Right-hander Shawn Kelley has progressed in his comeback from a strained oblique and will accompany the team on its next trip. For the first time since the injury, Kelley played catch Friday — throwing for about eight minutes from a distance of about 45 feet.
Making the playoffs pretty much saved baseball here. The defeat of the Yankees in the ALDS was but a cherry on top of the delicious-at-the-time-but-shitty-now sundae of saved baseball.
Rob Johnson exists as part of the delicate cosmogenitalogical catcher balance.
Jeff Clement is a dick! He’s a reckless, arrogant, stupid dick. And Rob Johnson is a pussy. And Kenji Johhima is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn’t appropriate – and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves… because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don’t know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
So who is the likely top overall pitcher that will be available to a team that lost 101 last year but is dramatically improved with a front office that like gets it and is going to win 75ish games this year?
Unfortunately the Nationals have the first overall pick
but because they are poorly run and favor toolsy outfielders, they are likely to take Ackley which would seem to benefit the Mariners in this instance.
Listened to the game while lifting tonight. Hands down the most frustrating game I've listened to/watched this game.
Words are not easily expressing just how pissed off I was and still am. I was politely asked by the gym staff if I would not swear so loudly. I actually said “Fucking Mariners” a little loud.
Watched yesterday ... for some reason not as infuriating as tonight.
It’s probably just that I’m in a sour mood … but … what the fuck. Why is Beluga Tits walking the 9th hitter in the order. I know we need more offense … but fuck. What in the blue fuck.
Please save us, Lowe.
melenious - May 26, 2009
Lowe is getting worked to death.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Lets try strikes today Lowe.
I like strikes.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
GUT!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
GOOOOOOOOOTZ!!!!!!
section331 - May 26, 2009
GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Well that was amazingly nerve-wracking.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
Wow what a run
d0nkey - May 26, 2009
GUT ME FRABKLIN
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Miguel Batista likes to make oatmeal from scratch.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Does he grow his own oats?
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
BJ Upton called Miguel Batista "The Professor"
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
I bet he used the term "Prof" instead.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
MB, Mr. P
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
"Prof" is one syllable
and pretty guttural at that.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
I was going for the rhyming scheme because black people love to rhyme
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Now you hangin' wit Mr. Cooper!
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Huge play, Gutz.
Sinking Away - May 26, 2009
Great play by Gutz.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
Does this set the record for most game threads for a game?
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
Two?
Matthew - May 26, 2009
What?
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Consecutive Game Thread!?
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
Yes
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Yay!
History has been made!
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
I think there are cowbells, too.
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
Does not need more cowbell.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
That is a normal bell.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Just my thoughts.
Cowbell-fine. Bell-stupid. Horn-Fingernails on a blackboard.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
At this rate it can't be long until Lowe's arm explodes again
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
BALLS!
Decatur - May 26, 2009
You fucking weiner Lowe.
Zwakamatsu - May 26, 2009
Where the fuck was that pitch?
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Wow, great time for a walk.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
Oh. And it all comes crashing down.
melenious - May 26, 2009
Not yet it hasn't!
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Now?
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Now it has
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
That was borderline.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
Miguel Batista counts to 100 in pennies
Robert - May 26, 2009
I SAID STRIKES DAMMIT
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
See what happens when he throws strikes?
Lowe knew what he was doing.
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
GG
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Motherfucker
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
Teehee
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Game Over.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
Eileen/Estefania will blame this on Lowe, naturally.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Naturally.
melenious - May 26, 2009
Oh well fuck me.
Zwakamatsu - May 26, 2009
Crap!
Sinking Away - May 26, 2009
Ahahaha fuck us
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
You are the second or third most negative poster on this site.
Robert - May 26, 2009
Miguel Batista is a revelation
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Yeah I fucking hate this team and I wish Mark Lowe and Miguel Batista were both dead
We deserve to be in last place
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
We aren't in last place and this is mostly Batista fault...
Slurvey - May 26, 2009
And Sweeney's.
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
Actually, he probably made the team better today with that Jerry Lewis impression.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
I'm aware of what place we're in I think we deserve to be in last the way we've played this month
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
I think I heard a bus horn as well.
Oh hey, Washburn is in the driver’s seat!
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
Didn't this same thing happen vs SF..
d0nkey - May 26, 2009
No.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
No he was worse.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
You're right.. it wasn't followed by a 2 run HR
d0nkey - May 26, 2009
Yup...
Slurvey - May 26, 2009
Did I mention I miss Shawn Kelley?
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
I'm blameing Sweeney falling down on this one.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
Lowe is so good
coolconman - May 26, 2009
When Shawn Kelley got hurt we were 15-11!
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Any word on his recovery timetable?
Get well Shawn!
Decatur - May 26, 2009
From yesterday
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Fuck you Mike Sweeney.
AlexM - May 26, 2009
Oh, Mariners...
This is going to hurt you way more than it hurts me…
section331 - May 26, 2009
Oh dear...
Slurvey - May 26, 2009
98mph shouldn't be that easy to hit
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Good pitch bad result?
Or easiest 98 MPH heater to hit…
Slurvey - May 26, 2009
Pfft, Morrow has cornered that market.
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
Morrow misses a lot of bats with his fastball
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Two-edged sword.
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
Actually, no.
Missing bats is uniformly good.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Unless you are the Mariners offense.
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
Not for vampire hunters it isn't
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
He's got you there
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Current literature assures me that old conceptions about needing wooden stakes to drive through a vampire's chest
are mistaken.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Correct
you need to tear them into pieces and burn them
seattlebruin - May 26, 2009
It's like Felix!
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
We have work to do...
Slurvey - May 26, 2009
Our trade candidates are slowly losing value.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
How does Miguel Batista's public blowjob in any way effect how Washburn pitched?
abender20 - May 26, 2009
affect.
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Washburn was good though
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Washburn was struggling, but he did OK.
Sinking Away - May 26, 2009
Good enough, I mean
It wasn’t a meltdown
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Alright only 14 more days until the draft
JLC - May 26, 2009
TELEVISED!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Hip hop hooray!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Walking in that run was a real fucking good move
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
WHO'S IN THIS GAMETHREAD TO WATCH GRIFFEY HIT SOME DINGERS???
Robert - May 26, 2009
I saw him hit on sunday.
Shut the Giants fans mouth.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
FUCK ME JOH'S OUT 6 to 8 weeks???????
Decatur - May 26, 2009
No worries, we have Guillermo Quiroz now.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
Oh shit!
I wish this had been posted somewhere!
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Link?
Robert - May 26, 2009
.
Baker
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Any other sources?
Robert - May 26, 2009
God.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
I'm just wondering.
My computer is running slow tonight. No need to get defensive.
Robert - May 26, 2009
I missed and am expressing my dismay at learning the news.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Not nessicarly a bad thing. Johnson will prove he can't hit and someone else can play everyday.
Fun!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Broken bone = 4 weeks minimum.
Sinking Away - May 26, 2009
WE'RE FUCKIN RUINED
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
I'm in awe, this is ridiculous
It’s the fucking A’s
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
The A's were widely considered to be better than us just 6 weeks ago.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
More detrimental to baseball in seattle:
Griffey’s catch 14 years ago today or Randy in the 11th inning of Game 5 of the ALDS?
Robert - May 26, 2009
Jr's catch.
Duh.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
But Randy put us within 3 outs of losing baseball in Seattle.
Robert - May 26, 2009
Untrue.
Making the playoffs pretty much saved baseball here. The defeat of the Yankees in the ALDS was but a cherry on top of the delicious-at-the-time-but-shitty-now sundae of saved baseball.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
I attended the game after!
Poochie - May 27, 2009
Great stadium.
AlexM - May 26, 2009
Fuck this stadium.
Zwakamatsu - May 26, 2009
Sweet ballpark
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Shouldn't this game be tied?
Or did I imagine an unathletic piece of shit gritty white guy faceplanting on a sure chance to score?
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
I'm amazed at how un-surprised I am that that may cost us the game
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Do we get to blame this on Sweeny yet?
d0nkey - May 26, 2009
See above
And yes, we always get to blame sweeney
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Our team sure is getting injured a lot.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
The AT&T more bars ad campaign is the signal most subliminal thing in history
Robert - May 26, 2009
Evidently
JLC - May 26, 2009
I'm not sure who to rec here.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Robert has like 20 gillion more recs than I do
JLC - May 26, 2009
so, what exactly happened while I was on the phone?
causing the multiple runs to score?
msb - May 26, 2009
Batista loading the bases.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Wow, this game went to shit pretty fast.
Fin - May 26, 2009
We aren't there yet. It's still Oakland.
Sinking Away - May 26, 2009
Balentien/Johnson/Gutierrez against a righty in the ninth!
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Win.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
They should PH Griffey
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Felix
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Sonnanstein.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Edgar
Wait, that’s not how we’re playing?
Robert Lintott - May 26, 2009
I HEARD THAT SIMS!
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
Oh boy! We almost heard Dave Sims swearing.
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Although I think he was saying "freaking", directly after "Oh brother".
abender20 - May 26, 2009
FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
BRING ON QUIZNOS
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
I really hope that they pinch hit Endy for Rob Johnson in the 9th
Endy’s not a very good hitter either but I feel so much more confident with him at the plate it’s ridiculous
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Rob Johnson doubled in his last at-bat. He's hot.
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Know who else is?
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
You people are all philistines.
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Too bad somebody doesn't have a better picture of Clement
Kermit. - May 26, 2009
What are you talking about?
This is an amazing picture of him. Look into those eyes!
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
There are better treatments of Clement's image.
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Subtle
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
I'm bitter
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Not after you Just For Men'd his beard
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Maybe something with even a little more grandeur
Kermit. - May 26, 2009
Every time I see this, I think of Clark the Canadian goalie.
Not sure why, but I do.
Robert Lintott - May 26, 2009
See the broadcasters were right. With everyday at bats he is going ot heat up!
Boy oh boy and the catchers ERA! Exciting player!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Over the last two weeks Endy has the team's worst OSwing% and second lowest ZSwing%!
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Oh I'm aware he's been terrible.... but it's fuckin' Rob Johnson. Anything is better than that
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
My favorite part of these games is watching Geoff Baker cover them.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
The Padres rallied again and nearly won another game in their last at bat
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
So they lost, is what you're saying?
Matthew - May 26, 2009
They were down 6-0 in the eighth and lost 6-5 with the tying run on third
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
So they lost.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Dramatically!
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Based on my experience, I assume everything they do is dramatic.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Everything they do is either dramatic or like watching weeds bloom
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Are peonies weeds?
Because if so, it was dramatic!
Matthew - May 26, 2009
The ants really lend to the excitement
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Ugly chaparral weeds
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
I can't believe they won ten in a row in May and were still 7 games back.
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Double plays tonight for San Diego were turned by Eckstein, Burke, and Edgar Gonzalez
abender20 - May 26, 2009
That division is not over because Manny Ramirez did roids!
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Yes Dave but Cleveland has a significantly better offense than we do
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
CAN I HERE A GRIFFEY???
Robert - May 26, 2009
GRIFFEY!!!
Robert - May 26, 2009
PRAISE GRIFFEY!!!
Robert - May 26, 2009
*Hymn*
Robert - May 26, 2009
Can we have Russ Springer please?
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
We have enough problems in our bullpen already.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
I meant against us.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Not for us.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Oh.
Well, you could have been more clear.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
True.
Sorry.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Best people about to come up, ever.
melenious - May 26, 2009
Hmm....
It would be quite fascinating to leave the month of May in last place after coming into it in first.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
Shit
Abreu hit a home run.
Wilder. - May 26, 2009
I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but we're not playing Ervin Santana and the Angels tonight.
We’re currently facing the Athletics.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Now would be a good time to see that power Wlad!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Power miss!
AlexM - May 26, 2009
I would like to see Wlad swing so hard that it knocks Rob Johnson into death
JLC - May 26, 2009
oooooooooh so close
JLC - May 26, 2009
Sigh.
This one’s gonna hurt me
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Oh boy.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Balentien pretty much didn't have a chance against that borderline stuff
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Well fuck you Wakamatsu
I don’t want to see Rob Johnson hit right now
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Well, you won't.
msb - May 26, 2009
Good call, he decided to strike out looking on a pitch near the heart of the plate
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Whoosh!
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
But here is the question…. if Rob Johnson batted from the left side could you tell he wasn’t a switch hitter?
Sinking Away - May 26, 2009
Hurry up.
My MLB.TV is crapping out.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
Rob johnson chews?
Must be the girliest tobacco ever
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Big League chew.
msb - May 26, 2009
Cherry flavored Skoal Bandits
Kermit. - May 26, 2009
It's actually just matted and pressed ball, ass and taint pubes.
Cleanses the palette.
Jordan of Boise - May 26, 2009
The A's are using a American Idol runner up as a post game attraction
Robert - May 26, 2009
Jordin Sparks won
Snowman1025 - May 26, 2009
...Rob...hooray...
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
That pitch was right down the middle and a fastball and it froze him.
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
And didn't move very much
abender20 - May 26, 2009
LET'S GO GUTZ!
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Rob is so good at calling pitches that he knew that was a strike and just walked away without swinging!
Robert Lintott - May 26, 2009
If I'm not a underdog I am going to convince myself that I am cause, other wise I'm no good...
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Well that's a good pitch to let go by with 2 strikes down a run in the 9th inning
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Does anyone else here spend sleepless nights contemplating the reason behind the existence of Rob Johnson?
JLC - May 26, 2009
Yes.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Want to add me on Facebook?
JLC - May 26, 2009
Many many nights.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
I think about boobs
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
And cranberry juice
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
What're you on your period?
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Hahaha
I need to watch that one again
tootthekazoo - May 26, 2009
Mr. French?
Kermit. - May 26, 2009
A life where I burn making wee isn't a life worth living
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Supposedly good for prostate health!
abender20 - May 26, 2009
God that's disgusting
JLC - May 26, 2009
Oops, that was meant for the cranberry juice comment
JLC - May 26, 2009
Rob Johnson exists as part of the delicate cosmogenitalogical catcher balance.
Jeff Clement is a dick! He’s a reckless, arrogant, stupid dick. And Rob Johnson is a pussy. And Kenji Johhima is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn’t appropriate – and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves… because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don’t know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
Jordan of Boise - May 26, 2009
Rec'd for Team America
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Please just don't strike out Gutz
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Hey hey!
Contact!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
The 82 people in Oakland are louder than a full Safeco.
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
We need a mosquito farting horn giveaway night
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
.
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
It's not that mosquitos are farting, so much as mosquitoes are being farted
Possibly by someone who had their ass end up in some swampwater.
Jordan of Boise - May 26, 2009
All 800 people are on their feet
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
I blame my mid-week drinking entirely on Rob Johnson
melenious - May 26, 2009
AHAHAHAHA
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Another great game.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
We wo-
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Hahahahahaha. We lost a game because
an old man tripped and fell and an overpaid old reliever can’t throw strikes.
AlexM - May 26, 2009
Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 Seattle Mariners
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
God I hate our team
I’m more pissed right now than I have been at any other point in the season
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Go knock over a minimart
abender20 - May 26, 2009
You say that about once a game, Griffin.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
I've never made that statement before.
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Unless you're talking about hating our team, than yes you're correct
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
More the general sentiment than specific phrase.
I’m getting to the eveyrthing is amusing phase of the grieving process.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
I'm envious of you.
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Perhaps you will tell us more about it?
Robert - May 26, 2009
What would you like to know
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
I'll got time so don't try to rush it.
Robert - May 26, 2009
The anger has died down a bit now, you might be too late
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
So who is gonna be called out today is it Lowe or Batista...
Lowe will take the heat for Batista jam so I guess Lowe… If Lowe is off the roster before Batista though I will strangle a small kitten.
Slurvey - May 26, 2009
SWEENEY!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Are there large kittens?
Mariner John - May 26, 2009
Lash out on Tits Wak!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
I blame the face-plant and the walks.
Sinking Away - May 26, 2009
Well at least our 1st round pick will be protected
JLC - May 26, 2009
Dave cracks me up "... as the Mariners BLOW a three run lead".
As a HOF announcer, I’m fully expecting him to blow up and call it like he means it any day now
Kermit. - May 26, 2009
A friend of mine works for FSN.
Apparently Sims is very cynical off the air about the teams play.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
I'd like to hear that one too, but I meant Dave Niehaus on the radio. I keep forgetting there's two Daves now
Kermit. - May 26, 2009
I thought he was gonna say "the Mariners BLOW."
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Thanks Miguel.
msb - May 26, 2009
Thanks Mike.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Blowers 3 runs and 3-6 hitting WRISP is not a good night of offense.
AlexM - May 26, 2009
That game reminded me that E-40 is coming to a local casino next month
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
TELL ME WHEN TO GO
to the casino. I’d like to see that in person.
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Jesus Christ had dreads, so shake'em. I ain't got none but I'm plannin on growin some.
Imagine all the Hebrews goin dumb, dancin on top of chariots and turnin tight ones.
abender20 - May 26, 2009
It would appear that the billboard lied to me
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Only if you ghostride the whip there
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Hahahaha he's fallen that far? Like those performers a the Emerald queen who are older than my parents?
Decatur - May 26, 2009
The casinos down here have mad amounts of money
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
And hyphy ain't free
abender20 - May 26, 2009
I guess that's a good point.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
2 Live Crew is playing in North Park on June 4.
But they have nothing on E-40, if you ask me.
Teej - May 26, 2009
Hope Sweeney goes on the DL
That’d be the only positive I take from this game
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
I don't want him to retire until all the frustrating injuries cause him to explosively question his faith in Jesus Christ
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Think we're getting close to that point
After hurting your back while rolling around third base and costing your team the game, you should be questioning your existence
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
The fact that he's on a Major League team ensures that this never happens.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
Prospects on the way!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Draft picks on the way!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
I blame Mike Sweeney.
With honorable blame going to Rob Johnson.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
It seems like a stretch to blame even Rob Johnson tonight
And I hate him
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Maybe Batista deserves more blame tonight.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
Blame
Batista
Lowe
Sweeney
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Sounds about right.
Fair enough.
Heydude - May 26, 2009
So who is the likely top overall pitcher that will be available to a team that lost 101 last year but is dramatically improved with a front office that like gets it and is going to win 75ish games this year?
Robert - May 26, 2009
I would enjoy making sausages out of your intestinal lining, Bill Krueger.
Shut the fuck up
Matthew - May 26, 2009
What did he say
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
He opened his mouth
That’s all you need.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Mmmmmm, delicous Kreuger sausages
Hope they don’t taste like shit
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Yeah.
I couldn’t have put that into words any better.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
LLLJ
Robert - May 26, 2009
Anyone else think it's bullshit Sweeney said he hurt the back sliding into second
Like he’s using it as an excuse for looking like a dipshit?
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
It looked to me like he hurt his back on the slide.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
No.
Because it looked like he jammed it then.
msb - May 26, 2009
I'm sure he will go on the DL just to cement the alibi
abender20 - May 26, 2009
Will his agent be involved?
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Almost definitely. Mike Sweeney is certainly the type of guy to take no responsibility for his actions,
to the point that he will retire just to avoid the humiliation of tripping.
abender20 - May 26, 2009
I'd be surprised if he DIDN'T hurt anything on that slide.
ThundaPC - May 26, 2009
I'm sure the tumble at third didn't help.
But I believe he tweaked it at second.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
He is 35 and has been injured for most of the past 5 years.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Back related injuries.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Well hopefully this is the last straw
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Mike Sweeney is a filthy liar
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
He's a good standup christian man who is a leader in the clubhouse
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Nah he's a flopper
JLC - May 26, 2009
Well
Ichiro has a 20 game hitting streak.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
I was just really hoping it would take a couple more months to set in that we aren't going to contend this year
Would make my Summer more enjoyable
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Probably aren't going to contend, I should say
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
PLEASE GO 1 TO 10 MORE GAMES ABOVE 500 AND STAY THAT WAY BEFORE SEPTEMBER.
Robert - May 26, 2009
Fuck it.
I’m going to eat some motherfucking candy.
katal - May 26, 2009
rec'd for fuck-it-bucket
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Good call.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Bill Krueger gave us 3 checks after a loss?
Heydude - May 26, 2009
Well if none of the checks were about winning or the bullpen not sucking than that makes sense
gregrabble - May 26, 2009
Mariner Melee's Keys to the game
Score more runs than the other team
Maintain the lead
Celebrate the win
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
I can't wait until the draft gets here and it somehows ends up being horribly disappointing
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Im hoping for another reliever
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
You say somehows like there's not a really easy way for it to be horribly disappointing.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
I am excited about Ackley!
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Funny Story!
Robert - May 26, 2009
You're thinking of the initial disappointment we go into the draft being aware of
I am predicting entirely new, deeper and darker depths of disappointment.
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Ackley is going to be awesome.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Be prepared to be devasted sir
Not because he won’t be awesome, but because we won’t draft him
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
You lie.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Or I'm a Seattle sports fan
I’ve seen this story before
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Is that you ec?
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
If we don't draft Ackley we better get Tyler Matzek or Tanner Scheppers.
Period.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Scheppers are win inevitably fall off
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
That's not a cogent thought
abender20 - May 26, 2009
It's a somewhat appropriate typo though
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Yeah what?
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Wow
arm will
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
There ya go
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Good heavens
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Buh?
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Bahahahahahahahahahaha
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
I just hope one of them falls to us
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
We pick second.
Are you referring to our other first round pick?
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
No I am saying that I think all of them will be picked before we get our chance to draft our first pick
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
...
…
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
They're very talented players.
It’s reasonable to worry that they won’t be available by the time our pick comes around.
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
The Nats got a super 1st pick
They get to pick 5 players. Selig felt bad for them
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
This is the kind of thing I'm talking about
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Oh Grant Green wouldn't be bad either
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Umm.....
Yes. He would.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
He must be playing poorly.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
I don't think it's particularly wise to be talking about draft picks if you haven't been paying any attention to it
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
Tanner Scheppers would be a really big reach.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Who do you want at pick 2?
If you can’t have Ackley.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Strasburg
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
That is obviously not a choice.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Well
We can’t have Ackley
Which means Ackley is off the board
We have the second pick
So Ackley went first
And Strasburg is available
QED
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Rec'd for use of QED and because I haven't given one in a while
JLC - May 26, 2009
QED was a strange & interesting tv series.
msb - May 26, 2009
Or it means Ackley has injured himself
Or someone in the front office thought they saw something special in a different player..
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Strasburg and Ackley are consensus #1 and #2
There’s no consensus #3 pick.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Tate seems popular.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Reach.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Also White.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Poor season.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
He's still a better call than Scheppers or Matzek
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
He's still a top-10, of course.
I like Matzek alot from what I’ve (polish and whatnot), but White’s obviously a safer choice.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Not a top two pick.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
So we all agree that we're taking Strasburg with the number two pick right?
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
Seems like a no-brainer
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Yes.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
With the number one
JLC - May 26, 2009
Unfortunately the Nationals have the first overall pick
but because they are poorly run and favor toolsy outfielders, they are likely to take Ackley which would seem to benefit the Mariners in this instance.
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Or maybe they will forget to draft a first pick
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
They are quite poorly run!
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
Indeed!
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
Hope their clock runs out
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Vikings already did it
Poochie - May 27, 2009
We can trade the Nats for the number one pick...
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Its Strasburg then a big dropoff, then Ackley and a big dropoff
Choice is obvious you’d think
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
Our outfield depth is about to get as crowded as 1B depth
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Irrelevent.
Draft the best player.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
I know
I was observing.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Misunderstanding.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Thats okay.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
That's a poor reason to take a less talented selection.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Really really really really really poor.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
This is another comment for emphasis about how poor of an idea that is.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
We are going to Draft Ackely.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
But...but....but...
Isn’t this like the NFL draft?
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
I'm almost with you but I'm still not quite convinced
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
And there's no consensus #3 pick because no one else is good enough to warrant using such a high pick on
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Incidentally BA has Scheppers and Matzek going #12 and #13 respectively in mock draft 1
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
Jeez.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
I was reading Prospect Insider's mock draft.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
I think I can spot your mistake here.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
I'll learn.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Please tell me you had to pay for that
Poochie - May 27, 2009
We still have an inning to score!
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
Where the fuck is Cleto?!
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
He is on an island in the Carribean
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
Did he lie about his age, or drop his passport in the water?
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
On a boat?
Brian Floyd - May 26, 2009
No
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
Vacationing while your employer is in the midst of hard times seems like it bodes poorly for his team chemistry potential
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Hispanic people are bad for team chemistry anyway
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
I thought is was anyone who wasn't white.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
You're a goddamn racist
Graham MacAree - May 26, 2009
Every single one of them is a complete retard
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Albert Pujols is white where it matters
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Goodness I hope all of the SBN executives are crackers
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
I bet them is with the way theys always tryin ta bring us down
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
obviously not his cock amirite
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
The average caucasian penis is of perfectly acceptable length and circumference
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
SSS
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
You missed the 'cauc'
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Oh hey an inadvertent penis joke in a subthread of penis jokes
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
I thought you were trying to avoid more of these.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
At least this one isn't about my penis
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
We can change that ;)
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
You must be referring to your own penis
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
They are also very lovable
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
All retards are lovable until you have to spend all your time caring for them
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Damn right they are.
royalcurve - May 26, 2009
Giving them a cage to sleep in and a pack of twinkies each day doesn't seem terribly hard
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
Unfortunately, the poor conditions in many Latin American countries make it difficult for many to receive access to a good education
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Perhaps that is why they suck at talking walks.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
Do teams try hard enough to hammer "take a walk" into the kids' heads at their Latin baseball acadamies?
Decatur - May 26, 2009
I guarantee that we will win this game
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
Maybe it's just me but when people say things like this it makes my blood boil
Robert - May 26, 2009
Oh a Washburn excuse.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Wladimir Balentien pronounces balloon "Ball-on"
Matthew - May 26, 2009
What a fucking dumbass
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
If he spit his gum out he might be able to talk.
Mariner Melee - May 26, 2009
Yeah you sumbitch yer livin in america now so speak anglish motherfucker
Aaron Campeau - May 26, 2009
In what context was Wladimir Balentien talking about balloons?
Jeff Sullivan - May 26, 2009
He found a balloon machine in the bathroom.
Decatur - May 26, 2009
Bowl of Condoms?
Slurvey - May 26, 2009
They are surprisingly difficult to inflate, however.
msb - May 26, 2009
He was asked what his favorite birthday present ever was.
Matthew - May 26, 2009
I really wish he had said dirt instead
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
or mud*
OlSalty - May 26, 2009
Paddles for his raft
Kermit. - May 26, 2009
your statement is factually inaccurate as generally you could simply fly from Curacao to your desired destination.
Unless you’re a dumbass and get your passport wet.
Mariner John - May 26, 2009
The goddamn poories don't belong on planes
Dewey N - May 26, 2009
Listened to the game while lifting tonight. Hands down the most frustrating game I've listened to/watched this game.
Words are not easily expressing just how pissed off I was and still am. I was politely asked by the gym staff if I would not swear so loudly. I actually said “Fucking Mariners” a little loud.
But seriously … FUCKING MARINERS.
Seattle Rodiners - May 26, 2009
That's "this year"
Seattle Rodiners - May 26, 2009
Should have enjoyed yesterday's spectacular.
Paytheline - May 26, 2009
Watched yesterday ... for some reason not as infuriating as tonight.
It’s probably just that I’m in a sour mood … but … what the fuck. Why is Beluga Tits walking the 9th hitter in the order. I know we need more offense … but fuck. What in the blue fuck.
Seattle Rodiners - May 26, 2009
Don't have a TV right now ... can anyone tell me what Wak said post-game?
Seattle Rodiners - May 26, 2009
To fathom a guess, he said what I said:
Jordan of Boise - May 26, 2009
I don'theyt recall seeing it --
they did appear to have gotten on the buses pretty quickly, to head back to SF
msb - May 26, 2009
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