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Lookout Landing

5/4: Open Game Thread, Part 2

BOOM MOTHERUCKERS.

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WE ARE MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES
We are going to get shot by the special forces?
Come onnnnnnnn bendy bendy bendy bendy bendy.
WE'RE ON A BOAT
This meme can't die soon enough
Wholeheartedly agreed

fuck boats.

That song is funny but repetitiveness has ruined it for me
I don't think it is a meme as much as it is a slogan.

Sure beats “A New Day, A New Way”

Mike Salk was pushing "Wakamojo" as the new catchphrase.
No, that was Brock Huard

He wanted a new “brand image” for the band.

Oops I mean...

For the team, not band!

I'd like to keep it around, at least for a little while longer.
Beltre eats that shit up
I'm glad Beltre is such an amazing fielder
I wish the camera behind home plate had stayed broken.

That’s a retarded angle.

KING AWESOME
5 out of 8 pitches in that AB were offspeed
Good

This team eats fastballs and poops them into the seats.

You know what's awesome?

My latest worry has been “Even if we win the World Series, we’ll lose Bedard and Beltre to free agency.”

Even though I’m getting way ahead of myself, it’s still the best worry ever.

Derek Jeter just made an amusing error
I don't even understand this

I have made a conscious decision to not go to the game on Friday, the game on Sunday, and now tonight’s game. I’m beginning to think that my canceled intentions of attending M’s games is good luck for the team

Why would you not want to go to Felix Day?

And don’t you dare say 24.

Without getting too LLLJ,

My child has a pretty bad cough and I didn’t want to make it worse by sitting in the stadium with the weather like it is

Ah, sucks. Sorry.
Ah, no biggie

Friday and Sunday are still inexcusable. Sec108 knows about my moronic ways

As a fan, why wouldn't you go?
Dude, the stadium looks pretty empty.

I really wish I could’ve gone today too.

Fewer than 17,000
My nephew & his CWU buds went sunday, started inthe bleachers and ended up behind the 3rd base dugout ...
You know what I think would be a sweet M's uniform design.

If they used their present day logos with the vintage colors.

Bring back the trident!
I don't know, not quite what I was thinking

Basically just have the same jerseys and stuff that they have now, but instead of dark blue and teal/green, have them be yellow and royal blue.

I'm really wanting a Blue hat with the yellow "S"
I wanted one of those giveaway Rainiers hats from Turn Back The Clock night
I love mine.

If only because, for once, there’s no logo plastered on the back of my cap.

Felix strike % declining
Lopez looks high
TADSF:LSDLJT:OIEADF
I love that Felix seems to be shaking Kenji off a lot tonight to throw offspeed stuff
I have a question

I don’t follow the M’s super closely, but I have a question that has probably already been answered somewhere on this site, but I can’t find it, and I don’t want to crowd up your guys’ fan-post area, so if somebody could just answer it here, I’d really appreciated it.

Why isn’t Wladimir Balentien getting very many ABs, from what I’ve seen he seems to be doing pretty well, or am I mistaken? Is Endy Chavez crowding his spot?

Pretty much. The team really likes Endy's defense and both him and Mike Sweeney (who Wlad would be playing over at DH) have been decent with the bat as well.
Endy is sort of crowding his spot.

But Endy plays better defense and Balentien struggles against righties and offspeed pithces, I believe.

Endy started the year hot and his defense has been outstanding.

Hence, it’s been tough taking him out of the lineup.

And even if Wlad is hitting well, it isn’t like he’s hitting so well that he’s forcing Wakamatsu to put him in.

Combo of Griffey and Chavez are hurting his playing time
Wlad is looking improved both offensively and defensively.

When Endy cools off, which he is well on his way to doing, I expect Wlad will play more

He's been cooled off for a while, so it may not be much longer.
Thanks, everybody

I think I agree with librocrat, I have been under the impression that although Chavez’ stats look nice, they are heavily weighted by a hot start. Balentien looks to be a much more complete defensive player, and much improved hitting wise.

Chavez will always be better than Balentien at defense.

But offensively, if Balentien can keep hitting breaking balls “okay,” then he is going to be considerably better.

There's really no such thing as a hot streak. So you're right about Balentien...

once he becomes a more complete defensive player, he’ll get the playing time, unless Chavezs’ offensive stats change, which seem unlikely at this point.

When were in it you don't wanna throw fucking strikes.
It's David Murphy, Felix.

Just own him already.

PLEASE DONT WALK HIM
So how much shit am I going to get if I ask about this boat thing?
Go peruse tha intarwebs
SNL song

Kinda funny once, since Mariners are by definition on a boat. Completely overused.

Well at least that wasn't a line drive
He can't stop giving up hits.
If Felix strikes out 10 more tonight he'll be tied with Greinke
Wow, tiny crowd

16K

Ouch, it's weird seeing about 4 people in the center field bleachers.
Not Sean White.
GET A DP

Unlikely since it means Davis would connect

I'm going to go kill myself
Could have been a strikeout-throwout DP

and then he went and did that.

Wow Blowers it's almost like common illnesses are contagious
Davis is lost. Just keep throwing breaking balls
FADFGDSGDSGDAGdag
LET'S DO IT AGAIN
What the fuck is wrong with Felix
Chris Davis is a two true outcomes guy
dammit katal
Opening my book back up.

Game’s going on mute.

Come the fuck on god damnit.

No more fastballs. None.

Nevermind.

I’m dumb.

That was a curveball.
What the fuck...
Aw penis
Fuck you and your rally fries, Blowers.
BOTH HRS ON CURVEBALLS NEVER THROW ANYTHING BUT A FASTBALL AGAIN
FUCK YOU SILVA!!!!!

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT FELIX COSTUME!!!!

I think he has more missed bats tonight than Silva has all season
I am just finding a way to blame Silva for this.
Actually, I think this is true.
Holy shit he does
Hahahaha

Silva sucks

This would make a great write up.

You guys should get on this.

I see that was worth checking in on
Who the hell is Chris Davis and why did he just homer off our ace?
A really powerful corner infielder who you should probably get to know
I hate Chris Davis.
Fuck you Felix
HR/FB regession hurts me in the butt
SO I STEP AWAY AGAIN TO SMOKE A CIGARETTE AND THERE YOU GO TWO RUN HOMER

Motherfucker.

Texas seems to have adopted the strategy of swing really fucking hard at every pitch
Sounds familiar.
Except our hitters falsely believe they can hit for power
I just got back with my rally food WTF happened???
You didnt eat enough
Chris Davis homerun
Chris Davis made Felix look like Olivier Perez
My dad called me as I was leaving the store to say Gut had tied it ARGH
That was a strike
9 Ks, who gives a shit with 6 runs
KKKKKKKKK.... but this sucks
God this lineup is monstrous
If Holland and Feliz pan out in the rotation I say we switch divisions
I would kill to be in the NL.
CALL STRIKES CORRECTLY YOU FUCK UP
Annnnddddd my fan graph has given me a sad face once again.
How many swinging strikes? 18?
19 and his night's probably finished
Too many offspeed pitches Felix

More Fastballs

-thanks

HE DIDN'T PROPERLY ESTABLISH THE FASTBALL
Yeah thats probably what i meant
Wait, what?
Add insult to injury by playing the mini sirloin burger commercial.
Sirloin Burgers ad needs to go, NOW.

Alone with the “Tiny Little Burgers” ad.

Dude, the Sirloin burgers are awesome though.

Just sub ketchup for mayo and you have some awesome burgers there.

Good food, annoying ad. Just my two cents.
They're clearly saying "Minnesota burgers"
HERE WE GO AGAIN
There we go Sweeny!

Fuck yeah!

Time for another rally!
Sweeney. Our Leader,
Michael Young is hilarious
-5.8 UZR, -37.9 UZR/150

The whole “Michael Young at 3B” experiment isn’t going well.

His flail as he attempted to field the ball sold it for me
Wow, Young is a cunt
Well that was dumb of you
And I fucking jinx it.
Ok, let's fuck some Ranger shit UP!
DO IT AGAIN MUSCLE
Ok my M's feed just went off air...
Let's go muscle!
There is absolutely no reason Branyan can't demolish a home run ball here.
Except for probabilities.
Okay, Branyan needs better bats.
Just think how better he'll do with better bats
That was a perplexing groundball
Well that was downright terrible
I hope Branyan's using maple bats
Okay, how about being patient for once, Adrian?
Was that RED?
I believe he is indeed back.

Adrian needs his help!

Yep...FSN knows what's up.
Sure was. Nice close-up.
That's what I was thinking!
I smell beltre FB
I dont know why
Need to get my nose checked
It's not your fault.

We don’t wait at bus stops.

The bus is for Yuni
Because someone smells it every at bat.

And it smells like nothing likely.

Well, that was not a strike.
Beltre you dumbshit
Ah Fuck You Beltre
HOW DID MICHAEL YOUNG DO THAT
God fucking dammnit
Beltre got Beltered
All you fucks ripping Young
The Gold Glove makes an appearance.
That's why Michael Young wins the defensive hardware.
fuck AB you had that hit
WTF

Adrian Beltre is the most unlucky motherfucker on the planet. Seriously.

Also, he's not doing all that well.

But yeah.

When you make that kind of contact

And it still gets snared, I like to think it’s half the reason he’s pressing so much.

But yes, I agree.

He hits it consistently in the same place

He pulls the ball right to where he’d make the play were he on defense. The fact that he keeps hitting it in the same place and keeps getting the same results is not ‘unlucky.’

??

what

He's right. It has nothing to do with luck. Beltre is a self-hating Dominican
fucking emo latins
He should change his entrance music

To Hoobastank’s “The Reason”

Yeah, it kinda is.
I respectfully disagree
Wow, fucking unlucky man.
Blowers: "Michael Young the SS for the Rangers the past few years so you know he has pretty good range."
To go back to the days of NBA Jam

BELTRE CAN’T BUY A BUCKET

That game introduced me to the phrase "Who's your daddy"
Is it in the shoes?!
So fucking unlucky what the fuck Beltre.
Goddamn it Young you're not supposed to be good at defense.
God Lopez is just a slightly more talented Yuni
FUCK THIS TEAM
Mike Young likes it in the butt
Lopez. You shit
I can't believe he won a game with a hit like that
I was just thinking the same thing
Disgusting half inning there.
Wait, Griffey isn't playing?
Sick, apparently.
Nope. Touch of the flu.
He woke up with diverticulitis

Which I’m only familiar with from the Scrubs musical

Best show on TV
^^^agree

(now no comments to this and it will sort of make sense)
vvv disagree

A scrubs musical would be my own personal hell.
Surprisingly not bad.
It was written by the people who did Avenue Q

Which is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen live

That, at least, gives it some hope.
The gal who plays Kate Monster in the original cast

Is the guest star who gets everyone singing. Stephanie D’Abruzzo or something similarly spelled and Italian. She looks nothing like what I expected her to, but her voice was instantly recognizable

Stephanie D'Abruzzo
It's fantastic

Guy Love

Inflamed colon
His colon is huge and inflamed.
Yeah he has a big butt

I get it

You made my joke two and a half hours late
Well you stole my gif routine so whatever
You taught me of your own volition
I was seduced
Elephantiasis.
Out: Ken Griffey, Jr. (burning asshole)
I haven't even come close to giving up on this game.

Not after yesterday afternoon. Not after twenty minutes ago.

We’ve got this one in the bag, folks. The Rangers just don’t realize it yet.

This is how they get you
"They" being whom?

That bitch-goddess luck and her associate Scrappy?

Just when you get desensitized to tough losses they try to make you believe again to reinvigorate the awful
So I was essentially right.
We've been living in the basement so long it's hard to feel awful.

Gotta get the elevator moving a while before you cut the cord.

I am starting to have a sinking feeling about this game...
Ah fuck why is this Casual Dining commercial so loud?

I shouldn’t have to scramble to turn down the TV when a commercial comes on

I noticed TNT used to always do this. Their commercials were all 25% louder than their shows.
Mute commercials

I do this religiously

Makes them take longer
But then what would I dance to in between innings?
Between Match 4 and burgers commercials, I mute the tv during commercials.
Texas is gonna slaughter White.
The extreme groundballing White might actually be our best bet against this lineup
Mike Young is slugging .600?

What the fuck

He and Torii Hunter caught the same disease
Gary Matthews' HGH shipments?
Torii Hunter is consistently hits for a decent amount of power.
Not real excited about the White vs. Texas matchup
Put Silva in there as a control to see if they just suck at making contact in general
This seems like it would hurt our chances of winning
For science
You remind me of the mad doctor on "Fringe"

Which is, incidentally, a surprisingly good show.

We stand to benefit so much so ok then
You scientists find a way to ruin everything
I ruined your mother last night with the 1L graduated cylinder in my pants
Not the sulphuric acid splashing again. You're a real dick.
Hasn't white missed fewer bats than Silva?

Only one K in nine innings.

Both of those balls should be strikes.
It's so nice to have a 1B that's actually competent at defense.
And competent at offense.
This strike zone is punishingly small.
Bud Selig told the umpires to decrease the strike zone in hopes to increase homeruns this year
I seriously doubt that.
If nothing else, it's fun to blame crap on him.
The Ministry of Silly Walks strikes again.
Come on Texas, put in your terrible bullpenn.
This is why I was a little bummed about Young's play. I feel a lot better at 6-5 facing their bullpen in the 8th/9th than 6-4.
Ok, 3 innings, 3 runs.

Let’s do this guys!

Hey all, just got in

How’d Felix do? I’ve only got a little negative indicator from this thread thusfar.

6 IP 6 ER 10 hits 2 HR 0 BB 9K
Blech.
Very very unusual start where he made like six mistakes and they all got killed
Who took him deep?
Not Robert =(
HAHAHA
Davis and Young.
Lil Mikey Young
Mixed bag.

Lots of K’s, but too many hard-hit balls and a couple of homers.

He was pretty solid, except for the sixth.

Crazy missed bats, 9 Ks, 0 BB, many ground ball hits, 2 HR only big negative.

http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/gameday/index.jsp?gid=2009_05_04_texmlb_seamlb_1&mode=gameday

That 4th inning was a sack of shit, too.
True. I forgot about that. All fastballs first four batters.
Not many ground balls.

:(

Swing strikes holy crap...
Looked to be a filthy pitch, but the catcher's ass was in the way.
Yay my M's feed is back I think!
The one I posted?

Mine got cut off

It's back!
We Are The Resistance.
Is scruffy around tonight?

The ass rash helped us rally last night… I’ve just now recovered my vision, but I’ll trade eyesight for a victory

I would be willing to lose every single game from here on out in return for that picture never being posted here again
Ok, fair enough

What else can we do to recapture some of that mojo…? I really don’t like our bullpen’s chances against this lineup

You suck
There's a reason it's not my call.
You feeling the burn?
Adblock would be easiier
It must be nice to have a shortstop who knows where to stand
I envy every other teams shortstops.
70 pitches for Millwood. Christ.
Greg Halman is a beast
A beast with a serious sight problem
Gutierrez induced tumescence - ON
Guti Sex Single!
Is that what he did

Or what you wish he was?

Hahahahaha!
A little bit of both!
Someday, someday he could be yours...
HIT HIM SECOND
Gutierrez is a man on fire

his OPS is approaching .850 somehow

I just noticed that.

If he can somehow keep his power anywhere near that he’s a ridiculous steal.

What does that make his WAR when his defense is tacked on?
Somewhere Cameron-level
Who by the way is on fucking fire this year.
Juiced balls
I knew he was into amphetamines, but I didn't realize that he was into juicing his balls.

Cammy’s always been a weird one though.

NL MVP so far.
Raul
Incomprehensible but true.
I'm convinced someone hacked into fangraphs and changed his UZR
Remember people were trying to suggest that the Brewers would dump him to the Yankees for peanuts during the offseason?
Cashman must be suicidal
I imagine that Cashman is always sort of toeing that line, although maybe less so without Big Stein
He's Mike Cameron if he can keep this up
Juiced balls
Which he's totally into since he does the Ghey Pronz
Now, see, Millwood tonight reminds me of Vazquez.

Cruising, not particularly dominating and then one terrible inning.

Vazquez has awesomer stuff
Work with me a little here.
By Jove I think you're on to something!
What an awesome crime fighting duo we make!
We'd have all the same ideas
We couldn't be a worse crime fighting duo
You could be each others' nemeses
Having fights like George and Oscar
I would know where he is at all times and vice versa
"Matthew's in hiding"

“Oh wait he’s probably buying gummy bears”

god dammit.
We should just not ever exist in the same spheres
Shotgun Earth!
Sometimes, ideas need a similar mind to help bring them to fruition.
That's why the old guy got fired on House
Time for Yuni to fuck everything up.
UGH it's Yuni
Yuni, you owe us a HR.
Yuni owes us years of our lives.
NO YUNI DOUBLE PLAYS
GIDP time!
Way to swing at a pitch wide outside, Yuni!
Fuck you Sims

Don’t give him credit for that shitty bunt. It had nothing to do with anything under Yuni’s control.

Classic Yuniball
HOLY FUCK YUNI DIDN'T SUCK

ICHIRO!!!!!

Wak the World!
God Yuni almost fucked that up
YES!

KILL! KILLLLLLL!!!!!!

HIT AND RUN SUCCESS!
Hit and run with Yuni?

Well, at least they’re learning ways around the GIDP. And it pays off!!!

HOLY SHIT YUNI DIDN'T FUCK UP
LD or blooper?
Soft liner up middle.
Both are good answers. Full credit!
I prefer the term "dying quail" myself.
Late. Half credit.
Hit the crap out of that one.

We’ll take it, it’s Yuni. A hit is a hit.

There is no such thing as a looping line drive
There is in Baseball Simulator 1.000 for Super Nintendo
I like the rocket line drive that pushes the guy all the way to the wall
But it was a frozen rope!

A partially melted frozen rope, but a rope nonetheless

And the rope was bent
Haha why would Gutz stop there? Not like he had a chance to get back to first even if Kinsler caught it
Fuck this we can win it.
I was watching Gutierrez the entire time
If you're going to hit and run with a Mariner, why not Yuni?

He wont strike out, and he’ll either pop up, ground out, or line one to the grass

Rally!

Right before Endy?
I am a big fan of the Sexson Logo, and I don't want it changed.

But I just realized it would be absolutely hilarious if this was put in its place.

I could get so much ass with a puppy that cute
Time for a squeeze bunt?????
Maybe have been a good idea in retrospect.
Okay, that's fine.
1 run game,
Thank you for running, Ichi
Yay for beating out DP!
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh God that was terrifying
Meh. I guess that's okay
And at least we get a run in!
I'll take it.
If Ichiro were a spaceship

He’d make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs

Goodness, that was almost a keyboard-pounding angry moment
Do this

Way, way too close. Don't scare me like that, Ichiro.

Still, I’ll take the run.

Surprised he went feet-first

Given how close that was

YES YES YES
ICHIRO IS FAST
Did Andrus touch 2B?
Huh

he would’ve been out if that’s caught.

Ha ha, Salty threw it away.
That was a pretty salty throw
Wooooooooooo Ichi-steal!
He should steal third and then home. Only way he's going to score
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wow, Ichi was beat to the bag
Blowers acts like Chavez leading off the next inning is such a great thing
hhaa yeah that was funny
Well, he's more attractive leading off an inning than being depended on for an RBI w/RISP, like just now.
CMON ENDY NOW'S A GOOD TIME FOR A HIT
Curse you Michael Young.
Does it make me a bad person

That I really like the name Saltalamacchia?

I don't see why it would.
I was close to buying a jersey once

But I think that that, actually, would make me a bad person.

Why not Saltalamacchia on the back of an M's jersey....
Because

I have no desire to suffer through what would turn into constant “helpful hints” by people around me that he wasn’t on our team, or people asking me if I was related.

On the other hand, if he was on our team, I’d just get a shirt specially made.

So did his teacher who he married
Dammnit Endy
Ok, so two more innings, two runs

We can do it!

Curse you endy
It's only going to get worse in regards to his offense
Boooooooooooo...
You had a chance for redeemtion
Phooey.

But one run is better than none.

When Endy starts hitting .260 again can we start the Free Michael Saunders campaign?
After the way Wlad hit yesterday

I think they would give him the nod first.

Sweeney---> DH, Griffey -----> LF
Hemlock---> Mouth
I'd rather see Saunders in September.
I agree. He needs some AAA time.
Best case, maybe all-star break?
If he is up by the All-Star break, someone is very injured.
Probably someones, with Owens in Tacoma.
Whenver he gets up here, it'll be nice to have a LF who can hit and defend
I have no particular desire to see Saunder in September because that means we're out of the race

and I don’t see us running away with the West no matter how bad AAA sucks

I'd rather see Felix in October.
I like our chances

Unless Texas scores

I dont like the chances of White throwing two shutout innings
He's not that bad
3 grounders, 1 walk, 1 k

Typical White.

He throws reasonably hard

seems like he’s no worse than Good Corco

Why am I mad at White? Did he fuck something up this week?

what game was it?

As an extreme groundballer he's actually probably a good answer to these hackers.
I consider my point proven.
Oh snap
He could do it...
Why can't any of our pitchers throw strikes to David Murphy
Just got here

Yuni’s WPA is higher than Felix’s? Uh oh.

God have mercy!
Why would you walk David Murphy?
Who said that?!
Will somebody please get this generic-named motherfucker out?
Our generic-named pitcher
Or our uniquely-named catcher and shortstop.
Or our very generically-named second baseman
Seriously. He's like the character we never met in To Kill a Mockingbird.
Kenji woo!
wow, didn't think he had it in him
Nice fucking throw
FUNK CAUGHT STEALING!
He was safe
Yuni nearly fucked up the tag.
Let's ask for the out back in that case.
Way to gun him down, Kenji.
First of the season.
Great throw by Kenji, sloppy tag by Yuni.
The throw was to the wrong side of the bag. Not that impressive
I'm easily impressed after watching Rob Johnson.
Yes, but Rob actually has thrown well. It's the rest of the job that he sucks at
It had velocity and was accurate in that it went directly to Yuni.
Bad play all around actually
I think that was a pretty good throw myself.

Very quick release. It easily beat the runner, but Yuni needs to actually go tag the runner instead of just putting his glove there.

That was my problem, he just stuck his glove out and the runner actually was safe by a hair.
I overstated the case

It was a good release and a mediocre throw, plus a lazy tag attempt.

Almost monkey like in the tag attempt.
It was a mediocre throw?
Wrong side of the base
Any further to the left though and it's in centerfield...
HAHAHAHAHA BETTER CATCHER THAN ROB JOHNSON EVER HOPES TO BE!
At least Robbie J is better than Rene Rivera
That's like saying a regular turd is better than a turn that's been puked on
*turd
AW I BLEW IT
The turd?
son of a bitch.
No, that's too obvious of a joke I thinks to meself.
No, that would be absrd
AW SHUCKS ANOTHER TYPO

STUPID KEYBOARD

Safe he was
Hey look at that

a catcher who doesn’t blow.

Let's not get carried away.
Hey look at that

a catcher who blows less than what we’ve gotten used to?

I think that sounds right :)
Wait wait, there's catchers like that?!
I want White's children in me or on my face.
Boy you're really slumming
At least Washbburn could give you a good child support check
Oh he'd check your child's child's chest support, alright.
We need to get it done this inning - Sweeney-Branyan-Beltre
Kenji and Gutz have some magic going
That's true but I never like going into the 9th down
Put your glove on the bag, Yuni.
He's phoning it in with every movement he makes.
Are we winning yet?
PS DISH NETWORK IS A FESTERING JUNGLE OF PUSS
I predict a Sweeney base hit, a Branyan double or homer, and another depressing Beltre out.

After that, outlook hazy.

I'll take it
Sweeney's pants are really high up like a 70-year-old man.
I didn't even know they still made the tight-bottomed pants.

I thought it was either baggy style or knee socks.

He's just disproporionately leggy
Cmon Sweeney
He crushed ball 3
Halman has been 3-0 and 3-1 both times today but has managed to

K both occurrences.

I thought they got rained out
Damn it whitey, don't fuck this up
Full count.
Strange happenings tonight.
And whoa, Michael Saunders is ON FIRE. 2 HRs.
WHat has Wilson been doing
Getting splinters in his rear.

His ankle’s still twisted.

Ah thank you
Making up for lost time, sweet.
WOOOOOOOO SAUNDERS!
Oh thank God that got out of play
YAY BULLPEN
Hooray!

A shitty bullpen!

Oh bollocks he's left-handed
How's Francisco been throwing?
Pretty damn good.
Pretty good.

Already 0.4 WAR

So this is our last chance?
Technically no
Time to put a hurtin on CJ Wilson
CJ Wilson EH?
Heck of a ballgame by Millwood? um fail.
CJ WILSON [no politics]
Don't get it.
Mr. Wilson is quite outspoken in some of his political beliefs.
I see

Good times.

I thought he was more about being straight edge than being political.
I'm sick of calling AB's first HR, its just not gonna fucking happen.
If you call it every at bat, it has to happen eventually
Watched HR never come.
What if it...doesn't...
Are you fucking kidding me with that picture, CJ?
That has to be the worst facial hair I've ever seen.
Wilson's throwing some heat
CJ!

Yikes dude
He looks like he's doing the sprinkler.
He's got his war face on.

I SAID YOUR WAR FACE AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! THAT’S A WAR FACE SON!

Alright times up lez do this.
Goddamn LHP
TAKE RUSSELL TAKE
David Murphy runs like a dork.
Frank Francisco in

Game Over.

IF WE CAN BEAT RUSS SPRINGER WE CAN BEAT ANYBODY
Quick, find a woman begging for a good chairing!
Oh shit Washington must be one of those thinking ones
The glasses should've tipped me off
Billy Beane let Ron Washington and Don Wakamatsu go to hire Bob Geren.

Never forget.

That's racist, dude.
Humans are all one species
Except Alexei Ramirez and Sam Cassell
I think Yuni might be a hybrid.
Except for those damn s-

All black people can think dumb dumb
What the fuck? I thought the Rangers bullpen was supposed to be bad?
Everyone but Francisco
Here comes Mr Frank.
I was feeling homesick for Tony LaRussa
Hm

Remember remember
Except the non-mustache portion is more (1-Guy Fawlkes)
Pinch hit Ovechkin!
If Felix could have just kept that last damn homer off the record, we're ahead by a run.
If he had kept Young's in the ballpark too we'd be up three
I know, I know...the "if" game is incredible stupid for just this reason.
Or if Yuni discovered lateral motion.
Why oh why does Frankie Francisco have to be good this year?
I think he was good last yr
He's good all the time
Except in distinguishing between first and last names

He’s been bad in that for a while.

He hasn't even given up a run yet this year

God damn

Well we're boned
He's due to give up a run
But it's AB at bat...this will go poorly.
NEVER SURRENDER!

GUTI WILL GET ONE MORE AT BAT!

Time for Beltre to not suck rhino balls
Yet to give up a run vs. yet to hit a HR. Hmmmmm
Be funny if Beltre hit his first homerun here.
Almost a nice call.
Yep. It would be hilarious.
Thanks for jinxing it, dude.
Way to cause him not to hit a homer
A scapegoat arises.
That was one of the worst 0-2 pitches I bet he's ever thrown
Good thing Beltre is terrible!
Not getting Sweeney in from 2nd with no outs

or Ichiro from 3rd with two outs, or Ichiro from 2nd with two outs is really hurting right now.

Probably shouldn’t complain.

I blame Endy Chavez for much of this night.
Thanks, Michael Young.
Dammnit if he had hit that to any other fucking part of the field
In any other park...
That's likely an out.
I was merely mocking

the constant repetition of these two statements, when in fact they save our pitchers on a daily basis.

Damn that pitch hung
GAH!

Bad Kai – You’re going in your crate.

.....so close...
GOD DAMN THIS TEAM

YESTERDAY MEANS NOTHING WITH A LOSS HERE. YOU ARE THIS CLOSE TO LOSING ME

Chill out dude, at least the Caps and the Nationals won.

And Ryan Zimmerman has a 22 game hitting streak going.

Fuck everyone you just mentioned
THANK THE LORD THE NATIONALS WON

THIS IS CLEARLY RELEVANT TO ME IN SEATTLE WASHINGTON

I TOO REMEMBER WHEN THE MARINERS DRAFTED RYAN ZIMMERMAN INSTEAD OF.. oh
JEFF CLEMENT IS A HUGE FAGGOT THAT IF WE HAD DRAFTED A FLAILING BABBON DICK WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE USEFUL TO THIS TEAM
What's a babbon?
How are babby formed?
Babby Hernandez is a pitcher.
OH SHIT THERE IS ACTUALLY ANOTHER WASHINGTON IN AMERICA

I THINK YOU MIGHT BE LOST BECAUSE THIS APPEARS TO BE A DIFFERENT WASHINGTON THAN WHERE THE NATIONALS PLAY

Well I give up on this game
If anyone reaches base Yuni will hit!
How are the Diamondbacks doing?
Beltre's gonna hit 5HR for the season. Pa-fucking-thetic.
He's on pace for zero
Let us not get ahead of ourselves.
At least we don't have to hear about how he only ever tries

in his contract year.

We'll be able to resign him for cheap!
Seattle fans are so lame.

Sorry to any of you who live in Seattle

"to any of you who live in Seattle?"
You do know where you are, right?
Yes, I'm sure each and every fan in the ballpark is a Seattle resident.
Well i actually don't live "in Seattle" so does that not apply?
And I do and am not a Mariners fan, but this somehow now applies to me.
Fuck you too, buddy!
This was kind of a weird thing to say.
Yeah. Screw damn near everybody in this thread all in one statement.

Those assholes.

I'm the exception!
Samesies!
Fuck everyone in California is always implied.
It's your fault we're losing.

You Lametard!!!

Im disappointed by the fans at Safeco. Between the not cheering loudly and the ridiculous

dancing, Im not pleased with what I see.

Why would we cheer loudly when we're about to lose?
Not tonight.
Actually I wish fans would do that more
Especially hockey fans
You do realize

That the entire stadium is not dancing….right?
And also what Graham said.

YOUR TEAM SPIRIT IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!

I live in a suburb of Seattle so does this statement not apply to me?
Do you go to the games and not show team spirit by way of yelling and clapping?

Do you dance to the bad music played in the stadium?

Yes, no, and only when we're winning
You're okay, but more yelling and clapping needed
According to operant conditioning,

we should not be rewarding the Mariners for their failure.

My friends call Yuni a cocksucker even when we're winning.

I’m pretty sure everybody in the stadium heard him doing it. Priceless

Good. He's a cocksucker
Seriously

I mean… what kind of an jerk goes to the stadium to enjoy themselves? And those children! Having fun! That’s just… what the hell, seriously. Those kids and adults trying to have fun need to sit the hell down and not enjoy themselves, except apparently to cheer extremely loudly for their losing team.

Negatory, son.

I have never danced to any bad music. Because it’s bad.

I do, however, lose my shit when things are going well. Tonight they’re not, so the only thing I would have cause to yell would be swears – which the good staff at SafeCo frowns on, so I would most likely be cursing under my breath, instead.
Because that’s how I roll.

Mariners fans dancing doesnt make me feel any better.
I see JJ isn't getting his number retired
It could be a dual number

Like what’ll happen with Ichiro/Randy

Why would he?
I think Stark wears the same number.

Similarly Rey Quinones won’t get his number retired.

Wow, that made me want to shoot someone

Bad dancing was not a cheer me up there

This summer, can we please have a game where Stark, Cordero, and Zimmerman all appear?

Could we trade get Dan Wilson to un-retire for said game?

I want Pat Borders to catch.
Good call

I was thinking Miguel Olivo, but he’d be too young.

I'm all for that.
Hey, I see a stork
Quit dancing you clowns, we're losing
REMEMBER WHEN WE TRADED HIM FOR JEFF CIRILLO
Calling up pitchers doesn't mean you have depth
Yes it does in the sense that it'd better then having literally no players
But it means you have a phone.

And hey, that’s something, right?

Denny Stark has chemo teeth
When you have an elbow transplant, all you can do is smoke meth
Why is Yuni's hit earlier

a looping line drive, but that is a “little looper”?

OH NOES INTERRACIAL COUPLE UNDER A BLANKET
TO THE BATCAVE
I can't believe I'm watching Denny Stark pitch in this uniform

Is Tom Davey too much to ask?

I was a Rob Ramsay guy
The cancer was a nice touch
Is he dead yet?
That's when I stopped liking him
Yuni: "YAY! I STOOD IN THE RIGHT SPOT! I'M NEVER MOVING!"
Swinging strike!
How does a washed up soon to be 35 year old

have this good of velocity?

Straight 94 mph HEAT
Meth and steroids mixed.
"Adenharted"

Classy guy.

Who?
Graham

last GDT

Thought he was talking about an announcer.
You have the reaction speed of the person driving Nick Adenhart's car
It begins! Hooray!
OH NO HE DIDN'T GET IT GURRRRRRLLLLLL
So how will Lopez manage to fall ass backwards into winning the game tonight?
He's leading off so either a HR or a steal of home
Which would only tie it.
Extra innings?
Or a lazy flyout.
I believe thats called a "lofty line drive"
Minnesota burgers?
Man I have this burning sensation on my backside.....
Rally rash!
Jason Vargas must feel like such a pussy in that bullpen
Why?
His speed is puny.
He's the only guy who doesn't throw 94
Well, he is the only lefty.
Francisco will have to find a way to meltdown here
OT: Is "taigan" a word?

Id est, of or relating to the taiga?

REFUSE TO LOSE
REFUSE TO SWING AT GOOD PITCHES
We're fucked
Why are you swinging at that
It doesn't work out as well when the outfield doesn't trip
Thanks Loafie.
I wish Frank Francisco was Russ Springer.
Swinging at balls is NOT going to help!
Oh dear Sims.. we haven't had a hit in an inning..
I NEED A JOHJIMER
Good eye Kenji
Just find a way to get on base Kenji, Gutz will bring you home
Part II. Here we go.
HORSESHIT
How the fuck did he get thrown out. You Slow Fuck
Would now be a bad time to mention the Engola Gay?
HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF FUCKING JESUS!
Fuck the world
He was safe.
Bull fucking crap
WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER IF HE MADE A GOOD PLAY YOU STILL HAVE TO CALL A FUCKING FAIR GAME

Andrus ROBBED Johjima.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SAFE

USE YOUR REPLAY WAK
FUCK YOU UMP
Fuck you in the fucking ass
Im not even going to give Andrus credit on that. How fucking slow are you
He was safe.

So… You have misplaced anger today.

It shouldnt have even been close
But he was safe.
FUCKING BULLSHITTTTTTTT
FUCK THE UMP
HE WAS SAFE FUCKING TWICE YOU STUPID FUCKING SHIT
I'm still waiting for our robots
Niehaus loved that play.

Missed it at first, but great call.

He beat it, and his foot was off!
SAVE ME GUTZ
We got screwed!
Wow and his foot was off the bag

Umpires have really fucked us over the last few days

Mike Reilly'd
I fucking hate baseball ump rules
Beat it out in two different ways

Fuck it.

But You just nevah nevah nevah know!
That's a bad time to make up for the incorrect stolen base call
Oh, that's what a short stop is supposed to do.
Sounds about right
KENJI SHOULD BE AT THIRD WITH ONE OUT
Gutz keeping things alive!
Was I the only one who thought he would be clearly safe by the time

the camera cut to first base?

Fucking stupid. Fucking fucking fucking stupid
Yuniesky Betancourt is at the plate!
YESYESYESYES FUCKING UMPIRE
Gutz comes through again.... unfortunately unless Yuni miraculously gets a hit it won't matter
Oh great, Yuni gets to make the last out.
UMPIRE SCREWUPS ARE A CHERISHED PART OF THE GAME
HERE COMES THE RALLY MONKEY
Wow...Rec'd...
This is so inappropriately awesome
Thanks ump we could of had a runner in scoring position.
Now Yuni gets to win it!
Yuni will save us.
And wow - if it weren't for that piece of shit umpire we'd have first and third 1 out
We probably would not
You don't think he could have gone first to third on that?
The sequence would have been different had Johjima been called safe
I believe Jeff is referring to the fact that you can not actually imply direct continuation when going back and changing past events.
Oh, shit Yuni's up.
OH GOD YUNI IS GONNA FUCK THIS UP!
DO NOT FUCK THIS UP YUNI
PINCH HIT GRIFFEY
He would get beaned in his swollen ass
Black people have big butts

we get it

Nice

Fucking umpires

AND MY FEED JUST DIED!
I predict first pitch swinging.
GRIFFEY
REMEMBER HIS BUTT HURTS
GO DO YOUR THING RALLY MONKEY
So, would you guys prefer a walk or a homer?

As long as we’re dreaming.

shit shit shit

maybe?

SWING SWING SWING SUCK DICK SWING SWING
I wonder if Yuni's impulsive nature the reason why it took so long for his kind to get voting rights
Who, monkeys?
Black people aren't monkeys you fucking racist
Fuck you Yuni, do not GIDP.
That would be pretty hard to do right now.
there are 2 outs
With 2 outs?
GOOD NEWS!
There are 2 outs
There are 2 outs.
he'll find a way
That's what Im saying bro!
With two outs thats unlikely
That would suck to watch on MLB.tv
I'm scared to watch the TV
What if he walked here?

How crazy would that be

HOLY FUCK 3-0
Please, yes
I DON'T GET IT HE HAS NOT SWUNG AT EITHER PITCH
JUST SCREW UP YUNI I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE!
PINCH HIT SOMEONE WHO WILL TAKE A WALK

NOW NOW NOW

Oh, so that's what good SS defense looks like.

BTW, can we get a “Missing” poster for Ronny Cedeno?

Wait. What?
TAKE YOU FAT MONKEY
OH MY GOD ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US
TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE
WATCH THIS FUCKER SWING AT BALL 4 AND GET OUT 3
IF YOU SWING I WILL BE MAKING MONKEY STEW FOR BREAKFAST
3-0

You serious?

YOU'RE KIDDING

TAAAAAAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE

HOLY ASS HE TOOK
TAKE AGAIN
IMPOSSIBLE DREAM GO GO GO
Dammnit 3-1 he's going to swing at anything
TAKE YOU MOTMOTHERFUCKING RALLY MACACA
TAKE AGAIN
HE'S GONNA FUCK UP!
Take again please
That would've been a gift.
DO NOT SWING
YUNI WILL FUCK THIS UP WATCH!
HE WALKED MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD
This is impossible.

I didnt see it, so this didnt happen. Not possible.

Do not swing.
Sec 108 screamed this very thing

at the top of his (formidable) lungs during Yuni’s entire at bat. I feel this is why Yuni did not, in fact, swing.

After Friday night I think Yuni is scared of Sec108, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Too bad they don’t have a section 8, he’s freakin’ craaaaaazy when it comes to hating Yuni, compared to Sec108 my feelings towards Yuni only rate ‘a strong dislike to mildly aggravating’.

It really is a marvel to experience in person.
OH MY FUCKING GOD
OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOD THE MONKEY IS LEARNING
MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO
OH MY FUCKING GOD
YUNI WALKED! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HOLY FUCK WHAT DID YUNI JUST DO?
TIME TO UPDATE THE MOTHERFUCKING SIDE BAR
I DONT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW
OH MY GOD YUNI!!!!!!!!
NO FUCKING WAY
walk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Isn't that a sign of the apocalypese?
HOLY FUCK WHAT DID YUNI JUST DO?
THIS IS FUCKING STUPID YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FUCK UP!
HE WALKED HOLY CHURCH OF LATTER DAY SAINTS HE WALKED
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
AMAZING HIS FIRST WALK
HOW THE FUCKKKKKKKKKK YESSS
Hey Red, I swear I saw you on the Jumbotron with your Beltre head tonight.

Was that a mirage, or were you game threading from the game?

Red is RED29.
Well shit. That makes sense now.
I saw him at the team store in a Rainiers jersey!
Good for you!
Toss my salad and thank me junior!
Thanks but no thanks
Robert works in an electronics store, not a deli

yeesh

He was dancing on TV behind Ichiro in the last AB
Finally. A walk.

Take down the leaderboard!!

IT'S A MIRACLE!
94 at bats, first fucking walk
WALKED!!!!!!
BE A HERO ICHIRO
Is this what heaven is like?
Apparently not.
IT HAPPENED IT FINALLY HAPPENED
WALK WALK HOLY SHIT
Cant ask for anything more. Our best guy with a chance to tie it up
WHAT THE FUCKKKKK HAPPENED

I BELIEVE I MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVE YESSS GOO ICHIRO

NO FUCKING WAY
Well, that's a first.
HAHAHAHAHA YUNI HAS MORE UNINTENTIONAL WALKS THAN ICHIRO!
If Ichiro bunts here, Francisco will throw it away and we will tie the game at least.
Joh should be on third with one out though. Fuck these umps.
PLEASE ICHIRO JUST LIKE YESTERDAY
You know ... we'd have the bases loaded with 1 out

If not for that bullshit

ICHIRO DOES NOT HAVE ANY WALKS AND YUNI HAS 1

IRONY ANYBODY!

sadkgfkl;hadksfjadfdsa
FUCK YOU ICHIRO
That was dumb
wow what a fucking horrible ending first pitch fucking swinging
Why Ichiro why?
Well poop
AW FUCK

COME ON, ICHIRO

Well that sucked.
Wow, way to let the air out of the stadium.
damnnnnnnnn FUCK
You're a cunt, Ichiro!!!
ICHIRO HAS FEMALE PARTSAND THUS HURTS THIS TEAM
This game should be tied.
How could Ichiro

ruin something so great from Yuni?

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK YOU ICHIRO

IS THAT THE THIRD AT BAT IN A ROW HE SWUNG AT THE FIRST PITCH?

It was a good fastball to hit
LET US BE IRRATIONAL IN PEACE
He walked Yuniesky Betancourt
A first pitch hittable fastball is a first pitch hittable fastball

Ichiro just didn’t put a good enough swing on it.

He just walked Yuniesky fucking Betancourt ... not a good time to first pitch swing with the game on the line
Selfish little bitch
ICHIRO HOW COULD YOU FUCKING WASTE A YUNI-WALK
ICHIRO HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Blown call cost us the gmae

FUCK YOU! Just FUCK YOU!

I see its just the same old Mariners

No point in getting excited in a team that cant score in the clutch

Fucking ump
Ichiro = today's Yuni.
If Bedard doesn't put these fuckers away tomorrow

I will, quite frankly, be pissed.

So that call at first was annoying.
I'm sending that ump a death threat
That bad call cost us the tie.
Maybe, you never know
It cost us an Endy at bat.
Oh, the horror.
There could've been a SWEET bunt.
Bill Krueger is a jar of mayo
I love this comment.
Yuniesky Betancourt: now, with more walks than Bengie Molina.
Yuniesky Betancourt: now slightly more like Marlon Byrd.
Johjima bangs one his hole
These umpires need to be raped in the eyes.

fucking blind ass fucking ass shits. What the fucking ass crap has this been all fucking year. Get a fucking call right you fucking shit holes. There is no fucking thing you are doing right at all you fucking ass fucks. All of you need to be fuckin fired.

That about sums it up.
I agree with the spirit of this, but skull-fucked umpires will make even worse calls than non-skull fucked oned.
I don't see how that's true.
They've fucked us for the Umpteenth time.
A number that is both correct and ironic.
The Umpires for the Mariners this year have just been god awful.

This is fucking bullshit. Something has to be done about this shit. There is human error and there is bullshit, this is the latter.

The calls haven’t even been close. Not even close.

We are still on a boat but the boat is dry docked.
The boat just fucking sank
The boat just fucking ran aground and burned. Then a horde of plague infested

rats ran aboard. Then a thousand cats infected by Toxoplasma gondii took shits all over the vessel. Then a chinook helicopter dumped 10 tons of 10M HCL down the vents. Then…

The Boat got seized by Somali Pirates.

It is now anchored off the coast of Eyl.

Really? 10M HCl?

nerd!

And of course the D-Backs have to be losing too.
If not for that call bases would have been loaded, and I think Guti would have been able to score on that Ichiro fly out
That isn't how it works.
Yet I listen to broadcasters say it all the time. It's mind blowing how many people

think that way

The point remains that the umpires fucked us though

Although Felix fucked us worse so there’s that

That's assuming that all the other players would have done the same thing

But I’m confident we would have scored

Oh but it is, Oh but it is...
So was Joh really safe?? I didn't look at the replays because I was so

irate that he was so slow that he couldn’t easily beat the throw

He was safe but it was a very close play
In addition Murphy was called out when he was safe stealing in the 8th so...
I wonder if the LI of blown calls evens out over the year
I don't know if one year is enough

since I don’t know what kind of sample sizes we’re dealing with re: blown calls.

Well, if you're going multiyear you have to look at playoff LI
Yeah he was safe

Though if Yuni had applied the Tag in a timely fashion he would have been out.

Yes he was safe and his foot was off the fucking bag
GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT CALL?!

Two days in a row screwing th Japanese players at first.

Racist pieces of shit
That Yuni walk was like a religious experience.

Witnessing a miracle.

Yeah, the loss hasn't hit me yet.
I shall remember it far longer than the outcome of this game
If Gutz had tried to steal and missed and Yuni hit a HR we would only be tied
And if the Mariners only hit homeruns we'd still be in the first inning.
I know the umpire totally screwed us over
Well that's a shitty way to lose a game
What the hell just happened?
You posted this comment several minutes after the conclusion of the game
Maybe something noteworthy just happened in his room
I'm still trying to understand what happened.
You're a funny guy
Two teams started a game of baseball

Then they finished.

Why can't this team just roll over and die at the first sign of trouble.

They are killing me with these one run wins and losses.

Honestly I myself would rather have all our losses be by one run than be blown out in all our losses
I hate having to think about the 1 or 2 ABs that could have changed the outcome

in our favor.

That is the story of most baseball games.

And much of life, come to think of it.

So that was anticlimatic
Are you kidding? Yuni WALKED!

That was one of the highlight of the year!

Exactly.

It ended badly, but there was certainly a climax.

That what I'm saying

He walked. Then Ichiro…..well it was a good pitch to swing at i guess

Well that was eleven different kinds of gay
This comment and the one above it are difficult to reconcile
With eleven different kinds of gay, you expect a lot.

And when it fails to deliver, it’s the ultimate anticlimax.

Please please please

keep up the gay and climax talk.

Usually we leave that for Robert
This game was an orgy of blueballs.

So I respectfully disagree.

Gutierrez was RELEASE, though.
Fuck my heart in all of its valves...I hate watching this team lose.
Wait, we lost?
Like Ankiel versus the wall.
Dude he could be paralyzed that's not funny.
I saw him move his thumbs...he already has more range of motion than Yuni.
Yuni can stand up
And probably pitch too
Doubtful
Wow I just now saw this.
HAHAHAHAHAHA REC'D
Uh-oh Spaghetti O's

That's awful!
Companion pieces!

Goddamn I am good at giffing
The colors suck and its more jerky than you in a mens underwear store
There must be something in CF in StL that makes CFers retarded supermen.
This dates back at least as far as Willie McGee
Technically...
This was the 3rd worst loss of the season
Easily one of the 11th worst losses of the season, that's for sure
No, definately 3rd
Easily the 11th loss, though.

No contest there.

What would be the first two?
Morrow-meltdown in game 2 would be one.
Yes and the one where Rob Johnson lost us the game would be 2nd
Jaku's complete game loss in Chicago was pretty frustrating.
Yeah I feel like that was worse than tonight
I was at school during that whole game so I can't really speak for it

Although I was watching it on gameday when Kelley or whoever it was gave up back to back fucking HR’s

Yeah... this team's got a lot of annoying losses

It’s not just starters flaming out early.

Annoying losses are the mark of a half-decent team
We really haven't been blown out since Anaheim.

Then again we aren’t blowing out anyone either, save Chicago last Felix day

This team is going to give and take a whole lot of annoying all season long
I hate baseball season
That sounds like a good summer.
There ought to be some way to transfer LI into a metric for annoying
I agree with both of those.
Morrows implosion in Minnesota
So frustrating.

Instant replays for home run calls => Umpires aren’t perfect

Umpires aren’t perfect ==> Umpires are somehow good enough so that we don’t need robot umpires at the bases?

I hate that this team will lose at least 81 games

on the plus side my cushion is back to 1 game.

Like it even matters

the only wy this ends is you not getting modded, or you getting punched in the junk and not getting modded

I'm assuming that I will get the mods to plea bargain as the deadline approaches
What will you try to extract from them?
I would be happy with them renaming a section on LL after me and getting to make a few DFA's
"Robert Takes Pride in his Offensiveness"?
I would be down to town with this
GIFs of your GTE?

Integrated with gifs of SB XL and the “We’re going to take the ball and score” game

WWTBAAG2S is my favorite quote of all time
Alright then, just the ensuing interception
It made 1.22.06 all that much sweeter
And XL will make the eventual championship in 2204 much better
Yep!
2204? Won't the Aztecs have ended the world by then?
The Robert Westervelt III memorial gay bunker
Oddly enough, that's what he calls Felix. Love to be buried there any day, he says.
That's not even a section that would make sense
You realize that will end in you being called gay in the object named after you
No publicity is the only bad type of publicity
And perhaps they will mod me to infuriate people

Such as yourself

You got me there

that is pretty much my worst nightmare

I will remember you mocking tone
I am actually capable of growing a handlebar mustache
I would like to see this, please.
You being modded (with your knowledge) would be the greatest day in the history of Lookout Landing
You have a funny definition of "great"
I don't like the fact that we're only 1.5 ahead of Texas
If someone had guaranteed you that a month ago, I think you'd have taken it
Indeed but I can't help getting used to winning
Actually I'd have assumed that would have put us in third place 3 games back of Anaheim
You have very precise assumptions
You have to draw a line somewhere
I dont like that fact your scoreboard watching in whatever month this is
I can't help it

And it’s May, by the way

CoolStandings gives the Angels and the Rangers a better chance of making the playoffs

http://www.coolstandings.com/baseball_standings.asp?i=1

Coolstandings is retarted they give the Blue Jays a 63% chance of winning the AL East
They update faster than BP, though.
And it's only 46% for Toronto

There’s the wild card.
BP’s is a lower, but both will go down if the Sox hang on for the win.

It makes sense

because it assumes that the team will continue to score runs at the same rate. It doesn’t know that Aaron Hill, Marco Scutaro, Adam Lind, Rod Barajas, and Jose Bautista won’t post OPSes over .900 for the rest of the year.

Not true.

Cool looks at the previous season
BP’s Pecota does something proprietary that’s probably fairly smart.
They don’t assume Youkilis will hit .400.

Really?

I could’ve sworn it was based on a Pythag generated on this season’s runs scored and allowed. I’ll have to double check that.

From their website:

“we simulate the rest of the season millions of times, based on every team’s performance to date and its remaining schedule… Our method is to use simple team statistics (e.g. runs scored and runs against) to predict how each team will fare against all others. For those of you familiar with baseball prediction, we use a variation of the Bill James “Pythagorean Theorem” to predict results. "

There’s nothing about the previous season there, only strength of schedule adjustments. And if they do adjust it based on last season, I have no idea how the Jays are projected to make the playoffs 63% of the time. Their offense is going to regress, regress, regress. Same goes for some of the pitching.

I would say "It's the difference between the smart mode and the dumb mode"

But the Jays actually do better in the smart standings, which the FAQ also says takes some from the past season. So, wrong on that front.

But I don't think that really applies now

First, according to the FAQ, that’s mainly used for football.

Second, it also says “after enough games are played during the current season, last year’s numbers have a negligible impact on the coolstat calculations.” I’d have to imagine we’re at that point for their model.

For evidence, compare BP’s standings. Their monte carlo sim (Based entirely on this season) has the Jays at 62%, right where coolstandings is. But, if you use the PECOTA adjusted sim, they have the Jays at only 11%, which makes a lot more sense. So I don’t see how CS is adjusting the Jays down based on last year.

Those standings arn't cool to me
They do require watching scoreboards, I guess.
Well

At least Gut and Branyan homered.

Yeah, I have a bet with a friend that the Muscle will hit at least 26 HR this year

I might be fucked but it looks good so far

You have a good chance of winning that bet if Muscle can stay healthy.
Branyans gonna hit 30 easy
I'm looking at that play at first again.

Kenji beating the throw and the first baseman coming off the bag, both of the aspects of that play were very very close. Don’t get me wrong I still think Kenji was safe, but looking at that play again I don’t feel quite as bad as I first did. We simply can’t keep on coming in to the ninth down by only one run or so.

Yep

Ump fucked us; Felix fucked us worse.

Except they are paid to be accurate.

Anyone can make guesses. Their JOB hinges on their accuracy. Either get it right, or allow some type of replay for bullshit plays, but get it right. The umpire are a superfluous part of the game, only there because there is currently no technology that is both fast and accurate. Once computers can replace umpires, they’re gone.

I think you're being wildly optimistic there

Major sports leagues are massively conservative.

?

My point was that we can complain that they were wrong, no matter how close, because their job is to be right.

Ah, but if you were addressing that computers may never replace umpires,

then probably. But “there is currently no technology that is both fast and accurate” should be amended with: “and there may never be.”

Is that really true?

I know the tennis line computer system is actually blazingly fast and that they just make it seem slow to add drama. I feel like this could work in baseball.

I'm willing to settle for managers being given a certain number of replay challenges every game.

Do the college football thing and give the coaches 2 or 3 chances to challenge anything during the course of a game.

Yeah, I think he should have taken a moment to make sure his call was correct. He almost made the call before Kenji even crossed the base.
Well, now Andrus gets a nifty little highlight for "Rangers Tonight"

Mariners get a loss.

I believe we should move Guti up to the two spot.
Yeah since Endy's hot streak appears to be over and Guti is heating up that would work well

Endy killed some rallies today

Did you see the write-up at USSM about this?

They did a nice job with it, and I agree with you both.

So why do flu-like symptoms seem to make opposing pitchers unstoppable but our own pitchers much much worse?
Stephen Strasburg struck out 23 when he had the flu
Ziegler wasn't even startable.

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