Lookout Landing

Enjoy a little artificial sunshine from Pravda HQ. They're either blissfully unaware of all the issues MLB.tv has been giving people so far, or they're doing their best to push those complaints to the side. Feeds have been choppy. Some streams have been unavailable. NexDef has been inconsistent. Many of yesterday's games aren't yet archived. I personally wasn't able to use many of the new DVR features. And so on and so forth. This is not the time to be celebrating new technology.

That said, when I've gotten MLB.tv to work as intended, for the most part it really has been terrific. The video quality is better, and the picture-in-picture option looks awesome. I like being able to view a box score or highlights without opening a new window. And the opportunity to pick a broadcast is going to come in handy for those previously dismal games in Cleveland, Oakland, and Texas. So the promise is through the roof. It's just that maybe they should wait a little while before blowing smoke up our asses since they always seem to have a lot of trouble around Opening Day.

Tim Lincecum may be one of the best pitchers in baseball, but he's also offensively unappealing to look at.

Unless that picture was taken in one of those classical astronaut training machines that spins you around really fast until you can lick the back of your eyeballs, then may God have mercy on the next guy to tell Tim Lincecum a joke.

Third base for the Giants is currently being manned by the fishing boat from Jaws. I wonder how much more baby fat Pablo Sandoval would have if he didn't burn so many calories by swinging at everything.

Chicago's slogan this year: There are traditions, and there are White Sox traditions. Which are still traditions. That's like saying "There are colors, and there is red."

Front page of Royals.Pravda: Meche Solid, But Victory Eludes Royals In Opener. For one thing, I'll never be able to make sense of the fact that both Gil Meche and Matt Thornton are good now. For another, the headline makes it sound like the Royals were desperately chasing after a furry little Victory in the park and the furry little Victory was doing everything in its power to stay away until it could get scooped up by someone who knows how to take care of it.

The Red Sox are currently winning behind the pitching of Josh Beckett and the offense of Dustin Pedroia and Jason Varitek. That entire dugout is like a joint Jagerbomb and douchebag convention. I just know they're going to ruin Jason Bay and Jed Lowrie for me before the end of the month. You could put Dan Wilson on that team and by August I'd think he rapes middle schoolers and the pet cats of middle schoolers.