally escape.
But good things don't happen to good people. Bad things happen to good people until they become bad people completely deserving of the bad things that happen to them. Never intending to let me off the hook, Bill Bavasi carpet-bombed my path to Shangri-La by signing Carlos Silva to a four-year contract extending long after Washburn goes away and gets an NRI with the Nationals. "You think the first one was bad?" Bavasi asked his laptop. "You haven't seen anything yet." Indeed, this one's actually worse, and with Silva only just getting started, any good vibes I was going to get from Washburn's departure will only turn into chills up my spine as I realize that there'll still be another 60 big fat stupid starts of this rotten garbage left to go. Needless to say, that day will not be quite the euphoric experience I had in mind.
3.7 more years of Carlos Silva.
God dammit, Bill.
Biggest Contribution: Mark Lowe, +3.3%
Biggest Suckfest: Carlos Silva, -41.9%
Most Important AB: Ichiro single, +4.0%
Most Important Pitch: Thames double, -12.2%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -36.6%
Total Contribution by Hitters: -15.6%
Total Contribution by Opposition: +2.2%
(What is this chart?)
I'm going to be sparse over the coming days, as family and work obligations take priority over writing about a lousy baseball team. Be good.
0 recs | 49 comments
And...
Baek struck out the side to earn a win in extras for the hated Pads….
hcoguy - May 31, 2008
"Be good."
The Typical Idiot Fan - May 31, 2008
well said.
Fin - May 31, 2008
Glad the first person who replied took it the right way.
The Typical Idiot Fan - May 31, 2008
A rare picture of Jeff
laxtonto - May 31, 2008
joy
JI - May 31, 2008
Adrian Beltre is cool
MFAN - May 31, 2008
How stupid was this game?
King Awesome homered twice and had a WPA of 0.016.
Aaron Campeau - May 31, 2008
Selfish Beltre
He hits solo home runs in meaningless games to pad his stats. A true team player would have men on base in a close game before hitting his home runs. Just another example of how unclutch Beltre is.
/sarcasm
PDXTai - May 31, 2008
You know there are people out there who are thinking this right now.
BrianL - May 31, 2008
I'm sure most of these people call the P-I and the Times blogs their home.
Susheel Ramasahayam - May 31, 2008
No matter how bad Jeff Weaver got
At least he was only here a year and came with some heart-warming moments. So far, Carlos’ best moments include showing flashes of doing half of what we paid him to do. How ironic it is that Mr. Innings Eater now holds the shortest start of the season.
$48 Million for this? Yup…
ThundaPC - May 31, 2008
HEY
He really cares about this team! He undoubtedly threw an awesome fit in the clubhouse after the loss to REALLY get people pumped!
Jordan of Boise - May 31, 2008
Everyone has a purpose in life.
Even it’s only to serve as a bad example to others.
I prefer to think of Silva as $48 million spent to make the rest of the rotation work better. That, and to provide a daily visual reminder to the rest of the team what happens when your diet consist entirely of meatballs soaked in motor oil that you regurgitate to opposing batters every 5 days.
Hey, if we’re going to suck, don’t go halfway. Now, if we had only signed Zito….
PDXTai - May 31, 2008
Encouragement for Jeff (and others)
Here is where I can step in to offer some encouraging words:
The days until Silva’s contract ends will pass surprisingly quickly. This is because you are getting older all the time, and as such, each new day is a smaller percentage of your complete life than any preceding day has ever been. Therefore, each new day will seem shorter than any day has ever felt. I know this. I’m already old.
There, isn’t that comforting? If not, try staying in bed each fifth day with the covers pulled tightly over your head. That should cut 20% out of your life (and don’t point out that it is only every fifth day during the season—you need to continue the practice year-round as part of your off-season training ritual).
kva15 - May 31, 2008
Wait...
Isn’t each new day a greater percentage of your remaining life?
1 day/80 years < 1 day/30 years
Wilder. - May 31, 2008
Depends
on how much longer the rest of your life is. If you get hit by a bus tomorrow, then that day was 50% of the rest of your life. The rest of your life is a variable. The life you have lived is a constant (that changes incrementally each day).
kva15 - May 31, 2008
If we all got hit by buses tomorrow, it would make the Silva contract seem shorter!
Graham MacAree - May 31, 2008
You sir have sold me on this idea.
JI - May 31, 2008
Alternatively
If Carlos Silva got hit by a bus tomorrow…. Anyone got a contact with the Transit Agency?
kva15 - May 31, 2008
He'd be fine.
It’s the bus we need to worry about.
Aaron Campeau - May 31, 2008
Silva=Hancock
Mariner John - May 31, 2008
I do
He says Giant Silva would mess the buses up pretty bad upon impact.
Gomez - May 31, 2008
Guess so
Tough to clean half-digested burritos out of the grill of a bus. Hope nobody was eating breakfast.
Well, let’s all take solace that the sun is shining brightly (at least here in the Bay Area) and we are one day closer to the end of Silva’s contract.
kva15 - June 1, 2008
So you are looking at it like this?
Today: 1/6785
Tomorrow: 1/6786
Wilder. - May 31, 2008
Correct
kva15 - May 31, 2008
Music and Lyrics
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 31, 2008
What is LFOJL's favorite movie ever?
Aaron Campeau - May 31, 2008
13 Going On 30
Wilder. - May 31, 2008
Do you have a movie library? If you do, what are some of the movies you own?
Susheel Ramasahayam - May 31, 2008
I've got a bunch of movies
But, surprisingly, they’re almost 90% good movies. All the bad movies I watch are on HBO.
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 31, 2008
Is LFoJL a guy or a girl?
If the former, is he Brian Sheerson (winbjs) from the ESPN days?
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 31, 2008
What are some of the 'good' movies you won?
Susheel Ramasahayam - May 31, 2008
I wasn't watching the initial innings
Did Silva get booed out of the building when he was lifted?
Gomez - May 31, 2008
Ayup.
BrianL - May 31, 2008
The boo birds were out in force.
Susheel Ramasahayam - May 31, 2008
I turned on the TV to hear...
“7 runs on 7 hits for the tigers, going into the bottom of the first”
I turned of the TV and walked away
Fireball309 - May 31, 2008
$36,125 per day
is what that fat POS will make from today until Oct 1, 2011.
every single day. off-season, on-season, every single day.
$36,125.
Awesome.
franklloyd - May 31, 2008
Minus taxes and all the burritos he eats it's really only about 15 G's
marinator - May 31, 2008
That damn burrito tax!
Why must all the fat pitchers pay? DISCRIMINATION!
Gomez - May 31, 2008
As a college student, I won't make that much money over a 3-year period.
But this does not include my day-trading in the market.
Wilder. - May 31, 2008
Disclosure
I have never made that much in a calendar year.
Gomez - May 31, 2008
Silva got one more out then Reefer Jaw
not that it matters
mariners11 - May 31, 2008
As much as we hated Weaver last year
I think he’s probably better than three of the pitchers in our rotation right now :(
Edgar for Pres - May 31, 2008
Especially Felix and Bedard!
They can leave!
Coach Owens - May 31, 2008
Is Weaver out of baseball permanently?
I’m surprised that nobody gave him a flyer this year.
esoteric - May 31, 2008
He's in AAA for the Brewers
Jeff Sullivan - May 31, 2008
Faaaaarrrr out man...
The Typical Idiot Fan - May 31, 2008
esoteric - May 31, 2008
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