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Lookout Landing

8/13: Open Game Thread, Part 2

God, whatever

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Time for some Simpsons Season 3

Accompanied by some gamethread and Gameday.

Soon as Felix gets pulled I'm going to watch the first X-Files movie.
Have you seen everything up and including Season 5 already?

If so, then you’re caught up.

It’s not bad at all. I think you’ll enjoy it.

Yeah I just wrapped up season five.
Weee Raul.
Any idea on what they're getting for him from the Rays?
You talk as if this is a surefire thing.
I know, I assume too much from out front office
I have this awful feeling we're getting Edwin Jackson.
Oh god please no. Reid Brignac would be sweet.

But as I said, I doubt the Rays would be willing to give up a chip that sweet.

Are you kidding? Jackson has some sort of an upside

I expect our GM to get something much much worse

Until Jackson learns to strike people out again, his only predictable upside is as a pinata.
I'm nearly certain it isn't.

First of all, I doubt Raul really has been snagged on a waiver claim by the Rays. Even if so, I doubt the Rays can give us enough to justify letting the two draft picks go. Raul is Type A for sure.

Who else would have gotten him?

He seems to be a perfect fit there

Raul has uses for many teams.
Contenders?

Besides the Mets

Any team.

Think about it, at worst they claim him and the Ms say fine, take him. You owe him a little over a mil and in the end you get two comp picks for it. You don’t even have to play him and that’s a trade ($$ for picks) you make every time.

I know that any team can claim him

But if you look at the grand scheme of things, only a handful of teams would be smart to even attempt to. The Sox for obvious reasons as that’s what they did with Giles, Yankees would because they think they’re still in it and have been decimated by injuries, same story for the Rays if he got that far

No. My point is every team would be smart to claim him.
I've been advised not to continue this minor disagreement...
Don't listen to Robert.
I've told him that spreadsheet is more important than anything he could tell me to do
Ok then

If you’re a bad team, why would you just ease the suffering by adding a player who might hit only 5th or 6th as mentioned before. yes it would be a dick move for somebody else to claim him because they have nothing to lose, but if everything was logical and teams were smart, the only people who would go and claim him would be contenders who need that extra little bit to get to the playoffs

Draft picks are super valuable
Everybody should claim him
Raul represents roughly free draft picks at this point.
How about any of the teams behind the Rays who would like nothing more than to prevent them from acquiring him?

That’s what happens all the time. A team like the Sox would put a claim in to block the Rays from getting him.

If he's been claimed, there's still 48 hrs to work out a deal, it could still fall apart.
Only til 1:40PM ET tomorrow.
I stand corrected.
Sometimes it seems like Raul is our last tenuous connective thread to offensive competence.
I will miss his bat.
TRADE VALUE!?!
Raul wants out of here I guess.
They're talking about Raul like he just died
New Thread Summons Raul Ibanez?
"A taste of Beijing from Budwesier."

Yeah, Budweiser does remind me of sucking wind in Beijing.

Mmmm, smog in a can!

With more hops!

Simms confirms Wash has been claimed!

Oh boy this will be epic no matter how it ends.

I think he is talking about the same 'report' we hear.
don't care. shut up.
So Beltre has been legitimately bad lately
Can we just put him on the DL and let him get surgery on his thumb?
JESUS CHRIST STOP BEING SO FUCKING BAD
CLEMENT
You've really turned on him, haven't you?

Remember when he was one of our great hopes?

I still love him

But as is the case with all of my other loves in sports, it’s accompanied by incredible hate.

You hated Edgar? The Sens?

The only things I truly hate are Nazis, Communists, and clowns. But especially clowns.

Yeah, those clowns. Man they're creepy sometimes
I hate a lot of things about the Sens, yes

And Edgar was a different time for me. Only over the past few years have I become what I am.

Bald?
As good a reason as any to start hating the world
Clement should be booed as negative reinforcement
Synchronized events are dumb.

Back to Felix.

Sexy bendy thing.
SEE?!?!?!?!

OFFSPEED PITCHES ARE GOOD YOU LATIN CLICHE!

"Mysterious injuries"?
So Felix has actually been pretty good today
Uhh..this team is hopeless.
Strasburg is pitching for the US

Link

If he admitted on live TV during the Olympics that he won't sign with us or Washington I will laugh myself silly
And shutting out the Netherlands through 3 2/3rds
They play baseball in the Netherlands?!!
No, they take all the good players from curaco like andruw jones
Do they travel back in time and get Andrew from 2004?
Access denied
I can't help but feel that this is the future of sports reporting.

The printed papers are going downhill fast, dinosaurs. I’m not the only guy I know that looks here for news and insight on the M’s. I’m just the only one of the guys I know who thinks it’s a good idea to try and game chat.

and he's struck out 8/12 batters he's faced.

A game I can care about watching.

Playing for the Netherlands

former Mariner Eugene Kingsale….

Youth is only exciting when it isn't terrible
Still slightly more exciting than terrible veterans.
Yup..let's bring up more! We need new blood.
Vern Fonk Rules...

that new commercial may be the best thing, outside of an American Chick Gymnast, on television…

Shi….
Poopi…
Shipoopi!

Haven't seen that one yet
It's an Electric Company spoof.
Du....

i…..

Dui!

Love these commercials.
CC Sabathia has paid off quite well for the Brewers.
What bullshit
OPS still below .700?
.722

God damn small samples.

I hate Brian LaHair
He doesn't know how to spell his own first name right.
Might wanna blame this one on his parents
Fuck that. He had the chance to change his name once he reached the age of majority.

He’s made his bed, let him lie in it.

We are exactly what the Mariners deserve.

When we (me) become Seahawks fans, we’re awesome.

We're the worst fans ever
This place has corrupted me.
I hate the Mariners and everybody on the Mariners
Even Felix?
Often
Oh Jeff...
They should try doing better
Perhaps it's time for you two to see other people for a while?
*Wildly raises hand and squirms in seat*
You want to date the Mariners?
This would be so much easier if I didn't have to write about it
No it isn't
You don't know
You should take Graham's job
I hope this isn't the start of the transformation into EmoJeff
Exactly. Fuck 'em all.

I bought my (then 3 month old) son a Mariner shirt for opening day. I sat him on my lap and we watched that great, great day.

I was so excited to get to at least somewhat share my love for baseball with my son. Now I just want him to become a Brewers fan or something.

I'm going to raise my kid to root for failure teams like I do.

I want him to learn at an early age that life is not fair, and that it’s full of unrelenting sadness and gloom.

That should do it then.
Not the Brewers though!

C’mon, anything Selig tainted is just… too much.

I respect the sentiment

But my father-in-law is a Brewers scout and I love Ryan Braun.

I was raised a Brewers fan, but Selig has made me stop.

My grandfather used to manage/catch for a bush league team in Fruitland, Idaho way back when. Harmon Killebrew played on his team when he was a teenager, then went on to greatness. Selig… my scorn is too great.

That Killebrew story is awesome.

I wish I could go back in time and see the greats from the 40’s, 50’s & 60’s play in order to compare them to present day stars.

Please note that I did not say 70’s. Fuck the 70’s. Too much Joe Morgan.

Ha ha Joe! Too much Yankme's in the 70's.

He gave me a ball signed by Harmon, and Satchel Paige who came through town on a barnstorming tour. He said you couldn’t see the ball after Satchel threw it, you just heard a ziiiiip, and then your hand went numb. About 20 other sigs. from players on the team, but only local farm kids.

Satchel Paige

Is very high on the list of guys I would have loved to see play. There are great stories about that guy. The only signed objects I have that are near and dear to me are a Johnny Bench jersey and a Mariners helmet signed by the entire 1993 team.

Wow! Talk about memorabilia! Johnny Bench is one of my favorites.

I took that baseball to a second grade show and tell. My teacher put it in a drawer in his desk for safe keeping. And later told me it had been stolen. I still think about going back and kicking his ass, but he’s about 80 now. Hopefully with lung cancer and hemorrhoids.

Fail at correctly replying. See above.
I was kinda hoping that Wlad and LaHair would make up 6 of Santana's 8 strikeouts.
Hey, can somebody link me to Jeff's "clown" flowchart?

Google is telling me to go fuck myself, apparently.

I've been looking for this also. NOLA recommended it.
Tadow

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/13785/clownthreatlevel.PNG

Oh, this is great
You are quick!
"Spread arms to appear larger, more threatening" = best line.

Either that or “Final Solution.”

Crap, maybe it's "whack off on corpses."
Ha ha ha ha!!
Did I mention that Strasburg is apparently perfect through 4 with 67% Ks?
Strasburg won't sign if either the M's or Nationals draft him.

He wants to go with the Padres.

We've got to tank better.
The Nats laugh at your puny attempts at failure.
Who're we playing?
The Dutch
They can't help striking out so much what with all their windmills acting like fans.
A+ for the reference but C- for the execution
I'm mailing it in until the offseason.
Maybe a change of scenery would help you out

I'm suddenly in the mood to write about ice hockey, beer and attractive women.
HC Lasselsberger Plzen has a crazy fan section
...

yep…still under $700 for a one-way ticket

That logo looks vaguely obscene.

I love it.

So you see how hard this is
Remember that e-mail conversation when I brought up doing series previews this year?

sigh

I can take over from you.

But I’m warning you, every alternate series preview will be nothing more than an unbroken string of profanity.

I can't believe there are still another six weeks of this
I hate seasons like this for making me long for them to end.

I hate life without baseball on everyday, but I hate my life when shitty baseball is on everyday and I have to care about it.

RAYS.

That’s how I cope.

Seasons like this make me resent being a blogger

I just want to be able to stop watching and turn to the Rays.

...what the hell was that?
Did Kendrick lose that in his glove?
No, he just screwed up.
What do you think

easy DP if he makes the turn? I’m on the fence.

Rizz thought he should have had that DP.
They are so good at fundamentals
But 1st to 3rd.
Uhhh, good one Howie.
I'm really enjoying listening to ambient game sounds with no idiot talking in my ear.

More of this please.

According to gameday Jeremy Reed is pitching to Jeff Mathis
That would be entertaining.
Speaking of which, anyone else think Micah Owings should convert from pitcher to anything other than pitcher?
HR derby thrower?
He's a serviceable pitcher and he's cheap
Yeah, it's really just a bad few months or so.

But he’s gonna get lit up like a Christmas tree pitching in GABP. Conversely, he has the ability to light up GABP like a Christmas tree hitting regularly in GABP.

He's an average NL SP.
Yay. Gameday Broke.
Yuni....

“SS”

More centered fastballs at the belt please
Man, Izturis has Felix's number...
It's the damndest thing,

It’s like when Felix starts LH out with cocked fastballs they get ripped.

This hypothesis baffles me.

This is exactly what we need.
Oh, that's not good...
Tampa Bay is fucked if they give up the lead in this game.

I’m beginning to think that Brad Ziegler’s ERA+ will remain infinite for the rest of the season.

Why the fuck is Felix still pitching
I was actually wondering that...
To complete the injury hopefully
So this has been a banner day for Eyebrows' namesake
Almost as good as the Oakland series early this year

when he homered in the first two games in a row.

There goes the perfecto
So....

do the M’s still have the “let him go” option on Washburn or does that have to be done right away when he’s claimed?

Still have it.
I feel bad for Felix.
I feel bad for people in AAA whose only hope in the short-term is joining this deathtaxi
Pinch run.

Oh wait we don’t have a backup outfielder yippee.

Cairowned
Not an outfielder.
False.
Out of the 1056 games he's played, he's logged 65 in the outfield.

Not an outfielder.

Just trade Ibanez already

Grant him the freedom we all wish we could have.

That was almost a riverdance Adrian
He reminds me of Fred Flintstone bowling
.

Green Riverdance?

Almost as awesome as Turk's Irish Brother dance.

“Top o’ the mizzle to ya me nizzles!”

Angel "fans" doing wave.

Batch o’ gays.

Tolerance!

For the wave I mean, the kids really like it.

Stupid reply button failure.
We at Looking Landing believe that children are annoying

And also that the wave sucks.

So Mighty Maicer has quickly become really annoying
He's been saying it all season.

I hate Rex Hudler.

At least Big Daddy Vladdy - while annoying - fits him

Mighty Maicer is just an embarrassment.

Hurry up and fail Jeffie. You know you want to.
Well look at that.
Selfish motherfucker
They can still get Felix a win!

Oh wait, not anymore.

LOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

This sure is a close game

For a team that does not know what it takes to win.

Bring in Silva from the bullpen
Clement hates Strasburg....

that’s the rumor.

Strasburg is quick, unselfish
Felix out, interest wanes

*wanes gone

I'm still keeping an eye out for Clement's next fuck up
Why aren't you watching the Olympic baseball game.

It is better.

Requires Silverlight installation for my Mac

Too much effort.

Strike, lefty strike, borderline strike
What causes these lefty strikes?
Institutional dumbassery.
I'm not actually sure

It blew my mind when I first read that article, but now that I’m looking out for them, you see them all the time.

That was one of the more eye-opening articles I've read about the game.
Oh good, here's a new guy. I cannot wait to see what this "Sean Green" character can bring to the table.
Sounds Jewy
I'm a fan of their pastrami sandwiches.
I'm a fan of their gold.
Don't tell Yuni
I wonder what a Cuban-made pastrami sandwich would taste like

besides heroin on bread.

Cascada playing in Beijing. :(
It's times like this I'm glad SBN2.0 got rid of the video embed feature
One of these days I'm going to find a gif of that song
I hate you Lopez.
It's only 5-4?

What really makes me worry about being able to make it 6 more weeks is when they expand the rosters. Who in the hell they going to bring up that’s worth watching? Aside from Tui?

Knowing this team Aumont and Fields
They're not even close to ready yet though, from what I'm reading.

Not like it matter the way this team is collapsing. They might be better than some of the people on the field right now.

It was a joke about this team rushing prospects
Bryce Harper
We should try calling up Strasburg just to see what happens
I'm beyond humor at this point. Really.

Might as well bring them up, I don’t even know if Fields has signed yet, but what the hell, let them see the life they could have if they make it. Then again, maybe keeping them as far away from this team as possible is a better idea.

And game off.

Go to hell Jimenez.

He throws everything sidearm you malfunctioning retard
Is a malfunctioning retard a normal person?
It's a double retard
Couldn't you just say Jeff Clement as same some time?
TEXTBOOK BASEBALL DOESN'T FLUB GIMME DOUBLE PLAYS AT SECOND BASE
I turned it off, who fucked up this time?
KENDRICK

BUT HUDLER HAS CONVENIENTLY FORGOTTEN

"Winning games."

“That’s what their plan is every day.”

RODRIGUEZ IS NOT THE BEST CLOSER IN THE GAME
Yes he is. :)
Closers are overrated.
I dunno, I think closers as consistent(YAY JOE MORGAN) as Franky are harder to find than you think.
K-Rod: 3.69 tRA

Worth 3 runs over average this season so far.

no no no no no no no no no
Did anyone see Green drop down on that 3-1 pitch?
Gameday didn't
Sorry, fucked up the reply button again.

Was making fun of Sexy Rexy and his infinite douche train.

Clement is playing catcher for the Netherlands
HUDLER IS DISAPPOINTING PROOF THAT WE DO NOT LIVE IN A MERIT-BASED SOCIETY
`

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2008/8/13/593302/8-13-open-game-thread-part#8094799

Perhaps the point is that nobody wants to hire people who choose to follow the Mariners

How smart could we possibly be?

It was defensible at the time I made the decision

and this just proves my loyalty.

Loyalty means nothing in the world of today
I hope you kids are writing this down
It takes everything you've got...
When the Mariners win the 2135 World Series

Your great-great grandchildren will think fondly of your loyalty.

Good thing Frankie isn't a complete tool or anything.
Well that's embarrassing
At least the Rays are winning
MIGHTY MAICER IS DOWN!!!

HE IS DOWN

Izzie out? Yuni could be wearing an A's uniform soon... ah sweet fantasy.
WHO'S GOT ENTHUSIASTIC EYEBROWS NOW MOTHERFUCKER
Leave him alone you big meany!!!
He should've left Felix alone

>:(

God I want Ichiro to power swing this motherfucker.
"So why not sacrifice them over"

WEHFIOAESHFAOISJFASFJNAWEOIUFNASOIFNAIOWFAWEOPIFHAWEOIUFHHITLERHITLERHITLERHITLERHITLERHITLER

Ichiro hurts his team by not getting himself out properly.
Reed will save us!
Scosciaiaiacscaia bitching about a call?

Where’s the surprised face?

HEY LOOK HE WAS SAFE
KEEP WHINING YOU IRRADIATED YOURSELF
Yeah but Yuni should've been out on the Hunter throw earlier
This is like every fucking save that Rodriguez ever gets.

Walks, line-outs, Torii Hunter climbing the wall, etc.

Fuck that little bitch.
Game needs more hotwings and blue cheese sauce.
WHAT DID I TELL YOU!!!!!!!
Drawing the wild pitch.

Sign of grit. Willie may be gone in body, but he’s here in spirit.

Yep, just like Willie

except for the whole extra base hit thing. I’m sure Willie will teach him to go for the bunt single in that situation next time.

REED REED REED REED REED REED!
OH LOOK A FUCKING WILD PITCH

surprised face

Silva applauds F-Rod for moving the runners over.
WHERE'S YOUR FUCKING SAVE RECORD YOU SPASTIC COCKY PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
I love this comment.
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

SUCK IT YOU MONKEYS

QUIT FALLING OFF THE GOD DAMN MOUND I HOPE YOUR FUCKING ARM BREAKS!!!!!!!
Ahahahaa fuck you rodriguez.
Second that. Fuck you, Frankie.
I turned Howl on when K-Rod came in

I found his antidote!

Cool soothing acoustics?
Go back to making one-out saves, bitch.
He's only 50/50 on those so far this year.
K-ROD CANNOT HANDLE THE PRESSURE OF A PENNANT RACE!

THIS PROVES IT!

This game means absolutely nothing to either of us but still hey great
AHH WHY AM I MISSING A GOOD GAME AGAINST THE ANGELS!
HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU K ROD
This is a lot of GTE

for a stupid stat like saves.

Hate

The Angels.

FUCK OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT WALLOW IN YOUR FALIURE YOU MISERABLE FUCKER!!!! GO CRY AT DISNEYLAND WITH YOUR GAY ASS FANS!!!!!
Present Angel fans are excluded

from previous classification.

I turned my tv off so WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!?
Franky blew the save. And just got tossed.
Frankie did.
This fills me with joy.

Sorry.

You're missing out. This ho hum game just got hot.
Ah ha ha ha ha !!!

Ball taken away, and tossed.!!!

KRod is lucky he has a head still after that hit
TRADE TRADE TRADE!!!!!!!

RAUL CAN HELP YOU WIN IN THE PLAYOFFS WHOEVER CLAIMED HIM

Fat-cheeked whiny asswagon
AHAHAHAHAHA I DIDN'T GET THE SAVE BECAUSE FOR ONCE I DIDN'T GET LUCKY AS SHIT SO I'LL BITCH

AT THE UMP JUST LIKE MY FAT FUCK MANAGER LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY MY NAME IS FRANKIE RODRIGUEZ!!!!

Funny how saves don't tell you anything

but blown saves are somewhat useful.

I submit the inclusion of a new category

Saves
Blown saves
Blown saves against Seattle

I see your category and raise you one

Wins
Losses
Wins vs. Seattle (worthless)
Wins vs King Felix (worth 2)

I like how they were booing him

Seriously guys pick a side

Welcome to Anaheim.

Come for the racist animation kingdom, stay for the rats and shallow vapid people.

Scioscia for pulling him? The ump? or K-Rod's performance?
I'd be booing him.

Fuck that guy.

I know you would

but I imagine the people at the stadium are the same people who’re all about him being the best closer in baseball.

Yeah fuck them too.
I like you

You can stay.

HE SAVED THE 2007 ALL STAR GAME HE IS SOOOOO GOOD OH MY GOD I KNOW THAT IT'S ONLY THE 6TH INNING BUT

THE HILLS IS COMING ON I NEED TO LEAVE!!!

Awww...hell with it.

2-3-4 hitters due up

Either way, we’re not going much longer.

Eh, the angels are good at scoring 1 run.
But now you have Teixeira
True.

But that means someone has to be on. Or Tex and Vlad.

Sounds good to me
Halfway there!
One more! Come on.
In all my joy for the blown save I just remembered.

Felix off the hook.

He was off the hook last inning.
He was off the hook back in the 8th.
That already happened.
The previous pitch to Cairo was a ball that was called a strike
Hip Hip
Jarrod Washburn confirmed that he was told today that he’s been claimed on waivers.

-Dave Cameron
I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.
This is good reporting.
Half this team only cares about putting up its numbers
The other half only cares about putting down hot dogs.

We’re going half by mass.

The other half cares about giving Frankie numbers.

Like, Blown saves: 5

Ok, that mission accomplished. If y'all want to go ahead and lose now I'd be ok with it.
What percentage of K-Rod's strikes are of the looking variety?

I watch him pitch, and I have no idea why people swing. It all seems to break into the dirt.

33% (career)

27% is the league average

HHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Jesus.

This wasn't supposed to be a reply.
OK so I'm wrong.
F-Rod giving up 3 runs with a 2 run lead in the 9th

is Guardadoesque.

HAhahahahahaha
bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I guess this means Vlad has to homer now.
Putzenbomber!
Whatever.

No save for F-Rod.

HAHAHA

awesome.

Absolutely hilarious

Now just don’t go too long into extras. Some of us are still recovering from the meteor shower.

but Jamie Burke might pitch
I have to write and sleep and hold a job
jobs are overrated

you should just get federal grant monies to drive highways

Hey it's a bitch when you're trying to win a game and someone catches your hard hit ball

isn’t it Torrii?

Dammit Torii

Weight room.

Get sypihilis Torii
JJ does not seem good at pitching anymore
Rumor: Morrrow coming back to close.
You better have a source for that.
3 outs on 4 pitches?

Did the angels all lose their minds when F-Rod got tossed?

Do you ever watch the Angels?
Yuni would be a better fit than we think
Apparently not enough.

I guess I thought no team had more free swingers than we do.

My playlist turned over to Black Sabbath right when Putz entered.

I think the Mariners will win every game as long as I play BRMC on a continual loop.

Extra Innings GO GO GO
Okay now I'm just pissed off

the last thing I need to deal with is extra fucking innings

Only 6 pitches.
shit shit shit

Missed Tex’s at bat, what was the pitch count when he went yard? My gameday is eff’d.

So Mark Teixeira has killed us while playing for two different teams this season.

Wonderful.

When I see Mark Teixeira's face, the word that comes to mind is "douchechill"

He just LOOKS like a prick. I dunno, maybe I’m being unfair.

Also Jason Bay is horrible-looking
I yield to no man when it comes to my hatred of every Red Sox player except maybe Schilling.

And yet I think Teixeira is more of an asshole than Pedroia. At least Pedroia’s teammates apparently like him. Word was that Teixeira was a dark unhappy presence in the Rangers’ clubhouse.

I'm just basing it on appearance, not actual personality
I am too. As dickish as Pedroia looks, Teixeira looks way more dickish.

Though to be fair Papelbon outdicks them both.

Game over

Absolutely, irrefutably, 100% right.

That photo fairly screams “White Power Bill.”

Youk looks like a philosophy major just tryin' to pay for school. He's cool with me.
In a live-action Simpsons film, Youkilis plays Snake

“Oh-ho! Goodbye student loan payments!”

Exactly! Snake is awesome!
I do kinda get that vibe.

Though I’ve liked the way he’s handled the media.

Fuck this Fuck this Fuck this Fuck this
I think I hate Torii Hunter even more for not homering
This team has done awful things to you.
The Mariners haven't been kind to him either.
I'm not the one in control here

This is entirely their fault.

Try as I might, I just can't bring myself to hate Torii Hunter.

Sure, he’s a bit a of a gladhander, but fuck it…he’s a likable dude. Grossly overpaid, but hey good for him.

He does seem like one of those guys who has a ton of fun playing the game

like Beltre.

I "unfortunately" liked him when he was a Twin...

I don’t know where my opinion stands currently…

Still kind of awesome, but plays for the enemy; grudgingly hated.
Golden Sombrero? Hey, a free hat.
I just saw a Chinese athlete hilariously botch his dismount from the rings at the Olympics

You think the Chinese government euthanizes their losing athletes? That would be totally cool if so.

How Mayan of them
No. I do not think they do that.
That makes me sad.
Skate or die, dudes!
I guess that would be Winter olympics, though.
I think you mean the better Olympics.
What, roller-skating isn't an Olympic sport?
Roller Derby should be an Olympic sport.
Watching Rollerball should be an Olympic sport.
The LL Coll J version, I assume?

The original is awesome.

Yes.
Never saw the LL Cool J one, for obvious reasons.

The 70’s one is great.

I heard a Chinese rower missed one of his heats today because he got the schedule confused.

I’ve got five bucks he’s applying for amnesty in some other country.

Five says he goes into the Memory Hole.
This is good/funny to hear

After last night hearing how wonderfully perfect the Chinese woman’s gymnastics team was constantly

Oh, they've blown a lot of stuff tonight.

It makes me feel all patriotic and shit.

I seem to always get on the Olympics bandwagon every 2 years

Including the feelings of being patriotic and GO AMERICA…and all that shit…been rooting for Australia too when the U.S. has no chance…we sucked this year in eventing (equestrian)

I root for Australia pretty much every chance I get.

Every Australian I’ve spent time with has kicked miles of ass and been an incredible drinking buddy.

Haven't done the drinking thing with Aussies yet (am newly 21) but yes, every Aussie I have met has been amazing

And it was the BEST time when I went there…seriously considering trying to move there even tho I hear it’s a bitch for Americans

Golden sombrero weeee.
strike out more often please Wlad.
Golden Sunbrero'd
Sexson's soul has invaded Wlad
Sexson has no soul.
NO!!

insert horrified emoticon here

Rally Yuni
He's definitely a fit now!

AHHHHHHH NUKE IT!!!
This has become funnier
It's a Chernobyl monkey.
Where the fuck does this come from?

Is it real? Is it an immensely clever photoshop? I love it for being so perverse.

It is real.
How delightfully WRONG.
At least Izturis isn't on deck
OH GOD DAMMIT END
I HAVE OBSCURE BEERS TO RAVE ABOUT, END NOW!!!
These damn games shouldn't go into the "post-game coverage" time!

Not this year anyway…JUST END…

Some of us have jobs, fuckers!

Somebody lose already!

Some of us have two jobs, one of which being directly dependent on the conclusion of this game
You could just say "fuck it" and steal the chart from Fan Graphs.
Don't worry I got you covered.

The other day I realized…blah blah….I stopped caring about the Mariners early this season…this game gave me something to care about…Yuni sucks, trade him…Slow Clement….Fuck Frankie he blows hahahaha he sucks.

www.fangraphs.com

Picture.

There I just saved you some time. [oh god please don’t box me]

I hope you don't expect royalties for this later on
He's cracked the formula!
Some of us have really busy jobs we're not getting paid for!
Fuck this Fuck this Fuck this Fuck this Fuck this Fuck this Fuck this Fuck this
Have we played a high amount of extra-inning games this year?

If so GOD

It really does seem like it.
I don't think so

I think they just seem worse since the only reason we watch is to see the games end.

Isn't that a good thing

meaning that, even though we are losing, we take alot of these games to extras.

It seems like half the time I go to the ballpark it goes into extra innings...
0/6 he has clearly lost it.
Rays win, btw.

Go Rays.

Bless you
Did the Red Sox win as well?
There seem to be a lot of Red Sox fans in western Montana, and they seem to be knowledgable.

I’ve been getting a lot of glares directed at my Rays hat.

It seems there are a lot of BoSox fans EVERYWHERE bwah

You live in Montana? That’s cool! I did some horse shows there…

Nope, just on vacation.

I live in Seattle.

Gotcha...what do yo8u do there?

Go cow-tipping?

Drinking delicious beers and soaking in the amazing.
If he were always 3-4 Physioc he would be a career .750 hitter
The M's finish hard against good teams makes me think the FO will think they're close to having a team.
Adam Dunn endorses the MLB.com shop in a way that suggests he doesn't really care about MLB.com or its shop
I find A.J Burnett to be less enthusiastic than Dunn.
BJ Upton was supposed to endorse the MLB.com shop but he couldn't summon the energy to create sound with his vocal cords.
I cherish this meme
We've been lucky so far

The entries have generally been well done.

Sub audible. You guys need to be more PC around here.

Kidding, but I have these horrible kneejerk reactions to bust out some off color humor that I’ve seen from other people, but would probably not be tolerated from me.

Are you not familiar with the "BJ Upton is lazy" meme?

It’s been raging like a brushfire here on LL recently.

Totally!! Some funny shit, that one about the instructions on his box of food killed me.

I counterpoint it with stupid shit like ‘conservation of motion’. What I really want to say is, ‘Get off my porch. Monkey.’ But I’ve watched ‘Blazing Saddles’ waaaayy to many times. ‘Mash’ the movie also.

Better to stay away from that variety of joke.
That line is a bit too fuzzy for me, so I steer clear. And I shouldn't have put that junk up there either.

REC'D FOR ACCURACY.

But you know what? We need a new version of this. Tits is not long for this world. Which player is the best candidate to have Joel/Mike & the Bots superimposed over him?

Gotta be Silva, right?

3-inning Silva?

I am thinking so

God dammit Tex
Yeah you fucker 2 home runs is for little bitches.

Can’t hit a third?

That would be awesome if I wanted you to do that
OH MY GOD

12th inning go

Good, the twelfth

I hate baseball games that are completed in a timely fashion

GOD GOD GOD GOD
Further proof their are no atheists in foxholes.

You made me spit 7-Up out of my nose with that Fuckthis thing above.

I aim to please
Wow, this is almost as exciting as that Rockies/Padres one-game playoff

Or that Raiders Of The Lost Ark truck sequence.

Somebody hit something 400 feet
Does it have to be fair?
Close
I'm getting good at this

Text message exchange:

Mariners! fuck k rod! 
[9:39]Me: ahahahahahahaha weeeeeeee
[9:41]Friend: sunshine and lollipops motherfuckers!
[9:44]Me: It'll be spectacular when jj blows this
[9:46]Friend: Espns top story favre has fatigue in throwing arm
[9:46]Me: bahahahaha
[9:47]Friend: santa maria i thought you were laughing about favre
Retry

(9:38) Friend: Mariners! fuck k rod!
(9:39) Me: ahahahahaha weeeeeeee
(9:41) Friend: sunshine and lollipops motherfuckers!
(9:44) Me: It’ll be spectacular when jj blows this
(9:46) Friend: Espns top story favre has fatigue in throwing arm.
(9:47) Me: ahahahaha
(9:47) Friend: santa maria i thought you were laughing about favre

Is your friend Matt Vasgergian?
He is a Padres fan
'Santa Maria' is a great tagline.
One of my favorites
Especially considering how white Vasgersian is.
He's white ina very self aware sort of way, though.
Is it accurate to call him Dutch since he's from Curacao?

If so, that gets him some White Points.

OK, I'm an idiot.

I was thinking this was part of the Wlad discussion below, in which I also made a whiteness joke.

DAMMIT SO GODDAMN CLOSE
Whoa, people keep doing that tonight.
I'm going to be so goddamn pissed when we fail to score this run.
We're pinch hitting with Tug Hulett.

GOD

Who will catch now?

Will Joh come in?

WOOOOO TUGGER

Were gonna be here a while

SQUEEEEEZEEEEEE
God Damnit

What part of “lost season play the kids!” don’t these fuckers understand?

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW HE'S SCRAPPY AND PLAYS THE GAME HARD YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HIM PLAY
JUST BECAUSE HE'S A MOTHERFUCKING LITTLE WHITE GUY HOW IS THIS NOT RACIST
There's institutionalized racism in baseball?

DEFINITIVE PROOF OF RACISM IN BASEBALL, RIGHT THERE.
Damn I'm late. But we're on the same page.

Hilarious.

Simple algorithm

If skin = white AND OBP < .300 then scrappy = true

"Pretty good....... hitter though"
Fucking brilliant you fucking cocksuckers.
FUCK EVERYTHING I HATE THIS TEAM
Never leave us Tuglett
Holy shit he looks like a skinhead
I was kind of surprised when I first saw him.
I figured him for a moptop
White Power Tug?

I think a character named “White Power Tug” would be perhaps the most lovable jailhouse skinhead ever.

Yes by all means don't PH the RH with 4 K's on the night.

What. The. Fuck.

Well Fuck me very much then.
Whatever.

Just strikeout for the fifth fucking time.

If 3 is a hat trick and 4 is a golden sombero

what’s 5?

A Sexson Setson?

Platinum, I think.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WHAT THE FUCK??
WWLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID

COULDN'T CATCH THAT ONE YOU SLY MOTHERFUCKER
I love this comment.
Even I have to rec that.
OKAY WHO HERE EXPECTED THAT?
Four strikeouts and a homer?

That’s almost exactly what I expect of Wlad every day.

That

Was nowhere near the sweet spot of the bat.
Wlad might have some power.

Oh dear God.

Golden Sunbrero Game Deciding Home-Run.

FUUUUUUCCCKK
OH NOES YOUR LEAD WILL SHRINK TO ONLY 14 GAMES.
Well let's be real, that means nothing to you guys
Yeah I know.

Just after you watch a game this long you kinda want the win.

Also, that was more of a Holy Fuck that was a good hit more than Fuck we’re gonna lose.

It's funny how fast your division lead turned boring
It's not August 25th yet.
Yeah

I’m looking forward to seeing the Salt Lake team in September. Woo.

You know were gonna find a way to blow this
IF ONLY FRANKIE RODRIGUEZ WAS CLUTCH THIS GAME WOULD OVER OH WELL LOOK IT'S THE RALLY MONKEY

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tits is an experienced closer. We should use him
IF TORII HAD CAUGHT THAT

I WOULD HAVE JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING WINDOW.

Washburn in?

Game Over.

I was fully expecting Torii to catch that.
Can we send Washburn in to close?

Just for old time’s sake? Maybe he can walk the bases full then give up a tater as a parting gift.

So......

Wlad showed a lot of grit fighting through a rough night there eh?

He only cares about his numbers
But the perseverance!!
Grit?

Wladdy Ballgame?

Way too big and unwhite.

Also, too few groundouts.

But he plays whatever position the team asks.

CF, RF, DH, bad first name speller, etc.

Too much power as well.
Holy shit look at that welt.
Thank you for showing us vibrating arm fat, FSN
Gotta use the high-speed camera for something.
Was Silva warming up for the 13th?
FSN only broadcasts the important parts of the game

Like pitchers spitting up a loogy

seattlebruin is at this game

I hope he didn’t leave early.

I doubt it.

He was pretty damn hyped.

Have a nice drive home

You air headed shits.

The roads down here are conveniently extra wide
Yeah but that 57 to the 5 is a bitch.
Ah....I see.

Whoooosh

This is one of those rare ten-minute windows during which I love this team and everyone on it
EVERYone?

haha

Everyone that played

Somebody find a good picture of Silva looking downcast on the mound after another massive failure

We need a new MST3K picture.

Silva never looks downcast on the mound on account of he's always giving his best
He's too busy looking at his teammates, trying to decide which one to blame.
I'd also like a photoshop of someone holding Silva by his neck and slamming him into a wall

Man I wish I knew how to do that stuff.

Why use Photoshop when you can use a camcorder, Youtube, and an otherwise inactive Wily Mo Pena?
This is hilarious.
Best I could find

I love how Rick Griffith is in the background.
Biggest reason to hate him?

Id have to go with the fact he gets 50 million dollars while Felix got lowballed.

That or the fact that Silva has very similar features to Judge Elizabeth Halverson.

Its a toss up.

They should renegotiate Felix like yesterday. I can't imagine him on another team.
Savor it, Jeff.

You’ve earned it.

I'm telling you, you gotta put these games under glass, pretend their the whole season.

Dissociation, they teach it in POW training I think.

delusionat
(-Adj.) 1. the state of mistakenly believing a Jim Bowden-run baseball team will be able to compete
WTF man? You just taking shots at me for the fun of it now?
Typo played right into it
Ah, didn't even notice the typo at first.
I'm wasting my clever
I broke my keyboard
Thank God.

Olympics time.

Hardly the usual

Mariner result.

Game's over, so...

Kettlehouse Brewing Cold Smoke Scotch Ale is the best Scoth Ale I have ever had. McEwan’s Belhaven, Oskar Blues, blah blah blah…seriously. It’s amazing.

I'm jealous...enjoy
Oh God, it's so good.

Montana is holding out on us, people. There’s some great beer here that you can’t get anywhere else.

It's not even that high ranked but I do like Big Sky beers like Moose drool
I gave it a 10/10 on Rate Beer.

It’s amazing.

Had that bottled up for a few innings?

Somebody in an off topic thread I missed was asking about a hoppy IPA, I wanted to recommend Big Time Brewery Scarlett Fire.

Ruination, Victory Hop Whallop, Dogfish Head 90 Minute, Speakeasy Big Daddy
Tried that Speakeasy last week.

My search to replace Grant’s Sottish Ale will never cease.

Those are pretty different.

Try Belhaven Wee Heavy, though

For a Scottish Ale, Grant's was all hops, but finished pretty light.

Best finish I’ve ever tasted off an ale, not so much the bitter that follows the hop flavor. Closest I’ve come to finding a close approximation are the IPA’s.

That sounds delicious, but not what I expect from a Scotch Ale.

I want malt, hops, smoke, malt from a Scotch Ale.

It was unique, but maybe I'm biased since it was my first micro brew.

Back in ‘92 everybody (underage) in Yakima was drinking Keystone Light, $3.69 a 12 pack. People would bum beers like crazy, so I started drinking Grant’s, like the 3rd micro brew in the state, located right there in town. Everybody hated it, I acquired a taste for microbrews… I could seriously padded a 401k with the money…

Eeek Keystone Light is the good stuff

For shotguns and beer pong anyway…

In Pullman (WSU) Busch Light is the “Pullman Water”

As long as it's cold...

Always gotta find the upside to a situation.

It's taken me four years to break the poor beer-drinking habits I picked up in Pullman.
Ha! No kidding, but that bar on the corner downtown had some good selection.

Can’t remember the name of it, I rented a studio on Oak St from the guy that owns it. My whole crowd should have probably started our own AA group. Not like there’s anything else to do there except ski. Oh, and study.

Not today, Gents.

LAAAAAAMEEEEE!!!

LAMELAMELAMELAMELAME

Too bad you LA fuckers.

It’s ok, USC football starts soon you can jump back on that bandwagon.

Yuni saw that and started screeching

They don’t like to see their own

Imagine what Yuni would do if he saw one of these:

Try to eat it?
If I make noise..

Budweiser will come? Well okay…

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