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Lookout Landing

5/2: Open Game Thread, Part 2

So Trevor Cahill sucks.

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Yes he does

and if not for some stupid baserunning plays we’d probably be up 3-1

Canucks are 4-2 down

after leading 2-0.

Picked an annoying day for aggressive baserunning
Wow stop fucking swinging at the first pitch
How about you try running, Rob.
Rob Johnson is a hero
A hero to people who wish to be greatly overcompensated for mediocre performance everywhere

I think if Clement is not called up in the next two weeks I am going to have a psychotic break.

Pinella 14?

Wha?

Replaying, it looks authentic.

Who the fuck buys an authentic jersey of Lou?

We've got to fix this guy's ERA
Man, I can't wait to hear about the great start turned in by Trevor Cahill
Indeed Cahill sucks

That’s why he lasted six innings against the Mariners while allowing 10 baserunners.

It seemed like he was pitching up in the zone a lot for a extreme groundball pitcher tonight.

Good game from Frankie.
PORNSTAR
Gone Mainstream!
Guuuutzzz!!!!
Andrew Bailey is Oakland's Shawn Kelly

I wonder if we can trade Silva for him.

Have we ever made a trade with the A's since Billy Beane became GM?
One can dream

Some day Beane’s bad trade virginity will be broken and the sabremetric god will fall.

Ah shit, GDIP
hmmmm

I think I’ve discovered what a dirty Gutierrez is.

Go on....
Second Cousin...

of Dirty Sanchez.

Yuni-splitter.
Is anyone else's MLB.tv refusing to play in HD?
I uninstalled nexdef, so I wouldn't no
Watching MLBN tonight.
I've all but given up trying.

You’d think MLBAM would work out all the bugs in something before releasing it.

Ichiro, good time to slap the ball in play
I sure wish 9 hits would equal more than 1 motherfucking run
10 hits!
ICHIRO!
I thought that was going to be an out.
GOGO ENDER
I-CHI-RO

COME ON ENDY!!

GOOD GRAVY THE SACKS ARE JUICED WITH RAINIERS
WHERE IS JEFF CLEMENT?!
In Tacoma with the Cheney Studs.
I love bases loaded.
You must not be a Mariner fan
Maybe he was referring to the video game series?
Why do you say that?
We're not exactly known for capitalizing on bases loaded situations
No team is known for that.

I don’t know how much of that kind of clutch hitting I would buy.

When the bases are loaded, walks can also score runs
Endy granny would be ohhh so sweet.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEZE
Fuck, should have capitalised on that... GIDP just to fucking spite us
Come on squeeze...
I ant a grand slam instead
Now you're on the trolley!
Woo Leverage Index
TAKE TAKE TAKE
YES TRY TAKING PITCHES
KEEP TAKING
2-0, You beautiful man Endy.
jeepers creepers!
Well that will do.
DEEP ENOUGH!
2-1 MARINERS!
YES! WAY TO BE ENDY!
LEAD LEAD LEAD LEAD
PB PB PB PB
That's cool.
And he didn't even have to bunt!
Now would be a good time to get a hit or a walk Griffey.
Wow thanks for fucking ignoring me
Nothing like asking for greatness and receiving a one-pitch grounder.
The FSN guys were expecting more...

Showed a 4-1 lead after the hit, and changed it back quickly.

Must've been the ghost of the Lopez

homerun.

Beltre is very Vlad Guerreroish circa 2009
Oh well, right idea Jr.
damnit jr...
Yikes Griffey WTF
SOMEONE POST THE RALLY PUPPY
I love Rally Puppy.
Getting pretty close to the Aardsma Adventure.
FIRST PITCH SWINGING YEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Centered fastball, elevated in the zone.

He ought to be swinging at that.

ENDY HAS EARNED HIS WAY ONTO MY FANTASY TEAM
AND THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ONLINE SPORTS
No.
YOU DIDNT WAIT LONG ENOUGH
Come on 2006 Lowe, no later incarnations
!!!

We're not rallying...
I wanted to post this when Ichiro was up
Clearly, I am late a bit
This is still absurdly creepy
I really want to know what's behind Silva.
Behind every good woman...
It's a Pepsi can.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
That was marvelous framing there by Rob Johnson.
Lowe has a hold.

We should make a stat for 7th inning relievers next.

Pre-Holds?
Do not walk the 9 hitter you fool
Ichiro defense
That was close.
I love Ichiro but he exaggerates. Why not? He gets bored.
That was shitty.
Fuck

Fine time for something like that to happen

Damn you Ibanez no possessions during the game.
SOMEBODY GIF THAT
Wow strike one was nowhere near the zone.
Consistent call today
Neither was strike two
Now would be a good time for a K
Oh God, please get Giambi out
Giambi should probably suck here.
That's some pretty hefty booing
The Official Website For People Who Dream Of Doing Naughty Naughty Things To Russell Branyan

How wonderful!

This should lead to some interesting google search results.
Why not Vargas?
He feels right in a Rainiers uniform, why not is right
Why Vargas?
He's murder on Lefties.

Stats.

Good thing he's not Ellsbury.
Giambi is days away from a Just For Men commercial
His beard is weird.
Wow, that was queer.
Fuck fuck fuck >:(
WHAT THE FUCK YUNI POSITIONING

ARGH

I fucking hate you Yuniesky Betancourt, I fucking hate you
That's not Yuni's fault.
That changes nothing
Aaaaaaaaand shift.
F'n shifts.

0-2.

WHERE IS THE SHORTSTOP??!?!?!??!
Playing on the other side of second because Wak called for the lefty shift.
I'm not blaming Yuni

I just am sad.

Hey look! Leaving 25 yards up the middle isn't smart
FUCK 30s phrasess just FUCK
Mark Lowe is quite the "gunsel"

context: http://www.paper-dragon.com/1939/slang.html

God people.
Oh he really wasn't all that good Dave, it's the Oakleaves.
god dammit
Fucking shitfuck
You can change the pitcher now
Someone needs to put a hit out on Yuniesky

Anyone….

Really, Anyone, please.
Take Lowe out before he fucking loses us the game
Not Lowe's fault Endy missed keeping the ball in front of him.

And Giambi and Holliday hit really good pitches.

That changes nothing
Other than the fact Lowe has pitched well?
And the fact that Giambi grounded out,
I didn't say he hadn't I just don't think they should keep him in to face Cust

I want him to strike him out very badly though

Holliday making contact on the slider is impressive

3 in the zone in a row and still no out, poor Lowe

No likey dead-even fan graph

This is getting old.

Or, y'know, have a guy with poor control pitch to a lefty who draws a ton of walks and hits for power
This is rather stupid.
There finally is a lefty in the bullpen, too
All of his strikes have been right down the middle, too.
Like we have anyone in the pen that doesn't come with poor control.
Please strike him out
I don't have TV is Mark Lowe really sucking that bad?

Or did he catch a couple tough breaks?

He's pitched pretty poorly.

Although he got hurt by groundballs, he gave up a couple line shots too.

I like how the linedrives were caught but the groundballs are the ones that hurt him.
Stuff is great

But Holliday is a great hitter and Lowe forgets his control at home somedays. His Slider is devestating if he can locate it.

Remember when Lowe had a death changeup last year
Did it die?
BWAHAHAHAHA BITCH
Woooooooooooo K!
LOPEZ SWINGS AT THAT PITCH TO PROTECT THE STRIKE ZONE

FUCK YES

WOOO MARK LOWE
YES GOD THAT WAS STRESSFUL
Thank the good lord.
Who's Cal Ripken Junior?

I know of only one Junior.

3-1

LETS GO BELTRE

The Blowers / Sims Beltre Homer Auction is strange.
BB...?!....!
FUNK WALK

DOOOO IT

FUNK WALK!
YAY FOR PATIENCE
Nice Dance Beltre
Such lovely happy feet!
WALK IT UP!
A dance AND a walk. Nice.
Surprised to see Davis shading Beltre to right field.
Awright les go now Russ
UNLEASH THE FURY
THE SEXUAL HEALING SHALL NOW BEGIN
I'VE GOT THAT FEELING
A 1939 TRIVIA QUESTION

Who was the Time Magazine “Man of the Year” published in 1939?

Don't answer this.
I'm going to guess Hitler
I was going to guess that ironically, and it turns out to be correct
I believe that would be Hitler.

For invading Poland and starting a war.

I guessed correctly
Stalin
You're right.... haha this run is awesome

37: Chiang Kai- Shek / Soong May-Ling
38: Hitler
39: Stalin
40: Churchill
41: FDR
42: Stalin

Then Marshall, Ike, Truman, Byrnes, Marshall, Truman, Churchill

Jimmy Byrnes was an odd choice.
Did not know you could win it twice

Churchill 1940, shakes head.

You all answered!!
I don't know who it is, but I know it's not Hitler
Buzzer sound
Dammit :(
Greg Oden!
He wasn't born then
That Diamond Club woman ...

… has a full head of hair that resembles a sasquatch or a wookie. Gross.

SBN has crapped out on me.
ugh...

hope your mouth was closed.

That was not an inspirational at bat.
Wak, why the hell wouldn't you pinch hit Rob Johnson. This is frustrating
If he lets Rob Johnson hit I will
off yourself? Burn a widow?
Eat an entire shoe?
I was going to say make hell reign on Earth, but Rob Johnson just made that with 3 swinging strikes.
Dammit threat's not gonna work anyway.
make some cookies?
Wish they could make contact
FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON!
That was just a fantastic AB for Rob Johnson.
Go away, Rob Johnson.
SWING AND A MISS

BUT HE CALL GOOD GAME, YA!?

Rob Johnson you are my main man. Thanks buddy. Thanks.
Aardsma time anyone?
It is definitely Aadrsma time.
I prefer shaving cream
Sterling Savings Bank commercials are just plain retarded
I think they are making fun of WaMu
Even if they are they're still horrible, horrible commercials
Agreed.

I’ve just been muting them recently.

So how many people will Aardsma walk before he gets an out?
Awesome everybody, we got Steven Shell!
Has anyone yet deciphered the Japanese code words on the backstop ads?

Secret messages perhaps?

"If you can read this, you're playing right field"
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
I have no TV but I'm gonna guess it's an Nintendo ad for a DSi.
"Nintendo FTW"
"Let's extend Johjima's contract"
Not unless 'Nintendo' written twice counts as a secret message.
But it is! Code words to instruct Japanese viewers on secret plans.
FUCK THIS UMPIRE THAT WAS A FUCKING STRIKE
That was Bobby Crosby you fucking moron
I'd like to see more of his fastball
But using what viewing medium?
Like I'm falling for that one
8-9-1 starting off the ninth, not our best shot.
Ichi Blast
I want to see how Ichiro would react to the mob greeting him at home plate if he hit a walk-off bomb.
Who are collectively 5-for-9 tonight.
infield set for 2
If Cedeno goesn't get off the bech at some point soon, I'll be disappointed but in no way surprised
Nick Swisher donated his hair to Travis Buck
I thought he just went to clown school instead of batting practise
Blackhawks win 6-3
K! SIT DOWN BITCH!
HARD THROWING WHITE GUYS!
A stories Seattle tradition.

Almost Live.

That's what you get for having long ugly hair, jackass.
Aardsma is quite fortunate that he has to face the bottom part of the order.
I wonder if Johnson is surprised by Aardsma breaking balls, even after calling them
They're called spinny fastballs
Can't throw him out with a breaking ball.
Hahahaha Rob Johnson.
He was out
Just kidding
Except not.
You're Wrong.
I said just kidding

Jeez

What a cannon
Somebody almost lost his glove on that steal.
Next time they should do a throwback to 1943 and make Wak stay in a cage in the clubhouse.
Jesus Christ recced
But then Ichiro and Joh wouldn't get to play either...
The US army forced Japanese Americans with useful skills into service.
Excellent.
You deserve an atomic drop for that comment
That's why they call spring training "camp."
You only show up to distribute gems
I was cooking.
I wish you could share
Madison Market needs to start carrying chicken that costs less than $10.
Woooooooooooooo for walks!
Great jump there.

With how hard Aardsma threw the ball and how fast Rob got rid of it.

SON OF A FUCKING BITCH
GODDAMMIT ROB JOHNSON!
FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON
ROB FUCKING JOHNSON DIE IN A FIRE.
FUCK YOU JOHNSON
FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON
FUCK ROB JOHNSON
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FUCKIHNG FIRE
FUCCCCK

You ruin Ichiros PERFECT THROW!

OH MY GOD FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON FOR BEING HTE WORST HUMAN BEING EVER
OH MY GOD FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON FOR BEING HTE WORST HUMAN BEING EVER
Rob you so suck
Now do we all agree?!1?
You dumb shit
...

WHY IS JEFF CLEMENT IN TACOMA

JESUS FUCKING ROB JOHNSON.
ROB JOHNSON IS A GOOD DEFENSIVE CATCHER!
FUCK YOUR ASS WITH CARLOS SILVA'S PENIS
I feel sick...
The defensive specialist strikes
FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

ALL THE FUCKING TIME IN THE WORLD!
Way to screw that one up Johnson.

GIVE ME JEFF CLEMENT!

Thank you Bobby Corsby for doing what I want to do
Does that charge Ichiro's UZR?
HE WAS OUT BY A MOTHER FUCKING MILE

GO TO HELL JOHNSON

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
CLEMENT UP JOHNSON DOWN
Rob Johnson is a good defensive catcher.
I think Johnson himself started that rumor.
Or he put his dick in Neihaus' mouth and took a picture.
I fucking hate Rob fucking Johnson

Jesus Chris his defense must’ve cost us like 8 runs by now

Fucking hell I'm pissed
ROB JOHNSON SUCKS AT EVERYTHING
Please quit trying to roll the double R in Guiterrez if you can't do it.
THE BALL WAS THERE HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THE BALL AND CATCH THE BAL

CATCH THE FUCKIDG BLLAL UYOU GOD DMAN HORSEFUCKINGGNSDNPOSDJFPOSH!!XCDVFZS

That goddamn throw was placed perfectly.

Jeff Clement and his slow brain makes that fucking play.

If Wak had pinch hit for Johnson like he should have, Joh would have made that play
You know Jeff Clement probably does the same thing

But you know what? Jeff Clement also could have driven in any of the runs fucking Johnson has left on base tonight!

Fuck you Rob!

No, he probably doesn't

You couldn’t have possibly asked for a better throw.

The irony is if Kenji pinch-hit for him last inning, Kenji would be in. And Kenji makes that play.

Or maybe we think Clement is a lot worse than he actually is.
Would have been nice if Crosby had not run through that stop sign.
He wasn't even close to catching it
He's got to be mildly retarded at minimum

Fucking perfect throw.

It was not a good throw

short hopping the catcher is always a bad idea

Especially when the catcher is a useless fuckhead
But the throw still beat him Rob Johnson had time to get the runner out he just fucked up.
There is no way that isn't a good throw

It just wasn’t perfect

It hit him in the chest

I don’t know what else you could possibly want.

Short-hopping the throw is an excellent idea.

Gives is a true hop and slows it down a bit.

The replay made it look like the ball hit Johnson square on the chest protector.
Ichiro is going to exact revenge with a funk blast.
TO ROB JOHNSON'S HEAD?!?!?!?
If it is a walk-of, Ichiro is going to deck Rob upon meeting at the plate.
Perfect time for an Ichiro spite homer
Fuck it's even worse on replay!
Wuertz? I thought Ziegler was the closer
That was the most demoralizing thing to happen this year.

Well, probably second to our introduction to the Ministry of Silly Walks in Minnesota, but still.

How are we fucking losing to TREE LEAFS?!

The Oaks are among history’s all time stupid mascots. Right up there with Montgomery Biscuits.

What about the Stanford Cardinal

and the dancing tree?

At least those are humorous. Oak Leaf? Just fucking sad.
I think I'd rather lose to the Biscuits.

Nothing funny about an Oak tree.

Fuck Montana
Whoa whoa whoa let's not go nuts.
Yeah, please don't sen us an more "ML" (Sic) players.
This catching situation should become a bigger issue, I know it's mentioned here a lot, but still
NEEDS MORE POWER OR CLOSER FENCE
God dammnit

We’re fucked

HMMM...
...THIS FUCKING BLOWS.
Great, here comes Yuni.
We're doomed aren't we.
Yunierrorski. My fav!
FUCK

GUTIERREZ DIDN’T HIT THAT BALL OUT BECAUSE ROB JOHNSON IS A FAG

Rob Johnson molested him and has caused him great mental anguish.

Just like he molested all of us.

I feel violated.
Now might be a good time to bring out a PH
Wak doesn't pinch hit
Which is ridiculous
I know :(
die yuni die
BUT OF COURSE
Yuni does what Yuni does best.
GREAT SWING YUNI WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Great fucking job Yuni

You’re such an asset

GOD DAMMIT
YUNI YOU ARE A WASTE OF ATOMIC MATTER
I hope he doesn't procreate
I hope he just goes away.
All up to Ichiro.

This would be an excellent time to hit a homer.

I am so glad to have Yuni-talent on our team.
I-CHI-RO!!
This has been a miserable sporting day, thank fuck it's (almost) over
They want to pitch to Endy.

Fuck

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1939
Poland style.
I sense a huge Ichi-blast. Or a walk. One or the other.
WHY THE FUCK DID HE SWING AT THAT
Hilarious

Blowers: “A good aggressive swing by Ichiro (on a 3-1 pitch in the dirt). Now he just has to find a way to get on base…”

Nice. Got the ump in the ballsack.
What's this taking pitches

when they cannot find the strike zone, heresey!!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Thats the game fuck rob johnson fuck him fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
WORST GAME OF THE CENTURY
Fuck fuck fuck, I am fucking pissed off all down to Rob cunting Johnson
HOW THE FUCK DID WE LOSE THIS GAME?
That was painful.
God damnit this has been a complete and total shitfest
Well, there you go.
I hate Rob Johnson.
Well that is some bullshit.

Thanks a lot Johnson.

Well, at least it didn't feel like we deserved to win
We played far better than Oakland in every aspect except catcher defense and managerial prowess.

I’d say it felt like we (Mariner fans) deserved a win, at least.

WAK ought to be fined a month's salary for that.
Rob Johnson is my favorite person who I want to pee-slap.
How do you do that exactly?

Just…spray him across the face with a stream of urine?

Piss all over my hand and then slap him with it.

OK I don’t really know but my stream-of-consciousness anger/cursing is off scale right now.

I will fellate the first man who walks tomorrow
You're in luck because Porn Superstar Gutierrez has been working the count well lately.
Alright, well

Rob Johnson is a particularly useless fuck. In addition to Yuniesky Betancourt.

Had I known this would be the outcome I would have volunteered and fed the homeless instead
It's now hooch o'clock.
Well, that was worth staying up for.
FUCK THIS I'M NEVER WATCHING A SEATTLE RAINIERS GAME AGAIN
Free Jeff Clement!
Time to get completely blitzed.

I am drinking 100 beers, and toasting each one to the Deadly Johnson Assassination Team.

None of Oakland's pitchers could fine the zone

so naturally we managed to lose somehow.

 Also, Rob Johnson for the bullpen. His innacurate arm would fit in there perfectly

At least Washburn pitched like a solid #3 starter. That's something to feel good about.
I feel good about that.

Let’s get the series tomorrow.

Karma's a bitch.

Silva pitches like crap and we find a way to win. Washburn tosses a quality start and we do everything we can to lose.

Ok so we lost a game today that we probably shouldn't have lost

but last night we won a game we probably shouldn’t have won

Winning games you shouldn't win is awesome and losing games you should win blows.
These combinations do not result in us being a playoff team

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