Lookout Landing

Ha ha, AJ's throw wasn't even close.

Haha what a terrible throw AJ

You have a girly noodle arm.

MIchael Barrett said the same.

Was that before or after he smacked him across the jaw?

That was the joke, Ted

Yuni had that by a mile.

A-HAAAAAAA!

SUCK IT, AJ!!!!!!

LOOK AT THAT CUBAN RUN

Yuni has freaked the fuck out.

Nice throw, American Midwest

Will they ever throw anybody out?

I know that defense at catcher is kinda just said to be a wash

and everyone is about league average, is there an arm stat like they have for outfielders? I haven’t seen anything around, so are there some complications that I can’t think of that have stopped this from happening? Has it been done and shown to be inconclusive? It seems that AJ’s not throwing ANYONE out so far has to be costing Chicago some runs.

It's starting to seem like AJ's arm is a crippling weakness

absolutely

doorpeep - April 28, 2009 reply

Pierzynski is, himself,

A crippling weakness.

This is a reply to Zwakamatsu's falling in love with Sims

What got me was the Sims’ call for the catch Gutz made crashing into the Safeco centerfield wall. “Oh, BABY, he made the catch!”

That was priceless.

I'll like Sims more when he stops calling Rob Johnson's speed "good".

Or at least qualifies it by saying “…for a catcher” afterwards.

100% agreed.

I don't really mind.

Neihaus can’t give anything resembling good analysis either. The main responsibility of the play by play announcer is to have a nice, pleasant voice, be a good storyteller, keep your catchphrases reasonably fresh, and go nuts when something cool happens – and Dave and Dave are both outstanding at it.

As for color commentary…

You know, I've watched more games this year than the last few years combined.

Dave Sims is starting to grow on me. When I asked who people would prefer between him and Rex Hudler, I was sadly mistaken, as Dave does a fine job calling a game and shows emotion, which I like. But the way he won’t let go of the Johnson speed deal annoys me. Don’t worry. I’ll work past it.

And actually Ichiro's grand slam was pretty good too.

Absolutely priceless. I'm in love with him too.

Sinking Away - April 28, 2009 reply

Actually, I don't think anyone could possibly convey the glorious "sex in midair" that Gutz is better than Sims did that day.

ICHISPEED

Two Rs and Two Ls - April 28, 2009 reply

Betancourt should have been on third after the fly ball to Dye.

He rainbowed the hell out of that throw. Could be 7-0.

Still waiting for Ichiro to execute a flying kick on a first baseman

Did someone put

Ether in Chicago’s Gatorade???

Endy hit that ball as hard as Yuni's homer

Not dark enough

Endy hit that ball as hard as Yuni's homer while sadistically murdering children.

Eyebrows - April 28, 2009 reply

Just got back from dinner

WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS OFFENSE BEFORE?

cwel87 - April 28, 2009 reply

Back to back Curve balls

<3

bluemax - April 28, 2009 reply

I like how Blowers keeps emphasizing that Felix has a good change tonight

perhaps he read the post on here earlier.

bluemax - April 28, 2009 reply

Wasn't that post about how his changeup isn't good?

We're turning back the hands of time?

Why has no one made a bigger deal out of this?

After all the fuss made over the Hadron Collider they let these clowns fuck around with time itself?!

Don't want the team to start sucking old-school.

Everyone is playing it cool. We don't want the past to think we are nervous or trying too hard.

mark sobba - April 28, 2009 reply

The past has no fucking idea

5 pitches that inning?

Felix

is just mowing these guys down tonight. Hurrah!

ewakio - April 28, 2009 reply

5-pitch inning.

Damn!

Felix is good at locating his groundballs

ColeFitz88 - April 28, 2009 reply

Maybe back-to-back complete games?

I had not realized that as a possibility. That would make me very happy.

Certainly headed towards it.

We should warm up Batista and sit him down and warm him up again like five times

We're like the best team in the major leagues right now

I'm thinking complete game shut out

Three to Beltre?

Nice.

DAMellen - April 28, 2009 reply

JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAVE I MISSED? EFFICIENT FELIX?

Back-to-back-to-back no hitters?

White Sox have 5 hits today.

3 actually.

Operative word: Today

Oh, forgot. Sorry.

Let this serve as a lesson to never correct anyone ever

Sean Green's line today against the Marlins

1 IP 2 H 4 ER 2 BB

Is that box score in new york right?

10 in the 7th for yanks?

d rod - April 28, 2009 reply

Yep

Capped by a Jose Molina grand slam, no less

Hahahaha Danks got owned by a lineup of dung!

The "ha ha" on us is that we got owned by Bartolo Freaking Colon earlier.

RUSSELL BRANYAN 4-4!

4-4 for Russ

The Muscle.

Russell Branyan is on fire

BRANYAN IS SOMETHIN ELSE!

4 for 4 RUSSELL

I think Branyan's going to be fine as an everyday player

I'm starting to not want him to leave next season

I would be ecstatic if we could re-sign Branyan and Endy for a reasonable price

Saunders is coming

Isn't he still out with injury?

Even if Saunders can return by mid season, it seems unlikely that he’ll be able to impress much. He had some struggles at AAA last season.

I love Endy as the 4th outfielder and a backup to Gutierrez. Keeping him around for 2 years at a reasonable price doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me.

He'll be back very soon

This week, apparently

Oh baby...

If the reports are projecting him correctly, a lefty who’s a league average hitter with good defense in Safeco Field. We’ve spent 15 years looking for such a left-fielder.

Too many Ks

What's he need to cut his K-rate down to to have a good shot at being a league average hitter?

We already had Winn :(

But the Fates ripped from our hands :(

(Bavasi = the Fates)

*ripped Winn from our hands

So do you think Saunders' defense + offense over the next, say, 2 years, as a bench bat

is more useful to the team than Endy Chavez in the same role at a few million per season?

I see Saunders as a starter instead of a bench bat

I’d be thrilled with Endy as a fourth OF but if Saunders develops as I expect him to this summer, I want him to have the opportunity to start.

I agree

I just like Endy’s flexibility, in that he could fulfill both roles if necessary. Saunders as a starter and Endy as the 4th outfielder would be ideal to me, so long as we’re not overpaying for his services. Even if we are overpaying, the recent trend teams are taking to valuing defense makes me believe Chavez could be traded, especially if 2009 is a mid-career resurgence for him.

Saunders has a good chance to be a starting outfielder within the next year

Depends on how he does at Tacoma

Resign him as a third basemanj.

Jed MC - April 28, 2009 reply

SMALL SAMPLE SIZE

4 for 4!

Prediction strikeout

Russell's been pretty lucky today, but I'm sure he doesn't have a problem with that.

Maybe he is upset that more will be expected of him

BRANYAN YES!

He might end up being Zduriencik’s masterpiece.

I was readying that for Gutierrez.

GMZ's the only guy who ever really gave Branyan a chance.

Here and in Milwaukee.

I wasn't aware he gave him time in Milwaukee.

If he hits 30 HR’s he is going to be an absolute steal at 1.4 M. I thought he was older than 33 too. That’s pretty awesome.

Holy shit pronouns.

LET'S GO POCKMARK!

Are we allowed to transfer 2 of our runs to the last game?

No, we're not the home team and thus cannot make the rules.

Elegant.

Texas takes a 4-3 lead over Oakland in the 6th

That’s a good thing I suppose

I'd rather Texas win than Oakland.

Do cameramen feel strange having to focus on other cameramen?

Unwritten cameraman pact

Since it’s the only way they can get on TV

Not if they're sexy teenage cameramen

Then I guess they'd feel strange but in a different place ;)

This is an erection joke

Or adorable toddler cameramen.

Throw it fucker

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Buhhh?

AND THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMING

Nice.

Rizzs is telling us about Bill Veeck's ill-advised 'shorts' experiment.

It took him seven innings to get to that?

Yup.

He had to work through the demolition of Old Comisky, the remodel of New Comisky, the first ballgame he attended in 1959, humorous anecdotes about ballplayers and how well Jak pitched.

Bruce Hines has a twat

How wonderful for him!

All that chatting, we still got a basehit, ha ha

Yuni is up... this is the first time I can remember being happy about that

There is no reason you should be happy about that

Except that

It won't last

Indigo_Satellite - April 28, 2009 reply

In your face

Get ready for disappointment.

Hahahaha I was right

I was just going to say the same.

Don’t fill your heart with too much love, greg. Yuni’s about to rip it out.

All I meant was that he's hot tonight

GOD REALLY HATES US

watch Yuni hit a grand slam and get locked in the lineup for a month

Yeah fuck I hate when our players hit grand slams

That's the problem I'm having. Winning is so disappointing some times.

He could be much better. He’s been better defensively, he clearly had the talent, did he lose it, or does he not care enough to play to his potential? Or maybe, he doesn’t have it anymore. I think the same is true of his offense. If he’d listen to his coaches, take some pitches, he could be much more useful on offense. Is he just wanting to get paid? Does this man have no pride? No matter what the answers, thanks for the RBIs.

Sinking Away - April 28, 2009 reply

Bahahahahahahahahahaha

Dammit Betancourt!

WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO YUNI

holy fuck

Jesus Christ 5 RBI for Yuni and 4 hits what the flying fuck

This is unbelievably hilarious

YUNI bitch hits

Wait, what the hell is going on here?

AAHAHAHAAA YUNI!

Man...

couldn’t they have spared some of this for last game?

WE ARE THE BEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF SOFTBALL

I am genuinely flabbergasted with this team of rabble rousers.

That's another trolley on the tracks

The Mariner Train?

You'd expect Gutz to be riding the middle of that train though

Seriously another gay joke?

Sometimes heterosexual males like to have things shoved up their pooper

Are these the nights that Ms. Jeff becomes Mr. Jeff?

Slippery.

gross

Ms. Jeff is a saint you leave her alone

To the...box?

No in these cases the object goes to the anus

Of Jeff

Jeff’s anus

Still not following you

This is a desperate cry for attention

Ew

I was about to say Gutz should be in there b/c of a high OBP...

… but its probably just a gay joke

Betancourt is in the strangest of positions...

…hated for doing good and hated for doing bad.

Bad swing, good result. He's still an assclown

Ditto'd

But a lovable silly assclown

He did it to himself.

Like our whole team last June through September

If he wants to keep this up all year I'm all for it

'Cuz he's bad and kinda lucky

I want him to do good.

I just don’t want him to be lazy on defense and, if possible, to eat less midnight pulled pork sandwichs.

You knew "sandwich" wasYuni's answer to "favorite midnight snack"!

You must have the Birthdays from the ballpark cookbook, too!

James Kannengieser - April 28, 2009 reply

Hey, Met fans want to thank you for Sean Green

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

If he ever faces a lefty it's y'all's own fault

No prob enjoy!

ColeFitz88 - April 28, 2009 reply

You are welcome. Enjoy your complimentary Reed.

Jed MC - April 28, 2009 reply

No Problem Friend!

We have plenty of those where that came from. Stop by during the summer for our Chad Cordero special!

I forgot about him :(

So did everyone else as soon as Morrow moved

Yeah? Well, we have to deal with Endy Chavez. And Mike Carp. So, we're even.

How's reduced velocity JJ Putz working for you?

Happy to help.

Wait until you realize Putz is a putz

You guys could really use another closer

Aaaaaaaaand Burke kills it.

lol flip'd to lilbridge

Fuck you Burke.

Goddamned Debbie Downer.

What did he do, or fail to do? I just got the game on.

Kermit. - April 28, 2009 reply

Killed a rally.

Yuni

is having the game of his life.

bluemax - April 28, 2009 reply

Would this be a good time to point out that Clement went yard today?

I think I've said this before, but what the hell.

Free Jeffie!

I would think so.

TOO BAD HE CAN'T DO IT AGAINST MAJOR LEAGUE PITCHING

GUY’S ONLY AN AAAAER

katal - April 28, 2009 reply

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Don't hurt em Felix.

Oh no, please do.

He's waiting for Beltran.

KKKKKKKK

Felix is completely unenthused by his own dominance.

Crazy strike % for Felix tonight

I'm tumescent, there's no doubt about it

A day this cold should be a fuck-you-I'm-throwing-inside day

So he just strikes people out now and the broadcasters can barely be bothered to mention it.

It's getting fairly ho hum

Bah

NONONONONONO A BASEHIT FUCK THIS TEAM SEASON OVER

I wonder what the fuck they thought would happen

if you run out a lineup with Betemit and AJ as your token lefties against Felix? Really…

m's need a dp rite here

Yes!

You can put it on the board!

YES!

This is fresh and entertaining!

Yeah.

Not played out at all.

Nice call.

BINGO

Oh, fortune!

WIN

I missed this meme

I want Sims to say it again at some point.

Hurricanes just tied up vs Devils with 2 mins left

Playoff overtime hockey is delicious, especially Game 7

Free Ronny Cedeno

This is fucked

You can forget OT, jeezus

!

!
!
!
!
!
!
!

Go Hurricanes!

Fuck off.

You love me - you just don't like my Carolina style.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASDFJHASLDKJFHASLDKFJAHSDKLFJH

I AM SO HAPPY

Shrew.

The Devils have broken me before so for all I care they can fall off a cliff

Yes. That's been made clear.

THIS TOTALLY MAKES UP FOR ANAHEIM BEATING THE SHARKS

JUST ABOUT

THIS PLUS OVI TAKING ON SID IN THE SEMIS

ROOTING INTERESTS!!

NO LONGER WILL I HAVE TO ROOT FOR THE BRUINS!!!

CAPS AND CANES MOTHERFUCKERS

I'M NOT THE KISS OF DEATH!!!!

AO leaping on Fedorov made my night

THE PART WHERE THEY WON AND SEAN AVERY WAS CRYING AND THEN BRODEUR SHIT HIMSELF MADE MY NIGHT

ALSO FELIX IS INVOLVED

AND NOW POSSIBLY BRANYAN

Eaves and Corvo are still in the playoffs, while Alfie sits at home.

Weird fucking world.

A RUUTU LIVES ON

WORLD IS RIGHTED!

I don't like you.

I call bullshit

Call it whatever you want.

Whatever, you don't even like the Devils

Trying not to like the Devils is different than not liking the Devils.

Today is a good day to start!

It's really easy, just watch me

I'm doing it right now

Is Mr. Wonderful playing in your head too?

No but sexual scenarios with Felix are currently on loop

Spicy.

Sounds like Mr. Wonderful to me.

No.

I am sorry that you are sad.

But today is a great day.

Yeah.

Affection?

You're right.

I am fond of Matthew. Damn his sinister charm.

Acid reflux.

Get raped by a shattered broom handle.

Faux - April 29, 2009 reply

DP!

Okay that was pretty sweet

In my head Beltre stays mentally stable as long as he's making those defensive plays

8/3/4 GB/FB/LD

I am happy. Felix makes me happy.

Felix is getting so lucky tonight

What're you going to do to him?

Well played

I see what you did there.

No what I was trying to say was that he is lucky on the mound tonight, while pitching. It seems like a lot of things are going his way.

I am sorry if my comment got construed as sexual in any way

;)

76% strikes for Felix tonight

That's better than Jaubau's first start

I wonder if Miguel Cairo is sad that he has only played 2 innings in the field all season

His paycheck probably cheers him up.

Jed MC - April 28, 2009 reply

Miguel Cairo himself has no idea why he is in the major leagues.

Miguel Cairo does not strike me as the kind of guy who is aware he sucks

I don't know, I just imagine him planning his retirement when Gillick calls

Gillick: We’d like you to come to spring training with an eye on making the club.
Cairo: …really?

From what I understand he actually asked the Phillies if they'd take a chance on him

He's like Soho - he plays with the Yankees for a few seasons and he thinks he's Phil Rizzuto

FUCK THE DEVILS

CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

Yes. Thanks.

HOLY SHIT!

What an ending!!!

Go suck on a tailpipe

Faux - April 29, 2009 reply

So much for the ankle sub-plot, he's killing tonight

Kermit. - April 28, 2009 reply

Shhh.

Lance Broadway is such a porn name

No bullpen doubleheader

I’d have to think, if Felix finishes this up, we’d do something that might make Tim Kurkjian pleased. Two complete games in a doubleheader can’t be common these days.

Gihyou - April 28, 2009 reply

Actually though, has this happened?

Does Jaku get credit for a complete game?

Yes.

I have no idea.

Do you have to go nine frames to get credit for a complete game?

Apparently not if your team loses a road game

I thought it was the case that you can have an 8-inning complete game in this circumstance, but I don’t know for sure.

Gihyou - April 28, 2009 reply

I wish I had a last name like Broadway

Give my regards to Broadway ....

remember me to Herald Square

Broadway rythym's got me, everybody dance!

You can dance, you can dance, everybody look at your pants.

My posse's on Broadway...

Posse UP!

I used to be the King, the King of Old Broadway

Lance Broadway definitely knows Frabklin professionally

They were a DP combo in the old days

Lance was on the mound and Frabklin worked the backfield

WAAA WAAaaa waaaa

It appears Endy is regressing slightly

"HEY SWEENEY EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE GONNA STRIKE OUT"

“Mariners have really kept this Sox crowd quiet this evening. Except for one or two voices.”

Oh Sims.

That was probably esoteric anyway

Seems fairly straight forward to me.

Mariner John - April 28, 2009 reply

Try pulling that one off Junior you fat old fuck

They have awakened the latent fire within him

This will be an icebreaker when he shows up at your house.

I have a no loitering sign and Griffey's too fat old and slow to do anything else

Are you sure he can read?

I don't know about you but I think your comment comes off a little bit racist

In today’s America certain sectors of the black population are educated.

I'm from the public school system in Yakima, WA. Cut me some fuckin' slack, homie.

And by homie I mean vato.

I call bullshit on you having that sign.

Mike Sweeney has good speed.

Nice hit by Sweeney.

Never take 2nd on that again :)

Sweeney, we needed that last game.

Wilder. - April 28, 2009 reply

Sweeney! Why the fuck not!

Wait what the hell was the point of that

Sims: "Mariners really kept the crowd quiet in game two."

As opposed to game 1 when there was no crowd.

Last chance for Beltre to have an AB that isn't horrible for today

He did it kind of!!

A single and he still can't get that RBI

How has Sweeney not injured himself yet

Jesus

Didn't work for Shaun Alexander.

Are you saying John Madden is more powerful than Jesus?

I'm not not saying that.

Beltre finally found a way to get on base.

We’ll take it.

HORRAY FOR BELTRE!

What a LAA hit

Well a hit's a hit I guess

Finally the luck train give Beltre a lift.

Mike Sweeney just loves the game of baseball. He'll only remember the fond memories and not the painful injuries at all in the least bit

EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ADRIAN!

Man, Lillibridge is horrible

Good thing the Orioles didn’t slip GS52 for him.

flip*

Way to go Lopez!

We haven't been able to score from second on singles all game.

Bwahahahaha

Loafie!

Offense!

YES YES YES RUNS ARE YUMMY

MORE RUNZ!

What in the hell..

17 hits...

18 hits?

Let's hope Lopez and Beltre get on a roll after today.

RIGHT DOWN BROADWAY!

I don't want this game to end

Holy shit

Kermit. - April 28, 2009 reply

If we have too many hits in this game we won't be able to get hits in the next couple of games

I see your logic.

No no that means we're hot

and so we’ll outperform our ability for multiple games after this one.

BRANYAANNN YEAHHHHHHH!!!

BRANYAN

HAHAHAHAHAHA

So, has Felix been amazing this game?

And Yuni?
I just got here. I have bad timing.

yuniform - April 28, 2009 reply

Yes and yes. Yuni has 4 hits and 5 RBI including a 3 run HR

Just checking.

Thanks.

yuniform - April 28, 2009 reply

Branyan is a G

5 FOR 5 - BRANYAN!!!!

Hahaha this is fucking awesome

FIVE FOR FIVE BABY

RUSSELL BRANYAN IS A FUCKING MAN!

Holy shit 5-5 for Russ

Man, Dave Sims is incredible!

So is Branyan.

I did like the emotion there by Dave.

BRANYAN

MUSCLES FIVE!

YESYESYESYESYESYES

Oh lord Russ...

Holy crap, the hits just keep on coming!

The Mariners have more hits than the White Sox have balls in play

HOLY CRAP 5-5!

I AM BUYING A BRANYAN JERSEY

Crystal for DH - April 28, 2009 reply

REMEMBER WHEN MIGUEL CAIRO PLAYED 1B REGULARLY

I assume that people wore onions on their belt.

It was the style at the time in 2008

Good gravy

Jakubauskas is sobbing, head planted deeply in the dirt so nobody sees.

That would be an amusing way for someone to drown

Russell Branyan is not supposed to go 5 for 5

Progression to the mean!

Five....Five Hit....Five Hit Niggghhht...

A Mariner gets five hits, you get a free sandwich. Come on, Subway, make this happen.

Gihyou - April 28, 2009 reply

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

AWWWWWWWW THOUGHT HE HAD THAT 1

Wow I thought that one was gone

Warning track power!

damn wlad

Oh my I thought he had that. The crowd fooled me with their "ohhahhh's"

Maybe on a warmer day that would be something to celebrate

My tolerance has gone to shit. One bottle of Speedway Stout and I am not what the Mormons call sober

You can't drink water

And be what Mormons call “sober”.

RESIGN RUSSEL

RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL RESIGN RUSSEL