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Lookout Landing

4/21: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Rob Johnson drinks for free at my house!

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Comments

I like him.

Forget Jeffie.

God damn it Jeff
Kapler should have stayed in gay porn.
Not cool Jeff
I was so lost..
Linked me to a different thread (?)
Yeah, that whole "wear helmets while fighting" thing isn't going to work.
Swingy count: 1 swing / 4 pitches
What the mother fuck is going on!
You turd Jeff.
HOW COULD YOU BENCH BETANCOURT
YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

TRIPLES ATTACK!!!!!!!!

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?????????????????
WHAT IS GOING ON?!
Seriously...

Was Gabe Kapler playing shortstop?

Pinch-run Yuni.
What the hell?
Fuck the world, now Yuni is going to keep his job.
If he kept this up, you wouldn't mind.

Actually, many people probably would.

YES!

Rikimbili!

Fucking Yuni why do you get good when we hate you the most
Stop redeeming yourself yuni
Yuni probably will not be today's biggest suckfest!
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE??
Seriously
Hooray for Yuni!
What the fuck?

Did I just get raped in the face?

That movie was such a letdown
Yeah, but it paid well
WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?
Ok....

That’s why Yuni frustrates the hell out of people.

That is exactly why
Triples: the new bunt!
Our offense is awesome and this is totally sustainable
I've gotta think two triples in an inning are extremely rare.
Two triples in one inning? From ROB JOHNSON and YUNI?
Would anyone else still rather see him play better defense than hit triples?
If he triples every at bat he can play SS like Kevin Mitchell
Yeah, I really meant in place of triples every at bat.
That's how I took it
That would be retarded.
Well we just assume that you place an overly high premium on defense.
That would still be insanely retarded.
We think you fetishize that much.
You are all clearly institutionally retarded.
Not as retarded...

as wanting better defense in place of every at bat triples.

That's what I'm referring to
I took it that way as well

You know being a writer for several reputable baseball sites I thought you would be able to communicate better in the written medium.

Are you high?
If he hit a triple every time up he would have an OPS of 4.000

he could field however the fuck he wanted and I’d be happy

I'd let him swing three times from the on-deck circle if he'd return to 2005 range.
Especially when the triple is hit with a guy on third

What a waste

Impossible to play better defense than he does right now

so no

Are you fucking stupid?
Zowwee look at that glove!
Okay, now you're getting overenthusiastic.
I would because this is only going to happen like 5-10 times at most this season

And he has to play defense every game

Is Yuni doing anything different, because he's hitting the ball better so far.
Wak ball!
Fuck Longoria.
God fucking dammit
What the hell...
That was retarded on many levels.
Why did Ichiro just try to squeeze?
Hates freedom.
Wak says it was his own fault, he didn't get the message to the baserunner
Seriously why the fuck
Okay that really was pretty selfish
Fucking Longoria motherfucker
What the hell?
HOLY CRAP GABE KAPLER
WHAT A CATCH!!!!!!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Fucking hell.

I guess that’s payback for Rob Johnson.

Gabe Kapler had a bad inning
Dave has thought there were going to be 4 home runs this inning so far.
WHAT JUST HAPPENED
WHY DIDN'T YOU STAY RETIRED
THAT WAS THE WORST AWESOME CATCH EVER

KAPLER YOU SUCK

He doesn't get credit for an incredible catch there.
Well the catch was truly incredible
It really was.
That was only an impressive because he first misjudged it
Sweet Christ what the hell
They're stealing our bit!
That player was a coach
WHAT A FUCKING CATCH
They honestly haven't learned have they.

STOP PLAYING US SO GODDAMN SHALLOW.

Ma nishtanah halaila hazeh
HAHA

Awesome.

Way to kill a rally dead, Ichiro
Whoa. Nice catch.
That was Willie-esque
Wow I really don't like Dave N.
Piss off and choke on some cheerios
I disagree with this statement
Neihaus has lifetime immunity from criticism
I expected that ball to be caught

Endy + Dave probably means high hopes on high fly balls.

I might really not like you.

It’s an open question at the very least.

Congratulations, this is the world's worst comments
Agreed.
Yeah, never criticize Dave directly around here.

You can make fun of individual calls now and then, but anything else would be unwise.

I love him but sometimes it's hard to know what's going on when he's on the radio
Just listen to the crowd.

He gets it right eventually.

Go listen to Hawk Harrelson bitch.
I disagree with the undertones implied in this statement
You are in the minority.
I see you've been banned before
Has anyone ever come over here from Addicted to Quack and NOT been an idiot?

I have nothing against UO. Just a disturbing pattern.

WHAT
Seriously, WHAT? How can you call yourself a Mariners fan?
I don't know how I missed this asinine statement.
I'm kind of in shock that someone actually feels that way about Dave
If Kapler hit an identical fly ball Chavez catches it while yawning
Well Gutierrez anyway
Yawning don't make highlight reels!
Yuni's positioning finally paid off.
Wow Yuni threw with aim better than a stormtrooper
Well a Star Wars one at least

Germans are historically pretty accurate

Well, duh.

They’re fucking German.

Hey look who made a play on defense?

And totally shouldn’t be benched!

Mmmmm

If this comment were posted by a DRB user it would be a hundred times more queer
And 300 times more furrier
Indeed it would
So, who has baseball's worst built body?

Prince?

That or Sabathia.
Greg Maddux
This is a queer choice.
I agree, gotta be Maddux
What a dreamboat

NOLAbaiting is illegal on this site
Fuck that noise, the Braves kick ass.
Seriously the Braves are awesome

NOLA is retarded

They've lost two in a row to the worst team in baseball

Even I laugh at the Braves right now.

And Jeff Francoeur can take his fucking “rebuilt swing” and shove it sideways.

Nobody cares about the Nationals.
Provably false, fool.
Nobody that matters.
Provably false, fool.
Prove it.
I'll matter someday!

My mom said so when I was a wee lad.

Prove it.
Prove that you want him to prove it.
I'm listening to the tape recording of her saying it that I keep with me as a memento.

She was killed when hit by one of Mike Sweeney’s home run balls during his 77 HR season.

Prove it?
I have tired of this
Wasn't it 84?
It was such a magical season that the numbers run together in my mind.
Fuck the Braves

but I like Maddux and Smoltz

gobble gobble

Well that's just not fair

now that he’s retired you have to use an example of him in his prime

My memory of Greg Maddux is that he retired a fat sweaty slob
He struck out Mo Vaughn?
I remember when WTBS stood for

Whoa Those Braves Suck

He just has a beautiful mind.
Pablo Sandival
Bartolo Colon is shaped like a stress ball.
Maybe Prior.
All those terrible mechanics.
Jim Abbott?

…too soon?

Jim Abbott died?
No.

Nick Adenhart would be too soon.

Any body fails in a high impact crash.

Even Gabe’s.

I wonder if there's a magazine called Muscular Dystrophy
The Stephen Hawking memorial issue is in galleys right now.
It's not nice of them to put that on the shelf right next to Muscular Dystrophy magazine
LATE LATE LATE
And to think I withheld typing mine out earlier because I wanted to go pour another glass of root beer.
What I learned from the broadcast poll: Seattle fans don't care for Native Americans or Greeks.
Uh, not that I mind Washburn facing Pena who he is DOMINATING

but where the hell was that fourth pitch?

OH NO AN INJURY PROBLEM
THIS COULD MEAN THE END OF OUR SEASON
WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT WASH!?!?!?!?!
Not make a sequel?
oh thank god it was a false alarm
Sudden onset sucktitis.
Did Jarrod just get traded?
The Twins finally followed through on that offer from last season.
No it's the Yankees

They saw Jarrod get all these K’s today and picked him up to pitch solely against the Rays

ZOMG Washburn's luck just ran out?
So Garret Olson and Jakubauskas will mamke a nice back of the rotation all season
Trade value.... declining

D:

How do you get 2 outs on 3 pitches then walk the next batter on 4?

I dont care if its Longoria, see how far he can hit it… you dont gift wrap them a potential rally.

Basically Washburn sucks….

ALMOST GOT HIM JARROD
Wait, we're winning?
I just noticed that also.
This is not looking good
JARROD FOR LOOGY OWNS PENA
OH MY GOD WE'RE THE BEST TEAM EVER
HOW DID WE EVER LOSE A GAME
Uh... wow. Well done, Wash.
I'm sorry sb :(

I take it all back.

JARROD WASHBURN

M-V-P

Outland Trophy! Conn Smythe!
I voted for him for Sixth Man of the Year
Just wait until he starts Running the Train.
Doesn't that imply he has friends to run a train with?
Roughly five of them, yes. Probably a local Scout troop.
Quiet applause.
How on earth is Jarrod Washburn making Carlos Pena look so goddamn foolish?
And it was a 77 MPH breaking ball!
Oh great,

Work caused me to miss a heck of an inning. Well, except for Pena. Wow, WTF.

I see Northeastern didn't prepare Carlos Pena for life in the big leagues
What a waste of a five-year program
Who needs defense when you have Washburn?
MUST BE FUN TO BE OWNED BY WASBURN
Oh yeah

I wish the mother fucker would have taken a walk back when he was good
Griffey quit on that play
He's going to be impeached during the next kangaroo court.
That was the quietest strikeout ever

He looked like he just stopped trying to play baseball and went to sit down.

If this is the case, I'm glad I didn't see it.
Wow, Beltre held off on a slider down and away and didn't have to appeal.

Quiet progress.

Followed by the strikeout
I just noticed Beltre's pitcher on Gameday is absolutely terrible
Sonnestine?
He's saying "picture" with an accent
Wow just noticed that typom wierd coincidence

Both pictures are bad though.

You should see his picture on SB Nation.
The left-eye not fully open tactic.

I break that out a lot when I drink too much/ just the right amount.

Our middle of the order is so so sad right now
Sweeney time!
Sweeney wants to win!
If the playoffs started today the Mariners would be in!
Mike Sweeney is back, fuckers
When was he here?
Mike Sweeney is making it hard to DFA him as quickly as I would like.
So the the anti-Wilkerson
SINGLES ATTACK
I miss that gif.

Haven’t seen it in a while.

Mike Sweeney now has a .290 batting average somehow
I was lonesome for Jose Vidro
"Oh My God" was very audible.
SWING THROUGH OR DON'T SWING AT ALL YOU STUPID MEXICAN
Kendry Morales is long gone.

Venezuela? That’s the safe bet for M’s Latinos.

87 MPH is high heat?
Hmmm 6 K's

Halfway there

Livin' on a Prayer?
Take my hand, we'll make it.

I swear.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER

Just had to, didn't you.
If he didn't I would have
AREN'T YOU THE ONE WHO POSTED THE RONALD MCDONALD GREMLIN
you sir, are a hero
Gracias
I CANNOT FIND THE GREMLIN

frownfrownfrown

I have a Youkilis version!
POST IT
DO NOT POST IT
DON'T LISTEN TO JI
LISTEN TO JI
POST IT
It's nice to see that we've come full circle
BUT JI DIDN'T WANT IT POSTED
LISTEN TO A GUY FROM KENT!

DO IT

Always good advice

Kentons do not lie.

Goddammit Fogel

GOD NO NO NO
fuck fuck fuck fuck YES
Hello, it's me....

I haven’t seen you for a long long while….

AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Ahhhhh yeah suckas.

We doin’ this.

It's really not that bad.

Stop overreacting, you pussies.

It's still going!!!
HOW DOES HE DO THAT
When I stare at it I hear Rob Zombie's "Never gonna stop"
YES YES YES

This is amazing

I have the gremlin and the Youkilis gremlin, but I keep them to myself. They are precious to me.
Sweeney keeps getting 87mph hangers right where he should want them

he hits them square and they just die in the shallow outfield. I’m going to go ahead and predict that Chavez is going to have a higher ISO on the season than Sweeney.

Its' veteran privelige

He gets easy pitches as part of his pension

Jose Lopez looks like a guy who farts smellier than average farts.
I was surprised to see the author of this comment.
I wanted to use it on Silva but it was too obvious
It's probably a dead meme, but c'mon: SILVA
I feel like I've already made the Silva farting jokes before
Prove it.
I was wrong
For a second I thought I subconsciously ripped off a Ziggy
Ziggy's gotten too preachy lately.
Coach would know what that means
But you did leave this gem:

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2008/10/13/634215/10-13-open-alcs-game-3-thr#9356067

That's probably what I was thinking of
Usually loud does not equal smelly
yay canucks...
I, for one, am glad to see Captain Mike Sweeney doing well
WashburnKKKKKK
How in god's name does Washburn keep getting swinging strikeouts?
Somebody beside Carlos Pena swung and missed!
Jpw maty dor the Filden Sivreri?
Holy shit, that's what I get for typing while looking away from the screen.

That should’ve been: “How many for the Golden Sombrero?”

I figured it was something Jewy
It's actually Hebrew.
I thought you were just speaking Finnish
Fuck those faggy Finno-Ugric languages.

I’m straight Indo-European ballin’ all the way, bitch.

I thought that was some fucked up language or something

At least you got the right amount of letters and stuff

The DET vs LAA is in the 5th inning...
...and?
Sims was saying the game was "Final"
3-2 Detroit
Watching scoreboards is fun!
Sims was "told the game is final."
And it's still in the fifth

wait till it’s over then we can talk/

DUBYA TEE EFF WASHBURN
Seven...strikeouts...
Those new mechanics are working wonders.
Go Washburn (?)
Jarrod Washburn is all that is man
WHY IS THIS TEAM SO GODDAMN CONFUSING
I'm stunned.

He has SEVEN strikeouts??!

TRADE TRADE TRADE
I'd love for someone to hand him another team's jersey when he gets out of the shower.
I DONT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW
WHAT THE HELL
88 pitches.

Commence Jaws theme.

Quick,

someone give him the flu.

RE-SIGN WASHBURN!!!!
Happy Jarrod day, indeed.
OH FUCK THESE PEOPLE AND THEIR FETUS
HEY THE LL GANG IS ON TV!!!!
Huh? Where?
THEY WERE GETTING RALLY FRIES AND HIGH-FIVING!
That wasn't them, you adorable ninny!
I was expecting Graham and Kirsten.
Oh wait, yeah I was too. I guess there are other "LL gang" people.

Oopsie.

Yyyyyyeah =/ Same here.

So who were those members of the LL gang, Chinn?

WHAT WHERE
I KNEW THEY HAD CAMERAS IN HERE
The Mariners should put Griffey in the field
Come to think of it I'm surprised they've kept him off it so much

Though I’m sure Endy’s hot streak is fueling that

Yuni, 2 swings, 6 pitches
2 /7. Someone ripped him a new asshole
2/8. Astonishing.
Gabe Kapler fields like a man getting his picture taken by an indecisive photographer
Looked like he posed for a second after throwing the ball in.
I think Wakamatsu pretty clearly had a talk with Yuni today or yesterday
Throughout the talk, he had a Jeffknife in one hand.

In his other hand he held Yuni’s scrotum.

And they say Managers don't do any dirty work...
About taking pitches, maybe

what about the other thing

There is no other thing silly
He hasn't made back to back errors

YET.

TAKE A PITCH OR I EAT THIS WHITE BABY!!!1!11!!

Not edgy enough.
A sad commentary

on what our society has become.
sheds single tear

Start eating some starving African children and then maybe you'll have something.
I mean hey, you're solving two hunger problems at once.
Well that was just idiotic
Dave said "right idea, wrong direction"

Don’t contradict Dave!

Yes that's Dave's job
Well that was odd.
Not as idiotic as Neifi Perez bunt grounding out for the last out in the 9th inning of a one run game

I saw this happen. It was awesomely stupid.

I bet Carlos Gomez does this.
Have scientists ever tried to breed a gator and a monkey?
Ask your mom
My mom is not actually up to date on the latest in scientific research
Kirsten is at the game.
I am guessing Yuni did that on his own to try to show some "effort."
STOP BUNTING YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

OR AT LEAST HIT IT TOWARDS FIRST

And Betancourt was doing so good with 2-0 count.....

Taking 2 pitches in a row must be first for him this season

I'm starting to think Yuni is literally retarded.
With a capital R!
That would still mean he was more intelligent than a monkey.
World's Smartest Monkey sounds way better than World's Most Retarded Shortstop
It's all about expectation.

Subject line you rabbit killer
Too large, too slow to load, no way to minimize.

Since when did you become SRQman?

Too large?
247 kb?
The Beltre gif was much more massive.
I get that all the time.
Camptown ladies sing this song, doo dah! Doo dah!

Camptown race track five miles long, ohh doo dah day!

Ever since I got this LASIK surgery the whole fucking world seems way too in focus.
Some of them can do math.
Normal monkeys are capable of learning
So does Washburn detonate in this inning?

Or does Wakamatsu realize that it’s all coming apart and pull him before it’s too late?

1. maybe, 2. no.
Someone's warming up.

Good.

Seems like a silly thing to say when you don't know who it is
It could be Burke
We've acquired Swisher for middle relief.
Knuckleball bitches!
Only if there's someone I don't want to see.

I think.

BRING IN BELUGA!
Why aren't the Rays bunting here?

I don’t understand.

The Rays don't understand Wak-ball.
I'm still sussing it out myself.
See?

Should have bunted.

90 MPH?
There is a northerly wind.
STRIKE OUT STRIKE OUT STRIKE OUT
WE WANT NUMBER 8
Now pull him.
Is there some reason why Crawford doesn't lead off?

Doesn’t he always hit second?

Washburn is just setting up the double play here.
DING DONG! NUMBER 8!!!!!
I'm glad to see this use of ding dong.
Beautiful pitch
SIT DOWN GAYWAD
He's throwing a legit 90 miles per hour
He better be on the roids
Kenny Powers revival time.
8! 8! 8! 8! 8! 8! 8!
WKaKsKhKbKuKrKnK!!!!
Jarrod is getting some nice calls

and apparently MLB.tv is getting behind again

Are you nexdeffing?
Nope
Just switch to the tampa feed then switch back.
SOMEBODY PUT UP THE DICKBURN GIF PLEASE
YOU ARE SO COURTEOUS
I CAN'T SAY NO BECAUSE I WANTED THE YOUKILIS GREMLIN POSTED
Washburn has a 16-4 K-BB ratio this year. This makes me happy.
Surely this is sustainable.
Well that looked like an easy play on Kapler at 3B
It looked like he forgot how many outs there were
We didn't exist in 1939
NINE?

Holy crap.

STRIKE OUT STRIKE OUT!
WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON
TRADE TRADE TRADE TARDE

HE WILL NEVER PITCH BETTER

Oh snap 9 K's for Washburn? How is that possible?
NINE NINE NICE 999999
NO WHAT THE FUCK THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE
3rd most triples in a 5 year span since WWII?

Wow…….who wouldn’t want that?

FUCK ME IN THE EAR THAT WAS FILTHY!
HATTH FUCE W

ASOHY S EYBOARD YPING CKARDS? WABTKYMIW L

Great, more Hebrew.
Shalom
This doesnt make sense

When I type it keeps going backwards but only sometimes

For instance if I dont manually correct every letter this phrase would read like this

Frnsce f o maualy coeceveter ths phrase woud readletsih ki l itl lyre trrlntndI inati o

Your keyboard is clearly drunk

Pour some coffee on it to wake it up

I'm getting sick of typing my comments in notepad and copying and pasting in

but am also too lazy to restart Firefox (and have to reopen MLB.tv) which I know would fix the problem

Two different browsers!

Chrome for LL, FF for MLB.

Stick with the gibberish.
Th' heestdea vehed a ay!dllar Ii b atsta
I concur
Now he's just showing off.
Yodo eve knw wa thatsysa thatont'n u
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WASHBURN

YOU JUST GOT A BONER DIDN’T YOU

BAHAHAHAHA
9 is kinda close to 16
*I* certainly did...
All my ladies :)
:o
This is the GTE we've all been waiting for.
HIDE YOUR DAUGHTERS
FHOLY FUCKING ASS
I AM NOT BELIEVING WHAT I'M SEEING
Jarrod? Is that you?
What in the beautiful 32D tits is happening tonight
Jarrod Washburn threw 103 pitches and struck out NINE batters.

No, I don’t understand it either.

Jesus, Baker really WAS right about how Washburn eats the Rays for breakfast.

Could a player be traded during a game?

And if so, could they be traded for someone on the opposing team?

I hear the Angels need some starting pitching.
Randy Johnson was traded during a game.

John Parrish was traded to the opposing team, but that did not occur during the game.

Hahahaha Washburn's scared of the bullpen
DICKBURN DICKBURN DICKBURN DICKBURN
Gameday called that a called strike.
Ho. Lee. Gawd.

9 Ks.

This is incomprehensible.

Washburn, 9Ks??

Does not compute.

I don't even have a silly picture for that...
GREMLIN
There are some things even Gremlin cannot explain
No no.

Not here. Not for this. This is…
speechless

This silly enough?

Or this.


Somehow he holds on runners REALLY well in his contract years.

See what happens when he doesn't have to throw to Kenji???
EVERYBODY BACK ON THE PILE
Scioscia just got ejected... again
Found it!

Had to knock some rust off that one huh
He looks like a beaver
I always thought he looked like a squirrel

but use of the word beaver is ok by me

I was on the chipmunk bandwagon, but I guess that's fine.
The fuck?

Endy smoked that

Thought that was gonzo
How did that ball not get out?

That was an Ibanez swing.

Endy corks his bat but leaves out the cork.
Still getting Griffey ovations
It's going to be so awkward when we cut him in June
I bet it happens all season long..
but attendance
I feel like Rizzs' call on this Endy pop up was better than Niehaus' call on the last one.

Didn’t get my hopes up.

That was almost awesome
Oh God Aardsma time

anyone have Bayer? It’s supposed to help prevent heart attacks, right?

I've been putting myself in pentabarb comas
Griffey sure is a pile of poop
At least he didn't strike out for once
That's BELOVED pile of poop to you.
VERY MANURE-Y
You beat me to it.
He makes up for it in making clubhouse guys smile!
At least it was a line drive?

Anybody?…no

Rizzs liked it.
No, fuck him
He should retire as a Brave
Why would he retire with the team he beat in the 94 WS?
A pile of poor who draws fans!
I'm slow

This was one of the times where a photoshop wasn't necessary
It was MSPaint if that makes a difference
It really does. I would not want to see that in Photoshop
See, I was expecting something like this
But to the fans, he's one of those piles of poop that resembles Jesus

So sure, it’s a pile of stinky poop, but you can get $25 for it on Ebay.

I like him!
.

Not it's not.
It would be if he had said "I didn't know they could stack shit that high"
No it wouldn't
It would have been borderline had I said "Griffey sure is a pile of poop because he's black and all black people are piles of poop because their skin pigment resembles the color of poop"
I don't see it.
I'm glad you didn't say that. Too long winded.
Agreed, especially since your a white and I have recently learned that white people have had a history of mistreating Africans
What do you call all of those credit card scams? I demand reparations!
Dude, it's nothing to joke about.
I found this on the Reds' blog long ago

I’ll always love him, but Christ he’s old.

Who the fuck would want miniature hamburgers?
YOUR MOM HAHAHAHA
The shitty taste of generic hamburgers, now in less filling form!
White Castle enthusiasts?
The most horrible burgers I've ever had.

And I eat in NJ diners.

Normally this would be something I might be expected to idolize

but I can’t stand White Castle

I like White Castle

but fully realize I am in the minority.

I like knowing there is one nearby
Only 50 miles round trip!
I'm unfortunately 914 miles away from one at the moment. But I want to be closer
Whoa dude you're really pissing off the dwarf community right now.
And the Hamburglar's wife

you just called her kids ugly

Well that's a demographic I didn't even consider
Be more thorough with your considerations please

kthx

Miniature people?
Sliders are tasty.
Them Jack in the Box mini sirloin burgers

be miiiiiiighty tasty

Only if larger hamburgers are not available
Yall

can even get them at Applebees, Fridays, and Red Robin now

People who want to think they're getting more of something
It was less annoying than the Burger King ads
"Rick Aardsma?"
So that was close to the strike zone
STRIKE HIM OUT AARDVAARK
TASTE MY PAIN BITCH
THE DIRT DOES NOT REPRESENT THE STRIKEZONE
Fun stat

The word regression has only been used twice in today’s threads.
Neither was referring to Washburn.

Aaarrrrrrrrrdsma

WALK THE WORLD GIF!!!!
Shouldn't Morrow be warming up by now?
"Those guys have done a great job of throwing strikes"

Ball four.

:D

David Aardsma...Cock of the Walk!

Was Felix just holding a bat and blowing snot rockets
Use your DVR rich boy
It's broke
Tell it to get a job
Sounds like you should get a refund
Throw some D's on that bitch!
Yes. Yes he was.
If you ask I'm not gonna gif it
What if we don't ask?
Good ol' reverse psychology
Could you please gif it
If I get your mom's permission maybe
I think she gave you permission to do anything last night when you fucked her
Well that was forward
It's a shame I was high on meth after cooking said meth and cannot recall becasue it sounds like a gay ol time having sexual intercourse with your mother.
Damn Spokanians and your meth
Good thing I videotaped it!
That shows initiative!
Too bad your camera was also sold for meth with the video still in it
Way to cut him off at the pass
Too bad his mother didn't do as much
AARDSMA THREW A NOT A FASTBALL
(It was a ball) :(
My favorite part of him is his control of his fastball
See also: The only part of him
Keeps the ball down, too.
Aardsma's favorite part of this sentance is 'fastball'
Get off of this team Aardsma
OUR BULLPEN IS NEVER GOING TO ALLOW A HOME RUN
I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MAGICAL THIS IS GOING TO BE FOR US
I JUST POOPED MY PANTS
I just Griffeyed my pants.

Corrected.

YES
Aardsma'd!
HIS DOMINANCE WAS A SUCH IT LIKE HE LITERALLY DRY SHAVED THE OPPOSING BATSMAN'S TESTICLES
The feeling of shorn testicles is exquisite...
Thank you for being big, Safeco.
I enjoyed that call by Niehaus.

And the result

Regression Reaper is coming to get our Bullpen
That's three
You knew we eventually this gamethread would experience some regression towards the regression mean
Aardsmas are becoming seriously underrated

Though there should be a warning they are not for people with heart problems.

Jesus Dave Niehaus called a good long out that time
I haven't heard him in a while but he sure loves to scream for the high fly balls.
He was very restrained on this one, which actually scared me more. Thought it was going to be one of those hits that just carries
JESUS BELTRE
IF MORROW FUCKS THIS UP

I WILL BE DESPONDENT

And I'll be a prophet
Per Gameday...

David Aardsma
Out Pitch: Slider

That inning…
16 fastballs
2 Sliders

I don't understand

He got 3 outs that inning. Something’s broken

Yep

Gameday’s “scouting” is.

Rather appropriately Balfour has a 2:1 BB:K ratio
Sweeney is feeling it
Sweeeeney!!!
Gabe Kapler is a good outfielder
I LOVE YOU MIKE SWEENEY
HOLY GUACAMOLE
Sweeney!

At a quick glance, my first question was "How is Sweeney related to Ludwig van Beethoven?"
Duh duh duh DUUUUHHHHHH
Outfield was playing him way in
Mike Sweeney has a better OPS than Ken Griffey Jr
Cedeno better be at SS next inning
But Yuni would be awful at 2nd

(c’mon, someone with the punchline…)

he'll be at 2nd with Lopez moving to 1st
DON'T BE A DUMBFUCK LOAF
I wouldn't play the percentages on that one.
SEE? THAT'S WHY.
Ahh...Loafie.
FUCKING LOAFIETIME
What in the name of fuckstains was that swing?
Wow...

Lopez has a serious case of Yuni disease.

Being Mexican isn't a disease
Although it should be
Am I right?
Wow

I don’t think I can be part of a site that is this literally racist

Way to open a Mexi-can of worms
OMGZ RACISTS!
Racist

But I agree

That pitch was at Mike Morse's eyes
I hope it didn't blind him!
We should have left him at SS

then we would have never had the Yuni problem

Bench Loafie and Yuni damnit.
So we clone Ronny and play him at both SS and 2B?
And play who at 2nd?
Beltre, bitches
Beltre covers the waterfront

And the IF

Cedeno and Branyan middle infield?
That was interesting, Jose
Holy fuck Loafie did Yunin beg you to swing more just for him?
What the hell ass kind of swing was that
MORROWTIME MOTHERFUCKERS
Too many fastballs
Yay for Rob Johnson being bad again!
I have complete faith in Brandon

I have pre-Morrow tingles
I wonder if yours feel different than mine.
Are yours in the crotch area?
You think you're excited? Feel these nipples!
I'm not Robert

jesus

That guy is a fucking queermo

I bet they're similar.
ROB JOHNSON EATS COLONIC BAGS
Grant Balfour's neck is broader than his head
Like Henry Rollins?
MORROWTIME ASSCHEEKS

Alright more fastballs!!!!
Morrowtime hits the bigtime lexicon

wooooo

This picture made me laugh.
Alright, am I think only one who thinks of Israel (via the Balfour accord) every time I see Grant Balfour?

And I’m not even Jewish. Just a giant nerd.

No

But I know what you’re talking about.

I think goalie.
Traditional Stats

ERA: 5.73
Opponent Ave: .063

If Brandon Morrow's entrance music is Lenny Kravitz then that is a marked downgrade from before
At least Katy Perry is more edgy
THROW 100 AGAIN

DO IT

DON'T BE A DICK MORROW
Does Morrow have an entrance song yet?

Cause if the Rock isn’t using his anymore I saw Morrow takes it and runs with it. Then he could get a nickname too.

You could hear a mouse fart in Safeco at the moment
It still hurts the WHIP, but at least it wasn't a walk!
?

Do IBB count towards WHIP

Because I think that would be the baseball equivalent

Morrow's Gameday picture is whiter than the light absorbed by Yuni's skin
Nice hitting by Navarro.

That was a solid pitch.

Sweet. Here we go.
The default angle on gameday is really annoying
I hate how it resets after every batter, too.
Pretty easy to fix
Only loses use the 3D option anyway.
*losers

Christ.

Is it losers or Christ?

Make up your mind

Morrow doesn't throw his bendy things anymore

:(

Wait for it
HOW ABOUT NOW MOTHER FUCKER
It's all straight now!
Ahh yes

No better time than the last strike of the game.

Lot of Gabes running around Alabama, I'm sure
96 mph is boring.

Am I right?

0-2 mid plate?

Oh noes

And again?

At least the result was good

THROW A GODDAM NON FASTBALL
This may work out, but I'm not impressed yet
I feel a lot more comfortable with Morrow facing the bottom of their lineup.
Foul-outs are delightful.
God our coaches sure love fastballs
With Balfour's inning and Aardsma before, 20+ fasballs have been thrown in a row
I hear 98, 98 going once do i hear 99?
I hate how the speed guns are so maddeningly inconsistent
Does anybody else get irritated when the announcers confuse the term best with the term fasterst?
That second one isn't a word
You knew what I meant and still you mocked me?

For shame, sir.

Have you met Jeff?
WHO THE FUCK IS CLAPPING SO LOUD ON MLB.TV ITS ANNOYING
It sounds like something else.
I'M GOING TO DRIVE UP THERE AND SHOVE HIS HANDS UP HIS ASS
what if it's a hot chick
HE'S GOING TO DRIVE UP THERE AND SHOVE HER HANDS UP HER ASS
God I hope there are no DRB posters still around to see this
Oh shit!

Hide it hide it!

So here comes the Jason Bartlett 2 run HR
For all I care Morrow could throw eephus pitches if he finishes off Bartlett
Eephus always sounds like a great word for farts
That would be awesome, 40MPH velocity change bitches
Has he thrown an offspeed pitch yet?
Hey, he got the save

For the Win!

Run faster you fat lump
11 pitches 11 fastballs.

Is the pitching philosophy based on reverse psychology?

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW

YESSSSSSSS

NOT A FASTBALL FOR A STRIKEOUT WOOOOO
there we go motherfucker.
Yay!
MORROW YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD
Bendy thing!
BALLGAME BITCHESSSS
K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BENDY THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! M'S WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Washburn good!!!!!!

MARINERS WIN! MARINERS WIN!
That was beautiful
FUCK YEAH GO RIDE THE PINE GAYLORD
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NINE WINS!
Holy shit he can spot his curve?
Gameday and Dave both call that a slider.
Looked like a curve to me

Gameday is pathologically wrong and Dave… god love him.

GO FUCKING MARINERS
And he threw the MINDFUCK SLIDER!

After all those FBs.

Huge Win

When the first four batters in the lineup get zero hits and you still win that is HUGE

Sweeney Time!
Morrow=Brad Lidge

with a curve instead and the wasted ability to start.

Yet another sub 3 hour game, too.
I love this.
First place!
But the Angels tied it up.
YES YES YES

I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT I LOVE IT
Welcome to last May
I can't believe you didn't register on Quiroz.
What does that have to do with Robert being a flaming homosexual?
Argyle
Like Darkwing Duck?
That, my dear, is Fiddle Cat.
You must be new here
In the grand scheme of things, yes.
We haven't had to celebrate a win for like a year

Can’t blame him for having not seen it

True

We haven’t used Fiddlecat in a long long time.

FIDDLECAT RETURNS
Time to dead meme this fucker for good now
I think it's fair to bring him out for Rays games.
Wait a second that's a cello
I feel like we've had this subthread before
You're not wrong.
This meme has lapped itself
Does this have any affect on the space-time continuum?
I asked myself this very question the first time I saw Manos
It's part of the violin family

And fiddle = violin
Cello could justifiably called the bass fiddle

The funny thing is that we have argued about this for hours already before
I thought that I'd just try to be succinct

Besides, as a music grad student, the comment made me twitch

No easier way to identify the new LL posters.

It’s kind of cute really.

But yes, this is Fiddlecat. Delightfully weird last year, but more than a little played out now.

FIDDLECAT! YOU HAVE RETURNED!
What is this originally from?

I feel like I’m going to have nightmares about this tonight.

Babes in Toyland

We’ve thoroughly killed this meme.

A damned weird movie

and a damned weird subplot in the movie.

I'm still not convinced...

that Morrow has the mental toughness to get saves.

WTF
I got nothing to say here that isn't dead meme all to hell and gone
That's why I stuck with WTF
I still can't believe Washburn had 9 strikeouts.

9.

^very nice.

I can't wait until we have Fields, too.
My god, they actually do firsties over on DRB.
Once all you fuckers leave, I am calling lasties.
RJ is going to be murdered by his children someday
Yuni still sucked on defense

He should’ve gotten to that grounder just to the left of the mound in the 5th

But was one of four hitters with a positive WPA.

I’ll cling to whatever threads I can.

Wow this interview is intense
Aw, his little hat tip. What a guy.
Sweeney is an incredibly intense man
Oh god

the Angels are Dhing itzuris, batting third. And I thought we had it bad.

But they have the lead.

Vidro’s still worse.

...aaaand Lyon blows the game

to GMJ of all people.

Brandon Lyon blows a game?

[surprise face]

They would’ve been better off keeping Todd Jones from retirement.

Now Adam Everett is pinch-hitting!
And couldn't get a bunt down.

Not gaining more ground tonight.

Leyland is nutz
How did the Tigers beat us?
If my memory serves correctly

the Tigers beat us because they scored more runs than we did in two out of the three games.

So that's their secret.

Matthews just totally blew a catch for the Angels.

Way to steal a joke from some poster whose name I forget.
Probably a lot of people
sb
He's easily forgotten
The Tigers radio announcers pronounce it

“foo-ENT-ays”
It’s fun to listen to him implode!

Ramon Santiago blows.

Angels win.

Larish is worse than him and a lefty to boot
Rob Johnson sure can't catch
We won, which is awesome,

but my brain is going to fucking explode if we bunt 4 times one one game again.

Make sure you wear a garbage bag so your clothes don't get covered in brain matter
So DeadLikeMe.
Infantizmal?
Wakamatsu:

Washburn’s been doing that all year… so far

Meanwhile a painfully close game is brewing in the House of Shattered Dreams.

The Sharks had better not blow this shit.

Well, at least not harder than they’ve already done.

Well spank my ass and call me Charlie
FUCK YES!!

MARLEAU!

Bend over, Charlie.
Go Ducks!
...

I see you’ve made some poor life decisions.

Rooting for the underdog!
Hitler was an underdog late in the war >:(
I wanna see the knucklepuck
Those V-2 Rockets were wild, but when he could spot them boy howdy
So they were like a large mentally handicapped child flailing around randomly?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
High five!
Lots of Sharks fans in Anaheim...
Wouldn't be hard to outnumber the Ducks fans.
Sharks goal!!!!!!
I feel sorry for you people watching hockey.

How does it feel to follow a sport of losers?

You probably shouldn't be saying this (Natinals)
We won our second game in a row today!
This is particularly sad given that you have the most entertaining player in hockey playing in DC.
Hockey is for fags and Canadians

Maybe also Slavs.

But I repeat myself.

I’ll be here all week, folks. Please tip your waitresses.

Be sure to pick her back up again, they're not like cows people.
Ovi would beg to differ.

Holy fucking crap.

I'm not big into hockey but it is a perfectly acceptable sport
I think I've said it before:

— Respect the shit out of hockey players. Athletes through and through, and some pretty incredible ones at that.

— Find the game a bit too hard to follow, and I’ve never had a team to root for.

Just like with MLS, if Seattle got an NHL team, I would give the sport much more of a chance than I have given it in the past.

Everytime I've been to a game I've been entertained

It’s just that I need another sports team to follow like we need more right handed relievers

I can see how other people might like it but I just have a hard time following the action
Fuck Ramon Santiago
Matt Pittman thinks we should be grateful Washburn didn't get traded after all.
So

Calling Yuni a “stupid oafsome monkey” in a crowded public area is a excellent way to get your entire section to either stare at you or act visually uncomfortable.

Try "I want to hump you Felix" next time.
Good thing you weren't sitting in the black section
I'm still baffled as to why Fogel never sought the security guard's opinion on Yuni.

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