The moon molester that Branyan hit last night (which you can see here) came in at 459 feet, making it the 11th longest home run hit in the Major Leagues so far this season. And he didn't even pull the ball. People talk about Griffey hitting the Baltimore warehouse all the time, but if Branyan actually got out ahead of a pitch, he might be able to clear it.
Branyan's longball also added to this:
There's so little diversity at the top that HitTracker decided to give credit for last night's homer to Russell's Indian uncle. Russell Branyan is the only Mariner so far this season to hit a home run at least 415 feet, and he's done it eight times. The next longest is Griffey, at 412. What follows is a list of teams arranged in descending order of the number of players they've had hit a homer at least 415 feet:
| BAL | 9 |
| NYY | 9 |
| FLA | 9 |
| ATL | 8 |
| CIN | 8 |
| CLE | 8 |
| COL | 8 |
| KC | 8 |
| TEX | 8 |
| CHC | 8 |
| ARI | 7 |
| BOS | 7 |
| DET | 7 |
| MIL | 7 |
| TB | 7 |
| TOR | 7 |
| WAS | 7 |
| CWS | 6 |
| HOU | 6 |
| MIN | 6 |
| NYM | 6 |
| SF | 6 |
| LAA | 5 |
| OAK | 5 |
| PHI | 5 |
| SD | 5 |
| STL | 5 |
| LAD | 4 |
| PIT | 2 |
| SEA | 1 |
Three teams have had nine different players hit 415+ foot home runs. Seven teams have had eight. Seven teams have had seven. And so on and so forth. One team has had one. The Mariners. I guess the Pirates technically only have one now since they traded Nate McLouth, but then I don't think any baseball fan ever goes to sleep and dreams of his team being statistically tied with the Pirates.
This offense is weak. And Russell Branyan is its saving grace. His batting average is eventually going to regress into more reasonable territory, but that won't stop him from being one of the best acquisitions this team has ever made. While I always liked him, I never thought I'd love him as much as I do right now. Russell, when you're choosing which hat to wear on your Cooperstown plaque, remember this: a lot of teams have signed you, but only one team ever gave you a chance.
0 recs | 56 comments
That's two things in a row that you've called "Fun" that are actually fun.
You’re changing, man.
pdb - June 12, 2009
Our playoff odds are up to 18%
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2009
That's not nothin', which is somethin'.
pdb - June 12, 2009
On to the NL West!
EnglishMariner - June 12, 2009
Our Natural Rivals© won't know what hit 'em!
pdb - June 12, 2009
Time for Yuni to meet his soon to be teammates!
Right? Jack? Right?
Bearskin Rugburn - June 12, 2009
There's still some LL-mandated sadness to it, though, since it points out how the other eight guys in the lineup on any given night are little girls.
Teej - June 12, 2009
I was about to suggest that the 'Fun with Numbers' series
be renamed ‘Gutpunch with Numbers’. What’s fun about quantifying how weak our hitters are?
Bearskin Rugburn - June 12, 2009
redefining where the floor might be!
pdb - June 12, 2009
There is no floor.
andrewgolfsalot - June 12, 2009
It's fun if you only focus on the Branyan part
I’m so deep
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2009
I bet if you look at teams with the greatest number of players hitting over 125' popups
we’d be right up there with the cream of the crop.
Bearskin Rugburn - June 12, 2009
Russell Branyan is a dreamy mofucka
abender20 - June 12, 2009
I think the correct term is Native American
Dewey N - June 12, 2009
Unless he was referring to his uncle Srinivasa Branyan
pdb - June 12, 2009
Mariners offense: .258/.312/.394
Mariners offense without Russell Branyan: .252/.301/.372
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2009
Fun!
pdb - June 12, 2009
Take out Ichiro too
Graham MacAree - June 12, 2009
now you're just being masochistic
pdb - June 12, 2009
I think the answer is .236/.283/.354
Graham MacAree - June 12, 2009
Which what
Graham MacAree - June 12, 2009
Yuni is an above average non-awesome mariner!
Bearskin Rugburn - June 12, 2009
yeeeeeeeeccccccccch
pdb - June 12, 2009
So our offense without Ichiro and Branyan is Jose Lopez.
Aaron Campeau - June 12, 2009
With less power.
Aaron Campeau - June 12, 2009
That's not fun.
Jed MC - June 12, 2009
That's like fielding a lineup of the return from the Guillen trade
Graham MacAree - June 12, 2009
Sadly, the actual return from the Guillen trade has that line beat hands down.
It’s just that it’s for Detroit.
marc w - June 12, 2009
Holy moley that's bad
OlSalty - June 12, 2009
Can I just take a moment to point out how crazy it is that three teams have had nine players hit the ball a country mile?
I mean, that’s a lineup worth. Shit. So much for parity.
Bearskin Rugburn - June 12, 2009
What?
Where does parity come from?
Matthew - June 12, 2009
Sometimes, when a big market team really loves a small market team...
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2009
Are you sure he's ready for this talk?
pdb - June 12, 2009
Sometimes, when a big market team sees a small market team at the bar and thinks it looks good but it won't give it the time of day...
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2009
...roofies
Graham MacAree - June 12, 2009
...aint nothin but love misspelled.
Bearskin Rugburn - June 12, 2009
Parity comes from roofies and date rape
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2009
Or the CBA
Fin - June 12, 2009
$1.4 Million!
Yuni, Lopez, Griffey, and Chavez cost more money than he does!
ThundaPC - June 12, 2009
Also, Felix and Bedard combined are paid less than Carlos Silva.
The world is an unfair place.
Fin - June 12, 2009
Branyan gives me a boner.
Already above league average, been worth nearly 10x as much as we’re paying him.
Zwakamatsu - June 12, 2009
"a lot of teams have signed you, but only one team ever gave you a chance."
He will be a hall of fame Mariner if he makes it.
Now my question is, we all have hard ons for Branyan now, but what if next year after he is given the large contract extension he deserves and he starts sucking as bad as 2007-08 Sexson, are we going to all hate on him then?
Fin - June 12, 2009
Not to the same degree, since he won't get that much money
but yes, it will be unpleasant. I hope and trust that Branyan’s season doesn’t compel Zduriencik to give him a bigger extension than he deserves.
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2009
What are the odds that Branyan is actually around next year?
Will Z really extend him?
If we tank it in July, we could trade him. How loyal would he be during free agency? Do you think he returns to the team who gave him a shot?
Pete_ - June 12, 2009
Let's hope he continues to destroy the show, and gets traded for some really hot young left handed pussy.
He is 33 afterall and we have quite a lot waiting in the wings in the minors.
EnglishMariner - June 12, 2009
Although none of that talent is capable of making routine deposits in the left field bleachers.
abender20 - June 12, 2009
That should be left-center
abender20 - June 12, 2009
Is Branyan comparable to 2007 Carlos Pena?
Flamefox111 - June 12, 2009
In what way?
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2009
They walk a lot, strike out a lot and hit the ball really far.
But Pena was a “failed prospect” who was given another chance (or his first real chance?) and blew up. Branyan had been in the majors for a long time, but was never a full-time player.
I don’t see a great comparison, but if you’re talking about “finally getting an opportunity and sodomizing it,” then sure.
Teej - June 12, 2009
"finally getting an opportunity and sodomizing it,"
Excellent.
CapSea - June 13, 2009
At our house, when Branyan comes to bat...
…someone yells “Paul Bunyan,” and everyone gathers around the teevee to watch him swing his might axe…
Paul Bunyan!!!
glennpdx - June 12, 2009
I've never seen TV spelled that way.
Robert - June 13, 2009
Does Branyan actually have a legitimate shot at the HOF?
Or is this just speculation?
Slow Country - June 12, 2009
Just a joke.
No chance at all.
Teej - June 12, 2009
The Giants have SIX (!!!!) players who've hit a home run at least 415 feet?
Wowzas
baetown415 - June 12, 2009
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