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Lookout Landing

4/22: Open Game Thread, Part 2

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ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.....
Yuni lets that ball get by him.
We're allowed one, right?
I'm starting to think that Ken Griffey isn't the same player he was when he left in 1999
I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter!
I'm so glad I don't have cable.
I'm so glad I don't have TV.
No you aren't.
right now I am.
Quit being a Pissy Priscilla
Somedays I think I should cancel my DirecTV

with as little TV as I watch because of work. But then I think my GF might kill me.

Sounds like you've struck the right balance.
Endy Chavez, the cute little runt

Won’t let Niemann catch him out in front
He’s got tricks up his sleeve
Squaring up, to achieve
The perfectly laid FUCKING CUNT

We get it already.
Shall I compare thee to a total party pooper
I won't be reading it.
whats with the mariner commercials this year?

not up to par. I want to see the light bat.

The light bat wasn't a Mariners commercial.
So Niemann is working up a perfect game I see.
GOD YOULL JINX IT
Isn't that an opposite jinx thought?

Like he’s jinxing us so that Niemann will get a perfect game?

Like we're gonna come back and win
I'm still waiting to find out the part of baseball Rob Johnson's good at
Tripling
It's almost like Jeff Clement would have been a better choice
Obviously after last night

it is his amazing game calling ability.

Boy is there egg on my face
Tagging runners
Blocking baseballs
Go away Rob Johnson.
That throw was of poor quality
Not if you're David Aardsma
Catchers should throw the ball back to Aardsma all crazy like just to be dicks
That would break his rhythm
What's he going to do, turn around and chuck it into the outfield?
Sometimes the joke is better if no one responds to it
Free Jeff Clement!
PERFECT GAME, ARG.

Prevent the throwing of a perfect game. Perfect game. Perfect. Game. Perfectly perfect. Gamely game.
Trying to cover every inch of a jynx.

This worked in Tampa earlier this year.
Do I continue to watch this game, or do I watch Gamera vs. Gaos on MST3K?

Or maybe Time Of The Apes?

Is it wrong that I'm actively rooting for the unmentionable to happen?
Probably the least wrong thought you've ever thought
Buhner already did it apparently
You want Cthulhu to emerge from earth and swallow the souls of the Mariners' relief staff??
An excerpt from Baker's blog.

Regarding RRS still being on the DL


The upshot is that Chris Jakubauskas — tonight’s starter — will remain in the rotation in at least the near future.

Call me crazy but I'm starting to think Baker might not understand pitching all that well
"The Bull only has one horn..."

“Clean radio station,” Jay says.

YUNI YUNI YUNI YUNI
E-6? You don't say..
Clock is ticking.
It would have been silly if that ball went in his sleeve and then down his jersey into his pants
That would be worth continuing to watch this game
At least he'd finally have a pair in there.
You know, because he's the Yuniballer
www.instantrimshot.com
So Yuni only has one ball like hitler?
I've seen something very similar happen to Ryan Zimmerman.

The ball took a hop and leapt up into the folds between his jersey, lodging inside his shirt.

I remember seeing that. He had to fish around to find it.
An error by Yuni, oh boy.
At least they got that one
Beltre almost missed that tag
tripped on the base?
And the Angel's just took the lead.
Glorioski, but Buhner has a fund of Baseball Cliches at his fingertips.
Rob Johnson is a fucking pussy
That's mostly what they're for
No one says birthing pussy anymore
This is just pathetic
How did he even score?
Nice tag Johnson.

Just after he made the good throw out of the runner.

Fuck you Johnson.
Did he touch the plate?
Barely.
It was a great slide unfortunately
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON>!>!?!!!
I like the beauty of Tampa putting a number up on the board for every inning.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/CHN/CHN199905050.shtml

Wow, that's gorgeous.
So there really was a Sexton in professional baseball
I really like this even more because A.) they put up a lucky 13; B.) fuck the Cubs.
I love it because 2 of the 5 Cubs pitchers

didn’t allow a run and only 2 of them allowed any ER.

Fuck you Johnson reloaded.
WHY IS ROB JOHNSON ON THE MARINERS MY GOD
Wow this is sad.
God Dammit Johnson.
ROB JOHNSON NOT ACTUALLY GOOD AT DEFENSE
STERLING DEFENSIVE REPUTATION
STERLING DEFENSIVE REPUTATION
STERLING DEFENSIVE REPUTATION
STERLING DEFENSIVE HEY FUCK YOU LOOK IT JUST HAPPENS TO ME EVERY NOW AND THEN I'M TRYING TO MINIMIZE IT.
STERLING DEFENSIVE REPUTATION
He's Rene River Part II
Neimann shouldn't be credited with a no-no, if it goes that way.

This is really a forfeit.

Really a suckfest
Cue the comeback!
It would be weird if he kept saying "his countryman" about white people
I think he meant Ichiro
It would, however, be awesome if he said "my countryman" about all black people.
Dave Sims is the whipped cream on a mocha frappuccino
Are we boned yet?
in so many (of his) words
Fangraphs says yes

3% chance of coming back.

If you multiplied our hits by infinity we would be being outhit
Hey at least we don't have zeros across the board!!!

Oh wait…

Are we still blaming this on David Spade?
Time to fuck this shit up, Beltre.
you mean bartlett
Stuffed Crust Pizza is delicious
What the fuck are you doing
I'll give you three guesses
Stuffing crust
Rec'd

And I want I try their panormous pizza but when ever I order it, they switch it to two mediums and I don’t have enough of a spine to do anything about it.

The secret to enjoying stuffed crust pizza is eating it while it is still warm

this is where I think previous attempts have failed

I should try again
I still have some
I feel like it would get cold
So wait, when Compaq wants to deny you another new computer you man up?

But when the guys at Pizza Hut say something you don’t have a way to defend yourself?

Oh good

Downgraded to no-hitter.

BYE BYE PERFECTION
That's what you get for not picking a race
Finally.

Hussle

Bartlett going Yuni on them.
Fucker still has a no-hitter though.
HERE WE COME!

Que the sirens!

Que?

porque?

I fail at mexican.
the taller they are...
Timberrrrrrrrr............................
AND HERE COME THE YANKEES!
Time for a comebackkkkkkk

Sponsored by Rally Fries™

I'm uncomfortable with that many Ks
It involves many a Sean White strike out... and more eroors like that one
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lopez Homerun!

Hey now.

The Rays will want to keep Niemann out there through the 5th so he qualifies for the win.

Now is the time to strike!

DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG
FEEL THE MOJO RISING IN MY PANTS
WE WANT THE FUNK
SHOOP DAWOOOOP!!!
Hey, that makes it a little more interesting.
Ironically it was a lazy flyball
There's nothing ironic about that whatsoever
LOAFIE FUNK BLAST!
Holy crap, Lopez HR!
Oh let me check on your shutout and IT'S GONE!
The 5th inning just spells doom for player who are pwning us
imposible, es posible?
I want Jose's

Bat…in my lineup

JOSE! LOPEZ! JOSE! LOPEZ!
GOD DAMN IT WE CAN'T EVEN GET NO HIT CORRECTLY
Yea,

Saw that one coming.

Now he's just throwing right down the middle of the plate
AHAHAHA that was funny
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ahahahahahahahahahaha
More impressive in person when you're sitting next to Graham and the catcher is Clement
Rob Johnson is as useless as a bag of pubes
I can think of a LOT of things to do with a bag of pubes
Pubes aren't useless
Especially not once they've been harvested.
That always happens when we play the Rays
The Jeff disease is contagious!
Coaches can't even hit pop-ups on command
But Johjima can...
whoa, that dude is fleet
Wow our odds of winning this game quadrupled!
Whoa we aren't sucking and we're getting some luck

Major turn around.

That was the Jamie Burke Special
I like those James Burke specials.

Ha ha, Rob Johnson reaches on an error.
That was an error?
No but the foul popup that got dropped was
I still hate you Johnson.
NONE ARE OUT
This is one wacky game.
TAKE THAT ROB JOHNSON HATERS
Johnson made a deal with the devil
Seems like he would have requested more
Maybe he only has to spend a summer in hell
Maybe this is the best the devil could do with him.
He's the Devil

Not a miracle worker

If he can cure stupid fingers he can do anything

Yeah, but it usually involves a ridiculously circuitous plan
And cutting off your hands.
Is it weird that I still feel somewhat confident with Gutz batting?
It's unsupported by evidence
He's done that twice today
DAMNIT THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A 2 RUN JACK
Wow come on thats twice he's hit a foul HR tonight
How was that foul?
Other than the fact that it landed on the wrong side of the pole?
Don't we get some sort of home field advantage?
I think we can pitch from behind third base.
A pole that sways to stay fair?
TAKE! TAKE!
DAMMIT THAT WAS BALL FOUR
Welcome to..

Why didn't you take that? :(
What is it with the Mariners and the 5th inning
Sad

Let’s go Yuni

Let's be honest, this isn't going to end well.
I predict a pop up
NOT PESSIMISTIC ENOUGH
I don't like being right

But that was as predictable as can be.

Didn't see that one coming
WHAT THE FUCK BETANCOURT
CLASSIC YUNI!

To the Rescue.

Mother fucking Yuni.
I can't believe our amazing defensive CF isn't amazing at offense

TRADE TRADE TRADE

GO BACK TO CUBA YOU SILLY FAT MAN
I MEAN MONKEY
If I were Wakamatsu, I'd start beating Yuni with the water cooler and stop only wen I tired of it.
Oh look at that, Yuni swings into a double play on the first goddamn pitch.

Why aren’t you riding pine?

Because Ents are neither real nor gay
Maybe he found of the Ent wives.
Bench his lazy fat arse.
There was no better time to take some pitches than right there...
Anyone see our comeback % right before Yuni's at bat?
Just tuned in. I see Yuni had an error. How bad was it?
It rolled up his arm, into his shirt and fell into his pants
Haha, no really
Minus the into his shirt and falling into his pants...
At least he didn't pop up in that at bat!
Aaand MLB.tv just ate shit
Whenever this happens my house gets uncomfortably quiet
I miss the commercials snapping me out
All I can hear is my fridge and some crickets
I hear the fridge
Is it running?
I should hope so
Would you run if you looked like this?

It's a shame this picture ruined the punchline
I didn't realize until now that there were crickets in LA
Those are castanets
The sense of this joke depends on whether or not Mexicans use castanets
The only mexicans in my part of town leave after the lawn is mowed.
So I think Yuni is a double agent employed by every other team and that Tampa was late on a payment.
Corcoran

Stops scorin!
Start soarin
Corcoran!
(Implorin
Corcoran?
No, more un-
Derscorin
My warrin
Adorin
For pourin
On scorin
Or roarin
Corcoran

STRIKES. THROW THEM.
AH SHIT NO ITS CORCOAN
Good start for Corcoran, we really want to keep that scoring every inning thing going
Yes a four pitch walk to Carl Crawford is the optimal way to keep momentum you fat sack of shit

Go marry your cousin

Ironically marrying your cousin in an incredibly english thing to do
Apparently it isn't considered too weird anywhere but America.
It's an incredibly European royalty or American hick thing to do
According to my Grandfather the Corcoran name is descended from royalty
According to me nobody gives a fuck
Given this subthread this seems like the kind of thing you'd keep to yourself.
Well whoopdie fuck
Corco has outlived his usefulness.
I'm beginning to think that despite my love for Roy Corcoran maybe he shouldn't be a Major League Baseball player anymore
OUT WHAT THE FUCK
THAT CALL WAS BLOWN
BS call

Just what we needed.

Good Christ.

I could have told you Crawford was going to steal

Except he was out
I know he was, but my point still stands

Crawford is damn fast and likes to go stealy on the basepaths

Good time for the ump to make a fucking horrible call

And it cost us a run, fantastic!

Beauty is preserved. Rays have their run for the inning.
It's a forest of ones on the scoreboard.
Fuck you you stupid fucking redneck. Go fuck your sister.
Is she hot?
You've seen Corco and she's the product of incest.
Ouch
That doesn't make any sense on several levels
He's ugly and she's inbred, do you think she's likely to be attractive?
Maybe she's the daughter of Angelina Jolie and her brother
Angelina Jolie is Roy Corcoran's mother?
You finally lost me
You're all retarded
.

Not the case
I just wanted an excuse to use that thing
This is Matthew's Joke

Don’t dead meme it.

Err a joke we use on Matthew
This is the first time I have used it
What
I told Roy Corcoran to go fuck his sister and insinuated she was the product of incest.
Oh now I get it

1. JI has never seen me
2. I’m a he
3. My mother is from West Virginia and my father is from Ohio so they couldn’t possibly be related
4. I’m sexy

West Virginia?

Big red flag right there.

I should have known that was coming
There are pictures of you on the internet
Not that you have access to
This is a silly argument
You've posted pictures here before.
Well I sure as fuck didn't look at them on purpose
My mother is from West Virginia and my father is from Ohio so they couldn’t possibly be related

That’s what Oedipus said

'Cause he loved his mother ....
You think the queen being as old as his mother would be would be a huge fucking tell
Maybe she was a child bride.
I know I assume everyone as old as my mom is my mom.
Yes but he had knowledge from the Oracle
I know I take advice from doped out crazy people.
He sure as fuck took it seriously the first time
Maybe she used that magic serum they keep advertising on website sidebars ...

the ones that make you look so much younger .

Didn't have the internet back then
I bet she was just hot since she was a queen and likely to be the daughter of a hot mom
I'm talking about the Corco that plays baseball genius.
She was adopted by two gay redneck brothers who were also lovers?
Was this the game where everyone was supposed to post on the Rays site?
Our WE% is lower than it was before the Lopez homer!
[surprise face]
Because Tampa really needs more help in this game.
Is MLB.tv not having "Media Error" for anyone else?
Nexdef is working.

Normal is not.

Well today is a day of opposites
What the fuck?

good to know, I guess.

How many more batters till Griffey?
Not enough?
Well I see the problem with our offense right here
Rob Johnson has really bad ball blocking reflexes
Cockblocks like a motherfucker
I like how Buhner pretends Blowers would be welcomed as a coach
I just got back from an important dinner...

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING? What has been the been the primary downfall besides our pitchers’ allergies to Longoria?

Jakubauskas was horrible, no one can throw strikes and the umpires are pieces of shit
And the offense has reverted to 2008.
This is definitely the least I've enjoyed watching a Mariners game this year

Nothing has gone right whatsoever

And right on cue, Batista warming up.
At least we scored
ALL OF THESE ARE STRIKES
strike zone != large
ump must be from the North
RegularDef is back
Thank you.

I hate being 3 minutes behind real-time.

Just after I finally caved and installed nexdef
NexDef has actually been quite good to me for the past few days, quality-wise.

I just hate being minutes behind. I had a friend call me to laugh about Yuni’s error 30 seconds before it even happened on my screen.

You could always send the mlbtv offices a letterbomb
is the strike zone the size of the logo on johnson's chest protector?
So let's get something going this inning

It’s a while until Yuni so we might be able to get a nice little rally

uh oh. our ace is warming up...
Wish the announcers would shut up about his perfect 4 innings

It was much more due to our offense sucking anyway

No team in the AL has ever had a run in all 9 innings?
I think the Rangers scored in 8 innings of their 30-run game.

But they were the home team and didn’t get to play the 9th.

Nope, nevermind.

WAAAAAAY off.

Nope they only scored in 4 innings in that game
Why has Griffey not carried his team to victory yet
He's building suspense first
He really shouldn't be be carrying anything with his back.
Bad knees limit the weight he can support.
Time to indulge in some Aaron-approved Prima Pils
This game deserves much worse
Time to indulge in some White Rascal
I am nervous.
?

I love Prima Pils.

I don't know why I forgot you saying this.
Ichiro!
Care to take off that exclamation point now?
Speed aboard!
Wak ball!
time for niemann to pee his pants
I was unaware that a lack of a shift key leads to urinary incontinence.
now you know
And I've just wet myself.
6-8 Angels in the 7th

Oh great, NOW the Tigers give up runs.

Verlander got wrecked again
SAFE!

Because Crawford was safe!

What the fuck that must have been a terrible jump
Why the fuck are we sending Ichiro there?

IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

I thought they just took bunting practice before this game
Yay for stealing with a 5-run deficit!
He should just be automatically called safe
Great job Ichiro
Can we lay off the small ball stuff for a game?
Small ball isn't really all that helpful when YOU'RE DOWN BY FIVE FUCKING RUNS
Guess where Ichiro would be now
Hey, now steal with Endy, WHY NOT?
I bet Griffey strikes out on three pitches
Double-play on the second pitch.
This is, of course, the esoteric-approved prediction.
It's a lefty, he wont make contact.
So we're talking about an embarrassing three-pitch K?
It's impossible now
He'll find a way!
Fouls!
We got awfully close to both
This is the perfect time for Endy to try and steal second base!

Send him! Send him! Send him!

damn. mlb.tv is lagging.

did ichiro get thrown out?

Well..........

J. J. Putz approves I suppose.

Put Wak ball into full effect!

Endy steal 2nd base, Griffey bunt!

Double play or embarassing strikeout?
I think he's more likely to be woefully late on a fastball and pop it up foul to Longoria
Embarassing strike 'em out, throw 'em out double play.
Those really are the only available choices.
I can't believe I'm trying to follow this thread on my phone.

I need a hobby.

Aren't you in a band?
Needs more bass
Feast on my taint.
Overdubs!
So, on the 'Selfish Ichiro Needs to Do More' Checklist

Bunt more for a hit. check!
Steal more. check!

Well done
I really dont like what Ichiro has been doing the last week.

If anyone else was making this boneheaded plays we’d be killing them

Which is why some feel that perhaps he isn't the one initiating the bone-headed plays.
Like his wild throw vs Detroit? Pretty sure Ichiro has the green light and runs

on his own

I want to see a steal here

Then when 3rd covers the bag, I want to see him take 3rd

Tigers have the bases loaded with no one out.

Still down 8-6 to Angels.

Bases loaded walk!
And it's Scot Shields doing it too!
2 Hrs, 2RBIs for Griffey.
8-7 in Anaheim
Jose Arredonde finally coming in to replace Shields.
Hard contact with a breaking ball?

What?

Griffey's worst nemesis is a 92 MPH FB so maybe he's good to go
You sure about that?

Ug.

Turns out the changeup gives him trouble too
Oh, and the change-up.

Thats a Nemesis, too.

after all that..
He was about three feet above that pitch
That was a really bad looking swing
Embarassing strikeout it is
Didn't see that coming
Yuck.
One more mississippi there Griffey
.623 OPS!
I like the walks

I dislike the complete lack of batspeed

Beltre .467 and Lopez .647. It's amazing we have a winning record
Sweeney's .708

so cut him some slack.

I still don't think Sweeney's done

He just looks really bad sometimes

A hard-earned strikeout at the very least
Ahhh another soul-crushing strikeout
They already did turn back the clock Rainer day
Economising.

Wait ‘til you see Corky wearing Sexson’s old uni.

Surely Griffey's gotten a sombrero at least once this year.
Beltre needs to aim better
Or make contact
Someone shoot me please
Angels game so much more satisfying right now
Yeah, I turned over to it.

We are not winning.

I want to kill myself
I'm right there with you
Please don't.

We’ll have an even more power hungry Napoleon of a mod if you do.

How am I power-hungry?

I already have power

How is Graham Napoleon?
I don't know, actually.

First conqueror to pop into my head. Who would you say Graham most resembles?

We've already had this subthread
Graham is but a simple assistant

I like thinking of myself like as the Grand Vizier except Grand Viziers do shit
Perhaps Grand Wizard would be more appropriate
Jafar was pretty go-getting for a Grand Vizier.
If he's Jafar, who is his Iago?
I didn't realize GOB was a Nazi
I never noticed before how that looks nothing like Matthew.
You seems quite giddy
Am I the next of mod-kin?
That strikeout was more efficient.
What an inning.

The Mainers are playing hardball.

Someone needs to injure Beltre again

He is one of the few players who should play through pain

Tigers lead 9-8
DETROIT 9-8
It's ok to suck when the rest of the division sucks too!
...And an even more embarassing strikeout to follow.
Adrian Beltre is not hitting well enough to justify any sort of reputation right now.
Angels meltdown!
Two runs score on an ERROR - it should have been a GIDP by Inge, too.
I still don't like Inge.
On ball four
If it had been the M's, I think we all know that it would have been a triple play, swinging at ball four.

And it would have been Yuni swinging the bat.

Well, I don't know about the GDIP.

They would’ve only gotten one out the way that was hit.

But I won’t complain!

WOW.
It seems like they would have developed those pictures years ago
Wait the MLB.tv commercial feed is different
Why would I want to watch the Yankees win?
The Angels seem to suck very, very badly this season.
Because this is the roster they expected to field all season long
Well at least Yuni hasn't done -that- this year
Wave the white flag, Batista time.
So, Oakland loses. Angels will hopefully lose..

How about them Rangers?

Rangers already lost
So at least it's not a total loss..
I think this loss feels pretty total.
Score more runs, Detroit.
Miguel in - game over!
Don't give them any more runs you fuckers
Sims is passionate
I think he's a Mets fan.
Simms is an idiot
Completely false.
So very wrong.
WHOA

WHOA WHOA WHOA

Okay i take it back, not an idiot. I just hate listening to him
WHOA

WHOA WHOA WHOA

I'll leave this to you. You're better at it than me.
Why on earth would you hate listening to Simms?

Aside from Dave he’s the best we’ve got.

maybe i should just witch over to the radio broadcast.
It's Rizzs right now.

Fairly bland.

It's not because he's black is it?
Maybe he hates traitors to the Mushroom Kingdom

This always makes me smile.
of course not. I just dont like his voice. And besides, if you didn't know he was black I don't think you could tell by his voice.
I thought it would be strange because Sims is a total oreo
For a black guy he sure wears a lot of silly white people hats
?

Don't they have wardrobe people?
You'd rather listen to Rizzs over Sims?
So who's good? Joe Morgan?
He could be partnered with McCarver

It can always be worse!

Dude. No.
I like tits
*Dead meme
Piss off

nicknames aren’t memes

Nicknames are capitalized.

We all love tits.

This will be our first 3 hour game I think
I hate watching this much baseball :(
I have a very limited watching the Mariners be shitty tolerance
But a nearly infinite watching the Angel implode tolerance
I'm glad the start times for the Cards and M's are 5 hours apart tomorrow
After the first inning, I put on a movie.

Sometimes you just have a feeling that your time could be better spent. I had that feeling before the first pitch.

But with tomorrow comes Felix Day!

That was a shocking noice by Sims

What the fuck he did it again, I’m scared

noise*
It's okay, it's the British spelling, right?
BHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ANGELS SUCK

ANGELS BASEBALL!

10-8, 1 out.

When Adam Everett is hitting off of you, quit baseball
And the top of the order is up

funny how the pen was meant to be the Angels’ strength. They are so boned right now.

Ha, Adam Everett is driving in runs.
He pinch hit last night.

Jim Leyland is the AL’s Tony La Russa.

Free Jeff Clement!
Ahh, this seems more likely.

Baker says it is that no visiting AL team has scored in every inning.

STEAL MORE BASES
My goodness the Angel defence is about -10 wins compared to ours
Equalizer!
Cool.

tres obscure

I salute you.

If you want obscure...

how about him starring in a musical based on a Noel Coward play?

Is this the one based on Blithe Spirit?
Yup.

Actually, a pretty good adaptation— a little heavy on wacky stuff for Mme Arcati to do, as they had cast Bea Lillie, and had to justify it.

Who says LL isn't cultured?

We’re talking about Noel Coward adaptations for god’s sake.

Oh come on, show some mercy
The bases are loaded again with one out.

I want to see Placido Domingo find some missing power here.

Curtis Granderon is intent on prolonging the Angels' agony.
We're definately on track for the dullest division loss of the day.
Dear god

two pitchers, four runs, one out, and the sacks are still juiced.

Not for long, methinks.
I think we have a legitimate chance of winning this division with under 80 wins
Has a team ever done that?
I don't know and I'm too lazy to look it up

But I doubt it

Padres came closest

82-80 a couple years ago

Pretty sure all the division winners in 1994 did it.

Technicalities!

AHAHAHAHHAHAH!

YES!!!!

I called it.
Wait no I didn't
Dang.

I could have been watching The miracle at Morgan’s Creek

FUCK YOU, MAGS.
whoa

whoa whoa whoa

NOT IN AN IMAGINARY ROMANTIC KIND OF WAY
Magglio you rally-killing fuck.
Scoreless inning.
There's an M's game on?
No, it ended a couple of hours ago
They didn't score that inning!
Haha batista is full of surprises
Child gambling is an epidemic
Can you make change for an 8-year-old?
I don't know I just remember losing all my pogs once and being a bit upset
I still have my slammers
The best slammer I've ever seen was a golf ball
Ah shit, I just realized I am listening to Rex Hudler.
So...the Tigers are going to blow this.

Anyone else agree?

No, but you're the guy who makes predictions, so maybe
I don't get it, everyone is still happy

There’s no way I could still manage to have fun at a Mariners game like this. I’d just be too depressed that I spent money on the tickets.

OH GOD I WANT TO SEE
Batista has a 1.50 ERA.
I like the trend in this graph:

Gary Matthews Jr. just struck out on three consecutive called strikes.

That’s indescribably wonderful.

If I had to listen to Rex Hudler every day I think I would just go ahead and make myself a cocktail of the chemicals under the sink
Our new plan is to try to kill them with bat splinters
Jose Lopez is behind the ash-bug epidemic.
Rob Johnson wears Snelling's number and hits worse than Snelling
Well, he runs better.
He doesn't have the Sid Bream leg

Yet

Ahaha Juan Rivera grounds into DP.
Angels 7th inning:

- Napoli walks
- GMJ strikes out on three consecutive called strikes, never taking the bat off his shoulders
- Rivera GIDPs on third pitch.

can't someone on this team

start juicing?

also, if we were allowed one guy to hit the juice...

who would u want it to be?

Please use better grammar and punctuation

To answer your question, Aardsma, just to see.

Sounds like it would hurt!
Sean White's favorite midnight snack is milk and cookies.
I never would have thought...
Also, did you know that Adrian Betlre's favorite show is Friends

And his favorite movie is Love Actually

Friends must become funny after you translate it into Spanish
"Hoooooollllllllaaaaaa."
( I don't know any Friends catch phrases so I'm doing a Fonzie)
It's a good thing
¿Podría usar más ropa?
Work on your use of tenses, bitch.
He venido fijar la copiadora.
Having never watched Friends, I have no idea whether this is actually a catchphrase from the show or not.
I still watch Carol Burnett. What do I know.
Always a good thing.
I came to fix the copier?
From Joey's bit part in a porno, as the guy who came to fix the copier, but couldn't because the leads were busy, on top of it.

“There I am. There I am. There I am.”

"¿cómo te va?"

(How you doin?)

Rachel: Oye, ¿verdad chicos ver los nuevos secadores de manos en el baño?

Ross: Yo creía que era sólo un rumor.

I wish there were hand dryers in my bathroom
Bonanza in Spanish is pretty entertaining.
Batista, on the other hand, likes cheescake
Dibs I the pomagrante blueberry mix.
Jason Bulger now coming in to face Cabrera/Guillen/Laird

This has the potential for deliciousness.

We can still rally.
That's gotta be like the 5th leadoff walk of the inning.
It's like the Run Lola Run of innings.
I'm really starting to fucking hate Longoria.
Why?
Because he's the new Mariner killer.
I think Mariners do more Mariner killing than anyone.
Self-imolation.
Because he's good.
Enjoy

Was that Putz who shattered his hand?
Looks like it
DIRTY FUCKER
It cost them the division
What's the little wave thing JJ does with his right hand after the pitch?
Sympathy pains?
"My bad" wave?
It looks like a very strange motion to me
I thought it was a "He was swinging" wave.
"Nyaah nyaah you little twat!"
Is Batista really throwing 95?
Isn't that about where he was as a reliever before? 94-95?
I think we're losing
(Rays fan here) Who is your TV crew tonight?

I actually kind of enjoy them.

Dave Sims

This is all you need to know.

I think it's Sims and Mike Blowers tonight.
Is it just me or does Batista work unbearably slow?
Can someone make an Eva Longoria joke to lighten up the mood here?

Just kidding. That would be crossing the line.

It's against the rules
Eva/Evan Longoria jokes are so unfunny as to run you the risk of banning.
As well they should.
Using chatspeak like "u" and "r" instead of the complete words is another way to see the inside of the box.

Just so you know.

Maybe we want her boxed.
Three outs until we can officially not care too much about this loss.
RUN PREVENTION CHA CHA CHA!
Hey twinkletoes. You're late.
This game is a killer.
No caps?
Can't muster it tonight.
Goddamn
We killed chinn
Jakabauskas did.
It was either that or he would eventually explode
chinn is my favorite
How could he not be?

StopIt!StopIt!StopIt!StopIt!StopIt!
That's hypnotizing
I have swirly eyes.
Who is the Ranger?

I’m mesmerized.

He melted like one of his .GIFs
Bobby Seay looks like he has a terrible, socially crippling skin condition.

Poor bastard.

I love Gutz so much

and this is how he treats me.

Too bad we can't capitalize on the division losses.
Well by not losing any ground I would positively suggest that the burden is on the others
Wow I was worried I missed a game

Niehaus just told me the M’s have only stranded one runner. Weeee.

3-hitter!
The gamethread is better than this POS game, until the abject apathy and despair completely took over.

Huh, Ichiro gonna stand in there for a double now?

I have spent four minutes looking at my stove!
How does it look?
White
On the inside?
Dark
Natural or is it due to burnt food?
I'm a good cook
That doesn't really answer my question.
I'm not interested enough to give you what you want
I was just trying to make conversation.
Good cucks make mistakes too.
Nice typo gaywad.
Is it self-cleaning?!
You forgot to turn it on and the frozen pizza is still frozen eh?
Ha ha Brandon Inge just shat all over Angels relief
My Gf made it sound like some porous Angels OF defense

also took place.

Earlier, perhaps.

This time it was a home run.

Well that works.
Really hope Felix is good tomorrow
Just assume he will piss you off and suck.

That way, you can’t get hurt and only have upside-surprise to look forward to.

Come on Ichi-balls!
Stat padding time!
Now you swing away you little hamster
Hope Ichiro steals 3rd
And then a try for home,maybe?
It's Wak ball man
Adam Everett is 3 for 4 tonight and is currently batting .308

With an amazing (for him) .764 OPS.

Let’s trade Yuni for him.

I thought the screen went black and everybody left the field after three hours
I liked the 3 1/2 hr games from 2000
We might only be down by three if not for Yuni's GIDP
The Wendy's commical is kind of depressing.

It is like they are saying: Hey, you will eat the same crappy food for your whole life loser.

M's spent time working on small ball tactics earlier today

But they only scored on a 3-run homerun.

Is that you, Joe Morgan?

Wak-Ball will lead to at least one suicide among LL readers during this season.

Mark it down.

Chavez you beast!
Endy is a wonderful person,

and I love him..

Dave went through all the possibilities on that one.
Wow, there is nobody left at Safeco.

It started as a typical April Wednesday night small crowd. And now, well, I don’t blame them for leaving.

FUCK OFF RAUL!!!!
AHAHAH! Endy!
Nice one, Endy.
What the fuck Beltre
So Beltre obviously gave up already.
Beltre's ready for bed.
Jesus, Dave had absolutely no idea what was going on with that one.
So true, does he ever?
Beltre's really ready for bed.
JESUS FUCK BELTRE
What is happening to you Adrian??

It’s like he’s transforming into Yuni

Yuni's a team leader
This game just needs to hurry up and end
Just got back from the game (it was cold and kind of boring)

can someone explain why Rob Johnson was called back to the plate after the dropped his infield popup? I’m assuming it was ruled a foul ball somehow, but from where I was sitting it looked fair.

They touched the ball in foul territory, rendering the ball foul.
Thanks to both.
Navarro knocked it into fair territory but it was foul
I hate this game
I love it!

Beltre is making himself worse so it’s harder to trade him now right?

Yay! He'll never leave us!
Hooch is helping.
Beltre just Yuni'd!

Defined as two consecutive misplays on two consecutive plays.

100% win expectancy.
For the Rays, of course.
Impossible until 27 outs are recorded
I've lost count.

Is that run unearned?

Yes
I hate the unearned ones more
Too many errors and near-errors.
FELIX TOMORROW!
And James Shields.
GET IN THE BOX DIPSHIT
Well 3 out of our 5 starters seem to be good this season

Plus RRS maybe when he comes back, so that’s not too bad

Can we just erase this game?
Seriously how can Jeff Clement be so much worse that his bat doesn't make up the difference by a factor of 5?
Or even Adam Moore.

If Clement is banned from the Mariners like he seems to be.

This is so sad.

On so many different levels.

I can't believe anybody is still watching this
Got to watch something during commercials of Ultimate Fighter.
New South Park!!
Gene Krupa.
and Rose Murphy.

huh.

Thank you for the reminder.

Was wondering what to watch next.

South Park Studios is on the other side of the building from me.
SIX RUNS BOYS
Totally doable

Forget FanGraphs. Jay Buhner is going to the dugout to give a pep talk right now.

So wait Jeffie isn't ready to be a catcher but Rob is?
Time for..

A Magical 7-run ninth!

Ral-ly Ral-ly Ral-ly Ral-ly Ral-ly
Well poop.
Very true. A many man is not so wildly insecure.
*manly + reply fail
Wouldn't a really Manly Man not give a flying fuck whether anyone thought diet cola was sissy?
Is there like 20 people there?
Give or take, yep.
So, if one had tickets waaaaaaaaay down in 246 or 247

One could, in theory, move closer.

I like Griffey back when he wasn't terrible
Yes

It is pretty painful to watch.

Griffey bad, No Branyan, No Sweeney, No Johjima

And still no Shelton or Clement or Moore…

So what is happening to the Angel's pitching staff

is happening to our bats

Griffey ready for bed.
Baserunner!
FERNANDO RODNEY NEEDS TO BE BURNED AT THE STAKE
Tying run at the plate for the Angels....
Kangaroo Court is sure to get plenty of business this year.
They're gonna have to send out Jury duty notices they'll be so busy.
Adrian Beltre is a fag.
WOW

Beltre. Beltre.

Beltre wants to go to Bed.
LET'S GO M'S!

Who is pitching in that picture?
Pretty sure that's Carl Everett.
Carl Everett is pitching?
He had his changeup working for him that game
Oh pitching.

I missed a word. Tired.

Don't worry about it. Just never do it again.
Clutch DP by Beltre.
Thank God that's done.
Fuck you, Beltre
Fuck fuck fuck the Angels are coming back
What? It was the 9th. What?
They're putting on a 2 out rally in the 9th, 12-10 Detroit with the tying run at the plate
So much for that.
And finally, the pain is over.
That was almost like a bunt attempt.
Finally over

Felix tomorrow! Even if we lose, it can’t be as depressing as this game was.

I would wager that such a loss would be many times more depressing
Yay, Tigers.
Game Over

Tigers win.

We had the best lost in the division.

Nothing went well.

Shitty loss, off to the Tyranno Lair for me,

those reptites have a lesson to learn.

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