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Lookout Landing

4/8: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Silva's one and a half swinging strikes make him 50% better than that suckass Cabrera.

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Those people were so Minnesota
Nice?
Nice, white, virginy
Actually, I remember reading something about how Minnesotians

have sex more often than most Americans. That, and they produce more art. Something about being stuck indoors for a good chunk of the year.

Packer fans are infuriatingly nice.
You're welcome!
Yeah sure you betcha!
STOP IT

STOP TELLING ME CHARLIE FRYE WILL IMPROVE WITH TIME!
STOP REMINDING ME THAT EVERYTEAM HAS IT STRUGGLES!
STOP TELLING ME HOW YOU BOUNCED BACK SO QUICKLY AND SO CAN WE!
EITHER DONT SAY ANYTHING OR START BEING OBNOXIOUS ENOUGH FOR ME TO SAY SHIT BACK AND NOT FEEL LIKE A ASSHOLE!

I am dubious that you have actual proof that people in Minnesota have sex less often than elsewhere in the country.

In fact, given their relative climate limiting outdoor activity, I would suspect that in fact they have sex more often.

Those people were so my impression of Minnesota
Gotta stay in shape somehow
Better than looking California and feeling Minnesota, I guess.

AAARGH Silly STUPID SD:FLKSJDF
Silva Sucks. I want Jamie Moyer back.

Moyer, Ryan Franklin and about 60 Million Dollars in the bank
Four Opening Days, four different positions for Mark Teahen
3rd,left,2nd,....DH?
We could not possibly be popping up more baseballs

We have had quite a few, n’est pas?

Subject line.
mmmmmmm....... popups
Silva + Joh = Bad
Superfluous variable
yeah...

joh is pretty bad.

I can hear the wave going on in the crowd.

Minnesota now sucks a little harder.

Supporting my above claim.
Didn't you see them doing it on opening day?
I heard it, but didn't see it. I was pretty drunk.
Twins broadcasters about to throw down in-booth
Blyleven vs. Blyleven?
I'm bored/sad and when I'm bored/sad I listen to power ballads anybody got any good ballads?
Silva's done!
Jakubauskas time!
Here comes Jaksbdhdohoerbgttetert

Close enough?

I think you're missing a Z and a sjflkbfkhabfhawl
His name is not difficult to spell.
jakobauskas?
It is for us mentally challenged folks
Perhaps you could try harder rather than relying on your ineptitude as a crutch.
I fear success
Time to get JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKED!
Wak calls out Jak
Put him in the rotation retroactively
Sit down! Way to go Jak
WOOOOOOOOOOO BENDY STUFF!
Well, huh.

Jakubauskus doesn’t look terrible.

Works fast too
Why should he be nervous? Not like the guy in front of him checked in a virtuoso perfomance
It is amazing what happens when you throw strikes.
Jak!

and he is the youngest looking 30 year old ive ever seen. he looks 12

Like the reverse Andy Sonasstine?
Yeah.

You know what I miss? A guy that sweats an uncomfortably high amount. We haven’t had one since Nageotte and that was always entertaining.

One just got done pitching.
Silva is about 4 orders of magnitude below Kaz and Nags on the sweat list.
Is Nags still alive?

He was my favorite player of 04.

I remember an ESPN article from the 2004 preseason

It highlighted Nageotte and Blackley, discussing how they’re the future of the Mariners’ rotation.

And in a way, that article was right.

Except when he was sweating, he was also pitching

That wasn’t nearly as much fun to watch.

Like it ever cost us anything.
It felt like it did
Well that was pretty decent
I'm excited to see this dude.

I missed every spring training game on purpose.

Ditto.
We have another thing in common
This one is less surprising given that we spend two months bitching about Spring Training every year.
Do people actually watch ST on TV?

I haven’t watched a non Vegas game since Felix’s debut in 05.

Why is that, saving the moment?
I just don't care to watch spring training games.

I try every year, but I’m bored by the fourth inning of the first game.

IbaCedenoez
Cedeno looked really smooth tracking that down
Outfield defense.
Works for me.
I think he's a flyball pitcher
That was quick
Great job against the meat of the order
Public school cafeteria-grade meat.
Next innings comes the Malk
Grade F meat doesn't buy it self.
Funny that you mention that...
Uter was never properly utilized anyway.
The 2006 Eduardo Perez of the Simpsons.
Uter never made me threaten to my parents that I am going to step on the freeway.
How are my bones so brittle? I always drink plenty of... malk?
Chief is gonna have to throw someone against the wall!
Holy crap!

Flyball to left and I didn’t cringe!

I cringed then remembered that our backup shortstop is a better left fielder than last years starting left fielder.

Imagine that.

And the Phillies are paying that left fielder $10M for 162 games of his defense!
I know.

I hope they suffer for their stupidity.

I don't think that should ever come as a surprise
3 up and 3 down

Nice job CJ!

This has to be one of them rookie hazing pranks

Looks like they got the photoshop guy from playboy to augment his cheeks.
Jakubauskus should steal Silva's rotation spot
You can call him Chris
I enjoy typing his name
Consistently 90-91, and his two curves broke a lot
I like it

a whole hell of a lot more than I liked the first five innings

He doesn't look like suck
AND HERE COME THE YANKEES!
I hate the yankees

But I also support anything that makes the Orioles sad. Hm.

Adam Jones will stop them
Jones' gonna shine
There they go.
Yuni goes hunting for 'Sotans
Yuni and Full Count together?
And a hit from that full count.

Odd.

He did that thing with his arms again when he was running
What got into Yuni today?
Good found its way through the darkness
Yuni taking pitches

This is hilarious

DOIN' THA LITTLE TINGS!
Yay for giving away free outs.
Bunting is occassionally acceptable
Was that really a good time though?
Against a lefty, yeah probably
Well I guess the more you know

the better you are.

I love watching Yuni run. It's just not normal
More sac bunting

Hooray

I'll actually take a sac bunt from Chavez
We see that Waka is a big fan of the bunt and hit-and-run.
As is Rick Rizz
...

after 2.5 games?

What he does with Endy Chavez is hardly indicative of what he does with Major League hitters
"Crain warming up, but more important is who's warming him up."

Gross

Gabe Gross?
Rex Grossman?
Grosser Cleveland?
Lefty on the mound, is Griffey being PH for?
Of course not

Don’t be silly

Guess not.
Crede can blow himself
I'm not sure if he's that agile
Very talented.
Maybe thats why he has back problems
Ok, enough with the Griffey homer.
No doubt about it
They'll talk about it until he hits another.

Unfortunately.

Robert needs to go on another caffeine strike.
He's a little drunk I bet I can get him do one right now.
I'm pissed that I lost out on such a good story.
Always time to try again.

Who knows, maybe Jr only hits HRs when you abstain from caffeine.

Do you want to be responsible for him never hitting another one?

I never liked Griffey and I still like Wlad!.
Which would you prefer?

Fellating him over the HR or fellating him over the ground ball to the right side of the infield?

Can't wait for more of those!
Nothing new there.
How's Yuni playing so well?

…are other people gonna start to like him?

That was nice and predictable
The sinking feeling

has already started about Griffey.

No Grifferoics
How often will they replay that Griffey K?

Zero times?

It never existed

according to them

I'm surprised the feed didn't freeze so we didn't see it.

FSN really wants people to think that he’s still good.

Watching a pitcher run the bases with a coat on is always hilarious.
I hate Jose Lopez
I like Chris Jakubauskas
Jakk attack!
There go the five guys who've never hit 10 home runs
Just got here

How is Cedeno looking in the outfield?

Pretty good, actually.
He caught a ball Ibanez wouldn't have.
That's what I like to hear
Better than Raul
He's out standing in his field.
Ok, so Jak's human
Beltre would've homered
Beltre would have stayed on his knees and hit that same pitch out.
Maybe it's because he's praying.
Cuddle double
Are they going to the bullpen here? WTF I know it's Morneau but....
No Doubt About It
As they would say in Minnesota, "Thyat wyas a gohhhpher ball"
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

What?

Kubel has a weird eye twitch.
Well, um..

nice.

DAYLIGHT PLAY MOTHERFUCKERS
WHO DOES THAT?!?
They does that!!!
The camera didn't even catch that.
Nose bend would be proud!
Cuddyer is a moron
Jakamatsu'd
Rec'd for awesomeness
SLAM THE DOOR YOU SEXY LONG NAME
Is tomorrows game really at 9:30?
9:30?!

That doesn’t sound too nice to me.

10:10am I think.
At 10:10 Raben spasm-ed
10:10

In the 8th.

Betancourt put that play on?

You mean he knows what baseball is?

Any word on Ichiro's blood test?
Drayer said the situation was improving.
From Baker:

“On to Ichiro, his blood test results are back and the team says he’s improving. The plan is to use him as a DH in an extended spring game tomorrow. He could get as many as 10 ABs in that game, which is common in these things as a rehabbing player can often lead off every inning or be used more than once in a frame. After that, he’ll be re-evaluated.”

This is encouraging.
Have Ichiro bat every out!

Ghost runners!

Blood results were all clear.
Shit, he's filled with water
Smells like King Awesome.
Luck hates Beltre
Luck doesn't hate him.

Badluck just likes him more.

He's going to sign with the Angels isn't he?
I'd kill him.
go yard with your muscle, russel
muscle, ruscle.
Kubel's face was priceless!
It looked like Beltre was going to start the year on a hot streak.
He just needs Red.
Work that count!
2nd time this game he's gone from 0-2 to 3-2.
I think I like this Branyon fellow.
NICE WALK!
Whoooooooo

Walk.

Branyon is like Sexson with out the guilt
I missed this.

Solid.

Great AB

Somebody who can work the count!

well worked walk, russ

come on loafie!

Well that was a fantastic AB by Branyan
A Walk!

Future HOF!

Why wait for the future?

Induct him now.

Wonderful at-bat
i hate you i hate you i hate you
Nice AB by Russ
Swing at that pitch for fuck's sake.
Somehow I don't think Lopez is going to turn this 0-2 count to a 3-2 count
That was dildos.
That makes me a tad sad
Yep, nope, not a strike
Well that was off the plate
Kenji for the win!
dont get my hopes up
Oh good it's Popups McGee
Ken-Joh will save us

right?

“you want to bet me he pops it up?”

dick.

This would be a good time to start not sucking Kenji.
It really would have been
Kenji doesn't agree
Another solid 0-4 day for Kenji
at least he's consistent
Johjima...

So glad we locked him up.

Kenji with a clutch out!
Is he capable of doing anything but grounding out
Popping up.
popping up?

does that count?

I'm thinking Nagasaki wasn't quite enough.
I read this comment
We have a winner
Yea, not looking good here.
Groundout!

So how soon will these umps be replaced with computers again?

I hate Kenji Johjima
That is NOT how you regress to the mean Kenji
We are the worst team in professional sports.
Clippers
Royals
Raiders
Nationals
No they have Strasburg
How long is it going to take for the Lions?
The Detroit Lions called...
Seahawks
I already made this baiting comment
The Seahawks won the Superbowl

…wait, shit.

Mike Dunleavy takes offense to this comment
Taking offense would be a good change for him
No matza for you, Johjima
clement where are you
Kenji=Replacement Level?

Or is he worse than that still? Oh well, we know it’s his fault that Silva had trouble tonight, regardless.

Kind of hard to tell after 3 games.
The reason the Twins had success against Carlos Silva is because he sucks
There's your expert analysis
Wooooooo Diabetic number 2 on the mound!
That was a pretty perfect first pitch
Mark Lowe

Please implode so as to make this loss less painful

Hey a Lowe sighting.
Boy Cedeno looks comfortable
HAHAHAHAHA NO WAY ITS A FAT POLL
Can someone text in "LATE"
Or maybe a diabetic poll.
I think the easiest thing for Morrow to give up are saves.
Cedeno has a camelesqe mouth.
and a nose from one of my people
Cedeno looks like a skinny Wlad.
I'm voting for Pizza
According to the Twins broadcast we have Mark Lowe and not Derek Lowe
Hope they used their fact checkers

Because I’m going to take their word for it

I would laugh pretty hard if they made some mention of Derek Lowe not actually signing with us.
It's sad that the broadcasters have already ran out of things

for fans to vote on.

Polls

A way for the broadcast to be annoying without rally fries

Lowe's slider is incredibly sexy
My vote is for Silva's fat after he dies
Cedeno

Already better in LF than Ibanez.

It would be cool to see Morrow again tonight
diiiiirrrrtttyyy
MARK LOWE!

K!

I'm beginning to think it was just the Arizona air
why isnt he closing???
Jack Zduriencik asks that question about every pitcher ever
Felix will be next.

Imagine his 100 mph fastball in the closer’s role.

I'm convinced on of us offended Tango years ago.
I'm convinced one of us offended Morrow in the last week.
I blame Graham.
I blame nobody but Morrow fragile pussy.
I wonder if he injects his insulin into it since its clearly the most direct path to his brain.
Diabetics don't inject insulin into their brains
Maybe if he did we wouldn't be in this situation.
I bet you he does.

Its like a straight pipe shoot to the brain.

You should teach little children about things for a living
A teacher told me this once.
Robert is welcome to speak at my school at any time of his choosing
Deal, screenshotted.
Because he hasn't done a single thing to earn it
Yeah, we needed Morrow to become a closer and Aumont to become a reliever

Because clearly Lowe can’t handle it

It's because Lowe is diabetic oh wait...
He couldn't prove himself during vital spring training
Holy Fuck Lowe can you stop with the sexy pitches!
It's the Mutton Chops
Buhhhhhhhhhhhh he gave up a home run to DENARD FUCKING SPAN?
Hey another closer we can trade
Freak mode
Dear Carlos Gomez,

Kindly go back to your shanty.

5 sliders, 5 swinging strikes

SEXY

I'll never forgive Hargrove for ruining Lowe.
Well now, Mark Lowe is amazing tonight.
MARKK FUCKING LOWE!
Jesus Lowe looked really filthy.
Mark Lowe just threw the best inning of his life
And just think, if it wasn't for Morrow, Lowe would've come in last night and shut the door.
Or blown it terribly
And that would have been a two-run homerun!
Jesus Christ, Mark.
Welcome to Sexytropolis, population Mark Lowe
Its the chops dammit!
Morrow better start warming up, it's on
Why isn't this guy closing!

MARKKY MARKK LOWE!

What the hell was that

And why didn’t we see it last night when the bases were loaded

>:(

7 swinging strikes. Amazing.
More than Silva will have for the month of April
Hopefully because he's cut.
God he threw 10 pitches!

That’s a 70%SwiStrike rate!

well we would have won yesterday if it weren't for Brandon

and his epipheny after JJ was traded. :((((

Clearly this is JJ's fault.
Cialis ad after Mark Lowe's half inning.

Coincidence or foresight?

Very poor product placement.
Gameday says Lowe's outpitch is his 4-seam fastball.

Gonna need to update that one folks.

rally fries?
you go to hell, you go to hell and you die!
Lets go MARINERS!
So if Lowe blows up and locks down the closer role, does shitbird go back and try being a starter?
Morrow is not becoming a starter ever again ever
Three weeks ago we said

Morrow is not becoming a reliever again ever

This isn't a very good argument
I know but I've been in class for 12 hours today and I'm tired
I know class always made me stupider too
I was really pinning some hope on him nailing down his curveball. Switching to the bullpen didn't really cross my mind.

Fuck

Come onnnnn M's
Cedeno-Yuni-Chavez

This has rally written all over it.

Oh I'm feeling it right now!
Nathan is pretty ok
suck nathan suck.
If you work a count I will hump the object of your choosing.
What would he get out of that
Yuni could choose himself
Perhaps he has a enemy,
Losing by one run falls right next to genocide and the mall on my list of things I hate
Two games in a row, too.
Perhaps if thing one happens you should combine things two and three.
Going to the mall on account of genocide is a great decision
Less traffic.
Well the Serbians are dead and I could really go for an Orange Julius
Orange Julius always tastes great for the first 33%, then okay for the next 33%, then terribly for the final 33%
That corresponds neatly to various parts of your body shutting down
Tons of free things if its a good genocide.
I'm going to buy a shirt to show everyone that I don't like what's going on in Darfur
Hopefully you can get it somewhere besides the mall because then you'd have to buy two shirts.
Please pull a Morrow, Nathan.
Someone needs to tell Nathan that relievers are unpredictable and that lights out closers can turn to suck any time.
Is Morrow watching?
Armchair Coaching

You should have pinch hit and put Balentien in!!

Cedeno overmatched against Joe Nathan?

Nathan is good

still…that trade was a freaking steal

What sucks is knowing that the Bedard trade was the modern version of the Nathan deal
Everybody move in!
Endy... Endy....
Time for Endy Magic. Feeling it?
Interesting swing
BUNT BUNT BUNT
Steal first!
Ahhh if this was Riggles Tuglet would be in right now.
Span needs to rob Endy of a homer right here
I'm increasingly convinced you don't like the Mariners anymore.
I just want to be entertained and I know these fuckers won't do it on their own
Torii Hunter wasn't entertaining.

>:(

In hindsight it was
It would have meant one less save for Rodriguez.
That would be hilarious if I wasn't a Mariner fan
WALK HIM PLEASE
Morrow warming up!?
Morrow wearing a twins uniform and a goatee?
Morrow sighting!
o dam

its the 9th with two outs and were losing
where have i been?

Not at typing school apparently.
What is Morrow doing?

He can’t blow a game that we already lost.

YAY.....

Walk right here.

NOT A FUCKING STRIKE!
Looked pretty good from here.

I’ll let Gameday change my mind, but it looked like a strike.

Strike?
It was real close on Gameday
Fuck balls
Borderline strike.
Endy did the Yuni thing with his arms too
walk?
This is an underrated comment
I'm so overrated that I'm underrated.
thunderfucked :(
At least we've kept it close
Shit on my nuts
Fuck Carlos Silva.
We'll never see .500 again.
DAMN IT THIS IS ICHIRO!'s FAULT!!!!
thats it

im blame ichiro

Capitalize and use real words.
and i get a warning

for not capitalizing
or using proper grammer?
whatever, i dont even care anymore

Those are the guidelines that everyone here adheres to.
my bad

i didnt even know that existed

Second warning.

This is your last.

I am terribly sorry

Kind Sir

BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNN
I would post a frowny face

But i don’t think that’s allowed

I know, right? Nazis around here.

My suggestion is that you keep typing like an 8-year-old while openly mocking the guys who run the site. You are sure to eventually win this battle.

Let me help you a little bit

I’ll explain this whole crazy Lookout Landing thing in a way you might understand it.

 What’s the first thing you do when you buy something new? You read the manual most of the time so you understand what’s going on and how the object functions. This site is no different. If you decide not to read the “manual” for this site, you WILL be chastised for it. I suggest you do your reading.

Instruction manuals are for pussies.

Just like asking for directions and capitalizing proper nouns.

I've personally never read one either

However funny it may be to watch this kid crash and burn, I’m only trying to put it in a way he MAY understand it. Bear with me here Teej

Ever since I went the wrong way on a one way street...

I will always fall under that category. Very unfair.

To be clear,

I think instructional manuals are for people who want to do things right, asking for directions is often helpful and capitalizing proper nouns is crucial for anyone over the age of 7 wishing to be taken seriously.

I didn't even know there was a manual

Could you change that so people later don’t make the same stupid mistake I just did

And I am sorry if it seemed like i was mocking him. I wasn’t meaning to.

And also, I’ve typed this same way on this site for the past year and I’ve never been called on it before.

Behold the long dick of the mods

Prepare to get fucked by it for violating rules

and try saying please

Subject line.
I am terribly sorry

Kind Sir

Fuck you my friend died because of the social elite.
Who are you kidding?

You never had any friends

Fucking Silva
Great

Another one run loss. This is a fantastic start to the season

I can't wait to see who we get for Beltre and Bedard
Barry Zito and Edgar Renteria.
Those aren't relievers
You posted this before I had the chance to
Maybe Z has a lego spaceship he is trying to build and his mom only gives him one lego after each reliever that he signs. We couldn't fault him for that.
Not yet they aren't
Finally, we can do what the Giants will not!
Carlos Silva has a flabby buttocks

Good night

Carlos Silva is secretly still a member of the Twins.
Punish Silva

Ban him from the buffet line for the next two hours, don’t let him eat his emotions.

At least we got Washburn tomorrow!

Oh dammit

I love this team a lot already..but fuck I feel it'll just always be the same. False hope.
The team can't overcome the fact the other teams get batting practice for 5 innings
Some positives from this one. The two relievers looked really good. Team battled back a couple
I can live with this one. Just all about Silva being terrible yet again. Lots of promising stuff otherwise in my opinion
washburninator tomorrow

 that should be fun….

Capitalize please.
Golly, tuesday is going to be fun.
I feel better about this one.
Fucking SilvaSHIT

MERDE.

Already looking forward to RRS!
Stupid .500 glass window
God I hope we're not starting Griffey in the OF while Washburn and RR-S is starting.
Griffey is supposed to get off tomorrow
Take away the losses and we aren't terrible
So the MLB.tv DVR features work in IE but not in FF
They work for me.
Works fine for me.
I haven't played around with it too much, but it has worked fine in my Firefox today.
You guys are fags
I hope we can win tomorrow, i dont want this team to get mentally defeated so quickley into the new yr
The word is spelled year.
and quickly
And Brandon Morrow
One game under .500 for the first time since 2008!
The Mariners are 0-0 in games they haven't trailed by more then 10 in.
Honestly, I was impressed by how they kept coming back, even though SIlva kept giving it back.
For some reason I'm

quite confident of a win tomorrow. No idea why, just a feeling.

I'm not.
Why not with our OF defense it'll make Washburn look like a Cy Young pitcher!
I guess you haven't been introduced to Jarrod Washburn yet
It's kinda fun seeing all the new guys around here

The optimism is refreshing!

Fuck it either way, I love morning games.

 Steak, eggs, monster pot of fresh coffee.

Until the loss ruins your entire day instead of just your entire night..

For me anyways

Steak and eggs! Can't go wrong from there, unless I burn the steak I guess.
The rest of the team was pretty good.

Silva aside. Oh well. Perhaps he will have hungry enough to fill him self up with the zeal of a champion for his next game.

Really, though, the rest of the team looked good. Props to Yuni for taking some balls!

I just hope we can lead by a good margin.

No more 1 run games.

With this offense?

Lucky we scored 5 the last two games

This one's new

It appears to be rainin' men.
Would so much better if it was Guttierez
Since he appears to be awesome I've decided his rampant homosexuality is an enormous point in his favor.
Agreed.
The fact that he was a teammates with a Japanese gay porn star is also a point in his favor.
They should have done a movie called Fusion Cuisine
Absolutely.
I need to find footage of his trex arms
weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Are the archives up?
I have a kid that I coach who runs like that

We called him the raptor because of it

Following the Mets play by play..

- JJ Putz relieves Sean Green
-Willy Taveres triples to Jeremy Reed

Rodriguez imitating Morrow.
And Alex Gonzalez bails him out by being Alex Gonzalez.
hey! that reminds me-- free Extra Innings ....
Ahhhhhhh ..... Vin Scully.
Something tells me we lost
And the failure was much less spectacular.

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