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Time To Play "Count The Meaningful Statements" With Buster Olney

In this post, Olney introduces the idea of John Lackey joining the Mariners. Exciting! Lackey is great and would help restore some of the team smelliness we lost with the departure of Justin Thomas. Here is the phrasing Olney used in delivering his point:

  • Seattle could land Lackey
  • potential sleeper team
  • timing is right
  • Lackey might find the Mariners attractive
  • Mariners...appear to have the financial room

Per usual, there's no actual tie in there, and not even any anonymous sourcing. Olney just wrote about a couple reasons why the Mariners may choose to get involved, which is a post you could write about any team in baseball. "A's may seek veteran workhorse to lead stable of talented ponies." "Rays could make splash in effort to keep up with beasts of the East." "Marlins considering uncharacteristic acquistion of Major League pitcher." It's a post that takes time to say nothing, and while I get that this is part of Olney's job, and while nothing he says is actually incorrect, it's important to realize that Olney's post didn't tell us anything we didn't already know.

Honestly, the Mariners probably will get involved in the Lackey talks. It will last all of one phone call.

Mariners: We would like to offer your client $X.
Lackey's Agent: My client would like $Y.
Mariners: Your client smells.
Lackey's Agent: You smell.

It would be irresponsible of the M's not to at least find out Lackey's asking price, but as the prize of the free agent market, Lackey's going to command a lot of money, money that should be going to another, better starting pitcher the Mariners already have. In the event that Zduriencik and Nero can't agree to anything and Felix gets traded, I could see Z displaying more interest, but even then, Lackey's a 31 year old who's probably looking at a big five- or six-year contract, and I don't see the Mariners trying to compete with that kind of offer.

John Lackey is a neat idea. But he's a neat idea for every team in baseball, some of whom have more money, a more aggressive general manager, or more money and a more aggressive general manager. Don't get your hopes up.

2 recs  |  23 comments

Comments

My hope is that we stay far away from John Lackey.
The smell would sort of dictate that, no?
The is about a 0% chance of Lackey becoming a Mariner
Based on this I am more qualified to be an ESPN columnist
Based on what?

The typo in the very first word you wrote?

They get editors
But the two sides aren't that far apart!

That’s only one letter difference between $X and $Y. Surely Z can work something out.

Keep it up and I'm gonna throw a Busey at your head.
I'll be ecstatic when he ends up somewhere else

so I won’t be tempted to exact vengeance for the 2002 WS.

When he's ready to lose the mole, I'd be ready to start talking.
I wouldn't mind Lackey on a 3 year deal.

But Lackey isn’t going to take a 3 year deal, so no thanks.

I wish I had Buster Olney's job
Do not want.

There are better ways for the team to spend our free agent money, before or after the Felix extension. Like on, you know, that mythical offense thing.

Because you only evaluated the 2009 Mariners based on smell, I am not sure I agree with you that Lackey smells.
I thought about evaluating every team by smell but then I realized how long it takes to do one of them
Plus your nose would probably hurt more than after all the crack
I have some bad news for you.
*coke
Actually, it would probably hurt a lot if you snorted a ton of crack
There is no other baseball player

That could possibly smell worse. I assume he smells like a mix of the city bus, a bowl of grape nuts, kools, and the smell of a bathtub fart.

Columnist throws shit at wall, observes what sticks
I think you guys are missing something here.

Noted Mariner blogger Jason Churchill is taking this a lot more seriously.

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