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Lookout Landing

5/13: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Wait when did the Giants make the NLW competitive?

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YES, K!

Okay now just get Blalock and Byrd please

We need a DP right now.

Get out of the inning.

Aardvark is clutch
Something other than a fastball please.
But... but, if it's working, why do anything different?
I have bad news
Your good news is usually bad, so I don't want your bad news.
So much for slow threads, huh?
I'm here now!
I'm still new but am I correct in guessing that your return signals bad news for the Mariner?
I would argue that Graham's thesis 15-10 recap was worse
Indeed, that pretty much doomed us.

I have various theories regarding the method and location of where I listen/watch games. It’s complicated … but I’m sure I could find a pattern.

I find that when I watch a game sitting directly between the mound and home plate Branyan tends to strike out less often and I get bruises on my back
We won a bunch of the games that time you missed to go watch the Stanley Cup finals.
You're the idiots stuck watching my team
I need something to keep me occupied till training camp.
Aardsma was advertised to me as throwing harder
The faces of pedophilia: Wisconsin

It puts the lotion in the basket!
I would totally let that guy watch my kids
He'd let them watch, too.
I just learned an important lesson: never get involved if you're not prepared to go all the way with it.
This is why you don't take the candy in the first place.
His hat is little
Perhaps it is a child's hat
Perhaps its my child's hat.

That’s why he was crying…

His head is just enormous
Is that Bruce Bochy?
I'm Chris Hanson with Dateline NBC.

Have a seat right there.

Sorry, wrong reply button, this should be above.
What do you have to say for yourself?
I meant to put this above.
Scared the fuck out of me
Gutierrez sure does get a good read on balls.
Too easy.
That's the joke!
Oh, I get it.
I guess those weren't WMDs after all
Huh

When’s Kelley coming back?

If only Chad Cordero was here
I love my fastballs at 87
So does the Texas lineup.
Good job Gutzie.

Man he is probably my favorite defensive player on the team.

Which is handy since he's the best defensive player on the team.
I prefer Johnson.

His defensive prowess is amazing.

Fuck when he does throw offspeed they're terrible
That pitch should've been belted
3-1 fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Right on, he got out of it.
Sigh of relief
That was a frightening half inning.
The Rangers should be ashamed of themselves
HEART ATTACK SANDWICH AARDSMA
I keep waiting for Jose to get distracted by a butterfly while he's waiting for a popup.
He's not Yuni.
Prove it.
They were on the same field at the same time yesterday.

Unless they’re clones…

Perhaps Jose is a photocopy and the toner was low.
Perhaps.

Can you photocopy human beings though? If so I want one of Branyan.

I would photocopy Felix and have him go to cheaper bars and be more approachable
Then he would be Freddie Garcia, not so hot now huh?
You asked

I was looking for that...

…I remember it being…faster, though.

Everything with those two is slower now.
Annnnd thanks Aardsma and goodnight.
We have less hits
What else is new?
Another heroic effort from Cariac Aardsma.
Score runs please

Can’t take much more of this

Since when does this site have popup adds?
I have never seen one
I'm guessing it's not this site.
Pop up ads only for people who live/have lived in Spokane.
The only pop-ups ads we have to my knowledge are the kind that ban you
Warnings.

I get them all the time for living my life.

Yes, I got the warning box once ... it was disturbing.

I think it was for being a LL poser and not actually knowing wtf i’m talking about … but at least I have a lot of fun here. And most of you make me laugh.

Matthew can be fun too.
Matthew hates new people.
There's one two many word.
Four. There are four words
No I'm the one that hates change.
Jesus Jones I am bad at everything tonight.
Just ignoramuses
So pretty much me on all counts. OK enough of this ... back to the game.
I get them for things that have nothing to do with this website.
He's my modding training wheels.
It must've come over from another site.

To my knowledge I have never done anything ban worthy.

You'd know if it were one of those
Is there someone warming up in the pen right now?
Wait we're still tied?
GUARDADO TIME!
Time for some small ball please.
I'd prefer home runs.
For whatever reason my brain thinks of Aardsma as invincible.
GRIFFEY!!!
False hope!
I'm setting the over/under on amount of hits for Ichiro! at 197.5
I love half hits.
Loafie bunt nooooooooo
This is just stupid.
I'd like to see Gutz here.
I just tuned into the game

How has our plate dicipline been tonight?

We saw 24 pitches in the second inning.
Guardado this is exactly the kind of situation I always wanted to see you in.

Facing the Mariners.

Belt one you Mexican.
Wrong country.
Mexico is a continent silly
Mexico is a temp agency.
Sweet bunt in front of a lefty
Holy shit Lopez didn't even pretend to run.
I did in fact have that ready to go to.
Are you there Wak? It's me Yuni
What the fuck? Why did he bunt that then just stand there?
Holy shit Lopez didn't even pretend to run.
Loafie was so surprised he got the bunt down he forgot to run.
His nickname has never been more accurate.
Well, that was a bunch of what....
What would davidcameron say of that bunt?

Besides the fact that Lopez is a fucking idiot and just stood there.

The WE decreased .22%.
I'm guessing... 3-2 count, then weak grounder to first base.
You were close, he struck out on a pitch right down the middle on a 2-2 count in an important situation
ARGH THAT WAS THE PITCH GRIF
God damn it
Worst Griffey ever
WHY ARE YOU SO BAD?
IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO END LIKE THIS :(
But he's ending it like this as a MARINER!!!!!!@
Who wants to contact the FBI with death threats on him?
Two Ks and two weak grounders to first.

GRIFFEY!

Beltre is due.
Seriously, he hasn't hit a homerun in FOREVER!!!
What the fuck is up with the no PH policy?

I’m not just talking about this, either. But WTF?

Who do you bring in? And for who?
The faces of pedophilia: Gettin' hyphy

Hey good looking.
I do believe I saw that face underneath the I-5 bridge on Ravenna Bvld this morning

I was purchasing some crack for Josh Hamilton.

I wonder how long Griffey actually gave a shit about Plane Stewart
I made a accidental clever!
Swung at a pitch out?
Seems like something Beltre would do.
Good golly Miss Molly we're in trouble
Fuck submarine pitchers
Yep we're losing this game
NO! Do not give up. It's an exciting game! Come on now!
That was great

I hate our fucking team

Beltre, don't be our stupidest out tonight.

too late.

That was not predictable at all.
Still fucking pressing. Goddammit Beltre
Even good Beltre is probably fucked in that situation
Nice job Beltre.
I will say that Aardsma throws more strikes than balls this inning
Why stop there?
Please, show me what you mean
I'm curious as well.
I'm just saying that their are more exciting things you could be betting on.
I bet you that Aardsma is not in fact invincible.
Get facefucked Beltre.
I'm turning on the iPhone Gameday Audio and going to the gym to prevent a heart attack.

Not an attack from being unhealthy … but from watching this game on the television. So long, farewell, goodbye LL. Until tomorrow.

6H 3HR 1BB 9K

Why is Greg Halman hitting for everyone?

3 more swinging strikes for Davis
Sims: "Lester vs. Jakubauskas...good pitching matchup"

Wha…..?

If you like offense
Relative to the world's population he's not that far off
I'm quite positive that's not what he meant
The faces of pedophilia: grounding out to short

Ever heard of the Butcher Boy play?

God damnit not again

Children, the other white meat!
Boston is up on the Angels
As they should be.
Actually, their lineup is much less daunting without Pedroia and Youkilis
But they scored 12 runs in one inning without them!

That has to happen so fast, like flopping a royal flush you know?

Bet the farm
Jason Bay is a monster
Seriously though I think Chris Davis may be in trouble
In trouble of getting hit with a hard pulled shot?
I wish we didn't walk their least dangerous hitters
Walks are bad.
Salty walk.
Gameday says that 4th ball was bullshit.
It was clearly low
Bullshit may be too strong of a term
I hope the first robots grow up to become umpires
Gameday says that last ball was boarderline
Ok, since we have this pedophilia meme going,

Ten year olds can't be pedophiles
Girls are rarely, if ever, pedophiles.
He's more of a pederast
Isn't "pederast" russian word for faggot.
In Communist Russia, boys touch you!
It's not really a meme if it's just my boredom
That doesn't look anything like Adam Jones

Thanks for the subject line
Because I really want to hide this picture.

I still wonder how that picture of Carl Everett was taken.

That's Hootie from the Blowfish
You mean rising country star Darius Rucker?
Uh holy crap I hate new country and please say you made that up?
Fact. Darius Rucker is a country sensation.

Fact. No one gives a shit.

It's like the mid to late '70's all over again.
Wait, Hootie wasn't around back then?
No, just the pop sound completely polluting the airwaves

I’m getting curmudgeonly about it when fucking Hootie and Jessica Simpson are recording country music. I should listen to Hootie first before judging

Ehh, it's alright, it's pretty generic.

But I know what you mean. My girlfriend listens to Taylor Swift Carrie Underwood, Brad Paisley and all that other country shit. It’s basically like pop music but with a few twangs here and there.

Brad Paisley gets some props now and then, I should check him out also

That Zune deal in the OT sounded awesome AND HOLY SHIT JOH JUST DREW A WALK

I wish I was
Two different eras.
Ah shit, first time I did that and I apologize.

Sincerely.

Come on Sean or Shawn White or Green or ... I give up.
obviously we want the white one
FUCK WE NEEDED THAT DOUBLE PLAY FUCK FUCK FUCK

Please get Kinsler….. please

GOD DAMN YOU FUCKING SUGAR CANE PICKERS THROW FUCKING FASTER
Sims may have seen this movie before but I bet he talked all the way through it
Because he's black

That’s what you implied

I bet you dollars to donuts he hates doing it and checks the audience for other black people first to see if he has to force it
A donut sounds good about now.
Dave seems a bit excited on the radio as well, kind of strange
This is a racist comment which I find offensive
Seems like a racist accusation to make.
Or perhaps I just find Sims to be a chatty cathy
Sexist now too?
Girls aren't the only ones that can talk.
In reference to him saying chatty Cathy.
I don't get it
LATS BRACES
Almost nifty.
I want Andrus on our team
Where the fuck did that pitch miss?
By not hitting the ump in the temple is how it missed.
That was quite close.
um...

strike?

NO GOD NO DON'T WALK HIM TO GET TO YOUNG
shit shit shit shit shit shit shti shit shti shti shti shit
Sweet lets just give them free bases too
Well this should be a 1-3 count
Nice pick Man With Giant Penis
I think I figured out what was wrong with his back!
I would kill to watch him jog
From the front
I bet he can't wear shorts for fear of having to register as a sex offender.
When it's sunny out children sit both behind and next to Branyan for shade
Everyone knows what time it in during pregame warmups because he's facing east and reading Playboy.
I assume he's more of the meaty type and so Playboy would accomplish little
Perfect 10?
At this point I wish I had a screen shot of Gigantic Asses
Nice pickoff throw.

Crap.

You got to be fucking kidding me
We're gonna lose aren't we?
More walks.

Kill me now.

Umpires hate us 2 of those balls weren't balls

I hate Michael Young

Micheal Young is the most overrated player in the AL West
We are in the AL west and Adrian Beltre is on our team so I fail to see how that is true
Walked 7 batters.

While we drew 1.

Well, it could be more...
Micheal Young is the most overrated player in the AL West
Damnit it didn't work
You fucker.
Wish our pitchers didn't walk so many fucking hitters
Dave actually barked at the batter, he's pissed
Pitcher/joh I mean
Get throatfucked, Young.
ELEPHANT FUCK
WHERE IS JEFF CLEMENT!
What is going on?
WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
DO YOU WANT TO LOSE YOUR JOB TO ROB FUCKING JOHNSON?
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
And that's why we get to watch a year of Rob Johnson
I'd rather eat a bucket of angry bees
If you were really lucky their stingers would all be oriented such that they pass through your system without complications

Except then you still have to taste bees

If I were really lucky I'd have a bee allergy and wouldn't have to see an inning of RJ
They probably taste like honey so that might be okay.
That's like saying bark tastes like apples
Have you ever eaten bark?
I've fallen into trees
Must be the damaged motor skills
Or the inability to stop on skis or rollerblades
Must be the lack of brain stem
Nice catch Kenji.

Do we want to lose or what?

RJ Woulda had it
I doubt that for some reason.
Have morrow come in for the 4 out save
We don't have a lead

HOLY FUCK WE GOT OUT OF IT

I am assuming we score, how is that for optimism!
That would be a win. Not a save.
Than it would be a 4 out win
Cause we need more walks
He hasn't taken his insulin yet.
I don't have video right now. Should I be angry?
No, the dust has settled
Nah we got out of it
I still think you should be angry.
Thank goodness.
Holy crap, he got out of it...again.
How the fuck is this game still tied
What the FUCK, ladies?

These guys are going to ass up Washburn’s possible win?!

Thank fucking GOD for Ichiro….

Washburn isn't in line for a win.
Did I miss something?
The fact that we're tied apparently
No, that much I got....
He's a hard luck pitcher and just has one more reason to pout and cry if/when he falls apart?

Not everybody gets to be Abbott.

I haven't heard any complaining out of him so far...

Well, not this year, anyway…

I'm really liking that part about this year, but. BUT there's always a but, it's early and we've been winning.

I think Abbot averaged ~7 runs an inning in ’01. He sucked.

How are we not losing?
Well that was nice, not pretty, but nice.
JESUS CHRIST MY HANDS ARE SHAKING AND DAVE DIDN'T EVEN DO THE HOME RUN CALL
I HATE YOU GUYS FOR KILLING MY BLOOD PRESSURE
Well, we made it to the 9th.

So no more meltdown big innings.

Runs, we need them, now.
I love it when the camera guy picks out a hot chick in the stands somewhere.

Simply because they are hot. They typically aren’t cheering or anything

Yeah it's rare that you can see hot women on a screen these days.
Used to see them all the time watching WGN.
It's damn near impossible I tells ya
Alls I know is these fuckin cows need to shape up or ship out amirite
THEY WERE PUT HERE TO BE HOT FOR ME
And also intelligent, subservient and funny.
But not funnier than us
And also they should be able to cook but if they fucking touch my barbecue
Intelligent?

WTF

Well not retarded is the implication since we're talking about women, duh
Yeah society frowns upon smacking around retards
The Nazis didn't
Someone just fucking maul one of these meatballs.
I didn't expect to see this at bat happen
O'Day is due for regression
Can't wait for that slider to come running into Branyan's wheelhouse.
Well so much for that
There it was, and there it went
Well that was a bullshit strike zone
BE A HERO NEWLY ANNOINTED STARTING LEFT FIELDER
That ball went like 360 feet
Interesting simile.
OK Joh, hust pull one out of here
He hit that pretty well considering how bad of a pitch it was
I have an idea:

Don’t fucking swing he will walk you

Do Asians have telepathy?
You are pretty wise Sir Graham.
Kenji listened
If we don't score here we are totally boned
You're on the Mariners?
Well this is a stupid question
Well, you are referring to the Mariners collectively as if you are a part of the team.

I am sorry, I know it’s not just you, it happens all the time, it’s just a pet peeve of mine.

I'm not going to be a pretentious fuddy dutty about avoiding saying "we"
That is literally the gayest/dumbest/lamest pet peeve of all time
Gay and dumb are the same thing
Homophobe.
You've got me pegged down alright
Because I am not being sarcastic at all.
I totally wasn't
Come on guys, we need hits.
*baserunners
So right. Any way we can get on works.
Get a hit you Jap.
Joh took.

Well now.

COME ON GUTZ DON'T BREAK MY HEART
Gutz can be heo here
OH BS UMP!
Those both looked like strikes to me
Gameday agrees
Stop your logic is destroying my rage.
I think the ump is a homophobe
why?
We call Gutierrez a homo around here.
Just a hunch
I am so easily impressed
Technically we should be about to lose this game 4-2
Gutz's at-bats sure are long and hard.
Rec'd for penis joke.
Please hit a gapper
This could be amazing?
Well I was right

Unfortunately

That was as close as your manly manly stubble Frank
Oh my God.
Elvis Andrus is a man.
He is twice the man Yuni is
That's just not fair.
FUCK YOU ANDRUS
Andrus is really fucking good.
7$@#($7239472
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I strongly dislike Elvis Andrus
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I HATE ELVIS ANDRUS SO GOD DAMMNED MUCH
I hate Andrus so much

Why couldn’t they have kept Young there?

Godammit I wish I could have seen that Dave just went apeshit
You don't. You really don't.
I hate the Texas Rangers.

Balls.

Oh my.

Andrus is quite good.

Fuck you Ranger guy!!!!
BUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sims: That is why they put Young at 3rd!

Yuni makes that play.
I love that Mike Young was angry about having to make room for that little dude
Mike Young likes it up the butt
No kidding.

Wonder how many beers he’s bought for him?

Andrus is 20
Which means he needs someone to buy him beer
All the more reason, as he can't buy his own.
Remember when Yuni could do that?
No...

But I’ve had a lot to drink since a time when I could imagine that happening

TRADE YUNI FOR ANDRUS NOW
I think I'm going to go down to the Audi dealership and trade them my Dodge
So do we bring Morrow in?
Apparently we keep White in

Gulp.

That must have been my fault somehow.
This is the part where LSBers come over to see what we think about that play so I'll go on record as saying that Elvis Andrus eats pillows for breakfast lunch and dinner
Of his own volition or would you say it is forced upon him?
Depends how well he does on the pool
I always thought he stabbed Mike Young's poo
Cocaine?
No Graham you are mistaken.

That would be Josh Hamilton. Please try to keep your Rangers sorted out.

Love,
Eyebrows

!!!!

Padilla's girlfriend?
The name of the new album

Elvis lives

Gootch didn't seem to be running too hard on that one

I think he assumed that he had the base and was trotting a bit

I thought the same thing.
Well that was nice...
K!

Love the sequence too.

That's not quite the result I was expecting from that AB.
SIT. THE. FUCK. DOWN!
YES FUCK YOU HAMILTON
Where did those come from?
Stop snorting the cracKK!

ha ha ha

FAG

Sean White is neat but he looks like Aaron Sele.
This was the easiest inning ever
You were saying?
You spoke way too early.
How do you always screw things up?
He does this shit on purpose to jinx us, you bitch.
Maybe I am from the future and I am trying to help scrappy a game that we needed to lose at the end of the year
Except that why would you tank for Matt Harvey
Stupid
Maybe someone started juicing in their Sophomore year.
Go big or go home.
Hey look! It's Yuni
Just cut them both.
Dammit Loafie.
FUCK YOU YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK

ERAGOhegaqejrgtve’;sbghe 5 gwl;n8 j9wey hrtb ehjlrthyb oi6b0 y

Good glove Lopez, holy crap.
Well that should end it
FUCK YOU LOPEZ

That better not fucking cost us the game

Way to fuck it up, you fucking slug!
Oh Jesus Tapdancing Christ they share a brain and it's the brain of a catfish.
SPLENDID!

LOAFERS YOU’VE DONE IT AGAIN.

At least the game was close.
FUCK YOU LOAFIE
I WANT TO MURDER HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS
Andrus makes an wonderful play.

Lopez does that…

Wak wants to murder Yuni and Loafie
He's in the majority
I remember thinking that anyone that got called up at 19 was destined for greatness.
Aumont?
Lopez
Really
The question mark threw me.
Also I just drank a Ten Fidy and I haven't eaten since 9:00 AM so everything is moving slowly.
Wak is going to be quite annoyed if we lose in this inning.
SEAN FUCKING WHITE BITCHES
Um, What the hell pitch was that?
White!?!?!?!
So, White is pretty cool.
WOOOOOO FREE BASEBALL
Gosh darn it looks like I jinxed us again
CJ WILSON COMING IN CJ WILSON COMING IN

YES!!!

YOU'RE LUCKY LOPEZ DAMN LUCKY
Sean White isn't throwing 94 anymore
Man, these commercials are horrible.
They suck on so many different levels.
Wrap this up I got a book report to do.
HAHAHAHHA RONNY
Woo-hoo!
CEDENO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CJ, you're so crazy
RONNY CEDENO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beautiful.

RONNY YOU ARE A BADASS
Push bunting is the pinnacle of badassery
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Now THAT was a well-timed bunt.
Holy shiiiiiit!
That was rather epic.
NEVER DIVE FOR FIRST YOU DUMBASS
Goddammit this needs to be over before ANTM is on I made a promise.
No one keeps promises these days.

You’re just fitting in.

Back to back bunts?!?!?!
Woo, the return of Wak Ball!
Apply when one run is needed
Please stop bunting
YESYESYESYESYES
BWHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY SHIT HE COULD HAVE HAD THIRD
DIdn't see the throw miss.
ahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhaaa
HOLY SHIT WE'RE FUCKING LUCKY
WAK BALL!
BUHAHAHAHAAHAHA!
Texas is sympathetic to the PETRC
CEDENO AT 2ND!
Holy crap, where was that going?
bahahahaha not even close
Yeah overthrowing the first baseman!!!
Wow Wilson you suck.
That was one of the worst pickoff throws I've ever seen
Pitchers love giving us the victories via shitty throws to 1st.

That’s the third time that has happened in extras right?

Yep
Although we haven't gotten a victory yet so hold off on that
I haven't seen a lefthander throw that wildly since Rick Ankiel!
When did Ichiro! get so bad at bunting?
Ichiro should not bunt
Wow fuck Mike Napoli
This is a bit of deja vu no?
BUNT BUNT BUNT BUNT YOU LAME ASS PUSSIES
So what gets Wak's attention

Cedeno’s good push bunt, or his poor baserunning awareness?

Lets pray it's the bunt
Or the positive results of both
Or maybe he'll go out and say Yuni would've fucked up both.
Move him over you Jap cunt.
What the fuck
Agreed
Twat is a much better word. Maybe the combo, twunt. I don't know but cunt sure is unpopular
We should ass rape him in the gas shower
I would like to look all badass by expressing my outrage
Is C.J's facial hair legal?
Come to think of it I'm surprised he is not in jail
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE
WE.BETTER.FUCKING.SCORE

Don’t fuck us over Lopez you son of a bitch

Now Lopez can pop out weakly
Productive outs yeaaaaaaahooooooooo
I have every confidence that we will score this run
Don't fuck this up Loafie
Okay, Lopez.

NOW is the time for you to flyout. Let’s get a sacrifice fly.

Why is nobody upset that we might possibly win this game because of a blown call in our favor.
Opening day act 2.
Because: Fuck Texas
I think LSB would be upset.
I feel guilty
Why would we be?
CJ Wilson is one crazy motherfucker
HAve you seen that gameday stache?
Looks like WIlson is gonna give it to us!
CJ Wilson, you are my hero!
Dear CJ Wilson,

Please continue sucking.

Sincerely,

M’s fans worldwide

3-0!

Draw the walk, C’mon.

PH for Griffey if Lopez walks?
With who? Sweeney? Yuni?
This inning will not result in runs.
Uh-oh

Double-Play setup.

BUNT BUNT BUNT
A 450 foot bunt is called for in this situation.
No a normal bunt would've been nice

So what just happened wouldn’t happen

Please Griffey
When I left Sean White trying to walk the world, I didn;t expect the game to be still tied in the 10th ....
Or for it to be tied still in the 10th.

Crap.

SQUUEZE!!!
That would be epic
Griffey Blast FTW

Please?

Warning, Jizz in your pants is a possibility in these next few pitches, get some kleenex
Griffey is SO due.
Salty is saving CJ Wilson's ass right now
Yeah that was great
I fucking hate the Mariners
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME
I still hate griffey
Double Play.

WTF

why does God hate me!!!
I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less.
Fucking pathetic.
Our DH sucks.
Griffey is so clutch!
LIVING LEGEND MY FUCKING ASS!
WHY EVEN COME BACK IF YOU'RE GOING TO SUCK, YOU PRICK?
I HATE YOU! YOU'RE A FUCKING JOKE!
SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK BUNT YOU FUCKERS NOBODY HITS XBH BUT BRANYAN FUCKING HACKERS
And yet we won't bench Griffey because the media would be all over Wak's ass.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING
I'M SO GLAD WE CAN'T PINCH HIT FOR HIM
THE ONE TIME WE DON'T BUNT
Remember that one time we let Ibanez go against Fuentes when we had Eduardo Perez on the bench?
Asdrubal?
I think Perez would have been more useful at that point because Drubes was a mediocre AAA hitter
We were never going to get Oliver Perez in exchange for Cabrera
Come to th ink of it yes
Sims after that DP:

“heh heh heh. Good call.”

I’m guessing Blowers predicted the obvious double play then?

haha yeah heard that too
Yeah. I love when the mics stay on
I didn't hear that.
MLB.tv users

What was Dave laughing about going to commercial and saying "good call – You think someone in the booth was like I guarantee a DP? Too funny

DFA Griffey

We can blame it on a chronic injury. Seriously…

WAK HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE PROPER TIMES FOR SMALL BALL ARE
Do you really want Loafie and Griffey attempting the suicide squeeze?
I am terrified of this game now
Hey, maybe check your facebook
I want Griffey dead
I want him to be shot in his ape head
I want him to be shot in his ape head
I want to be the person that goes up to trey and tell him to sit down we need to talk
i hate griffey more than anybody else on this team
Now we walk in the winning run
penis septum is a more valuable player than griffey
Garret Olson in

Game Surrendered.

Throw strikes you cunt
I don't think Morrow was even warming up.
I HOPE GRIFFEY DIES IN A SEATTLE MARINERS UNIFORM
I know it's live journaly, but...

When Griffey GIDP, there was a temper tantrum that looked something like this

You know what helps guys

Being drunk

RONNY CEDENO
Cedeno!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CEDENO!!!!!!

Man!

RONNY CEDENO FOR STARTING SHORTSTOP FOREVER
From your keyboard to Wak's lineup card
The longer we play the better he looks
Funny how that works.

Give someone a shot and they might just prove to be better than the incumbent.

There's absolutely no chance Yuni would have made that play
cue close up on yuni
Sobbing with his head in his hands.
Then cue Mike Sweeney coming over to console him.
HOLF FUCK!

INFIELD DEFENSE WHAT!?!?!?!

I would like to see Yuni try to do that.
Cedeno > Yuni
Now it's only a solo blast instead of a 2-run bomb.
Olson couldn't make Davis miss one pitch
Salty is willing to help
Cedeno is the MAN!
Griffey! doesnt get that ball because he is a fucking ass taunt
I love the camera focusing on Yuni after that play
Holy goddamn fuck that was an amazing play by Cedeno
Yuni's expression = Priceless.
Sad Yuni :( )
HAHAHAHAHA
If you meant that to look like a cartoon monkey
Man vs Monkey

Man every time.

Sad Yuni

<(0..0)>
    ( , )

( . )( . )

(__)__)||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||D

Branyan nursins a semi

Hahahaha the look on Yuni's face.
Swinging strike!?!?!
So the Rangers miss changeups a lot
Winning run aboard..
Boy oh Boy Griffey sure hasn't been shot lately
Oh fuck it's Cruz
Cruz has scary eyebrows
and... strike 3
C'mon, Popeye! Fuck'm up!
Wooooooooooo!
K

Kinsler’s up now :)

Turn that smile upside down
Sit down Cruz!
That was fortuitous
ooh la la
Umps been consistent on that inside ball
Even if we get out of this inning, next inning won't be fun
Hey, we're currently not losing!
I want to like Garret Olson, but he's making it hard by not having cool pitches
Has Griffey homered today?
I wish Andrus hadn't hit that RBI triple
Whew

LETS SCORE SOME RUNS!

Thank you Mr. Olson.
Woooooo we didn't give up any runs!
Ahahahaha and we still haven't lost
Don't even touch that fucking ball, Lopez.
Olson! I want to have your children!
Why its to better fuck you with says little red griffey wolf
Kinsler has a touch of Yuniitus.
Stop hacking Beltre is CJ fucking Wilson
Michael Young!
Beltre speed!
HAHA MICHAEL YOUNG YOU STUPID BITCH
THAT'S why they moved Michael Young to third.
HAHAHAHAAHAHA@!#@!#!6r
Wow, had plenty of time to throw that
YES YES HAHAHAHA

MICHAEL YOUNG YOU ARE A GIFT

HAHAHAHAHA YOU FUCKING SUCK YOUNG
So the Rangers are trying to give us this game.
We'll take it.
And Griffey is trying to give it back.
BELTRE!
WHAT THE FUCK NO
We just bunted the runner over with Russell Branyan.
Why the fuck is our only good hitter bunting?
Why? Who are they setting up?
Bunt?

Meh… Too much wak ball.

look at the muscley bunt
If only he'd hit that a little harder
More Wak Ball.

NOW SCORE A FREAKING RUN!

Aw.
I won't say I've seen everything because that would be spurious but I did not think I would ever see that and now I have
Missed it, looking at bouncy tits above
So instead our best hitter bunts
What the fuck
I can only post the towel so many times
I'm so high right now
CONGRATULATIONS WAK YOU JUST PISSED AWAY AN OUT WITH OUR BEST HITTER
Bunting with a guy who hit a homer earlier?

And who has been our best hitter?

I'm just surprised he got the bunt down
This team is crazy sauce
WLAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WLADDY!!!!

RESULTS BASED ANALYSIS BUNT BUNT BUNT BUNT
WLAD!!!!!!!!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WAK IS A GENIUS!
BALENTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN
WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD

WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLADWLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLADWLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLADWLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLADWLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLADWLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLADWLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLADWLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLADWLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD WLAD

Wak is so lucky that paid off

WLAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WLAAAAAAAAAAAD!
WLAD!

5-4 MARINERS!

WLADWLADWLADWLADWOOO
HE WENT THE OTHER WAY

Progress!!
GUTIERREZ WILL BE PLEASED
Every time I see that gif I imagine that the wheels are balls of dung.
That would be appropriate
I was thinking malt balls.

No longer, however…

Looking at this thing is uncomfortable
WLAD!!!!!!!!!!!
WLADTASTIC!!!!!
BALENTEIN IS SO AWESOME*

*May be result based!

Lets get some insurance

PLEASE

Off with the crack of the bat
Did you say crack?!?

FUCK YOU CRACK HEAD
Wak ball bitches!
GODDAMN CRACK SMOKER!
Oh fuck you Hamilton.
FUCK YOU YOU COCAINE BITCH!!
He must have thought the ball was made of cocaine!
Because it is white!
Hamilton had his crack today

If you know what I mean

Do you mean cocaine in rock form that is smokable?
I hope Hamiltion ODs and dies
FUCKING JOHJIMA I'M SURE GLAD ROB JOHNSON IS GOING TO BE GETTING MORE PLAYING TIME
Because he hit the shit out of a ball?
Poor sarcasm on my part
Wow those Rangers fans are doing a lot of cheering for a play that won't matter.
Keep saying that after Morrow walks in a run.
If Morrow lets me down again I'll die.

He’s my favorite Mariner.

DUDE DONT FUCKING JINX US
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr
Yeah you were right about that one.
Oh great.
Morrow up!
For the Win!
This no longer comforts me.
Yay!
That ball was smoked.

Much like the weed Hamilton used on his way to discovering cocaine.

Morrow time!
Adventure time.
Soooo... Morrow has to face Young, Hamilton, and Jones

Gulp

Fuck that!

Morrow’s gonna smoke those fools! That’s just how he rolls!

Well, someones got to face them.
MORROW UP=NEED MORE BEER
I have a GIANT man-crush on Balentien lately

And if that’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right….

But this inning is going to kill my heart….

Man crush?

But you are a woman right? Wouldn’t it just be a crush?

It's platonic

And therefore = man-crush.

not all man-crushs are platonic
It's not Gutierrez....
A platonic crush?

I don’t follow

Morrow heart attack fun time express time
So how're we going to blow this game?
Cedeno error.
I'm uncomfortable!

UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC
He passed out after this picture right?
Wait, why was Ronny Cedeno given a stolen base by the scorer?
I think because he went at the first movement.
I YEARN FOR SWEET VICTORY

DO NOT FAIL SWEET PRINCE

That wasn't a ball.
THROW A SLIDER YOU JACKASS
I remember Ramon Vazquez!
At least he's not on their team anymore
Walk off blast by Hamilton coming up...
NO NO NO
Brandon's tRA: 4.83
And growing!
Yippie for leadoff people reaching base.
So it begins....
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

HE DOESNT HAVE TO THROW HIS FASTBALL EVERY PITCH BLOWERS

Its okay everyone.
Maybe you should throw something that is not a fastball.
Morrow, distract him with some sugar, he will think it is cocaine!
A diving Ichiro! gets that ball no?
Maybe.

He may also miss and and the runner may end up on third.

Check out Angie Mentick's blog. Diving often doesn't make sense.
BOOM GOES THE MOON SHOT
Fuck fuck fuck.
Kenji with the bendy stuff
Fantastic, tying run at 2nd with nobody out

Good throw might have had him

Paging RoJo to the red courtesy phone.
Holy crap the WPA of that steal was huge
Usually only Yuni can steal something that valuable
This game isn't going to be won by us
ZEBRA CUM
Even worse then regular cum
Because it has some black in it? Racist.
I don't think zebra semen is striped
But hey who knows
Looks like we need to find a dude who will jerk off a zebra
It's like Aquafresh
Yeah, but you don't really know, do you?
I will admit that my interest is peaked
Word to the wise

GISing this is a poor idea

Well that throw sucked.
what a swing
Well that was a shitty throw
Well that throw was less thn adequate
Does he have an offspeed pitch?
Oh come on.
Well poop
I.AM.GOING.TO.HAVE.A.HEART.ATTACK.
Well fuck this umpire
Got hosed on that one.

Finally threw some bendy stuff too.

That looked like a strike.
That was a beautiful bendy thing
THAT WAS A STRIKE YOU SMELLY LOBSTER
Hey..a strikeout not called
Great, now he will never throw another offspeed pitch again
Or he'll throw one on the next pitch
Way to not pay attention to the game, ump
MY GOD WHY IS EVERY INNING A GOD DAMNED SAFARI
This is going to end in tears for us.
Yep.
Setting up the double play!
I'm with you. That was the plan all along.
Jesus christ get this out
3-2.....come on Brandon....
Well, it could be worse.
I've seen worse walks
Hey look a walk.
I don't know whether to be happy about that or not
WTF, a walk, not what we're looking for.
Andruw Jones is chunky.
Shawn Kelley needs his oblique to heal the fuck up
So not cool.
I can't watch this
For some reason that walked pushed their win expectancy up over 50%
walk*
Chance for double play?
I hate Hamilton.

That was a great AB.

Except the part where he took an obvious strike 3.
STRAS......... oh wait.
2 more outs!
1
Just kidding!
Well that was inches from being bad.
Blalock and Byrd
The killer B's
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HIT INTO A DOUBLE PLAY
Turn 2 turn 2 turn 2 turn 2 turn 2 turn 2 jesus
0-5?

Well he’s not due…

AHAHAHAHA

SHOOT ME

FUCK THE WORLD
I'm going to be so glad to get the fuck out of Texas

But that’s pretty much what I think every time I’m there, so this is no exception…

FUCK YOU MORROW YOU ARE A PIECE OF WORTHLESS SHIT
Wasn't expecting that
oh fuck you brandon morrow.
You have seriously got to be FUCKING KIDDING
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I HATE THIS TEAM!!!

WTF TIMES A MILLION

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA
MORROW BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Gonna go commit suicide
brb?
Not if he does it right!
What
Does Strasburg have any brothers aged 17-22?
Walkoff?
Is this what happened?
Well at least I know we lost somehow
There are times I really hate this team.
Screw you Morrow.
This has become hilarious again

I missed being bad so much

It will be fun for a month
We don't even have the Strasburg race to look forward to
But it's fun without un-fun

Unlike watching a competitive team

I'm not in the least mad..just amused. I can deal with this.
We're not going to the playoffs, are we?
No and that makes life relaxing again
Good to get that out of the way early.
Thank god.

The stress of a playoff race probably isn’t healthy.

I really really doubt it.

It’s possible, just barely.

Nope.

Season is over.

fucking wheelhouse
That's almost in the same location where Vazquez went yard, right?
Start trading people please!
Sometimes I really question my sanity in being a Mariners fan
Still wanna be in the closer role? Go start you fucking pansy you can't handle the heat.
I need some coke
God really hates Mariners fans
I'm a little disappointed that didn't leave the yard.
Ramon Vazquez did it better
Instarec to whoever posts the Seattle gif.
Pleasure doing business

Oakland and the Angels are both ahead!
I don't even care anymore I'm about ready to give up any expectations for this season
If I felt we had this won, this would've been heart-breaking.
Fuck you Morrow.

Go back to starting you selfish asshole.

This. Seriously. I hope he starts to hate closing so he goes back to starting.
That seems likely at this rate

Considering he’s doing a terrible job

Speaking of mulligans

How about one for that whole fucking draft.

Fuck Morrow I hope he feels Shields breathing down his neck
His starts would be short and miserable.

He’s only good for closing, if that, as evidenced tonight.

yankee game...
.

Oh so that's what happened to him

This is such a gorgeous, touching picture.

I love it so much.

Wow Brandon Morrow is a worthless human being
All the diabetics on our team suck...
True, but they aren't the only ones.

Yuni and Loafie also suck, as does Rob Johnson. And Beltre, if it weren’t for his defense.

Shakespeare would be a shitty playwright if it weren't for his ability to write plays.
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
Yes, this is Lookout Landing.
Go back to whence you came.
Breaking a rule and trolling.

Nice.

Oh man, I'm so angry at you!

Trolling complete. Now go try to eat a moving train.

That seems like it would be quite the herculean task
Texas guys are pretty tough.
And have much in common with the Augean stables
How did this guy last the whole game?
So we're 16-18. Not bad. Not....bad.....right......
Feels like the whole season is coming down to this series

And easy brother, everybody gets off to a rough start yeah?

We've gone 1-8 since last Sunday.
Yup, the guys we've got fix it or we're fucked.

I meant the other thing, no sense standing in line to piss on a guys head.

Would this be a good time for a LSB invasion?
If you want to be banned from both LL and LSB, certainly
Point taken.
I'm thinking you should go for it. You only live once.
I wonder if Morrow will take his anger out on us again.
I rather he take it out on Griffey's family
Trade every single person on this team
Time to reload.

Trade Beltre, Bedard, Washburn, Ichiro, and hey, why not Clement while you are at it.

Can we just bulldoze Rangers Stadium?

Anyone?

Its not the stadium...

Hint: look in our bullpen

I know

But it’s the thought that counts.
Also, I just really want to drive a bulldozer.

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