Lookout Landing

At least they aren't throwing at Ichiro

People would die

Ichiro would never charge the mound

He’s from Japan.

Mind powers

Doesn’t need to charge the mound

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_JrN3EgJVXg

Japanese Mound Charging (non-porn version)

PS those're Koreans, I'm not a douche

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Aw8iF9Zxaz0

PPS These are Japanese people afraid of a black planet

I want to see Cha Seung Baek do this

Fuck you, David Riske

Ichiro 2 k's

We be doomed.

Laird ate all of Ichiro's ice cream. :(

Against Texas

What the hell? Both Johjima and Ichiro get big contracts and now they suck??

This is terrible

This game still sucks

On further review, yeah the pitch wasn't even close to his head.

However, Richie just shed some of his pansy reputation by actually doing something.

And Felix looks like he wants whip some ass.

It was totally stupid on Richie's part

but I don’t care, I defy you to find anything that energizes a demoralized fan base more than a brawl.

No one important got hurt and I was entertained.

This is all I ask from a baseball game.

except for gabbard

broken nail is not an injury

Guy was making his first start after coming off the DL

for a severe back injury….

I think becasue Gabbard got re injured, Sexson is going to get hung out to dry by the league office.

laxtonto - May 9, 2008 reply

"Important" is the key here.

Winning baseball games.

However, I realize this is the Mariners, so I won’t ask for the impossible.

I'm a realist.

BTW

This image:

Comes from these two images:

I know other people have much better ideas than I do. Please, take these, and go forth and create new memes.
Let me know if you want the full 10MP originals.

I'm pretty sure Willie jokes have become a dead meme

I wish playing Willie was a dead meme

I think that should be the meme that never dies.

really?

Except for this one

what else you got?

Nothing funny.

Nice shot of pre-game Felix:

I also have a player I can’t figure out bent over. Maybe good for a generic Mariner.

All of these were taken by the GF, while I was trying to get a team ball signed.

Is there any site that will host .gif file and not shrink it down to the size of a penny?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vHaLNireXnA

This is the best mound charge ever:

He did that last year with Doug Davis on the mound.

Chris Snyder(who apparently is really good at various martial arts) was right on his ass ready to kill him when he started towards the mound. The look of confusion on his face when Batista turned to 1st was one of the funniest moments of the season.

When was that?

That was Kenji coming up to the plate laughing, right?

By the way it would appear that Felix really likes them brawls

This could be a problem.

Dont forget,,,,

The M’s play Texas next week in Texas. I know Padilla starts in one game, and he doesnt care about hit batsmen. Another game i think is TBD, which means Texas could bring up Nippert and his 97mph fastball as a spot start,

Im more concerned with retalation than anything. A broken hand for Ichiro or Beltre would absolutely bury the rest of this season.

And on a side note, why would have Gabbard thrown at Sexson when he could have thrown at 2 better players earlier that inning?

laxtonto - May 9, 2008 reply

Looked like he really wanted

To let some frustration out. But that was really unlike Richie, who has a rep for getting along with everyone.

Ed Coffin - May 8, 2008 reply

Felix flipped out last year in Oakland, too

I like his passion but I’m also terrified of his passion.

You sound like my ex girlfriend.

Yeah, that actually has me a bit worried

If he ever gets into one he’ll be the first one throwing punches and welcoming all challengers.

So

how does it feel like to have the worst team in the league with a sorry GM and coach? oh, and a team filled with cowards?

Longhorn - May 8, 2008 reply

you are awesome

how does it feel to live in Texas?

Been there….. Very dry

something about steers and queers

and beers

like longhorn's mom

Pretty great actually.

Thanks for asking.

of course

a losing city with losing teams, i’m sure you are use to it by now…have fun losers.

Longhorn - May 8, 2008 reply

Yeah I wish we had Tony Romo

holding for a game winning extra point for the other team, that is

gold medal for most uses of lose in a sentence

I learned something new today

If you are from Texas, the more you use “lose” and “pussy” in a sentence, the more convincing your arguments become.

if you're retarded

im from Texas

this clown is a shit representative of us

fair enough

Yeah, it's pretty nice.

People think it rains a lot here, but it’s really quite temperate.

Spent a week there

ended up with a rash like what was shown in the other game thread

That would be the Fremont Herpes

Might want to have a doctor look at that.

did

no cure :(

It's about suppression.

See thats what I thought

But I couldn’t stop the outbreak when you mom did that thing to me. You know that thing she does with her hands? Well I’m sure it happened to you once or twice or 10x. But whatever I’ll deal.

You should get her to do the thing with her mouth

it’s much more effective.

Don't like blow jobs

Dick is to big. Gets rubbed raw and girls don’t like the taste of blood in their mouths

I will

fag

We usually think "God, at least our QB can win a playoff game"

We'll see you Thanksgiving

Cowboys suck.

Go easy on him.

I’m sure he is just now learning to read, and doesn’t know any better.

1/16/07.

The Tuesday aftet the Seahawks lost to the bears?

My bad. I meant

1/6/07.

I have the newspaper from the morning after hanging in my room :)

I love reminding one of the teachers

at my school about that game. :)

[goddamnit_coach.jpg]

Adam is not going to be pleased.

Are Ranger fans talking shit?

Really? Ranger fans?

I could see Angel fans. Because yeah know, they actually have SOME bragging rights.

But Ranger fans? Really?

I hear they might win a playoff series someday.

You suck.

Bring back TexGoesYard.

ThundaPC - May 8, 2008 reply

I like it better than living in Dallas

Who the hell is this pitching?

edddgar - May 8, 2008 reply

The man who broke the Hyphen barrier!

Bring back the real entertainment

no beaning laird :(

Lard: A full ice cream tub today, fatties.

Sit down fuckwad

Alright I'm done watching this

very well played sir

I can only rec a post once

this disappoints me

You can rec and unrec over and over again.

Yeah, other than that, I got nothing.

I love it - Richie's got a shot at making Top 10 lists for SOMETHING

Almost up there with the Izzy superkick

bigger?

The master is plenty big.

That’s the best photobucket will give me.

Put it on waffleimages.com and post the link.

richie used the truck stick

Richie for third string OLB!

He would dive and miss tackles constantly

at least Richie's suspension means more Cairo

win

FREE MARSHALL HUBBARD

GOD!

8 shots of gin down

and well my wedding invitation still aren’t done….. fail

Oh my god...

Loafie remembers how to pull the ball.

Pity nobody else can hit.

:(

I already screenshotted it Jeff

and it was glorious

It's coming back

I just put it in the wrong place.

Ah good

am I missing something here?

Que?

People are responding to Jeff comment I can't see.

put it in the TOS

It got posted on LSB

And yes, all but about 4 people there ARE oxygen thieves.

i forgot we were being shut out for a minute.

Sims meant to say the "heart" of the "order"

http://www.rotoworld.com/content/playerpages/player_main.aspx?sport=MLB&id=2515

Rotoworld

Felix Hernandez had hit two batters, so Sexson sensed it was retaliatory when Gabbard buzzed him in the fourth, even if the pitch wasn’t all that close to hitting him.

so, sexson was objectively being a dumbass

I think we're all in agreement that what Richie did was stupid.

But it’s understandable.

Stupid != not awesome

Let's quote Jeff real quick.

pretty much every single one of you, save for Ed Coffin and like four other people, are complete idiots, and you do Adam a disservice by posting your retarded bullshit on what would otherwise be a terrific website. Do the world a favor and stop typing. Let Adam take some pleasure in his work. He deserves it.

El Jefe will handle his posts

I just remembered Jefe means boss

which is a sweet coincidence

Coincidence

I THINK NOT

What is your signature an anagram of?

texas rangers

nothing fancy

Correct

but dumbassery and awesomeness are not mutually exclusive.

My entire life is proof of this.

http://www.lonestarball.com/2008/5/8/482839/5-8-08-game-day-thread-2#5766082

heh

OMG HELMOCAUST

OK . . .

I’m not watching the game – just saw the replay on gameday. From the description, I didn’t realize that Sexson was that close when he threw the helmet and hit Gabbard so squarely. That could draw an unprecedented suspension, maybe 20-50 games. I’ve never seen anything like that in the majors.

by Randy Richardson on May 8, 2008 10:54 PM CDT reply reply

Yes I'm sure a helmet has never been thrown before in an MLB brawl.

Mike Sweeney and Jeff Weaver say hi

I like the...

“Sexson apologist” part the best.

Irony lol.

Yeah that was my favorite part too

just making sure

i’m watching the m’s feed and they refuse to acknowledge this much. sanity prevails.

Sure, but I think hometown announcers are semi-obliged to take a side when a brawl breaks out.

M's feed has an ex-M

ex-M will not be objective under these circumstances. And the other guy’s spineless so he’ll have to go along with it.

OH SHIT I FORGOT THE OFFICE WAS ON GODDMMMIT

Attention LSB, since I know you're reading this:

Pretty much every single one of you, save for Ed Coffin and like four other people, are complete idiots, and you do Adam a disservice by posting your retarded bullshit on what is otherwise a terrific website. Do the world a favor and stop typing. Adam deserves a competent, readable community. A community of which you can’t be a part.

*Part of.

Serious?

You mean you meant it to end like that?

It doesn’t sound correct when I read it.

This explains 100% of your comments.

"A community of which you can't be a part of"

just sounds better to me.

Good golly

That's because you are not smart.

How does that not sound right?

People always say that and by “People”, I mean like 98% of the world’s populaition.

People are stupid

I am right

At least they use "."s at the ends of sentences!

You're not winning this battle because you are a moron

Please just put a period at the end of your sentences.

Please just shut up when you are wrong.

I don't understand that of which you speak

*Speak of.

rec'd

You are wrong.

Stop yourself.

98% of the world's population do not speak english

Because you used the preposition twice in the sentence for no reason.

It would be wise to not learn grammar rules by listening to spoken English.

I'll loan you this, Coach:

This is amazing.

Because evidently you didn't take 6th grade grammar

Need's mo're apostrophe's

You can't end a sentence that way Junior.

Ever heard of not ending a sentence with a preposition?

Up with this I will not put. ;)

You know, this doesn't apply exclusively to LSB.....

Case in point:

Adam has called them off LL though so things should be cool now

I feel like I ought to buy Adam about a hundred beers

Buy one of those drinking helmets too, and when you bring the beer, run up and throw the helmet at him

That would be an awesome greeting

Speaking of beer, I am so stoked

The local stores get the summer beers it about now, and Winco here brings in a belgian selection for the season – cheap Hoegaarden while supplies last!

I bought an El Jeffe (or some approximation of that name) for later.

First summer beer of 2008 for me. Never had it before, so hopefully it’s good.

I bought some Hoegaarden last night.

Whole Foods - at least the one near my apartment - really, really likes Belgian beer.

Whole Foods generally has a good selection of Belgian beer.

Which makes sense, because it’s the most pretentious kind of beer.

I say this as a fan of both Whole Foods and Belgian beer.

I'm becoming a fan of both.

Good combo, I guess.

I would like Whole Foods

if I made 3x as much money as I do now

Yeah, it can be pretty pricey.

I just read a book that made me quite scared of a lot of the food out there, so I’m kinda trying to spend a little more on better stuff. I figure I can cut it out of somewhere else (like my ridiculous video game budget, perhaps?)

I'm lucky enough to live within walking distance of Pike Market

so I get my produce and protein from there at 1/2 the cost of Whole Foods. And for grains and such, I see no benefit in going the “organic” route and just grab cheap stuffs at TJ’s.

Oh hell yeah.

If I could do Pike Place I’d be all over it. The food there looks amazing.

Yeah, since I bought a new car it's Trader Joe's for me.

But I do miss Whole Paycheck a lot.

Props to him for working on that blog.

I hope he doesn't read the comments

That's the only way I can possibly fathom him justifying the work he puts in there.

It's like a game thread full of AKs with smaller vocabularies.

You know we might have assholes here at LL

but at least we’re don’t post that kind of shit.

Sexson for MVP!

Alaska - May 8, 2008 reply

Good pitch recognition Beltre

Nicely done, Scruffy Lefty

or whoever it was who just posted on LSB

wasn't me

or I don’t think it was me but I have been drinking. You have a link?

In their latest thread, look for the picture of balls.

I'm not linking it, because it contains the picture, but here's the text:

“The Salt Content of this particular scrotum is just absolutely PERFECT, at least ,according to your mother, anyways……...God really knocked Himself out ndowing thick, purple veins to these particular testicles……Their output can only be quantitatively compared with Supernovae, so, get in line, I can fill all yer mouths with CUM…….

Those untrimmed pubes likewise show my lack of respect four you bunch of sister molesting, Sheep Raping…….......wait…….................................WAIT…….............WAIT FOR IT…….......QUEERS.

Face it, you filthy Niggers, Ain’t a single one of you claimin’ to be a Steer…….....Bitchezzzz!”

Add on that the picture not linked was...

someone licking what is being referenced in the message.

rangers85 - May 8, 2008 reply

In the future I would prefer we not post these things

(I know it’s a quote)

Wow, that is way beyond crossing the line

No, not nicely done.

Sorry for bringing up your name, SL

I saw the picture of balls and didn’t look further.

no problem

but it wasn’t me

Ok, whoever made an account on LSB and made the comment as Rangersfan666

probably needs to be facing a ban here as well.

No kidding.

Jesus Christ.

Ranchy and bigoted.

That’s a SBN-wide ban right there.

Yeah SBN wide ban sounds good.

That was WAY over the line.

I'm looking into who he is at the moment

we want names

and IP addresses!

MAC address ban

MUCH more effective.

Good call

Unless they like posting from libraries or internet cafes. ;)

Jihad the whole place...teach them no library or cafe is safe.

You rang?

And addresses

you sound like radio shack

I don't get it

I'm so hungry I can ride a horse

well, when in Rome...

I don't get Radioshack commercials in NY

or whatever you’re referring to

Family Guy

Chris being Chris

I stopped watching that after season 3

It was an older episode....couldn't tell you when though.

Every customer is supposed to give their name and address

And pay $15 for 6" of phone cord.

The only cheap things they have there are batteries

Those battery's are ridicoulously marked up

Elmstrosity has been banned

How often did he even post here?

Tonight was his first night

Hope he enjoyed it.

He was already walking a thin line

with the comments/pics

Is this the same guy as Rangersfan666?

yep

Good riddance.

Agreed

I won’t miss him.

I miss him already.

you miss everyone

this is how you end up with three strains of AIDS

That doesn't imply missing.

That implies catching.

It's going to be so awesome when I am cured.

So make a fucking memory box

Why did we keep Miguel Cairo again?

I seriously don’t understand it.

In case Sexson starts a brawl and gets tossed, of course.

That, and family emergencies.

Doesn't he have a soul patch?

If so, then that. So we have a player with a soul patch.

lyleleander - May 8, 2008 reply

Sig Hansen is a tiny, tiny man.

Sig Hansen is awesome.

Agreed.

Still tiny.

I'm gonna go bang chicks

try not to get their cute little yellow feathers all sticky

I have no answer for this that wouldn't send me to hell

you think you're not going there already?

Get out of Hell free card?

Your getting married

you're

Is there an echo in here?

I had to post it the same way Robert did.

To be perfectly honest

by banging chicks I mean my fiance’ and by banging I meant cuddling because were celibate until our wedding date :(

Man that's a mistake on your part

You always test drive a car before you buy it

After all, you may be buying a Ferrari, but you don’t want to sign the papers and find out later that it’s got a lot more footroom than you expected.

answer below rally lion

we're

There's a key to hastity belts

chastity

I am aware of this

he had been infected by more than AIDS

Damn you and your tender words

No, those're the key to overcoming non-consent

is that a question?

He's a Mariners fan.

inversely...

i left my girlfriend (and guaranteed ass) tonight for Felix Day.

fuck. i am unsmart.

Your getting married

damn he called my bluff

I feel slightly less cool

why I felt cool in the first place remains to be seen

you're

stop it

Is there an echo in here?

Wrong!

Coach likes getting his snooch pouted on friday nights

Coach would have fun at LSB.

borgy - May 8, 2008 reply

Coach, have you considered becoming a Rangers or Angels fan?

I am going to flag your ass

Marking your territory?

It's a term of endearment

Like tramp-stamp?

There's nothing endearing about tramp stamps.

What if it's a picture of a bullseye?

I am aware of this

Me or Coach?

THE OFFENSE SUCKS DONKEY ASS

When this offense parties it will party hard

as opposed to scoring runs

I'm going to get drunk. Oh, wait...

Just when I thought we couldn't sink any deeper.

Alaska - May 8, 2008 reply

It's a deep ocean

Well that was fun for a bit.

But I’m over it already.

I miss being trolled by LSB.

Reading the game thread is pretty entertaining.

it gives homoeroticism a bad name

They're insinuating that Seattle is behind the technological curve.

See, if you’re going to talk shit about another city, you should make sure the insults have some truth to them.

you're just pissy because you're wet

because it rained on you and Starbucks ran out of soy milk.

And with my flip flops on my socks got wet.

Fuck I can't find my Nirvana CD

I have three copies of each album.

You can BORROW one of mine.

might as well kill yourself

As many of your peers are wont to do

u fergot ur postrphe

u r gay noe

wont is a word

thanks Coach

Also, I am a faggot.

And there’s a train running through my ballpark, because I am stupid.

I miss skoorbo.

So, basically, LSB posters have microcephaly?

It's arguably a worse community than HH

the difference being I can’t figure out how they ended up on LSB. On HH it makes sense because the content sucks. That doesn’t apply to LSB.

I was pretty amazed the first time I read a comment thread over there.

LL is fairly crass, but it’s rarely hateful

We're assholes.

They’re bigots.

That seems to sum it up pretty well.

bigots?

please find a link for that

My thoughts, too...

Reading through the threads, I didn’t see anything all that bad from us Ranger fans. I mean, none of us posted a scrotum over here.

that post also had the n word

and adam was supposed to ban the one guy that kept making racial slurs

Yeah that guy just signed up over here tonight and has been banned

I'm just saying, Jeff...

I enjoy your writing and think you’re really funny… but cruising through these comment threads, we’ve got AIDS jokes and coathanger abortion jokes? And then, you guys call us unsophisticated? Are AIDS jokes and abortions the high-brow humor?

At no point did I call this community high-brow

but LSB is completely unreadable. And it’s not just game threads.

not to belabor a point

but please post a link because you can’t just get away with saying something like that. commenters police the hell out of that place.

are you referring to the fact that we use BP for defensive metrics or something more to do with character?

Here's how this goes:

Either I post, say, five links and you say “that’s only five links,” or I post 100 links after spending the whole night making myself dumber.

I don’t read LSB comment threads very often anymore. I used to, because I like Adam and I like his site, but between the ceaseless stream of +1’s and…just…really, really stupid comments, I stick to the front page. And I’m a happier person because of it.

just wondering what you meant

yeah, if you have a problem with +1’s, LSB is guilty as charged.
But you’re making it sound like we’re a haven for racists and assholes and that’s not true.

And I really would like to see what you consider stupid. I guarantee you for every stupid comment we have, there is someone calling the guy out on it.

There are a ton of posters on there that understand baseball (and post exclusively about that) and don’t have any obvious intellectual deficiencies. Maybe we caught you at a bad time but you’re being kind of an ornery dick about it.

I think I've earned the right to be an ornery dick.

You’ve seen the Mariners, right?

I wasn’t the one who called you guys racists.

Have miles and hurlerhurley been banned yet?

hurlerhurley might as well be

i’ve been beating that drum for a while. and miles is miles – but it’s not like he’s a god over there. he’s ridiculed on a daily basis. you don’t have guys on here that you wish wouldn’t post? but, if that’s what you are talking about, then i get that too.

i’m just looking at the fan posts you guys have going on – most of our recs are about the minors and who to keep/advance. I’m just wondering what kind of content you all have going on here that I’m missing out on.

I'd compare hurlerhurley to Coach but at least good things come out of Coach subthreads

Here’s my point, and I’ll be straight up about it: there are stupid people everywhere. There are stupid people here. There are stupid people at my job. There are stupid people at Harvard. But the ratio of stupid to non-stupid on LSB seems – to me – to be overwhelmingly large. And I don’t understand it, because Adam rocks, and there are a handful of LSB users who rock, and I don’t get when and why they got surrounded by what they did.

ratio

i don’t think you’re right. maybe your ratio is better but ours isn’t that bad. whatever.

"There are stupid people here."

You rang?

you know what

i think i understand enough to let this go. but, at least recognize the good with the bad. most of us aren’t miles and hurlerhurley.

Well...

I think it’s a classless move to call out the community the way you did, and I also think it’s a little classless to ask me if I think the community sucks when I contribute there.

I don't see what class has to do with this.

The LSB community is stupid. The HH community is stupid. The LL community is offensive. The BYB community is non-existent. These are facts.

Well...

you make a post calling the community out, basically (I’m thinking of the “Attention LSB” post), and then ban people that respond to you. It just seems a little … inappropriate, especially considering the gangly freakshow y’all call a first baseman had just injured our pitcher.

You then, further down in this thread, you ask me to admit that, and I forget the exact words you used, the LSB community is douchey or whatever. I don’t know, that just strikes me as wrong.

I mean, looking through this gameday thread, we’ve got post after post after post about how stupid Texans are, la la la. And yet somehow we’re the bigots.

The only people I banned were trolls who came over to call Sexson a pussy

and I don’t think I’ve used the word “douchey” ever in my life.

Eh...

douchey was a paraphrase.

Either way, I read just the front page, here, too. I don’t think it’s necessarily because your community is retarded (or whatever), it’s because I’ve interacted with you online for a while and find your writing funny. But I don’t get your community’s in-jokes, and don’t find them particularly funny.

But I wouldn’t go over to LSB and post that LL is a bunch of douchebags. I’ve linked your posts before, because I think they’re good and worth reading.

Well, see, I'm kind of an asshole

I suppose it’s really just a matter of personal taste, but I feel pretty strongly about this one. I really can’t stand that community. For me, he bad smothers the good.

LL might be just as bad. I don’t know, I’m biased and incapable of seeing what this place looks like to an outsider. But even if this place sucks, I remain convinced that LSB’s comment threads suck, too.

I didn't say this place sucks...

anyway, l8er, h8er.

You do know it's supposed to be h8r right?

with the 8 = ate?

I know you didn't

but I’m sure there are people who would, so consider that a pre-emptive defense.

Yeah...

let me clarify: LL doesn’t suck, only Jeff sucks.

As the Mariners go, so go I

You're taking a lot of hate today, Jeff.

Need a hug or something?

I would post an LOLcat, but I think he'd ban me.

See, the LL community is intelligent

Well, I like LOLcats.

But I know you hate them. So it’s not so much intelligent as subservient.

Subservience is a sign of intelligence.

At least that’s why I tell my insecure mistress.

post happy things!

I can't find one of those glasses and stands for the life of me

I saw on of those on USSM

I didn’t know what to do.

Taking a break from fucking everything I see.

Am I taking a lot of hate? If you’re referring to what they’re saying on LSB, I haven’t read it and don’t plan on reading it.

Yeah they weren't real nice to you.

It’s okay, we still love you as if you were our favorite drunken uncle.

My drunk uncle touched me inappropriately. >:(

You were asking for it.

I can't help it if I'm sexy.

Do you need to talk to a grownup about this?

If he does, he's SOL around these parts.

I wouldn't expect them to be nice

but after the whole hacker incident I’ve realized there are more important things to do than paying attention to people who suck.

This is a good life strategy.

I should do that more.

Still, it's got to bring you down a little bit.

Although I suppose beer is the solution to emotional downers.

Curse my chronically inept liver, I shall never know the sweet, wonderful bliss that is beer.

Start smoking pot.

I play jazz music

Heroin is our drug of choice.

I can't imagine that's good for the liver,

It isn't

but you know, it’s a time honored tradition within the jazz community to kill yourself with a heroin overdose.

This is true.

You could go the Wynton Marsalis route and shame anyone who has a good time, ever, though.

But the Parker route

seems so much more fun…

Doesn't bring me down because I'm not reading it

and besides, I don’t really have much interest in hearing what stupid people think about me. Why would I?

I'm rubbing one out...

as I watch each of your posts pop up on my screen, Jeff.

Thank God I don't have this effect at the workplace

you know ben

this guy is like what 21-22? high opinion of himself, low opinion of others. remind you of anyone?

might as well go back to our own board if you want to pick that scab.

You should meet Graham

I approve of this idea.

Yah...

I know to whom you’re referring, but I like Jeff. The other… not so much.

Fuck the masons

You got that one right...

also the Mormons and homosexuals. That triumvirate has been oppressing my family for far too long.

I think it's high time Adam embrace his inner crazy

When my inner crazy...

starts posting scrotums on LSB, I tell it, “Shut up, you, or I’ll take two pills!”

Shut up, brain, or I’ll poke you with a q-tip.

You see, that's the kind of stuff

that isn’t tolerated here.

And as a member of the LDS church who just so happens to swear like a drunken sailor

Fuck you, kind sir!

I forgot that other people here aren't as familiar with Ben's sense of humor

Sorry.

I get kind of defensive concerning that topic.

Pretty sure that was a joke.

Knee-jerk reaction

My screwup.

You can call me...

mean LDS names, if you want. Like instead of “fuck you, kind sir,” you could say “fuck you, Proddy.”

I wish I had mean LDS names

to call you :(

Isn't not being mean...

...a central tenet of the LDS faith? I’ve never met a member of the LDS church I didn’t like personally, and I’m a Grade-A heathen.

Orson Scott Card's

A grade-A asshole. There are pricks in every faith/organization.

Yeah, but I've never met him.

I liked Ender’s Game until I was old enough to figure out what it was actually about, though. But on the whole, you guys are alright. The people who practice the denomination of Christianity that I was raised with could learn a thing or two from you re: how to treat people that disagree with them.

Aaron Campeau - May 9, 2008 reply

No religion discussion.

Subthread closed.

Cool. Back to heroin?

Aaron Campeau - May 9, 2008 reply

They claim it makes you

ad-lib solos better.

I can see that.

It would explain Hendrix and Cobain, too.

Aaron Campeau - May 9, 2008 reply

That book sucked balls...

I mean, doesn’t Orson Scott Card get tired of Messianic themes? I heard they’re making a movie out of it, and that’s going to suck balls, too. I’ll watch it, the same as I’ve read Ender’s Game 400 times, but I’ll hate every second of it.

benmor78 - May 9, 2008 reply

You can say...

mean anti-Semitic things to me, if you want. My name was Benjamin Morristein before I changed it for my acting career.

I endorse the direction of this subthread

I can't even tell who you're replying to.

Eh we only go as far as

Anne Frank jokes here.

That girl sure is good at dying

She sure is, Jeff.

Aww Jeff we know that deep down you're crying

We’re here for you, buddy. We’re here for you.

I don't think you're here for Jeff

he’s just another everything that you’re fucking

seattlebruin - May 9, 2008 reply

What did Lord Byron say of Percy Shelley in the Summer of 1823?

Near this Spot
are deposited the Remains of one
who possessed Beauty without Vanity,
Strength without Insolence,
Courage without Ferosity,
and all the Virtues of Man without his Vices.
I knocked up his wife,
but don’t worry, I gave her a [COATHANGER]

Is that highbrow enough for you?

somebody clearly missed the ben franklin diary

(it was deleted)

Today was that guys first day...he's not really an LL guy.

ok

well either way, its not like racism or racial slurs are tolerated at all at LSB. gross mischaracterization to say it is.

There was a comment over there

in which a poster was hoping Ichiro would be “hit between his slanty eyes”

I’m not going to go look it up. The comments over there are absolutely disgusting, and this is coming from someone who posts here.

Adam doesn’t deserve the fucktards who post there.

that was one

and i didn’t agree wtih it, and seriously that doesn’t happen alot. and, like i said, one of your guys used the n word.

He wasn't ours.

That wasn't one of our guys.

That was a random troll who had never posted here before tonight. I think it’s important to point that out.

Guys like that kind of ruin it for the human population

Does that mean I can't post a diary about the new Nas album?

Perhaps it has something to do with living in Texas.

I don't think that it does

I've been through there a few times.

And the people seem like they would be pretty predisposed to the Penny-Arcade anonymous douchebag formula.

That's...

open-minded of you.

You know I like you, Ben

but do you disagree that the LSB community sucks?

dude you are way off base

next time you see something, message me or something. I’ve been posting there for a really long time and I doubt we are all that different in terms of what we consider unreadable. I don’t know what you are talking about.

it seems like these boards are about the same. there’s a few guys who say outrageous things and people just laugh it off as a guy being drunk. except on our board, we actually get mad at the guy too

Maybe I've just become too accustomed to our own sorts of threads

but I read an awful lot of baseball websites, and for me, personally, I have the most difficulty trying to wade through HH and LSB. I don’t even do it anymore because it just isn’t worth my time.

Texas is nowhere near as bad as people make it out to be.

Depends, Texas is a big place

There are great swaths of Texas that rival Burma in their shittiness.

I lived in TX for about a year while in the Army – there were plenty of cool places to go with a 2-4 hour drive, but if you were to throw a dart at a map of the state you’re more likely to find a place where black people aren’t welcome after sundown than you are Matthew McConahey’s bongo sweatlodge.

You could say that about a lot of places with fewer redeeming values than Texas.

Adam J. Morris is going to die one day as a result of a 10 minute long sigh

This team is a disaster

speedomike - May 8, 2008 reply

Boy it's going to be awesome to be shut out two nights in a row by Texas.

The last three games have given me AIDS.

Are you sure?

I'm not only sure, I'm HIV positive.

Even though I set it up.

I still laughed.

More?

MegaAIDS!

I gave the other ones to Robert.

oh fuck why didn't that bitch tell me

fuck fuck fuck gotta get tested brb

I get around

Ladies and Gentlement, your 2008 Mariners!

GLUE!

A/S/L?

Plus dog food!

Its a win/win!

Hey, gotta make glue somehow

Not true

Eight Belles at least finished 2nd.

We finished 2nd last year - we just didn't notice the euthanization

Too soon!

It's a horse

Maybe Eddie will puke like he did that one time

I think you mean Player A.

no no, Guardado barfed on the mound in Pittsburgh in 05

Yeah, I meant...

puked on his friend, beat him up, and drove drunk into something… Where the hell is that article?

I love Spiezio

I'd take that back before someone believes you.

Somebody tell Sims

that Brien Taylor’s fight was a street fight and not a brawl in a ballgame.

my only regret is that we scored that one run two days ago

Holy shit, I missed somethign awesome.

Epic awesome.

what if the m's only scored once every 3 games

we might win once every three games

angrybeltre - May 8, 2008 reply

1 in last 31

What

Reverse Hershiser please

anal instead of orel?

Reverse non-sexual Hershiser

you know...pool the runs and save em for when you need em...

angrybeltre - May 8, 2008 reply

2 girls 1 finger

You're getting married!

How does that make a difference?

good point

dude, talk her into 2girls1cup action first.

gotta ease her into your fetishes.

Talk coach into my fetishes

;)

and....

im disturbed.

well done. thats not easy.

Even Howie and Chuck can't keep watching this happen

RIGHT?

They did in 2004 and in 2005 and in 2006 and in the last bit of 2007

Remind me

What happened to Bob Melvin after the vote of confidence Lincoln gave him in May 2004?

he led his team to the playoffs

So that means Bavasi is going to take the Dodgers to the playoffs?

So one would hire Bavasi?

I figure the Dodgers would treat him as a legacy.

Sort of like how W got into Yale.

POLITICS POLITICS OMG OMG

We're not even scoring any runs!

So we're making history!

Right

Clement, Wlad, and Triunfel for Griffey!

What make you think they watch?

It would be hilarious

if this disgrace finally got them to sign Bonds, and then we reeled off 15 wins in a row or something.

No way

Bonds doesn’t have the footspeed to take part in our 3 GIDPs a night. SMALLBALL

We might be in second place after that

It's more hilarious in my reality

where the A’s cut Rich Harden and he signs with us and puts up a cy young rest of 2008.

on and jered weaver retires to go smoke weed in India.

The Weaver Bros. and Ricky WIlliams should open a restaurant.

With San Diego State frat guys as their bus boys

Are there naked supermodels in your kitchen in your reality?

Because there sure are in mine.

One's in the kitchen

another’s in the laundry room. And I think there’s one in the yard.

You can get the chores done three times faster

niiiiiice

You know, honestly, 99% baseball fights are a real cocktease

You get maybe, maybe one punch, then three minutes of synchronized sumo and competitive posturing. I want to see a genuine KO before my time is done in this world.

SIT DOWN DOUCEFUCK

Nice spelling.

like little douce coup

I'd love to be in one of your lectures tomorrow

Semester's over.

Well poop

You can get the Power Point on Sakai, though

Not the same

Powerpoints aren’t hung over.

why is dave sims growling at me thru my computer?

its very disconcerting.

YOU GONNA GET RAPED

BY GRIMACE

Hey, Ronald!

Seeing as I am a Packer fan, and my friend was a Viking fan; the grimace was a gift from God.

Bullpen has been fairly sharp tonight

Look! Swinging strikes!

Wlad doesn't care anymore

krb - May 8, 2008 reply

He's not alone.

I look forward to us signing Jered Weaver to replace Felix in 2011.

Somebody chop Kinsler's head off please

Just got here...flew from Seattle to Florida

and I had hoped to see a W, but god damn, they are fucking shut out again. Even the bloody Marlins have a better record than them. I can’t be more frustrated with this fucking team. Straight to the cellar, hopefully they anticipating on rebuilding soon.

You missed a fun game thread.

Apparently we’re all fags.

I know :(

It’s not the same just checking the boxscore afterwards. I’ll be sure to be on tomorrow, my biological clock is still on Seattle time fortunately, so I won’t have a problem being on late.

I suggest you don't read any quotes made by Armstrong today

at least while breakable objects are within reach.

Mark Lowe's fastball is touching 96

thats not the only thing its touching ;)

8=====>

you just had to, didn't you

It's a rocketship!

Really?

I just thought it was an 8 and an arrow.

Slica - May 8, 2008 reply

scissors?

My dad always says you have to be careful with siccors

Can we score a run today?

Just for shits and giggles, let’s say we score a run!

No, shutout twice in a row has a higher hilarity factor.

Yes

but it also raises the unbelievably pathetic factor.

Are you through fucking everything now?

Everything but Richie.

He’s spared.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE LOSING FINISH FINISH

at least he has AIDS now

Hey are you helping today?

I don’t think so.

I wasn't asked to help

8==[

I would say that is a yes

It's a mandrill!

Win

Bhamster - May 8, 2008 reply

Are penises supposed to do that?

HARRYP09 - May 9, 2008 reply

We'll score 4 and then strikeout 3 times to end the inning

So much for that theory

Yes, Safeco, this calls for Rihanna

S.O.S.

Please someone out there, it’s not healthy for us to hit this way

We better not score.

Unless it's six.

So yeah, we better not score.

I'm glad I turned on the TV and watched the rest of this [COATHANGER]

I think you mean

[terminated pregnancy]

I think you mean Thompson.

If you didn't live the meme, you shouldn't use it.

Hey the wiki exists for a reason.

That meme's being abyoozed.

This is a partial birth [coathanger]

Where it's fightin' to get out,

but then you kill it?

shutout! shutout! shutout!

I know there's 2 outs in the 9th, down by 5...

But why is Cairo still hitting?

Who else is gonna hit? Batista?

I'd actually like to see that.

and he gets a "hit" anyway

I would have just surrendered.

Because our WE is 0%

Cairo with the final out

How appropriate.

Jeff....What kind of recap you going for tonight?

Hopefully something about erections

Thats something your fiancee wont be recapping any time soon

Haven't decided

I heard that there're some great nutsack pictures on the internet

You've had 3 hours to decide

You know, there's probably enough room over at DRays Bay that we could all just move in.

That would shock the living shit out of them

I like this idea

off-day project!

Why wait for an off day?

Half the fun (70 percent) would be missing a Mariners’ game.

I agree with this statement.

Higher participation if we did it on an off day

Should our jpegs be more/less pervy?

Put up a thread for the M's game and close the comments

I've thought about doing that

but now you just ruined it.

no one reads the game threads

you’re still good

delete my comment then, some super spy stuff

screenshotted.

How many people have mlbtv?

I'm for it!

we'll show them

lets start raysbay.com

I've been meaning to ask about that

whos making the diary

How long until we play them?

Not until August

screw waiting

it’s more fun if we just ignore the Ms completely.

I don't know if I'm contractually permitted to do that

agreed

we can always revisit it in August and root against the M’s. That’ll be a blast too.

Okay, so, I know it's early, but what about next Monday?

The Mariners are off and the Rays are in Oakland. And since it’s a 7:05 start we can even work in our usual House memes.

This works for me.

Open House Thread?

monday after mother's day?

or monday after that?

This coming Monday

the 19th

...

this coming monday is the 12th.

I was thrown off

apparently we play Texas against next Monday.

So what I meant was Monday the 19th.

I CANT WAIT THAT LONG

damn soccer!

What the hell is your soccer schedule?

I need to be accommodating with planning this since I expect only a handful of us would participate.

False.

A big handful

There ya go..but most of the regulars...which is all we really care about, right?

give skoorbo a ring

non-regulars suck diddly uck

monday nights >:(

I was unamused with the moving of House to Mondays.

and I have offdays the 12th and the 26th, but not the 19th.

Okay maybe we'll just do this on a weekend when the M's play late

thursdays would work

but the next Ms off day has the rays playing at 4 pac time

God dammit we'll figure this out another day

then again, maybe a weekend would be best

so Graham can participate.

I hope the M's don't crawl back into contention and take the wind out of this

Yeah, better take a hedge bet against that...

If the M's blow is it ok if I care more about my fantasy team?

ColeFitz - May 8, 2008 reply

Yes.

Just not here.

Deal

ColeFitz - May 8, 2008 reply

Rays have a 10.00 start Saturday the 17th

M’s have a night game

Excellent possibility

Godammit that's the Cards game.

Good: Joel, Franklin might pitch
Bad: I can’t in good conscience all out as a Rays homer unless Joel is pitching.

I'm sure we'll work something out

):<

Question for those of you using MLB.TV

Is it worth shelling out the extra cash for the premium package versus the regular 400K stream?

I always watch on 800K but that's because I take a lot of screengrabs

I think 400K should be fine for simple viewing if you’re looking to save money.

I'm debating whether or not

I want to take full advantage of my 15/5 Verizon FIOS internet connection.

god yes

400K isn’t watchable at full screen

at least it's a game I'll be watching anyway

I’ll get working on new Bonds’ photoshops.

Don't they already have a Bonds/Rays photoshop?

not with an american flag they don't

plus, if they are near identical to our photoshops it increases the funny factor

this coming monday is the 12th

Just don't do the Rays-Cardinals game

Also

Jeff Sullivan - May 9, 2008 reply

Well played, sir.

Rec’d.

sweet sweet lifeblood

Jeff Sullivan - May 9, 2008 reply

JI - May 9, 2008 reply

If Graham is House than I am a austistic version of Kumar

And last one for the evening.

WHERES NEOPLASTIC SYNDROME!?!

Matthew - May 9, 2008 reply

Jeff Sullivan - May 9, 2008 reply

I love House memes.

JI - May 9, 2008 reply

That was a great episode.

oh my good too good

JI - May 9, 2008 reply

OH MY GOD CAIRO HIT!

LAtino Grit

Yeah, whatever, Cairo

hahaha Kinsler is a shitbag

Cairo gets a hit?

you don't get irony do you?

NON IRONIC USE NOT PERMITTED!!!!!1!!!1

Um, getting a useless hit is ironic.

You have to specify.

Not every Cairo hit is a useless hit, but they are all unexpected, useless or not.

Now that's true.

All 1 of them

I think they'res been two....

Why is he still on the team?

Because his middle name is Jesus

He is obviously our savior

Because they need a person to back up Sexson when he takes personal days or gets booted.

Eh, I just looked it up and he had a .000 avg heading into today

Whatever, M’s still lose

hahaha kinsler

DONT' CALL IT A COMEBACK

No danger of that.

No, it's a [COATHANGER]

OK IT WAS NOT A COMEBACK

Haha shut out twice by the Rangers.

We suck.

A lot.

This is gonna’ be a really long summer.

I'll pay attention once draft day arrives

‘till then fuck it

Once I give up hope, I don't really care if they win or lose.

Bad baseball is still better than no baseball

yeah

this still beats the hell out of february

I'm not sure my GPA can handle watching more Mariners

Oh that was quick

8 games under .500

Awesome!

Going downnnnnnnnnnn......

ThundaPC - May 8, 2008 reply

needs more ode

How's that?

successful ode

Finally.

Time for bed, at 1:15.

I was hoping for another fight.

Can someone give me the run down on the fight?

I just got online here, I don’t know what happened outside the boxscore?

Watch the replay on the official website

Holy shit that was amazing.

I would’ve wanted to be at the game just to witness that in person. Its too bad Sexson can’t show that toughness hitting the ball. I give Sexson props, that was badass throwing his helmet at the pitcher.

that does it

23 innings without a run.
1 in our last 32.

im going to go kill a hooker.
and a hobo.

.............and a real person too.

Hookers and hobos are real people.

Go kill the head of a mrketing firm.

Or a lawyer?

Corporate lawyer, ambulance chaser, yes.

Badass Morris Dees type lawyer, no.

That didn't work out so well for Jeff.

Thin line

you’re on it

Bhamster - May 8, 2008 reply

Wow, that pitch really wasn't anywhere close, was it.

Oh well.

Again, Milton Bradley wins awesome points with me today.

He’s spared from the fucking as well.

if only he weren't on the D/L still... >:(

Every hope I had for this season has been absolutely crushed

There is no coming back from this devastating series.

Holy shit

Ichiro actually got involved in that brawl.

Surely he did it for himself

Selfish bastard.

ICHIRO HURTS THE TEAM

BY GETTING INTO BRAWLS

pics or it didnt happen

Did he slide?

After reading through some

of the LSB comments, I have come to the conclusion that the commenters there somehow possess less intelligence than those on HH. This is not a good thing.

Also, I just finished watching the gameday replay. Richie is fucking awesome, and he gets a 2 month free-of-shit card.