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Lookout Landing

Series Preview: Seattle Mariners @ San Diego Padres

Seattle: 28-50
Padres: 32-47

GAMES

Game 1: Jarrod Washburn vs Randy Wolf*
Game 2: Carlos Silva vs Cha Seung Baek
Game 3: Somebody vs Jake Peavy

Randy Wolf is posting the highest strikeout rate of his recent career while lowering his walk rate from 2007 while tossing more innings than every pitcher on the Mariners aside from Felix Hernandez. Randy Wolf was signed on a one-year deal for under $5 million guaranteed. Too bad nobody thought of that last winter.

The results don't show it, but Chasizzle has done himself quite well in San Diego so far with a fantastic 3.24 tRA in the rotation and a 2.84 FIP. This team gave him away for nothing because they saw more value in Miguel Batista. Incredible. I'm glad this team fired Bavasi before he traded Adrian Beltre to Baltimore for Melvin Mora citing Mora's higher RBI totals as proof that he performs in the clutch.

Everyone has fluke performances, it's not limited to just average or worse pitchers. In fact, there's really no one true dominant pitcher out there anymore who is far and away above everyone else like Pedro was a decade ago or Johan was a few years ago. To that end, take someone like Jake Peavy. Peavy is legitimately awesome, one of the best pitchers in baseball, but his 2007 was flukey just like Washburn's 2005 and this season has seen his core stats return to their established levels. That still leaves him a fantastic pitcher, just not the dominant one he was last season.

Star-divide

Likely Starters:
C Michael Barrett/Josh Bard^
1 Adrian Gonzalez*
2 Edgar Gonzalez
3 Kevin Kouzmanoff
S Khalil Greene
L Scott Hairston
C Jody Gerut*
R Brian Giles*

With Manbeast Gonzalez this is a decent lineup. They were terrible but have, gasp, made changes to rectify some of that. They are getting decent offense from Jody Gerut and Edgar Gonzalez and Brian Giles somehow still manages to produce. There's also Chase Headley(!) and overall they're running a 96 OPS+ after starting the year with a team OPS of .633 as of May 1st. They're still not scoring runs, but they're getting closer to that general area.

CONTEXT

Make no mistake of it, not only is San Diego our heated natural rivals, inflamed by our shared Spring Training complex during which I'm sure the Padres play overly cruel practical jokes on the hapless and bewildered Mariner players, but they are also one of our main rivals for Stephen Strasburg.

He's their hometown boy, their Tim Lincecum (ARGH!!!!!!!) and they surely won't (ARGH!!!!!!!!) make the mistake (ARGH!!!!!!!!) or passing him over (ARGH!!!!!) given the chance. Let's not give them a chance! Let's step up this series and say "Not this time! Not here! Not now!" Let's let them know who's winning this thing and it's going to be us! Let's get out there and get swept! Yeah! On 3!

One

Two

Three

SWEEP US!!

THIS SERIES BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

Stone Brewing. Escondido, CA

Stone doesn't make a bad brew and it would be impossible to pick any single one to highlight, so here you go. Every single one of these deserves your attention.

4 recs  |  313 comments

Comments

Stone Brewing is located in Escondido?

interesting…

You make me sad that you didn't know this already.
I don
't pay attention to where my beer comes from most of the time =(
I think mine comes from St. Louis.
Good heavens
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
Yea the Padres are a bunch of winners

They’re going to cream the Mariners, they are going to take them down.

(South Park reference).

I'd like to win on Sunday.

I’m okay with losing, even tomorrow, when I have good tix…

I like Arrogant Bastard.

Their other beers are meh.

To the penalty box with you
I was just posting a link and that new white box popped up and for a sec I thought I had gotten penalty boxed
That's...I don't know how to....what?
Yeah, I dunno what it is.

Then again, I had the IPA and the porter in the same sitting, and came away unimpressed. Maybe the bar had bad batches of both. Should I try again?

Yes, definitely.

And while their ‘regular’ beers are good, my affection for Stone is based upon my love for stuff like Ruination, the Imperial Stout, Oaked AB, etc. You’ve got to try the specialty stuff to fully appreciate it.

Who's Tim Lincecum?

He sounds like he’s pretty good.

His mechanics are awul.

He’ll get injured soon. No need to risk it.

I thinka that ithsi is a graham bait so screw you acblue
Drunk Graham?

If so, Christmas come early…

Uh oh. Graham has gotten into the gin again.
not gin had a graduateon dinnenr with in hall with some fuskcing delicious wine
Steroids are the same thing as HGH
hahaha graham bating is a 34 day penalty voxeding
You should penalty box Jeff, it'll be hilarious.
Speaking of delicious wine

I’m rather fond of the 2004 Heron Pinot Noir, after about half a bottle.

...huh.

Did anyone else notice something odd in Mark Lowe’s AB two days ago?

He was batting left handed.

He throws right, bats left.

I can’t remember off the top of my head who it is, but his childhood hero was a lefty, so that’s how he learned to hit.

Oak-aged Arrogant Bastard on tap

Heaven.

Ruination and the Imperial Stout are nice and extreme too. Love for Stone.

Also, this series is lame without Felix v. Peavy. Boo.

Ruination and the Imperial Russian are pretty much my two favorite beers ever.
Studes picked up on our game thread wackiness.

From his post here.

I will say, I don’t think “NSFW” does that thread justice. That thing is not safe for anyone ever unless you know us.

Ahahaha he linked to the gamethread!

That’s awesome.

So THAT was the spikes made of Snickers bars gamethread...
That gamethread gets more and more hilarious with each time I read it.
Ummm.. is it bad that I don't remember some of the threats I made towards Carlos Beltran during that thread?
It's probably for the best.
I'd say it's probably for the best.
I GO AT MY OWN PACE
Which is unfortunately slower than everyone else's
IT USUALLY WORKS OUT OKAY
Does game thread amnesty get extended if Felix is injured?
I'm trying to joke about the LATE meme.

It’s not going too well.

You missed a sex longevity joke opportunity there.
Goddammit.
NEEDS MORE CAPS
I know when to jump ship on a bad joke.
I don't know about that...

you’re still following the 2008 Mariners, right?

I'm still laughing.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA FUCKBASEBALL FUCK ARGH

Whatevsr

More gingles?

I’ve tried to erase the bad moments from the 1980’s.

And then I see Jim Presley swinging at pitches in another state in my mind’s eye again, and minor league batting averages in the PI sports pages where Edgar’s leading the PCL again, and I have to grab the tequila bottle…

no ui an out of gingles but am in a tuxedooo
Annnnd rec'd
Fuck this is funny.
Wedding? Awards Ceremony? Queen's Official Birthday?

Curious as to what social occasion gets the heavy drinking and formal wear…

graduands dinners of coulse
Ah, makes sense.

Congratulations!

Don't you mean 'congraduations'?
I can spell right now because I haven't been drinking.

I might fix that later, though. I need to sample some tequilas before flying to Mexico for vacation next week.

but i look really d fucking gat with my haer cut

goddamn parents say ‘graham cut your fucking hair bacuae you lookl like a tawat’ an d so it lll came off today and I am sd

vowels are overrated
YOUR MOTHER IS OCVERPRICED BUT I HAED THE MONEY AND IT WAS OK I GUESS
You know you're in a bad way when JI is giving you shit about your spelling
Congratulations

I’m glad you chose LL as your preferred afterparty destination

girl was putting too much lipstick on my face but ashe way too tall so escape!
Simple rule:

People are pretty much all the same height lying down.

WYA TO TALL
Just for you gnome
That thread is one of our finer moments.

I’m glad it’s getting the recognition it deserves.

Late career performance spike?
Rich Harden: 8IP, 2H, 1BB, 11K

11 swings and misses on 95 pitches.

Beast.

When Harden isn't hurt...damn.
HE Ahas THE MESTBEAUTIFUL BLUE EYTES

\deanna is she lsot the ability to type

And Jarrod Washburn has the most beautiful chipmunk teeth.
He also has the most beautiful teenage daughters

oh wait…

I wish Deanna was here to see that comment.
DEANAN LIVES ON IN ALL OF US BRO-RAY
Okay, you have to change your screen name to Bro-Ray now.
Shit, I might have to!!
I told you I was totally going to go Kibo on you all

And, yeah, Harden has the most amazing eyes. And arm. Sigh.

Graham, come to Japan, I’ll buy you many, many beers. And shochu.

He's healthy?
Looks like the Nats are our real competition

From coolstandings.com

           W  L   Pct RS  RA  EXPW EXPL
Seattle    28 50 .359 313 384 61.9 100.1
Washington 31 49 .388 292 401 62.4  99.6
San Diego  32 47 .405 293 368 67.6  94.4
Colorado   32 47 .405 331 399 71.3  90.7
The mariners did all they could to fend off the nationals head-to-head.
Now, it's our turn to cough some up to the Padres.

Strasburg Ho!

Look at this

graham BAITING CARRIES A hey theasdr the button i dound it

i should deteldss this commnt

I'm glad you were able to find it
You're a bad person.
Graham is going to ban you, sober up, then forget you're banned for 2 months
I will stalk him quietly from a distance
This is just awful.
Fixed.

Your forgot to shop a Rasmus Mariners jersey.
I think you meanLooper.
CAN I HAS A [COATHANGER] JERSEY?
Since Graham got his second drunk thread does that mean I'm on deck
OR AON DSUICL!

HAHAHAHA ROBOERT SI A PENIS

SMASHED posting >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Drunk posting
The closer you are to the hospital, the more hilarious.

It’s a fine line.

Is JI first in succession order if one of the mods die?
The servers would melt.
I just want to know how many bullets am I away
Don't make me root for Graham's untimely demise.
THINK OF THE POWER
More gin would be good for you Graham!
I RAN otu of the gin ages ago dued I am drinking prot because iz atole a bottle from hall herehe
Not to much though

More Gin= More Recs and I have no desire to give up number 3 on the leaderboard

Kiss the sig.
Together we could over power Jeff and take Matthew and Graham with us
Jeff will be forced to beg for recs at VEB.
I will toss them to him like pieces of crust
Graham's been at uni

I’m pretty sure his liver and the rest of his body is up to the challenge, after reading Graham Chapman’s autobiography.

Graham should drunk post some of Jeffs Drunk emails
Graham Jeff and Matthew should drunkpost a Three Guys who Agree on Everything segment
Rec'd because I endorse this idea
look i makes the picutrew

What's that big brown thing?
BASEBALL BAT OF HAMMERINST
Excellent.
i i fogret the linghting bolt SITKREING ROBERT THE GNOME
This means I get to live!
as a gnome
I have lived the struggle for long enough
I assume there are hawt gnome queens.
I split one in half the other night
Her name was Felix
Odd name for a queen.
I cant make a sex joke without somehow including felix
It can be a pet name.
aaaaand we've achieved ludicrous speed.
needs more fucked up eyebrows
You're right, I should drink.
So does anybody else find the whole fake "Ooh, Graham is drunk!" schtick to be forced and unfunny?

I mean, it’s terribly obvious that he is in fact fairly (if not completely) sober. The practiced misspelling and conceptual responses he comes up with are evidence enough of that. I guess everyone else just thinks it’s funny to “play drunk” or something, I dunno.

no dues i just fon't care about the speling
When was the last time you tried to type smashed?
I actually type very well smashed, but it takes like ten minutes to type each comment/AIM
During my thread

All I remember thinking was that I was writing the most intelligent thing ever. Like a modern day blogging mozart

I know wha ti asay is all misspielled but why would i care about spelling because i get to sesacape after poncing aout in a gown tomorws
Not sure what that means but I think your a fag
wdl i think your'a peasant

all pesenats hahahahahaha

Your going to give me some Pheasent?
Funnily enough this is what drunken posting actually looks like

Try it sometime

Practically every post I have ever made on LL has been drunken posting.

Not a joke, my friend. Excepting maybe the ones made before 4:00PM CST.* I just type exceedingly well (and at high speeds) even while drunk. It’s my superhero skill a la Mystery Men.

*Neither Mariners nor Nats playing today, so not drunk.

Crap, so putting two asterisks in a row triggers the "bold" function?

That’s a bunch of bullshit right there.

my brain worsk bete than my fingers when i'm pissed i think
Considering that you've made 2300+ posts, maybe you've got a problem...

Seriously, though, having posted a few things while totally wasted, I have no trouble believing that Graham is drunk. If you do indeed possess the ability to type well when totally hammered, you’re in the vast, vast minority.

I'm a lawyer...we're supposed to have drinking problems.

And yeah…maybe I was exaggerating a bit there. Let’s just say that the later a game (here in CST all the home games start at 9:00PM), the more likely I am to be kicking back with some Diet Sunkish and cheap vodka.

That’s right, I kick it dork-style.

What kind of lawyer drinks cheap vodka?
One who's saving his money for an upcoming engagement/marriage, that's who

Besides, I like to mix it with soda…why waste your money on good alcohol if that’s what you’re gonna do?

I 100% non-sarcastically agree with this

When I’m drinking cranberry vodka or whatever the best I ever use it Skyy.

Yup.

Yuppies who order Grey Goose in their vodka crans make me laugh. No, fuckstick, you can’t taste the difference between house vodka and top shelf in a mixed drink (unless it’s just absolutely terrible vodka). Go away.

To me, 'cheap' means Monarch, which you absolutely can taste in a mixed drink.
HRD for the win!
Fuck yes.

A few years ago my friends and I were going to a rock festival and we thought we were going to be cool and sneak in some booze. We tried mixing HRD with…wait for it…Snapple.

That did not go well.

Ah... the foibles of youth.

Mine was drinking Cuervo before realizing that pretty much all Cuervo is 51% tequila, 49% cheap-ass bodega rum with caramel (except for the ultra-premium stuff).

This put me off of tequila for years, and then I found out GOOD tequila doesn’t suck.

Cuervo mixed with Sunny Delight.

Not so delightful, especially after it sits in the Wenatchee sun for half of the day.

Cuervo by itself is awful.

Really, don’t drink any tequila that doesn’t say “100% pure agave tequila” on it. Even if it’s in mixed drinks.

I've had plenty of Cuervo over the years,

and plenty of good stuff as well. And I’m not a big tequila guy. Best stuff ever was the stuff I brought back from the tequila festival in Juarez, Mexico.

Can’t remember the name, but it was 100% agave, smooooth and delicious.

Jager and rootbeer.
That's either interesting,

or the nastiest thing I’ve ever heard of.

A buddy of mine loved to put on what he called The Jager Challenge,

which basically involved me drinking jager mixed with god knows what for every party I attended. Just FYI jager and orange soda is not the way to go. Ever.

I haven't been able to look at Jager since my Bachelor Party
I did this once
I'm surprised you don't have alcohol's ranked in order

of their compatibility with Dew.

Who's to say he doesn't?
I was baiting for said ranking.
Chugging Mt Dew is incredibly painful and vomit inducing if you include alcohol

Thats why god invented Mt Dew Amp energy drinks. If you want spend a little more Red Bull can be tasty and it completely covers the last of jager. On the very special occasions, I recommend 5 star energy drink as it has a sweet….oh my god im corco

Gordon's Vodka!
Gordon's vodka's kinda ginny, which is OK in mixed drinks.

It’s just terrible straight.

I use Platinum 7X myself.

You can taste Monarch if you're dead.

it’s beyond cheap.

Cheap vodka tastes, good vodka doesn't.
There are decent mixer vodkas that are inexpensive.

It’s just beyond stupid to use expensive vodka for mixed drinks unless you’re trying to impress people at how much money you can waste.

Oh, I agree.

When he said ‘cheap’ I thought bottom shelf.

What I meant was Gordons' Vodka, really.

Isn’t there a brand out there named Dmitri or something? I saw an entire handle of it on sale for like $10. That’s gotta be some shitty vodka right there.

Depends.

Friend of mine brought back some Wyborowa from Poznan for like $8 for a fifth (when exchange rates were figured in).

I took it to a vodka party where we were doing shots of sub-0 C vodka with snacks/appetizers (Russki style). People had brought Vox, Belvedere, Ciroc, Chopin, and were doing bingo cards.

We had a fantastic party, and most people liked the Wyborowa best (it’s actually a pretty good vodka). This convinced me that the Poles put their second-best vodka in fancy bottles and ship it to America for yuppies and hispters to drink.

Exactly.

That is why Monarch sucks so bad.

Monoplowa or Spudka are the only vodka I really drink.
Not bad.

I’m a fan of (obviously) Wyborowa and Pshenychna “Rifle” Vodka myself, but the potato vodkas are good, too.

Which is worse, yuppies or hipsters?

My girlfriend and I think hipsters are worse, but I suspect that’s some latent self-hating there (we’re both closeted hipsters ourselves – we share their tastes but not their attitudes). Yuppies are stupid, but hipsters are the filthy inheritors of the disgusting hippie legacy.

Yuppies.
Show your work.
First off, I don't even know what 'hipster' means.

I’m not convinced anyone really does; it can be applied to a huge cross-section of people.

Secondly, ‘hipsters’ as typically defined can be totally annoying, but they’re also a necessary evil in most large cities. They come to rock shows (even if only to be seen) and the money they spend helps keep clubs open, bands playing, they help drive fashion and cultural trends, etc.

Yuppies, however, do things like buy condos in ‘hip’ areas (like Capitol Hill and Belltown) and complain about the very things that brought them to the area in the first place, causing clubs to close, the character of established neighborhoods to be destroyed, and small, interesting businesses to be replaced with fusion restaurants. Take a look at Pike/Pine and Ballard if you need examples. In my daily interactions working in retail, hipsters might be snobs, but yuppies are often downright cruel.

And, most damningly, yuppies have led to the emergence of such trends as designer boutiques for babies and high-end dog salons. Seriously, is there even an argument here?

lawyers are gayrtarerd

do a real ubject

More Graham baiting.
Graham what would you do to Jeff Clement?
say hello mr. clement it a is anice to meet a man of yo obvious calibre hey does this ra smell liek chloroform to no
And then?
Are you sure you want to know?
Keeping in mind he's 6 foot 1...
Graham can have a step-stool
I wonder if needed to sit on phonebooks tonight?
What if he's receiving?
Somehow, I envision this going...

... something like this.

PS: promise it’s not a Rickroll, which is so March anyway…

I'm not that short so ffucn you ffuck
begone thsi ins not for our grains
not for our grains?
Graham should show Jeff whose boss by unbanning everybody thats been born
Do it for the HMS Surprise
No, he's gotta unban that "burn the tree" guy.
fuck surprsibe sjhe is a brigate

it’s all aobut the shops of the lne bitcheses

My apologies

Now do it

What ever happened to F'n A's, anyway?
suicide?
He wasn't a Mariners fan...
He delete hs diaries in shame.
Graham, is that you?
no
Why are you so quiet now?
i was on the flor ansd coulg t see keyoard
dno i stand ip
You know what goes well with port? More port.
i alrea\dy been sick
good sick or bad sick
vomit sivk whatever hlkinf ogesick that is
I dont understand

draw a picture

nor a pretty pictrew

FUCK WHAere the p[ictre

tty agan

I've vomited green before too.
I did purple once.

After drinking 151 and eating buttermilk pancakes.

Or try stomach lining...

after drinking shitloads of homemade Kahlua made with Everclear.

Oh. My God.

Maraschino (sp?) cherries soaked in Everclear do a number on you too.
Anything + Everclear is pretty much death
I'm glad those days have passed me by.
it's red this time

i only had a couple glasses of white and desret wine beofer hammering down the port and clert

That hangover is gonna' be epic.
I've done rainbow after eating a pound of sour gummy worms in 15 minutes
The people who I stole drinks from were drinking green drinks.
I crapped fluorescent blue for three days

After downing 2 liters of Hawaiian Punch “Berry Blast” in one sitting.

Even the toilet paper was dyed blue. It was deeply problematic.

THIS IS ALMOST AS DISGUSTING AS THE BODY HAIR THREAD
I thought your hair was shorter than that
i still self image with long hair

<—-self image fuck short har

You look like Zach from FF7
maybe my head isn;t as pojty as protrayed i guess?
Its been a while since I've last seen you so who knows
Ooooh, time for electrolytes, B vitamins and aspirin.
asputin ids chating

i sduffer the hangober becaesr i desrve them

If you can't stand up, it's probably best that you stop drinking.

Just don’t lie on your back.

i can stand up

8 stabd uyo now

Thank goodness
You idiot thats how Jimi Hendrix died

You need to sleep face first

Keith Moon and John Bonham too.
That's what I was trying to get across.
Well, I suppose.

My attitude is if God wanted me to have hangovers, he wouldn’t have invented aspirin, electrolytes and B vitamins.

I figure if I DON’T remember to take them and get the hangover, then it’s my fault and I deserve it, though.

i drink lots o water

but i think pi;s are ceating

You misspelled "wine".
Where's Brawndo when you need it?
hiii amtthwe
uour msn xzays your's offline again i think it's fucked
this is going to be enough hilarity to get me through the rest of my workday.
God bless you, Graham.
I was right. It was hilarious.
I blame the keyboard.
What did the keyboard ever do to you?
Be crappy.
The ultimate battle of sucktitude is upon us.

STRASBURG IS OURS! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! LET THE BITTER RIVALRY BEGIN!

Wooo go M's!!!!

We will lose to you Padres!!! 100 losses here we come!

But seriously, lately I root for the M’s to lose, I follow the bottom dwellers and hope they are winning.

Getting Strasburg would be pretty cool :) Our low minors pitching depth + Felix + Strasburg = a bright and beautiful future to dream about.

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