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Lookout Landing

5/19: Open Game Thread, Part 2

I blame myself for entertaining the possibility that Jose Lopez might not suck.

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I'm taking my Lopez poster down
You own a Lopez poster?
Its really an oversized picture
Jose Lopez reminds me of the kid I went to elementary school with who also wore a helmet outdoors at all times.
John Olerud?
I think his name was Donny
Which, as long as we're on it...

…what really was Olerud’s deal with wearing the helmet at first?

Had a seizure

and wore it as a precaution

He had a brain aneurysm in college and was advised by his neurologist to protect his skull.
I thought it had something to do with brain protection.

Thanks.

Yep.

Lucky to have been alive.

Eh, he was in good hands medically
Brain aneurysms can cause sudden death.

And do quite frequently.

I know his neurologist
Seriously, you hate the Nuggets more than the Lakers?
Well this is a strange reply fail
Nope.

I was meaning to get to it after the other thread was closed. I won’t debate about Olerud’s condition considering you have inside info on the matter.

Billups is wonderful. The rest of those jackers can go get fucked.
Yeah, but Kobe.

KOBE!

I don't give a shit about basketball and I hate Kobe.
I don't want to get this conversation going, it won't lead anywhere productive
Meh, it's cool.

Just don’t find many people who hate the Nuggets more than the Lakers.

I find them to be a team full of unconscionable jackers
One game closer to a Stanley Cup rematch!
What is Loaf's win expectancy contribution thusfar tonight?
-48.9%
And he still has 4 more innings!
This game is fucking stupid

I would prefer we use a dead guy at 2nd base, at least he can’t hit into DPs

I can't believe we're only down by one run.
Thank God for Cedeno and Ichiro

And Griffey, I guess

But we are down so much more

in terms of hope

This team is giving me an ulcer
Stop. Pumping. Fastballs. To. Lefties.
That also was bad
And hanging curveballs junk-high while you're at it
I can't believe we're losing
I can't believe we're losing
I can't believe we're losing
We sincerely need to practice the pickle drill.
We messed that up somehow.
Uh, I think he was out
Smug little shit.
Remember when we thought we had a stellar defensive ballclub?
At least the outfield is still good.
Give them time.
Felix's night isn't done yet...?
STUPID BRAINDEAD LATIN PLAYERS
Branyan's latin?

Cool.

I honestly feel like vomiting
So, uhhhh, about Felix turning the corner...
He is taking a roundabout
His 3rd 6-run outing of his last four.
Several of those runs are directly Loafie's fault
And for that reason Felix day is a little less bright than it used to be
MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE LESS OF A FLAMING FUCKTARD

I AM GOING TO FIND YOUR VENEZUELAN LITTLE LEAGUE COACH AND CRUCIFY HIM

Happy, Poochie?
Not really
Not even McCready can cheer you up. Yipes.
.
"A couple years ago I was a thrower, not a pitcher. Now I am a pitcher. I located all of my pitches today. I don’t want to throw 97 in the middle. I just want to go at the corners and throw my two seamers. They have a pretty good line up and you have to locate your pitches. Michael Young is a great hitter, you see that, two hits against me but if you get the other guys out it will be fine."
What a cock tease
.
"A couple days ago I was a pitcher, not a thrower. Now I am a thrower. I located few of my pitches today. I wanted to throw 97 in the middle. I didn’t want to go at the corners and throw my bendy things. They have a pretty mediocre line up and you have to locate your pitches. Chone Figgins is an annoying little ass twat, you see that, two hits against me but if you get the other guys on it will suck donkey balls."
In his defense, fuck us
Now fucking win the game you asswagons
Can we blame this on Johjima?
That's how you do it Felix

pitch to contact… Asshole.

Oh man

I just realized that everyone is probably so pissed at Felix right now that that isn’t even good bait. :(

Pissed? Nah.
It'd be like being mad at a kid with down syndrome for having trouble with math homework.
Except that I fucking hate Felix

and I kind of like the downs syndrome kid

Your hatred of Felix puzzles me
I hate him too right now
Yeah but John always hates him
It's not John's fault he's dumb
I'm a contrarian

It just so happens that you guys are often right around here… which means that I have to be wrong just to satisfy my contrarian nature.

Have you and marc w ever had beers together?
No... I have no idea who marc w is
You'll note that I gave you the opportunity to assume I was referring to Felix with 'he'
Ooh... clever... missed that. >:(
But does he write strange, unprompted, short posts about his awfulness?
Honestly, he pitched better than his line by getting a ton of groundballs (9GB outs, 3 FB outs, 5 or 6 hits were ground balls), many swinging strikes.

But this just makes his astonishing thick-headedness even more painful.

I love Johjima
LET'S GO M'S!!!!
STOMP STOMP CLAP CLAP
WHY ARE YOU BUNTING DOWN BY 2 RUNS???!?!!!!
YOU DON'T FUCKING SACRIFICE ON A 2-0 COUNT DOWN BY 2 IN THE SIXTH INNING
I would say "you don't bunt for a hit on a 2-0 count" but yeah
Oh but they did

What’s the run expectancy difference between runner on 2nd no outs to runner on 3rd one out?

That was stupid.
ENDY'S GOIN DEEP 2NITE
Depends how drunk your mom is
Mine worked because I didn't use chatspeak
What is the point of Tom Tango if Wakamatsu still does stuff like that
For the sake of this argument, I wish we knew whether or not the players do things on their own
This much bunting has to be ordered
Please don't blow this Endy
Cause we are playing for that ONE RUN!!!

We need to pad our “Losses by 1 run” stat

This makes less than no sense
God dammit Ronny.

If you had let that pitch go by, you would’ve been one strike away from earning our everlasting love.

You're going to get heartbroken a lot
Ah, nevermind.

I should pull mlb.tv back up.

What was the point of that?

Does anybody on our team know how baseball works? We need base runners, dude who’s already homered tonight has a 2-0 count, what’s he do? Perfect.

BCB warned us about this
What's BCB?
An annoying blog
Sounds like a good read.

What’s the address?

http://www.goatriders.org/
Well this looks like porn
That's not BCB
Hey did you hear the Cubs were buttrammed by Joel Pineiro?
So why is poop worse than crap?
The word poop is more jarring
No poop is a funny word crap is a swear
Poop is always funny
Nice sac
Please tell me you're being sarcastic.
At least he got the run in, didn't pull a Lopez
We are now closer to Felix losing to Matt Palmer by one run
The first step towards failure is trying
Lopez is a winner
If you never try to do anything failure seems like a safe bet.
Yeah but it's more general
I guess if you are going to let Endy hit and the obvious outcome is a ground ball, bunting isn't quite as horrific
We're down by two
1!
Oops.
Wait a second, it is 6-5. Fucking beer
In a way, yes, but a Cedeno ground ball to the right side accomplishes the same thing, though.
Palmer throws 95?
Palmer isn't pitching
I had to go pee and I missed something
brb dessert
Hearing I had to pee made you crave dessert?
No I believe he was referring to my behavior circa last season.
He was throwing 88 in the first inning...
My MLB-tv just took a crap.
You mean it just took a poop
It's feeling better now

But for all the great improvements, it still breaks up too much at the the MLB server end.

Just setting up the walk-off Ichiro blast.
Jason Bulger looks like he's near someone that smells
He has huge ears
Too bad his first name isn't Turd
Funny name
I'm glad they brought that back this weekend
I would have watched had I known Will Ferrel was hosting
I usually just Hulu the shit out of it the next day. You can usually smell the stinkers without having to commit a bunch of time to the whole show
And the reprisal of Harry Caray was lovely
Thanks for the tip
They put the whole thing on one page in order, so it's pretty convenient
So, you see what, one sketch?
Sometimes two
HAHAH RANDY JOHNSON IS BIG UNIT!
Nice play

Wish he could hit though

Hot Damn Beltre.
Sick throw by Beltre.

Yea, I said it.

That would be so much more enjoyable if he were hitting.
I rate that commercial +9 for gayness
We're boned aren't we?
Griffey is due.
That would be a no then?
I did notice that he hasn't struck out yet.
For a 2 homerun game.
If Griffey's ever gonna hit a homer it has to be now
He used up his homerun quota for the month.
Turns out this is not a skill
INSIDE THE PARK
Well that could have been it if it wasn't so suck.
Access-denied.
Boy I bet we have a good chance to win that game
Gotta hit it a liiiiiiiittle bit deeper for a home run
what the ass was that
What the fuck is wrong with him
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SWINGING AT?
Another great AB by AB.
Against my better judgment I can't help but feel like something is seriously wrong with that guy
He must be not injured.
I fuckin hate when he's healthy
Someone needs to hit him in the ankle
Sigh
In the celebratory clubhouse, third baseman Adrian Beltre joked to Hernandez that he was going to whack him in the ankle before his next start.
Is this why the site motto was changed?
No I just decided I wouldn't mind Branyan's wiener in my mouth
Screen-shotted.

Wow.

I can and will do worse
Midnight maiden?
My thought's exactly
Sexson's is easier on the gums
Branyan's sexiness

is what dictated the change

The old one was gay
Beltre needs another day off.
Adrian. Seriously. Knock it the fuck off
if beltre hasn't had a hit since thursday, why the fuck is he batting cleanup?
The same reason we capitalize words in the English language.

Steroids and Cocaine.

What the hell, man? This doesn't make any sense, idiot.
alright, now I'm perplexed.
I'm a member of the Royal Society of Preventing Capital Letter Neglect

Please don’t send more capital letters out into the cold rainy night.

I think that one was directed at himself

But we do try and make a point around here to use proper capitalization. Helps increase readability of comments

Apologies, gentlemen.
No problem

You don’t act like a crazy or anything, so you’re doing ok around here. Just one of LL’s little quirks is an effort to make comments contain proper capitalization and grammar.

Yes because none of us act like a crazy
Yeah I started to question my use of that word as soon as I hit enter
Amazing how much crazy you can get away with if you use proper grammar and punctuation.
Yeah.
All work and no play make Jack a dull boy; All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

See? Totally ineffective.

Which is something I'm not entirely used to on the internet (attention to grammar) but I'm willing to adapt.

Now back to heartache and pain.

They still think he's the hitter he's been the for past four years.

And hot and cold streaks have no predictive value.

The most we are going to get for Beltre is a case of bats.
Like this?

Making a fantastic case for himself in his walk year.
I guess it was steroids.
Remember he only hits in his contract year
Adrian Beltre is a selfish player who only plays well in his walk year
If he keeps this up, all we'll be able to get for him at the deadline is..

A bag of balls and some left over pink bats.

Imagine if this wasn't a contract year and he wasn't trying

He’d be about 0-120 with 87 Ks

It'd stop being depressing and start being extremely funny at around 0-50

At that point I’d probably be rooting for more outs

That was pretty cool.
Yeah, buddy.
BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ronny

!

He should play both second and short at the same time
Kendrick you retard
Ronny

Looks like some sort of bird..GIF time anyone?

A sexy bird with a phenomenal ass

Or so I hear

Phenomenal ass?

I concur.

You're just saying that because he's your husband.
Ah, yes. An hour has passed.

So yes, Decatur.

No, but I have a great .png of Lopez

That's fucking sick
Fahey in the hand is worth two in the bush?
I'm not entirely sure who or what this is exactly.

But, it made me smile. Thank you.

We need a new pitching coach
I'd like our chances of scoring more next inning if it weren't for Lopez, smack dab in the middle
Yay false hope
Nice throw Kenji!
Those retards are running way too much
But we're out bunting them!
Cedeño even tags better than Yuni.
Hahaha. Kenji says no.
I bet Yuni pinch hits for Lopez.
Russell Branyan has hit our 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th longest home runs this year
Also like 6 more of them than anyone else on the team
Hasn't he basically hit all of the home runs that haven't just barely cleared the fence by five feet or less?
Griffey has a couple
Hey Scot Shields
Jesus Lopez how can you be so awful
God. Dammit.
Useless piece of poo.
Yay Batista!
Dammit

This game needs to end already.

I am now thinking of you as a fucking retarded brother, Loafie

God, this is the worst game I’ve ever seen one player not named Brad Lidge play

I kind of hope you are not Lopez's brother because they seem to be a bit unlucky
THE AVENGER OF BLOOD
I AM CURRENTLY RECONCILING JUSTICE WITH FAITH
AND POSSIBLY WRITING SPANISH POETRY
Careful Abender and I are gonna get sued for that shit!
This is going to be our next book club book after Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, please?
I'm like 90% sure that it will in fact be next
We're gonna quadruple his book sales
So we're bringing in Batista eh?
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea
Oh yeah.


I’m ready.

This is awesome.
,

It almost feels unsporting to make fun of him, he makes it so easy.

He’s like that poor, chained bear that Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot.

Note that this does not make me stop mocking him.
Where's Eileen and Estefania

Our new best f@#@$$ friends forever.

I'm going to buy her/them some BFF necklaces so the world can know
To show that you and I are BFF with Eileen and Stephy or to show that Eileen and Stephy are BFF with Miguel Batista?

Either way, awesome!

Well dammit I should read better.
By the way

Is there any way you could stick in some bunnies or something? That’d be perfecto!

Now you see it, now you don’t.

I'm not clever enough to make the original picture.

You can find it on www.miguelbatista.net. It’s real, and it’s spectacular.

Oh yes.

I was introduced to it not too long ago. I was once lost, but now am found.

When did Batista decide he would grow some puny ass sideburns?
I hate his haircut so hard
If Balentien doesn't pinch hit for Endy Chavez against Fuentes it'll be Mr. Angry time
Yeah that would be ridiculous
Are you even allowed to pinch hit?

Wak and I thought they changed the rules to stop that bullshit.

Yeah, they're trying to shorten game times.
Then why did they bring in Batista?
One run ballgame and it's Batista.

Oh boy.

Oh good I love when he puts a man on base and uses his fun tempo
Well that 3-2 pitch was pretty close
Yeah, lets walk the leadoff man in a one run game
Got to love Batista.
Not going be be 1-run for long.
This is pretty much a shitty game in every way
Guessing we'll be down by three after this inning.
Yeah, it's good to be conservative with your guesses
WTF Abreu has 15 steals
The Angels run like crazy people
So does anyone on the Angels have a normal first name?
We have a player named Yuniesky and a player named Wladimir
Don't forget Endy
Robert Abreu

John Lackey. Jeff Mathis. Mike Napoli. Chone Figgins. Brandon Wood. Nick Adenhart. Joe Saunders. Brian Fuentes.

Yeah, Chone is normal
Even though it's pronounce "Sean", Chone is still not a normal name.
Chone is probably the most unusual name on that team.
Chone seems normal now because it is a projection system.

I expect Marcel, Zips, Oliver to become popular as well.

Torii
Yeah, Torii is normal

for a chick, maybe

With one i maybe.
Not when you add superfluous letters
Don't you have an extra 'r' and 'd' for "Tori?"
Well, Torrid is an actual English word...
So is Pneumococcal
Yeah but the F is silent
Nick....

Oops.

Tardiness Fail.
So why did we pull Lowe in favor of Batista?
Maybe Wak is worried that 9th inning suckage is contagious between people with diabetes.
This, in no way,

feels like a close game

Fortunately it's not
Sims: "Good pitch."

No it wasn’t.

It got results! So it's a good picth dammit!
Dave that was not a good pitch, Morales is an idiot.
HAHAHA you got K'd by Batista!!!!

Feel your shame

I wonder how special this team thinks it is now?
1995!

Minnesota

I actually trust Batista
Since when?
He's been our best reliever this season
I should go buy a 6er of San Miguel
Batista shut them down.


Time for the Mariners to open it up!!!!!!!!!

CAN OF WHOOPASS TIME!!!
YESSSSSSSSS.

A shame the original thread of this imagine (with the LSB troll) got deleted. Such is the price of eternal vigilance.

Losing a one-run game that feels like a blowout is new
We can have Morrow fix that.
If we win this game it will definitely be a statement win
The statement: We can win even when our second baseman tries friendly fire
That was a surprisingly competant performance
Not especially considering that he's been good all year.
It'll take until about mid-June for NonSuck Batista to seem normal to me
That guy is positively catatonic. Someone call a doctor
If the Mariners really are inspired to win by the Moose then I'd rather lose
Good Lord I think those kinds of backpacks are stupid
Who else is looking forward to getting the order back up to Griffey?
9 for a 11 in save opportunities.

Fucking insensitive terrorist bastard.

Fuentes look like

he eats nothing but refried beans

If Ronny Cedeno homers again I will have 5 children and name them all Ronny
Within the next hour
Moot point, asshole
Males cannot bear childlren
TIME TO BE FUCKING OWNED BY RONNY
TIME TO FUCKING OWN RONNY
We don't sell children anymore
And here comes Wlad.
Oh thank God they're actually pinch hitting
I was kind of hoping for angry Graham
What is this late game change of players at the hitting spot?
I am unfamilliar with this
Looks like somebody forgot to check the lineup card

Wlad’s a loose cannon

WILDCARD BITCHES
I think some hooligans are calling it "pinch hitting"
It's a new rule the home team can choose to use.

As long as they have DH pitch.

It'd be a blow to the defense but it'd be worth it.
GRAHAND SLAM TIME!!!
I have a feeling we won't be going to the playoffs
Wow

Fan-fucking-tastic

Good god that pitch was perfect
Perfect pitches always invoke the sorts of reactions that took place above.
But perfect pitches are never called correctly by the umps

Like Gihyou said below that was a lousy time for the ump to correctly call a strike

So unless Ichiro homers we lose
That is my prediction
I'll top that with "unless we score more than the Angels, we lose".

Just going out on a limb here.

Fucking great time for the ump to actually get one right
Why the fuck would they pinch hit Sweeney for Gutierrez
Does it feel to anyone else that Ichiro has ended several games lately?
I was just thinking the same
Merced is a shithole
Not if you're Hmong! Or Ray Allen
Brian Fuentes should go back to Africa
Rev's prediction of a 4 game sweep comes closer and closer to fruition.
He must be a baseball guru!

/resultsbasedanalysis

If we lose, does HH take over LL?
Felix lost to Matt Palmer!
Jose Lopez
It was Yuni last night
FREE CHRIS BURKE
Felix lost to being a human ballsack.
Quick, Nibbles!
I hate this team with a passion
Well that's a swift kick in the unmentionables with a frozen shoe
A swift kick in the zombies?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO
It's almost like we should have one both of those except for the faggot twins
Golly gee that was fun
Next year's Steven Strasburg here we come WOOOO
Harvey is totally not worth it at all
Who's Harvey?
Can't wait for that statement loss that causes us to start trading.
Bedard's next good start may be his last!
Hopefully soon
What a consolation prize! We get to watch the guitarist of Pearl Jam take batting practice!
Can he play infield
Not only do I have to see them lose, but the very next thing my eyes are assulted with is that cockgobbler Krueger
So Joel Pineiro pitched a complete game shutout

against the Cubs, of all teams. Ok.

That was painful, just painful.
I feel magnificent
Our middle infield has 100% justified my racism
Those are my favorite kinds of losses.
We need a white infield!
Or an asian middle infield.
Jack Wilson! Kelly Johnson! Blake DeWitt!
Jack Wilson! JJ Hardy! Chris Coghlan!
Is he descendent of Father Coghlin?
Firesale!!!
This game really puts a damper on the Silva news
MAPLE BATS WILL KILL US ALL
I'm surprised

Players are still allowed to use them.

Just some stuff I found here and here

That second one made me queezy
We just lost sooooo biiiiig
Mwahahahaha.

I am enjoying this series.

Where do you go to revel in the win? You're clearly not on HH.
I spend my time here, for better or for worse.
Your self-restraint is admirable.

It’s like your GTE vanished with a snap of the fingers.

I know where the line is.

I can poke fun, but trolling will not end well.

From Halo Heaven
HOW: Well the way to beat the Mariners is to score more runs than they do.
Once again, this expert analysis brought to you by: Halos Heaven

Feel the panther inside you!

I'd rather feel Gutz inside me.
Muscial Lineups
Steal some outs
I stole an out once...

I was immediately ejected from the stadium

If Felix had gotten any of the Angels' LH 1-2-3 hitters using 15 fucking fastalls in a row, those outs would've been stolen.
Sex panther?
You can only say fuck once a month there.
I might average more than once an hour
824 fucks by Graham in LL history

You’ve been here longer than a month. Nice math fagface.

Fuck you you fucking fuck

I was just trying to boost my numbers fuckhead
Now that that's solved, it's time to figure out the world.
Is that a Hendu-ism?
AAAAHHHRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to kick a puppy

72% fastballs from Felix today
When you have no fastball command, you obviously have to throw more fastballs to feel it out
Your count rather than Gameday's, right?

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