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Lookout Landing

5/29: Open Game Thread, Part 2

So Juan Rivera can go play in traffic.

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Well now Branyan will have to hit his homers extra far
So Rivera is having a nice game.
FUCK THAT BOLOGNE AND CHEESE
That'll make web gems

F-k it..

bahahahahahahahahaha
THAT SEQUENCE WAS BACKWARDS
FUCK YEAH..THAT IS AWESOME
HAHAHA CAN'T FUCKING BRING THAT ONE BACK CAN YOU BITCH

MOTHER FUCKER

BAHAHAH SUCK IT FUCKER!
I hear there's a lot of traffic in Southern California.
Mini-redemption.
BWAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAH

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FUCK YOU RIVERA
Fucking amazing!
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WTF IS GOING ON??????
Jeez almost twice.
If he had caught that I would have slit his nutsack open.
I would have used an immersion blender on it.
AINT CATCHEN THAT ONE BITCH
GAH! GAH! GAH! JOSE FUCKING LOPEZ!!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF RIVERA!
I would have shit my pants if he had caught that one too
SI SE PUEDE JOSE!
I would have liked to see Branyan get an oppo HR
If I ever love Lopez for doing anything for this team

It’s for doing that to Juan Rivera

Only if Rivera had torn his achilles on that jump attempt.
What a pretty thought.
I am not a nice person.
Nor am I.
It is important for people to be open to the possibiltiy that they are not nice.
I am nice to some people.

Others make me want to go to sleep and never wake up.

You should put them in a deep enough sleep to never wake up.
Well said. That's exactly the play we needed there.
FUCKING SHIT
And that one will

FLY AWAY!

Him catching that would have been among the most improbable achievements in baseball history
It would be on every highlight reel for the next 20 years and we would see it at every day forever.
And as long as we win this game, that would be fine with me
I actually kind of wish he had caught that.
Me too..especially that one..even more amazing of a catch.
That would seriously be one of the most amazing things I've ever seen
He was so close!
The best part is Angel fans didn't even get a chance to feel happy about the first one because the second one just made them mad
Angels fans were too busy doing the wave to notice that Rivera even caught the first one
Seriously, that's all Angels fans do is try to start the wave.

I want to punch them. ALL OF THEM.

Have you been to Safeco?
Safeco likes the wave, but it is nowhere near that bad*

*except possibly for little league sundays.

Not recently

actually, come to think of it, I’ve been to more games at Angel Stadium than I have been to at Safeco (what…?)

Some of them squeal
LLLJ
You can hear them on the damn television
I doubt some people will get this joke and that's unfortunate
I just got it now. ugh
I thought you only punched mascots
A donkey punch is a punch
I dunno

my girlfriend is relatively quiet.

This is not true

they also boo people who pop beach balls.

And start "here we go Angels" chants when the Angels are in the field
In general the timing of all chants at Angels stadium

are not very good.

For about 30 seconds I felt love for Jose Lopez
JOSE LOPEZ IS AWESOME
I hope abender isn't here to post the text I sent him an hour an a half ago
I hate that I'm left out of the sb text circle
Being in circles isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

Though I’m sure bruin sent a great text.

We can fix this!
Lopez should give half of his home run to Russ.
Couldn't catch that, fuckface.
Screw you Rivera.

Go Lopez!

I love the guy in the bullpen at the table after he missed the 2nd one..put his head in his hands. HAHA
Hahahahha Fuck you Juan Rivera!
Take a shower you LACKEY!
You sure told him.
Perhaps you should take a less Lackeydaisical approach to punning
Welcome to the big leagues, son.
Inner circle for you!
Of all the ways that cliques could be formed, good puns around athlete names would have been low on my list of guesses.
And yet...
Jose Lopez hit a home run tonight.
I missed it

What did Rivera do?

Brought a HR back

Then almsot brought the second one back..

Robbed Branyan, then came within inches of robbing Loafie on the next play
Not just inches

It hit his glove.

Juan Rivera robbed the wrong homerun.
That was one of the worst at-bats of all time
I will also not nuke that guy.
What a triumphant beard.
Nice 'stache.
Swing Lowe sweet Chariot

Come to get us a 1-2-3 inning…

This one was slightly better but not great
I really wish Branyan had red hair so we could call him rusty.
Awwww can we anyway?

Put that on possible dog name list

We call him Rusty "ironically"
Do I do anything any other way?
You have sex with Gutierrez non-ironically.
I'm into his beard ironically.
So many levels.
Now he just needs to do that three more times and everything's even
I like when you jump, Russell.
Surprising high.
Sexy Russ with the defence.
What, now one play in a row isn't good enough

They have to make two, dont’ mind though..

Mark Lowe'd bitches!
Now that's the Lowe I enjoy

Even if he did give up 2 line drives

1-2-3 inning.

How about that.

I know right?

Lowe is so more enjoyable when he doesn’t suck.

Well he can suck a different way and still be enjoyable.
I think Mark Lowe is straight
As a slider.
So true, I want innings like this out of him.

But I’ve learned not to expect them.

He did just give up two line drives
His line drive rate is pretty high actually.
I would have prefered strike outs, but with this team, I've got low standards sometimes.
A line drive is just about the worst possible result for a pitcher.
Like I said, low standards.
When your standards cannot get any lower, you don't have "low standards" you have "no standards"
I'm just happy he went 1-2-3.
Isn't it like -.134 or something.
Sounds about right.
Hopefully tonight

Really is a start of a New Day, a new way for the Ms…

Yes

Don’t trade bedard yet.

the vargas way?
You know, I just don't miss Brandon Morrow like I thought I might.
Me neither

MMMMMMMArdsma!

Shawn Kelley needs to get out of my dreams and in front of my eyes
And also into your car...
Damn you for beating me to it
I'm a helper!
Now that's a spicy meatball.
I miss his starts.
I miss his curveball.
Palmer was "very, very impressive"?

He gave up five runs in five innings.

He won! So he must've pitched well.
Gave Palmer his first loss of the season.
Physioc just asked fans to vote Joe Saunders

into the all star game.

I hate that ding dong.
That's so dumb, he's not even good.
Angels fans think he is great
Those retards will do it, too
How do you vote for a pitcher?
That's what I was thinking, but based on the responses I decided to hold my tongue in case I was wrong somehow
You and your facts.
It makes it all the more hilarious!
LookoutLanding urges all Mariner fans to vote Lee Tinsley in as the AL first base coach.
That's what makes them retards
I just want everyone to know

I voted for Manny!

You can't vote for a dead person!
Well I guess you can but he's unlikely to play
You're getting Saunders and Adenhart confused

Joe Saunders – dead classmates, shot by bullets
Nick Adenhart – dead, hit by drunk driver

He makes you stupid
Bullpen has not been a problem for Wakamatsu

/Rex Hudler

Beltre got Beltre'd
Dang it FIggins...
You know how your season is going

WHen DAve says the bottom of the 9th is “Hang on time” when you’re up 3…

He's said that for years
I know

And it’s been true for year.s…

Guerrero, Hunter and Rivera?

Yipes.

The DA!
He's going to hand down some judgment!*
  • this is what I expect someone like Dave Sims to say. I am aware that this would be more appropriate for a person nicknamed The Judge.
He's gonna prosecute these pitchers!

eh….

Right, and it's a pitcher named it.

But you get the idea.

Way to cover your ass
I am learning not to trust other people in the slightest.
It cripples your jokes
I'm more of a set up guy than a closer anyways.
I'm going to call you Reitsma
I don't want a Mariners backpack....

Stupid radio ads…

Aaaaaaaaaand we're even
MICHAEL JORDAN IS OUR RIGHT FIELDER
ICHI - FUCKIN - RO
God I love that guy...

Why did we move him out of RF again?

Because he's good enough to play center and we needed a center fielder.
He is

But dude is made for right…

What?
He's nautrally a great RFer

I mean that..

And those skills are non-transferable to CF?
Of course they are

But he’s just better playing RF for some reason…

RF is a whole hell of a lot easier to play?
How are you measuring him being better in RF?
I think he's made for outfield, but it doesn't matter anymore now that we have Gutz.
Because CF is more valuable.
Because it looked better on MLB.tv
Ha

I like that one…

TAKE THAT, JUAN!
AARDSMA EXPRESS!!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Wow Aardsma's flyballs are more terrifying than Lowe's line drives.
Beltre!

Two quick outs, awesome!

Sims did not sound sure about the possibility of Ichiro catching that.
I can't believe no one else is as impressed by that catch as I was.
I am. I'm just playing it close to the chest.
ICHIRO DIDN'T NEED A FOOTSTOOL FOR THAT ONE, RIVERA
Good grief, Aardsma!
Dave got the call wrong

He didnt’ think it was caught, ha…

I wasn;t sure either.

Ichiro is too cool.

I meant the second out

He said it was foul and then he was like “Wait, Beltre caught it?”

Hunter's bunt attempt was also stupid
I hate that butthole.
I could see a Kendrick walk-off here
Please throw strikes, lets not make this a nailbiter
WOHOOOOOOOO KEEP IT SCARY AARDSMA!
Aardsma's trying to pull a Morrow.
This is getting scary.
WOHOOOO GAME IS NOW VERY SCARY!
I'm reading this like a cartoon ghost and finding it quite amusing.
Ugh. Napoli now? NOOOOOOOOO
Aardsma woah indeed
Welcome to the ministry of silly walks!
It's funny how this nickname mostly went away when we started losing.
It started to hurt.
It's better shorted to The Ministry.
Hoodoo on Napoli! Hoodoo on Napoli!
Napoli always strikes out in these situations, so thats whats gonna happen,
Oh shit he does?

Well that’s a relief

Apparently.

Or at least that time.

Looks like we had nothing to worry about!
I like this exchange
Aardsma is the Mariner's very own Crypt Keeper
The DA is calling for the death penalty right here!
MARINERS WIN!

Two in a row…

SMALLER
Whatever

it’s only 33 pixels too tall and the thread is over

I'll remember that

For the next win…tomorrow….

Nap, SIT THE %%^*&*( DOWN.
STRIKE 3, GAME OVER!
MARINERS WIN!

HOLY FUCK BACK TO BACK WINS!

THE DA!!!!!!!!!!
Siddown you fucking twats!
Yep, that pitch was perfect
I am going to draw a picture of it and put it on my pillow tonight.
WOO AARDSMA
TAKE A SHIT SHOWER, NAPOLI!
HAHAHAHAH YOU DUMBFUCK WHY'D YOU CHASE THAT!
First back to back wins..

Since againt the Angels, a month ago…

We've got a freaking winning streak going!

2

Is Ichiro's hitting streak still going?
He is at 22 games
Yes, he was 2 for 5....
Lackey is like death against the Ms?

Nice one Dave…

Aardsma gives me a lady boner

Seriously. He fucking rocks.

I think there are porns about that.
I know for a fact that there are.
There may be

But I maintain my position here…
Which is upright and Puritan, of course.

Crypt Keeper comes through!
Vargas to 2-0

Lackey drops to 1-1 and Aardsma with save #7…

Beltre with RBI #20!!

WOOOOOO

I'm really liking Vargas.
If Vargas is better than Putz then oh my fuck.
It would be like the Mets

To misjudge Talent…

He's been more valuable this year!
Charming, Endy. Charming.
Endy Chavez post-game interviews are excellent
beisbol has been belly belly guud to endy
Did Angie just propose batting Endy Chavez at leadoff and putting Ichiro in the three hole?
Well, the bottom of the line-up did very well tonight.

No real point in having Yuseless batting 2nd.

You know the economy is bad

When you get drug addict recovery ads during Ms games…

On the radio

And not nonprofit either ,some Seattle Hospital..

Mariners fans are their target audience?

Makes sense

Uh, Shick Schadel?

They’ve been advertising during M’s games for at least five years.

I guess I usually dont' listen online

So I get the local Portland ads but I’m down in Bend this weekend…

Schick Shadel.

It’s been on for years.

And what does drug rehab have to do with a poor economy?
That they can't sell the ads

To anyone else maybe…

I...
My thoughts exactly
I don't know

It’s a Firday night, I’m tired, kind of drunk, just thinking via the blog…

Maybe you should call Shick Schadel
Cocaine?
They are good for all.
I don't care if you don't like me, you're my hero
Nice..

Nah just two Red Hooks after work, nothing serious…

If you got drunk off of two beers that's a different kind of problem.
Oh yeah

There was the shot first, and I’m just kind of buzzed, I’ll stop now…

You could just check out their ad On Demand.
That's just Schick Shadel

Those have been around for years

I forgot Vlad was in the lineup.
Probably won't be the last time given the way his career is headed
I wish ESPN would stop talking about Strasburg

it’s starting to depress me

It's ok. He's no good anymore.

Gave up 2 runs today.

Wait Strasburg was pitching in Irvine on my day off and I didn't go?

oops

Biggest flop ever.

Mark my words.

Pitman's reaction to the game ...

“are the Mariners buyers or sellers?”

Hopefully, we are waiting until after this series.

And we’re waiting for the phone to ring in the FO.

I think he may overvalue our trade chips.
Heh.

“I think they should trade some bats to fill the holes in the bullpen”—Caller.

I loved that one! We gotta protect those runs! That our bats make! But where did the bats go!

It’s only like 1 bat anyway, I don’t know what that guy was talking about

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannd, Shannon brings a refreshing dose of reality to the conversation.
Fan Pulse Question: Who is your Favorite Lefty?
Vargas – 31%
Bedard – 30%
Washburn – 26%
RRS – 10%
Olson – 3%
:(

People are stupid

Result based!

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