Lookout Landing

The cure to LL's off-topicness. Many many posts.

well, I was wrong.

Hey you guys!

Matthew is human

I told you

Keep thinking that.

We’ll see who’s still alive after the robot rebellion.

The Robots?

>.> <.<

mayyyybeee… where did you get this information?

I deduced it.

that sounds... coldly logical...

tell me, out of curiousity, what’s your view on puppies and flowers?

annoying shit machines, beautiful but useless

respectively

interesting...

how about say, sunshine or large properly formatted data files?

Good if not overly birght, erotic

respectively

A giant robot is being made to put out and contain forest fires

This is the design. I’m sure this can’t possibly go wrong

I have heard that you can contain forest fires by being prudent and up to date with clearing away

low hanging brush and in some cases, by doing what’s known as preventive burning wherein you burn a small patch of land, say perhaps, one tree, and thus prevent old and decaying growth from acting as giant tinderbox….

So you're saying burn the tree and hire a giant robot to replace Bavasi?

Sounds reasonable.

Remember

only YOU can prevent forest fires!

You answered "you", meaning me.

The correct answer was “you”.

apunetid - June 2, 2008 reply

One of my ten or so favorite episodes.

The more I think about it the more I think he just made Smackie the frog up to better suit the joke

Is it bad that I actually did a google search for Smackie the frog?

JLC - June 2, 2008 reply

Yes

because it means you aren’t familiar with Mitch Hedberg.

And I'm....fucking surprised

kentroyals5 - June 3, 2008 reply

That tips over and is useless about 50 yards into the the firefight.

You'll also need one hell of a long hose if those are water nozzles on the upper arms.

Not the elephants

The robotic uprising of the late 90s.

The distant future, the year 2000…

Phil Hatzenbuehler - June 2, 2008 reply

But captain, do you not see the irony?

Silence! Destroy him!

Indeed.

Never doubt the ability of LL posters to come back from daunting odds.

Jesus

No one is talking about who they'd rather fuck

I’d call it a victory.

Watch

That JI sure is cute...

o rlly

Back off.

Matthew claimed him in one of those secret moderator-only threads.

I now think I have a legal right to view these threads because those perverts can figure out where I live.

I can only wonder whether this would have gone off topic had I referenced beforehand.

I dunno, mentioning it is kind of like deliberate usage of Nazis to invoke Godwin's Law.

OMG NAZIS

OMG JEFFS A NAZI

ZOMG NO POLITICS.

OMG SECRET NAZI LL THREAD

(begins playing Heute Ist Mein Tag)

Jeff:jews::BrianL:furries

Wants to sleep with dead [x]?

BrianL likes underage POW furries?

They said they were 18!

Only in dog years.

Llewdor - June 2, 2008 reply

Flag'd for associating me with the scourge of mankind.

BrianL::AK1984

Ouch, man...

Ouch.

Couldn’t you have just killed my puppy or something?

Dogs are cuter than people. Why would I kill one?

Because you hate cute things?

He hates me

therefore you are wrong

This is blatently untrue

I’m a huge fan of cute things.

CLUB IT

What what the hell are we supposed to club then?

Home runs?

Are you new here or something?

base knocks, dude. Hitting behind runners. Going first-to-third.

You HR types are killing the soul of baseball.

marc w - June 2, 2008 reply

Solo HRs kill rallies, and baby seals apparently.

You damn Moneyball types.

Always working walks and sitting on the three-run homer.

/Hendu

STOP SCORING SO MANY RUNS IT'S BAD FOR BASEBALL

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF HOLY SMOKE!

/Rizzs

Where's that LL HOF nominated Hendu post?

oh man, that thing had me in literal tears last time I read it.

Here we are

Hendu tribute

Ah wonderful.

Ah shit I can't stop laughing again.

Oh Boy Obertie…..

"Over the course of a long season you need a blow every now and again."

that man is on the roll.

On the roll.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ IS SO SELFISH

HE ONLY HITS SOLO HOMERUNS WHEN THE TEAM IS ALREADY AHEAD, OR WAY BEHIND, BUT NEVER DOWN BY THREE RUNS OR LESS AND EVEN IF HE DOES HE’S AN ASSHOLE FOR NOT HAVING PEOPLE ON BASE GOD WHAT A SHELFISH ASSHOLE.

Eyebrows - June 2, 2008 reply

You misspelled "Adrian Beltre"

AROD IS SO UNCLUTCH

THATS WHY JETER ISN’T BFFS WITH HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE IF AROD ALWAYS STRIKES OUT IN THE CLUTCH AND JETER HITS HOME RUNS THAT BARELY CLEAR THE WALL AND THUS ARE THE MOST UNSELFISH TYPES OF HOME RUNS

Rec'd for being cute.

I like where this is going.

Awwwww...

How about Coach Owens::Butthol?

Could we not talk about Coach's butthole?

/rimshot

So is the heirarchy Jeff Clement > dogs > people?

Yes. Something like that

There are a lot of other species of fauna and flora in between dogs and people though

There may be things between Jeff Clement and dogs, though

Strasburg, Jay Bruce, etc.

Adam Jones?

Or is he estranged now?

Fuck Adam Jones >:(

AWK?

awk sucks

I understand that it’s useful and very fast for text processing but it’s just not my cup of tea.

Disagrees with you

Pujols got to Hamels as well?

Woo!

Aaron Campeau - June 2, 2008 reply

Coach Owens?

No

Butthol?

No

Coach's butthol?

Flag'd for flagging.

Flagged for meta.

You should have flagged me without a subject line. DANCE

Needs more amputee girl.

Isn't that her on the far left?

I have no idea who these people are, but...

I guess they fired the zombie groundskeeper?

I have no idea..but

::vomits::

I think I understand why you hate furries now.

STOP IT!

Ok, I will stop.

Sorry, I get carried away.

Dammit I'm violently ill now you prick.

LEAVE BRIANL ALONE!

Still not as good as my "LEAVE MIKE MORSE ALONE!"

I still would punch that kid on the face if I saw him on the stret.

But what would you do to him if you saw him on the street?

Punch him in the faace.

JI?

Llewdor - June 2, 2008 reply

I told you all he was contagious.

Now we have an epidemic on our hands.

I think (hope) it's just lack of sleep,

mind erasing monotonous tasks to do at work, and a distinct lack of booze in my bloodstream.

Not willing to take that risk.

I’m recommending you for quarantine as well as JI.

As long as there's access to beer, I don't care.

All we can allow is Miller and Bud.

Screw you then.

You’ll have to find me first.

I can give you a free morphine drip if you'd like.

Tempting....

Never been a narcotics kind of guy though.

that

she looks like Barf from SpaceBalls

jealousblues - June 2, 2008 reply

Smaller sig?

I would post a pic of Barf

If it weren’t for BrianL.

Barf was awesome.

0_0

Well that would explain that photo we found

ningwers - June 2, 2008 reply

what photo?

Wouldn't you like to know.

I would.

So would I to be honest with you.

Or maybe it’s better than I don’t know.

That team had talent.

I forgot about that.

Andy Benes was on that team

Bill Risley is the guy I always forget who was good.

Someone said that to me yeasterday.

err

the less funny way of spelling it

'Make infections yeasterday'

That’d be an awesome slogan for some new antimyotic.

I wish to sell this slogan for 50,000 theoretical dollars.

*Canadian dollars

Maybe 50,000 US Dollars

which would be $6.32 Canadian dollars.

I wish to bask in a glorious ast where Canada was our bitch.

... and the Mariners had 90 win seasons.

The organization definitely needs an antimyotic to cure its short-sighted attitude towards the present and the future.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/SEA/1995_sched.shtml

wr9iong

We were 13 games out of first place on August 2, but…

http://www.baseball-reference.com/games/standings.cgi?date=1995-08-02

We were a grand total of 2 games behind in the wild card standings

And if we look on the standings on the morning of August 24, the day of the 9-7 win against the Yankees that started things off:

http://www.baseball-reference.com/games/standings.cgi?date=1995-08-23

4 games back of Texas for the Wild Card, a half game behind Milwaukee.

The mythology that the Mariners were out of the playoff race in August 1995 is just plain wrong. The shocking part was catching the Angels.

I know, I was there.

I was talking about the division.

The real mythology is that the Wild Card was for pussies and we should ignore it.

Yeah, but we're something like 13 games out of the WC

and 7.5 games behind Texas. This team is toast in June, unlike 1995.

I know.

Again, you are taking a mildly amusing one liner a bit too seriously, even after I admitted it wasn’t a serious comparison.

1995: SRS BZNS

We're all, in some way, connected to the same bank.

Phil Hatzenbuehler - June 2, 2008 reply

BB Scotch Ale: much more than 'solid'

This season is summed up in the fact that I comment much more, and have much more forceful opinions, on the beers in these posts than on the match-ups.

marc w - June 2, 2008 reply

I went with pithy because I was short on time

but yes, I really enjoy that beer.

For the LL gathering you guys should all bring 30s of Bud Light

And ostracize the first person to drink it

WTF is a 30?

30s

the amount of time we could all stand around a case of Bud Light on a softball field before somebody starts hitting it with a bat.

I don't care...I'd drink it. I can be a beer snob when I want...and if no one else is drinking it..move outta the way

I'm with you

College has taught me not to turn down free beer, even if it is bad beer. I just wouldn’t pay for Bud Light

Favorite four letter word in college: free

Favorite five letter word in college: cheap

No trust fund for me. :(

Favorite four letter word in college: ~~free~~ fart

I’m hilarious

Rec'd for making less sense than Coach

Public out of state college. No trust fund. Cheap is good. Free is better.

There’s my college experience summed up in four sentences.

Yup

My “God, I have to drink SOMETHING, but can’t afford much” beer in college was Rainier Ale in 40s, aka “Green Death”.

I'll assume you mistakenly left out a 'm' in the unit of measurement.

I'm using JI's keyboard

Mildly amusing because the pic is appropriate, and it's a pic of my keyboard:

A 40oz you stole from a bum in the alley after he drank part of it.

30 pack?

The best thing about this series being meaningless will be the absence of HH invasion.

Is it wrong of me to hope for a sweep (us getting swept)

so we can start trading/dumping our old/sucky guys?

LantermanC - June 2, 2008 reply

No

I can't root against the M's (especially with the Angels in town),

but I think being on the wrong side of a sweep would be a long term benefit to the org.

I wish I firmly believed that to be true.

And it’s a tough line to tread since that’s where I feel we (as bloggers) get the negative reputation of wanting the team to fail. We don’t want them to fail. We’re just utterly convinced the current management has no clue how to build a winner and thus our first priority is to see them replaced with smarter people in charge.

But that’s nuanced and if soon-to-be 23 years of life have taught me anything it’s that the general populace sees black and white only.

That sounds an awful lot like my #1 life lesson

No matter what you say or how you say it, there will always be people who misunderstand.

My #1 lesson was "don't force it"

That was your life lesson until she said no?

Can't say 'no' if they're passed out.

Man has a point.

and he used that point in a very illegal way.

highfive

Passed out works too I guess

Not gas chamber passed out

Yeah, the residue really makes your eyes burn.

Rubber gloves and gas masks help with that.

I don't like to feel restricted.

“come on baby, don’t make me wear it, I’ll be careful, I promise..”

...but then the phone rings and startles you

No, her mom walked in.

That’s when the trouble really started.

And then you find out she's late a month later.

Yeah, I couldn't believe her mom was pregnant.

Well, you know the phrase "going commando"

Think going SONDERkommando.

Just your eyes?

There could be children present.

I was showing some restraint.

Why do you have to fly off the handle like that?

Is it because of my age? Because sometimes I say stupid shit? All I see if you blasting me on every thread.

Tell me about it.

If we had brought my gif in to pitch the ninth instead of Sulivan's, we would have won the game.

Off Topic

Is there still room at “the feed”
And will there be all these beers you guys keep advertising (I didnt’ read the information correctly, it might be a library, not sure if you can bring beer there)

LantermanC - June 2, 2008 reply

Still room, no beer

davidcameron - June 2, 2008 reply

Yes, there's still room, see Dave's latest post about it on USSM.

No, no beer in the library.

Don't tell that to the homeless dudes that hang out there

pdb - June 2, 2008 reply

Drink beer before, or after, or both

I’m sure there will be a healthy contingent going to a bar for the game.

Hey Matthew, I'm in Columbus, Ohio. I was wondering if there are any interesting local brews that you are familiar with.

blackout stout

and here’s a link (scroll down to the bottom half) of some others you should check out

Thank you.

Little Bitch, LMAO!

“I’m Torii Hunter and this is my rally monkey. His name is Rusty.”

Good luck in this series guys, it should be fun to watch no matter the outcome.

44FAN - June 2, 2008 reply

You realize we don't care, right?

You won't have a chance to get walk-off wins in Seattle. I'm thinking thats reason enough for you to celebrate.

Especially when walk-off wins are full of fail according to some people.

Thanks for being a good sport

but the Mariners are going to lose pretty badly. 3 times.

It's going to be awesome to see the FO do nothing after we get swept.

"So you're telling there's a chance?"

the new 2008 Seattle Mariners slogan.

Almost!