Lookout Landing

So I had no idea that Clint Hurdle was gone

I know a lot about the Rockies

Todd Helton plays for the Rockies, and Matt Holliday used to be

This concludes my knowledge of the Rockies

When the hell are we going to face Pedro Astacio

10 years ago

I miss the old Rockies

All this faggy humidor science has robbed them of their identity

They led the league in runs despite being one of the worst offensive teams.

Stupid second string professional players

Hey guys I just got in. Has anything interesting Hawpened in this game?

Morrow imploded the way you'd imagine he would.

Everybody including me who has punned tonight should be embarrassed

At least Holliday is no longer on the team.

I thought we were being ironically bad

I should have waited for a better opportunity with my Ianetta pun

God Doumit

Time to recycle the Maholm puns

This is all Fogel's fault. I blame Jimenez imitators.

You made this Messenger gonna clean it up.

I'm putting this on a tshirt.

This is still my best pun ever and it makes me angry that recs were passe when I made it.

Here's one.

In my head it's a Fogel pun so I think I will rec Fogel

You son of a bitch

I thought I came up with this pun

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/6/13/908664/6-13-open-game-thread-part-2#16957463

But I can give my rec to Poochie now

Hooray!

Clearly there is some sort of subversive movement against me.

Or you could've linked to your old pun up there and I would've wrecked you

Now you get your rec for Gomez mockery

How many do I get for driving him away?

We all drove Gomez away as a team

Keep telling yourself that.

And yet we downplay the value of good chemistry

You didn't exist

what

I will also rec you for this.

I didn’t mind Gomez until he removed me as a friend from Facebook, because I’m apparently too entrenched in LL.

Gomez's conspiracy theories were the best

The best part is that they were re-destination paradoxes

*pre

Did Robert ever show you the chat log?

I hope he will!

Hooray!

Boy it's going to be awkward if we sit next to each other at the USSM gettogether

Samesies

C for effort

DEFENSE

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

ICHIRO!!!!!!!!

Beast.

Torrid - June 13, 2009 reply

That is one speedy little fucker!

WOOHOO YOU ARE THE FUCKING MAN ICHI

Hey now.

If he had dived for that he would be the talk of the town

I guess he's already the talk of the town

FUCK

Ichiro's brilliance wasted

God....

Of course.

So our flirt with the playoffs lasted two days

I had this all ready for the post mortum last night

Sure was fun when we were at .500 again

Another season-ruining Rockies series!

When does Gutierrez get hurt?

Two days ago

This seems to be a recurring theme

Thursday?

I meant seriously hurt

Late

What

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/6/12/907750/6-12-open-game-thread#16925690
http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/6/12/907750/6-12-open-game-thread#16929863

I skim missed game threads

Also those could have been clearer

I'm all about being sly

You need to ramp it up to my level of obsessiveness if you wanna get the job done.

At least this one happened before we traded prospects for rent-a-players.

My team seems to not hit baseballs good

That's a shame.

Boo

Fucking hell

That was fun.

Wow our offense gets shut down in Coors Field

unbelievable

Yep. That inning sucked, but holding the other team to 3 runs at that band box has to be enough.

Must be nice to have good hitters.

WHY THE FUCK CAN WE NOT FIND A DESIGNATED HITTER WHO CAN HIT SOME DINGERS

SERIOUSLY GUYS THIS IS GOD DAMN ANALLY HUMILIATING

We don't even have a DH tonight

I know!

No, I mean literally we don't.

EVERETT PEREZ BROUSSARD VIDRO GRIFFEY THIS WOULD EVEN BE A SHITTY BENCH

Solved

No fags please

He could wear a speedo and a sparkly gold tank top on field if he could OPS .800

Well.... good start towards getting back in it I guess

Auto-ball!

GRIFFEY WALKED GRIFFEY WALKED GRIFFEY WALKED

Tailor made DP situation.

ResponsibleByNature.com?

LOPES!

OHHHHH FUCK YESSSSSSS

HOLY SHIT AOSIBASNOIFJAEOIFJNWEOAIGUJAEOIUJAOIEFJAOIEFUJ

JOSE LOPEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOPEZ!!!!

WORLD SERIES

YES

KA-POW!

Most predictable homerun ever

Are we going to win?

I guarantee it.

Maybe we should ask Fogel

JOSE LOPEZ ROCKS!

joof - June 13, 2009 reply

HOLY SHIT

I LOVE LOPEZ AT THIS MOMENT! ONLY THIS MOMENT THOUGH!

LOAFIE!!!!!!!!!

I am in love with him right now

Dude you called it!

Woo!

HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD WE TIED THE GAME!

Eff!

I changed the channel after Lopez’s homerun.

I have missed every Sounders goal for the past three weeks.

YOU ARE a NERD

So I guess he's not getting traded.

gay

Well color me fucking surprised.

That was another shitty ass nothing homer down the line

Good grief.

Woo!

ewakio - June 13, 2009 reply

Damn

How the tits did Hawpe of all people track that down

AND JUNIOR STIRRED THE POT BITCHES

Yuni almost went deep the other way

Ouch.

Where is KEYROWS

FREDDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is so much better than baseball.

Bannable offense?

Baseball blows

Robert - June 13, 2009 reply

GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL ASKSKAKSKDAKSDKAKSD

Nick S - June 13, 2009 reply

There are no goals in baseball

I envy you

If I still had my MLB.tv subscription I would be in heaven right now

Nick S - June 13, 2009 reply

Some of us envy him less because we have already been to multiple Sounders games

Robert - June 13, 2009 reply

shut the fuck up broberto

FUCKING NL STRIKE ZONE

Oh yeah. The black is much, much thicker.

No way that was a strike

Momentum exists

The 33-year momentum, inexorably leading us to a championship?

I like Gutierrez better when he had more power than Jarrod Washburn's underage girlfriend

Jose Lopez almost has a better OPS than Griffey

Great then we can trade Lopez!

Just got in;

… Junior started in left?

I dunno, did he?

So Mark Lowe is a moron

Lowe is just stupid as hell

What in the mother fuck

Dammit dammit dammit...

Jesus Christ

Here’s where we won’t be tied anymore

Pbbbbbbbt

Throwing the ball away is the worst thing you could do there.

Who does he think he is? Beltre?

Mark Lowe should definitely eat it

It being his hat

Two bunts, then a loss!

Lowe is going to Beltre so he can know how it's done next time.

HMMMM

ads'opqw fjerjgfaDJLSFEKW:f:"

DAMMIT LOWE!

LAME

FUCK YOU, LOWE

Sigh

Mark Lowe is a fucking retard holy shit

Oh you just knew that wasn't going to go well

FUCKING MORON

Huston Street time!

Wonderful.

Mark Lowe is a stupid head

Beltre saved a run, for the moment

I liked Beltre's staredown

YOU THROW A BASEBALL FOR A LIVING

NOT THAT WAY HE DOESN'T

I was actually just typing this in a more elaborate fashion.

But you said it best I see, haha.

We need to urge the MLB to let us stand a 10th fielder next to Lowe for fielding purposes.

Morrow is the only Mariner pitcher to strike anyone out today.

If they don't bunt again they're stupid as hell

Well, this is going well.

He had him by five feet with a good throw

Why can't we run on all cylinders for just ONE game.

Oh yeah, that’s right, it’s because we’re not good enough.

Ugh!

Playoffs?

I'm optimistic!

Relegation?

Well that tie lasted a long time.

Every single person in the stands is caucasian

Don Baylor told me all the blacks are playing golf these days.

It ain't called Colt .45 Field

Some teams are really good.

sigh.

You would hope that basic fielding skills would not determine which is which

This is going to be one of those annoying losses

I wonder if Huston Street still has radioactive teeth?

Question

If a pitcher spews retard all over the field with errors, and a run comes in to score, is it then an earned run?

It's 60 degrees. How is Mark Lowe so sweaty?

?

Crystal meth would explain a lot.

ignacio - June 13, 2009 reply

Is Josh Hamilton his dealer?

You have to suspect steroids in this day in age.

(Yippee! I get to be on ESPN on Monday!)

Hit the tanning booth first.

I am going to have them shadow my face out and turn my voice creepy as to stay anonymous.

Why is the crowd booing when Lowe throws to first?

That’s got the chance to be a free base!

The Texas is losing

No kidding?

Angels win

You left out words again

San Diego is losing too.

But I fail to see how either team’s record is relevant to us.

The Colorado is winning.

Good beer?

I like calling them The Texas now

Better than puns

Arguable

Much more endearing

I think what Jimenez "the rangers"

You are a terrible person.

I called Barry Bonds "The Bonds" from 2002-2004 but I never caught on.

*It

Maybe I should have had a blog

You really should.

You know, if you cut Alaska into two states

then Texas would be the third-biggest state.

Is Spillborghs hispanic?

Ianetta seen a worse defensive inning by a pitcher

This inning is a Hurdle that Lowe cannot seem to clear

That one got a little bit of a chuckle.

Wow, you must have missed the entire 2006 World Series

Adaire Mark Lowe to throw a strike...

I am ashamed.

Ianetta been able to understand why one pun makes so many other people want to make puns

We just wanna Hawpe onto the pun train.

But then they get progressively more Fowler.

I don't think any of us could go that Lowe.

You guys are pathetic

Telepathetic.

We'll get better by To-Morrow!

Jesus Christ

I want it on record that I have never punned on Lookout Landing.

I'm horribly god awful at puns, we should have a horrible shitty pun thread

Kermit. - June 13, 2009 reply

We already have

it’s called every pun thread we’ve ever had without Fogel in it.

I can't believe my terrible Texieria pun was the best one.

I liked it!

Hooray!

(So did I)

I also thought this was a good pun.

I'd rather we took a Holliday from bad puns using baseball player names.

We'll do it in person. I'll bring a pen and a piece of paper.

Same, but only because I know the output would be Torrealba.

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/5/29/893008/5-29-open-game-thread#16352358

Whoops a doodle!

Dammit :(

Griffey would Wakamatsu this Yuni thread and Burke it.

Am I doing this right?

That's pretty Lowe of you.

I think puns allow people Texieria common love of language

Fossum people feel Campillo'ed to

reason*

Crap

Oh boy that's gooooood

Kermit. - June 13, 2009 reply

Wow this is a shitty game

I hate it

According to Gameday, Mark Lowe's out pitch is a pitch he doesn't throw

That actually makes a lot of sense.

Get that man a towel for his neck.

Wow, I really thought there were two outs

Any optimism I had has suddenly been doused with a cold bucket of Mark Lowe.

So do you think our bullpen thinks his name is Walkamatsu?

Walk-ball!

This is just horrible

This is stinky.

So Lowe kinda sucks.

m's need a dp rite here

Ianetta been so angry at Mark Lowe

Sigh

FUCK YOU LOWE

Nice job keeping the game tied Lowe, you fuck

Fuck you M's, as usual

?

Why Ianetta

It is a pretty LOWE point

Using Lowe isn't even a pun, it just sucks

You're WRIGHT

That one is no good either.

I'd like to see HOWE you'd do better.

If you can work in Luc Richard Mbah a Moute I'll be impressed.

Haha

Do you dare me?

Because Adaire you.

.

;)

Please no Moyer.

Delight.

Holy crap he fielded the ball

Why it's difficult to win baseball games Ianetta Lowe.

That inning featured two grounders to the pitcher, one bunt, two walks, and two fly outs

The "D" Behind Marquis and the Starter Trek

Colorado is whiter than we are.

.

Kermit. - June 13, 2009 reply

This isn't from Cannibal!.

Union Station's clock is wrong.

While all other public infrastructure runs so smoothly

Huston Street's face has always been uncomfortable to look at

I don't follow

LOOK AT SOMETHING ELSE PLEASE

He could be your idiot brother

No offense to your idiot brother if you already have one

I said the same thing to AK1984's sister.

I do!

Seems like Robert-bait to me

He'd be good on a Real World/Road Rules challenge

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Dammit he can't retire after that hit

A Sweeney hit.

Pinch-runner?

but who

Ichiro, Branyan, Beltre coming up......

…..

So an Ichiro single then a Branyan homerun

Hit a ding ding dinger Ichiro, come on homes

So I hear Mark Lowe did not have a good outing.

Technically he didn't get hit hard

That's a homer in new Yankee Stadium

Considering the problem has been right field I bet it's not

It was essential for my thought out win plan that Ichiro get a hit.

Well now victory is impossible

No I just need to formulate a new plan

Better formulate fast

I'd root for a homerun.

But that just ties the game setting us up for a walkoff loss.

But we could bring in Tits.

Aardsma!

Maybe we'd lose on a play where their runner doesn't actually touch home plate but nobody cares

Can we bring Griffey off the bench

Nope

These rules are retarded

It's a shame that we have to play by baseball rules on the remainder of this road trip.

We can change them once we get home

Some bullshit about no DH at an NL park

YEAH, who the hell do they think they are?

Carl Everett would come in handy here.

Why? a small child needing to be hit?

Just homer already

Way to fuck up my play dicklick

BRANYAN!

Hooray!

Helllooooo Russell!

PLEASE STAY HOT BELTRE!!

Branyan is a white god

RUSSELL BRANYAN IS SEXY

Park one, Beltre.

Okay, now I can root for a homerun.

Beltre will get a hit or GIDP.

There is no in-between.

A strike out?

meh

Now who's the dean?

Most overrated line ever

Lick my asshole clean until you can see your face in it

Jesus Christ.

I don't think you can see His face in Jeff's asshole.

Unless you believe the Weekly World News.

I'm oretty sure I was told not to this by my D.A.R.E. officer

That's a pretty specific recommendation

He also told me not to drink beer

Nice move by Cedeno.

Cedeno has got hops.

I liked watching Ronny do the bunny hop.

I want Depth, Adrian

That's what he said!

BE A HERO

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

btw is Red at this one too?

YES NIEHAUS WITH A RED/Bobblehead mention!

C'mon Red make Beltre win this.

If Red wields that kind of power then I will be sorely disappointed by his effort in 2009 to date

He danced away from a pitch right down the pipe

fgnbbfvdss

He swung when it was in the catcher's mitt

Beltre sucks

Ugh

Surprise!

poop nuggets

We should post Balfour Bonds so this lineup doesn't suck so bad

ENDY WILL IT A HR RIGHT HERE!

Fugly

God dammit Beltre

We lose little by having Endy here instead

Just kidding Endy appears to have sudden onset retardation

Clean-up!

Oh Lord please grantest us the high hilarity of an Endy Chavez homerun.

Coors is the place to do it

If Endy gets on Lopez will hit a 3 run homer

Or even a 4-run homer.

I see you've formulated your new plan.

C'mon Endy, prolong my inevitable disappointment

Maybe Endy can get Barmes to pull a Casilla here.

What the fuck is he doing

Still trying that bunt...?

this is a fantastic at bat

I question whether this is the time to bunt ourselves to victory

Here comes the K.

Endy looks like Willie Randolph with no hitting ability

I can't believe he didn't swing at that.

Sigh. It’s only a matter of time.

Well, good night

FUCKING IDIOTS

Should have stayed with the bunt

IDIOT FUCKING TARDS

What a fucking shitty day

Torii Hunter hit three home runs and the Mariners lost

FUCK YOU

Well that was fun.

Thanks, Lowe.

Yeah you better look sad Lowe

Well, that's a predictable feeling.

SELL

Oh, hey, look, we're not going to win this series.

So much for our mild warm streak.

Anybody think we're not getting swept?

Nah we probably are

Too tepid to enjoy throughly.

We're the best error-prone defensive team in baseball.

Every single fan in that stadium tonight was a US citizen

Weird.

Denver must keep all its minorities together in jail

I certainly hope so.

Well, the Sounders are winning

Nobody cares about faggot ass soccer

Except a healthy proportion of this blog

Those people are smelly euros

I saw a Sounders game. It was fun.

Like an indie pop/punk EP. Fun, upbeat, and it was over before it got annoying.

I like how he bunted

Would have been safe

I would really like to see Wak's thought process on when to bunt expressed in flowchart form

Now that you asked he won't do it.

He can always hide this and pretend like it was his idea

Eventually this place is going to be so big that someone thinks of all my ideas before I can post them and then there will be zero content

I'm guessing that was Endy's idea twice

Two times he thought it would be a good idea to bunt

Seems like a bad idea.

Wait, how many outs in an inning?

And back to the Sounders.

Good thing that even though we lost, Bedard helped his trade value with the start today

>:(