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Lookout Landing

5/7: Open Game Thread, Part 3

You know what I haven't tried in a while? Origami.

0 recs  |  748 comments

Comments

Yuni DP FTL
DVDA

god damn that was a fast reply
check the time stamps

it really wasn’t

~1 minute...not bad for coming back with a relevant image
Fuck off Yuni.
Here comes K number 2.
It appears this team thinks the only way to score runs is with the long ball

There looks to be a complete refusal to score runs any other way or swing for anything other than a home run.

we can also score when the other team errs
Feel free to continue the Cannibal! discussion
There's a fatal flaw in that scene
Frenchy fucked up his line
You'd think they'd notice
you assume they cared
I dunno. Trey Parker seems pretty into music. I know I'd be upset if that got into my film
It was a pretty casual project
This is a casual website, but you still care about typos
And yet JI hasn't been banned, immolated
On occasion I bring the funny
NO SPOILERS
how did Yuni lay off that?
Wow, he laid off.
I actually have a good feeling with Yuni up, now there is absofuckinlutely no reason to have that but I do.
?

Related stories on Lookout Landing

  • 5/7: Open Game Thread, Part 2 about 8 hours ago

???

your confusion confuses me
8 hours ago?

Beluga Tits wasn’t pitching

hahaha

7 outs until the end

If I cut off the top of my cake could I eat it?
The cake is a lie.
Brad Wilkerson=Companion Cube?
you can eat anything you put your mind to
or your mouth around
Jeff would know
That sounds a lot worse than it did in my head
More easily than with your mind
Could I eat it without dying?
Probably

But that’s true of most things

KKKKKKK

Awesome job, Yuni.

That was not a strike.
Fuck this umpires mom in her ear.
Gameday barely thinks that's a strike

Joe’s Tracer probably puts it somewhere in the Sound.

Wlad up

Automatic 3-run homerun.

You killed it

I will now kill you

We could use another 3-run jack here, Mr. Crusher.
aw fuck they're rallying that means I have to pay attention to the game again
I really don't think you do
Wlad knew that one sucked.
He's so gonna strikeut.
come on ump

sure that one wasn’t a strike?

Am I missing something or have they abandoned the rally fries?
(this is a good thing)
they're gone until the team's back over .500
maybe they know it's pointless
Maybe the fans have abandon the signs
or the stadium
or life
They ate the cake?
They could only be so lucky
Blowers realized he did not get a deal like ARod.
THROW THE BALL ASSHOLE
I HATE THIS TEAM

So when do the autistic kids try doing the wave
They started in the car on the way to the game
When do they stop?
the wave has a lot more rocking back and forth than I remembered
Whenever the fuck they want
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
GEOFF BAKER BLAMES WLAD!!!
Fuck Geoff Baker.

Fuck Chuck Armstrong
Fuck Howard Lincoln
Fuck Bill Bavasi
Fuck Nintendo
Fuck everyone employed by this fucking awful franchise.

I quit

Does that mean I am saved from the fucking?

Are you employed by Nintendo or the Seattle Mariners?
I used to work for the Mariners
You're safe.
I used to work for the Seahawks.
Can you get me tickets?
Despite what people tell you

If you work for a sports team then you can always get people tickets

You wildly underestimate my former job position.
Damn.
I still have a collection of polo shirts

and an autographed Josh Brown football.

Fuck dreamboat >:(
What you do?
Come on "everything"

Come on “everything”

I served food during training camp.
Saved?
Who's doing the fucking?

Is this related to how we were instructed to fuck everything?

Coach is doing the fucking.
Odd

He always struck me as the molestee

All that repressed anger he's stored up

since coming to LL has turned him into a serial rapist.

Jason Isringhausen would save us a lot of time
Felix estblishes the fastball everytime he finds me cheating
oh fuck all
Why am I watching?

Do I have a sick enjoyment of pain?

What an ironic ending to the stanza!
If/when we lose we'll be in sole possession of last place in the AL

Also we failed to put the ball in play that inning

new pitcher?

I bet it’s green

damn

that had a 98% chance of being correct.

McLaren was ejected.

You must have forgotten this. We understand your error in judgment.

Well he's warming up now
Mariners Baseball: The Goatse's Widening!
NO PHOTOSHOPS

SUBTHREAD CLOSED

Just let that child-molester-looking mofo

bend us over and ream us
YEAH UNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Could've gone without the sound effect
I felt it drove my point home well
This is lilke the turducken of suck.
well said
What's it like to blog for a good team, John?
JeffS make-a-wish foundation dream is to guest blog Field Gulls
Bedard is busy murdering McLaren in the clubhouse.
Please implode.
So our middle-of-the-order got Boof Bonser'd
Thanks, Chuck, you magnificent bastard.

You’ve sealed this team’s doom by the infamous “vote of confidence”.

I pick August 13th for Mac being fired, October 1 for Bavasi.

August 13 is my birthday.

This would be all the birthday present I could ask for.

Ich werde Sie Seefahrer ficken. Ich werde Sie verdammen. Ich hasse Sie. Ficken Sie ab.
Graham is going to have Livan Hernandez nightmares
I'm going to download Lost Levels

it’ll be less frustrating than this.

Walk Walk KKK

We all could have done that… why are they getting paid?

Huh, this game is still going?

I fell asleep in my chair.

I would be really interested in tracking %-comments-relevant-to-game over time
Sorry, I screwed up the curve. :(
asystole!!
It would be like a lame parabola if we're losing and an exponential function if we have an offense
I have never talked about anything other than the game.

Sure, blame me. What else is new.

Rangers threaten to score.

meh.

Threaten?

They already have, you just don’t know it yet.

THERE'S GREEN!!!!!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey look at it this way the Angels lost

So we’ll still only be 7.5 games behind 1st place wooooooooo

At least we scored some runs.
*Dick to the face*
Oh yeah?!

Well at least we have the Space Needle!

Er….. shit.

The Space Needle is the coolest building on earth.
Somebody hasn't been to a McDonald's Play Area
He said coolest

not hottest

I hate the fucking tube slide

I always feel like I’ll get stuck

Eat less McDonald's
but it's so tas.... actually

. .
~

I hate the static shocks I would get
that was the second wosrt thing
I've actually found there to be more 3rd grade girls at the space needle for field trips

...

that’s not what you meant?

Back in 1963.
Oakland won.

Ergo, we are now behind TWO teams by almost double digits.

This also means we're 7.5 behind the wild card

Yay

I eagerly await the upcoming recap.
What's to be written?

That hasn’t already been written 100 times this season already. It’s wash rinse repeat with this shit.

Do we have to have a recap?
We need a recap that's like one of these game threads
Can we recap the game thread instead?
There's like 60 topics here
IAWTP

Endorse endorse endorse

I'll write now and save Jeff the trouble

OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS

needs more bold
You've now written the recaps for the rest of the season.
Thuhhhhhhh Sun'll come out tomorrow
RAIN RAIN RAIN!
Are you going to try to bake another cake?
Sounds like he ate the first one
No more musicals, please.
Better?

OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS

Gold star bonus for the block quoting
Correction

intentional block quote

correct as always
Check that bat for heroin
If it's a Mariner bat, this would explain some things.
It is pretty sad when the announcers get all worked up about how well the

defense covered that bunt.

Huh, Carlos Gomez hit for the cycle.
Suck it, Tom Goodwin
John Mabry too.
So where was that pitch, ump!?

That was good enough to ring Yuni up!

Rhodes is 1 ball away from killing the umpire
In the spirit of my "fuck everything" post, here's this amusing image

no politics
Huh I didn't notice that "fuck war fuck peace" thing

Sorry.

I was kidding
crazy liberal
Instead of politics can we insult each other with different genres of art?
Up yours, Cubist!
Get your hands off me you damn dirty realist
Faggot pointillist
I'm too depressed to determine the seriousness of your posts.

I need a happy song in the worst way.

Who are you imitating the insane clown posse?
So how is your fantasy team doing?
i sat carlos gomez tonight.

whoops.

Gomez apparently hit for the cycle on my bench
Nobody cares amirite.
No one cares about my fantasy team
Since you brought it up

Half of my fantasy team are Mariners so in conclusion go fuck myself.

IT WAS A TRAP BANNED BANNED BANNED

BANNED

Oh noes

I thought you actually cared about my fantasy team for a second! Fuck life

I care about your fantasy team, Jeff.
I don't have one

am I doing it wrong?

And we've sunk to a new low
Sean Green

Bases-loaded specialist.

No shit.

Hey..bases loaded…get the guy that throws like a frisbee!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

SEAN GREEN!!!!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!

Hey it's better to be right late than never
AGAINST A LEFTY!!!

YES YES YES YES

Just when you think it can't get any more stupid
Buckle your seat belts

We are about to hit the .400 mark

.400 WOOO!!!

oh…winning percentage.

2004 Mariners: .389

We’re that close

That's good if you're talking avg or obp....
Thats an outstanding batting average!
OK, JI's slacking.

man, that's a lot of shampoo in the corner.
2 yr supply at least
Eternal ennui takes a toll on his soul and his hair's natural moisture
reminds me of evil spiderman
That girl has a stache.
more of a stache than I can grow >:(
my eyebrows are still coming in
Go ahead and screw up Green.

These all get credited to Rhodes.

Stuff I don't usually notice

Milton Bradley doing a dance and jog while the pitcher is warming up.

Is this guy related to Wade?
I insist that you pore through last night's game thread and find out

come back to report your findings.

Marinator must be my alter ego!

OOOOOO!

Explain
but don't
The world's greatest mystery will never be told now because of you
Miguel Batista already wrote that mystery
loading that thing up will cause his computer to take a shit
He's black...

so my initial guess is going to be yes.

the bases are loaded

how did I miss this?

Wade Boggs' totally illegitimate love child
why illegitimate?

you don’t see the resemblance?

Burke for goalkeeper!
Fuck you Gerber
We're fucking everything, Jeff.
I love themes

not so much Gerber…

Then you'd think we'd end up fucking the man eventually
He's after the Blender too >:(
We'll work our way up there.
WE ONLY HAVE TWO INNINGS FUCK FASTER
I'm fucking, I'm fucking.

God you’re a demanding SOB.

TWSS?
Girls never say that
Ah here comes a run or four.
I sense a five run homer coming
about as realistic as the M's scoring some runs here
phrases I like saying:

Creutzfeldt-Jakob

Also fun to diagnose
also fun to say: Prions!
Not so fun to watch.

or have.

What the quark?
oh my science!
speaking of this

I have what I feel will be an irresistible urge to give any offspring of mine foreign first names. just to fuck with them.

Kwame Carruth
Dawyne
needs more apostrophe
Dawyn'e
I'll pronounce it like donnie
needs more q
Dwyan'eqisha
De'qway'noplatz
no politics
I like it

No Politics Carruth

You rang?

This man begs to differ.

Bourne > Bond
Wrong.

Sean Connery > Matt Damon

Sims: "2-0, managable deficit"

No it’s not.

Not for the Mariners

2-0 means Game Over.

out, out, maybe an out
Burke, Cairo, Ichiro?

I never thought I’d say this but…

THERE HAD BETTER BE A VIDRO SIGHTING IN THIS INNING

I'm willing to settle for a Kenji sighting.
No..he hacks too much..I have faith in a Burke walk.
Well I'll be damned
Wahoo
We need more 3-run, 8th inning faith.

Make. It. Happen.

Good news: Vidro sighting.

Bad news: it’s at the hot dog vendor.

The season has been as much fun as getting Corco plastered than having him watch Loose Change
I'd pay to see that.
Did JI post his pictures yet?
no

don’t care anymore

You're as disappointing as the Mariners

that was the only thing we had to look forward to in this game

there's picture of Captain picard giving the brid

further up the thread

Will that hold you over?

Perhaps

I’m just not sure if we’ll ever have another baserunner

Sweet mercy Padilla is out!
OK

Burke bloop single, PH Vidro for Cairo, line drive up the middle, Ichiro double, JoLo bunt, Ibanez IBB, Beltre walk, Clement GSFB!

Are you on crack?

It ends at the Vidro GDIP.

NVM

Cairo is batting, wtf

Uh... I mean.... GIDP
We got two hits off of Vicente Padilla.

Two hits.

we know

We know.

My new game for the month of march is to read every thing that Coach says in Butters voice
month of may

fuck it balls

Blame it on the lousy Smarch weather
I love LL's endless Treehouse of Horror memes
Thats good
the memes are cursed
that's good
I'd like to qualify that statement
It's May
Planning ahead
Butters is too awesome to be associated with Coach.
Coach is like a lame version of Butters.

When I read his comments I hear Big bird’s voice.

I've forgotten what Big Bird sounds like
IMA RAPE YOU GOOD
is what he sounds like
Did you take some of my cake?
he sounds awefully black

uh

like this

Big Bird had a little sugar in the tank
fucking google assholes that's the wrong video
There is no post

But at the same time no errors!

A hidden message!

Someone find the next clue!

Sims: "Outstanding performance by Padilla".
I could probably homer off the autistic kid.
I don't think he'd make a very good tee
I fail to see what other use he has.
Don't know until you try
Try after hilarious try
He'd be too afraid to tell you to stop
Outstanding performance by [opposing pitcher]

I’m so tired of hearing that.

Burke. Lean into every pitch, regardless of what type of pitch.
pinch fucking run already.
WHAT THE FUCK!?

CAIRO IS STILL HITTING!?

This surprises you why?
PH!!! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK
Why is Cairo on deck?
Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo.

Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo.

Cairo's a vet, he isn't going to be pinch hit for.
Egypt has no hits this year and you're leaving him in?
Seriously though, Vidro is a decent PH

What in the blue hell

Although Vidro has been terrible vs. left-handers this year.
Vs. Righties I mean.
THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY

THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY

This is the reason you don't want McLaren fired.
The hell you say.

If we’re going to lose, let’s do it in style. Fuck, bring back Bill Plummer.

LOL

Cairo hitting in 8th: FAIL

Cairo hitting ever: FAIL
This guy doesn't look Arab.
Meh.

Sit down JJ.

Mighel Cairo, Professional HItter
Mighel/s/Mighell
Oh God Sims why did you tell me that?
Cairo at full power.
Was that a Cairo FB?
The camera man thought so.
Okay the cameraman is next on the fucking list
Don't try to hit for power Cairo you dumb fuck

This is fucking stupid I hate

Only hope:

Ichiro Power Swing.

CAIRO POWER YEAH
A clout worthy of Dan Wilson
Missed the bat flip
and the grittiness
and the inside the park grand slam awesomeness
Don't lump dan the man in with cairo....
Except Dan could actually hit homers once.
Ichiro, summon your unholy strength!
LOAFIES ON DECK
Let's all just listen to Three Little Birds over and over again until this game disappears
while dropping acid
power swing please

Mr Suzuki.

k, thx. bye.

CAIRO FUNK FLYOUT
GET A FUCKING HIT
This game needs more nude Pink Ranger.
Ball fucking four.
four was asking for it
she's such a little slut
She used to have such laughter in her eyes
Now it's been replaced by shame
Shame and semen
four is a cock tease
You make me smile, Matthew.
not as much as four does

but I try

and another

Ichiro refuses to let JoLo or Ibanez fuck this inning up

2 Hits Against Texas Pitching

13th place: LA 4.44 ERA
14th pace: Texas 5.08 ERA

SEXY TIME EXPLOSION

WANT

NOW

umm rec'd?
Benoit? More like Ben-why is he pitching?
cfvyuhj;lohr';/[]"|
thats me attempting to reply to you with my face
Isn't that how you usually type?
OH NO YOU DI INT
I approve of the deliberate typo
(it's sassy black speak)
(needs more Z snap)

snaaaaaaaaaaaaaap
s
n
a
a
a
a
a
a
p
snaaaaaaaaaaaaaap

FUCK
hahaha

u r gay now

That took way too fucking long to create too
should've used blockquotes
Good to know
I know that's why I approve
I am capable of typing like that not on purpose if need be.
Its taken me 4 months but I finally baited you into insulting me

I feel all Grahamy

This is better than any joke Coach could come up with.

And here I thought you were going to go with a tasteless joke
It's pronounced "Ben- wah"
"Ben-wah" more like Ben-dead in his house after killing his family!
rec'd
I love when jokes contain an element of truth
It really was a flawless joke.
Here's a suggestion

Jokes work better when they are actually funny.

Hamilton is good.
That was a pop-up

And the ball is white..he has a built in sensors for shit that color

TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
FREAKING CAMERA MAN!!!!! GRRRRRRRR!!!!
Wow i thought that was funk god damnit
FUCK THIS CAMERA MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK THIS CAMERAMAN
3 outs away from season over.
Fuck camera men...
Fuck this shit I hate this shit

This is the most boring offense I’ve had the displeasure of watching since ever

or 2004
I'd say this is even more pathetic.
I would call this offense more frustrating overall
Edgar at least had some nostalgia to keep us interested.
Camera man needs horrible genocide against him.
STOP FUCKING WITH ME CAMERA MAN!!!!

fucking cunt bag piece of shit fucker. die in a housefire.

looks like camera man is in trouble
fuck this team
That's what she- goddamn it, dead meme.
FUCK ME I'M OUT
Wait your god damn turn, will you?

I’m working on fucking everything.

How's that going, by the way?
4 is a freak
Cameraman has his iphone/blackberry/[insert internet phone] out...

Reading LL and being like, hey this shit is working “LOL”

That soaring flyout was a real cockpunch - is that cameraman that real reason that Niehaus can't call a flyball anymore?
Fire his ass.
Niehaus has better eyes than that camera man.
The Rainiers are going to start promoting their bad players to Seattle to get some work
Youre on fire tonight.

I find you funnier when lacking hope.

In honor of our 1.99 ERA Starter with no run support

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2008/5/7/482292/5-7-open-game-thread-part#5749790

Is meta a dead meme yet?
is dead meme a dead meme yet?
it would be meta if it wasn't
You know, "JeffS" is starting to become

a dead meme.

im ago nna start typoi nd wit ot a things no w
oh my god

this is what I look like to everyone else

Dear god I hope thats not how you type

although that might explain how you give everyone aids

The not-banning-you meme is deader than AK's sister's brain
If you ban him

can you at least un-ban him once a month for our entertainment?

Only if we behave
It's like in Small Soldiers how they let out the really crazy one from his chains when they really need him
Served! Served! Served! Served!
I wasn't insulting you.
But I was insulting you
Glad we cleared that up...
Fiar enough...

Sorry, I didn’t realize all such things were dead memes… I’ll keep it down

Nice high hard one Brandon

Still would’ve rather had Linecum

Can someone explain to me why we didn't pick Lincecum
Why do the Mariners org do any of the stupid things they do?

because they are sado masochistic fan-enjoyment rapists

Hey, Fontaine is a great scout VP guy.
Oh really well what the fuck does his job entail?

because whatever it is it must not matter much

he's smaller than your average bear
I didnt want him
Linecum.

Hmmmm…... so many jokes. I will refrain.

something you snort?
I've seen some weird shit
At the rate we're going, everything will become a dead meme and we'll have to just look at the open game thread with appreciative silence
We can only have as many posts as the M's get hits.
Urge to Party Hard... rising...
Do it and you're dead
PARTY ON DUDES AND DUDETTES!
What the fuck is your problem?

Will no one else in the non-internet world pay attention to you?

I believe we've established that no they won't
That is actually what one of the vendors at Safeco says.
I have no idea whether or not this is a funny.
Frankly I have a hard time believing it's true
Checklist of funny:

1) Did Coach say it?
2) Did Coach intend for it to be serious?

If you answered yes to both questions…

I am foggy on #2.
What if you end up with

1) no
2) yes
?

That's a different checklist
Maybe Coach is just so smart that his humor is on a different level than ours.

His IQ is over 120, just so you know

all signs point to no
That guy spits in peoples drinks
NO DON'T DO IT
Let's all just watch the video at the same time and try to break the youtubes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuw7tcftAoU

yeah that was terrible
You're Spuds McKenzie?
Spuds was Marketing Dog Of The Year in 1987
Who likes to Rock the party? Who likes to rock the party? Who likes to rock the party?

...
...
I like to rock the party

This game needs more

This needs more game
THERE we go.
"Ron Washington's right hand guy" is disgusting if your mind is in the gutter
Remember that Judas was Jesus' right hand man all along
not a big fan of the circle jerk?
Its always about him
I can see why that relationship went nowhere.
This game needs more

Mickey Mouse?
I do enjoy dots

they’re an underrated candy

Hydrogen cyanide?

It is the official drink of the series, after all.

I thought it was KCN, potassium cyanide
OK, so add some potassium hydroxide to it.

Problem solved.

Do I hear Bonds?

rimshot

dancing Beltre?
VETERAN CHEMISTRY!
because of tonight's game

I’m going to kill bare minimum 100 innocent victims tonight in Liberty City. The madness

They better not be jewish, gay or aborted
I saw an Amish dude the other day.

Headshot :)

Most innocent bystanders are either Spanish black or prostitutes
FUCK YOU I HAD A FRIEND THAT WAS A SPANISH BLACK PROSTITUTE
No you aren't doing it right

It’s “go fuck yourself”

also can i get your friend’s digits

So thats what Jeff used to do...
In that case

I take back my German post earlier.

Dont click

On lilmissbeautypageants on the ingame internet.

Just dont.

Well now I'm interested in the ensuing hilarity

It’s your fault

I wont spoil it for you.

But expect death.

Have you gotten Kate to put out yet?

I’ve taken her on like 6 dates and no luck yet.

Kate?

Not that far into the game, I’m barely passed the part where the first girl double crossed me.

Ahh yeah, that bitch, when you get to Kate, don't bother, she never gives it up
Some of us are more interested in smashing than playing the story right now

but thanks

polar bonding?
If you're keeping track

8 of the M’s 10 smallest crowds at Safeco are in 2008

If you're Howard Lincoln

you would know this is caused by global warming.

It's also the fault of the fans.
Not the fault of the management putting together a massive payroll team that cant hit.

/sarcasm

if there were more fans

global warming wouldn’t be such an issue!

There'll be lots of fans finding fault this season

Chuck needs to be reminded of the 1980’s.

Old Morrow is back
Old Morrow never left.
Watch out..he may uncork one your way...by accident.
Throw the next one at the bull
I dont think he has pitched enough to really have an "old" and a "new"
3 more outs and the season is over.
I thought this was Goose's job
Raul Rules.

In Bed.

Doubt it.

Ewe.

Bloomquist PH for Clement?

Season over.

Rally Caps

Heh.

Go home.

Bloomquist in for Clement

yeeeesss

WILLIE BOOM BOOM

The towel, it is thrown in

John McLaren is gone
Ejected managers still decide everything
What?
They just do it from the clubhouse
No way.
What the hell is the point of ejecting a manager then?
that is probably the stupidest thing i have ever seen
WHY THE HELL IS BLOOMQUIST PINCH HITTING FOR CLEMENT

JOKE JOKE JOKE RIGHT??

Lefties can't hit lefties.

Duh.

Scientific fact
Clement's confidence declining......
He has two other right handed hitters on the bench. Why Willie?
Fuck this team, Fuck Willie Bloomquist, Fuck McSquinty Jr.
yes, this is our lineup

Don't forget the "Bloomquist, PH" in for Clement.
This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang, but a whimper

Also,

it’s not like he doesn’t have options. Vidro and Johjima are both on the bench and both hit right handed

Ladies and Gentlement, your 2008 Mariners!

Yikes, borderline offensive.
Schaivo had better pop
Definitely had better plate discipline.
what too soon?
We've had worse
THIS IS MENT FOR YOU AK!
Its because he has struck out in half of his at bats in the bigs this year

and Willie has a lot of heart. How they are related i am not sure.

So Bloomquist is now a better hitter than Vidro

I find that hard to believe

He has Johjima, too
Vidro is now behind Cairo, Burke and Willie

it’s stupid, but I approve

I know they're trying to cut down on Vidro's AB

but one or two PH’s now and then couldn’t hurt. It’d be nice to actually win a game or two

JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA

JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA

yay!

remove one of the people with HR power for the guy who couldn’t hit a HR in autistic little league

Willie with a strikeout..how surprising...
In Willie's defense those autistic kids don't throw any strikes
Mainly just fits
bunt for a hit you cockwagon!
THIS IS THE WORST MOVE OF ALL TIME

Worse than when LFoJL baked plastic onto a cake

Sit the FUCK down Willie
we just got shut out by the two worst plitchers in baseball
we scored a run of Ponson.
whaaa???

I watched that whole game.

"Oh Mariners, you so funny"

MY EYES ARE BURNING!!!!!
GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH WILLIE ITS THE FUCKING NINTH INNING

AT LEAST GET HTROWN OUT

at least Beltre is still awesome
BOOM BOOM BOOM
Yuni needs to save the Mariners.
God CJ Wilson looks like such a douchebag
well now it's obvious we're losing on purpose
I hope we get a lot of lottery balls.
I take offense to that...

it’s obvious that this team does nothing with a planned purpose.

Wow. This is like watching Bill Plummer manage again.
Last strike of season...
Game over, season over. Go Rays.
Ballgame.

LOL Mariners

CELLAR DWELLERS!!!

YES!!! FIRE EVERYONE!!

Shut out by Texas.

Embarrassing.

Ironically, my mlb.tv month is up today

to renew or not to renew….

You'll renew, you have learned NOTHING!
Awesome...I LOVE them losing like this
ive

forgotten what a major league lineup is supposed to look like, its been so long since ive seen one

I've seen lots, they just wear the other teams uniforms
We play against them every night.
STREAK BUSTERS DON'
T WORK IF YOU DON'T SCORE ANY RUNS
Woo! Last place!
Fuck you
You could also try head butting a window
I literally watched 15 minutes of this game
What did you do the rest of the time

Do tell

Oh shit! bagel!
My bagel is burnt beyond fuckabilty
yeah pretty much all game thread tonight
I don't think they should be called game threads anymore
Chatrooms?

A/S/L everyone!

For a good time press GS52!
Call it being annoyed..sour grapes..gte

I want them to keep losing…it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Blow this team up.

two fucking hits.
WELCOME TO THE CELLAR!!!!!!!

WELCOME TO THE .400 CLUB!!!!

WORST RECORD IN AL!!!

It sucks, but it feels adequate at the same time

It’s like being in the last stages of hypothermia. Body feels warm, then you die.

It must be the cameraman's fault somehow
The worst part is

That we’ll be shopping players this July.

And I guarantee you that we’ll get half of what we gave for Bedard.

I don't think they will trade Bedard.

They will play for 2009

I think they keep Bedard to keep the 2009 window open
The 2009 window is open?
In the front office's eyes yes
The FO is blind.
They think they can ride this team into the playoffs?

Better chance with Eight Belles.

If you stuffed Eight Belles and put wheels on it I'm pretty sure it would work ok
I still prefer the taco bar
My life goal is to ride one in a soap box derby
I might have thought of Beauty and the Beast when I saw Belles
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED
frankly, no
In retrospect, I wish I watched Gladiator instead of this game.
What a sad, sad, baseball team.
No! A rollickin' team

with “SoDo Mojo!”

Hey, they can bring back “Who Let The Dogs Out?” to usher out the fans, postgame!!

So, who's the #1 prospect in the 2009 draft?
Who cares the M's will take Morrow 2.0 instead of him.
We've probably already traded him
I dunno but I'll take Preston Guilmet
The GTE is way cleaner when the team sucks
Apathy...
I wasn't complaining
Fuck babies yeah it is
CUNT AIDS SHIT PISS CHRIST FUCK LICK

there, back to normal?

LICK?
My ears
piss christ!

PISS OUT MY ASS!
if it made sense it wouldn't be legit
August is gonna rule
Padilla is an Ace.
So why do I follow this club?

Everything about it is hopeless.

Playoffs: Forget it
Winning Record: Yeah, right
Fire Bavasi and replace with competent GM: Fuck you, fans
Removal of Lincoln and Armstrong: Never going to happen.

This is worse than 2004.

Actually no

We have Felix this year, in 2004 we didn’t.

This year we know 9/10 Felix starts are going to be wasted.

That’s a cockpunch.

On 5/7/2004

our record was better than it is right now.

Now that's depressing.
One of my best friends is IMing me, complaining about

how his Cubs lost.

I want to make him bite the curb.

Tell him the ChiSox loss was worse

and to kiss your ass.

Two hits...

Niehaus: “That’s all we got, two goddamn hits?”
Rizz: “You can’t say goddamn on the air.”
Niehaus : “Don’t worry, nobody is listening anyway.”

I'd pay money to hear Niehaus during the breaks, serious money

You know that shit is comedy

They used to feed it on MLB.tv.

And it was pretty amusing. Especially when he was calling Gil Meche a pussy.

Oh shit who has the audio of that?

I’ve heard the “walk the world” one, but others?

No kidding

His last almost 40 years have been spent watching the Mariners. The fact he isn’t on about 40 anti-depresants is a minor miracle. I’m sure he is comedy gold off the air.

Just watch Major League?

Bob Uecker was great in that movie. I could imagine him suffering with the Brewers for many years like Niehaus has with the Mariners, but the Brewers don’t suck anymore. Everytime I hear Niehaus say fly away baseball to an opponents HR weakily, I feel its another chip on the shoulder for him, since he’s had to endure many depressing year.

Status

The season is over according to Baker’s plan but we still have a chance to win 2 straight games under Dave’s 5-day plan.

lol

Dave’s plan has more hope than Baker’s.

My plan has less baseball, more beer
My plan is to put myself into a medically induced coma

until NFL preseason.

You know what the best thing about beer is?

You never sit down with a beer and find out that Miguel Cairo is in it.

The season at this point has become more beer....oh, and hey, baseball....fuck, it's the Mariners
I can't bring myself to drink good beer after tonight

Maybe I’ll open a St Bernardus 12 but chug it.

Is it bad that I envy Tacoma for having a more competitive baseball team?
It's bad that you envy Tacoma for anything.
Almond Rocca is about the only thing.
Well... yes
We need to have a drunken LL night at a Rainier's game

Just get all our anger out my heckling and being rowdy

"BRING IN JIMENEZ!

THERE’S NOT ENOUGH GASOLINE ON THIS BALLGAME!”

Imagine those rally jigs going on when EOF gets up in the pen!
EOF: [strikes out batter]

Gomez: YOU JUST GOT POTATOWNED.
Crowd:
Cranky Yankee: SHUT UP

Hey, that Twilight Zone with Burgess Meredith as the librarian is on Sci-Fi right now

In case any M’s fans want to check out a feel-good story.

Oh, wait, it's not the one where he breaks his glasses

Meredith played a librarian twice on Twilight Zone. Trivia.

cursed by his own hubris...
Vidro has back spasms.

Too many hot dogs?

Haha Johnny Mac said Vidro had back spasms today

Back spasms means “nobody wants to pay his option for next season”

Johjima has back spasms, but we have him on the hook for the next three years.

:-/

I'm going to need some help fucking everything.
Nick? You still awake? Nick?
Get your ass in gear, Jeff.

We’re never going to fuck the man unless we get our act together.

why am i being called on to fuck everything
There's a lot of fucking to do.
steer clear of your mother and the dog
Wrong Nick but you'll do
I'm not sure I could've been considered technically awake during most of that game
The M's are doing their fair share.
Post-game Interview

Mentink: “It seemed like your curveball was working. Are you happy with it?”
Bedard: “Yup.”

Mentink: ”....was that a change-up to Milton Bradley?”
Bedard: (nods) “Yup.”

Mentink: ”...did he just get it or…did you…..miss…a little bit?”
Bedard: “Nohegotit.”

Mantank

Speaking of fucking everything

God if I've somehow created a new meme

I will consider this a successful season.

You also created

Be proud. Regardless of the sucktacity of your baseball team.

I don't think you could describe the Mariners any better.
Is that the guy who took an acid bath in Robocop?
I think so.
Here is the whole scene for your viewing pleasure

here

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