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Lookout Landing

5/7: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Brian Bannister recorded 14 swinging strikes. 14.

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Fucking hell.
And he only threw six innings
Yay, a hit.
This is one of those days where I should be happy to be at work and not watch this abomination of a team, eh?
Another pitcher to add to the list.

The list of crappy pitchers who have owned us.

Just got here.

What the hell is going on? Why are the Mariners losing, again?

Brian Bannister mental whammy.
Can't score runs, again.
No offense

Seriously, Wash has given up 1 ER and he’s likely to take a loss….

Mariners forgot to take their sexual enhancers and have substandard wood.
...

Photoshop Wak's face on there and we're in business
Not Wak, but ?

Remember when we reamed Jon Danks anally?
Jon Danks was left-handed
I don't remember anything that vivid
I never actually saw the game
Good times, good times.
Meanwhile

I think Ichiro got the memo about people wanting him to to better at the plate today ;)

Has Frabklin just decided he's not going to swing this at-bat?
Juan Cruz' picture makes him look like he weighs 90 pounds
He's a gaunt Jamie Foxx
Ryan Franklin is good again?
Not a good sign when you tune in and Dave & Rick are reading Kauffman Field highlights from the media guide.
Most likely more interesting than the game.
Dan Haren has more RBI in 3 innings today

than our entire lineup has in 7.1.

That dust out in center field is sure annoying.
Holy cow, our offence is embarrassing.
Jarrod Washburn ought to be tossing a lot of people underneath the bus today.
He did that enough last year.
It's going to be fun hearing his thoughts on the game.
Seriously though, after sucking so much last year, he's pitching fantastically and he's going to take a loss today that was beyond his control.

I suppose it’s karmic revenge in a way, but still it’s got to rankle.

If he weren't a selfish prick, he wouldn't worry about the decision - he should be happy he pitched well and sad that his team didn't win.
Now would be a good time for a motherfucking home run, Loafie
Neihaus is talking about the Invasion of Normandy.
He wanted to focus on something that was less of a bloodbath.
Better answer.
I'll take "Things that are more interesting than watching the Mariners offense for 600"
He's just trying to remember the last time the Mariners scored a run.
There's a "Mariners/invasion from sea" joke in here for the historically-minded wag who's clever enough.
Inults about the M's should hurt more from you, but they don't.
I think it's clear at this point which team his heart really lies with.
I do find it amusing that Eyebrows comments far more here than at Halos Heaven, though.

I suppose the caliber of the conversation has something to do with that.

More?

I’ve never commented at HH. Or even registered.

sb, it's time to give up your love of Loafie

That son of a bitch isn’t worth your affection.

Loafie is a hero
If Fogel's still kicking...
You should unban poor LFoJL
Ever since his "bone her?" remark I've been disgusted with him
I hate you guys
Wait, you do realize that Fogel = LFOJL, right?

Or is there some further in-joke/recent development that I have (characteristically) missed out on?

You're mistaken

LFOJL was butthol

This can't be true.
I shouldn't have enabled this
I'm now thoroughly confused.
I'm pretty sure this is just typical LL misinformation

Like the time the rumor got passed around that Jeff Sullivan was really Christina Kahrl’s post-op sex-change name.

Because she went from female to male back again to female.

Dammit, I need to get my scurrilous rumors right.

Except that one is true.
The uncertainty is part of the mystique.
(yes)
I thoght LFoJL was Kinght of King K
No, that's Matthew
I'll never forget my days as rljaws
The originator of the drunkpost!
And the ruiner!
Fuck you very much :)
No RLJaws is Robert
CONFIRMED!
Might as well come out and admit it now: I used to post under the name ASUBoyd
I thought you weren't allowed to make a new username after you got banned

BAN THIS FUCKER

Who was the guy whose avatar was a photo of himself in a douchey brown & yellow cap?

I always confuse ASUBoyd with that guy. They were equally irritating.

That was me
SRSLY, somebody's got to remember his username.

He was banned.

Manzell
Bingo.

I love the fact that you, the Angels fan, know this.

Never leave, never change, Eyebrows. You’re a highly valued member here.

Eyebrows is a hero

we established this a while ago

Also, I was responsible for that whole "Burn The Tree" schtick.

My finest moment.

Well that was only 4 feet too high.
Ha

What a fucking poof

abandon ship
OTF:

Any ideas for a beer (not an IPA) to try tonight when I get back from my exam?
Has to be available at QFC.

On topics: stupid Lopey

After today's game, I recommend 12 ozs of grain alcohol
Speedway Stout!
I am considering going to BevMo! Escondido tonight and buying out their supply while I still can
I need to burn through the awful beer in my fridge so I can justify a BevMo run.

Next time I have a barbecue, I need to remind people to not bring Bud Light and Amstel Light. The Amstel I can tolerate, the Bud will be thrown at cars.

Use the Bud light for cooking.
Meth?
Beer cheese soup. Precook ribs. Precook sausages.
Good meat deserves good beer. I won't marinate nice meat in urine
Bad beer is actually okay for cooking, but your choice.
My favorite is throwing a little pan on the back of the BBQ with some Bud or whatever in it.

Simmer some polish sausages in there while everything else is going on, covers all the people that show up late.

I made beer cheese soup

with some decent ale.

It was one of the most awful things I’ve ever cooked.

Beer cheese soup works best with a crappy American Lager.
I have two cases of Coors and Miller in my house and I have no idea what to do with it

my roommates don’t/can’t drink and I’m sure as fuck not drinking that stuff

Water your plants
I live in Temecula

what plants?

Water your immigrants
That'll work
Use the Bud Light to teach immigrants how to speak English

so that they can engage in hilarious hijinks in attempting to pick up women.
/Cut to Cambodian man saying “Bood light”

I have Coors and Miller only, unfortunately
Maybe he has a friend that needs to fake a piss test
Any opinions on Chimay?
Let's meet in Anaheim and sell them to Angel fans
Amstel Light?

Does Amstel Light actually exist? Never heard of it.

...

It will probably taste like rainwater.

I’ve tasted Bud Light once, it was disgusting.

You can’t buy Amstel Light here in Holland, kind of weird since it’s a Dutch beer.

The Dutch are morbidly obese and don't require light versions.
At least Cruz isn't Bannister
Yeah I wanted to be frustrated in a different manner.
At least the humiliation isn't as staggering
Cruz's Gameday photo suggests that he descended from the heavens to strike out Mariners.
FIRESALE!!!
No one will buy. Just burn it!
On the plus side, Gutz had a terrific at bat:

Took called strike one, laid off a ball, called strike two, ball two, fouled off two pitches in the strike zone, then lined out. He didn’t swing at one ball.

Gutierrez has been one of the bright spots this year

if people valued defense correctly, he’s a borderline All-Star

I was thinking Ichiro might not be the automatic Mariners All-Star this year.

Just for a couple days, now I have my doubts.

Felix much?
Oooph and Bedard! I never think about the pitchers until I pull out the ballot.

Sort of weird.

For a guy who hasn't hit for shit over the last few games, his at-bats have been marvelous.

Which is more than enough to get him off the hook relative to the rest of these assholes.

This is pretty much the opposite of Sunday
So, how long did Cedeno sit before getting into this game?
He started.
No, before starting ..
Two weeks ago against Tampa.
I had to go look it up.

April 22nd ..

Neihaus just called Guillen "a very dangerous hombre"
[thatsracist.gif]
Here you are.

http://www.floridafreeways.org/thatsracist.gif

The point was made well enough already.
The Oblique Gods struck the wrong Sean.
Are there any black pitchers named Black?
Yay lets hit everyone
in the head
We shit hit our own players first
Apparently I am contagious
I didn't forget a word, I used the wrong one
Or in your language

I didn’t a word, I used one

I that on circumstances
Speaking of which, let's hit this potatoheaded motherfucker

Your fat drunken white-trash stand-up comedian sister was more talented, Billy Butler.

Why are the bases loaded now?
He's going to walk in a run huh
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
GOD, why did you stick me in Seattle where i have to be a fan of these teams that will never win a championship?
I've never lived in Seattle and I'm still stuck
And to think, you could've chosen the Red Sox or the Yankees.
What made you choose to be an M's fan, Jeff?

I’ve never seen the story.

His parents made him stop cutting as a kid, so he took this up instead
I have an uncle in Seattle and I find rooting for the home team to be gay
He grew up as a child in Boston and wanted to desperately to stand out in a crowd
I hate to take for Jeff but I guess he's busy at work

Long story short he got a attachement to John Olerud while listening to the M’s on Armed Forces Radio while serving in the national guard

I chose to root for Seattle because I lived in Washington DC, didn't have a local team at the time, and thought it would be cute to root for "the other Washington"

There have been stupider criteria upon which to make such decisions, I’m sure, but not many.

Then when the Nats started exchanging players with the M’s I really got heavily back into following them once again.

Oh wait you were asking the other Jeff
That's funny I didn't realize this was about you
It's not my fault that we have the same name, asshole.
Let's be clear: I'm the only really important Jeff in this room.
N.B. I'm alone in my office, so technically this is true.
Yes we got that.

Thanks for explaining the joke.

It's not a joke

God I’m so alone. Help me.

He was responding to me and my username is Jeff
But what is your REAL name?
Aflred
My real name is Jim
lol i guess we should have seen the typos from the start
That's an odd spelling.

Your parents must hate you.

He's part of the birth-certificate bloopers club with Dwyane Wade and Jhonny Peralta
God?
Just accept that you lost out on the head banana and move on
Once we launch the coup I'll be taking over your username.
You're in Chicago right now, right?
It's August 2007
or May 2008
The team was successful prelolablueza dumbfuck
It's late August 2007
I was there for game 1 of Lolla!
Game 3 representing!
Game 2 was really the donkey punch
It's rare that you get to watch the rape of the virgin mary in your own backyard
That was a fun series.
You're a faggot who does faggoty things
Well I am an Angels fan...
I never thought we'd be waving the white flag this early
FIRESALE!
Sell the boat!
That has the potential to be a nickname
For Rob Johnson
Or y'know Sean White
I just pulled a Jefferson

Lord fauntleroy, how many damn runs have we scored in the last 4 games?

Why do the Mariners suck so fucking bad in May every year
Only three more runs. You can do it guys!
Never seen that play successful before this year.

Now we’ve seen it twice.

TWO SOMETHINGS

This team can’t do anything normal

Did Sims just say "mexacutioner"
Greatest nickname of the last few years
Mostly because of the pun
The only good part of The Ox Bow Incident

was “The Mex”

Oh fuck Soria is good
Maybe we will hit him then!
Maybe not.
Or maybe we'll hit him worse than the shitty pitchers
Come on guys, its the fucking Royals.
wozzle wizzle
Now it's fresh and exciting!
This would be a good time for you to hit a 3-run home run, Beltre.

Ah shit.

Jesus Mary and Joseph look at that curveball.
Beltre, the worst clean-up hitter in baseball!
When is the 5th spot the clean-up hitter?
When your team scores 1 run in two games against the Royals.
Can't argue with results!
I'd like you to meet...

I don't think there is going to be a miracle comeback.
We're going to get shutout and swept by the Kansas City Royals

right after we got swept by the Texas Rangers.

The two division leaders?
Salivate my sack, Beltre.
I was late to work to watch this game
sorry, swore I just read a article stating he had the worst OBP for a clean up hitter
Because we're freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

What the hell kind of background is that
I couldn't decide if he was on Mars or is diving into a pile of shit.
That would have to be some mighty homogeneous shit
Which perfectly describes the Mariners lineup!
I'm uncertain, but I think that's a lake full of shit.

Which makes sense.

YES YES YES

So, the left-handed hitters have been the ones getting hits the last two days?

huh.

Where was that in the 7th?!
If Wlad homers I'm going to kill Sean White
Or Ronny, for that error
Sweeeeeeeeeneeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy
That doesn't work as well as Rauuuuuul
I like our odds here
Odd mix of booing the pitcher and cheering for Sweeney
They're booing Mike Sweeney
THAT'S HOW YOU FUCKING TREAT THEM ASSHOLES
Why is our sacrifical clubhouse guy getting booed by the only other team he ever played for
He played for Oakland
I thought they were booing the walk ...
I think they were booing the walk
What about the A's?
Oh I guess your right
It's upto.... Johnson!! Gameover.
Well that's odd.
Woo

I mean, the man hit 83 homers in a season. Let’s go.

82 homers.

Jesus, get your fucking stats right.

C'mon token, hit the ball
YEEEEEHAAAAAAAA

Dave “Ringing single by Mike Sweeney!” I love that guy

So does the crowd root for Sweeney or not?
TAKE TAKE TAKE
OH WAIT RONNY'S UP NEXT

SWING SWING SWING

Ronny's on deck!
Well how bout that.
So why the boos for Sweeney?
Because he only hit well when it didn't matter for the Royals while he was there.
Does that mean we get ARod back?
WOO! A RUN!
Pinch hit ?
...and it's all up to Yuni.
Yuni PH for Ronny!

HOORAY

SORIA IS THROWING LOTS OF STRIKES TOO
Yuni? Baaah
PETR PETR PETR PETR
AHAHAHAHA Yuni is pinch hitting!
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME WAK
Man I hate the assians
Ahahaha Yuni

the best ending to this game.

Huh, didn't see that coming
What the hell?
Betancourt pinch hitting for Cedeno.

Well this is all kinds of McClarenish.

PETR PETR PETR PETR PETR PETR PETR
You can't make this up.
WE HAVE POINTS
Point. Singular.
Is this some kind of LL torture?!?!
NO NO NO SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING

SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING

Uh oh someone is biting your routine.
Seriously
HE'S NOT SWINGING

WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK

I'M MAGIC
MY SWEET DICK ITS A MIRACLE
Two pitches, two swings.
SWING SWING SWING SWING
SWING SWING SWING SWING

SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING SWING

If the winning run gets thrown out at the plate wak deserves to be fired
That would require a hit.
What happened to the outfield camera? Somebody spill a beer on it?
YUNI IF YOU DO SOMETHING AWESOME I WILL NEVER LOVE RONNY AGAIN
WHAT THE FUCK
IT WAS NOT AWESOME ENOUGH HA
Chocolate Rain

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HES TAKING PITCHES WTF?
He's actually taking balls!!
3 balls taken!?
This is why i love baseball!
Whaaaa????
............what?
Holy crap.
ANOTHER MIRACLE
Look 7 comments up ... we see eye to eye.
Look 7 comments up?

Yeah, wrong. Hit refresh, bitch.

And I mean that in a funny manner, not rude.
WALK WALK WALKS!
ANOTHER FUCKING MIRACLE!
GOD HAS HIS EYE ON THE MARINERS TODAY!!
HOLY FUCK A YUNIWALK
HAHAHAHA

Suck it Moyer.

afrhhjkda g;m hsklsam m hi ho hio hjkltl;om jbnkxd,.dx cf.l.l c,kld
Your typos are getting worse
HOLY FUCK WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT HAPPENED AGAIN
Does not compute
OH FUCK! A Yuni WALK!
FUNK WALK!!!!!!!!!!
Who is this guy and what has he done with Yuni?
Confused ?????
I question this decision by Wak.
???????????

What?

TIME TO UPDATE THE MOTHERFUCKING SIDEBAR
BOW CHICKA WOWOWOWO
WTF, YUNI WALK??
And now Ichiro will ground out on the first pitch.
To restore order to the universe
Okay, second pitch
Third pitch, maybe?
There ya go
STOP STOP STOP
Wow we got a call there
So Ichiro hasn't been very good in these situations.
Fucking Ichiro.
Ahh this feeling is familiar
I don't care if we lost - that was awesome.
There ya go M's.
We just got swept twice.

:(

FUCK THE MARINERS FOR LIFE.
Willie just tapped the ump on the butt
"See you tonight. Room 731."
I hate you Mariners. You hurt my feelings
Finding a new way to lose each game! Yay!
So I totally thought Ichiro was going to get a hit there.
Not clutch unless it's for Japan.
Sunday and 2007 disagree
Monday and today agree.
I need a new team..I don't like this one.
Late arrival, early departure for this LL commenter. Time to get the fuck out of here and resume my mourning.
Apparently Ichiro can only hit when there is NO one in scoring position now.
Ichiro's needed a hit 2 of the past 4 games to tie it up on the last out and failed.

LAME.

Line drive one-hopper to shortstop?

That’s how Niehaus called it. I don’t get it.

I love how Ichiro reached four times of five PAs and the one time we actually needed it =(
Not clutch
I'm expecting the "it's all Ichiro's fault" calls to be back on the post-game.
We're shitty again
I miss April
I for one miss last weekend
Wasn't that April?
So after last season the mariners had a team meeting and decided that

the only way they could hurt us more would be to start the season well and get our hopes up, then crash and burn

WE SCORED A RUN!
Hooray, bright side!
I'm so glad this is still LL's home image.

BUT WE ARE GOOD NOW!!!
WE'RE ON A BOAT MOTHERFUCKERS!!

I really thought Ichiro! was going to tie this one up..
It's all HowChuck's fault becuase they decided not to spend the money on Abreu.

so sayeth the caller.

As long as they are taking flak for something, I'm ok with it.
Abreu would have been perfect for this team

34 hits, 29 of which have been singles, and zero home runs.

But then again he does draw a few walks.

And he had so much interest in coming here.

Oh, wait.

I love Johjima!
OOh, even better.

The guy who thinks Wakamatsu missed an opportunity today with Beltre struggling— on the bench was a man who starred at third base for the Kansas City Royals … why not put Mike Sweeney at third and give Beltre a break??

That is a wonderful suggestion! Sweeney has never committed an error in his 0 career innings at 3b.
We could see Branyan at third to give him a day off

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