Biggest Contribution: Adrian Beltre, +14.7%
Biggest Suckfest: Shawn Kelley, -35.6%
Most Important AB: Griffey double, +20.1%
Most Important Pitch: Betemit double, -21.8%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -37.6%
Total Contribution by Lineup: -16.5%
Total Contribution by Opposition: +4.1%
(What is this chart?)
1 recs | 110 comments
Predicted Corco response: "Hawk is the man"
Jeff Sullivan - April 29, 2009
At what point is he banned?
Matthew - April 29, 2009
I don't know yet but if it ever happens I want to be the one to pull the plug
Jeff Sullivan - April 29, 2009
I would have done it already if I weren't deferring to you on this one.
Matthew - April 29, 2009
Graham stole the AK glory from me so Corco must be mine
Jeff Sullivan - April 29, 2009
You would never have actually done it you girl
Graham MacAree - April 29, 2009
Plus he'll think it's me anyway
Graham MacAree - April 29, 2009
I tell you what,
I am hopeful that he e-mails another tome of complaints if/when it does happen.
Matthew - April 29, 2009
I'm skeptical
Jeff Sullivan - April 29, 2009
He was the Joker to your Batman
Graham MacAree - April 29, 2009
Not really
Jeff Sullivan - April 29, 2009
Unlike the other morons who fuck with you, he wasn't an out n' out idiot
He could totally cite some esoteric SABR stuff if he so chose – so he earned some slack.
Graham MacAree - April 29, 2009
Maybe I should do it.
He’ll have no idea who’s fucking with him now.
Steve Nelson - May 2, 2009
WRONG
Graham MacAree - April 29, 2009
Last night I had a dream that I was in a bar where the bartender 86'd people by yelling "HE GAWN!"
I have a feeling I will have an even more horrifying dream tonight.
You are a bad person.
Aaron Campeau - April 29, 2009
That's honestly disturbing.
abender20 - April 29, 2009
I think he looks sweet
Jeff Sullivan - April 29, 2009
He looks like he is going to swoop down and swallow my cat whole.
Aaron Campeau - April 29, 2009
That is very similar to my first idea for what picture to insert
Jeff Sullivan - April 29, 2009
Oh god, HE DOES.
royalcurve - April 29, 2009
This is an apt comparison
OlSalty - April 29, 2009
'Cause he's a FUCKING RAPTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chinn - April 29, 2009
Perhaps a bunny
Kirsten Schlewitz - April 29, 2009
I had three dreams that we lost today's game 4-1 last night
Graham MacAree - April 29, 2009
So you should start betting spreads
abender20 - April 29, 2009
It's sad when we are even mediocre in your dreams
OlSalty - April 29, 2009
Before the Felix Twins game in 2007 I had a nightmare that he allowed two hits in a complete game shutout
I remember being furious.
Graham MacAree - April 29, 2009
I never dream about baseball in my sleep.
JI - April 29, 2009
YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOARD YAAAAAAUUUHHHHHHHH!
chinn - April 29, 2009
Yuck.
Phil Hatzenbuehler - April 29, 2009
When he gets his Ford Frick,
it will be like when Wendy the lazy slug who calls in sick once a week and takes two-hour lunches wins employee of the month because everyone else has already won it.
waldo rojas - April 29, 2009
inanimate carbon rod!
pdb - April 29, 2009
Yes!
royalcurve - April 29, 2009
In Rod We Trust
Leper in the Backfield - April 29, 2009
Yes!
royalcurve - April 29, 2009
Yes!
Sec 108 - April 29, 2009
No!
Aaron Campeau - April 29, 2009
Maybe?
pdb - April 29, 2009
On MLB.tv?
Jeff Sullivan - April 29, 2009
Feck.
royalcurve - April 29, 2009
Dead meme
JI - April 29, 2009
In my experience...
Wendy the lazy slug gets promoted instead.
JY - April 29, 2009
So much for everyone liking Shawn Kelly
I couldn’t watch the game… was Bedard just off today? Too cold to get loose?
I know the last two runs weren’t really his fault, but his K total was pretty low, and he came out early. I saw the Game Day update when Griffey doubled and figured this one was in the bag with how our pitching staff had been shutting Chicago down. Now I am making the sad clown face.
johnbai - April 29, 2009
Didn't have any command of his fastball
He had good velocity, though (92.3 average, topped out at 94.5[!]), so I’m calling it an off day in cold weather.
Jeff Sullivan - April 29, 2009
The lone upside down one is what sells this chart.
Matthew - April 29, 2009
Sad panda...
Slurvey - April 29, 2009
Strange.
After the team started 8-3, I figured if we went 5-6 (basically going .500) we’d finish the month with 13-9. We had several chances to do better but bleh.
Good month. Disappointing finish.
ThundaPC - April 29, 2009
We're fine.. 3-3 road trip. Just have to pick up our play at home.
Rudy4three - April 29, 2009
So, guess I don't mind missing the second half of the game.
msb - April 29, 2009
I wonder what the Brewers would want for JJ Hardy?
My current hierarchy of hate:
1) Yuni
2) Silva
3) Lowe
4) Washburn
5) All of our catchers
EnglishMariner - April 29, 2009
Conversely my hierarchy of love:
1) Felix
2) Pre-today Bedard
3) That’s about it all the hitters suck when I watch us.
EnglishMariner - April 29, 2009
Does all catchers mean Clement as well?
Slurvey - April 29, 2009
I would probably find a place for Corcoran
Or collectively put our Bullpen. Fuck Morrow for pussying out on starting.
Fin - April 29, 2009
I don't dislike Morrow, but I don't like him either.
If he was a starter, he’d be in the hierarchy of love for sure.
EnglishMariner - April 29, 2009
I still love Lowe...
Though it’s mainly because after I saw him pitch during his awesome call-up.
And the fact he opened the season with the sexiest outing ever with all those swinging strikes and his high velocity showing… But now he has shitty control/control every now and then but he has awesome stuff.
Slurvey - April 29, 2009
HOw did Batista not make that list?
Slurvey - April 29, 2009
He's actually been fine.
.Taylor - April 29, 2009
Aside from the fact that there are equally good pitchers in Tacoma
and his 09 salary is what kept us from signing Abreu… yeah he’s been just fine.
Bearskin Rugburn - April 29, 2009
I think
1) Silva
2) Yuni
3) Corcoran
4) Morrow
5) Washburn
No scientific reasons. Just the feelings I get when I see them in the game.
Washburn was at #2 until he admitted his 9K game was a fluke
pakipaki - April 29, 2009
Why do you hate Morrow?
gregrabble - April 29, 2009
Cause Morrow has AIDS
Bearskin Rugburn - April 29, 2009
I can't take my eyes off of the chart.
MFAN - April 29, 2009
Who is that a picture of?
AlexR - April 29, 2009
White Sox announcer.
Ken “Hawk” Harrelson.
MFAN - April 29, 2009
Is his real nickname Hawk?
d0nkey - April 29, 2009
Yep
I’d never seen a picture of him before, now it all makes sense.
OlSalty - April 29, 2009
Yup.
MFAN - April 29, 2009
The Sox have the most annoying announcers ever
They’re so cliche, its almost painful….
Mariners116 - April 29, 2009
Had. Wouldn't expect you to notice by any means, but Steve Stone took the spot of Darrin Jackson and it's worlds better now. In any event, pretty sure all teams think other teams' broadcasters are annoying. Nothing to see here.
I want to puke every time your guys try to pronounce “Chicago,” for example.
’Tis what it is.
Nice series overall. I had a nightmare that Danks entered a game with a .95 ERA and choked on a big -….wait a minute….
Cheers everyone!
homesickalien - April 29, 2009
But Rick Rizzs grew up in the shadow of old Comiskey!
marc w - April 29, 2009
There is more than one way to pronounce Chicago?
Do you say it in Arabic or something?
thewyrm - April 29, 2009
I have never heard anyone pronounce it differently than our announcers do
OlSalty - April 29, 2009
I guess.
Watching our announcers pronounce “Chicago” is apparently more annoying than watching theirs call a baseball game.
ThundaPC - April 29, 2009
Only I don't watch them pronounce/call games. I typically use ears for that.
Regardless, that was just an example of the idea that most fans don’t enjoy other teams’ announcers for one reason or another. I enjoy Vin Scully, but that’s the only one I can recall.
Hell, when I lived in Chicago, I’d mute Hawk/DJ and listen to the radio when it was Farmer/Rooney. Many Chicago fans don’t enjoy Hawk either, by the way.
Re: Chicago pronunciation-
They say it like they are trying to emulate a Chicago accent. And failing. Sounds something like “SHEEEcahhgo!” (exclamatory every single time, regardless of context). Just a Chicagoan’s gripe. I don’t hate them for it. I just gag a little.
homesickalien - April 29, 2009
If it's any consolation
I’ve never even been to Chicago and listening to our guys (mostly Dave Sims) say ChCAWWWWWGOH gets really irritating really fast.
(I really want to go to Chicago, by the way, just haven’t had the chance yet)
pdb - April 29, 2009
I am obviously entirely biased, but I highly recommend everyone experiences Chicago. Been to most of the country's major cities and there is an inexplicable charm about Chicago that I have not found elsewhere.
I’ll spare you elaborate details, but between the food, architecture, cleanliness, museums, music, people, and the neighborhoods, I am yet to meet a person who did not love it there.
It is enormous and simultaneously intimate.
I hope you make it out there some day. Eat lots of pizza and dogs if you do!
I’m headed home in 2 weeks and my mouth is already watering.
homesickalien - April 30, 2009
Chicago's pretty fun
the downtown architecture is some of the best I’ve seen anywhere, and I like a lot of Chicagoans.
Plus, last time I was there I had the best cabride of my life, and I’ve taken cabs in a lot of places, from Manhattan to Moscow to Marrakech. I was suposed to fly through OHare but everything got fucked on account of thunderstorms so my four hour flight turned into four hours on the tarmac plus four hour flight plus another hour on the tarmac plus an hour and a half wait for a taxi, all with a one year old in my arms. The cabbie missed the turnoff from Lakeshore into Hyde Park where I was going to spend the night, but as soon he realized it he said, no problem, turned into the boulevard walk that flanks the highway to backtrack and drove for at least two, three miles through the grass, doing about 40-50 mph in the rain, people jumping out of the way. Went around a few of those ‘no vehicles allowed’ concrete posts… I didn’t think it was funny at the time on account of it being two in the morning and my kid being there and all, but in retrospect it was pretty fun.
Bearskin Rugburn - April 30, 2009
Excellent! Sounds about right...glad you and the wee one made it out alive. Chicago transportation is just awesome. I miss it just for the many unique experiences/characters I encountered on trains, buses, cabs...walking.
CTA Slogan: “We’ll threaten your life and the lives of pedestrians no less than 4 times every mile, but dammit, we’ll get you there in two pieces or so.”
homesickalien - April 30, 2009
I was impressed by how nonchalant the pedestians were
about having to avoid a cab on a park walk at two at night.
Bearskin Rugburn - April 30, 2009
Not surprising. Totally different approach to pedestrianism in Chicago. I was shocked to move here and learn that people used crosswalks/signals, and that cars/buses actually stopped for pedestrians. How novel! :)
homesickalien - April 30, 2009
Six lanes of traffic once stopped for me
so I could jaywalk across Aurora.
Bearskin Rugburn - April 30, 2009
I find that completely unacceptable. Never teaches people how to be responsible and pay attention. I have full-on yelled at cars here who have stopped for me. Fucks up my pedestrian precision.
homesickalien - April 30, 2009
I haven't yelled
but I have waved them on when they block traffic in an intersection in a polite attempt to get me to cross the street
msb - April 30, 2009
I only had to yell once or twice...once at a dumb bitch who stopped in the middle of 1st Ave at 5:45 AM so I could cross. She was the only car on the road and I had timed my crossing around her passing. Not. Polite. Lady!
Otherwise, I implement the wave too, accompanied by a little involuntary mumbling.
More often than not, people can actually read most derivatives of “fuck” passing from people’s lips.
:)
I agree with acblue’s response too. You are not doing me a favor by stopping traffic to highlight that I am jaywalking.
homesickalien - April 30, 2009
I think the other thing people forget (especially on multi-lane arterials)
is that the other drivers on the road very well may be paying significantly less attention than you are. If there’s not a lot of traffic and you see someone stopped at intersection and you’re an idiot (which at least a not-insignificant portion of drivers are) you might be inclined to try and pass on the left and hit the poor lady or gent in the crosswalk. It happens once or twice a year in Seattle.
Aaron Campeau - April 30, 2009
Well I am certainly pleased to hear that others in Seattle share this issue.
I think it is our duty to begin carrying firearms while walking. Thin the herd a bit. Save the lives of a couple jaywalkers per year.
homesickalien - May 1, 2009
I hate making people wait for me to cross.
If I’m jaywalking I don’t deserve to be allowed to fuck up traffic. If I’m crossing at a crosswalk I will gladly wait fifteen seconds until there is an opening, unless it’s rush hour and I’m going to be waiting five minutes or something.
Aaron Campeau - April 30, 2009
Exactly
Waiting for drivers doesn’t help me and actually makes my crossing more dangerous, and when you don’t wanna go people get pissed off and won’t move on.
JI - April 30, 2009
So you're one of the assholes who keeps doing that in front of me
OlSalty - April 30, 2009
Also...
I don’t comment here nearly often enough for you guys to know this, but I’m not trying to be rude to you at all.
There are a ton of winks and smileys and stuffz in there, but I forgot that my personality isn’t known here.
Just wanted to clarify in case I came off rude…
=)
homesickalien - April 29, 2009
Don't worry about it
Graham MacAree - April 29, 2009
This is true
I’ve messed around listening to other teams’ stations and can’t quite stomach it for varying reasons. But some teams are just godawful, sometimes for hilarious non-baseball reasons.
For example, the Yankees radio team consists of John Sterling and a woman, Susan something or other. And in every game I’ve listened to Sterling makes a point of shutting her up and telling her she’s wrong about something when she’s the only one saying something cogent. Drives me nuts.
You’d have a guy in a pitcher’s count with men on and facing opposite handed pitcher. So Susan says something like “well, X throws a good change, so we can expect a change up on the next pitch” which is, aside from stating the obvious, right on. But no, John dips into his vast baseball experience to explain to the uppity broad that in fact X’s best pitch is his fastball and anyway you want to throw breaking stuff to opposite handed batters.
Also, his end of game call is nauseating. “The yankees win. theee yankeees wiiiin” spoken like a deadpan comedian expressing very mild excitement.
Bearskin Rugburn - April 29, 2009
I have no respect for Susan Whatsername
because of how she reacted to Clemens’ arrival. Male or female, don’t care, that was just ridiculous.
pdb - April 29, 2009
I remember that, sickening.
Goose - April 29, 2009
Oh jeezus
thank you for that
Bearskin Rugburn - April 29, 2009
As if we weren't embarrassed enough that series.
Mariner John - April 29, 2009
Oh My God, we were shut out by Darell Rasner.
ThundaPC - April 30, 2009
I found that whole thing to be high comedy.
Sec 108 - April 30, 2009
I got into a fight with a drunken fan at that game.
I can’t get to that link, but in the stands people were literally bawling for joy at the announcement. Hugging eachother, tears streaming down their faces, like he was going to singlehandedly win their season for them.
When the Ys fan I went with and I started laughing at them, the guy started yelling at the two of us, and started yammering at his kid to tell us to stop laughing at his hero.
I leaned across the aisle and told his kid that Clemens was probably a roider like Giambi and to get a nice Ortiz jersey instead, and the dad jumped me. Now the dad has a crooked nose, and I hope the little bastard kid was crushed.
Now that I think of it, I’ve gotten in more fights at Yankee Stadium than any other sporting venue.
Faux - April 30, 2009
You're such a kitten.
royalcurve - April 30, 2009
Suzyn Waldman.
Who takes a lot of crap for “being too emotional”, when acting like a lot of homer announcers of the male gender.
The way the Yankees (and YES) handled the ‘return of Clemens’ was ridiculous.
msb - April 30, 2009
My guess is a male announcer would have taken less flack for similarly ridiculous comments.
JI - April 30, 2009
She got killed in the media for getting choked up while reporting after the final Yankee game in 2007
She says she teared up because she walked into the clubhouse, and saw several of the coaches crying, and the realization that it was likely Torre’s final game hit her— especially as they had both gone through cancer treatments about the same time a decade ago.
msb - April 30, 2009
Not by me he wouldn't have
I find that sort of thing unbelievably annoying.
pdb - April 30, 2009
I'm saying it wouldn't have become a popular soundbyte
JI - April 30, 2009
What a turd of a game.
chinn - April 29, 2009
I blame Corco for this loss
Mariner John - April 29, 2009
I should probably stay out of this thread
Corco - April 29, 2009
That'd be a good idea.
.Taylor - April 29, 2009
Damn you, Jeffrey
Kirsten Schlewitz - April 29, 2009
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