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Lookout Landing

7/12: Open Game Thread, Part 3

We have scored a remarkably unimpressive five runs.

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Lowe then Aardsma?
It's the Mariner way.
Two outs, SO WHAT?

Just like in 2001.

1995.
But we actually had the sign in 2001

I remember some folks would hang it over the edge of the left field bleachers every time we get 2 outs starting around July if not earlier.

1995.
Refuse to lose
Yup 1995 was the "Refuse to Lose" year.
I don't think it kicked in until late in the season, I can't remember now
Yes

Because we sucked, as was usual, until August 1995 when all of a sudden we became awesome.

Didn't we actually make the playoffs that year?
Of course

Don’t you remember game 5 at the Dome? The day the Mariners earned Seattle’s love in many ways, so awesome.

The Dome?

What the fuck?

What, I can't call the Kingdome

The Dome?

What the hell is the Kingdome?
You are just yanking my chain aren't you?

Either that or you’re like 11.

He's actually ten.

But very advanced for his age.

That's not COPPA compliant.
Just ignore Matthew.

He’s something of the resident prankster around here, but he means well.

Got it

Every blog needs one.

Nothing beats the time I convinced everyone that the Rays were going to be good in 2008.

You fuckers all bought it.

I have friends who think I'm a baseball genius because of this prediction.
I won money because of this prediction.

I donated part of it to the LL fund, but I think Jeff may have used it to buy a jersey.

Sigh.
There was a one game playoff! Griffy saved saved the season!

I’ll send you the press clippings. It was terribly exciting

Sir, I love you.
I was a Yankee fan till recently so I didn't really care about Mariner stuff till after the 04 season
It was against the Yankees

So I would have thought you’d remember it, oh well.

Robert is only 8 years old
My wife is going need some explaining
Remember, if she's only nine it's acceptable.
(n/2)+3 rule

so 7 should be OK, too.

Be gentle with Robert.

He’s a little simple and he gets angry when you imply he’s stupid.

I only followed them from 96 to 04 than I became a Sawk fan.

I only watch the Mariners cause I’m living in Seattle.

And both were fan-created slogans
For some reason I've alway credited Niehaus with the "two outs.." and Buhner with the refuse to lose

Weird.

Oh, shit. Really?

How could I have made such a foolish error!

"Well-opportuned success spot"

And the slogan for the 2009 Mariners is born

That was classic.
Because Shelton is the man

And needs more playing time.

Guess who gets the win if this lead holds?
Oh what a tangled tit web we weave.
He did it on purpose.
You're just unimpressed because the majority of our singles have been dirtier than the ones on the floor at Deja Vu.
How long have you been waiting to crack out that gem
I feel legitimately bad that a team has to lose to us today
I disagree.

Today always felt like we were winning.

I feel the need to interject that we have not yet won
THANK YOU
I am now confident in our abilty to win
We are like black people and white people
Living in perfect harmony?
I disagree...

The way in which we are winning is by using impressive intangibles that have been impressively used as weapons at the most opportune times.

How very exacting of us.
I havent been all that impressed with Texas today.
Neither have I but have you seen how we scored our runs?
I take it you don't find our singles attack all that impressive?
Rob Getting-The-Job-Done Johnson

Best thing my dad’s managed to think up all weekend.

Does your dad know that Rob Johnson sucks

If not, inform him

Oh, I have.

I’ve learned all sorts of things from lurking here this season, and that’s certainly one of them. Unfortunately, he just likes to think up dumb names. His previous try this afternoon was “Metro Magic!” for Franklin.

Can we just refer to him as RMFJ?
Rob Johnson in the old days when he played against Sing Sing

Pitch Lowe, sweet Chariot

Come to get us a 3-1 series win!

Jeter, Teixiera, AROD

One run is all I ask

You would think this trio could score a run.
Not when we care about it!
It's down to Bitch Tits
FUCK A ROD
That's how it works, yes
So I hate the Angels again
All against a lefty closer too
Geez, the Halos play better without Torii Hunter

Trade him! We’ll buy.

I'd rather see Olson to face Hamilton-Jones-Blalock...but whatever.
I'm not sure if I want to find out what Lowe's Rubout slider is
I wish Bill would do the broadcast every day!
Thanks, I'd blocked that out for five minutes
"A rub out slider"?

I thought it was illegal to put foreign substances on the baseball for pitching purposes.

Sounds like RRS did good today.
The line looks good.

Any word on where his fastball was sitting?

7IP, 2H, 1BB, 4K, 84 pitches, 9GO, 7FO
He's a Major League Pitcher, you know.
Nice pitch!
CJ Wilson looks like he goes to the petting zoo to pet the petters
Wooooooooo!
Nice inning by Lowe

He’s good when he uses that changeup

CH!
Kenji may have more CS, but Rob is setting up for another CS
This bout of cleverness is getting fresher by the minute!
Hehe

I’m just going to keep making the same joke until it gets not funny. Then I will continue until it gets funny again.

m's need a dp rite here
So Lowe has looked outstanding these last few days
I wonder why. It's almost like he's starting to mix in an other pitch, a slower pitch...
Maybe he reads USSM
So Lowe has looked sexy lately
yeah lowe!

Nice work

SIT THE MOTHERFUCKING FUCK DOWN!!!
UNO DOS TRES!

Well done Lowe!

YOUR BREAKING BALLS ARE MAKING ME HOT
Do they make you want to rub one out?

Perhaps that is what Krueger was getting at.

That'll do, pig.
"Called strike three!"

No, Rick. That’s a swing.

Mark Lowe's Slider...

steals the souls of toddlers and puggle puppies.

Epic Fail...

meant to say “Change up”.

That was a sick strikeout pitch

LOVE IT!

So would it be unreasonable to hope that Lowe has figured it out all of a sudden?
This has happened once before this year I believe
To hope?
Would it be unreasonable to expect Lowe to have figured it out and be consistently good going forward?
It would be a stretch
Take, Ronny!
4-pitch walk to Cedeno should get you immediately sent down.
A-Rod strikes out. Yankees get swept.

What a bunch of balloey.

Damn you Kate Hudson
"..we'll be in the Hudson..."
This upsets me to no end

Why can’t they just lose?

Anyone else find it pathetic that Jeter, Tex, and A-Rod couldn't do ANYTHING against Brian Fuentes?
Nothing better than walking Cedeno
Fuck the Yankees and the Angels.
This is the fucking thanks we get for taking 2 out of 3 from the Red Sox
Ball 6...not a strike
First time Ronny's reached base three times
Not with NOLA it isn't.
So these are the secrets I spill after too many beers.
Apparently it's not just secrets that you're spilling after too many beers
My goodness
He's on fire today.
I had a near death experience this morning so my mind is sharp.
It appears that you did not fall so I find this near-death thing hard to believe.
HARROWING
Fine, how about near-pretty battered and maybe concussed
Did the concussion knock you back to your senses?
near-maybe concussed. I didn't crash
I think we just looped ourselves
You spill other things
My beer?
What else could I have ever meant
I also spill condiments
I read that wrong
How could you spill a condom?
Open your wallet quickly
Or what Jeff was thinking, which is more gross
And will likely happen if the condom was in your wallet as long as Robert's has been
It's just for decoration anyway
Go jack off a crack pipe
Certainly was.
ah goddammit
Yeah, it sure was an accident when you spilled that condimentirely all over the place
I like Cedeno.
He's like a young Jose Lopez.
Who walks more.
young Jose Lopez hit
Griffey is such a dork
Don looked at him like he was crazy.
HEY! BROADCAST TEAM!

THERE’S A FREAKING GAME GOING ON

They were chatting about ERA before that

so it’s better this way.

You're just jealous of Bill Krueger's virile black hair
Why don't they just give Sweeney the moose costume and get it over with
You can't be a veteran leader inside of the suit
Please HR thanks.
Who is that fat fuck?
Jose isn't that big

yet

Russ needs to really try and get out of this slump

Over the break.

Slumpbuster!
I volunteer to pinch-slump bust
..and now on the monud for the Rangers, a Brunswick bowling pin...
Everybody see this?

What was this in regard to?
After the Ichiro called strikeout
A comparison

Haha

That is also the exact some dance move the guy who won the rally fries did!

Okay seriously

WTF is our guy doing on the right?

Morrow is "warming up"
Freaky

So THAT’s why we sent him down :-).

That and not throwing anything but his fastball.
Warming up his arms
I also like the angry woman at the bottom of the screen...

who appears to be trying to blow a ball of fire onto the field.

That's a woman?
Wait, bottom left or bottom middle?
Good catch...sha has an angry dragon lady cousin who creeps into the picture at the end
Are you sure the bottom middle one is a woman?
I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
I'll take your word for it
Pectoral fly to grow his breasts
That kid could only hope to be as talented as Brandon Morrow at the double wanking.
This seems to have come out slightly wrong.
I think Morrow's trying to distract us from endless line of people walking into the stargate.
On the Ichiro K?
WIER MUSSEN DIE JUDEN AUSSAFECO
Oh he's not heiling at the end. Nevermind.
Oh come on he does look like a little Hitlerjugend.
Well done. My thoughts exactly.
Dang Texas carries a lot of pitchers

13 by my count on their 25-man roster.

Be nice to see Guti hit one last time before the break.
I hope we don't

That would require Aardsma blowing this save

Until Thursday, Guti.

Enjoy your break, you deserve it.

ARRGHHHHHHHHH, It's Aardsma time!

Let’s rock!

Fuck these guys in their nose!
Based on 100% of the Mariner's games I've attended in person, Aardsma will blow this save.
Guys I am scared :(
Smooth waters ahead!
Still looked like he double clutched it
But they couldn't stop Jack or the fans from clapping

And they couldn’t prevent Jack from being scrappy

Nice
I've been waiting. I like Scrappy Jack.

Unfortunately it doesn’t have any penis jokes

Maybe there's some room to work in the whole Isle of Man line

With our new 3B and rampant diabetes in the pitching staff

Well alreet, well alroot, well alright!
That was a stupid 0-2 pitch but hooray!
Ok, now for Aardsma heart attack time
Hush you!
Every damn time
It's all your fault
More the person who wants a Guti home run
Yes well he isn't great
There was one time against the Red Sox were it was really quick.
Safeco is loud!

Actually loud!

One more out.
THERE'S A GUY IN A UCLA SHIRT
He probably bought it to balance out you buying a Lopez jersey
You're not alone!
Everyone has a Trojans jersey in their wallet
Clever and original!
Except Leinart, apparently.
OFF WITH HIS HEAD
He wants your attention
Batista in line for the win?

sighs

I want a post-game interview.
Kiss our collective scrotum, Texas!
I elect not to be a part of this "collective scrotum."
Stupid David Murphy....

hate this asshole.

They're all up!!!!
Fucking mlb.tv wont return from its break...
Are you sure you are not on NexDef?
I dont know it keeps switching, restarted it and it is back on though. Missed the first 2 outs.
Please tell me someone saw the guy

with the weird tooth rope thing. Right before the first pitch to Murphy.

Please get Andrus
That sure looked good
WHAT THE FUCK UMP
He's not working the ASG-- he doesn't care
That was a strike
RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE
Come on , Blue!
I will forever call him Androos instead of Andrews
He's been calling a lot of those balls all game.
I think this strike zone is an inverted W

either that or a strange paralellogram that doesn’t include the inside corner to righties

hmmm....

wouldn’t an inverted “W” be an “M”?

WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STRIKE THREE BITCHES
WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WAY TO END THE FIRST HALF

FUCK YOU!!!!
I LOVE EVERYTHING!!!
WE WON THE SERIES! !!! WE WON WE WON WE WON!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
GAME OVER!

WE WIN!

FUCK YOUR PITCHING, TEXAS
And off to the plane!

so does Wak get on the plane first and put on the earphones really quickly, or delay until the last so that he can avoid sitting near Jr?

Win vulture!
3 OUT OF 4 FROM TEXAS

3 OUT OF 4 FROM TEXAS

I'm just glad we got off the field before getting hit with a ball of flame from that woman
THE SEASON IS NOT OVER
FUCK YES

NOW GET BUSY JACK

HOW THE FUCK ARE THE ANGELS 49-37
I don't know it's bullshit
Luckiest team in baseball according to BaseRuns
This sounds familiar
THEY DO INTANGIBLE THINGS THAT WE SHOULD STOP IGNORING
...EVERY FUCKING YEAR!!!
Why am I not suprised?
Because BaseRuns is a biased statistic designed to make you guys look worse than you are
I KNEW it!
SABERMETRICS IS A PLOY
THE CAKE IS A LIE
Angels in the Outfield.
HOW THE FUCK DID THE YANKEES BLOW A 4-RUN LEAD IN TWO GAMES?
Same way we blew an 8-1 lead to the Halos
"A lot of success can be spread across this lineup"

Yay Bill Krueger.

Watching the Futures Game and Liddi is up and Gillies is fast as shit.
Any M's?
Liddi has drawn 2 walks. Gillies has had a bunt hit and stolen two bases.
They're both younger than me. Yikes.
Is the game on TV?
ESPN Dos.

Turns out it isn’t drag racing, as the info button would lead you to believe.

That's what threw me off when I glanced at the guide.
Not only that.

On MLB.com. FOR FREE.

Gillies is the guy who is deaf, right?
Why don't you just ask him
Erin Andrews says yes.

It’s a great story, so they say.

He might be a jerk
Because he might be deaf, and unable to hear my question.
Though apparently he can read lips, so whatever.
Everyone loves

Rob Johnson.

Everyone loves a Johnson
New York deserves another terrorizing
They just were
Mission Accomplished. ;-)
Wow Chris Shelton is really weird looking

Like a deformed version of Simon Pegg’s face

That's okay, he'll be rich soon

Then it won’t really matter

He is very unattractive
I was thinking "Corky" from Life Goes On.
Put a paper bag on his head and he's fine
2009 Mariners: "Well-opportuned success spot"!
Why is Rob Johnson the go-to interviewee after games?
Why do you think?
Because he's white?
He really is the new Willie
ONE WORD YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND: ACCOUNTABILITY
First half MVP
Maybe he will be the next Bill Krueger
NO SALE!
SELL WASHBURN NOW!

Fifth best ERA! Shiny!

BARTER WASHBURN FOR A SHORTSTOP!
We lost ground to the Angels during this series
That's because the Angels won 3/3 and we won 3/4

Simple fractions

Yeah. Next time do the math before you post a dumb question.
It was a statement
My post was a serious critique!
Let's just make this clear. I was making fun of Robert.
I know, I just like to run things into the ground
but we didn't beat ourselves, we did all we could do really.
We could have won on Friday
We could have lost on Thursday
Yeah, we could have won that Yankee series too.
Batista takes another win.

Look 6 wins! 6! Trade! Trade! Trade!

Oh lordy.

Vinnie is hosting the postgame show.

That dude needs to donate a good 2/3 of his tongue to science so the rest will actually fit in his mouth.
Fuck Anaheim
I couldn't agree more.
Man it's fun to watch Gutierrez play in person

It’s also fun to shout “Nippert” many, many times.

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