As Biggest Suckfests go, Jamie Burke is by far the most awesome Biggest Suckfest we've ever had.

Biggest Contribution: Cesar Jimenez, +54.0%
Biggest Suckfest: Jamie Burke, -48.2%
Most Important AB: Betancourt DP, -28.6%
Most Important Pitch: Cabrera double, -17.2%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): +88.1%
Total Contribution by Lineup: -162.0%
Total Contribution by Opposition: +23.9%
(What is this chart?)
Just going to fly through a handful of bullet points since exhausting holiday weekends leave you in no shape to exert your brain:
- Earlier this year, when the Padres lost to the Rockies in 22 innings, I thought it must have been the most depressing thing for the few thousand (hundred?) that stuck around until the end. Sure, there's novelty in being able to witness more than six hours of a single baseball game, but that kind of commitment deserves a win or at least something exciting, and I have to imagine that it doesn't feel too good when you reflect on such an evening and realize that you sat in one place for 22 innings to watch your team lose a yawner. And so for this reason I'm thrilled with the way things turned out in the 15th inning today. By sending Jamie Burke out onto the mound, Jim Riggleman played the ultimate entertainment card. How often do position players end up pitching with the game on the line? At that point, there was no way for anyone in the stadium to be disappointed. If Burke did well, everybody would flip their shit. If he sucked, it would still be something to remember. And if he did okay, every little success would be met with supportive, bewildered applause. In short, Riggleman all but guaranteed that everyone watching would go home content, and for that I am thankful. Watching Burke get a swinging strike against Ivan Rodriguez made the afternoon completely worthwhile all on its own. I mean, really? Pudge is never going to hear the end of that. 82mph straight gas.
- The dugout reception at the end of the inning also made the afternoon completely worthwhile:
- RRS' average fastball today was 88.8, or basically right on his season average. Given that he ran his pitch count all the way up to 87, that's pretty encouraging. Early indications are that he's doing a good job of getting himself stretched out. He wasn't dominant by any means, but at this point priority #1 is building up some endurance, and only then can we really begin to focus on the results. I'm just hoping the team isn't in too much of a hurry to bump him back to relief. The increased exposure to right-handed hitters would make him statistically worse out of the rotation, but like I said before, you have to find out what he can provide. The potential payoff is too significant to ignore.
- I've never been one to pay much attention to Cesar Jimenez, but in the early going so far, he's opened my eyes. I can't believe there are still teams out there that pay millions of dollars for middle relief. It is so. Easy. To. Find.
- Nate Robertson needed just 100 pitches to get through nine innings against one of the worst Mariner lineups of the year. Shouldn't be long before people start turning this against Erik Bedard, like they seem to want to do with everything these days. I don't blame the guy for being quiet. The public's opinion of him has done a complete 180 in less than three months. Talk about your lousy working conditions. The public doesn't like Richie Sexson, either, but Richie Sexson sucks. Bedard is still good, and he's getting blamed for entirely too much.
- Kenji Johjima has the fourth-lowest OPS in the Majors among players with at least 200 plate appearances. I wonder how his extension is going to stack up against Michael Young's when it's all said and done.
- In case you were wondering, Richie doesn't just get booed for strikeouts. He gets booed for all outs. I am downright flabbergasted that he's still a part of the team. Not because we have much of anything better in-house - we don't - but because there would be no quicker and easier way to regain a fraction of the casual fan support that's been wrecked by all the losing.
- There's no way we finish with a worse record than the Nationals.
I was wondering why people in Mariners/Tigers garb were strolling in at 6
This was appropriate.
Mariner John - July 6, 2008
*strolling into my work
Mariner John - July 6, 2008
I noticed that too around 6.
Fin - July 6, 2008
I think all I can hope for now is that the team finishes slightly above .500 from here on out.
That may prevent the FO from blowing things up.
BrianL - July 6, 2008
But then that leads to Pelekoudas and Riggleman extensions. :(
Fin - July 6, 2008
Riggleman isn't so bad
It’s not his fault this team is built on suck. And he’s actually put some halfway useful lineups together.
I’m not so sure who will be GM, but the chances of landing a saber GM or someone similarly savvy is pretty small whether this team finishes strong or tanks their way to Strasburg.
Gomez - July 7, 2008
Didn't the Cubs fail in 1999 after he got lucky in 98?
And there should be no excuse to continuously batting Vidro 4th, or batting him at all.
Fin - July 7, 2008
Unless you're tanking for sweet sweet Strassburgs
joof - July 7, 2008
He's still putting Vidro in the lineup consistently
Bavasi is gone now, there’s no need to play him anymore to justify the contract or whatever the hell the logic is, so you’d think a semi-competent manager would just move him to the bench until he’s given his walking papers. He’s our worst starter by far and perhaps the worst regular starter in baseball for his position, yet Riggleman has batted him 3rd or 4th on several occasions. That only makes sense if he’s trying to lose to nab Strasburg or just inexplicably dumb. I think any manager who can’t recognize that Jose Vidro is completely finished as a ballplayer is a bad manager, so unless he’s intentionally trying to sabotage the team’s chances of victory (which would make him my hero but he’s done a pretty poor job of losing so far) it’s pretty much inexcusable to see that.
He’s getting Reed and Clement playing time and that’s good enough, so I’m fine with him for the rest of this year, but if he’s still our manager in ‘09 I’ll be upset.
OlSalty - July 7, 2008
That's one lineup spot
It’s stupid, yes, and I’d have to wonder if he’s getting internal orders to continue playing Vidro, but he’s at least switching other guys around and trying to create otherwise effective lineups.
Gomez - July 7, 2008
Maybe the team should convert Burke to a pitcher
It’s not like Johjima is going anywhere.
Frosty Raptor - July 6, 2008
Brooks Kieschnick II
Baller
Corco - July 6, 2008
I got banned from DRB will you be my friends?
SRQman - July 6, 2008
Only if you bring us animated gifs of glory.
BrianL - July 6, 2008
I fail already.
SRQman - July 6, 2008
You're off to a great start with that sig
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
Jimenez has looked pretty good
I wouldn’t mind him getting a start or two before the season is over.
If we had lost this game with Rhodes pitching it would have hurt, but Burke pitching made it all worth while. Of course it would been awesome if the guys got him a W.
MFAN - July 6, 2008
MOAR HYPHEN STARTS
BrianL - July 6, 2008
The Nationals are a whole 'nother tier of suck below us
Saddening :(
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
Yeah, but are they really when you consider
payroll, expectations, and overall (theoretical) talent?
lyleleander - July 6, 2008
If only we got bumped up a pity spot in the draft for all of that
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
It's getting to the point where I can barely bring myself to watch their games anymore.
And I thought the Mariners were tough to watch.
esoteric - July 6, 2008
Oh, and Elijah Dukes is out for 6 weeks
That’s not gonna downgrade them at all.
Gomez - July 7, 2008
I spend 20 hours in a car see Jeffy hit two jacks and there's no wrap up thread?
fuck this place
I’m taking the admin offer at DRB as soon as I hit free agency.
JI - July 6, 2008
Bah, you're nothing more than a replacement level admin.
BrianL - July 6, 2008
Compared their posters I am brilliant.
JI - July 6, 2008
That's like saying Jarrod Washburn is a Cy-Young pitcher compared ot HoRam.
BrianL - July 6, 2008
to, dammit.
Responding to your comments is bad for my typing ability.
BrianL - July 6, 2008
I had much better things to do
Jeff Sullivan - July 7, 2008
Fingerbang
bangbangbang
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 7, 2008
Just because you were around sparingly doesn't mean you were actually doing something.
JI - July 7, 2008
But it could though
Jeff Sullivan - July 7, 2008
It also couldn't
JI - July 7, 2008
I think Jeff's running another website
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 7, 2008
It must be
http://jeffsullivan.net/
seattlebruin - July 7, 2008
http://www.coolfrenchcomics.com/jeffsullivan.htm
Jeff Sullivan - July 7, 2008
Naw, too super-heroish to be you
seattlebruin - July 7, 2008
According to Rotoworld
After Joh’s 0/3 today:
“Remarkably, Seattle’s designated hitters are now hitting .201/.256/.296 in 294 at-bats for the season. To put that in perspective, Rey Ordonez was a career .246/.289/.310 hitter.”
SkipT - July 6, 2008
didn't Ordonez almost make this team last season??
we could of solved our DH problems.
MFAN - July 6, 2008
lyleleander - July 6, 2008
That looks good...
What is he at, 770, 780?
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
yes yes yes
JI - July 6, 2008
Total Contribution by Lineup: -162.0%
-162%.
-162%.
Matthew - July 6, 2008
We need a DH....
Who would you suggest?
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
Fin - July 6, 2008
Yes, please.
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
That's bad!
JI - July 6, 2008
Vidro's rocking an OPS+ of 59
Suck on that dinosaur hatin’ Carl Everett!
Frosty Raptor - July 6, 2008
so they sucked enough to lose 3 games today
Bearskin Rugburn - July 7, 2008
We've got five good hitters...
Obviously Yuni is one of ‘em, Ichiro, Lopez, Adrian and Raul…what are we gonna do about the rest of the line-up?
Clement?
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
Yuni's been in free-fall mode lately.
BrianL - July 6, 2008
He swings a lot...
but he’s probably the most powerful hitter on the team.
He reminds me of Ozzie Smith.
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
except that Ozzie had good on base skills and could play defense
JI - July 6, 2008
Visquel > Ozzie
Jumps into fall out shelter of wrongness and locks the door
Frosty Raptor - July 6, 2008
Yeah, that's a pretty big shelter of wrong.
Matthew - July 6, 2008
but ESPN's opinion
JI - July 6, 2008
But rocks
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
Today Ozzie said it's a shame that pitchers with good defenses try to get strikeouts
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 7, 2008
Nah
He’s pretty awful at the plate all things considered, that OBP is absolutely atrocious and the power doesn’t make up for it.
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
WHAT POWER?
Matthew - July 6, 2008
The spotty-at-best power he occasionally flashes
Which is why it doesn’t even come close to making up for it.
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
I'd like to see you argue with this:
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 6, 2008
My jaw dropped when I read that.
Did this guy not see Beltre’s homerun in San Diego or the retarded, opposite field jack?
I am not going as far to say Beltre is the most powerful, but Yuni couldn’t touch Beltre.
Wilder. - July 7, 2008
Who's more powerful than Beltre on the team?
Mariner John - July 7, 2008
Probably Sexson.
But you wouldn’t ever know it because he can’t hit the ball anymore.
Wilder. - July 7, 2008
I expected this answer
He can’t hit anymore, as you said, so it’s not really very helpful that he’s powerful.
Mariner John - July 7, 2008
Now you see the dilemma I would have calling Beltre the most powerful hitter.
Wilder. - July 7, 2008
he...what?
There are zero parts of Yuni’s game that are like Ozzie Smith’s. Except the bad parts.
Matthew - July 6, 2008
He throws right handed
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
Have you seen him pick it at short?
Do you even know what you’re watching?
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
You clearly don't.
Matthew - July 6, 2008
This generation's Ozzie Smith?
yes, he’s that good.
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
Are you a troll?
JI - July 6, 2008
Too many past comments. I had the same thought.
Matthew - July 6, 2008
I remember him not.
JI - July 6, 2008
SBN profiles are your friend
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
Comment still stands.
JI - July 6, 2008
This generation must really suck balls
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
Via his sig, he may just be a huge Yuni fan
kind of like LFoJL and I irrationally support Loafie
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
But Loafie is good now.
Fin - July 6, 2008
Yuni is still awesome
Robert - July 6, 2008
Is this Yuni's brother?
Have you watched him play defense this year? He has seriously gotten lazy.
Fin - July 6, 2008
Yes, I have...
he’s terrific… picks it from both sides…
great fielder.
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
...3 years ago
JI - July 6, 2008
We shouldn't bother with people like this.
They feed on attention, positive or negative.
BrettJMiller - July 7, 2008
Picks it from both sides of what...
his body? He’s not picking anything hit more than about fifteen feet from him, that’s for sure…
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
Nose and ass?
JI - July 6, 2008
You might as well argue with Jerry about trading Ichiro.
Matthew - July 6, 2008
and Adrian Beltre's worth
JI - July 6, 2008
would be higher if he would aim where he hits the ball better.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
We should start a Yuni's really good at defense side bar?
And show how he continuously lets routine ground balls roll into the outfield as he flails his arm out to pretend to attempt field it.
Fin - July 6, 2008
We should start a Jeremy Reed is really good at defense sidebar
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
A non-sarcastic sidebar
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
He is so not Jim Edmonds lite.
JI - July 6, 2008
Is too
In fact, baseball reference says he’s most similar to Jim Thorpe. Only the greatest athlete of the first half of the 20th Century.
By the transitive properties of Thorpe, that makes Jeremy Reed a lock for greatest athlete of the first half of the 21st Century.
Frosty Raptor - July 6, 2008
This is outstanding logic and I welcome it with open arms
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
Man him and Ichiro roving the same outfield
It will be a legendary one, (would be more so with Adam Jones).
Fin - July 6, 2008
That's like using the surprised face in a non sarcastic manner.
Fin - July 6, 2008
Except call it "Jeremy Reed is really bad at defense"
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
Or "This is why WFB should be all-time center fielder"
Fin - July 6, 2008
Or the numerous, mind numbingly terrible throws to 1B
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
We should own this guy with Yuni's terrible RZR and OOZ numbers.
I am too lazy to check.
Fin - July 6, 2008
Picks it from both sides?
What, is Yuni an ambedextrious first baseman?
Wilder. - July 7, 2008
How's 2005 treating you?
I have rough news about the future.
Matthew - July 6, 2008
God the Seahawks suck
Can’t even beat the fucking Rams.
Robert - July 6, 2008
Fuck Andruw jones
Jim Edmonds is still better.
JI - July 7, 2008
I think I know what the problem is
You must be watching some sort of inter-dimensional bizzarro version of Yuni.
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
Or his DVR has been recording for the past two years
and he’s just now watching 2005 Yuni
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
Maybe he's confused Tulowitski with Yuni
They both play at home parks in states with mountains and trees.
Frosty Raptor - July 6, 2008
That would be rather difficult given that Tulowitski is 6'3" and white
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
And is probably skinnier at this point.
Fin - July 6, 2008
They both weren't white.
JI - July 6, 2008
Maybe he's talking about how Ozzie hit before he turned 30???
JI - July 6, 2008
Huh?
I’m thinking Mario Mendoza. Less leather, slightly more pop.
Paytheline - July 6, 2008
Fun Mendoza fact
Even Mendoza, in 1980, had a higher OPS for the Ms than Joe Vidro.
Paytheline - July 6, 2008
I asked for a Jose Lopez road jersey for my birthday a few weeks ago
I had a dream that my mom forgot whose jersey I wanted and got me a Jose Vidro jersey instead
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
The Vidro #5 jerseys sell for 1/2 price (~$120) watch out.
JI - July 6, 2008
I will cry if this happens
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
It could make a good rag.
Fin - July 6, 2008
A good hilarious rag.
JI - July 6, 2008
A reminder of the Mariners legendary DH.
I don’t think Edgar has anything on him.
Fin - July 6, 2008
But can he do backflips?
Kirsten Schlewitz - July 7, 2008
I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner.
JI - July 7, 2008
I win the Ozzie Smith biggest fan contest!
Kirsten Schlewitz - July 7, 2008
To be fair
rarely did I ever get to see the Cardinals play until the 1996 playoffs.
JI - July 7, 2008
who should start for the AL at SS?
Open question to all:
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
Glove on a stick
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
Michael Young of course.
Fin - July 6, 2008
A-Rod
JI - July 6, 2008
I can't argue with that...
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
Based on your contribution to this thread, the last two words of your post here were superfluous.
Matthew - July 6, 2008
What about the ellipsis?
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
This year?
Yuni definitely deserved the spot.
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
Burden of proof falls on the person with the weirdest argument
Go go go!
/Graham
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
Can you prove it?
Fin - July 6, 2008
His RZR probably proves the point....
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
It proves *a* point, but not the one you're trying to make
OlSalty - July 6, 2008
His der isn't this dramatic...
Yuniesky Betancourt fields his position better than anyone i’ve ever seen.
Patrick517 - July 6, 2008
He's probably tops in the league if you limit it to silly monkeys
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 6, 2008
Frosty Raptor - July 6, 2008
Silly monkeys only
angry monkeys range >> Yuni’s range
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
I can't figure out if you're joking,
but I’ll point out that Yuni’s RZR is third-worst in the AL among qualifiers, and he’s dead last in out-of-zone plays.
Teej - July 7, 2008
Thank you for looking that up for me.
Fin - July 7, 2008
This is among shortstops, in case it wasn't clear.
Teej - July 7, 2008
Reminds me of:
DEEP THROAT: Mr. Mulder, why are those like yourself, who believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life on this earth, not dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?
MULDER: Because, all the evidence to the contrary, is not entirely dissuasive.
DEEP THROAT: Precisely.
MULDER: They’re here, aren’t they?
DEEP THROAT: Mr. Mulder, they’ve been here for a long long time.
Slica - July 7, 2008
DEEP THROAT?!
SMOKING MAN! HE’S THE FUCKING SMOKING MAN!
The Typical Idiot Fan - July 7, 2008
Oh wait.
Wrong episode. Nevermind me.
The Typical Idiot Fan - July 7, 2008
What does this
have to do with Mark Mulder? Was he a shortstop back in the day? Reverse Ankiel maybe?
AZSEAfan - July 7, 2008
I'm a decade late, but I finally started watching the X-Files.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
Jeter
he’s a legend, and the ASG is all about honoring those kinds of guys, plus it’s the last year of Yankee Stadium.
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
Reply fail
seattlebruin - July 6, 2008
We need to hurry up and pull off some trades
Deal Beltre, Betancourt, and Ibanez for minor leaguers and let Bloomquist and Cairo take their spots in the infield and…uh…I guess Johjima would play left. Or Sexson could play left and we could let Joh play firstbase. Leaving Vidro as the dh is key. Or better! Move him to 2b.
rf Ichiro
3b Cairo
2b Vidro
lf Sexson
dh Lopez
1b Johjima
c Clement
cf Reed
ss Bloomquist
That wouldn’t be too far off from what we’re already doing, it would put us right there with the Nats, and if we got good minor leaguers, it might let us be good in the future. Perfect.
DAMellen - July 7, 2008
Nats would probably draft a hitter over Strasburg anyway
So we’d be pretty safe finishing second to last.
Fin - July 7, 2008
Black HS athletes FTW
dbroncos31 - July 7, 2008
Deal Beltre?
STAB STAB STAB
BrianL - July 7, 2008
Baker...always reliable
As for the predicted lame comparisons between Robertson’s 100 pitches vs. our lamo lineup and Bedard’s 100 pitch, five inning outings…thank you Geoff Baker:
“Throwing 100 pitches is not a problem if, like Nate Robertson of the Tigers yesterday, you go nine innings off that. It’s a serious problem if you go five innings as Bedard has done.”
short - July 7, 2008
Baker did call out the morons on that blog who kept running out the tired "Lolz, Bedard has a vagina" jokes.
I give him credit for that.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
There are morons here who keep doing it too.
Matthew - July 7, 2008
We immediately make them regret it, though.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
dahahahahaha
Jeff Sullivan - July 7, 2008
I love this comment:
JI - July 7, 2008
Geoff just called you out.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
He is incapable of disagreeing with his readers without being a giant dick.
Aaron Campeau - July 7, 2008
Or being wrong in this case.
But you cannot really argue with someone who thinks earned runs are “results that matter”
Matthew - July 7, 2008
I thought that two years ago :(
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 7, 2008
You're not paid to cover baseball for a living.
Aaron Campeau - July 7, 2008
I damn well should be
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 7, 2008
To be fair, Baker isn't paid to analyze baseball, he's paid to report it
OlSalty - July 7, 2008
Then he should stop trying to analyze it.
Aaron Campeau - July 7, 2008
God I wish he'd do more beat writing.
I loved his coverage of the winter meetings.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
I can deal with people being arrogant when they're right.
He’s arrogant and totally wrong, which is beyond annoying.
Aaron Campeau - July 7, 2008
It's good you can deal with the first because otherwise you'd never last here.
Matthew - July 7, 2008
It's not as though people here default to being arrogant jerks during debates.
There’s typically a period of trying to reason with people in a respectful manner.
Aaron Campeau - July 7, 2008
Oi! Isn't that your band w/a record release party tomorrow night?
Where’s the fanpost/diary?
I’m being obsequious in a respectful manner. Clearly, I don’t fit in here.
marc w - July 7, 2008
Yeah, that's us.
I don’t think posting every show we play as a FanPost would endear me to people.
Aaron Campeau - July 7, 2008
I was actually referring to the mods
Matthew - July 7, 2008
So was I.
Aaron Campeau - July 7, 2008
This period does not last long with certain posters
Jeff Sullivan - July 7, 2008
It's generally a fair amount of time.
Aaron Campeau - July 7, 2008
It seems like he should've been calling Jeff out instead; I don't see what JI's comment has to do with Geoff's edit.
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 7, 2008
JI posted in the comments at Baker's blog.
Matthew - July 7, 2008
I never knew he read the comments.
JI - July 7, 2008
He pwned Logie once.
It was hilarious.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
Oh hey I thought he was responding to this here nevermind
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 7, 2008
My comment was along the lines of:
seriously???
JI - July 7, 2008
watch me not care
JI - July 7, 2008
Fascinating.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
so I cared a little
JI - July 7, 2008
There there.
It’s okay.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
Clearly Jarrod Washburn is a more valuable trade chip than Erik Bedard.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
I wish Geoff Baker and I both had GM jobs.
Matthew - July 7, 2008
You just want an easy fleecing target.
BrianL - July 7, 2008
It's be like MVP 2005 in real life.
JI - July 7, 2008
The Madden games are definitely the best sports console games when it comes to realistic trading
Last Fan Of Jose Lopez - July 7, 2008
Now if only they'd improve gameplay...
BrianL - July 7, 2008
Cesar Jimenez is awesome
that is all.
No, no it’s not: Brad Ziegler is the new Pat Neshek.
It’s not just that you can build a bullpen for basically no money, it’s that you can build one BETTER than the Yankees/Red Sox/Whoever. For no money.
marc w - July 7, 2008
Exactly, you can just pay them in recs!
seattlebruin - July 7, 2008
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