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Lookout Landing

3/12: Open Game Thread

Listen live at 1:05. Here are your lineups. It's interesting and hilarious to see that many Texas starters taking the field against Jarrod Washburn. Also here's an article where Jon Papelbon compares Manny Ramirez to cancer. Whoever wrote that up missed a golden opportunity to make Jon Lester really uncomfortable.

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Comments

Because if it's anything Papelbon needs...

…it’s more attention!

Pants.
Papelbon needs pants?

Am I the only one who thinks he looks like Ricky Schroeder?
I’m sorry, “Rick”….?

Low class joke alert

better to be a clubhouse cancer than the guy in the clubhouse with cancer, amirite?

(I feel bad for thinking that one up)

I live for the day when Lester becomes a clubhouse cancer.
Michael Young at 3B

Is this likely to carry over to the regular season?

Yes

He is not happy about it though.

He should be happy he's bankrupting the team

instead of being on the 3/21 contract he deserves

Interesting

he’s a butcher with the glove at SS, but doesn’t he derive most of his offensive value from being a “SS”?

I think he derives most of his offensive value from Arlington.
Right right.
Most years his defensive horribleness has wiped out his positional value and then some.

Last year he was only -2.6 defensively. He was actually worth twice as much as he got paid. Weird.

Holy shit you're right.

Last year was the first year of his contract extension though right?

It’s all downhill from here.

Actually it only kicks in now
Oh yeah, still an awful deal and his defensive numbers are an outlier.

Still interesting.

Remember when Buck Martinez said Jon Lester was the best pitcher in baseball during the ALCS?

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2008/10/13/634215/10-13-open-alcs-game-3-thr#9353175

Did that really happen?
Griffey, per Drayer:

“Bedard doesn’t have a butt, you can believe me”
what?

I have all these photos that say otherwise...
White people are all the same
They're all "DOOT-DE-DOOT"
Jr has always been very conscious of his own boo-tay, and of those belonging to others.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I don’t know why, but I seriously almost fell out of my seat laughing at that. Why? Couldn’t tell ya.

Dustin Pedroia somehow makes me hate him even more in the MLB 09 The Show commercials
I love the commercials

if only because they help me hate Pedroia more and the response of the dude is awesome.

Also

at least Pedroia has some form of personality. Lincecum and virtual Lincecum have about the same level of personality.

But Lincecum is awesome
Well if I was picking players I'd rather have on my team

then Lincecum would get the nod over Pedroia every day of the week.

I like how the latest post on Drayer's blog

refers to Aumont’s pitching against Pedroia… and the catcher called for a high inside fastball.

Randy Johnson made that commercial.

“He needs to put a towel on.”

I think it's funny
You're just jealous that you wer're completely wrong about him not being the MVP
That would have been so much better

had I whipped up a “Biased Curruth” screen name.

Biased Carruth says...

You wouldn’t be so damn upset if it were a Mariner in that commercial. BIASED!

I think Angel fans already hijacked that one.
wer're? seriously?
It's the new slang, Paul.
Based on pitch F/X

Pedroia hit .281 on fastballs in the upper and inside third of the strikezone

This seems liek a different argument entirely
I love those commercials
I know everyone benefits from the Band Box at Arlington...

but how much do you think Kinsler benefits? I mean, Arlington has basically made Michael Young a household name, but I think Kinsler could flourish in any stadium.

Kinsler could be good anywhere but Texas makes him look terrific, per usual
Road numbers career

.259/.330/.422/.752

Home numbers career:
.321/.390/.525/.915

And that's a damn-near even split.

The Ballpark at Arlington: making superstars out of average players since 1994.

People generally hit worse on the road anyway
160 points of OPS worse?
Well no, but you can't take road splits solely as the guy's true talent level.
I did think it interesting that he's player 186 road games and 185 games at home.

I don’t know why, but I did.

More often then not teams play half their games at home and half their games on the road.
And playing "The Natural" theme for scrubs that just hit a cheap HR.
Better than Shea cranking out "Soulja Boy"
Soulja boy's not as bad as the Fox Sports Network theme for good catches in OF in Arlington.

And at least Shea lets the “Superman that ho!” line play, while Safeco censors it.

I want the funk, though, you know what I'm saying?
I really hope they bring this back for a third go-around.

It’s kind of a Safeco field staple at this point.

That doesn't take into account the road stadium's parks though.

I’m not saying Arlington doesn’t inflate his numbers, but home/road splits don’t paint the full picture.

Personal catcher!
Every Texas Rangers commercial

is about Josh Hamilton.

Holy crap

Another one. And they all talk about Josh Hamilton homers.

Nose candy commercials?
We've got a bucket of nose clams, fresh from the sea. Sweet delicious nose clams that are looking for a home if you follow me.
They play him in Center field to keep him away from the white lines.
But then he has to be off with the crack of the bat.
That must caost them, like, 20 runs a year
Hey have we done our player projections for this season yet???
Oh my

Rangers copying the Dodgers with all you can eat seats.

This is a bad idea in Texas.
Go Rangers!

110 degree heat + All-you-can-eat dogs

I’m glad I don’t work in janitorial services at TBPiA.

Fucking

gross dude.

Padres are doing it, too.
There was an article on Slate last year

about what the experience is like.

Is it my imagination or does Washburn commit an above average number of throwing errors?
Anyone have a gameday link?
Why do they make them so damned hard to find?
Only the finest and most clever can follow gameday.
.

Alternatively:

Rec'd

because I think it’s awesome, and funny, and I’ve never seen it before.

As a side note, it’s funny you can “unrec” things here. So Kevin, if you EVER piss me off, prepare to be unrec’d with fury.

The bird, not Cartmen.
I'll walk the line.
3-0 in the 4th inning?

I take it Washburn has already worked his magic….

I think you misunderstand that this game isn't a 16 year old girl.
Did you know Carlos Silva is fat?
Silva fat jokes have been dead meme'd for months.
As have Washburn pedophile jokes.
The joke is how laboured the setup is
Get

Washburns pedophilic ass off the team. Now. Please.

Y'know...

I’m afraid I must have missed out on Jarrod Washburn’s…uh…paedophilia….? What?

Miguel Batista is a side armer now?
Why the hell not?
Batista's secret

Finally reveals itself!

He's actually left handed?
Throws better with his foot.
Yeah, but left or right?
At that point it doesn't matter.
Texas Rangers

built for speed, built for power, built for fun!

Washburn and Batista pitched and we only gave up 4 runs?
And I think Satan just bought his hockey skates.
Wait, Josh Hamilton had a drug problem?
Yeah, Rick Reilly broke the story during the Home Run Derby last year.
Crazytown.
This is a strange two-way whooshing.
I was kidding.

He wouldn’t stop yelling about it while Hamilton was hitting all the homers. Pretty much 20 minutes of “Did you know he used to be a crackhead?!?”

AND NOW HE'S AT THE HOME RUN DERBY!
I NEED TO GO WRITE UP AN ARTICLE ABOUT THIS IN WHICH I USE THE STORY OF SOME POOR 16 YEAR OLD GIRL

TO DEMONSTRATE HOW COLD THE WORLD CAN BE UNTIL SPORTS INTERVENES.

Make sure there's a real villain in this story

perhaps the mean high school coach who cut the one-armed sixteen year old girl from the state champion varsity softball team

Hamilton's drug use cost her that arm.
I thought it was A-rod deciding not to play for her team that cost her the arm
No, that's the reason children are starving in Mongolia.
No I'm aware you were both kidding, it just was a strange sequence in all.

Reilly is a wack.

Every time I see his face on espn.com

with that little whimsical smile, I hate him a little more.

Damn it, Corco.
Messenger 4 Closer.
I want to go fishing with Roy Corcoran.
Mike Morse playing catcher? Or is this another Gameday glitch?
No, he's just hitting for Burke

so until he takes the field, he’s listed in Burke’s position.

Oh, Gameday specifically said that he was remaining in the game at catcher.
Unfortunately, no audio unless I want to broadcast it across a cafe.
Yeah, they still aren't changing it, there's no other C in the line-up....

didn’t Bloomquist do this one spring?

Gameday says Moore

not Morse.

That's Moore like it.
They changed it then.
Yes, they changed it - and this makes much more sense.
Mike Sweeney hit a homerun?

Holy crap.

anyone know about those new photoshop skills the Rangers announcers are talking about?

I need to learn them so I can take pictures of my teenagers borrowing my Lexus.

SO now the M's are putting up much a fight I'm watching the new South Park episode...
I really liked Mickey's cameo.
All I could think about was Disney lawyers racing each other to come up with a lawsuit
South Park would become the most televised show in the nation after that publicity hit the fan
Now they need to get him into the WWE .

THE BOSS IS HERE!

I liked the whole thing, particularly the ending
It was the first time I remember them using faggot in a episode even though they have done it in the past.
How does Smoak look. Dammit I wanted him in Seattle.
You really are a cock maven, aren't you?
You obviously missed the tattoo on my forehead that reads "cock maven."
yes yes yes
You're like Johnny Cockmaven Seed
I really prefer hear wild speculation on M's prospects

…but the Rangers got some good-looking kids on the field. Kids that nail Triunfel.

what they do in their spare time is no business of ours.
You're a gentleman.
I just got my cock maven tattoo replaced with GENTLEMAN

works better at the holidays around the relatives, too.

Your sig makes me think it's pdb every time.
yuniform and I have never been seen in the same place at the same time

makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

I forgot Nolan Ryan talked liked that.

Usually, his fists speak for him.

I actually attended the famous Robin Ventura game

One of the top 5 highlights of my life.

You are my hero sir

that would have been awesome.

Every once in a while, it's therapeutic to beat the shit out of a man with a girl's name.
Lookout Leslie Nielsen, I'm coming for you
He's a much safer choice than the Lopez twins at any rate.
Leslie Nielsen is about the only other human being I could take in a fight

i’m a bad fighter.

I assume that is 2009-era Leslie.

Because 1970s Leslie was a Bad Ass.

I don't fight in the past

I only operate in the present day. 1970’s Nielsen would have broken me in half.

I lost count of how many evil schemes he hatched in the 70s.
The world could really use more super villians.
Dude, where's my economy?

You’re welcome.

I seriously can’t believe you people actually fell for credit default swaps.

I hope that's not the new name of the site

Lookout Leslie would be terrible

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