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Lookout Landing

5/15: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Oh my goodness.

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That could mean anything
Lopez swinging at a ball at his shoulders. I'm begining to hate you again
I really fucking wish this game was on TV.
Whatever, M's still lose
If I were Jose Lopez's batting coach,

I’d just pump high fastballs at him until he could consistently tell strikes from balls.

Or put a collar on him that delivers a shock whenever he swings

a la Betancourt

JoeBlazer: you are to never take that Jersey off again.

Get used to it.

hehe, I'll do my best. I'm in Portland and can't wait to make it up to Safeco again.
Sean White, non-suck version coming in
I'm wondering what the ultimate moment of this game will be ...

if Ichi was the penultimate moment.

Obviously: Yuni's two walks.
I was thinking the Pedroia walk off on Aardsma
except you can't have a walk off in the top of the 9th

fail.

Haha...

Agreeing fail.

If that happens...

So help me.

If he's still around.
>:(

Let’s not buzzkill things just quite yet.

Lester looks like Morrow probably did.
NESN announcer just called Ostrich "Jakubauskie"
Poor guy should have stuck with Jak.
Maybe he was trying for Jakubostrich?
Mound Meeting:

Joh: Red Sox. We are facing the Red Sox. No pitches down the middle like that.

I love it when pitchers get ahead in the count...
Except when it's because it's our hitters are swinging at pitches in other ballparks.
I love it when OUR pitchers get ahead in the count *
I thought Lopez was giong to screw that up for a second.
Nice play Lopie.
Mark Lowe up.

Oh dear.

New reason to hate Mike Sweeny

He’s friends with Larry the cable guy and was the one who arranged to him to come to the park and take BP.

Too bad he's not friends with Ron White, that guy can tell a good story
Yeah, out of all those guys Ron White is the only one I can stand.
They call me....

Tater Salad.

I loved that bit so much, what he's doing with those other guys is beyond me
True, Ron White is way better than LtCG

“I don’t wanna be drunk in public, I wanna be drunk in a bar”.

They threw me into public.
Okay now I do actually hate him.

A lot.

Welcome to the dark side!
David Cross should write an open letter to Mike Sweeney.
Every indication is that Mike Sweeney is batshit crazy to begin with.
GO AWAY LARRY THE CABLE GUY YOU SUCK
Larry the Cable guy would be an upgrade over several of our players.
Several?
I mean, really, if can he hit a RHP he's better than half the regular lineup.
Rob Johnson, Carlos Silva, Miguel Batista.

I’ll lay off of Yuni cause of the 2 walks.

He can't take a pitch either.
I tend to think he'd fit in actually.

I think he would ground into more than his fair share of double plays.

Was that Bucky Jacobsen?
I totally forgot about that guy. What happened to him?
Got fat and retired.

Heck of a ride when he was here, though.

I think he played in Mexico a few years back.
Legally?

Oh wait, that only works the other way.

Maybe, who knows?
Article in the paper a few years ago, he was working for a family business.

Putting up letters on advertising signs, something like that. Said he was working out to get back into game shape. Sad story

I dunno, he was a "star" for a year at least.

More than most of us can say.

Wlad is a stud.
As is Branyan.
Isn't it nice how both Wlad and Clement are turning it around this year after being less than impressive last year?

Oh wait…

Well, 1 for 2 ain’t bad.

Love Muscle!!!

Rally time!!!

Was going to comment about how we were ahead

But then figured we’d be behind again, so… yeah, that’s about right

Yeah, I dunno what I was thinking

I wanted more runs and I’m so used to being down I automatically went to rally mode

It's quite understandable really.
Why is Branyan batting 6th?
Lester was the starter.
Ah, of course.
Same reason Gutz is batting 9th.
Don't hate them because they're beautiful, Wak!
He's probably tired of watching him pluck his eyebrows in his locker all the time
Well, you know how Wak said he was going to have a ton of different lineups?

The problem is some of those lineups are going to suck. Like tonight’s.

Dear Wak,
Please make the lineup suck less, soon, mmmkay?

Yours Very Sincerely,
Me

Except for those 5 runs, and guys getting hits.
We judge on process, not results.

No way Gutz should be batting 9th.

He's processed 2 hits, 2 RBIs and a SB in the #9 spot.

I like him batting in front of Ichiro better than Yuni.

5 runs is good for us
More Russell, please.
97 MPH down the middle!

Yes, more strikes!

Go back to the bench please
Yay Good Mark Lowe is back

I was not a fan of the Evil Twin.

Yesyesyes keep that up.
good lowe! good, good lowe!
I am starting to gain confidence and I DONT LIKE IT
Because of the pending let down?
no, he just has confidence issues
Fair enough.
That's the Mark Lowe I remember from the Grover Era.

First time post. This is the first Mariner game I’ve been able to watch in a week and Ichiro is making it fantastic.

This isn't the first time "good" Mark Lowe has shown up.

His evil twin often reasserts himself a few pitches later.

He's the one with the beard, right?
If you can call it that.
Goatee, yeah

He also speaks in opposites. For instance last week after giving up a homerun evil Mark Lowe was heard to have said “Did not give up home run, good!”

Welcome to the Jungle of LL

Hope your survive the experience!

Bendy things are nice. Take heed, Morrow.
Oh my, wonderful.
NICE! Varitek didn't have a chance after the three straight changes.
hey, jason

you’re supposed to swing before the ball’s in the catcher’s mitt

That 98 looks really fast after the 84 mph change!
Wow, Derek Lowe doesn't look like a total princess
Wait for it..
Gameday says the second pitch was almost straight down the middle.
I think you can get away with those type of pitches against Varitek.
:D :D :D

Oh, THAT is what good relief pitching is like.

Someone get Morrow a pen and paper
That ball was hit like 250 feet on a check swing!
Holy crap, that was a sweet little inning right there.
Jeez that was a great third strike call by Dave on that 98 mph heater
Don't bring in Morrow please
I'm guessing it'll be Aaardsma.
Not enough A's

The correct spelling is Aaaaaaardsma. The more you know.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrr, matey.
Can you say pitchforks and torches?

I don’t think Wak is going to change his mind again on this one. Brandon can have his extended spring training in a 7-2 game.

Based on every Seattle baseball article there is very little chance Wak will use him.
Does Junior have a playing schedule?

It’d be somewhat of a bummer to drive a 6 hour round trip to catch a live game and for him to not be in the line-up.

Don't bother driving out if a lefty is starting.
But I'm sure Wak would pinch hit with him if a right-handed reliever came in.
I'm pretty sure the version of the MLB Rules Wak has is missing the section on PH
He doesn't start against lefties
LATE
That's not fair cause it's the first response on my screen
He won't play against lefties. So try and catch the game when the M's are facing a righty.
Thanks for the tip guys.
He sits against lefty starters fairly often.
Word around the campfire is he's being platooned
So is he Barnes or Elias?
Are you suggesting he might only play against RHP?
Obviously he only starts when a lefty is on the mound.
Churchill said that Griffey flat out refuses to be platooned

and as such won’t be if he is signed as a free agent

Betancourt walked twice tonight? Seriously?

I can almost see Ichiro having two homeruns… that’s somehow pretty conceivable. Betancourt walking two times is not.

The first one was quite a bit more impressive than the second.

But yea. Pretty amazing.

Yeah, it's been heady times around these parts today.

Sanity and sobriety were questioned due to Yunis feats,

I hope that doesn't mean he has earned back playing time. His error earlier was painful.
Aardsma is warming up.

Thank God.

Aaardsma sighting imminent. Game terrifying.
Agreed 100%

I miss Shawn Kelley

Nope.

Let’s recall JJ at one point was a RHP of little account. I like the idea of GMZ pulling a guy from the scrap heap and turning him into more shiny new prospects down the road.

Part of me believes his plan with Morrow, Fields, and Aumont is to make one a closer, trade him for a haul, and then repeat with the next of the three first round picks.
He's still terrifying.
Perceptions.

Ichiro’s last 2HR game was 2003.

Whoops. Reply fail.
I thought it had happened before

but didn’t want to bother checking. Good man.

Check that. 2005.
Because we need more fastballs from our closer.
At least he can locate on occasion...

Who else do you want?

George Sheri-Oops nevermind

Rafael Sorian-No, nevermind that one too

I guess Aardsma will have to do.

Ryan Franklin says hello! He must be back on his vitamins
How could I forget about Franky?

What fun times we had!

He gave up a lot of homeruns, but they were all solo shots!

I loved that spin about as much as root canal

Franklin was on the radio this morning.

He is still baffled as to why he is no longer a Mariner.

That's because the Mariners have plenty of closers
Well IIRC he never did anything wrong while a Mariner. Whenever anything wrong happened, it was always someone else happened.

So he has a good point.

Taking a hit for steroids sure didn't help, the M's sure seemed to frown on that under Bavasi
At any rate, the point simply was to point out that it was not Morrow.
I got that

And while that’s nice, my point was that with Aarsdma in the game it will still be heart stoppingly good times.

I love how they're bragging about how Yuniesky saw 18 pitches over four at-bats
You know it's messed up when Yuni gets his own pitch counter.
Can i get a Funk Blast times 3!
Did Hideo Nomo make a comeback?
uncanny

i was thinking the exact same thing

I didn't realize that was Saito.

He looks like a blend of Matsuzaka and Nomo. For some reason I didn’t see it while he was a Dodger.

All the Japs look the same, eh?
Dude, the windup!
all right

let’s see whether 51 tries to jack another one

Insurance runs, now!
Three homeruns is most impressive than two.
Intent Walk

Doesn’t count towards LL tally. Drat.

BOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Come on Lopez.
Double-Steal?
Let's go for a

Bases-clearing double.

I sense a double steal coming on.
Loafie looks terrible.
Someone needs to tell him

that he’s still playing in the WBC.

He stops the hitch in his windup with men on base?
Radio only, so I can't see him
yeah, looks pretty normal now
If he didn't I could steal a base off him.
So you got footspeed, eh?

Are you faster than this man?

Lopez.

Poor hitter.

That was pitiful. Fuck.
GO BACK TO MEXICO YOU BRAIN DEAD MEXICAN
We have a Mexican on this team?

I have a reason to root for them now!!

Is this some kind of meme, calling Loafie a Mexican?

It’s pretty lame if it is.

Yeah well it's probably not going anywhere.
You mean it's not on a boat?
Where's Griffey?
Why not PH Griffey
Why wouldn't you pinch hit Junior for Sweeney right now?
Not allowed
Plus, we have the lead so I'd save griffey for someone truly terrible
But we're playing at home.
It is allowed, you just lose the DH.
A PH for the DH IS the new DH.
Is it?

I thought you lost it.

Only if DH takes the field.
Good clarification.
You only lose the DH if he plays in the field.
And Griffey has to pitch!
No, because we're at home and we make the rules.
I doubt most of the home crowd would mind seeing Griffey on the mound.
And the penalties are extreme.
Jesus, Loafie.

I think Wak needs to train the Marine sniper who threatens to shoot Yuni if he swings at crap on you.

More runners left on.

Sweet.

Well, that sort of sucked
Please Aardsma

Can’t overstate how badly we need this

Here goes nothing......
Please no more blown saves.
Mike Sweeney is a waste of space.
I know that Jacoby is the enemy...

But I like him. Even more so since he’s from the NW. Wish he played for the M’s.

Someone fetch me my pilss
Little nitro under the tongue?
When I see all those Red Sox fans in the stands...

I have to chuckle.

ALL ABOARD THE

AARDSMA EXPRESS!!!!!!

I will be so happy if it is actually express
Aardsma time, here we go!
WHERES MORROW
Please, please throw strikes

Please

Ummm where's Endy?
I think Wak took off early tonight
Nonono, throw strikes.
The Mariners are winning!
They're winning and I'm here to watch them!
One out! Get your hopes up!
Their winning because Kirsten left before the Ichiro homer barrage
And Yuni has two walks!
Boring after he drew the first one
Wrong.

Two Yuni walks in a game is rarer than a cycle.

I almost want them to lose now
Leading 3 games in a row in the 9th!
Or two.

Yea.

You're clearly not from the future.
1 down, 2 to go!
Thank god. No Jacoby on base.
Give them the raspberry, Sims!
Slider for a strike!
Wait how the fuck did Jakubauskas go six innings
He was motivated by your ostrich picture
He settled down after the first 3 innings. Started controlling the curveball and changeup after the 3rd.
That's with the Loafie botched DP with the bases full!
More curveballs please!
Breaking Ball!!
I long for the days when an out actually gave us some complacency
Hey Morrow, take some notes.

2 outs!

ICHIRANGE!
So this is pretty much Ichiro's best game since Japan
Thank goodness.
Oh Goodness me.
Wow!

That sounded close!

WOOOOO ICHIRO

Fuck, don’t scare us like this, Aardsma.

ChiChi saw Dave's post.
Like he'd ever bet raded
Nice, one more out to go!
Aardsma!

AKA Lucky Morrow!

Can you really blame the last two games on bad luck?
You can

You’d be wrong doing it. But you can.

Not entirely, no.
Trade him while he still has value!
stabstabstabstab
ONE MORE YOU WEIRD MOTHERFUCKER!
Too weird to close, too rare to pitch 8th innings.
That's a strike to RIchie Sexson
Hey another one
Thats to make up for the Eddie Gaedel strike earlier
No please don't fucking walk him to get to Bay

Please

Got away with that pitch.
Screw you JD
If Jason Bay hits a home run I will laugh my ass off.
Your ass must've been nervous about that one.
I started laughing
Damnation!

I hate JD Drew!!!

3 balls creamed, one is a hit.
Every now and then, when I have hope, the Mariners graciously stomp it into the ground and scold me for being so foolish.
Drew did that against Felix once too
I love JD Drew!
I'm not sure I can stomach three straight games with final inning blown leads.
I wonder how often Papelbon masturbates per nine innings
You think he'd have a sore one if it was more than twice
You say this as you believe he stops

Paps never stops with the masturbation

Sounds like he has some erectile dysfunction
There is nothing dysfunctional about Paps!

You just wish your closer was as good as him. NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!!

No team has suffa'd like the Boston faithful has!
Owuh fans areuh the only true fans!

All the othah fans ah not real fans!

Fack you!

Now hand me a Twisted Tea!

That's wicked retahded
Fack you, ya fackin quee-ah

Sawx will win it ahl when that dahkie Orteez stahts hittin’!

Chowdahhead.

Get in the cah.

It's pahked ovah in Bahstahn Yahd.
At least they can't win on a walk-off
Where the hell did that miss?
I hate umpires so much

Just had dejavu to last season, a call like that cost us a game

I wish that happened to us one additional time last season.
That was in the strikezone.
BIG swing and a miss.

One more strike!

A CONVERTED SAVE OPPORTUNITY!!!

VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK YOU RED SOX

MARINERS WIN MARINERS WIN

Hoooooooooooly shit.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH MY HEART!!!!!
WOOOOHOOOOO M'S WIN M'S WIN
JESUS GOD ALMIGHTY
YES!!!!!!

WE FREAKING WON A GAME!!!!!!!!!

WE WON A GAME HOLY FUCK

DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT AARDSMA

Jesus Fucking Christ
I couldn't have imagined a more hilarious way to win the game
Morrow walking the bases full and then striking out the side on 3-2 counts.
Funnier if it goes off Wlad's glove
I said win the game
Fuck my reading comprehension
And then we throw out the tying run at home plate.
I was hoping it's go!
WOOT!

Thank goodness we are not playing at Fenway!

wow

SafeCo I love thee

That was literally a few feet from a loss
OMG, WE WON!
SUCK MY BIG BLACK DICK LESTER
I'm pretty sure Poochie wasn't this vulgar
You Americans and your double standards for violence
I thought he died on his way back to his home planet
Then who the fuck is this impostor
And Jon Lester's brainfart cost the Red Sox the game.
Nice job Aardsma.

Don’t ever scare us like that again.

Oh it will happen again.
Sad but true.
Remember Dave's heart, fellas.
DAVE'S heart?
Grammar police arrest this man

He talks in maths. He buzzes like a fridge. He’s like a detuned radio.

Is that a Devo lyric?
Radiohead

I thought AC was giving MSB crap about use of the apostophe and I was commenting on that. But I was wrong.

Nope, David Aardsma makes my ticker tock.
Me too, me too.

Aliens is still a better movie than Alien.

Did you hear him on the radio?! "My heart... heart can't take it!" Great call too, ran that right to the limit
Can't wait for the archive now.
He had some good lines tonight, really on his game.
Can we credit Safeco with the save?
Great, so can we trade Aardsma for some good players now?

Since he’s a closer?

If only you could cut the zoom
Clearly he's boosting his trade value.
Fuck

Don’t let “Larry the Cable Guy” anywhere near the Mariners. No no no.

Too late.

Although he does bat left-handed.

We do need some left-handed bats.
As I said, if he can hit RHP, he's better than half the starting lineup.
Bingo, he might be worth the league min.
His presence didn't hurt.
For all we know Yuni would have walked three times.

But that hillbilly had to screw it all up.

Ichiro is way too selfish
Jaku gets the W!

Are we going to learn what a happy Jakubostrich looks like?

.

That's more of a gameface, I think.

Although I am unversed in the ways of ostrich emotion.

or

Heartwarming!
That's how I envision Monster Island
Hey, baby....

Holy shit we actually won this game?
According to the official scorer, yes.
Holy hairy fucking nut sacks
Bill Krueger just called Fenway a

“Little goofy park.”

What I hate the most is that I absolutely love Fenway.

the Red Sox don’t deserve such a cool stadium.

Fenway is not a real ballpark and they should be ashamed.
He also did it with a Boston accent.

I wouldn’t take it too seriously.

Nice mix of pitches from Aardsma
93 3" 12" 4-Seam Fastball
94 3" 12" 4-Seam Fastball
93 3" 13" 4-Seam Fastball
94 3" 12" 4-Seam Fastball

84 9"  2" Slider
97 3" 12" 4-Seam Fastball
96 3" 11" 4-Seam Fastball
97 2" 13" 4-Seam Fastball

96 2" 12" 4-Seam Fastball
94 3" 14" 4-Seam Fastball
96 3" 11" 4-Seam Fastball
94 3" 11" 4-Seam Fastball
94 3" 10" 4-Seam Fastball
96 2" 13" 4-Seam Fastball

96 2" 13" 4-Seam Fastball
95 2" 14" 4-Seam Fastball
95 2" 14" 4-Seam Fastball
96 3" 11" 4-Seam Fastball
96 3" 11" 4-Seam Fastball
Straight from the Establish the Fastball™ School of Pitching

Proud graduates: most of the Seattle Mariners

I approve of this trademark
Infinity percent more breaking balls than Morrow yesterday!
So you're saying it's a good thing?
I think he's saying 1/0 = ∞
Which is a good thing, right?
It's better than losing the game after Brandon grooves them, yes.
Sweet!

Jeffs crazy maths hurt my head.

It's more a maths joke.

Because n/0 = ∞ for all n, so the result is the same no matter how many non-fastballs he threw. And, truth be told, as long as it was more than 0, However, 1 is not really all that much greater than 0. A very small change resulted in a huge percentage change.

elbows the ribs Get it? Get it?

Yea...No, no I don't

So if he threw 2 breaking balls it was be 2x∞?

You and me both...

WHOOSH!

Aardsma allowed as how he was a trifle amped coming into the inning to close against the Sox.

crap. New York Vinnie on the post game show?!?!

I was just thinking the same thing

That man knows about nothing except eating. I was working the dessert cart in the suites once and he made the “I’ll take the whole cake just leave one piece” joke. I laughed and then he gave me a look like he was serious.

New York Vinny is making me dumber by listening to him.
As well as infinity less percent home runs!
Does GameDay ever say 2-Seam Fastball?
At least he's consistently hard

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