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Lookout Landing

6/7: Open Game Thread, Part 2

So I like the guy and all but sweet Jesus is Wlad ever going to do anything ever again?

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Comments

Steroids don't make great athletes

That’s the cream and the clear’s job. Flaxseed oil, baby.

There's no proof steriods help you hit homeruns.
Exactly.

Just ask Barry.

Who by the way is freely available
Why was a guy carrying a hit it here sign where his head was the target?

That seems stupid

I dunno if he was special or not.

It seemed like he might have been from the looks of it.

You can express this in fewer wrods.
Like zero.
bare maximum

“That douche was probably a retard.”

I think I've told you guys before

about my feigning away from the usage of the word retard.

I think it's a wonderfully descriptive word
That's a gay policy
I think it's positively retarded
More or less retarded than AK's sister?
Retards need love too.
I was wondering, is this made up?

Or was AK’s sister actually retarded?

We all know the answer

because we actually have met him and his sister

He claims she was actually retarded but I think he got the wrong sibling
She just acts retarded so she doesn't have to interact with him.
That would be quite retarded of him
AK said she was

she logged onto LL once, but all she said was “ahdjkjshd”

It gets lost in all the other useless stuff you tell us about.
If we are distasteful

Then why are you here?

Didn't say you guys were distasteful.

Just that I personally don’t use it.

Don't worry

Tards can do pretty well for themselves. My first wife was a tard. Now she’s a pilot

You can tell someone has a talent just by looking at them?
He lined out.

That’s something.

To be fair, Wlad totally ripped that last out.
...since when would 11-11 even be considered a football score?

???

TD, 2 pts, field goal
Two Safeties in one game?
No, a conversion would do.
Why would the first team go for 2?
Games that involve

Josh Scobey

Go find out many football games had an 11-11 score compared to baseball games.

Come back here when you’re done.

Uh

Can you tie American football games?

I didn't say end 11-11, I said had

and yes, you can.

only in the regular season
Regular season NFL games, yes.

Have to have a scoreless overtime. It happens every couple of years.

These rules confuse me
Having a tie in the playoff would be stupid.

...and it’s nearly impossible to have a tie in a regular season game.

They should have to start it again another day
...because that would be totally worth it and doable.
Sensible football does this until the second tie
Have you seen an double overtime NFL game?

It’s like flag football. They need mercy rules because everyone runs out of energy.

Have you ever seen what happens to a soccer team after 120 minutes of play?
Not really.

Soccer is only on tv once every 4 years.

They continue to run around albeit at a slightly slower speed.

I’m all for Soccer > Football and such, but the two sports are vastly different.

Better argument for you to have made: Hockey has unlimited overtimes.

Actually just playoffs

so they’re comparable there, nevermind.

I think replays are better

I also think overtime in regular season is stupid

Yeah there's just no way to fit a replay into the NFL season
Until they go to penalty shots

which is stupider than ties IMO

Shootouts FTW

Worst fucking things ever created.

I think ties in NFL games

Are about as common as perfect games.

Since 1974, one tie game every two years.
Seriously?
NO HE'S LYING WHAT THE FUCK
Well used to.
Er wait I'm
*wrong.
That's a shock. Butthol wrong?

very difficult
You probably mean at one point
Joakim Soria, how could you do that to me?
There goes 55 for 55
Throw strikes you stupid motherfucker
Derek Jeter cheated!

That championship is tainted!

Look! Look!

Why is no one looking??? >:(

Raul is such an awesome defensive OF.
RAUL GODDAMNIT
That's some good fielding!
Plays like that are why earned runs are retarded.
Plays like that are why Raul should be a DH.
But he gave us two runs with the bat! Defense doesn't matter!!
Well we blow.
Can we charge earned runs to Raul?
Calculator broke
You must have multiplied by infinity.
On second thought, that's not my best work.
In other News....

Gil Meche has returned to the form of his glory days as a Mariner.

Only 3.6 years left to go!
Well fuck you Soria
Jamie Burke gets that down
DICKEY TIME
Okay I'm taking the rest of the game thread off.

Go mariners, etc. Later buds.

You should take the rest of Lookout Landing off
No please don't leave

We want you to stay

YOU DON'T NEED TO ANNOUNCE THESE THINGS
I've just finished this cup of tea.

Time for another cup of tea

I'm reading "Going After Cacciato"

I enjoy it

My butt itches.
You can be butt buddies with him
I've just finished a delicious beer.

Time for another delicious beer.

You misspelled "century".
"One chink in the armor of Miguel Batista is that he doesn't hold runners on well."

Find the error in this sentence.

"One"?
Correct!
Sweet!! What do I win?!
A free membership to Lookout Landing?
Awesome!!
Lookout Landing is also cursed.
Compared to the gaping hole that is his command, his ability to hold runners or

not is largely irrelevant.

The Judges also accept this as a correct answer!
chink sounds pretty racist
Walk to lugo!

yay.

Wow that was lucky.
EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT GENTLEMEN I AM STEPPING OUT FOR A CIGARETTE
Fuckin yankees
I miss butthol already
You have bad aim?
and grammar
Fuck you Stockton.
Stockton is the worst city ever
That city never insitied Mariner fan should roll out the red carpet for Raul Ibanez.
So a Dickey/Wakefield matchup would be pretty neat

gtfo Tits

"It's your groin problem. It's our job to shrink it."

...

Isn't it "growing" problem?

know your prostate

ZOMG Manny has 504 home runs
Because protection doesn't matter

that’s how, Stockton.

It matters for your counting stats.
rooting for walks

needs more knuckler vs knuckler

"Curt Schilling, who has an opinion on a lot of things-"

Stockton redeems himself.

whoooooooooooooooops!

How???
This one's a better speed

Replay on gameday?
Yep
I thought they only did that for homeruns.
Well, since the M's don't hit HRs...
Can you incorporate the look on Raul's face as he walks away?

It’s priceless. In the gameday replay it’s 18 seconds in

TOO MANY DEMANDS
AND ALL YOU GET IT GIF CRITICISM I KNOW I KNOW

IT AINT EASY

GET IT DONE
I only listen to JI

woo!

JI approved.

and the X is reminding us that this is bad
GET RID OF THE X IN THE TOP RIGHT?

IT MAKES YOU SEEM UNPROFESSIONAL

And the ending is too abrupt
cuts out too early,

we miss Ichiro’s reaction.

NOT MY FAULT
Fuck it I'm never making a .gif ever again
I've said this before and it's not possible.
This is all your fault
I can't wait for your gif related meltdown.
...I'll try this again later tonight
WRONG
Jeff

Why do you guys hate him so much? Is it his shitty .gifs? The way he comes up with fake conversations? All I ever see if you guys slamming on him in every thread.

What are you, Jeff's lover who takes trips with him to pitch f/x conferences?
What are you?

Jeff’s wife.

Jesus.

Apparently, I'm mama bear.
We won't have full access to the video for ~5 hours.
Make a bigger widescreen one after the game.
Which btw,

M’s mlbtv games aren’t in widescreen? wtf?

I love Ichiro in the background
I love Ichiro's reaction. Arms spread just "What the fuck, dude?"
AK's sister for LF
I like how Ichiro appears genuinely confused by the whole thing
Who gives a shit

He can hit

My in game gifs are of a much higher quality.
Throw stikes dickbag.
Throw strikes, too
Richie:

“Throw strikes dickbag.”

He's warming up, what do you want him to do?

Oh.

Dickey time
So... assuming Batista doesn't get out of the inning... is he going to get any more starts?

It looks like they are going to bring Dickey in. This guy hasn’t pitched a half-way decent game in a really long time. I’m not sure even our manager can keep throwing him out there.

Maybe I’m putting way too much faith in squinty.

Too many suck starters

Washburn gets pulled first is my bet

Actualy, I'd almost prefer that. Fuck Washburn.

He’s been a tiny bit more effective than Batista, but I just honestly hate him as a person/player.

Dickey time; Batista move to bullpen in long relief role

please please please

You can replace Batista's name with Washburn or Silva just as easily.
HIDE THE CHILDREN IT IS TIME FOR DICKEY!!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
KNUCKLE SHOWDOWN

Yessssssss

6 walks, 1 K

nice job you shitbag

We're licky we're only down by 2.
Just got back home

Oh, the Mariners are losing?
Huh.

Robert Alvin Dickey!

He’s so rad

I wish his first name was Richard.
I thought it was Allen
Disclaimer: I made up his name
I love the DICKEY

hehe

lol penis balls rolf
lolz thats what my women sayz
Stottlemyre being asked about biggest improvement in pitching staff.

ROFL

"We've had a few problems here and there" -Mel

Understatement of the year award

Our last flight of the Hindenburg could have gone better.
Fuck you Kenji you worthless fucking dickbag.
Morrow 4 Rotation
Would anyone be disappointed if the rotation became this for the rest of the year?

1. Felix
2. Bedard
3. Morrow
4. Dickey
5. RRS

McLaren would
I don't think it makes sense to start RRS

if you have Silva, Batista, and Washburn.

Yes because we have Silva for another 3.5 years
It'd be dumb to remove Silva

but the other two should be in there.

No. Except for maybe the entire M's organization
Beluga Tits, Washburn and Silva

and their agents and immediate family members.

Everyone else, no.

PB Kenji

KENJI HURTS THE TEAM BY NOT CATCHING THOSE KNUCKLERS

KENJI HURTS THIS TEAM BY BEING ON THE ROSTER
Hi, Jarrod? So when did Brett let you post on his account?

And shouldn’t you be charting pitches instead of posting to Lookout Landing?

I DO WHAT I WANT

Just ask high school cheerleaders

KENJI HURTS THE TEAM BY BEING JAPANESE
Pretty nice job by Dickey, there.
If we move Dickey into the rotation

I am pretty sure we’ll have an epic comeback and win the division by year end.

Year end or REAR end?

eh? eh?

lol penis

When you use lol in a sentence like that it makes you seem 11 years old
k douche
mabye if I suck you balls and paint your house you'll be my best friend lol?
I can't believe he's still around
He seems better suited to the long relief role, though his one start this year

could’ve been nerves, I suppose.

It's hard for Vidro to underachieve

Since he has no talent

How does a career .302 hitter have no talent? You and your spreadsheet baseball >:(
He has negative achievements
Jose Vidro is the Mariner equivalent of a goomba.
I would find jumping on his head fun and rewarding?
That shouldn't be a question
and easy

yes

Try again

You are incorrect
I always thought it was racist that the white goombas were on castle duty.

House goombas.
I laughed.
Looks even more like one with one of his hats on.
Sexson can't handle the heat! Way late on that fastball..

from wakefield. holy shit haha.

Did I call it or what?
Richie Sexson often doesn’t offer at the first pitch because he seems to realize that he can’t catch up to a Tim Wakefield fastball and thus usually tries to work the count
I laughed when I first read that.

I didn’t realize it was actually true.

Life's better when it fits.

(insert punchline here)

Richie complaining about not being able to see

Should be complaining about not being able to hit or field.

We're still losing, right?
A baseball game is happening?
Yes. Fuck you, Drew. >:(
Does that answer your question?
In a sense we are winning because we don't have to watch batista anymore.

now we can see dickey give up homeruns, which is still way more fun

Everyone's a winner!

HUGZ 4 ALL

fuck

Saw that coming.

The suck is contagious
Unfortunately, other teams do not catch it from us. :(
hay is is Vitor artinez
J.D. Drew was available last winter, right?
Boston fans booed him last year.

He hit .270/.373/.423….I have no idea what it’s like to have a hitter that good in a lineup.

You don't remember Edgar?
Didn't we need an OF last year?
To be fair Guillen had an awesome year.

Regardless, Drew fits the park better and is a better hitter…and defender.

UGH. I hate our front office.
That's the difference between us and Boston

When they overpay for someone they still get acceptable production from them.

Ibanez .266/.337/.445 this year

I know that’s a little worse, but still…

The OBP is waaaayyyyyy worse.
Granted, but it's like .012 OPS difference.

And for most purposes the batting averages are identical.

But but defense.
Comment was purely about hitting.

I said nothing about defense. >_>

OBP is more important than SLG. OPS doesn't tell the whole story.
But then you have to consider that, Ibanez has played every day,

It’s only a matter of time till Drew breaks something. Again.

I'd rather have 450 ABs of a very good player than 550 of a slightly above average one
We don't make fun of his batting so much

I need to see him walking away as if he didn't do anything wrong
Later
NEEDS TO BE DONE NOW
I just re-watched the replay and that little clip doesn't add anything
Wakefield dominating Seattle hitters?

If only Wlad hit those fair...
Washburn missing tomorrow's start

YIPPEEE

Eh?
According to Fox, Bedard starts tomorrow
Also true according to FSN last night.
As in he's starting Monday instead?

I first read this and hoped he was missing a start.

At least my anger will be postponed for a game

And Kenji can get on the team bus safely tomorrow

Bahhhh Wlad :(
That was ugly
Guess what? We suck.
Rally time!
wr9iong
In regards to this team, that statement is never right
This is the fastest Red Sox game of the decade
It may finish in under 4.30.
NIcely turned DP
Mariner team OBP approaching .300
GIF TIME!!
Not enough replays

will have to wait until tonight.

NEEDS TO BE DONE NOW
Talk to JI
I can capture live action video

but I can’t see into the future.

That's totally a routine flyball for anyone else.
RAUL GOLD GLOVE RAUL
"Terrific effort out there by Ibanez"
Yay for veteran hustle and grit!!!
AHAHAHAHAHA

.gif

This is not a good roster >:(
Or sometimes you chalk it up to a lack of talent
So what percentage of LL posters could play a better LF than Raul Ibanez?
1%ish?
That seems pretty high

But on defense alone… well I’m pretty sure a lot of people here have better range.

In fact, I just put a glove on a lamp post and set it in a field

It caught 32% of all balls hit to it!

I think you overestimate Raul's defensive ability.
I've seen LL'ers fielding
You haven't seen me
From personal experience, I'll say that tall people aren't normally graceful
You get hit in the face with baseballs
That takes range
I'm sure your face showed a range of emotions
I don't know. Gomez may really suck at fielding, but I think he'd only be about 5 runs worse than Raul :o
You guys should invite Raul to LL softball to play defense
Only if he would DH.

I don’t want to lose a 7 run lead in the 7th like Graham’s team did that one time.

I broke someone's ankle that inning
I wasn't at that game.

So you’ve blown a 7 run lead twice?

fuck that fucking game
Aren't you glad I drafted you for the next game? :)
that was the last game of the day and it left a very bitter taste in my mouth
What? That's the one you hit the "HR" in that we won.
That was the same game

You guys wasted my HR. The one thing that made that game worth it was you trying to out do Matthew’s diving catch and totally rauling it and landing face first in the grass.

No we played two games that day.

And Matthew’s diving catch came after I Raul’d it. And it was a slide, not a dive. I landed in a sitting position, then stood up. What game are you recalling?

Also I won both games, so I know you won at least one.
We'll find out next weekend
When did Yuni's bat become non-horrible this year?
He's legged out a few "doubles" of late
When the rest of his peers decided to suck worse.
A video montage of fielding ineptitude should be the topic of a blog post.

Kind a like a blooper reel with the music and everything.

But it would be 100% Raul
And that would be awesome
Can we play the Benny Hill theme?
Reserved for unparalleled tragedy
Raul fielding isn't?

Rimshot!

The Mariners in 2008 are unparalleled tragedy.

So I’m not getting the objection here.

I can make this if anyone can get me some .avi files of games.
That montage would do better with a slow dramatic theme

since the video itself would be Benny Hill-esque. It needs like Band of Brothers music.

I could also do this if someone were to get me said files
I wasn't aware you people here were so sensitive

about Beltré. So, just to know, we can’t say something bad about him here?

Bad things are fine

stupid things are not

Not when it's worthless stats.
Stupid isn't tolerated no matter the subject.
Especially with a long and ignominious career of stupid
You really want someone to pay attention to you, huh?
Wow, that looked like a ball the whole way and Raul still swung at it.
In other news, Carlos Zambrano just had another of his

epic dugout meltdowns.

Which catcher to scapegoat this time?
Clement.
He ought to just pile on Kenji.

I mean come on. It might have been his fault…

Soto, though I think it's more likely he was pissed at his defense.
Oh good my MLB.tv crashed

that’s always a lot of fun when you’re using a slow proxy.

mlb.com crashed yesterday
Worthless stats OPS+ with RISP and 2 out or on High Leverage Situations

I wasn’t aware that was also stupid! Thanks for clearing that up for me.

You must be our GM, with those ideas.

Now you know.
For a statistician you sure are bad at statistics
Happy to enlighten you
worthless stat is worthless
Ahahahahaha you are retarded
C'mon Graham

butthol doesn’t appreciate that word

He embodies it.

Rimshot!

Cherry picking isn't statistics.

WTF?

This was a reply to Morado
God people from Boston suck
Is more or less break good for a fastball?
4
Yeah, I came to that conclusion shortly after posting
Nevermind stupid question
Beat LA?

Boston is infested with retards.

Shit like that is why I'm rooting for the Lakers. And I fucking hate Basketball
I'm rooting for stadium implosion.

Much like what I root for during Yankee-Red Sox games.

Seattle's on the West Coast, everyone on the west coast is a laker fan.

Heck, I’m reasonably certain most people in Massachussets think Seattle’s in California, too.

I wouldn't be surprised

When I say I am from Washington to people out of state, 95% of people will think I mean Washington DC.

huh. What was that?
I wonder how Wlad is so strong...

he looks kind of small to me…

Nice catch dude
Goddammit Lowe I like you stop sucking
Happy birthday Mark!
And I used to think you were a badass
Groundball to Wlad, line drive to Wlad, soft line drive to Wlad, groundball to Wlad

Lowe really doesn’t like Wlad

So Chris Snelling got optioned again
WALK HIM ALREADY
Some players are just born to play for Toronto

Son?

second honkiest team
By the way RRS' velocity last night looked fine
Whatever, you don't even watch the games.
Yes, but his pitching against left handed batters on alternate Thursdays is unclutchy
I wouldn't be surprised if you actually researched this before posting.
Flase hope eliminated!
False hope finally exterminated
Someone get Felix, Wlad, Beltre, Ichiro, Lopez, and Morrow out of Boston.

We have to drop a bomb on Fenway park.

Why do you hate Dickey

and Erik Bedissapointment. No, that doesn’t work.

Bedard can come too. But I'd take RRS before the Dicktator
Don't forget Cairo and Vidro
The bomb wouldn't kill cockroaches anyway.
I know Putz has been bad this year, but I'm surprised you're all planning to

leave him there to die.

what about Bedar?
Babar?

I was saying Bedard in Canadian
I thought it was "Bay-darr"
I like how we never use RRS in high leverage situations.
Wow just saw the gameday replay of Wlad's catch

That was badass

Thanks guys for letting me know

That this site doesn’t allow self criticism. Thank you for your comments and for censoring my threads!

Good bye, have a nice life!

Here, let me help you out

see ya

ZOMG ABUSE OF POWER
JEFF IS A GERMAN NATIONALIST MOVEMENT FROM THE MID-20TH CENTURY
BOOM HEAD SHOT
I find your reasoning to be faulty.
Thanks! Not a problem!
Can someone get me up to speed about what this guy said?
He thinks Beltre sucks and used worthless stats to backup his argument.
Using arguments relying on Beltre's clutch hitting ability to 'prove' Beltre sucks

And worse still, thinking he’s right.

Beltre sucks and isn't clutch
That almost sounds suicidal.

God I hope it was.

Also:

self-criticism? What, is this North Korea?

That's one way to cure the clubhouse
So, back to goombas

I can't be racist if I just hate everyone
Racist against the human race
This is an arguement is use for Greg House.
Good job
is = I

still my overall body of work is much better after having installed fresher batteries.

Arguement?
Joe Morgan has "consistant"
Joe Morgan is also known for such things as being a tremendous douchetastic idiot
Still smarter than most color guys.

You can't assume everything I type has a typo.
It seems more accurate than assuming otherwise
y OUU told my mother that you loved her
Dear Tampa Bay

I am sorry.

We are trying, really. It just doesn’t show 65% of the time we play.

As I said earlier, us playing the Red Sox does not help the Rays
hey, we're 3-2 against boston this year

tampa should thrilled.

You already took 1 of 3 from Boston at home.

That’s really more than the Rays had any right to expect.

2 of 3
Oh you mean their home
Yeah, sorry.

Should’ve said 1 of 3 from the Sox in Fenway.

End already.
oh hey so that horse race is going to start in a minute i think

I skipped the four hours of pre-game but the race itself might me amusing.

[not someone who ever watches horse racing]

as in about 30 seconds i think
My MLB.tv crashed again but this time I don't think I'll try to reboot
You'll regret it.
Goddamit so much for having this read to go:
Goombas (クリボー, Kuribō?) are depicted as brown mushroom-like creatures with feet, bushy eyebrows, and a pair of fangs sprouting from their lower jaw. They generally tackle, headbonk, or bite an enemy. The Goombas once lived in peace in the Mushroom Kingdom, but they betrayed their homeland to side with Bowser.
willie PH for Vidro

we just improved at DH

Hahaha fuck you assface
Nice catch douchebag
Glad Reed didn't get a PA.
He still might...
Go horseys!
BULLSHIT CAIRO HAS NEVER DONE A GOOD JOB EVER
Oh, so THAT's what defensive indifference is.

I thought that was what the Mariner front office uses to evaluate players.

BIG BROWN

HALF MILE TO GO OPEN THREAD

BIG BROWN.. uh.. way not in the lead

boring

Papelbon? Really?

I hope the M’s score 6-7 runs just to spite him.

So Youkilis got an error
So this game is a little more of what I expected...

Rape Papsmear plz

Damn, 38-1

wish I had bet on that.

I think the Boston announcer just compared Cairo to a church mouse
So that's how you watch horse racing

skip everything, watch for two minutes, race over, back to baseball.

I think I saw ads saying the coverage started at 3pm. Eastern.
Yep. Post time is all you need to pay attention to.

Then add 15 minutes to that.

see? closers can't pitch outside of save situations

it’s proven!

That's why relievers we're so incredibly shitty in the 70s.
What if a closer is pitching to Adrian Beltre with RISP outside of a save situation?
antigravity
the pitcher throws a wild pitch

and then Beltre strikes out

So Big Brown doesn't get the Triple Crown
(poop joke)
Shoot it
If he's broken something you just might get your wish
Shoot it anyway
SHUT UP BARBARO DIED AT MY SCHOOL!!
That was the most retarded news frenzy of all time
SHUT UP AK'S SISTER DIED IN MY BASEMENT
You aren't a monster, you could have killed her children.
You have to poke holes in the box next time
It was fun for me.

Media frenzies are humorous when they happen close up.

His glue will be tainted with failure
And eaten by AK's sister
Yes it's all about the mindset of a save situation :\
That was so un-clutch.
We lose?
"here it is, what's my name?"

Seriously?

abortion over.
[COATHANGER]
NO
I know.
go make that .gif
The archives make haste for no man.
Stop doing that >:(
I think you mean [DEAD MEME]
Dick Stockton is literally laughing at us.
I can't seem to recall any of batista's 3 wins

all those losses are easier to remember

Remember that game in Anaheim where he figured it all out and RRS struck out GA?
Nope. That was back in April right?

That seems like a different season. One where we were only normally below average and not 2009 #1 draft pick bad.

First to 40 losses

kiss my ass, Royals.

Straaaaaasburg!!!
Jeremy Bonderman died?

his talent did
I had just assumed because his jersey was hanging in the dugout.
I hear he's good with RISP, though
Needs more Verlander
Career metaphor, perhaps
I'm just saying the last time I saw this...

Moneyball always gets you in the end
That trade doesn't look so horrible now.
Except the Lilly for Kielty part.
They took the towels away?
and beer/snacky foods

that’ll get our players to stop swinging at first pitch balls and popping them up

So I think Jack Wilson's official nickname should be Cracker Jack

I always thought he looked like a zombie.
Future Cubs Groundskeeper

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