Lookout Landing

www.failures.org

Beautiful

Here

Link

Thank you

According to Jeff

Still swinging

Free Jeff Clement!

Nice throw, Bob.

Clement can make a better throw than that...

I think…

My nana could've thrown the ball better than that

You suck, Rob

The bad pitching is contagious, it's spreding to our catcher.

Catchers don't pitch

That depends

Except for Jason Motte

And if were talking about Booby Abreu being a homo amirite

youaresorite

Bobby Abreu and Carlos Silva are considerably overweight, and on off days they have all-male heterosexual intercourse with each other.

Can anyone confirm this?!

When they're not having sex they're checking Brandon Morrow's blood sugar.

My goal is to create one huge, 5,000-word joke that uses as many annoying things as possible.

It will be horribly long and unfunny.

Like the gold gold house joke!

You'll get recs for the attempt

That's so true it's pathetic

Go on...

Maybe that's what Joe Saunders was looking at

Pics or didn't hapen

I blew this joke by typing "heterosexual."

Freudian Slip

And I thought you were one of us

It was a setup.

You blew it like Bobby Abreu blows many, many males.

Did you just use that on yourself

I did the setup on purpose. The "you blew it" was improv.

Poorly worded comment, my bad.

I tried to say the pitchers were making mistakes and now those mistakes are spreading to our catcher.

Save for...

Burke

He's our last hope.

Unless Jeff Clement gets the call up. I’m just excited for the day Adam Moore makes it to Seattle.

This inning is taking far too long

I want to fast forward to the part where we lose

So that was weird.

Sims:Joe Saunders has really stuck it to them…."
DirectTv commercial that lists 1.5 seconds: “POUND FOR POUND”
Sims: Continues.

That could be great product placement, going forward...

So are you going to send them a Thank You email now?

No, I'll just continue to send them money.

I will say this for DirecTV, whenever I have ever had any problems(which have been few) their customer service has always been quick and effective.

Who is at the game

Please smack that girl in the hideous brown UGGs behind home plate for me.

dude

Violence against women is rarely cool

Unless of course, they're tastelessly dressed.

what

This makes me sick.

wrong

.Taylor - April 17, 2009 reply

Seemed like sarcasm to me

OlSalty - April 17, 2009 reply

This might be one of the times when it's okay.

How do you think I broke my hand?

let's agree to disagree

MARKKKY MARK LOWE!

That was an awesomely bad swing

And makes me feel even worse that this offense has abused us tonight. Completely by accident.

Refuse To Snooze

That only seems like it would further our plight

So, anyone wanna chip in money to put a hit out on Corcoran.

russak - April 16, 2009 reply

yes

Anyone wanna chip in money to prevent the hit from going out on Corcoran?

no

Appearently the authorities read LoL now so be careful

Guess who else calls LL that!

http://www.sbnation.com/users/I%27m%20NOT%20Corco/search?advanced_search=true&all_these_words=bomb+safeco&btn=Search&order=date&q=bomb+safeco&scope=network&search_user[username]=I%27m+NOT+Corco&type=Comment

Guess it's a good thing we've got this then

Did it ever occur to you that maybe I AM the authorities?

No, pretty much never

He's not fucking retarded

Generally cops don't get turned down when they ask girls on coffee dates.

http://www.sbnation.com/users/Last%20Fan%20Of%20Jose%20Lopez

No

no

depends on the corcoran

Roy...or me if there's a reason for me to be worried

Why would there ever be a reason for you to worry?

That's what I thought

Way to downplay the hit out for him.

I mean…

You guys don't even know where Wyoming is

I'm in Provo, Utah.

I can be at your doorstep in an hour.

You would have to move at a rapid velocity to get to me in an hour

I once made it from Provo to Seattle in 11 hours.

That's pretty reasonable actually

That is averaging 84 mph, including stops.

I shaved 3+ hours off a drive that a normal person would make, not including stops.

Corco's websites turn out to be his undoing

Leading e-Stalkers to his door.

It's the place that you moved to in a attempt to get as far away from your personality despite how much you outwardly like it.

I was actually moving towards it because I outwardly like it

Wyoming is like a state full of Corcos

That's not true.

My parents and grandparents are from Laramie.

You don't know me

Of course, she's female.

Darn.

Know what I do know? Laramie. It’s not full of whoever you are.

That's my favorite brand of cigarette

A perfectly normal midwesterner with low self-esteem?

Really?

Yes?

Wyoming isn't the midwest.

Tell that to people in eastern Wyoming

I didn’t believe it at first either, but many of them claim it and the people seem like midwesterners

Laramie is part of the Great Plains, which by some definitions is part of the midwest

Most of Wyoming is not, but the southeast corner is definitely in the Great Plains

yes that would be totally difficult to find.

If that were true it would have succeeded by now

Almost the right word

Spell check is often a crapshoot

Sometimes my jokes work better out loud

It has succeeded

I’ve actually had conversations with women here and had them come back to talk to me again. That’s a huge step forward compared to Tacoma

Something tells me you know what mace tastes like

It tastes like progress

I've never even seen or tasted mace

Well they spray it in your eyes so technically you wouldn't see it or taste it

I've never had any experience with that

Despite my occasionally sexist statements I’m actually pretty nice to women

I’m a less insane Bill Dauterieve, if you will

No it's not.

Nyet

Iie.

BrianL - April 16, 2009 reply

Don't swing so much maybe?

No you fool we're supposed to conserve and preserve our outs

So Lopez sucks again.

It's like we are trying to lose

They're gonna hype that "Seven in the 7th" extra hard that year

“Hey, it’s actually happened, listeners!”

Bad at bat coming here.

I have just received word that blowers has been authorized to give out an unprecidented second helping of Rally Fries to aid this dire situation

On our way to a good ol' fashion loss.

Ahhh….this doesn’t feel too bad.

ThundaPC - April 16, 2009 reply

Its a feeling I've grown up with! Also, I'm totally drunk

There's nothing quite like the sweet, soothing embrace of failure

Nick S - April 16, 2009 reply

Bullpen arms named Sean are like so played out

I bet there's a Sean Redd out there that's a lefty...

It's like

Easing into a swimming pool full of little kids…

section331 - April 16, 2009 reply

This post made me uncomfortable.

why

just kidding i love kids

Sigh

Who are you, and why are you doing this?

kevin_ess - April 16, 2009 reply

IT WAS A PEE JOKE!

section331 - April 16, 2009 reply

I can't believe we have another six months of this

Playing .700 ball would be pretty rad.

Do you mean this to be a good thing or a bad thing?

mark sobba - April 16, 2009 reply

2.5 months till camp starts!

Go Chargers!

I'm pretty excited for the last year of the San Diego Chargers.

I hope Tui is watching this relief appearance and cutting his skin

Y'know what cheered me up just now?

New picture of Dubs.
Sports need more cute mascots. (Monkeys aren’t cute.)

aww...

who’s a good doggie?

PissedMick - April 16, 2009 reply

Who wants a little treatie treat?

Who's gonna have a charmed life and not understand why?

Who are most dogs. Alex?

msb - April 16, 2009 reply

The surge twins are looking good this year.

White was 6-11 for Tacoma last year?

So glad he’s here instead of Stark or Hull.

Felix had a mediocre W-L record, why is he back?

I’m Sean White’s Uncle

WHAT THE FLYING NARDS

Not as crazy as Pujols sucking it up on D

Whatever, this entire game's a mulligan

Ok, this is retarded like molasses

I want my money back.

section331 - April 16, 2009 reply

Bad hop

Biggest Suckfest: THAT STUPID DOMINICAN LOSER STANDING NEAR THIRD BASE

Does not compute

beep boop beep boop

Nick S - April 16, 2009 reply

Beltre made an error?

You know something’s gone terribly wrong when that happens.

Pack up and go home

This is a No Fucking Way game

Gihyou - April 16, 2009 reply

It became this the moment Sean White started warming up, I'm afraid

So... not Beltre's best game.

sammy - April 16, 2009 reply

This is shaping up as one of those days

Big Jared - April 16, 2009 reply

One of those days where we score 15 runs in the bottom of the ninth?

If you take yesterday's game, take the exact opposite of it, and poop on it

Then you have today’s game

Nick S - April 16, 2009 reply

Well if that isn't a sign that we're fucked, I don't know what is.

Nice impressions Sims

Is this is what this game has been reduced to.

Did I just hear fans singing Hip Hop Hooray in the background?

There has to be something in the water at Safeco tonight.

Valium

Sounds about right.

Wish I was drink the ValiumWater

*drinking

Judging by the commercials that's also what's in the Coors Light

One of those games where your simply waiting for it to end.

krb - April 16, 2009 reply

This team was doing so well until Jeff came back

I watched them win in person

You once went on vacation and we swept the A's in 4 games and resigned Ichiro

Maybe he should go to more Padres games, let's chip in

And Felix gave credit to the blogosphere for helping him shut out the A's

And you give Felix crap for being a retard?

Then again, the Ms of 2007 went on a huge winning streak right after the Stanley Cup.

Matthew - April 16, 2009 reply

And on cue

The Ducks break the scoreless tie in the 3rd

AUGH

!

Here comes a shitty shitter shitface groundball single

The Ministry is working its' magic tonight.

Sinking Away - April 16, 2009 reply

YOU'VE BEEN FUCKED BY SEAN WHITE!!!!!

BRAAAHHHHHHH

I hate games like this

Too boring to get emotional about and no horrible asshole on the opposing team jobbing us.

White did better than Corco.

russak - April 16, 2009 reply

Did that inning just really happen?

Beltre makes an error yet White pitchings a scoreless inning?

Whatever, what a donkey ass game

It's the end of the world as we know it.

It was a good run

See you next season

We'll bounce back, but we really took it up the tailpipe tonight.

Thanks, regression!

Oh well STRASBURG!

Well this kinda sucks.

Should've PH Griffey to hit that 5-run bomb

Dear God, is this what 2008 was like?

Like this times 101

And not 104

If I had been happy you would have been happy

Did your hat ever get it's 300th win?

Only 82 more wins

Damn it

102 would've been ok too