that those damn statheads may have been right about this team
But then they come in here and get outclassed with their three best starters on the mound. Makes me wonder about these guys. Not about their stats. But about whether they have what’s necessary inside to rebound from a setback. This team was supposed to be immune from losing streaks because of the improved pitching. But maybe, now that they’re off on another one, about to drop seven of nine, maybe it’s the everyday players that need to be looked at?
That fiasco sucked nuts. Hated him as a Pen, sucked while he was with the Caps, and now pay him 5 mil not play there. He had to score a certain amount or make the third round for his option to vest.
I think I have Bavasi's judgement when it comes to food
I walked into a Circle K, saw the cold sandwich section and picked up a wrapped Jalapeno Burger for two dollars. I think it’s pretty obvious where I went wrong. Also, yay Arthur Rhodes.
Near the beginning!
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
Carlos Silva is good
he just had an off-start
Corco - May 4, 2008
Or he's mediocre
and had several off-starts
Fett42 - May 4, 2008
IGNORANCE IS BLISS IGNORANCE IS BLISS
Corco - May 4, 2008
Incorrect.
See: Bill Bavasi’s record on trades.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
John Olerud never had an off-start.
He just sucked.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I don't understand this madness
Frosty Raptor - May 4, 2008
I've been drinking.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
You are not double fisting right now
you should be
JLC - May 4, 2008
That's what she-
wait, we’re not allowed to use that meme, right?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
it's okay if you get creative with it
JLC - May 4, 2008
Thats w...
Damnit!
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
You're only saying that because you're stupid
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Yeah, pretty much
Corco - May 4, 2008
So when does the game start?
I’ve had enough of watching this Yankee batting practice session.
Alex B - May 4, 2008
This is pretty much the best way to lose.
JI - May 4, 2008
Being worse than the Giants is fun.
JI - May 4, 2008
Holy shit. This team has a worse record than the Giants.
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
Last place in the AL, baby.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Really helps put things in perspective
Now I know how those hobos on the street feel when I point and laugh at them
JLC - May 4, 2008
At least I could go into a game and think
“at least we’re not the Giants.”
Fuck this team.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
In response to BrianL from the previous thread,
Romantic Comedies are the best movies because even if they suck, they’re fun to make fun of and they always end happily
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
What?
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
I hate happy endings
Movies need more genocide
Robert - May 4, 2008
Schindler's Bambi
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Is it wrong that this made me laugh uncontrollably?
BrianL - May 4, 2008
This is on the heels of the Jewriots reference.
You gotta space these things out.
JI - May 4, 2008
uh jewritos
JI - May 4, 2008
Jews aren't the only thing that can genocided
Robert - May 4, 2008
Genocide as a general term is fine with me
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Sad endings make me feel like the entire movie was a waste
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
The movie generally does that to me
Robert - May 4, 2008
...dude
Lord knows I secretly like the occasional fruity movie myself… but reeeaaaallllly?
JI - May 4, 2008
Ok, I'll word that better. Unexpected sad endings for movies that don't seem sad at first glance make the movie
feel like a waste. Like if at the end of Superbad they all got arrested and died from Lou Gehrig’s disease. It just isn’t right.
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
that would have been a good ending
JI - May 4, 2008
No that would still be hilarious
Robert - May 4, 2008
How about a movie that's about the life story of Felix Hernandez and he ends up dying at the age of 25 right before the Ms win the world Series
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
but we win the Series right
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
late
JI - May 4, 2008
We win, but it gets taken away from us because they find out that Beltre supplied the entire team with roids
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
But for a moment we actually win it right?
Robert - May 4, 2008
It's blacked out on all tvs, the stands of the stadium are poisoned so nobody is in attendance and nobody covers the game afterwards
Nobody knows that the team actually won other than the players, and they all die the minute after the game ends
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
This is less romantic comedy
And more Micheal Bay
Robert - May 4, 2008
But there's a reporter who falls in love
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
Does she die too?
Robert - May 4, 2008
No, they live happily ever after
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
No, but she's 20 years old with a pair of large C cups
JLC - May 4, 2008
I don't want to ruin the ending
but she got AIDS from JI.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
ain't I a stinker
JI - May 4, 2008
JIM THOME?
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
Saw that coming from a mile away
JLC - May 4, 2008
I thought no one was covering the game
PLOT HOLE
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
She/he is covering the game in secret!
Fuck the man!
JI - May 4, 2008
So news gets out and we are momentarily happy right?
Robert - May 4, 2008
Yeah, but Stuart Scott delievers the news
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
But I'm suffering from poison inhalation and confuse him for Kenny Mayne right?
Robert - May 4, 2008
BOOYAH
JLC - May 4, 2008
NEWS DOES NOT GET OUT DAMMIT
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
Why are they playing the game under such strange circumstances
Surely they could wait a few days
Robert - May 4, 2008
They heard the apocalypse was in a couple of days so they had to rush it
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
Why is somebody bothering to poison the stadium if everybody is going to be dead in a few days anyway?
Robert - May 4, 2008
Because that person knew it was a false alarm
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
This clearly hasn't been thought through very well
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
I am commisoning
LF o JL, Robert and Jeff to write this script. You make only use my likeness if the AIDS spreading is truly hilarious.
JI - May 4, 2008
so we're the last team in the history of humanity
to win the world series?
JLC - May 4, 2008
only after everyone dies
then everybody is sad
// crying ensues
JI - May 4, 2008
But the remaining survivors become involved
in a really cool car chase scene ala Road Warrior.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
He's trying to uncover the secret of the game
but eventually gives up to live happily ever after
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
He?
What kind of fucked up hippy movie is this?
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
I'm sure this movie would sell like hotcakes, m'boy
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
well that's not very believable
JLC - May 4, 2008
IT'S MY GODDAMN MOVIE AND I DO WHAT I WANT
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
The Poison or the M's Winning the World Series?
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
The poison
No one could poison Red successfully.
JLC - May 4, 2008
M's still win the WS.
JI - May 4, 2008
Two Thumbs Up . . . Way Up!
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
We could call it The Final Season
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
out on DVD!
JI - May 4, 2008
This explains why
a) you follow the Mariners
b) you don’t go to massage parlors
Right?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
If your sneaky enough
You can pull of a happy ending AND a genocide
Robert - May 4, 2008
There has to be an alternate universe where Germany wins WWII and takes over Hollywood.
JI - May 4, 2008
Are the Mariners winning in this universe?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Dont be retarded
Robert - May 4, 2008
depends if you and I are sharing the same time frame
JI - May 4, 2008
No it wasn't Sims, no it wasn't.
JI - May 4, 2008
Did anyone else see Iron Man?
I ask only because Jeff Bridges looked startlingly like Bill Bavasi in it
LongLiveTheKings - May 4, 2008
I wouldn't have recognized him if it weren't for his voice
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
LongLiveTheKings - May 4, 2008
Does that make Billy Beane Tony Stark?
Frosty Raptor - May 4, 2008
Bill Bavasi si frightenng
JI - May 4, 2008
Just look at our team
If you don’t believe him
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
As soon as I noticed the villain was Jeff Bridges
I couldn’t stop picturing Iron Man fighting The Dude.
Fett42 - May 4, 2008
He just wanted his rug back...
LongLiveTheKings - May 4, 2008
Lincecum/Hamels in Philly
oh my
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
ought to watch that instead
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
This game's still going?
JI - May 4, 2008
Hyphen made me think of Blackley
Isn’t he in the Phillies’ system now? So is Dobbs. And Moyer. And Mateo? What the heck is Pat Gillick doing…
Frosty Raptor - May 4, 2008
T.J. Bohn is in Philly too
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Mateo is actually a SP for the San Francisco Giants
haha
but they do have Doyle
Corco - May 4, 2008
er...the Fresno Grizzlies
Corco - May 4, 2008
Was that a 1-2-3 inning?!
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
Oh good lord.
The Baker Blog idiots are calling for Pat Borders to be named interim manager.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Pat Borders?
The former catcher?
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
Yes, that Pat Borders.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
::weeps::
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
They're idiots, what do you expect?
Coming soon: Truinfel for Griffey!
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
It's best not to think, talk, or care about them
unless they are Logan
JI - May 4, 2008
Ah Logie.
Someone should go tell him that Dave Cameron was named assistant GM.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Hey, at this point why not?
I’m not advocating it but I wouldn’t really care if it happened tomorrow
Dude is a baller
Corco - May 4, 2008
ADAM JONEZ FR MANGR!
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
Miguel Cairo for manager!
Corco - May 4, 2008
Coach Owens for manager!
Wait. Um, no.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I'd pay a small amount to see that
for a day
Corco - May 4, 2008
DO. WANT.
Robert - May 4, 2008
OK, but only if it's like one of his meltdown threads.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
That would be great.
Coach running out to yell at the home plate umpire, the umpire getting in Coach’s face. Result: a sobbing Coach meltdown.
Hilarious.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
I would pay $39.95 to see that press conference
JI - May 4, 2008
DJC for manager!
15 minutes spent at press conference spent talking about traffic in McCall Idaho.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
DO NOT BAIT
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Awwwwww. OK, Dad.
(looks at ground)
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I'd only do it drunk
Corco - May 4, 2008
Really? It would just be a lecture on the dangers of alcohol
followed by a record of Tennyson reading “The Charge of the Light Brigade.”
No, wait—that would be awesome.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
that would be the closed door motivational meeting
JI - May 4, 2008
Triunfel and Clement to Texas for Bradley and Laird
Woo!
Frosty Raptor - May 4, 2008
Yes!
because clearly Borders could prevent Silva’s regression! He could keep Richie, Vidro and Kenji from sucking!
MFAN - May 4, 2008
The only thing that could make this game worse is Beltre getting hurt in the on deck circle
LongLiveTheKings - May 4, 2008
so...
when Mussina and Rasner get destroyed in their next starts are we allowed to laugh?
MFAN - May 4, 2008
we can cry...
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
Fuck you Damon
Happybelly - May 4, 2008
THIS could not be more humiliating
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Rasner could be throwing a no hitter.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
That's impossible and defies all sorts of laws of physics
therefore THIS could not be more humiliating
Corco - May 4, 2008
The 2008 Mariners: defying physics since April.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I beg to differ.
JI - May 4, 2008
If I ever meet Damon, Jeter, or Matsui in person
I’m putting my boot through their teeth. I can go to prison I don’t care.
thewyrm - May 4, 2008
2B
Fett42 - May 4, 2008
oops
Fett42 - May 4, 2008
So we have some Valbuena kid in AA age 22
Hitting .321/.417/.506 with 14:10 BB:K… wouldn’t that be sweer if he actually turned the corner on something.
Fett42 - May 4, 2008
Go fuck yourself Derek Jeter
You god damned piece of shit short stop easy out but balerina throw so I can get on sportscenter cocksucker! Ok, I feel better.
thewyrm - May 4, 2008
I would KILL for a drink right now
thewyrm - May 4, 2008
I'd share
but that would mean less for me.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
So where the fuck is Baek?
BrianL - May 4, 2008
He pitched yesterday
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Great, we're burning through the garbage relief.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Ah that's right.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Heh heh... Yankees announcers
“It’s hard to have a good feel with your hands and feel like you’re loose enough up there.”
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
God dammit Kazmir
this is the weekend from Kabul
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
or Sadr City
Complete with free RPG in the face!
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
NO POLÃTICA
Robert - May 4, 2008
This isn't political
RPGs blowing up in your face are very non-partisan, as well as being accurate descriptions of being a Mariners fan in 2008.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Give me Sadr city anyday over this shit
Fett42 - May 4, 2008
In more AL East news
The awesomeness known as Roy Halladay made his 7th start today:
57 IP (8+ IP per start, 4 CGs)
38 K
7 BB
3.00 ERA
If anyone is Iron Man, it’s him.
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Alright I'm starting to make a far less optimistic video game parody than what I posted yesterday
Fett42 - May 4, 2008
So in other news...
The Bengals are looking into signing Shaun Alexander, saying that his hands could “improve their backfield passing game.”
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Wow, who the fuck wrote that?
JLC - May 4, 2008
The backfield passing game is of course the most important element in football.
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
It is when I play NCAA
Robert - May 4, 2008
Don't underestimate how important backfield passing is.
‘Beck could have used some better checkdown options over the last few seasons. Part of the reason I’m excited to see a Jones/Weaver/Schmitt backfield.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
And it actually turned out to be a nasty secret weapon for the Pats down the stretch
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
And we saw what _that_ got them
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
Goddamn basic formatting
Not working in the header
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
A Super Bowl appearance?
I’d take my chances being up that late in a game. It was the defense going pffft late that killed them, not their backfield passing game.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I'm honestly shocked the Pats
didn’t use the checkdown receiver more during the Superbowl.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
NOOOOOOOOOOO
we don’t play the Bengals this year :(
MFAN - May 4, 2008
I see they are handing out free crack at Bengals HQ
Rule 1: Never get high from youir own supply.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Yankee Stadium is where Mark Lowe had his breakthrough performance
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
I thought that was balitmore
Robert - May 4, 2008
No
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
I thought we were still waiting for that.
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
thats lowe's breakdown performance
Robert - May 4, 2008
Texas and Kinsler K
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
That was Morrow
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Bruce Budreau for coach
He took the Capitals from worst to first, I think he could do it here.
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
No fuckin way I’m hopping on that trainwreck
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Meet your Jack Adams winner
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
yep
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
Fuck this game
Back to the glory days, Young dbroncos31 travels to NY for one of his first baseball games.
Ken Griffey Jr makes little db very very happy.
Two bombs
dbroncos31 - May 4, 2008
So, one time at Yankee Stadium, Jr. made me really happy for about half an inning
no, I wasn’t there
JI - May 4, 2008
Jim Leyritz is a sonuvabitch
He proved this last year
dbroncos31 - May 4, 2008
OK, I'm gonna shower
and when I get back the game will be tied.
JI - May 4, 2008
PANTHER
dbroncos31 - May 4, 2008
I'm a huge Saints fan and even I hate that damn Reggie Bush playing with kids commercial
thewyrm - May 4, 2008
It's because those kids have no souls
That is the cost of being in a commercial with Reggie Bush
JLC - May 4, 2008
I LOVE REGGIE BUSH
Except the one time he decided for no reason to jump over Matt Cassell (RIP) and it was on the cover of SI the next week
seattlebruin - May 4, 2008
Rasner 6 IP 5H 2ER 0 BB 4 K
:(
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Boy does the Mariners offense make any pitching staff look good.
Fin - May 4, 2008
In related news, Gaylord Perry announces unretirement and signing with Rangers
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I bet he pitches better than Washburn
thewyrm - May 4, 2008
Against the M's?
I’m thinking no-hitter.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
And why not have Nolan Ryan come back with the Rangers while we're at it.
Fin - May 4, 2008
David Clyde, too.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Rick White. Even him.
Alex B - May 4, 2008
If you want to show-case a pitcher, we're your team
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Go Ms!
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
And take the Sonics with you?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
?
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
Let's just say
we’re lacking a MLB franchise right now.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Humiliation
:-(
Alex B - May 4, 2008
On the bright side
After this game the Yankee fans will think Rasner is a solid starter, only to have their hopes crushed during his next outing.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
Somebody said this exact thing last year
Robert - May 4, 2008
I think that was me after the DeSalvo mess
of course his next start was against us and proceeded to shut us down.
MFAN - May 4, 2008
Oh shit, Chris Drury just got a blade to the face.
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
He'll be fine
the Rangers won’t
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Clement!!!!!
MFAN - May 4, 2008
Wow
I think that was a hit.
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
OH MY DARLING CLEMENT-INE
(boomerism)
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
I really hope they don't start playing that at safeco.
Fin - May 4, 2008
Yeah because Sweet Caroline is so much better
JLC - May 4, 2008
DIE DIE DIE STAB STAB STAB
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Since my already slim hopes of this team making the playoffs
are fading, here’s my pipe-dream AL playoff scenario
West – Oakland
Central – Cleveland
East – Boston
Wildcard – Tampa Bay
Suck it, traditionalist FOs.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
I am liking that
I have a feeling that the Angels will be somewhere in there though :(
Fin - May 4, 2008
Don't burst my bubble.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
A's: not enough hitting, even with Thomas
They might eke out a wild card spot, though.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Hence "pipe-dream" scenario.
Still would be damn awesome.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Flyer Vs. Pens
Just kill me now. Would it wrong to root for a terrorist attack during a game?
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
Yeah if the Sharks don't win this is the worst playoffs ever
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Don't like the Red Wings, huh?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
only slightly more than the yankees
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
I've had enough of the Red Wings
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Red Wings are the hockey version of the yankees.
Fin - May 4, 2008
Doesn't Montreal have the most Stanley Cups?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I started watching Hockey in the 90's, when the Red Wings were perennial winners
Fin - May 4, 2008
Yeah but most of those came way before the league got big
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
So it's sort of like the Yankees
Great history, sucked recently.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Uh I don't think "sucked" is the right word
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Year where you don't win World Series = suck for yankees
It’s a tough crowd.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
No they're much more enjoyable to watch
I just don’t have any attachment to them, and never will.
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
At least there's the M's
Oh shit. I’m getting a beer
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
only slightly
vkut79 - May 4, 2008
.463 OPS for Johjima
...
vkut79 - May 4, 2008
Don't worry I'm sure he'll find his
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Well that was queer
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
NTTAWWT
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Very faggy. And I mean that in an unoffensive way
JLC - May 4, 2008
Nope
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
By comparison, Vidro is owning with .551 OPS
vkut79 - May 4, 2008
Kenji advanced the runner!
hell yes
MFAN - May 4, 2008
We needed him to hit a 6-run homerun.
This is not the game to work on advancing runners.
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
don't celebrate yet
Wlad is due for another K
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
How many Ks does Wlad have already?
BrianL - May 4, 2008
7
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Hey strikeout more, Balentien
JLC - May 4, 2008
Shit
If Wlad continues this way, it will only give motivation for Bavasi to trade him for some veteran crap.
Fin - May 4, 2008
Yeah so Wlad won't last very long with this team at his current rate
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
What other options do we have
other than to give Willie a starting job?
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Trade for a veteran Right Fielder with Big League experience.
Fin - May 4, 2008
Goodbye Triunfel
hello Griffey >:(
BrianL - May 4, 2008
I wonder which one they would target?
Kill me.
thewyrm - May 4, 2008
welcome back Guillen
MFAN - May 4, 2008
That would be great.
We’ve already lost a draft pick by not offering him arb, might as well trade a prospect for him too.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Who the fuck is that?
I honestly can’t tell.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Sad Brad
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
awww
Poor Brad.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
so...I don't think Wlad is the answer
I like Wlad and I’m glad he’s getting a chance, but…
MFAN - May 4, 2008
OK, this game officialy has me ready to walk off the rig,
wander into the tundra, find a baby seal, and club it in it’s cute whiskery face.
thewyrm - May 4, 2008
This game is a lost cause
Mac needs to get Putz some work today.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
WHY THE HELL IS MORROW IN THE BULLPEN
vkut79 - May 4, 2008
*STILL
vkut79 - May 4, 2008
Wlad this series:
1-10, 4 K
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
He caught the disease.
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
We still have a chance!
Kyle Farnsworth warming up.
Fin - May 4, 2008
I hope Farsnworth beans someone and a brawl ensues.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
or Farnsworth
as long as there’s a brawl.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
It would be the first time I've enjoyed watching the Mariners in a while.
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
This management deserves to lose
So at least there is justice there.
vkut79 - May 4, 2008
CHARGE THE MOUND!
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Morrow is diabetic
That’s like an extra five years in Purgatory.
Frosty Raptor - May 4, 2008
I'M AWAKE
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Headed to the chow hall for a tasty cafeteria burger
You guys enjoy the rest of your sunday.
thewyrm - May 4, 2008
We'll try
Alex B - May 4, 2008
But Jeff's going to post more pictures
this time of the act of cutting himself.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
But will he manage to hit the "POST" button before he bleeds out?
Alex B - May 4, 2008
With my final breath
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Can we come?
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
All right, fuck this shit
I’m never showering on gameday again
JI - May 4, 2008
There's a lot of gamedays
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Washing/cleanliness is good
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
I love the way I stink.
JI - May 4, 2008
New Mariners' motto?
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
You sure love yourself alot
JLC - May 4, 2008
Buy a Silva jersey to complete the look
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Morrow has awesome command
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
I can't watch due to blackout
does he?
Fett42 - May 4, 2008
Nope
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
He about killed two different batters.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
proxy that shit son
JI - May 4, 2008
Anyone have a recommendation for a good JAP proxy?
BrianL - May 4, 2008
I use TOR
but then again, I suck with this shit
JI - May 4, 2008
Wow, Baker's latest writeup is kind of depressing.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
The Mariners are depressing right now.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
It sounds like he's slowing starting to admit
that those damn statheads may have been right about this team
BrianL - May 4, 2008
On the plus side we've owned Chad Moeller
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Now he won't be able to look his kids in the eyes
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
We’re never gonna win another game are we?
OlSalty - May 4, 2008
Nope.
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
Honestly
that would be pretty cool.
I could root for that.
Let’s trade Felix for Barry Zito
Corco - May 4, 2008
13-149 will set a major league record or five
Gomez - May 4, 2008
We can do it, I believe in us
OlSalty - May 4, 2008
Reward my loyalty and perseverance, Mariners
Come from behind win! Rally time!
JLC - May 4, 2008
OH GOD DANGER DANGER IN THE BULLPEN
Robert - May 4, 2008
whatever
if he melts down bad enough we might get to see Willie pitch
Corco - May 4, 2008
I would pay to see that
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
Yes please
Alex B - May 4, 2008
M's swept, Rays swept, fuck me dead
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
JI can help you with that
but it might take a while
Robert - May 4, 2008
You're gonna have to wait
He likes ‘em nice and squishy
OlSalty - May 4, 2008
why does everybody think I have AIDS?
JI - May 4, 2008
Because you do?
I seen those AIDS you have one time.
BrettJMiller - May 4, 2008
You could start rooting for the Giants
they’re threatening to win 2 straight
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
All we need is the Sharks to lose to make the trifecta, right?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
JI - May 4, 2008
one of the best dugouts is the one where Farnsworth is the Time's Man of the Year
but it’s not available in the archives.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
MUST FIND
JI - May 4, 2008
FOUND
JI - May 4, 2008
That was a good read.
Fin - May 4, 2008
RIP The Dugout
JI - May 4, 2008
Yeah, they haven't been the same after selling out
although I always thought Nick’s articles were never funny.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
I want my big book of Dugouts
(yes I know this is legally impossible)
JI - May 4, 2008
Would be awesome like Calvin & Hobbes' Collection
I’d just settle for an archived Dugout of old with an index. I just want to read articles containing either Farnsworth or Bonds.
wait the fresh prince is about black people
barry bonds is black people
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
the old archives were much better
JI - May 4, 2008
Maybe we should try using corked bats.
Or would that be too obvious when consistently hit fly balls to the warning track?
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
OPS+ of 94, R/G of 4.16, GPA of .236
our offense has been better than Kansas City and Minnesota.
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
So, I guess the sabremetric projections were right?
(does some math)
hmm, projects to 680 runs over the season.
:(
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I was right on target!
Yay for hasty estimating!
JI - May 4, 2008
It sucks being Cassandra
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Projections might be right?
I guess that’s why we play the game…or…uhm…
BrianL - May 4, 2008
I hate science and probability
Logic and mathematical objectivity too. Damn you callous and indiscriminate truth. I want to believe in the Mariners.
Frosty Raptor - May 4, 2008
I hate the Mariners
seattlebruin - May 4, 2008
Malkin scores Pens up 2-0
Well, if the Rags lose the Capitals will be off the hook on owing Jagr any more money next year. So we got that going for us.
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
Whoa I completely forgot about that
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
We Haven't
That fiasco sucked nuts. Hated him as a Pen, sucked while he was with the Caps, and now pay him 5 mil not play there. He had to score a certain amount or make the third round for his option to vest.
Suck It Jagirl.
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
I think I have Bavasi's judgement when it comes to food
I walked into a Circle K, saw the cold sandwich section and picked up a wrapped Jalapeno Burger for two dollars. I think it’s pretty obvious where I went wrong. Also, yay Arthur Rhodes.
Frosty Raptor - May 4, 2008
I'm wondering what Maclaren will say after this game
Its entertaining to see how mad/depressed he gets
vkut79 - May 4, 2008
I've got a feeling
it will be another no-media postgame with Mac.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
We're through 5 pitchers. Its the 8th inning.
I’m taking a nap.
angrybeltre - May 4, 2008
Colossus of Rhodes
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
I saw him at the grocery store once
seattlebruin - May 4, 2008
Why didn't you beat the shit out of him?
BrettJMiller - May 4, 2008
Did you remind him that his house burned down?
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
No, but I regretted it later
seattlebruin - May 4, 2008
Man I hope he melts down.
JI - May 4, 2008
Snap
I want value from my MLB.tv subscription, dammit.
Alex B - May 4, 2008
On the positive side
the bullpen looked good today.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Because they were not under pressure.
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
so the solution is horse tranquilizers then
JLC - May 4, 2008
Eight Belles says Ow My Ankles!
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
I love when horses get murdered
why to render yourself useless, Belles.
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Render yourself useless
Unless you get yourself rendered
Robert Lintott - May 4, 2008
Death by trotting
oh the injustice
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
If any Mariner breaks his ankle
can we euthanize them?
MFAN - May 4, 2008
Or....
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
Must go faster. MUST GO FASTER!
Fett42 - May 4, 2008
Richie: hey we have the same arms
Dinosaur: AJRHGIRURRRRRRWRWERWERRRRRRCHOMP
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
They always eat the useless assholes in those movies
JI - May 4, 2008
Not throwing meatballs in Yankee Stadium?
WHAT A FUCKING CONCEPT
Robert - May 4, 2008
MELT DOWN YOU FUCKER GIVE ME MY MONEY'S WORTH
JI - May 4, 2008
Oakland is closer to Seattle than LA
you fucking morons.
MFAN - May 4, 2008
...
Uhm, who made your map?
Frosty Raptor - May 4, 2008
Oakland=Northern California. LA=Southern California.
BrettJMiller - May 4, 2008
The Yankee broadcast is painting a sad picture the Mariners dugout.
You know it is bad when the other team starts feeling bad for you.
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
of* the Mariners dugout.
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
Details?
Fin - May 4, 2008
They are showing the sad faces in the Mariners dugout and talking about the 1-5 roadtrip.
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
And the plane ride home
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Now that is just said.
I was watching ESPN last night, and apparently, Raul Ibanez leads the league in balls thrown onto the outfield!
Fin - May 4, 2008
just sad*
Fin - May 4, 2008
Yeah, I saw that at 3 a.m. last night and chuckled.
Everyone is seeing how lame this offense is.
Wilder. - May 4, 2008
Again, Putz needs to pitch next inning.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
After the 6 run rally in the top of the ninth.
Fin - May 4, 2008
Oh look at that
it’s the 9th inning.
Meh.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
It's unlikely we'll be needing a closer this season so let's do it
Alex B - May 4, 2008
That was at the knees somehow
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Jose Vidor is still alive?
JI - May 4, 2008
shit
JI - May 4, 2008
Thats Pepe Vidro to you
Hopefully we will get some of Pepe’s HR power.
Fin - May 4, 2008
at least he's smart enough to reverse switch hit
JI - May 4, 2008
he batted right handed?
Good call King Vidor
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
Proof that some people are aware of splits
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
not so sure of this
JI - May 4, 2008
Vidro for manager
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Oh good it's Fruitbat
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Wait,
why is Pepe batting against a right handers?
Fin - May 4, 2008
...huh I just caught that too.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Rivera's cutter
JI - May 4, 2008
Willie! Willie! Willie!
JI - May 4, 2008
FEEL THE POWER!!!
Alex B - May 4, 2008
We couldn't beat Fresno.
JI - May 4, 2008
3 outs on 8 pitches
Says it all really
:-(
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Mojo Risin'!
vkut79 - May 4, 2008
Ship Sinkin'!
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Fin - May 4, 2008
This needs to be the new LL picture
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I'd like it if some of these guys would start playing for themselves
Gomez - May 4, 2008
TBS game of the week
like / dislike ?
JI - May 4, 2008
Don't have cable.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Holy fuck Jim Kaat got old.
JI - May 4, 2008
Haren v Santana!
JI - May 4, 2008
Right, who's still alive?
Alex B - May 4, 2008
I'd say this is a triumph
Huge success, I’m still alive.
BrianL - May 4, 2008
Not the reporter who fell in love
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Did we ever find out if said reporter was a man or a woman?
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
It should be a dude named Aaron Andrews
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Can I at least give a chick AIDS?
JI - May 4, 2008
You give AIDS to Jose Vidro's wife, forcing him to leave the team
whereupon he gets AIDS and dies
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
I love happy endings
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
It was a man
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - May 4, 2008
So I saw the first 3 innings
When you get nuked by Melky Cabrera and Robinson Cano… you have issues.
Gomez - May 4, 2008
well, off to hockey, golf, and the dodgers
oh yeah, and PORN
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
SHARKS SHARKS SHARKS SHARKS SHARKS
SHARKS
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Off to write the wrap up and go to a party
Gomez - May 4, 2008
So at least King Awesome was awesome
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Just have that as your recap
The sooner we forget this game the better.
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
Geoff Baker
“To answer your questions from the comments section, yes, it is difficult to watch this every day.”
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Is it?
I hadn’t noticed.
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Only 'cos you're such a grizzled vet
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Jeff Sullivan: a veteran blogger who's been through wars
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Too many wars
cease fire please
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
good god no
JI - May 4, 2008
Unconditional surrender?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Oh, and
Hadn’t noticed, can’t remember…..same difference
Alex B - May 4, 2008
Uh Ohs
Rags score 2 in about a minute. Tied now 2-2
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
Rays making a comeback...
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
Responding to you is broken >:(
BrettJMiller - May 4, 2008
Incorrect.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
It is up above....
BrettJMiller - May 4, 2008
Atleast they know how to make a comeback.
Fin - May 4, 2008
We have many come from ahead losses
BrettJMiller - May 4, 2008
Too Accurate.
Fin - May 4, 2008
We also have many never ahead losses
:(
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
So hockey is quite watchable isn widescreen...
JI - May 4, 2008
M's got u drinkin early today?
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
When DON'T they cause binge drinking?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
not wasiting my alcohol on htem
JI - May 4, 2008
or typing skills apparently
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
I am curious to see what JI's drunk typing looks like
sadly this is his sober typing.
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
proofreading is for pussies
JI - May 4, 2008
The red squiggly line in your browser
has purposes other than decoration.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
LIES
seattlebruin - May 4, 2008
NO SPELLCHECK IN SUBJECT LINES
JI - May 4, 2008
no
JI - May 4, 2008
Someone is suggesting this trade on KOMO
Baek+O’Flaherty for Hamilton
(dies laughing)
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I like it
Make it happen Bavasi and I will forgive you for EVERY other ridiculous move
seattlebruin - May 4, 2008
So, you realize the Rangers would have to hire Bavasi, right?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Their GM isn't the sharpest tool either.
Fin - May 4, 2008
Did he trade Soriano for HoRam?
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
No, but he did trade Soriano for Wilkerson
esoteric - May 4, 2008
That was a salary dump.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Not really
Soriano was getting paid rather little. As strange as it seems now, a lot of very smart people thought the Rangers won that trade at the time.
esoteric - May 4, 2008
Salary figures from B-R.com
Wilkerson: 3.9 million
Sledge and Galarraga: MLB minimums, probably
Soriano: 10 million
I still say “salary dump”.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Whom did the Reds even get for Hamilton?
I remember it was a pitcher, but does he have much upside?
JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo - May 4, 2008
Edison Volquez
JLC - May 4, 2008
Yikes!
Edanger6 - May 4, 2008
Yeah, so that doesn't look like a complete failure of a trade
Anyone who can win in GABP is pretty valuable.
esoteric - May 4, 2008
You're kidding, right?
http://www.baseball-reference.com/v/volqued01.shtml
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I don't think Bill can trade with himself :(
seattlebruin - May 4, 2008
Exactly.
Trust me, nobody except for Bill would trade a guy who’s got a lifetime OPS of .917 for a AAAA starter and a lefty relief specialist.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
I know. I'm aware of how good Josh Hamilton is
here’s the part where I have two options
- Normal people: crap, sarcasm failed, fail fail fail on me
- F’nA’s: show me where in the rulebook it says that the home team can’t force another team to trade its best player
seattlebruin - May 4, 2008
Can we atleast discuss this?
Fin - May 4, 2008
Only if the moon is made of cheese
seattlebruin - May 4, 2008
I think that happens
in the universe where I’m dating Angelina Jolie.
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Ditto
Fin - May 4, 2008
Just give Baek and O'Flaherty to Texas
Let’s at least make sure of a third-place finish.
Alex B - May 4, 2008
It finally happened: the Nationals passed the Mariners
Washington: 14-18
Seattle: 13-19
Time to start watching the OTHER Washington baseball team, folks.
(As a fan of both teams, I’m hoping that the Nats’ recent run isn’t somehow karmically related to the M’s EPIC FAIL.)
esoteric - May 4, 2008
WHAT THE FUCK????????????
Giants 14-18
M’s 13-19
MFAN - May 4, 2008
It gets better
TX 1, A’s 0, 6th inning
Last place in the AL, here we come. Wheeeee!
eponymous_coward - May 4, 2008
Whoa I just realized I forgot to post yesterday's chart
well it’s up now anyway
Jeff Sullivan - May 4, 2008
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