Lookout Landing

THIS IS VIVID

BUT NOT AS VIVID AS THE PICTURE I WILL PAINT OF CARLOS BELTRAN'S TIMELY END

AND FRAME WITH HIS SMALL INTESTINES

VIVID BUT ACCURATE

OH GOD PLEASE DON'T BE HURT BADLY

He walked off the field, didn't he?

He had to be helped off

Got carried off...

No he had to be carried

Held up by two people

They'd probably use a stretcher for a broken bone

Having broken both my ankles...

A sprain hurts far, far more and is less likely to be walked on. I’m honestly concerned about a break.

I've walked on broken ankles

Sprains have laid me flat.

It looked like Felix's spikes held his foot in place...

while Beltran’s foot pushed his ankle out. Violent adduction type movement. If its ligament damage, depending on the severity, anywhere from 2 – 8 weeks

Fuck your random guessing.

NO

NOT REALLY

I'm going to curl up into a little ball and cry myself to sleep

BLOOD WILL RAIN FROM THE SKIES IN CARLOS BELTRAN'S WORLD! AND IT WILL BE HIS OWN!

Puke everywhere

PhilKenSebben - June 23, 2008 reply

WIN IT FOR FELIX!!!

KILL THEM FOR FELIX

I WAS GOING TO SEE YOU AND PEAVY ON SUNDAY

NOW I WILL SEE SOMEBODY ELSE THROUGH CRIMSON EYEGLASSES
CRIMSON WITH BLOOD

I BOUGHT THE BEST TICKETS I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE FOR THAT GAME.

This sucks acres of ass.

ERIK BEDARD SHOWS EXUBERANCE AT HIS FELLOW PITCHER'S SUCCESS AND

CONCERN AT THEIR INJURIES HE IS SUCH A BAD TEAMMATE.

Has someone at least GIF'd Raul's bobble?

OTHER PRIORITIES

WAIT FOR ARCHIVES I'M NOT A BLODDY JUKEBOX

Dude you are way off tonight.

WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NICE THINGS?!

FUN FACT TRIVIA THE NEW YORK METS HAVE NEVER THROWN A NO-HITTER

OH GREAT

FUN FACT TRIVIA THE NEW YORK METS ARE A BIG GAY PILE

I GET LAID MORE OFTEN THAN THE ENTIRE NEW YORK METS

That's just not true.

STOP OR I WILL BAN YOU FOR

A WHILE

OK

They say people get what they deserve...

I seriously am trying to remember but when the 2008 Mariner’s
gang rape a school of nuns.

Do we really deserve this?

you forgot about the orphans

ningwers - June 23, 2008 reply

I'm going to go play MLB 07 and play the Mets and just bean Beltran over and over.

aim for the face

And then run over to him and spike him in the ball

aim for the balls and pitch with zumaya

I'm going to do the same with MLB 08 because it's better.

Sounds like everyone I played last year online

only replace Beltran with Pujols.

Thank goodness Rolen and Edmonds weren’t nerfed.

bluemax - June 23, 2008 reply

Would you take the Grand Slam back if it meant that rolled ankle didn't happen?

Depends on whether or not it's a serious injury.

It most likely isn't

I know about adrenaline and all that, but would he have really been able to walk around the mound like he did after the injury if it was that serious?

I've fucked up my ankle to where I couldn't even put any pressure on it, and it was fine a week later.

My girlfriend fucked her ankle and missed a year of triathlon competitions before

But Felix just has to be ok.

PLAYERS HAVE MANAGED BAD ANKLES BEFORE

DID YOU NOT SEE HIS FACE

As in wincing and wetting his face?

Sports on a Schtick - June 23, 2008 reply

This season

sorry, this is just the funniest thing ive seen in a while

ive seen you guys suffer enough, i honestly hope felix is okay

anaheim angels - June 23, 2008 reply

TELL US ABOUT HIS INJURY, GET HIM A FUCKING MRI RIGHT NOW

GET HIM ICE, GET HIM PAINKILLERS, USE FUCKING MAGIC TO HEAL IT I DON’T KNOW BUT FIX HIM

NECROMANCY! FULLMETAL ALCHEMY! ANYTHING!!!

Get him comfort women

AND SOME SANGRIA.

FELIX IS LATIN AND CARLOS BELTRAN IS LATIN

BELTRAN WILL NOT EXPECT WHAT HE IS GOING TO RECEIVE

IT WILL BE OF FIRE AND PAIN!

MAN ON FIRE

Please...no one make a gif of that closeup of his ankle snapping

IT DIDN'T SNAP

SHUT THE HELL UP

Someone run out to center and stomp Beltran into the ground

IF I WAS A OCTOPUS I WOULD BE ABLE TO SHOT HIM 8 TIMES

I wish Beltran's aerial collision in 2005 wasn't with Cammie because then watching it would soothe me

I WISH IT HAD BEEN WITH A FUCKING HOWITZER

OR MY CAR

FUCK CATS AND FUCK CARLOS BELTRAN

My cat wishes pain upon Carlos Beltran, delivered by her razor sharp claws.

PHOTOSHOP IN TORRI HUNTER

The closeup of that slide made me think of the sound celery breaking.

God. I feel sick

SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP

Too vivid.

ITS NOT BROKEN

oh hey another Beltre line out.

What happened to Felix?

I was away for an hour.

You don't want to know.

Carlos Beltran is a fucking bastard happened to him.

STAB STAB STAB

THERE IS A GIF MADE OF IT

Was he taken out as a precaution

Or did it look serious?

NOT UNSERIOUS

He was carried off the field

Fuck my life.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Fuck

God damn it

Welcome to the party

If there's any bright side

It’s just his leg and not his arm

You get your power from your legs

Worst brightside ever.

After trying to make a go at it and the ensuing great anguish was on his face.

He wasn't in shape to pitch.

He tried to throw another pitch

looked to be in so much pain

NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN'T FAIR TO THE METS

NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T FAIR TO THE METS
NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T FAIR TO THE METS
NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T FAIR TO THE METS
NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T FAIR TO THE METS

BETWEEN SERIOUS AND NOT SERIOUS

HE THREW ONE WARMUP PITCH AND THEY WOULDN’T LET HIM STAY IN

I'm guessing you don't enjoy being sad

NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN'T FAIR TO THE METS

I'm deciding if your name is

Smegma – Licious or Smeg – Malicious.

I WOULD PREFER NOT TO DWELL ON SOMETHING SO DISGUSTING

THANK GOD IT IS WHOOSHING OVER MY HEAD

THE SMEGMA IS?

YES sBUT NOW THAT I SEARCHED IT GROSS GROSS GROSS

WHY DO YOU CARE RIGHT NOW?

BECAUSE I AM NOT THAT WORRIED ABOUT THE LONG TERM EFFECTS

of an ankle sprain.

IT IS THE SHORT-TERM EFFECTS THAT MAKE ME DISPLEASED

THIS WAS GOING TO BE AWESOME

True

it was going to be a game for the ages… what with the grand slam and all. Good point.

But Felix is going to be fine.

THIS IS STILL A GAME FOR THE AGES

I AM CERTAIN THAT I WILL BE COMPOSED AGAIN BY THE TIME I DRIVE HOME

TRY NOT TO PRETEND OTHER DRIVERS ARE CARLOS BELTRAN

LETS HOPE FOR THE SAKE OF INNOCENT DRIVERS.

I HOPE I DON'T CROSS ANY LATIN-LOOKING MALES

IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

THAT'S UNPOSSIBLE

THERE IS NO WAY YOU WOULD EVER COME ACROSS A PERSON MEETING THAT DESCRIPTION

IN A CITY ON THE BORDER OF MEXICO

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE THE BUS HOME

YES THAT WOULD CERTAINLY BE FREE OF MEXICANS

THERE WILL CERTAINLY BE NO LATIN MEN ON THE BUSS

KENJI WILL CERTAINLY BE UNDER IT AFTER WASHBURN PITCHES AGAIN

WHO CARES THIS WHOLE PIECE OF SHIT TEAM IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT OUR KING

DAMNIT

Carlos Beltran had better like the taste of the fucking curb, because he will devour it.

I HOPE HE DOES NOT TASTE THE CURB ON ACCOUNT OF HIS TONGUE WILL BE REMOVED

BEFOREHAND

GOOD CALL!

THIS MAY BE WHERE THE JAGGED METAL SHOELACE COMES IN

Richie may suck

But at least he was nice enough to slide around the opponents’ pitcher. This is kinda like going headhunting on the quarterback after an interception – legal, but not nice.

westfried - June 23, 2008 reply

You people are all crazy

And running on emotion right now. Beltran BARELY avoided Clement’s glove sliding in the way he did.

You expect him to care about where Felix is? He’s trying to score!!!

Go get raped.

I second this

Fuck you.

shut up shut up shut up shut up

And in no way

Do I want to see King Felix hurt. He is a joy to watch pitch. But Beltran is one of the nicest guys in baseball. Nothing was intentional in the slide.

THE END OF ALL YOU HOLD DEAR IS NEAR!

HOW ARE YOU NOT BANNED YET

Because I'm rational?

Or because I’m friends with Jeff and AM NOT TROLLING IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM.

You guys are threatening the life of one of my team’s players for a freak accident at the plate. You expect me to just let you say that stuff and not defend him?

GO TO FUCING HELL

A THOUSAND DICKS IN YOUR RELIGION

I HOPE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH!

BECAUSE MY DICK IS COMING FOR AN INSPECTION!

JEFF, YOU CHOSE YOUR FRIENDS WRONGLY!

go somewhere else for today.

EVEN SO THIS IS NOT THE TIME

WE WILL DISCUSS THIS LATER

Hey Future

let it go, man

HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT WE'RE IRRATIONAL RIGHT NOW?

DIE IN A FIRE WHILE YOUR BEING RAPED BY THE DEVIL

Too soon

Go fuck off.

I hope everyone you love is raped to death

I DON'T

Then you

would be getting raped to death.

Jeff: not in favor of this one. ;)

Sorry I will leave your thread. It’s not nice of me to say stuff in your sanctuary.

WE WILL BE MUCH MORE RATIONAL LATER ON

JEFF IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY

HIS WIFE IS OKAY TOO

I DON’T CARE FOR HIS LITTLE BROTHER THOUGH

You strike me as the kind of guy

Who would tell your guy friends in a sauna that you have a raging boner.

I AM READING THIS IN RETROSPECT AND I HOPE YOUR LOVED ONES ARE SAFE AND SOUND.

I hope you fall into a pit of spikey Snickers bars

and die upon impact

Oh boy...

HE COULD'VE SLID TO THE LEFT AND PUT HIS HAND ON THE BASE

He should cover the plate to prevent the run.

I hope some one slits your throat and fucks the hole as you watch it, your life slowly ending. And I hope it happens tonight you miserable fuck.

consider yourself carlos beltran'd

ermac - June 23, 2008 reply

I am very upset

I am very upset with Beltran, that obviously didn’t have to be that bad and still try and score, but Felix (or any player) should not block the plate without the ball.

batura - June 23, 2008 reply

LATER ON WE WILL BE ABLE TO DISCUSS THIS RATIONALLY

Hello Mariners,

I still hate you.

Sincerely,
God

THIS IS THE FAULT OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S NOGOODNIKS

Scrappy the Scapegoat - June 23, 2008 reply

Hello

You............

You miserable fuck.

I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU SCRAPPY

I WILL KILL ALL DOGS

STOP CALLING THE GAME, TELL US ABOUT FELIX

GET US INFORMATION FASTER

There's still a game going on?

SERIOUSLY NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THE MARINERS WIN

Seriously

what the hell are they talking about ? IS FELIX OK??

Inquiring minds want to know:

Mountain Spring Tide – Lethal or Non-Lethal?

FELIX HERNANDEZ HIT A GRAND SLAM OFF OF JOHAN SANTANA!

It turns to ash in my mouth

Ready Morrow's cannon

There is a Beltran to bring down from the skies tonight

Morrow

Is not with the team.

Morrow is with the team

He will not be ready to pitch tonight

He's ready to throw one at Beltran's head.

Morrow is in Seattle..

Becoming the centerpiece of a trade for Horacio Ramirez.

seamariners85 - June 23, 2008 reply

No need for extra pessimism tonight, refrain please...

Morrow is actually in NY, and will be ready to pitch tomorrow

Nah, Rhodes.

You want Morrow to close the ninth. Rhodes knows what to do, and will be cool with the ejection/fine.

And besides, he's not pitching tonight, though he is here according to Baker.

but Morrow can throw really hard

So can Rhodes.

It’s all he’ll need for this.

Oh, and USS Mariner melted down. Again.

SEXSON WILL BE MOBILE BUT FELIX IS NOT MOBILE!

GIVE FELIX YOUR ANKLES!

SEXSON DOESN'T NEED ANKLES

THIS CALLS FOR THE NOTE ROBERT KEEPS IN HIS WALLET IN THE EVENT OF DEATH

AMMEND IT TO ALSO INCLUDE A FELIX INJURY, ROBERT

I LAMINATED IT WITH TAPE:(

AND MY HAND WRITTING IS ALL SHAKEY RIFHGT NOW

TAKE MY WALLET BEFORE I DETONATE

dammit it's taking a while to get the medical report.

MRI'S TAKE A WHILE

NO NO NO NO NO

I AM LYING ON THE FLOOR FIGURITIVELY AND LITERALLY

NOT POSSIBLE, DOES NOT EXIST

THIS IS THE FLOOR I AM CONFIDENT

DO NOT SAY SUCH THINGS

BRING IT BITCH

SCRAPPY IS RAPING MY HOPES AND DREAMS\

AND FUCK SCRAPPY I WANT TO BLAME SOMETHING REAL

THAT IS THE CHEST OF AN UGLY WOMAN

SHE IS VERY FLAT CHESTWED

DO NOT FURTHER PROVOKE THE GODS

LISTEN TO THIS

WOMAN

THAT'S "LISTEN TO THIS WOMAN" NOT "LISTEN TO THIS, WOMAN"

THE COMMA MAKES THINGS DIFFERENT

GOOD THING. BECAUSE I CANT BE ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW.

I AM A LOOSE CANNON

AND SAID CANNON IS POINTED AT MY HEAD

AND AT A ANGLE THAT WILL ALSO HARM CARLOS bELTRANS MOTHER

GOD HAS A BUM ANKLE AND IS UNABLE TO CURRENTLY BE PROVOKED

THERE ARE NO GODS / THERE IS NO GOD

THERE WAS A GOD

GOD IS DEAD WITH AN ANKLE SPRAIN

YES THIS WOULD BE SECRET OPTION C

AND I WOULD SAY GOD WEARS A CUBS UNIFORM BUT THIS IS NEITHER THE TIME NOT THE PLACE

I LIKE PIE

MMMM PIE

NIETZSCHE WAS LIKE 110 YEARS EARLY

THIS WAS PROVEN TODAY

The Mets should give away Johan Santana to the Mariners

for pulling that bullshit

I feel so empty right now.

After being so high, everything now just feels stupid. Everything is just bleh.

THERE IS NO FUCKING FLOOR!

Hit Santana in the fucking hand

MY CARD IN MY WALLET DOESNT SAY IT BUT FELIX CAN MY ANKLES AS WELL

I WANT TO SEE SOME HEAD HUNTING MR. CORCORAN

OH GOD

THEY’RE SAYING 6 WEEKS.

I WISH FELIX COULD HAVE GOT THAT LAST STRIKE

WHO IS SAYING SIX WEEKS?!?!?!

DAN WILSON

I AM WATCHING THE SEATTLE BROADCAST AND HAVE NOT HEARD THIS

Dan said he was out for six weeks with an ankle injury years ago.

DAN WILSON IS A PUSSY

WHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS

wrong guy, roy

ermac - June 23, 2008 reply

Sources say

Felix is ok and will make his next start

WHERE WHEN WHY HOW

Don’t be fucking lying.

HOW DO YOU KNOW!?

CONFIRMATION, PLEASE CITE YOUR SOURCE!

NOT FUNNY

Sorry

I was just trying to bring a brief moment of hope to this shitty shitty time.

FUCK YOU

FALSE HOPE IS SHIT HOPE

NOT THE TIME>

WhAT SOURCES

don’t be playing with our emotions at a time like this

FAKE SOURCES ARE GAY

banned

THEY HAD BETTER BE DISCUSSING THE END OF ALL LIFE WITH THE NAME BELTRAN!

HE HIT THE UMPIRE?

I was about to sound a battle call to pillage and raze Amazin' Avenue

But they have like 20 total posts in their game thread.

what about metsblog

DO NOT

I won't

Mets Geek would be the place

MetsBlog does not have game threads

not that I am advocating trolling

NOR I

INVASION INVASION

Just kidding, for some reason board invasions are worse than murder on the internet.

NO FUCKING TROLLING

NO FUCKING TROLLING

WHAT ABOUT THE MLB.COM FORUM

GOD

I'M NOT GOING TO

I just figured if there is a place to troll that’s it

WHY ARE YOU LIKE YOU?

I blame my parents

God damn Roy sucks

Look, folks.

There’s NO WAY any trainer in the universe lets him throw a practice with a broken ankle. It’s probably a sprain.

er, practice pitch

You can't tell if tendons are torn or not that quickly

But here’s hoping.

Would Felix really give him a choice?

There's no way any trainer in the world would know if the ankle's broke or not

Sure you can. That's what the trainer is there for.

You can't tell if it's a break straight away

Well, the trainer's an idiot, then.

If you suspect broken bones, what, you’re going to let him throw a pitch and drive off of broken bones? So he can break some more of them?

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement.

Felix should not have tried to stay in.

CAPS LOCK BACK ON

ONE STIRKE FROM WIN

HE WOULD HAVE PITCHED THROUGH TREMENDOUS PAIN TO GET IT

IT WORRIES ME THAT HE WASNT ABLE TO

FUCK, EVEN THE TRAINERS ARE INCOMPETENT LIKE THE FRONT OFFICE

AND NOW I’M YELLING

Felix couldn't have put weight on a broken ankle

You can't tell if it's a break straight away

Break some bones

You can’t put weight on a broken ankle.

HE'S A FUCKING BIOMECHANICAL ENGINEER HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT

AND A MEDICALLY TRAINED SEARCH AND RESCUE BOY WHICH IS KIND OF MORE RELEVENT HERE

REGARDLESS YOU ARE RIGHT

I HAVE FUCKING TREATED BROKEN ANKLES YOU IDIOT

YOU’VE SEEN SOMEONE BREAK THEIR ANKLE ON MY FUCKING FACE AND WALK AROUND ON IT.

HE TORE LIGAMENTS

AND HE PROBABLY HAD AN ADRENALINE RUSH FROM PLAYING SOFTBALL AND WANTING TO BREAK SOMEONE’S FACE

AS OPPOSED TO FELIX HERNANDEZ PLAYING A MAJOR LEAGUE FUCKING BASEBALL GAME

PLUS PALMITER DID BREAK HIS ANKLE BECAUSE I HAD TO FUCKING TAKE HIM TO HOSPITAL

HOW DID HE NOT KILL YOU

I'M HIS BEST FRIEND

I ONCE WENT TO A ROCK SHOW WITH A BROKEN ANKLE AND DANCED MY ASS OFF BECAUSE I WAS DRUNK AS HELL

I've broken both, and sprained both.

Sprain was much, MUCH worse…

Sure he could, depending on how bad the break was

THERE WAS A KID IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS NAMED BELTRAN AND HE WAS FEEBLE

SPRAINED ANKLE!

WE’RE SAVED!

DAVE SIMS: SPRAIN

THAT CAN MEAN ANYTHING

SPRAIN IS A HUGE CATEGORY

SPRAINED ANKLE THANK FUCKING GOODNESS

JUST A SPRAIN!

SPRAINS ARE STILL BAD

THEY CAN BE WORSE THAN BREAKS SOMETIMES

AND OTHER TIMES NOT

HOW LONG WILL HE BE OUT?

THEY WON'T KNOW THAT FOR A WHILE

DEPENDS HOW BAD THE SPRAIN IS

SERIOUSLY, SPRAINS CAN INCLUDE TEARING OF LIGAMENTS AND TENDONS AND SHIT

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

WHAT IS THE AVERAGE TIME TABLE FOR A SPRAIN?!

THAT DEPENDS ON THE SPRAIN!

DEPENDS ON THE SEVERITY OF THE SPRAIN

HAHA YOU'RE OLATE!

This game has featured the most chasmic gamut of moments

You're so eloquent Gomez.

Irony is a bitch

I’m usually the one posting all caps comments.

Fuck my life.

IF YOU AREN'T TYPING IN CAPS RIGHT NOW YOU ARE BIG DUMB

I THOUGHT YOU HATED MY MEMES

WJAT

WKAT

FUCK WHAT

CARLOS BELTRAN

WLAT

WMAT

WOAT

W[COATHANGER]AT

THRID TIME WILL BE A CHARM

WRI9ONG

WAS THAT A PITCH OR A FART

We're likely going to have to wait for an MRI tomorrow.

Just pray it isn’t a high-ankle sprain.

NO NOT DJ HACKETT DISEASE

That would be the worst possible thing ever.

LIKE FUCKING HELL

I WILL FLY TO NEW YORK AND GIVE HIM AN MRI RIGHT NOW

PLEASE BE OKAY FELIX

CORCORAN IF YOU DONT BEAN BELTRAN

THEN EAT HIS SOUL WHILE EVERYONE WATCHES…THEN YOU ARE KICKED OFF EARTH FOREVER

"Sprain" = We still don't know but we're telling you SOMETHING

IT ALSO MEANS THEY'RE TRYING TO STOP US FROM COMMITTING GROUP SUICIDE!

RITUAL SUICIDE

EVOLUTIONARILY SPEAKING NATURE WOULD SELECT AGAINST PEOPLE WITH HURT ANKLES

EXCEPT FELIX

EVOLUTIONARYILY SPEAKING NATURE WOULD SELECT AGAINST PEOPLE WHO TRY TO HURT GOD

AND YET THIS IS NOT SO

I WOULD BE DOWN WITH HITTING WRIGHT AS WELL

JUST BEAN EVRYONE IN THEIR GODDAMN LINEUP

HE WOULD LIKELY BAREHAND THE PITCH AND THROW IT AT FELIX

LIKE A BIG PUSS

SPRAIN DOESNT EVEN REALLY MEAN ANYTHING

FUUUUUUUUUUCK

I WILL WEAR A BELTRAN JERSEY AND RAPE A EWOK

Winner.

I like it! I really do.

http://www.arthroscopy.com/sp09005.htm
http://www.arthroscopy.com/sp09005.htm
http://www.arthroscopy.com/sp09005.htm
http://www.arthroscopy.com/sp09005.htm

HERE'S SOME INFO ABOUT SPRAINS

A Grade I (First Degree) sprain is the most common and requires the least amount of treatment and recovery. The ligaments connecting the ankle bones are often over-stretched, and damaged microscopically, but not actually torn. The ligament damage has occurred without any significant instability developing.

A Grade II (Second Degree) injury is more severe and indicates that the ligament has been more significantly damaged, but there is no significant instability. The ligaments are often partially torn.

A Grade III (Third Degree) sprain is the most severe. This indicates that the ligament has been significantly damaged, and that instability has resulted. A grade III injury means that the ligament has been torn.

WE GET IT OKAY

WE ARE CAPABLE OF CLICKING LINKS

I'M NOT

HOW CAN YOU CLICK LINKS AFTER THAT?

PLEASE BE A GRADE I

It's not

they don’t hurt that bad. Felix was crying out there… and not just because he didn’t get to notch the W.

FUCK YOU

NO NO JOHNBAI IS GOOD

JOHNBAI IS UNDER THE PROTECTION OF THE POWERS THAT BE

Surprising...

since I’m seriously FAILING to get into this whole GTE thing. But thanks.

WE ALL STILL LOVE YOU

WE JUST LOVE FELIX A WEE BIT MORE

=(

I had an ankle sprain from a similar sort of assault on my ankle.

I was sliding towards a soccer ball and a keeper jumped on my ankle and destroyed it.
I was out for 2 weeks, and have reinjured it like 7 times over the past 5 years.

"SPRAIN"

CODE FOR “WE DON’T KNOW”

I FUCKING HATE TENDINITIS SORTS OF MALADIES

LEARN HOW TO BLOCK A PITCH YOU FUCK

BREAK EVERY MET BONE POSSIBLE

EXCEPT FOR BELTRAN'S SKULL WE MUST KEEP HIM ALIVE AND FEELING THINGS

MIKE CAMERON ALREADY TRIED

THIS IS WHY WE LOVE MIKE CAMERJN

MIKE CAMERON IS PSYCHIC AND TRIED TO PREVENT THIS SITUATION

Is Clement really THIS bad behind the plate?

ENJOY YOUR LAST INNING AS A NON-DEAD PERSON BELTRAN

THIS IS IT

Pretty sure Wright got robbed there...

QUICK, HAS ANYONE EVER HEARD OF THIS 'SPRAIN' THING BEFORE OR PERHAPS

KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS HAD A ‘SPRAIN’?? WHAT’S IT LIKE AND PLEASE GIVE DETAILED PROGNOSIS!!!

I've done all three anterior ankle ligaments three times on each foot...so, some experience

Grade 1 sprain – he may be right for his next start
Grade 2 – 2-4 weeks
Grade 3 – (you can’t stand or walk on this) up to 8 weeks

PLEASE DON'T BE GRADE 3!

He was walking, he threw a warm up pitch, THEN they helped him off the mound…but then sometimes you can still stand right after it happens, right? Crap.

DON’T BE GRADE 3!!

Rec'd for irony

unless you were serious… in which case I retract my rec.

IO FUCKING HATE YOU VITOR ARTINEZ

WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?!?

This is how World War I started dammit.

THIS IS WORSE THAN ANY WAR

DID CARLOS BELTRAN START THAT?!

BECAUSE HE IS ABOUT TO START ANOTHER ONE

DID WORLD WAR I INVOLVE THE OBLITERATION OF NEW YORK?

IF SO I AM ALL FOR IT

FUCK WW1, THIS IS KING FUCKING FELIX

FUCK THE ARCHDUKE FRANZ FERDINAND

CAN’T WALK OFF A BULLET WOUND, YOU PANSY?

WE WOULD BE OK WITH THIS RIGHT NOW.

TRENCH WARFARE HO!

WE BUILD NO TRENCHES TO FALL BACK

WE JUST GENOCIDE THESE METS BITCHES

WAR WORLD 1 HAD A VERY FUNNY START

FUCK YOU FOR SAYING THIS FUNNY

I HAD A FRIEND THAT DIED IN WORLD WAR ONE

YOUR FRIEND HAS BEEN DEAD FOR A LONG TIME

HE WILL HAVE MANY STOREIS TO SHARE WITH CALROS BELTRAN

HE WON'T GRACE CARLOS BELTRAN WITH HIS STORIES

BECAUSE JI’S FRIEND IS IN HEAVEN

BELTRAN IS GOING TO WHATEVER IS WORSE THAN HELL

SHEA

WHATEVER IS WORSE THAN SHEA THEN

UNLESS YOU MEAN SHEA AFTER IT GETS TORN DOWN

SHEA GETTING TORN DOWN

ACTUALLY COUNTS AS PORNOGRAPHY NOW

THE THOUGHT OF SHEA NOT EXISTING IS ORGASMIC

I HAVE GOOD MEMORIES AND BAD MEMORIES OF SHEA I AM DIVIDED

Clearly this situation calls for House

HOUSE ALSO HAS A BUM LEG

HOW DARE YOU

ITS A SPRAIN THERE NOW ITS DIAGONOSED

FUCK YOU I HAD A FRIEND DIE OF DIAGNOSES

SHE CUT HERSELF WITH HER BRA THEN FOREMAN FRIED HER IMMUNE SYSTEM

BRAS CAN BE OCCASIONALLY DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH

THIS IS TRUE.

GO VELCRO

VERY CLASSY

I FEEL I DONT DESERVE EASY RIGHT NOW.

THIS IS A PECULIAR DISCUSSION

HOUSE MEMES IN ALL CAPS WHO KNEW

NOT CAMERON

CAMERON FAILED IS MURDERING BELTRAN CUDDY IS STILL HOTTER

HE DIDNT LOOK BEFORE HE NUKED

FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME SMILE

WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE SCORE ANYMORE.

hello from st louis - good luck dudes

awesome followed by brutal. injuries heal, but that slam will last forever.

astrostl - June 23, 2008 reply

Thank you

Well said.

Annnnnnnd deep breath.

Thank you.

We appreciate nice sane people right now.

To a degree.

CARLOS BETRAN IS A STUPID ASSHOLE WHO COULDNT GET HIS TEAM INTO THE WORLD SERIES. TWICE.

caps lock temporarily deactivated

PENALTY BOX

HAHAHAHA

ningwers - June 23, 2008 reply

It isn't fair that such joy has to be followed by that

You are cool.

WHAT LITTLE RESPECT I HAVE LEFT FOR THIS ROSTER WILL BE LOST

IF BELTRAN DOESN’T GET BEANED

Not sure what everyone's worried about, Felix will be fine.

And if there’s a season to get injured in, it’s this season.

FUCK OFF THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS

Not the time for.. being rational?

CORRECT

EXACTLY DO YOU NOT SEE THE CAPS?

RATIONAL WENT OUT THE WINDOW AWHILE AGO.

FLAGGED FOR I WANT TO KILL YOU

YOU ARE HAVING A BAD COUPLE OF GAMETHREADS

I HAVE FOUND 17 NEW YORK CARLOS BELTRANS IN MY DATA BASE

WHO HERE HAS SEEN TERNMINATOR 1

You're going to kill all 17?

FOR GOOD MEASURE

WELL I GUESS THIS PINCH HITTING MEANS THEY WILL NOT HIT BELTRAN BECAUSE THEY DON'T WNAT HIM THROWN OUT

RRS THROWN OUT THAT IS

GOD I FUCKING HATE THIS TEAM

IF THIS TEAM DOESN'T THROW AT CARLOS BELTRAN

I NEVER EVER SPEND ANOTHER DIME WATCHING MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL AGAIN

I DO NOT TAKE YOU AT YOUR WORD

OK

IF THIS TEAM DOESN’T THROW AT CARLOS BELTRAN I WILL NOT COMMENT HERE FOR TWO WEEKS

REMEMBER THAT THIS IS THE MARINERS

MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

JIM RIGGLEMAN IS A BEAST

THROWING AT HIM ISNT ENOUGH

THROW AT HIS FACE

I THINK YOU ARE LYING

WHO ARE THEY INTERVIEWING

WHY IS IT NOT THE DOCTOR

HAHAHAHHAHA

IF I NEEDED A KIDNEY AND CARLOS BELTRAN WAS THE ONLY OPTION I WOULD CHOOSE DEATH.

What?

I'D TAKE HIS FUCKING KIDNEY

AND THEN KILL HIM

CARLOS BELTRAN WOULD BE LESS LIKELY TO FIGHT OFF BLADDER INFECTIONS WITH ONE KIDNEY YOU SELFISH BASTARD

I HAVE BEEN IN BETTER MOODS

I AM BREAKING THINGS WHEN I SHOULD BE CLEANING

YOU SHOULD DO METH

WE SHOULD ALL DO METH THEN POST HERE

THAT WOULD BE FUCKING HILARIOUS

IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN

WE’D ALL GO OUT AND PAWN OUR COMPUTERS BEFORE THE FIRST PITCH.

HAVE YOU SEEN BREAKING BAD

IT’S A GREAT SHOW. TRY IT SOMETIME IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY.

I HAD A BROTHER DIE BECAUSE OF METH

nah, I actually did. Your suggestion is stupid.

THAT WAS A COMPLETELY SERIOUS SUGGESTION

AND NOW I AM OFFENDED

I PREFER A PREGANCY PACT

JAMIE BURKE SHOULD STAY IN TO HIT BELTRAN BETWEEN THE EYES

Hi, just showed up.

Anything interesting happen?

Paytheline - June 23, 2008 reply

DONT YOU FUCKING TOUCH ICHIRO YOU COCKSUCKER

GOOD THING ICHIRO DIDNT PUNCH SANTANA LIKE A COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER

KICK HIM ICHIRO

I thought santana

Was about to do it to ichiro too.

YOU TAKE YOUR FILTHY LATIN HANDS OFF OF OUR SELFISH SUPERSTAR

ROTFLMAO

Are you new here?

ICHIRO IS TRYING TO GET CLOSER TO BELTRAN SO HE CAN CUT HIM

HAS A PITCHER EVER CHARGED THE PLATE AND STARTED

POUNDING THE BATTER?

IT BETTER HAPPEN NEXT INNING

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WTF HAPPENED TO FELIX???

PLEASE PLEASE I WENT OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AND MISSED IT DO I HAVE TO KILL CARLOS BELTRAN?

YES

IN A WORD.

YES.

YES

DON'T ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS JUST RAPE THAT MOTHERFUCKER

FELIX

HOME PLATE

BELTRAN SLIDE

ANKLE

ANKLE BAD

KILL BELTRAN

BELTRAN NO

felix covered the plate, beltran slid into him, sprain of some kind on his ankle

SOMEONE TOUCHED HIM.

THAERS A MOTHERFUCKIN GIF FOR SHITS SAKE

NOTHING HAPPENED

EVERYTHING IS OK

LALALALALALA

Ichiro

Needs to steal second and slide in cleats up

HE NEEDS TO STEAL CENTER AND GO IN SPIKES TO THE MOTHERFUCKING FACE

THIS THREAD COULD BE TURNED INTO AN ANDREW WK SONG

I DO NOT WANT TO PARTY AT THE MOMENT!

I WANT A KILLING BELTRAN PARTY

PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY BELTRAN PINATA

RICHIE NEEDS TO CHARGE CENTER FIELD AND THROW HIS HELMET AT THAT MEXICAN HEAP OF OVARIES

WHY WHY WASN'T SEXSON COVERING THE PLATE

OR CAIRO
OR VIDRO
OR RAUL

BECAUSE GOD HATES US

GEORGE CARLIN....

WOULD BE PROUD OF THIS THREAD.

TOO SOON

THE ONLY THING THAT IS TOO SOON IS BELTRANBEING ALIVE

WHAT??

THAT DOES NOT EVEN MAKE SENSE

NEITHER DOES BELTRAN BEING ALIVE

I CONCEDE THIS POINT.

LIFE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

LIFE IS AN AGONIZING SEQUENCE OF PEOPLE USING A WRENCH ON MY TESTICLES

THE ONLY LIFE WHICH SHOULD BE AGONIZING IS THE REST OF CARLOS BELTRANS

AND YOU EXPECT MORE FROM GTE??

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK DEATH DIE CARLOS

ICHIRO....

IS USING HIS OWN PERSONAL 2ND BASE BAG.

ARGH I HOPE YOU DIE TONIGHT BELTRAN

OK IT'S TIME TO KILL BELTRAN

DON'T KILL HIM

TORTURE HIM SLOWLY LIKE WHAT HE HAS MADE US ENDURE RIGHT NOW

KILL HIM SOFTLY

BUT NOT WITH A SONG, WITH A WHOLE LOT OF TINY RAZORBLADES.

AN SAYS: I AM SO SORRY GUYS

SWEET JESUS I HOPE KING IS OKAY

RECD FOR USING ALL CAPS

REC'D BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL AND EVERYONE HERE IS epussyepussyepussy

when a girl shows up.
>_>

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL

GOD DAMN ONE EXCITING GAME THIS YEAR AND ALL THE CRAZIES COME OUT

You know the girls get tons more attention just because they're girls.

WELCOME TO PENALTY BOX

YOU WILL RETURN WHEN I FEEL LIKE ALLOWING YOU TO RETURN

SHE'S A FUCKING VISITOR FROM AN PAYING HER REGARDS

HAVE A BIT MORE FUCKING RESPECT

DO YOU DESIRE ANOTHER BANNING?

REINCARNATION OF A FORMERLY BANNED USER?

GOD YOU ARE ANNOYING

This is a poor comment

Random male A's fan does not get this reception.

I was more put off by what you said

not why you said it

I kinda don't get it.

I hope Carlos Beltran steals your genitalia.

REC'D FOR BEING A STRANGE COMMENT

SORRY, STRANGE BUT HILARIOUS COMMENT

HE WOULD NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT

I hope Carlos Beltran steals your genitalia.

I had that ready to go.

I fail.

Again.

It's nice to see other team's fans supporting.

THANKS FOR YOUR KINDNESS!

THANKS FOR ALL CAPS

REC FOR FITTING IN DESPITE NOT BEING HERE FOR THE THREAD

I'VE BEEN READING SINCE THE SLAM

ARE YOU IN ON THE BELTRAN KILLING TOO?

WILL STICK A SHARP OBJECT UP HIS ASS SIDEWAYS.

THIS SOUND LIKE AN EXCELLENT PLAN

THANK YOU FOR BEING GRACIOUS

CORCORAN IS GOING TO GET THE WIN AND THAT IS A FUCKING CRIME

CORCO SHOULD TEXT HIS COUSIN AND MAKE SURE HE CREDITS FELIX IN HIS POSTGAME INTERVIEW

HERE WE GO

HIT HIM HIT HIM HIT HIM HIT HIM

HIT HIM NOW

HIT HIM IN THE FACE

IF HE DOES NOT AIM FOR THE FACE OR GROIN HE DESERFVES TO BE A TARGET OF GENOCIDE

CHILD MOLESTERS DESERVE BETTER....

THAN CARLOS BELTRAN.

DO NOT RELY ON THE PITCH.

WALK UP AND PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE.

AGREE

THEY SHOULD DO THAT THING WHERE CLEMENT BENDS DOWN AND CORCORAN PUSHES BELTRAN AND BELTRAN FALLS OVER CLEMENT

AND THEN RIGGLEMAN DROPS ACID ON HIM

I MEAN RRS BUT WHATEVER

Sometimes... I think people on this site

conform a bit too much…

YOU ARE IRRITATING AT THE MOMENT

AT SEVERAL MOMENTS IN FACT

FLAGGED

SOMETIMES I THINK PEOPLE CONFORM TOO MUCH WITH MY IDEALS

THEN I REMEMBER HOW MUCH MORE AWESOME I AM THAN PEOPLE LIKE YOU

QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO GET BANNED

Ok...

Not really sure how that’s an annoying comment… Just saying that the all caps thing, while probably funny at first, is just a bit annoying to read now… Just my opinion (And yes, I realize no matter what I say, there will be backlash).

ALL CAPS MEANS ANGER

AND EVERYONE HERE IS ANGRY RIGHT NOW

CONSIDERING WE COULD NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS IN NORMAL LL LIFE.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU

THIS IS ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY

I FIND THE CAPITAL LETTERS COMFORTING

AH GOD DAMN IT YOU ARE SO BAD AT LIVING

Ironic how quickly they proved your point

It was like 5 people lined up to conform perfectly

I AM AFRAID OF HOW CALM YOU ARE

I like Felix as much as the next guy.

I named my dog Felix. But I’m 100% confident he’ll miss 1-3 starts and then go back to being the dominanting badass we all know and love. If we were in the race to win the AL West, I’d be worried, but since we’re trying to get the worst record in baseball, all is fine.

OH MY GOD JUST GIVE IT THE FUCK UP AND GO AWAY UNTIL WE'VE COOLED DOWN

PLEASE UNDERSTAND TIMING

Ok, I understand, go ahead and vent then.

Though didn’t your or DMZ say that nothing at this point could get you upset about the Mariners?

I WAS RATHER CLEARLY MISTAKEN

ALTHOUGH I DID LEAVE AN OUT CLAUSE FOR ANYTHING NEGATIVE HAPPENING TO FELIX

SHUT. UP.

QUIT BEING AN ASS

STOP CONFORMING TO DOUCHEBAGGERY

This comment is like the guy at the funeral

who is hitting on the widow

PLEASE ALLOW US THE ONLY REAL EMOTION RELATED TO THE MARINERS WE HAVE FELT ALL SEASON

CONFORMITY IS OK WHEN IT INVOLVES FELIX

IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS I DO BY GOD THERE'D BE A RECKONING FOR THIS NONCONFORMITY

I'M SUCH A NON-CONFOMIST THAT I'M GOING TO TYPE IN SMALL LETTERS BECAUSE THAT ISN'T PREDICTABLE

FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE THEN

HIT HIS FACE

Remember when we were happy?

It was like 35 minutes ago.

RRS

DO YOUR FUCKING JOB

NO HIT HIS FACE

CRUSH HIS TEETH WITH VICE GRIPS

BOO

FLESH EATING PONY THIS BITCHASS

YOURE BETTER ThtAN THIS RRS

HIT HIM IN THE FACE

I JUST WATCHED THE PLAY FOR THE FIRST TIME

HOLY FUCK BELTRAN YOU WILL DIE.

TRAIN WRECK TRAIN WRECK

PLEASE BE OKAY, FELIX.

HEY GUYS, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY: AT LEAST IT WASN’T HIS ARM.

BUT FUCK YOU CARLOS.

NEEDS MORE BOLD

GOD DAMN IT HIT HIM

HIT HIM GODDAMMIT

IF RRS DOESN'T HIT HIM YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH HIM JEFF

FUCK YOU MARINERS FOR NOT THROWING AT HIM

AIM LOW. FOR THE ANKLE.

Yeah fuck you Beltran.

WAY TO STRIKE OUT YOU STUPID FAT FUCK

FINE SIT THE FUCK DOWN WHATEVER YOU'LL GET WHATS COMING TO YOU EVENTUALLY

i have the rage of a thousand suns

A COLD BURNING, LOWERCASE RAGE?

its gone so far that its reset

THRER WE GO AGAIN

NEEDS LESS SHIFT KEY

FELIX HAS A THOUSAND SONS

THEY ARE US

HE CAN HAVE MY ANKLE IF HE SO DESERVES

I CAN PROCESS IN A WHEELCHAIR ON FRIDAY

HE CAN HAVE MY LIFE

I WOULD LIKE TO DONATE MY LIFE

I WILL TAKE UP GIFFING FULL TIME

I SUPPOSE I AM STILL NEEDED THEN

I TAUGUHT YOU EVERYTHING YOU KNOW

AND I MADE IT BETTER

THIS IS UNTRUE

TL;DR

FLAGGED

JEFF'S LIFE, GRAHAM'S ANKLE

WHO COULD RESIST SUCH A LUCRATIVE OFFER OH GOD I WANT TO END IT ALL

IT MAKES FOR AN UNCOMFORTABLE IMPLICATION OF INCEST BUT OK

IF IT WERE A BILLION SUNS IT WOULD BE A MEDIOCRE MUDHONEY ALBUM

YOU DIRTY LITTLE FUCK

STRIKEOUT IS NOT AS GOOD AS HITTING HIM

FUCK YOU RRS IT IS CLEAR WHICH ONE OF US WEARS THE PANTS

BUT ALSO NEAT

NO NO NO

DON’T SHOW THAT YOU ASSHOLES!

How we feel:

THIS IS REALLY REALLY FUNNY AND SUMS UP HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW

Thank you.

Rec’d.

I HOPE CARLOS BELTRAN GETS CARLOS BELTRAN'S DISEASE

SYMPTOMS: YOU FUCKING EXPLODE

I AM LAUGHING

AND NOW I AM THROUGH LAUGHING

THAT WAS A NICE REPRIEVE

I CONCUR

RECD

FUCKING REC'D

FUCKING REC'D

FUN FACT

LOU GEHRIG DIED OF LOU GEHRIG’S DISEASE.

SURELY THAT IS A DEFINITION OF IRONY

TELL ME, WAS IT RAINING?

ON HIS WEDDING DAY

Well bye guys

see you in two weeks

Bye Corco.

BOOM HEAD SHOT

Later Corco.

Hope you have a good two weeks. We’ll miss you. Fuck My Life. Buh bye.

How are they laughing about hyphenated names

Felix is hurt

I AM BACK ON THE SMACK

I WILL PERSONALLY KILL CARLOS BELTRAN WITH A STEAK KNIFE

I WISH NOT TO OPEN A NEW THREAD

2 MONTHS??! FUCK YOU BLOWERS

OR NOT BLOWERS WHOEVER THE FUCK THAT GUY WAS

I BET HE DELIVERED THE NEWS ALL ANNOYINGLY MONOTONE LIKE

THIS THREAD HAS MORE CAPS THAN THE ICHIRO THREAD

CARLOS BELTRAN WILL HAVE A CAP IN HIS TAN CRACKER FACE

BELTRE MUST CHANGE HIS NAME

TOO CLOSE TO BELTRAN.

SEXSON CANNOT READ WELL.

BELTRE IS IN DANGER

SEXSON WOULD TRY TO ATTACK BELTRE AND MISS

All the fucking teams I could have grown up near, and it is this one.

Fuck me, I’m so fucking done. Everyone on this pathetic team needs to cowboy up so bad it hurts.

STFU VALLE.

YOU NEVER WERE AND WILL NEVER BE AS IMPORTANT OR TALENTED AS FELIX.

I AM NO LONGER A HETEROSEXUAL

I AM WHATEVER YOU CALL SOMEBODY WHO RECEIVES SEXUAL GRATIFICATION FROM CARLOS BELTRAN BEING HUNG FROM A TREE BY A ROPE MADE OF HIS OWN NECK SKIN

NECKSEXUAL I GUESS

I HAVE REC'D THIS COMMENT AND WISH TO SEE YOU MAKE IT A REALITY

I LOVE YOU LIKE I HATE BELTRAN

THAT POST STARTED OUT PROMISING BUT ULTIMATELY PEETERED OUT.

SORRY JEFF.

MY RAGE KNOWS NO WORDS

WHAT?

IT WAS RATHER WELL VERSED FOR AN ENRAGED POST

JUST A BIT SUBPAR FOR YOUR STANDARDS. SEE WHAT I DID? A BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT.

THE ONLY PERSON HERE WHO NEEDS TO BE BACKHANDED IS CARLOS BELTRAN, AND IT NEED TO BE WITH A WEED WACKER

A FOREHAND WOULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE AND PAINFUL

DEPENDING ON WHICH SIDE OF HIS FACE/WHICH ONE OF HIS BALLS IS MORE TENDER.

SICKFUCKOPHILIA

WHY THE FUCK IS WASTE OF LIFE STILL OUR FIRST BASEMAN?

BECAUSE HE IS SO TALL

THATS TOO BIG BUT I AM NOT SORRY

This is odd.

IT S THE FACE THAT I AM MAKING

MY EYES ARE ROLLIUNG INTO THE BACK OF MY HEAD

STOP TALKING ABOUT PLANES YOU MORONS

I WANT TO FLY A PLANE INTO CARLOS BELTRAN'S FUCKING HEAD

THIS WOULD BE THE EXCEPTION TO NOT TALKING ABOUT PLANES.

ALSO YOU MAY TALK ABOUT SHOVING ORANGE STICKS INAPPROPRIATE PLACES.

THAT WOULD BE A LITTLE PLANE

A LITTLE PLANE FOR A LITTLE DUDE

THE GNOME ARMY MUST BE MOBILISED

TO ARMS BROBERT

AT THE READY CAPTIAN FUCK FACE

I WILL INGORE THIS SLUR IN ORDER TO PROMOTE UNITY IN THIS DIFFICULT HOUR

JUNE 23rd NOW NO LONGER EXISTS ON EARTH

ITS ACTUALLY A LAW

KILLING CARLOSE BELTRAN WILL BE LIKE TAKING 1321321 PILLS OF ECTASY

THAT SEEMS LIKE TOO MANY

BUT NOT ENOUGH DEATHS FOR CARLOS BELTRAN

LETHAL

But hopefully without the death bit

THIS SEASON IS A FUCKING LANDFILL

BELTRAN, I’M GONNA TWIST OFF YOUR HEAD AND SPIKE IT ONTO THE FLOORS OF A NIGHTMARE YOU CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE. I WILL DANCE WITH YOU INSIDE THE SIX SIDED RING OF FIRE.

J.W. Pezzino - June 23, 2008 reply

WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE GAME

IS THERE STILL A GAME

THIS GAME IS THE PROVERBIAL FLOOR.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO SUCH FLOOR EXISTS NOR HAS IT EVER EXISTED NOR WILL IT EVER EXIST

HEY WELL HOPING THAT IT'S A GRADE ONE AND AT MOST HE MISSES JUST ONE START

LET’S STILL CELEBRATE THE AWESOME GRAND SLAM.

GRAND SLAM GRAND SLAM GRAND SLAM GRAND SLAM GRAND SLAM GRAND SLAM

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT DO YOU KNOW WHAT HIS NEXT START WAS?

YEAH THATS RIGHT, LL DAY AGAINST PEAVY FUCK YOU BELTRAN ILL RIP YOUR GOD DAMN HEAD OFF AND FEED IT TO SOME BUMS

I KNOW IT WAS GOING TO BE THE BEST GAME OF THE YEAR THAT WASN'T FELIX OWNING JOHAN

YEAH AND I WAS GOING TO BE AT THE FUCKING GAME

FLKASDLKJLSFADLKJF KJLWJKFJJWLJLF3JL4J LJ3L4 34 34T 3RQFG Q34T45 875 E5KL T;LE45

THAT IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW

I THINK SOME JEERING OF BELTRAN IS IN ORDER COME SUNDAY

LET'S JUST HUNT HIM DOWN ON SUNDAY INSTEAD OF GOING TO THEG AME

I THINK THAT WOULD BE FAR

IT'S WORTH IT FOR FELIX

YOU KNOW BLACKFACE

DO THEY MAKE TANFACE I WANT TO BE FELIX TOMORROW

WHY NOT JUST DO IT TONIGHT WHILE YOU SLEEP IN YOUR FELIX JERSEY

THEN YOU CAN BE FELIX TONIGHT AND TOMORROW

FUCK YOUR FACE BOY

JUST THINK OF THE GRAND SLAM THAT WAS STILL FUCKING AWESOME

THE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS WAS OUT OF ORDER

COCO CRISPS CRAZY FACE IS LITTLE CONSOLATION

SOMEBODY IS GOING TO ASK CARLOS BELTRANS SON WHERE I TOUCHED HIM WITH MY FOOT

FICK YOU GO GET BANNED

WHAT THE HELL IT'S SO BAD SYLAR SHOWED UP?

LETS HOPE YOUR SHITTY TEAM WINS TEH GAME

THE OUTCOME IS IRRELEVENT

I FOR ONE WELCOME OUR NEW FELIX OVERLORD

FUCK THIS TEAM

THERE IS ONLY FELIX

WHO INVITED YOU??

You just joined today.

LOLOLOLOL

I'M ONE OF THOSE LURKERS.

AND PLEASE DON’T UNDERMINE MY POINT ON THIS THE DAY OF MY SEPPUKU.

Somehow, By Some Sequence of Circumstances...

This is all Bavasi’s fault.

Let’s hunt down Bavasi!

TroutMask - June 23, 2008 reply

NO FUCK THAT KILL BELTRAN

FORCE BAVASI TO KILL BELTRAN SO HE TAKES THE FALL

THAT WORKS PERFECTLY

NO, KILL BELTRAN OURSELVES, TO ENJOY IT, AND THEN FRAME BAVASI

EVEN BETTER

FRAME LINCOLN

KILL LINCOLN

I TAKE A BRANCH FROM THE TREE AND BURN BELTRANS FACE

I AM GOING TO SLEEP IN MY FELIX JERSEY AND NOTHING ELSE

IT BRINGS ME CLOSER TO FELIX AND FELIX NEEDS HIS FRIENDS AND LOVERS RIGHT NOW

OH GOD THIS MADE ME LAUGH WAY TOO MUCH AT THIS POINT.

STOP BUYING FUCKING MEMOBILA YOU CUNT

THEY DON'T MAKE CAIRO JERSEYS

IF I CAN COUSTOME MAKE A BOCOCK JERSEY ANYTHING IS PoSSIBLE

THEN RESTRAIN YOURSELF YOU IMPUSIVE COUNCH

I AM GOING TO BUY BELTRE NEXT AHAHA FUCK YOU AND FUCK EVERYBODY

BUT ESPECIALLY FUCK THE MAN. STEAL HIM FROM LOPEZ.

FUCK LOPEZ FOR NOT PROTECTING FELXI

HE'S CERTAINLY BIG ENOUGH

FATTY MCFAT FAT

I WILL USE HIS WOMEN AS PIILLOWS TO CRY ON

IT WASN'T LOPEZ'S FAULT NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

IT WAS JOSH BROWN’S FAULT

JOSH BROWN LEFT BECAUSE HE TRIED TO STOP THIS AND FELIX DIDNT LISTEN

HE COULDNT BEAR TO SEE IT HAPPEN

SO HE PUNISHED HIMSELF BY SIGNING WITH THE RAMS

HE IS LIKELY CRYING RIGHT NOW

YES HE IS IN FACT IS

YOU'RE YELLING AT YOURSELF NOW

DONT BLAME FELIX FOR THIS WHATS WRONG WITH YOU

LETS JUST KILL BELTRAN INSTEAD AND IT WILL ALL BE OK

KI WILL USE YOUR CHILDREN AS TOPPING FOR MY BELTRAN TACO

I SLEEP IN MY BEST JIM EDMONDS SHIRT FOR THE SAME REASON

i'm wearing his t-shirt too...

pray people, pray…

wwbaker3 - June 23, 2008 reply

FUCK ANYBODY THAT HAS BEEN IN RECENT CONTACT WITH FELIX AND NOT WARNED HIM TO WATCH OUT FOR HIS ANKLE

I TRIED TO PROTECT HIS ARM!!

CURSE ME

FUCK CURSING YOU

YOU NEED A PROPER FUCKING

BUT A BAD ONE LIKE BELTRAN WILL RECEIVE

COUNTLESS APOLOGIES I DIDN'T KNOW

I DIDN’T KNOW

I ATE A HAMBURGER, AND AS IT WAS COOKING, I COULD SEE THE BLOOD AND I PRETENDED

THAT IT WAS THE BLOOD OF CARLOS BELTRAN. AND I LAUGHED!

WHY IS THIS GRILL NOT ON BELTRANS ASS

HOW THE HELL IS FERNANDO TATIS STILL IN THE FUCKING LEAGUE?

HE HIT 2 GRAND SLAMS IN ONE INNING!

BUT NONE WERE OFF OF JOHAN SANTANA!

HES THE ONE WHO LIKES ALL THOSE PRETTY SONGS

NIRVANA REFERENCES WILL ALWAYS GET A REC, EVEN WHEN I AM FURIOUS

I THINK I MAY BE COOLING OFF

SO AM I. GODDAMNIT I WANT TO REMAIN ANGRY!

YOU GUYS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE ANDD FEED OFF ME BECAUSE I JUST FOUND OUT HALF AN HOUR AGO

I THINK I MAY BE TOO

THOUGH I AM STILL QUITE ANGRY THOUGH JUST NOT AS MUCH AS BEFORE

AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB

IT WOULD HAVE BBEEN FUNNIER IF IT WAS THIS MONDAY WAS TEH ONE YOU WERE FLYING HOME ON

THAT WOULD BE FINE BECAUSE I WOULDN'T HAVE SEEN IT YET

YOUR RANGE OF EMOTIONS WOULD HAVE BEEN SPEED UP

IT WOULD BE LIKE YOUR GOING AT 88 MPH

YOU COULD HAVE GONE BACK AND STOPPED THIS

YOU FUCK

MY BRAIN ALREADY WORKS INFINITELY FASTER THAN YOUR GNOMISH MIND CAN COMPREHEND

FUCK

WHY DON'T YOU MAKE LIKE A TREE

AND GET OUT OF HERE

I'M PRETTY SURE YOU DID THAT WRONG

HELLO MCFLY

I SET FIRE TO THAT FUCKING TREE

IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING

WHY WASNT THAT CALLED OUT

YANKEES REFEREES MUST HAVE A VIRUS

OH WAIT

THAT WAS THE MARINERS BY BAD

Don't you ever show this again

It'll be funny in a few months.

No it wont

THIS WILL NEVER BE FUNNY >:(

9/11 and the Rhodes homer have become funny

THEREFORE I HAVE HOPE FOR THIS

RHODES HOMER STILL NOT FUNNY

IT’S ROBERTS REACTION TO IT THAT IS FUNNY.

9/11 WAS ALWAYS HILARIOUS

ONLY WHEN FELIX COMES BACK AND PITCHES A PERFECT GAME AGAINST THE METS, UP UNTIL THE LAST OUT IN THE 9TH, WHEREUPON HE THROWS THE BALL AT BELTRAN'S HEAD AND IT EXPLODES.

THEN I WILL LAUGH.

GO TO HELL

Doesn't look so bad on replay

Felix’s foot doesn’t get caught in the dirt. It looks like the injury might have occurred after the initial hit. If so, I’d expect it to be less severe since most of the energy of the collision has been spent.

That said, DIE CARLOS BELTRAN!

PDXTai - June 23, 2008 reply

GOOD THING YOU USED CAPS AT THE END.

EASIEST WAY TO TELL A REAL FAN FROM AN INFILTRATOR

SORRY. SUFFERED FROM TEMPORARY SANITY.

IT’S GONE NOW.

PDXTai - June 23, 2008 reply

HEY GUYS

I FOUND A CARLOS BELTRAN ON MY NECK AND I THINK IT MIGHT BE MALIGNANT.

AND THERES BLOOD IN MY CARLOS BELTRAN TOO.

KILL IT NOW KILL KILKIKKLILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

YOU ARE

CARE TO FINISH THIS?

NO WHY WOULD HE

BECAUSE FUCK THAT'S WHY

I FINALLY USED IT RIGHT YOU FUCKS

THE SUN

YOU ARE THE RAIN [DUN DUNDUNDUN DUN]
THAT MAKES MY LIFE THIS FOOLISH GAME

THIS THREAD READS LIKE A SPIKE LEE JOINT

IF YOU OPERATE UNDER THE CONDITIONS THAT WE'RE ALL INCREDIBLY WHITE

I THOUGHT YOU MEANT MARIJUANA CIGARETTE

I COULD USE LIKE SIX OF THOSE RIGHT NOW

Mari-ju-ana is bad

mmkay?

ITS BAD

IF YOURE TRIPPING ON ACID

FUCK YOU THE WHITE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS KEEPING ME BACK

THIS IS SO UPSETTING I'M LISTENING TO CHRIS BROWN - FOREVER SO I'LL FEEL SOMEWHAT BETTER

I CANNOT RUN IT AND I MOST CERTAINLY CANNOT RUN IT UNDER THE PRESENT CONDITIONS

I DID RUN IT ONCE BUT IT WAS A FLUKE

IN MY NEXT MORNING NO LONGER AS EMOTIONAL STATE I REALIZE HOW FUNNY THIS COMMENT IS

AND THUS DULY REC’D

seattlebruin - June 24, 2008 reply

So my brother was just trying to get on my nerves by saying Felix sucked for giving up a run.

I warned him that I was going to punch him if he kept it up. He kept it up, so as soon as he turned around, I got a running start and sucker punched him in the kidney. Then he started crying, but he deserved it, so fuck him.

YOUR BROTHER NEEDS STRONGER ABS

KIDNEYS ARE IN THE BACK

OH

HAHHAHAHAAHAHA

NOW THE LIVER IS THE BEST PLACE TO PUNCH SOMEONE

AND IT IS ON THE SIDE KIND OF IN THE FRONT! I HIT PEOPLE IN THE LIVER EVERY DAY WHEN I SPAR. I’M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE AT THE GYM TODAY.

MINE WOULD BE A HUGE TARGET

I HOPE YOUR BROTHER...

IS A TODDLER. THAT WOULD MAKE THE STORY EVEN BETTER.

No, he's Butthol's age

IS IT BUTTHOL

PROBALLY NOT

THOUGH YOU NEVER KNOW

Physical pain shouldn't make you cry once you reach butthol's age

unless you’re marshmallow soft

It wasn't really crying, but it was close enough.

YOU SHOULD PUNCH PEOPLE IN THE FUCKING FACE LIKE I DO TO PROTECT FELIXS NAME

JI/ROBERT 08 OPERATES ON A STRICT ANTI BELTRAN PLATFORM

Can we get him deported from the People's Republic of Washington?

I AM TOO UPSET TO USE PAINT

I TRY TO PAINT BELTRAN BUT I GO OVER BOARD WITH THE RED SPRAYPAINT BUTTON AND MY PICTURE IS RUINED

I HAVE RUINED COUNTLESS PICTURES OF FELIX

I MADE COUNTLESS GIFS OF BELTRANS FAILURE AT A MOST CRTICAL POINT

If anyone is running out of fuel

I can troll for a while to re-provoke your righteous wrath

I DON'T EVER WANT TO HATE YOU

For example

It could be worse you guys. I just traded Nate McLouth for Felix in my fantasy league. I was laughing all the way to the bank until a half hour ago.

AI AI AI AI AI AI AIEEEEEE

I STILL DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FANTASY TEAM

I HOPE IT’S VIDROPHILIC

OPEN A NEW THREAD

SO I CAN POST THE FIDDLE CAT GIFS

DON'T YOU DARE COUNT THE FUCKING CHICKENS BEFORE THEY HATCH ASSHOLE

NOBODY CARES ABOUT JIM RIGGLEMANS POSTGAME COMMENTS

UNLESS BY COMMENT THEY MEAN PUERTO RICO GETS NUKED BY EVERYONE

Someone get Marty to go back in time and get Tsar Bomba

SMOKE SOME GREEN

HAY FELLOWS I JUST GOT HOME

WHAT THE FUCK

I ADVISE TURNING THE COMPUTER OFF REALLY FAST AND LEAVING

I CAN'T UNSEE THE GIFS

WELCOME TO THE 9TH LEVEL OF HELL MOTHERFUCKER

I PISS ON YOU SATAN

I JUST GARGLED YOURS AND SATANS PISS

AND IT TASTES BETTER THAN THIS FUCKING DOES

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DRANK MILLER LITE

Checking in again after being away

I’m sure this has been discussed to death, but whatever:

I had a severe ankle sprain in basic (basically sprained the same ankle twice in 3 days) and it was so paintful I couldn’t put any wait whatsoever on that foot for the first day. I was on crutches for two more days and wore a boot for a while, followed by a good amount of physical therapy. I was able to complete a 10 and 12 mile road march within the next two and three weeks respectively (albeit with pain) and was able to run the 2-mile for the APFT within a month with no pain. I’m sure Felix will get better care than I did and a better more advanced brace. I’d bet no more than 3-4 weeks at the very most with 0 lasting effects assuming it is in fact a sprain.

*weight

You had crutches in basic training?

Fag.

Go home and die.

I had a profile in basic training for a weekend that said I had to be near a latrine

shits so bad

Wow I have never heard of anything like that before

Sounds like golden material for drill sergeants.

Actually the gayest profile I heard of was a "no being yelled at profile"

I forget the reason but there really shouldn’t be a good one.

That doesn't seem to make sense to me unless the person was already being separated from service

I think it was a temporary problem with his ears or something

As if they didn't have enough for a rail-thin 6'6" pasty ass vegetarian white kid from Idaho going into MI

Fair enough

GOOD THING FOR THE ALL STAR BREAK

GOOD TRY, THROW IT FARTHER INSIDE!

HES PRACTICING FOR BELTRAN

Wait two more batters

SEAN GREEN YOU RACIST SONOFABITCH

I LOVE YOU

I WILL CRY BECAUSE I STILL HAVE NEVER EVER SEEN FELIX LIVE

THIS WAS GOING TO BE MY FIRST CHANCE FUCK YOU CARLOS BELTRAN IM GOING TO KILL YOU

I SAW HIM LIVE

HE BEAT THE DEVIL RAYS :(

NOR I.

LAST YEAR I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING FELIX, I GOT JAKE WOODS. LAUGH IT UP, YEAH YEAH YEAH. WOODS STILL PITCHED A HELLUVA GAME THOUGH, IF ANY CREDIT IS DUE.

OH YEAH, I WENT TO THREE GAMES LAST YEAR AND GOT JEFF WEAVER ALL THREE TIMES

AND THIS YEAR I GOT BATISTA AND WASHBURN AND ON FRIDAY IM GETTING PEDOPHILE AGAIN AND NOW IM NOT GETTING FELIX ON SUNDAY FUCK THIS IF ITS BATISTA IM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE

CURSE YOUR FASTBALL FOR TAILING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION

GOD DAMNIT, THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DP

NON-DP MAKES BELTRAN APPERANCE MORE LIKELY

HIT DAVID WRIGHT AND BELTRAN

LET BELTRE PITCH TO BELTRAN'S FACE

LOPEZ THROWS LIKE A PUSSY WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT FELIX

GREEN LOOKES SOMEWHAT GREASY

HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE WHO SHOULD BEAN CARLOS BELTRAN IN THE FACETICLES

APPARATENTLY THERE ARE SEAHAWKS GARDEN GNOMES

THANKS LIFE

I hate life.

Fuck this season.

HIT BELTRAN I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE SCORE

HIT BELTRAN IN THE FACE. I DON'T CARE IF IT LOADS THE BASES. KILL HIM DEAD!

GAMECAST IS BROKEN

U WIN YET

NO, BELTRAN IS UP SO WE'RE GONNA KILL HIM

BRB

SMOKIN SOME GREEN

SHAWN GREEN

DON'T JINX IT YOU ASSHOLE

AIM FOR THE FACE AND THE BALLS

GREEN'S BEARD IS BETTER THAN HIS GOATEE HIS GOATEE WAS STUPID

SIDEARM HEATER AT THE KNEE

RIGHT AT THE KNEECAP

3 MORE INCHES TO THE LEFT!

BEAN HIS EYES

HIS EYES
BEAN THEM

3 MORE INCHES TO THE LEFT!

PLEASE BEAM HIM

IF YOU GO 3-0 JUST HIT HIM WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE

WOULD IT BE WORTH IT TO PUT THE GAME AT RISK TO HIT HIM IN THE NUTS?

YES.

YES IT WOULD.

FUCK YOU BELTRAN

FUCK YOU GREEN

THAT IS EXACTLY NOT WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

OH MY GOD

I JUST BROKE

IF A METS PITCHER HITS A GRAND SLAM I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF.

Go Mets Go

kentroyals5 - June 23, 2008 reply

THE ANGER IS BACK! THE ANGER IS BACK!

SING THE SONG THAT ENDS THE WORLD! DIE BELTRAN DIIIIIEEEEEE!

TIME TO KILLSELF

DONT YOU CALL BELTRAN BELTRE DAVE SIMS

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS ANIMATED DEPICTION OF CARLOS BELTRAN

THIS IS ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE FOR THIS MOMENT FUCK THIS ISN'T WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPN

BELTRAN DOES NOT DESERVE TO GET ANOTHER HIT IN HIS LIFE

IF YOU ARE BEING TAKEN OUT CHARGE FIRST BASE AND BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF CARLOS BELTRAN. BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH YOUR BARE HANDS

SHUTUP METS ANNOUNCERS

A WALK IS NOT AS GOOD AS A HOMERUN AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO WIN

MAY RATS HAVE SEX WITH YOUR BODY

Sean Green sucks

HOW WAS THAT BETTER THAN HITTING HIM YOU FUCK

SOMEONE LIVEBLOG THIS SHIT

ESPN IS STUPID AND NOT WORKING

BELTRAN BASE HIT, RUN SCORES. 5-2 M'S WITH TWO OUT AND DELGADO AT THE PLATE

YOU GUYS SUCK

I REALLY WANT TO POST TEH GIFS

NO GIFS TODAY TOO SAD AND ANGRY

I GOT SPECIAL GIFS

JUST 4 U

one out

OH GREAT

OH FUCK PLEASE DON'T BRING IN BATISTA

PLEASE DO THEN MAYBE HE WONT PITCH ON SUNDAY AND CAUSE ME TO KILL MYSELF

HIT HIM WITH A PICKOFF THROW

I really wish the Mets had Val Pascucci for just this spot.

But I guess having a third catcher with a career minor league OPS under .700 is more important.

THIS COMMENT CONTAINS NO ALL CAPS WORDS

VAL PASCUCCI IS AAA GARBAGE WHO COULDN'T TAKE HORAM DEEP

OH GOODIE RHODES GETS TO BURY THIS MISERABLE PIECE OF SHIT DAY

AWEOSOME

I left for a while to go throw up repeatedly.

Any further word on Felix?

HEY RICHIE, IF YOU SMACK BELTRAN WITH YOUR HELMET, I WOULD BE OPEN TO THE POSSIBLITY OF NOT KILLING YOU!

CAIRO IS IN

STATEMENT STILL STANDS

THERE ARE MORE THAN 800 WILDFIRES CURRENTLY BURNING IN CALIFORNIA

MAY CARLOS BELTRAN SOON FIND HIMSELF IN ONE OR SEVERAL

WE SHOULD THROW HIM IN THE TOP OF ONE OF THOSE REALLY TALL TREES AND THEN BURN IT DOWN SO HE CAN THINK ABOUT WHAT HE DID WHILE HE PLUMMETS TOWARDS THE EARTH IN FLAMES

I REFUSE TO LET GRAVITY AND FIRE DO THE LORD'S WORK

SO WE'RE JUST GOING TO WAIT FOR FELIX TO COME BACK AND DO HIS OWN WORK?

WHAT KIND OF DISCIPLES ARE WE?

THE LORD'S WORK MAY BE DONE BY US

FINE WE'LL JUST TOSS HIM OFF THE DAMN TREE TOWARDS MANY SPIKES MADE OF SNICKERS BARS

IN WHICH HE WILL DROWN IN CHOCOLATE

THIS IS A MELTDOWN

I WAS HOpING SoME ONE WOULd RAPE BELTRAN WITH A BROKEN MAPLE BAT

PERHAPS ONE OF YUNIS

YES YES YES

RHODES CLOSING AWESOME

THIS HAS ALWAYS WORKED OUT WELL FORM E

EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS AND THEN GIVE BELTRAN THE CLAP.

THE CLAP ON HIS FACE

REC'D FOR PROMOTING TEABAGGING

RADFSKJ/F;LK;LDFAS;L sk;ldfk;lk;ldfk;ladfs;

NICE SLOW BAT YOU TERRORIST

ZOMG NO POLITICS EXCEPT DELGADO IS A FUCKING TERRORIST, FUCK HIM.

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

Give Beltran the CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

THAT WAS A REALLY WEIRD SWING

MHY STEADYING STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS HAS BEEN EXHAUSTED

ELECTRICUTE BELTRAN'S NIPPLES

BRIANL'S RAGE IS NOW DISTRIBUTED

MY RAGE IS ALREADY FUCKING DISTRIBUTED

IS THERE AT LEAST A GIF OF FELIX HITTING THE MOTHERFUCKING SLAM?

YES LEARN TO READ THE OTHER THREADS

DO YOU BLAME ME FOR NOT WANTING TO READ MORE ABOUT THIS COATHANGER GAME?

IT WAS AT ONE POINT THE OPPOSITE OF A COATHANGER

YES WE MUST ALL SUFFER TOGETHER

ABORTION

BEFORE THE 5TH THIS WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST GAMES IN HISTORY

IT'S LIKE WATCHING SCHINDLERS LIST THOUGH

HOW CAN YOU ENJOY THE COMEDIC FIRST HALF WHEN YOU KNOW HOW IT ENDS?

Yes.

THERE IS

YES POSTED AT LEAST TWICE

YES WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

WAS THE M'S TV ANNOUNCER FEED SUITABLY AWESTRUCK AT IT?

THE METS TV FEED WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY DECENT, BUT I WANT MORE.

I think a waterboarding is in order for Beltran.

ZOMG NO LIGHT TORTURE

AMERICA! FUCK YEAH

DAVID JUSTICE SHOULD UN RETIRE RIGHT NOW

I WOULD SMILE AND LAUGH

AND THEN WE WOULD GO KILLFEST ON BELTRAN

AND MY SMILE WOUDL BE SIGNIFAGANTLY LARGER

HAHA WHAT

SOMEONE SAY WHEN U WIN

BECAUSE I WONT KNOW WHEN TO POST TEH GIFS

MURDER DEATH DIE MURDER DEATH DIE

In case you didn't see it

Here’s what Felix looked like when he threw his warm up pitch.

GO TO FUCKING HELL

DIE YOU BASTARD

DIE

I AM PERTURBED

Why don't you just strap yourself with beef and climb into a Lion's cage?

BAHHAHAAH, sad

kentroyals5 - June 23, 2008 reply

THESE ARE NOT 1337 PHOTOSHO SKILLZ

I LAUGHED LIKE A BASTARD.

Flagged for you should know better

next time use the clone feature

it helps smooth mimick the background

anaheim angels - June 23, 2008 reply

MIGUEL CAIRO SHOULD PICK UP BELTRAN BY THE LEGS AND SWING HIM AROUND LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES

ALTHOUGH WHO SWINGS AROUND SACKS OF POTATOES

ERIC O'FLAREITY'S GIRLFRIEND

RAWR

I DONT FUCKING CARE IF YOU THINK WATCH BATTERIES ARE EXPENSIVE

THE MARINERS WIN BUT WE ALL LOSE

FELIX WILL RETURN, ANGRIER THAN EVER.

YUP

Schuxu - June 23, 2008 reply

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

STAB

As the creator of that gif I can safely say now is not the time

NO ONE CARES ABOUT A MEANINGLESS WIN

Please don't be out for too long, Felix

SYLAR, THE GIFS ARE A GO! THE GIFS ARE A GO!

GET THE FIDDLECAT READY

NO NO NO

NOT A FIDDLECAT DAY

THIS IS THE WORST WIN I'VE EVER WATCHED

I BLAME YOU BELTRAN AND I BLAME YOU CLEMENT

I blame Clement 100%

here u go

Hey guess what, the Mariners won!

No honestly, the Mariners won!

We must savor this moment!

A rock concert in honor of this glorious day!

Rainbows! Lots of Rainbows!

Glorious fiddle cat, play me a tune, for it’s the first time the Mariners actually won a decent game in June!

EXCEPT FOR THE DECENT GAME PART

WHICH I FORGOT TO EDIT OUT

I TOLD YOU NOT TO

SAVOR THE MOMENT

FOR IT WILL BE THE LAST FOR A LONG TIME

Not your fault, Sylar.

This win feels awful.

KUMATE! KUMATE!

AND NOW WE HAVE LOST GROUND IN THE RACE FOR STRASBERG

WHAT A BANNER DAY

YOU DIDN'T EVEN SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT

I don't even really want to see Fiddlecat right now, that's how bad it feels.

BITTERSWEET

TIME TO GET IN A CAR

I AM IN THE PROPER STATE OF MIND TO OPERATE VEHICLES

HIGHWAY STAR

AT LEAST IT'S STILL NICE OUTSIDE

IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS

NOT IN NEW ENGLAND

IF I WERE STILL IN HARTFORD I COULD MURDER PEOPLE IN A RAGE AND NO ONE WOULD CARE OR NOTICE

WHITE POWAH

STOP TALKING LIKE A INJUN

RUN TO THE HILLS

RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIVVVEEEESSSS!

ENJOY PEAVY VS. FEIRABEND ON SUNDAY

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK

YOU MEAN BATISTA

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK

YOU MEAN JARED WELLS

FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCKS

JOE WOERMAN

HE’LL GET PULLED IN THE 2ND AFTER 9 HITS AND 7 WALKS

BATISTA'S PITCHING TOMORROW, I BELIEVE.

MIGHT AS WELL PITCH THE FUCKER EVERY DAY

BECAUSE FUCK US THATS WHY

I HOPE BATISTA BREAKS

WAIT, SO THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY WORK

SHITTY.

YOU MEAN WASHBURN AND BATISTA'S BUTT BABY

NOTE TO SELF, DON’T GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH BUTT BABY

UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES WOULD YOU EVER GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH BUTT BABY

TRYING TO FIND THE TENACIOUS D BUTT BABY

THAT WAS A GOOD SKIT

FUCK YOU

I WILL NOT BE A QUIET MAN

IF JEFF WAS CARLOS BELTRAN I WOULD TEST MY UNBANNABILTY BY ATTEMPTING TO RAPE HIS MOTHER

THIS WAS THE BEST AND WORST GAME EVER!

I DID NOT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE. WHY HAVE I NOT LEARNED YET?

According to Jeffie, there's not a lot of swelling in Felix's ankle.

Whatever that means.

it haapend like 2 hours ago of course hes fine

WHAT THE FUCK NOT ENOUGH ANGER

HE'S JUST TAKING PRESSURE OFF HIMSELF.

FUCK IT DOESN'T MATTER WE'RE ROBBED OF FELIX VS. PEAVY

ME ESPECIALLY

AND ME

AND I

WEEP

CRY

MURDER

please say somebody got a screen cap

of the goofy looking mariners fan with the purple hat right before rhodes struck out easley to end the game, because that guy is now my hero, with that being said back to plotting out my suicide.

CstSnow - June 23, 2008 reply

GOD DAMMIT SPELL RIGHT AND USE YOUR FUCKING SHIFT KEY

I’M NOT GOING TO POST THE FRIENDLY LITTLE PICTURE, USE PROPER PUNCTUATION

Okay....

First of all I don’t believe i spelled anything incorrectly, and sorry for not using proper punctuation it wasnt exactly what I was worrying about.

CstSnow - June 23, 2008 reply

At least RRS got the win...

This will be Beltran

Too much?

Its actually just makeup

NOT ENOUGH

Someone get a picture from Scarface of a car with some dude's brains all over a side window

Or the similar picture from Pulp Fiction where Marvin’s brains end up all over Jules and Vincent’s rear window.

Orlando Rays - June 24, 2008 reply

HOLY SHIT WHAT

I AM GOING TO PLAY COMMAND AND CONQUER 3:KANE'S WRATH AND I AM GOING TO PRETEND

THAT THE GDI AND ARE MADE OF CARLOS BELTRANS, AND THEN I AM GOING TO KILL THEM ALL WITH THE REDEEMER, BECAUSE THE REDEEMER SAYS DIE!

THIS IS MY LAST ALL CAPS POST.

FELIX HERNANDEZ HIT A GRAND SLAM OFF OF JOHAN SANTANA.

I MUST GO NOW TO BOXING CLASS AND PUMMEL PEOPLE'S FACES IN

LEARN WHAT THE FUCK IRONY IS YOU BITCH

END YOUR SELF DAN WILSON

YOU GUYS SUCK

MORE THAN EDWIN JACKSON

EDWIN JACKSON IS BETTER THAN 3/5THS OF OUR ROTATION

CASEY FOSSUM IS BETTER THAN YOUR WHOLE TEAM

TOO SOON?

HE WAS SLIDING FOR HIS ANKLE

THANKS FOR POSTING THAT BTW, THIS TEAM IS GREAT TO WATCH THIS YEAR

STILL NO EXCUSE FOR SUCKING

Oh shit. I think EnglishMariner was at this game.

Jesus Christ, he might be shanking Beltran as we speak.

I WANT TO HAVE ANGRY SEX RIGHT NOW

...Dude

BRETT SAYS "LATER" AND "DON'T REVEAL OUR PLANS ON LL"

Sex cannot cure pain like this.

WHAT A WONDERFUL IMAGE

JI AND ROBERTS SCREAMING AND PUNCHING EACH OTHER MID FROT

HIS BEARD WOULD SCRACTCH MY KNUCKLES

EW EW EW

STOP WITH ALL THIS CRAP

GIVE US A FELIX UPDATE MENTINK

Jeff, it sounds like Hyphen will be taking Felix's spot on Sunday.

Small consolation, I know.

HOW'S HE GOING TO FOCUS WITH JEFF IN THE STANDS?

HE’LL PROBABLY GET ALL EMOTIONAL THAT JEFF IS THERE AND RUN UP INTO THE STANDS FOR HIM ISNTEAD OF PITCHING

Is that so?

The FSN crew seemed to be alluding to that.

Huh.

He’s no Felix, but RRS would definitely qualify as a small consolation.

Oh come on, I don't want to see a fucking tour of Shea stadium.

Where’s my fucking Felix update?

Fucking Felix update:

Minute 1: about to begin
Minute 15: sweet sweet foreplay
Minute 90:
Minute 833: good golly miss molly

You would be so sore.

Oh c'mon it's not that bad

Just a sprained ankle. Felix will be back in no time. I’ve had sprained ankle’s, no big deal.

We are going to 9/11 Shea Stadium.

OK

So, who do you nominate to be the sacrificial lambs, so to speak? Someone has to fly the planes in there.

You cannot nominate me.

Your family

REC'D

My family would fly a plane into your families house

And miss, hilariously killing themselves

YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR FAMILY SINCE YOUR ONLY FRIEND IS DEAD

It wasn't my friend

and go fuck yourself, to boot.

ANGRILY

Not too angrily

These people want to kill things when Felix gets a hangnail.

Padded walls man, padded walls.

Someone needs to gif the marinator-gets-owned version of 9/11

Long-term wasn't the worry

this was going to be the most magical Felix Day of all time.

sorry to hear about feliz…..that was no bueno

norcaliangelsfan - June 23, 2008 reply

my bad y0

norcaliangelsfan - June 23, 2008 reply

Spell right, use proper punctuation.

Thank you.

I’m too angry to pull out the shift-key.jpeg today.

Casey Kotchman

NO BUENO

MY LIFE IS A RUBIX CUBE OF HATE

X-rays negative, "slight sprain"

says Riggleman. Felix is adamant, and the trainer agrees, that he won’t miss his next start.

yes yes yes