Lookout Landing

You know how I know you're gay?

You appeared on Sox Appeal.

Hey!

Bedard looks great

A win here could be huge.

Bedard's stuff looks great

Only June. You need you ace to strp up today. Taking two of three from the best team in the AL is a start. Have you taken a look at the Chowder’s record at Fenway this season?

Why do you have such optimism for the Mariners?

Is this the first game you’ve seen all season or something?

This is still the same team many picked to win the West

I think there is still plenty of time to mount a comeback. And more than enough talent on this team to make that run.

History says we're fucked.

The people who picked us to win the division are stupid.

No one here expected this team to make the playoffs.

I dunno

I thought we had like ~35% odds coming in

To be fair

I expected this team to collapse more so than everyone else. But it was more a gut feeling than anything.

Gut wise I was right with you. I expected epic failure.

But probability said otherwise.

I said 83-84 wins

We’re the 05 Astros minus Lance Berkman.

At least I was dead on about the Angels.

Must be comforting.

JI - June 9, 2008 reply

Horray

The buildings you will design should only have a 35% chance of collapse

orders of magnitude!

I'm not sure what exactly this means

But I’m assuming its a slam on Graham so I will be recommending this FanComment.

Ahahahahahaha

Only June?

Dude, we are approaching halfway through the season. It’s not like this is extended Spring training.

We'd have to play .700 ball for the rest of the season.

Assuming the Angels continue at this pace.

No chance, the Halos have too many injuries and too many playing out of position to continue winning (especially scoring two runs a ballgame).

If the Angels don't make the playoffs, Oakland will.

There’s no way we make the playoffs.

And then there's the A's, the Rangers, the Rays, and the Red Sox to deal with.

Plus this team has 5 good players and a bunch of no talent ass clowns. There’s no way this team aviods losing 90 games.

If we claw our way back to .500 and miss out on a high draft pick I'll be so angry

I have a horrible feeling this is what's going to happen.

Finishing near .500 might be the worst thing ever to happen to this club.

I don't; we are horrible

I have a good feeling.

Now this one I just have no clue what you are saying.

It'll partly be your boy Jeff's fault.

What game arer you watching?

And how are we helped by winning?

Hahahahahaha

Well I mean his stuff is good.

His command is not.

a win would make us 23-40

Dude, you're the voice

try and understand it
Make a noise and make it clear

Your 2008 Seattle Mariners!

We’re used as the shitty team in retard movies!!!

dbroncos31 - June 8, 2008 reply

AHAHAH

Someone get a .gif of that fan getting nailed in the face!

Pepe Ibanez

A RSN douche?

discovolante - June 8, 2008 reply

Was planning on it but thanks for ruining the surprise

Don't make me stop you.

There are plenty of people who do not have the NESN feed to enjoy that moment.

God you suck Richie.

Richie I hate you

That was ridiculous

Holy shit dude

GOD!

I demand a gif of that idiot!

That is what I am talking about!

9 pitch inning.

He needed that.

Building for the future....

a 30 year old minor league journeyman…

30? Way too young.

That gif is gonna be legendary

Too much hype now

I learned last night that it's pronounced "jiff"

Huh.

You pronounced it another way?

Retard

That's bullshit.

Choosy mom's choose .gifs

That's a really terrible comment. I am very sorry.

It's also already been done

LATE

Boy, I just suck all around.

LATE

At least you know how to make them.

Were you saying it giff or something?

heef

Yes

I just found out that .jpg

Is pronounced ‘gee-pehj’

Really? Weird. I've been going with "jay peg"

He's British.

/taking the piss

I was thinking there was no way that was real

You'd think there'd be some bullshit U in there somewhere

Yeah, it's jay peg

Did I miss another giffable moment?

Boy did you

What happened?

You'll see

This had better be one epic gif.

You're a Mariners fan

You should be used to disappointment

I have high expectations for gifs produced at LL.

We should thank the good camera work from all of the non-FSNNW broadcasts.

I don't like all this build-up

If it's not the best thing ever I'm back on the JI/Robert campaign

Nothing will ever top Lawn Dart

This is true.

LL has jumped the shark

You got my vote!

IMPROPER USE!

If I recall nobody posted it after the last win

But then I didn't read part 2 of the game thread...

God you're dumb.

Truth rapist

Pedonecrophile

FALSE

Maybe

Turns out I was epically wrong about this

I'm pretty sure Robert posted it ~30 times

dbroncos31 - June 8, 2008 reply

Boy is there egg on my face

WTF VIOLATION

Thatn you, thank you.

Bows, blows kisses.

I really hate that thing on Burke's chin.

What if it's Cancer? Then how would you feel?

It wouls serve him right for growing such a thing.

Having a soul patch causes cancer?

If you’ll excuse me…

BRB G2G SHAVE

dbroncos31 - June 8, 2008 reply

At least he doesn't dye it to make it look like a vagina.

Aw you have a soul patch?

I just lost respect for you

In fairness my soulpatch doesn't look as bad as Jamie's.

There's no possible way that it could.

If you know your bat speed is slower than it used to be, would it help to stand deeper in the batter's box?

Ask Jeff Clement

The worst part of hit and runs is that it forces hitters to swing at bad pitches.

The other bad parts are the rest of what the hit and run does.

So I've missed five innings.

I’m guessing we’re getting owned by a nobody RHP again.

Why do they even bother to hit and run?

It’s like a guaranteed whiff for them no matter what pitch is thrown.

ding ding ding

you have corn-rows

you aren’t going to Harvard

CAT'S BRACES

Bedard is throwing a one hitter against a decent offensive club

The Redsox just take way too many pitches

He's not throwing strikes

I don’t see why I should give him a free pass for that

Taking too many pitches?

Oh my.

Walks do not win baseball games

More importantly, batters swinging defensiveiy because they are behind in the count do not drive in runs.

You are wrong.

Wrong.

Oh god

You might even say the walks are....clogging the bases?

Francona might have it right

I think he knows his team when he says they need to be aggressive in early count situtations to be most productive.

That strategy sure hasn't been working for Seattle.

Bannable offense?

If walks are so meaningless, why is it bad if a pitcher walks a batter?

Not even worth trying to convince one of these people.

Trust me one lives in my house.

I just want an answer, that's all.

It isn't

But they're as good as homeruns

Fox told me so.

last night the Astros annoucer was surprised to learn that more

multi run innings occur after a leadoff homerun, than after a leadoff double.

LATE

You sir are incorrect.

Fire Joe Morgan

September 29th, 2007

“Zero > One”

I know.

This was a sepereate incident.

That announcer you listened to was LATE

It's surprising how little about baseball

baseball people know.

You think it'd be common sense

but I bet there are MLB managers that do not know this.

TV people and ex-athletes are bad analysts?

Brian Bannister will make a great analyst.

That part I get and am not surprised by.

But man, how do you not notice things innate to visual observation of baseball like this?

It's been pretty obvious to me since I was ten

that the best, quickest, and easiest way to score was by the homerun.

I didn't discover OBP until I was in the 8th grade

and I discovered that RBIs and Saves were completely useless the year after that.

When I was in 10th grade I was still trying to figure out what all the acronyms meant

Well, I haven't understood anything I learn in math class after the age of 15.

So I think you’ve made up for lost time.

Hendu brainwashed me in middle school.

I was convinced all Oakland did was take walks and sit back and wait for the 3-run shot.

Bribing the scorekeeper?

Did someone say....

“Listen carefully to this….pretend that you start every inning with one run already…..”

hahaha

yeah

I've seen lots of announcers

be surprised at that fact.

bluemax - June 8, 2008 reply

You know the old baseball adage...

The quickest way to the Hall is by taking pitches.

WTF?

You just made that up.

Answer the question.

Que?

Voices are overrated. Looks are way better.

If he were throwing strikes they wouldn't be able to take so many pitches

The Red Sox are smart

damn them

Cuurvveeeeeballll wheeeeee!

That just turned me on

The screaming double or the swinging strike on the curveball?

The curveball

the screaming double was the equivalent of a pool.

NO RAUL!

YOU LET ICHIRO TAKE THAT BALL!

'Middle-in' is not the same as 'inside' Blowers.

Wait he fouled that?

Fuck you Pedrioa

You white annoying mosquito

Where's the "racist" GIF?

Dying of overuse

It's not hard to not kill memes.

I don’t know why we do it so much.

We are awesomer than any meme.

[ABORTION]

That is one step better than the one Gomez made.

Still think we should lose the brackets.

({||})

Does this work?

Are we discussing coathangers?

Stop that >:(

I want you to suffer like I had to during the Lillbridge [coathanger]

So this is Brett-baiting

I WANNA BE ONE OF THE COOL KIDS

Only white people are racist!

Strike Dustin fucking Pedroia out already.

Beginning to resent white people

Welcome to my life

You've already burned your bridges with the dark people

Pretty soon nobody is gonna have your back.

Cast away to live with Bearmanpig

It's Manbearpig >:(

I find that a combination of any 3 works just as well

House Obamatron

zomg no politics.

He's talking about me

zomg no politics.

VOTE JI/Robert in '08

subject line spellcheck for all.

We will also protect the FanShots

Yes

and a Coachcage, and butthol probation.

I hate pitchers that run off the mound

99 pitches in 5 innings?

Ouch. Atleast this start looks more like Bedard, though.

Why are you so optimistic?

He roots for a good team.

True

But he always says nice things about the Ms too.

I think he's subtly making fun of us.

I don't think so. He seems sincere to me.

Not my thing. I actually enjoy watching some M's players.

And I like the people on this site. I might poke fun at the pessimism around here on occasion, (on other occasions, I’m forced to join in) but that’s really it.

Depending on who you believe, I might only root for a lucky team.

Compared to us, you root for the 1927 Yankees.

Great stuff but his command is very iffy today.

I want my Bedard to have both great stuff and good command.

You haven't been watching, have you?

You have lost perspective

No.

Mine is more focused.

Not till just now, but the statline looks a lot more like what I'd expect from Bedard

than other recent starts.

His command's been awful

The umpires haven’t helped either, but he’d get 0-2 and then just be completely unable to throw strikes

Welcome to every Mariner pitcher in 2008

I'll find it absolutely hilarious if we ended up with Strasburg and his command went as soon as he stepped into Safeco

And then I’d shoot myself.

There will be a new manager with a new coaching staff by then.

Don't care.

We’re cursed

1995 gives me a little hope that this is untrue.

'95 was just cosmically cursing us

by saving the Mariners in Seattle and preventing the to-be-become Rays from landing in Seattle to replace that departed team.

Either that or will still paying the karma credit card bill for that season and 2001.

But we didn't even make it to the series. 1995 was awesome, except for the no World Series part

Nitpick

Somewhat ironically, you now have the same GM that helped engineer

that little tragedy.

That would be the karma credit card bill

Ms Coaches: You need to learn a changeup

Strasburg: I already have a good offspeed pitch.
Ms: The change is more deceptive and helps you establish the fastball.
Strasburg: I don’t really need to establish my fastball, it’s 99 with movement.
Ms: You should be able to throw nothing but fastballs in the first inning.
Strasburg: That’s retarded. Why would I do that?
Ms: Then they’ll be fooled by your changeup later in the game.
Strasburg: but slider!

He throws a change

Piped in a couple to LHB in that 23K game that I could see.

But yeah >:(

He'll be in the bullpen, so they'll re-sign Guardado to teach him the split.

Who is Coaches and is Ms. Coaches hot?

That happened a lot when Bavasi ran our club too.

I’m starting to doubt that’s a coincidence.

Puss

So Comcast forgot to turn on the HD feed...

It's on for me.

I have it....

but it’s been pretty shitty most of the game. I turned to FSN but it appeared that was being being shitty too.

Yeah, it's been digital bleeping all over the place.

I have a movie about the desert.

No, that was just the M's batting.

I'm serious.

That actually sounds pretty cool.

But yeah, baseball would be better.

Given the choice between bright beatuiful picture or the gamethread

I choose gamethread.

So this is what the Pirates fans felt like last year when Weaver shut them out.

Like 6 meatballs an inning that get fouled or pounded into the ground.

Another starter leaves with an injury?

They were just stalling for Green to warm up

We seem to do this a lot.

How much longer are we going to get away with it?

What can they do to us?

We didn’t fake an injury this time, and I’m pretty sure it’s not an illegal practice.

Wow i missed a troll in this thread.

I could tell by the comments and by seeing quite a few trolls in my time.

It is still hanging around.

Sean Green vs. lefty

Predictable result.

FUCK YOU WITH A MACHETE DREW

Game over.

I used to love JD Drew so so much

now I love him less.

Well, shoot.

Was that Nancy Fucking Drew?

Why did Green come in against a lefty?

AMBER ALERT

YOUR DAUGHTER SHALL BE KIDNAPPED AND RAPED IN AN ANAL FASHION

Drew would make a perfect Mariner

Patient hitter with good defense.

No he wouldn’t.

sigh

But clubhouse guy too.

He leads the league in fewest RBIs remembered.

I know he's an Angels troll.

I'm not sure whether he's a troll or just stupid.

The all caps screen name leads be to believe the latter.

People with all caps screen names are stupid.

Well he would be a good Mariner, the type of player we should go after

Therefore he does not fit the mold at all

This seems like a strange comment to facepalm

It's the trolling more than anything else.

He doesn't seem like a troll so much as like a very confused person

My FSN feed sucks.

Mine's been crap the whole game too

Mine has been garbage all year...its rather annoying

Our bullpen is lights out...

except when it needs to be.

GTFO my mariner game Hayden Christiansen

It's rare when the Mariners are the second worst team on my computer screen...

You're watching a rerun of a Sonics game?

Wandy Rodriguez is owning the Cardinals.

Was Owning...

Edanger6 - June 8, 2008 reply

So remember when I wanted us to sign Milton Bradley?

:(

I would go with the parker brothers

You know, you could say you advocated anything and I would believe you

Remember back in 2003 when I wanted to sign Mark Loretta as infield suck insurance?

No one listened to me.

Remember beginning of last year I had an inkling that Jack Cust would be a beast hitter and that we should sign him?

No.

Well then, remember when I knew Chase Utley was going to be a beast back when he was in high school?

Remeber back in 2002 when i advocated getting my favorite NL player Jeff Cirillo

That was stupid.

And I remember being mad at Rob Neyer for saying he would suck.

I was psyched.

Yeah me too.

When I found out that he looked like my math teacher I became worried

I was worried when I realized he looked like John Rocker.

A Trade with the Rangers would make sense.

The Rangers could use Dickey back. Hell, they could use any major league pitcher.

They're not going to give us Bradley for RA Dickey.

Nobody is getting their hands on our Dickey.

Taking the average of the two comments above me, I say it's a perfect trade for everyone

The Rangers just released him

Why would they trade us a good player to get him back?

I did too you thought thief

Don't we agree on everything anyway?

Oh yes

man we’re smart

I was just thinking that.

Ehhhhh

Choice of beer suggests intelligence

Isn't that a wine bottle?

No

Can't see choice of beer, assuming it's PBR

Hmm, you know what I'm thinking right now?

Does it involve working at a beerery?

I remember typing that

Ironically, we farm beets at the beerery

Youk under 300

Finally! This overrated fuck will be hitting below his weight before the season is over.

I was told he would walk more.

You suck

Batting average?

Hmm…let’s try something here.

How do you feel about Adrian Beltre?

I feel sorry for him.

Fuck you luck

I would take him

You want Rob Quinlin or Brandon Wood?

No

Neither.

I would trade he for Lackey or maybe Santana

but that’s about it.

Beltre + Lopez for Howie + Wood?

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

No.

::vomits::

Hmmmm

If Wood were actually as good a prospect as he’s hyped up to be, sure.

Since he’s not, no.

I'll take Willits, final offer

STAB

Batting average is a terrible statis--eh not worth it.

Use the research thing,

if they’re not willing to look up sources they usually give in.

Dammit

I just got home to find a message on my phone from my sister. Apparently Howard Lincoln is going to be the commencement speaker at her graduation next week.

Halberds ready, Coach

Lookout Landing has never needed you so much as now. Godspeed

Coach?!

He's an assassin

Sweet

Interested in a road trip to Bellingham, Coach? I’ll buy you breakfast on the way.

His arsenal might be too heavy for your car.

He kills with 100lb halberds

A road trip to Bellingham is 2 months of marching for Coach

It better be a breakfast of champions

This diner in Mt. Vernon can't be beat

Do they serve shots for breakfast?

kibble n bits?

a Hitman, do you know one?

I have a week to find one

LATE

& less self-referential.

Boo the fucker out of the building.

I'm interested to see what the boo/cheer ratio is going to be

Regardless, I’m booing.

a sign saying

gb2/nintendo/

next week?

What day?

pre-USSM/LL Talk Meetup?

Same day

Saturday

time?

1:00, I think

COINCIDENCE?!?!?!?!

It's doable if we bi-locate.

So you're saying the Lincoln ISN'T the special guest?

We go to elaborate measures to conceal special guest identity.

So he IS the special guest.

Nah, it's Omar Epps.

Aweeesommmeeee

Robert Sean Leonard or bust >:(

I'd beg borrow and steal the hundreds of dollars + vehicile it would take

if it was Hugh Laurie.

You should do this anyway, because it could be Hugh Laurie.

Could we trade Graham for Hugh Laurie

It's tough negogiating.

I’m holding out to get Cameron thrown in the deal as well. We might have to part with BrianL

Hey now

I won’t accept a trade to House unless Cameron stays. Take Cuddy

My plan is to send them EnglishMariner in your place.

I assume they cannot tell the difference.

It's an honor to be part of a trade for Hugh Laurie and Jennifer Morrison.

Cuddy gives us the veteran leadship we so crave.

Not as much of an honor.

Better actress.

Not as hot.

Be sure to extract top value for Graham

Acting him to the cast would surely increase House ratings in the Far East and in the land of Oz.

I find this to be unlikely.

True, but won't you be upset when/if it turns out to be true?

I'm going to get my picture taken with him

Yeah kinda.

Ann Coulter

Seems like a bad idea.

People would just shout "no politics!" at her nonstop

haha

Hott.

ewwww

Uh.....

I can't adequately explain myself without violating the zomg no politics rule.

Self hatred is involved.

Good.

All I need to know is that wasn’t a typo.

The special guest is also not me, sad to say

That would be pretty fucking disapointing actually.

I'd have found it pretty awesome

That's like John Paul Jones being the special guest at a Led Zeppelin concert.

It would mean I got to go to the meet :(

We can have a secret splinter group meet.

I should have just gotten you as drunk as Eric was

I would love to have Howie or Chuck at a LL event

They'd have to be behind barbed wire

That only leads to them being wrapped in barbed wire

I'd like to know ahead of time

I could make sure there weren’t any sharp objects on or around my person

I'm not sure if that would end well.

Yes it would

They could be behind hockey glass.

There's a reason we're not inviting Bavasi back this time

You don't think we can behave?

Or do you just wanna talk shit about him?

Impossible to play nice

It's really stupid of you to hold this thing in Seattle.

How the fuck am I supposed to attend?

Dave and I averaged our locations

Can you do east coast next year?

That was selfish.

I say next year

hold it in a free location and use the registration money for tickets for me graham and LFoJL.

But we're already doing that to pay for tickets for Dave and me

Because you're better than us?

(Don’t answer that)

Your flyer lied?

Graham will be in Seattle next year

One less plane ticket.

If I were at the meet, I would just say dead memes after anyone says something insightful

I've had multiple oppitunities to kill that fucker

Multiple what?

Me too with the entire Seahawks team and stuff and most of the FSN broadcast as well.

Josh Brown could have died with honor.

Fuck Dreamboat >:(

Sexson

just looking at a pitch right in the middle of the plate

Probably the best approach

He just walked

Sexson walking always emits a chuckle from me

needs more surprised gif

Faster than 87 MPH.

He wouldn’t be able to square up on it.

That was 97

Although he could’ve had a good chance of hitting the throw back.

In fairness to Sexson, that turned out pretty well for him.

I'm kinda surprised they took Masterson out.

ARE YOU READY FOR THE

Jed Porkins!

I thought this would make use of a pun.

This game needs more Blanton

Weak pop up

for the win

Craig Hansen....

1st round relief pitcher…..

Willie can handle this guy

I hope you're being sarcastic.

Please tell me you’re being sarcastic.

Yeah, sorry

Burke

the snawer to everything

That typo is pretty fucking funny

answer*

WTF? Is Richie trying to steal?

Nice freeze Burke.

Second time today.

This Hansen fellow sure does throw hard

Mariners now are the worst team on my screen again.

hahaha

suck it Houston

At least our ballpark wasn't designed by Willy Wonka.

That park is fucking terrible.

I could tolerate Enron Field a lot more if it weren't for that hill

And the train

and the stupid LF short porch.

It’s a bunch of lame retro vomit.

But the train spouts fluffy clouds and moonbeams!

That's true about LF

The train amuses me, though.

I'm surprised they don't have gumdrops raining from the fucking ceiling.

and hahaha

Astros

so funny

Oh Willie

I love this gif.

I'm just gonna sit here and eat my god damn sandwich.

Seems like a nice day to be outside in Boston

Seems like a hot, disgustingly muggy day to be outside in Connecticut

Better than the February/March weather here.

Isn't it 800 degrees or something, though?

Pretty much

Touching 97 tomorrow

You'll find that everything I say is dripping in sarcasm

Oh.My.God. He's being sarcastic right now

PARADOX

So this isn't a sarcastic comment.

This statement is a lie

True statement is false?

Whenever I lie, Jeff Sullivan is a moron

So I am being truthful?

So's your face

So's YOUR face

fuck all

Owned

You're not coming to the meet

haha

God dammit

Who wants to go to the meet?

The people going to the meet are a bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists

You're the one in Connecticut, close to Trinity

Closer to Yale

Also stupid

Closer to Norwalk Community College

I know good people there.

That makes me good by association

Has Ichiro had a day off yet this season?

Ichiro leads off the 8th

Last best chance

HATE CRIME

I can't wait to wear my Rays clothes when I go to Fenway

Just watching the crowd is making me angry.

Are you going to see them vs. the Rays?

The Twins

That would make too much sense

Edanger6 - June 8, 2008 reply

Coco Crisp reminds me of a little dog

Warning track power FTW!

So at Fenway they have hat tricks on the jumbotron

in the middle of the inning now? I don’t understand why they’re cheering so loud.

They also have floating parking lots

They do things differently in MA

There's no scoreboard prompting at Fenway and the crowd still gets loud.

It’s really weird.

So we're losing?

We are not winning.

Why are you so pessimistic all the time!

The optimist is an Angels fan.

Is water wet?

Not if it's new and improved concentrated water.

It’s far more portable.

Arthur Rhodes sure doesn't pitch often

Uh ohs

Quick Question

If you were Bavasi, who do you trade first? What are looking for in return?

Myself

If I were Bill Bavasi I'd be waiting for my walking papers.

Your mom.

Good trade

She would be an upgrade at second

I don't trust Bavasi to make any trade ever

I try to trade Johjima and Washburn for whatever I can get

I'd trade them for a sixer of bad beer.

I'd trade them for a sixer of bad non-alcohol beer

I miss O'Douls.

My friend got a free bottle of Bud Light at a bar last night and I took it and threw it at the ground

Did you get 86'd?

Too crowded to see

Fantastic.

Last night after five Avery White Rascals I expressed interest in buying something a little lighter. My friend helpfully pointed out the Miller Lite tap. Said friend, it should be noted, does not drink.

I'm actually not a big fan of the White Rascal

It was that, Sierra Nevada Pale of Köstritzer Schwarzbier.

Normally it’s Köstritzer all the way, but dark beer makes me groggy, and I had a show to play.

But yeah, it was pretty mediocre.

mmmm Sausage beer.

Always a good decision

+2

I reccomend this action even more than I reccomend the comment.

Washburn

freedom

Oh shit...

I know what is coming.

Washburn.

Nothing.

All 2B prospects in the system

Washburn

for a high school cheerleader to be named later

So dead

Rhodes to Toronto

Ideally, Washburn, Tits, or Richie

In reality, I see Putz and maybe Beltre being gone this July. Putz will bring a nice AAAer. Beltre? Any team who’s smart enough to want him is also smart enough to rip Bavasi off, so the names of the returns aren’t going to matter.

Start getting on base please

BOOOOO

Beat LA

I feel so disrespected.

BEAT SD!

Kobe for LF!

Kobe 4 DH

Nice at-bat douchenozzle.

YAY MARINERS

Brad Ausmus?

Seriously>

Oh yeah the Royals are bad

Meaning we have competition for Strasburg?

Well, the Royals Giants and Padres

But I hold out hope for Starsburger

Is this Starsburger guy any good?

Oh yeah

tasty

I think In-N-Out has a Stars Burger

It's so nice to have that

You should bring some with you to the meet.

I can make some Starsbuger's

how many we need

1 for me.

I read this as

“Strasburgers”

I'll take two

via i280.photobucket.com

mmmm

You are lucky you're in a vicinity of an In-N-Out Burger.

10 minutes away

Its a very good burger

He's projected to go #2.

But he’s been a closer for 3 years.

THE DRAFT IS OVER AND THIS COMMERCIAL IS STUPID!

They even sing Sweet Caroline louder than we do Louie Louie!

Fuck all.

If I had the time and skills

I would create a call of duty 4 mod where you wipe out fans in Fenway Park.

Then I would retire and do nothing but play that 24/7 until I died.

re: SPD ticket it click it commercial

Who the hell drives without a seat belt?

Who follows rules?

A lot of people, apparently

Stupid people.

Bus passengers

Yeah, because they're driving

Suck my ass barf

Only because you're being nice about it

Cut throat bitch

damnit

she was a passenger

Chipper Jones tears something every time someone looks at him.

And still hits .420

He’s Griffey without the terrible

Does he still play third?

Yep

Technically.

He's 36 and he's gonna hit ~.350

Think if he played at Coors like Helton.

Awwww yeah 420

niiiice

Fuck your children's hospital

M’s are going to get the win

Sarcasm?

Optimism

is that not allowed any more?

it's been replaced by cynicism

and realism

Uh oh.

Rhodes sighting.

explain

nvm I get it

I don't

Fender Rhodes electric stage piano.

My favorite type of piano

I'm trying to find one right now.

Yeah, there's a good music store near me with some great ones, but I don't have the money right now

I'm trolling Craigslist to find a vintage Rhodes Mark I.

Real pianos sound better.

Awkward...

Each serves a purpose.

I like the Rhodes pianos when I’m playing fusion jazz tunes, ala Mangione.

Exactly

I'm no musician

bet yeah, each have their purpose.

I just don’t like simulated real piano nearly as much.

Just depends on the kind of music you're playing.

Real pianos sound like ass on some songs.

How many instruments do you play?

Primarily saxophone and bassoon.

I double on trumpet and keys. Used to march on euphonium and mellophone.

Sounds like a friend of mine

It's a Rhodes organ.

This needs to be animated

With the organ exploding at the end. Pun intended.

We would be winning if Joe Kennedy was pitching

I think your thinking of Ted Kennedy

I'm going to .gif me shooting your dog in its ape head

How has this not been sidebar'd?

I liked it better when I was the only person that knew this existed

You shared that link a couple of times.

You guys were dumb before gifs

JI thinks I'm still dumb

Screenshots of the ban button smarten anybody up

I have influence.

*had

Everything I say is driping with sarcasm.

If you want me to do you a favor, I can turn it into a dead meme very quickly

I don't think it was ever a live meme.

It doesn't have to be

As long as I get to keep my masculinity, that favor is yours

Putz in!

Game already over!

Bedard five innings...

What the hell?

Many many pitches in those innings

How? He allowed five baserunners...

21 pitches to Dustin Pedroia alone

Ouch.

Jones would have thrown longer

40 pitches in the 3rd.

Pedroia fouled off like 300 more in the 5th.

Damn

97!

yessss

Good JJ back?

Close

THUNDER

THUNDER

Hey Putz looked good

JJ's back

who cockpunched him?

98!

That’s good to see.

99!

99!

STRIKE 3 SIT THE FUCK DOWN

That was muuuuuch better

ZOMG CLOSERS SUCK IN NON-SAVE SITUATIONS

ummmmmm

JJ meet Velocity….Velocity meet JJ…..Call me for the occasional threesome will ya?

99mph

Wildly sexy.

Putz, you are

LATE

Pinch hit Joh and Cairo

With Willie Boom Boom?

Warning track power FTL

Not good enough

Unreal...

Beltre gets nothing.

Come on Reed.

Do something not bad.

What a faggy thing to happen

JEFF HAS DOUBLE STANDARDS

CHECK IT OUT EVERYONE

Is Papsmere ever going to become a starting pitcher?

Pretend you're in Anaheim

Okay... I'm about to kill myself

Now what?

Oh, I meant for Reed

get the eff out.

Not even close to a strike

Odds of Richie making contact:

0.01%

Too high

It's a Christmas Miracle!

In each of the past 3 years

It seemed like Richie would have a big HR in at least a few 9th innings.

That won’t happen tonight.

PRACTICER OF THE DARK ARTS! BURN HIM!

Seeing as he will be on a plane tonight, definitely not going to happen.

Oh good it's all up to Big McClitface

Hey look we suck.

19 below .500

5 games behind the 2004 team, for the record.

Epic tanking.

Seattle Mariners: sinking the lifeboats from the USS Fail

So we lose?

It's a Strasburg Christmas Miracle.

hooray

Is there a gif yet for Strasburg Christmas Miracles?

I know there’s Fiddle Cat for the wins.

Eyebrows - June 8, 2008 reply

We don't want gifs to become dead memes

moderation

Run away BrianL, run far far away!!!

According to butthol it's the furries

NO

Your aversion to the furries .gif is amusing and hilarious

It would appear that way.

Oh, the game's over

Sorry Tampa

YAYAYAYAY

Yuni didn't even get a chance...

Guess he’s not so clutch

yuniform - June 8, 2008 reply

Off to Toronto to help the Jays right the ship.

Slumpbusters, Inc.

Eyebrows - June 8, 2008 reply

Your 2008 Seattle Mariners:

We’re an ugly fat girl.

We are such philanthropists

This is quite spectacular

We have the talent to make a comeback

let’s not forget that we were picked for 1st or the wild card be absolutely everybody.

still better than Lahair

Sorry Rays

I can't believe we didn't strike out against him

I know.

Mark it down in your Mariners log book!

discovolante - June 8, 2008 reply

So remember how we were making fun of Kenny Williams for being delusional?

True

but nobody really thought the indians and tigers would be so bad, either

Eyebrows - June 8, 2008 reply

The funniest thing is how Carlos Quentin of all people is the guy who's working out

No Kidding

Nick Swisher is a shit sandwich this year

Really, really unlucky, though.

Shit centerfielder.

This is certainly true.

This year?

I’ve been calling him that for years now….

Not because he sucks….but because of his silly “Look at me I am quirky!!” antics.

Ah, the <iguel Batista effect

Nobody thought the Ray would be this good, either.

...
...
...

That team is going to regress so hard.

Not sure about that.

The pitching and defense have been legit so far. They’ll get worse almost certainly, but the Tigers suck and the Indians are now minus Westbrook for ‘08 and their own offense sucks so…

I think their .500 talent may just win out.

Hey, how much would you have liked to have traded for Contreras?

I would've

Its too bad it never happened.

Mariner's Buying low and Selling high?

you really don’t understand the front office philosophy do you?

Their HR/FB% against is going to rise, though

Gavin Floyd is highly combustable.

What's funny is two years ago if I saw Richie smack it like that'd I'd have thought it was gone off the bat.

Serious comment from a blog of foxsportsnet.com (I don't know why I bother reading this shit, but anyway)

“What was McLaren thinking when he decided on the line-up today against Wakefield. Why didn’t he load the line-up with contact hitters – Bloomquist, Cairo, Reed, and Burke – in lieu of the free swingers – Beltre, Sexon, Ballentin, and Jojima?! No wonder they have the worst record in baseball!!!”

Who wants one

via i280.photobucket.com

Now I just want a cheeseburger

Does sound good

You're 10 minutes away from an awesome one.

I want a Checkers burger

Not a big fan of their fries.

Thats my favorite part!

Very good with Ranch too.

Animal style?

25 total minutes on the road, $5: delicious burger

15 total minutes in the kitchen: delicious burger

The eternal struggle that is my life. I hate decisions.

lolz jeff can cook he is gay now

I assume you don't know how to cook.

I'm okay with steak and frites

That's all you really need to know how to cook.

Yeah that's pretty much my philosophy

Meat and potatoes

Good stuff

Yeah, but you have to wash your hands afterwards.

I can haz Strazburger??

oh hell no

Jeff's a big fan of lol cats

I is in ur Strazberg, cauzin injoorees

Ahem.

OH HELLS NO

OWNED

I don't get it

Flagged

Seems redundant.

You have to flag things?

Seems redundant.

No

I bet I lead the league in flagging Jeffposts.

I'm pretty sure I led the league in Pirata Morado flags yesterday

Sorry Jeff, I’m sure that was annoying.

It's not like I get an email every time somebody receives a flag

I don’t even notice them unless I check.

You should request an e-mail every time someone gets a flag.

Correct

What 3?

Maybe it's not the quantity

Just the novel I write explaining my flags.

I'm going to have to check this out now.

It's not that impressive

this is JI after all

Yeah, I haven't been more letdown since the last time you made a .gif

Oohhhhhh you just got served

Jeff that is.

I don't see why you had any exectations to being with.

You should read my 12 page paper on The Cask of Amontillado.

Post it I want to be disappointed

It died with my other computer

and no, You all would see past the shiny 3.8 and nitpick the content.

"Flaggign for dumys"

You've only written one novel and I flagged you for it in retaliation

I would expect no less.

I think Jeff just won

The good thing about flags is that since no one sees it it doesn't violate the TOS

This is almost as good as 1 pixel lolcats

flagged

I copy/pasted the wiki article on WWI as my reason why I flagged this

Flagged

I flirted with the mods as my reason for flagging this

It cut off after "To break the enemy's front, in orde"

We can now say that JI's novels are less than 10683 words

Unless it's a cumulative story throughout all of his flags

Too bad that picture isn't actually funny

:(

wrong

Dave Chappelle?

uhh... not really

Don't look very closely. Stand 10 feet back

Maybe I guess

Normally I would think you were being a racist.

But yeah, you’re totally right.

Silly monkey?

That's racist?

Yes.

fuck yo couch

I hate it that idiots ruined that sketch for me.

*show

Yeah, that too.

But it was mainly getting tired of hearing people say “I’m Rick James, bitch!” that made me never ever want to watch that show again.

I loved that show from episode one

and it was weird to have all these morons start quoting it, and they didn’t get the jokes about social commentary and completely whoosed the irony. they ruined the show and drove Dave Chappelle bananas.

Dave Chappelle and Kurt Cobain; kindred spirits.

Chappelle handled it better.

I blame Courtney Love

Not just for his death, either.

I blame her for global warming, AIDS, the price of oil, my sore wrist and Seattle’s lack of effective mass transit.

Well, it's hardly Cobain's fault that his wife had him murdered.

This is the only conspiracy theory I will say is not completely retarded.

Everyone should have one conspiracy theory they refuse to let die.

This one is cooler than anything involving the CIA or Freemasons.

The show itself is still good enough to watch the DVDs every now and then

And his standup specials were awesome. Luckily I don’t hang out with people that are the type of people who say “I’m Rick James bitch!” so it never got ruined for me.

Ironically

i was completely fine with idiots quoting Lil’ Jon.

How too look like a total fucking tool:

Quote Lil’ Jon

That is why this is ok.

The sketech was so stupid to being with

so I like quoting it at completely inappropriate moments.

Location was a factor.

My apartment was on an arterial between Downtown Olympia’s many bars and several neighborhoods, so big crowds of drunk d-bags walked past my window nightly.

Fortunately Idiots never caught on

that the Prince Basketball sketch was better

That was my favorite by far.

The funniest part was the hanging in mid-air after letting go of the rim.

I disagree

Only because it was like a demo of the Rick James sketch.

They should have aired in reverse order.

Charlamar got this new girl

Fine as mother fucker. Now Mickey Free is not a woman

Agreed

*fratboys

That's Racist

girls can be stupid too

Now who's the dean?

My favorite line was always

“What’d the fingers say to the face?”

I was astonished that “I’m Rick James” became the catchphrase that ruined Dave Chappelle’s life.

*five

yeah failboated

career*

its sad, he had so much potential.

He was funny before that show.

And in a few years when this all blows over he’ll be in demand as a stand up again.

TIMELY

Yeah his HBO special prior to the show was really funny

Give him five years.

His last stand-up special was fantastic.

LATE

"Put your goddamn cock away"

Link

I love that joke.

Err, bit.

Little long to be a joke.

When I read this, and saw JI posted, I thought it was a typo

And he was saying, “fuck you coach.”

joof - June 8, 2008 reply

Dear fucking Jesus

Ryan Franklin is closing a 1 run game at Enron Field.

Why does god hate us?

I fail to see what you have to do with it.

Ryan Franklin is having good results this year, whereas a guy like Beltre is the most unlucky fucker ever. How is that not god hating us?

Franklin does not have good results.

He has been fucking terrible.

I have not been paying attention

He has a shiny ERA but that's it.

He been blowing games, allowing inherited runners to score, and has more walks than he did last year (13:17 ratio).

So maybe I was wrong.

Last year he was decent

much in the Same way he was decent in long relief in 2001.

I probably should've realized that being good last year, a manager like LaRussa making him closer, and one good outing vs. the Rays that I saw

Does not mean his whole 2008 has been good

...when he has better guys to go to

LaRussa is actually a decent in game manager.

I feel like either the Wii was going to suceed or the Mariners were...one guy can't be too happy...

SethGrandpa - June 8, 2008 reply

That wasn't nearly as bad as I expected.

As requested

Zoom in

There was a better replay later in the game but I don't remember when they showed it

Don't make me flag you

Just be glad he got anything

mlbtv archives have been totally shitting the bed the last week.

I'm never happy with what I have

They replay it later that inning.

The hiccup is not my fault

Aces

He looks like he has grit

Get the boy a contract

Yep that's as awesome as suspected

Awesome.

www.youtube.com/v/1xkX5eWL7xk

I have to admit, Sox Appeal looks hilarious.

I've gotta' agree with this.

He just looks like a douchebag

Good gamethreads this weekend

A guess that happens when a blog gets its starting lineup back.

But we were missing our butthol

Butthol is miguel Cairo

Is Jeff Ichiro then?

Jeff does play for himself too much

Gee I read that wrong...

I don't think you're the only one.

Kirsten Schlewitz - June 9, 2008 reply

FACT: We are 0-1 for games after June 7th in which we don't start Cairo

Next weekend is going to be a disaster

Just make JI a mod for the weekend

I want power but not responsibility.

"With great power comes great responsibility"

Ben Parker (2002?)

That movie was terrible.

False.

I could possibly agree if you said that about Spider-man 3, even though I didn’t think it was that bad.

they both were terrible

Spider-Man was awesome. >:(

I’m bias though because I’m a huge Spider-Man dork and the movie finally brought Spider-Man alive for me. Really captured how I pictured the web-swinging and all that. My only gripes with the series: Not enough witty retorts by Spider-Man, Mary Jane acted more like Gwen Stacy than the sassy pushy bitch she’s supposed to be.