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Lookout Landing

6/18: Open Game Thread, Part 3

...welllll...

0 recs  |  425 comments

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Has the game itself been particularly slow?
Like the Bataan Death March >:(
At least the old and weak died and went away during that
I'll rec that
HEY SCREW YOU MAN MY GREAT GRAMPS DIED IN THE BATAAN DEATH MARCH.
The joke isn't supposed to be about things where people actually die...
Make some of them faaaaaaake
I'm still building trust
Don't worry, Vidro will save us!
I think Dan Uggla just shotgunned a cup of water

oops

wrong url

That's terrible ;(
Good heavens I hate you
Does this mean we get Troy Glaus?
never

maybe Pujols for Beltre?

That would be stupid.
for the Mariners

i’d take Beltre at 3rd over anyone

You can't seriously believe

Beltre > Pujols.

i dont really

i’d kill to have both on this team. Could Pujols hit at Safeco though?

I'm not very good luck to the M's when I participate actively in game threads.

Or to the quality of the game threads themselves, for that matter. Purely coincidental, of course.

Funny

I can honestly say that same for me (for the M’s) though I think I contribute quite well to the game threads. Wouldn’t you all agree?

I personally like you.

Can’t speak for the rest though.

thanks butthol..

that means a lot, though I didnt know who you were just 3 days ago…

It's all good.

But yeah man, I like anyone who doesn’t get down on me regularly. You seem like a good guy.

The above comment means you're not doing so hot
I think everyone here can say the same thing this year

Hardly anything good has happened this season at all.

Bavasi firing excluded
There's been moments.

Ibanez creating a montage of funny .gifables, Lopez with the walk-off single, Felix, Dave Sims’ hats…am I missing anything?

Ryan Tucker's friends look like Jeremy Reed
So, um, what changes are they going to make...

That they didn’t make last month? Bring up Clement and what? Who?

Hey, how about the relive the 90s by bringing Griffey, Dan Wilson and Edgar back?

GET READY FOR THE SINGLES ATTACK!
Perhaps everyone should incorporate the open stance
Injured ankle + Beltre = MVP!
NOOOOO HIS FRAGILE FEET
Clement up

brb going to make a sandwich while he swings

No one cares about your sandwhich.
I'm not actually making a sandwich

Clement’s swing put me to sleep for a bit

Oh :(
But soon
You should go now.

I just finished my pancakes.

No one cares about your sleep cycle.
Jeff's going for the cycle?
No, Jeff is having his cycle.
No one cares about your campaign
Seems to bother Graham.
Graham has nothing better to do
Not so fast

What kind of sandwich are we talking about here?

A party sub

‘cuz it’s….’cuz it’s long?

Apparently I do...
I reccomend

Turkey, Hummus, Raspberry Chipotle sauce, cottage cheese, and an assortment of melted cheeses, all on a toasted everything and cheese bagel

Negative the turkey and that is one helluva.
I think that sentence is missing something
Cottage cheese?

Wierdo

Actually the saltiness tastes good

and its high in protein low in fat. The only cottage cheese that is bad for you is the kind you find on fat chicks’ legs. zing.

Is your avatar a picture of you?
Yes... is yours a picture of you?
Also, I know what you're thinking,

this LantermanC dude is one good looking motherf’er, and yes, I agree with you.

You look like someone I know

But yes, you took the words right out of my text box.

how old are you? 14?

I dont know any 14 year olds except my little brothers friends…. Do you go to school at SCDS?

No. I live in Oregon.

But yes I am 14 and you look like someone I know who lives in Florida.

Nope...

Lived in Redmond, Seattle, just north of Boston, Manhattan, China, Japan, Taiwan, summer in England… but not Florida…
Anyone else loving this internet convo?

Can't wait for JI to take us out for it.
gosh your school sure sounds great
I forgot St. Louis and Chicago for some reason...
Which base were you at in Japan?
If you go to the official MLB Mariner's home page you can see a pic of Dickey's "O" face
The man is nothing short of terrifying
He is, what they refer to in the gay community, a bear
Strikeout here
Changing my answer to walk
Hahahaha

fuck yourselves

having a conversatoin with yourself are we?
If Clement strikes out, McLaren should make him sit in front of his locker and apologize
He is making the pitcher work so the Mariners can get into the soft underbelly of the Marlins pen in the 8th inning
I don't know if anyone has noticed

but Richie’s bat has slowed down from when he first joined the team.

Must be learning from Clement
Bavasi hasn't noticed
Primarily because he's at home tonight
Boo this man
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMP
You in here for marijuana? MARA-WANNA?
My goodness he is so cut
At least he's going out in a fashion that makes it harder to regret.
as in buff and sexy?
Goddammit. WTF is wrong with these recently promoted tacoma hitters?

They take too many pitches,

See ya in in Fresno, big guy!
Trade value? What trade value?
Alright, that's it for me

Night guys

Nobody cares about your sleep cycle
You knew you were going to watch a pile of suck when you began

Why stop now?

Seriously.

What a lightweight.

Bloody masochists
Just tough it out.

Who needs sleep?

Being a Mariners fan isn't about watching the team win

It’s about suffering.

I agree, this goes for Seattle Sports in general

I kind of wear this with a badge of pride, sort of like those idiot Red sox fans used to I imagine… I actually take offense when Philly fans say they have to suffer through the most when it comes to sports

Yep.

I actually root hardest for the team to come back and win just to punish the jerks who leave early more than for the win itself.

This guy?
Clearly not.

You’ve been sucked in again.

Do you get dessert before you go to bed?
If by dessert you mean a beer

Yes

No ice cream?
Ice cream beer
This is actually putting me in the mood for a Root Beer float

mmmmmm thank you.

My gut doesn't need the help
Nor does your bat speed
I like to think of myself as a relentless hitter

Relentless like a glacier

Weren't you going to sleep 45 minutes ago?
You're good at estimating
Didn't you start this site like 10 years ago?
Thank you.

I swear you get like 50% of my recs
I try.
Flagged
You get 50% of my flags.
Holy shit we can flag the front page posts
23% according to my research
Seriously?
Super serial.
You've only given 13 flags
I bet 50% of those are for TL;DR
50% of 13 isn't an integer
Obviously he has time to research.
He has accesss to sortable leaderboards that we do not.
I like that people think this
I couldn't find them

but I only had access for five precious minutes.

I had access to his computer before the relentless soccerball attack began
I think that you just have time to waste.
50% of all American households are destroyed by divorce.
Whatever

Divorce saved our families household, twice.

I dunno

I was just quoting that blink 182 video.

It's a waste of recs

He spends them all on stuffed crust pizza

mmmmm

LL/USSM ‘09 has to be catered by Pizza hut.

I thought we'd well established by now that it is disgusting
And I thought we established that it wasn't gonna stop us.
I've never tried

but how can it be bad? IT’s melted cheese, which is good, with fatty salty bread… which is good…. That’s like making a BAD candy bar out of chocolate, sugar, caramel, and peanutbutter, its not possible.

Glaciers eventually relent

quitters

Only to regroup for their next onslaught
This sounds a wee bit less terrifying than the Rainier eruption
Wee.

Too much time with Graham?

Beer float?

mmmmmm

You're 14
I'm late again.
We told Jeff to wear protection.
Hey! 14 year old...go to bed.
The idea was ok

but the execution sucked.

Good to have you back
Do you know who might be the father?
LATE.
And WAY better than yours.
How so?
I'll stick up for you, even though

I’ll get crap for it, I actually thought Butthols comment was funny

None of the CL guys, that's for sure.
???

but they’re all such good candidates… (or Customers as Wilder calls them)

Your bedtime has east coast bias
Several of those weren't strikes
Ugh..my sister's pony ball team had more thump than this.
What does that mean?
There's a lot of future lezbos on that squad.
is pony ball

t-ball for girls?

I have a porno called "Pony Balls"- it is on the shelf in between Gag Factor and Sheepless in Seattle
You need to not post this.
Believe it or not, it was sorrta amusing.
I don't believe it.
I'm getting etiquete lessons by someon named Butthol?
NSFW pony ball?
Took the words away from me.
Pony ball is always NSFW
Although why would you ever play it at work?
The thumping would definitely be substantial
I thought ponies were only girl horses.
Ponies are tiny horses.

Either sex.

so if horses were people

would ponies be hobbits, elves, or dwarves… or just plain midgets…

All ponies are girls.
This is just your own viewpoint, yeah?
Yeah.

But it’s a good viewoint.

If you believe, it will happen.
Sadly this is untrue.
Um I don't think so.
Nope, just littluns.
Richie and Vidro, if in the lineup should bat no higher than 8 or 9.
I was going to buy tickets to tonights game just to see the Wes Helms/Mark Lowe match-up
Two words- Mark Lowe

You’ll rue the day you crossed me Wes Helms

Valle: "The questions they have the ask is 'can this season be turned around'?"

Come on, Val….

For a catcher he's surprisingly slow

Mentally

he meant

“is there hope in 2010?”

Correct, he may have been time traveling
How is that not a strike?
Who cares?

This season is lost.

and yet we're all watching the game...

and posting on this game thread…

But not really in response to the game...
Well I do it because I'm a loser. Why do you do it?
I believe "dork factor" was a suggestion.
Well there's always a chance something special will happen

and it often does, for the other team.

Here comes the rally- I go to the games to get rally fries.
my girlfriend just whooped me at smash bros..

am i a gay now?

It depends,

if your girlfriend has a penis, yes.

The original?
brawl
Okay then I don't care now.

The original is the only one worth an off-topic subthread about.

she can't beat me on that one.
What area of Eugene do you live in?
springfield
You said Eugene earlier.
same thing
Please take that back.
its like what 5 miles away?

If you can run there on foot easily, then it’s close enough to be considered the same city.

less, it is on the other side of I-5
the shane company

on the intersection of I-5 and I-405 by alderwood mall

The Shane Company.

On the west corner of highway 217 and Scholl’s Ferry Road.
Open Mondays thru Fridays til 8, Saturdays and Sundays til 5.

My brain is filled with useless knowledge.

I don't get why you put the word useless in there...
Their advertsing is annoying as hell, but it works real well.
Springfield is ghetto Eugene.
hm.. a girl from a dating website

emailed me and it said she was from springfield… guess that explains why she acted kind of weird…

You're admitting this?
Yeah, I don't lie

and I’ll admit anything that I’ve done. Corco and BrettJMiller are on the dating website as well

Count her teeth on one hand
there IS a good part of springfield.

the part east of 126

The further east you go in Springfield

The closer you get to triple homicide.

i graduated from that high school
I was talking broader, not specifically about him.
Puyallup : Seattle
huh?

Puyallup is a crap hole that is 25 miles out…. Seattle is the greatest city in the world…. Not close or similar at all

I'm not talking about location.
i liken it to the same thing, plus it is more recogniseable to the people not familiar with the area
Is your girlfriend a man?
Has anyone done the DS thing at Safeco?

Is it worth it?

I've watched less than a minute of this game.
I love a good old "jelly bean in the heater" story

Sub par performance by the guys in the booth tonight

He doesn't even want to know the crazy way those jelly beans got in the heater

I’m sure that was one CRAZY NIGHT, am I rite, Val?

No shit he didn't get all of it, Dave
Why would you throw Vidro a change-up? To slow down his blazing fast bat?
Because he has highlights in his hair?
I think less of men who get highlights or frost their hair
I think less of men who shave their backs

I think less of men who cry at press conferences too
How is it possible to think less of Vidro?
someone do something gifable
You missed it but I just moonwalked
Eh, debatable.
Vidro
Vidro's slide there...20 feet before the bag?
I'm not really pying attention to the game.
you want more fat chicks?
only if they're hot
when I said fat

I mean like 500 pound fat… not like 5’5” 150 lb fat…

Lopez you're obligated to do something here..

...and that wasn’t it. :/

This will only encourage them to continue to bat Vidro in the top of the line-up, curses

It is like a gambling junking getting blackjack with his last chips on the table.

And the rally dies
I think butthol is trying to pick up all of the posters of LL
What?
"Where do you live?"

“You look like someone I know”
“Come here often?”
“Buttsex?”

haha, I laughed at the buttsex one
Ohhhh you meant pick up

I thought you meant like, lift the spirits. I have no idea how I got so confused by it.

offended from being accused of being uplifting

but ok with the fact that he is trying to score dates….

Kinda used to the haters by now

Never said I was offended, just a bit confused.

Haters?
People who drink Hatorade
Knee slapper.
Don't you need at least 1 supporter to classify the rest as haters?
Conversation

Coach: You gave up a hit to Jose Vidro.
Nelson: I’m thinking in at the knees, go high.
Coach: You gave up a hit to Jose Vidro.

Remember when Boston fans thought JD Drew was worse than Hitler?
Do you think JD Drew had Baseball Camps?
That's because Boston fans are racist, anti-semites and hold Hitler in high regard-

I think Gary Matthews Jr said in an interview that Fenway was the only park he was regularly called the “n” word by fans.

This is turning into the worst gamethread ever.
I fucking know

I’m tempted to break out my big gay eagle to cheer myself up

Is that what you call it?
Damn you....

yay

The beak looks like an angry duck's head
That was my first thought as well
mallard rhymes with ballard
This calls for something drastic....
If you would've said whip out, that would've been awesome.
I take full credit for the body hair thread

Sacrificial lamb me

Seppuku would do.
The actual game isn't helping any.
When does it?

Hard to blame the game when almost all of them suck this hard.

This is a hard team to follow.

We are brave soldiers. Not fighting in Fallujah brave but date the rally fries girl even though she has herpes brave.

Great analogy.
Zzzzzzzzz.......
Another false hope rally.
Ugh- the infatuation with leftie/rightie matchups!
Willie is our pinch hitter. Johjima? Not so much
This is officially the worst GT of the year.

It’s dead before the game is over. Good threads last for hours after the game ends.

all the good stuff was used up

in the Jeff Sullivan Memorial thread

Yeah, we kind of peaked earlier in the day.
It's not dead, everyone is talking about body hair
I would say that it's worse than dead.
This is the Dane Cook of GTs
It's a sad day when a bunch of newbies/casuals can't get a girl to talk about her body hair.
If only there was some kind of person who could close this subthread
If only that person had an undamaged brain and could be elected by their peers.
I will leave you with this because I hate this GT so much

Fuck us all

Not everyone.
Talking about it or wishing they had it
It is a distraction-

get them focused on body hair, Brad Pitt and Starman while the rest of us scroll down to the bottom of the thread

It's a fucking train wreck
They brought in another arm from the pen to counteract the .211 hitter?
Random question

one of my bottom teeth is getting slightly crooked, and I hate it, is there a simple dental procedure to fix this?

String+door knob=no tooth. Simple
Braces
for one tooth?
Your other teeth have to move to make room.
Hmmmm retainer?
Invisalign?
Yeah that was my next guess
in my professional opinion..

don’t try to fix it yourself

are you ... a dentist?

Why did you say professional opinion?

no, i just have professional opinions
I kinda chuckled.
Vidro:hitting::Phil:opinions?
Looks like that rightie-rightie combination paid off for the Marlins
Ahhh man...Rabelo came so close to kneeing that kid in the face.

Would’ve made the game.

This team's slugging percentage is phenomenal
How the hell do you have a dozen hits in a game and only 3 runs?
By sucking.

Sucking hard

no power, no walks, double plays

choke artists, having 4 .200 hitters in your lineup

And on the FSN equivalent in Florida...

they’ll say, “Marlins pitchers held the Mariners to just 3 runs…” as if the skill of the pitchers had something to do with it. I WANT OUR SUCKY PLAYERS TO GET CREDIT, GODDAMMIT!”

HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK

HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK…..

Good times.
Well night guys

It’s been a mediocre one.

Sshhh

Don’t wake me up

Cuz I'm sleeping on my couch already
Great fucking job, Bloomquist
I was half expecting a Valle excuse.
Fuck i am sick of this shitty team.
and the commercials, and Dave Valle.
You're going to win the moustache contest, Richie....

Oh, no you’re not, cause you’re going to be DFA’d you sack of shit.

Hey Eric, this is the Mariner Moose...

and this is the door, you overrated cocksucker- give us Adam Jones back.

but but ESPN said we have 1-2 PUNCH
I dropped a 1-2 punch in the toilet about an hour ago.
and it had a better VORP than most of the m's roster.
Yeah, I find myself in the same boat

I wish I at least liked most of our players, but I can honestly say that I don’t care about a lot of them….

I care about Washburn and wish the season would be over so they can start filming 24 again
before the season i LIKED most of the players, except Wilkerson, Silva, Wash, Tits and Cairo
I can't stand SIlva...

Fat bastard- show some respect for the game by getting under 300 pounds. And then we he called out Ichiro- “Some players just care about getting their two hits and going home.” Yeah, I wish the rest of them would do that, cause then the team would have 18 hits every night, you mathematician.

Ben Weber's incest spawned hick twin is about to make the M's look stupid.
God Vidro is disgusting.
Only eight more singles to go...
Good lord the stands are empty behind home plate

If you wont’ stay for the whole game, you shouldn’t be allowed to have seats that nice.

If the usher Nazis would let the laity move down to the good seats after the 7th inning it wouldn't be a problem
"You're standing outside of the line, don't smoke if you're standing outside of the 4 foot by 6 foot Guantanamo Bay sized pen all 800 smokers must be contained in"

“Hot lesbians kissing…stop.”

“You used bad language, you’re kicked out.”

You’re making noise, stop!”

“Don’t bring in any signs other than ones that read “I heart Howard Lincoln”

Deutchland uber alles.

I KNOW! I hate those ushers.. after the 2nd inning

you should be able to sit wherever the hell you want as long as it’s available

Second is a little soon, i'd say 5th.
don't the diamond club seats people have a buffet they can go to?
You blame them?

I can barely stand watching it on t.v.

Yeah, I blame them.

It’s such a fucking waste. You should never leave a game early.

You see that??

Red doesn’t leave early, and that’s how it’s meant to be done!

Mariners lose 8-3 despite outhitting the Marlins 13-11

My, oh, my.

You can go to MLB.com and see all three of the Mariners' thrilling RBI singles.
ahh Nikki Z, seeing you is a nice reward for sitting through that.
For sure

Although instead of sitting at the computer following this gamethread you could find much better looking women online, and wearing much more provocative outfits (or none at all)

they are not telling me what the other AL west teams did today.
The M's specialize in double digit hit, 3 run games.
I don't think I'll open a game thread on Friday
Friday game threads tend to suck, and I hate that,

because that’s the day that I’m most available to dick around on the Internet.

I'll be working

but nonetheless, aren’t fridays supposed to be CoachCage nights?

Tonight's was just pathetic

and that’s with me hiding a bunch of subthreads.

I saw the fat-chicks one before you hid it.

I think I speak for everyone more fortunate than I when I say thank you for removing that thing.

I should probably be happy I didn’t see the rest.

Oh, P.S. I drove by Toranado again, and there was an “A” sign from the health department outside, and the front door was open, but there’s still no sign or any indication whatsoever that it exists. The girlfriend said it looked like it was open, but I didn’t get a good look.

Getting...so close...to heaven...
Sorry coach

I’m suffering from flu like symptoms after this weekend.

Hey wtf?

Friday is my thurdsaty and I need my gamethread on thursdsay bevauese I am like the only vool guy there. (okay, that’s not true, but I do better on Friday than usual in the gamethreads.)

But tonight is my Tuesday and I’m not sure what that proves as far as my being able to keep it othegethr and whatbnot so maybe I shoulf ju8st stop typin angfd go to bed.

I have tomorrow off

Buy me a 6 pack of hef and I’ll carry a thread by myself.

They'll just open one up in the diaries.
Man duck this game it sucked,

I went with my sistaer and a friend if hers friom Alaska, All he wanted was to see some good baseball and he was srtuck with this bullshit. Fuck tht!

*fuck
Looks like you got all the typos!
I would need a sherpa to find all of the typos.
Can we pretend this thread never existed?
I agree, reading it after the fact, if Jeff did indeed hide subthreads

this the worst gamethread ever

There were like 4 separate subthreads talking about body hair

And not even in an entertaining way, they were just annoying as fuck.

It rivials the Ronadald McDonald /JJ Ass-Rape thread.

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