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Lookout Landing

All Star Game Open Thread


Ichiro Suzuki

#51 / Right Field / Seattle Mariners

5-11

170

L

R

Oct 22, 1973



Felix Hernandez

#34 / Pitcher / Seattle Mariners

6-3

225

R

R

Apr 08, 1986



Adam Jones

#10 / Center Field / Baltimore Orioles

6-2

210

R

R

Aug 01, 1985



I can't believe how little I care about this. Uh, knock 'em dead, guys.

0 recs  |  1207 comments

Comments

No, you are absolutely not to discuss the ceremonial first pitch
Well where's the fun in THAT?! >_>
Did anyone actually read this comment?
A few of us.
I know the answer to this!
*begins whistling, walking away slowly*
What if it is really funny?
I think "absolutely not" covered it.
Hey, the ASG is quasi-baseball

and I want to see Ichiro-Li’lTim

The Celebrity/Legends Softball Game was incredible last night.

Nationals should sign Nelly.

FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX
Adam Jones : (
At least he looks like a retard in his picture

That’s something

I am super happy Adam Jones is living up to what we all wanted him to be.
I've been watching for 3 minutes and I've already seen enough Chris Rose.
Well, that's normal.
Um...uh..no politics?

Also, LETS GO FELIX AND ICHIRO! And I guess the rest of the AL too. Whatever.

I think All-Star games are cool

Everyone else is bitter and miserable

DON WAKAMATSU!!!!!!!!
Vitor Artinez.
Buehrle got an oddly enthusiastic hand
Yeah, that was ind of odd.
kind of.
Listening to the applause as they went down the rest of the line, I think they may actually know who the All Stars are...
Buehrle is from St. Louis
Oh, well, then.

It makes Felix’s round of applause even nicer.

Feeeeeeeeeliiiiiiiiixxxxxxxxxxx
FELIX!!!!!!!!!!!

That applaud sucked.

St. Louis is racist for not cheering Felix
It sounded like he got a pretty good cheer to me.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ichiro?
He's a starter
Starters haven't been introduced yet.
ah thank you
I return to live commenting...

As MLB.TV is NO LONGER BLACKED OUT IN JAPAN!

WOOOOOOOOO.

So Ichiro has not started just once?
More like almost every single ASG this decade.
He's asking if he has only NOT started once

And the answer is yes

I wish they had video of Ichiro's motivational speeches.

I wanna see that so bad

Have we heard if he gave one this year? Big Papi isn;t there to make him
Oh how I loathe that facial hair
RYAN FRANKLIN??
Chad Gaudin's evil twin
I can't believe I'm watching an ASG in which Ryan Franklin is on the roster.
Probably a good thing for the AL.
Ichirooooooooo!
ICHIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ICHIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
SIlver shoes!
Did Ichiro just call Jeter "Baby Boy?"
I thought he said Yankee Boy.
Stop touching Ichiro
Ichiro will not let you suck his cock Jeter! Stop flirting like a 15 yr old girl!
I wish Jeter would keep his hands off Ichiro..
Ichiro, punch Hamilton in the face as he walks by!
Damn it Ichiro
I saw that jeter

If your trying to convince Ichi to go to New York I will find you and kill you

I don't think I would be able to watch baseball anymore if that happened
It would be like when the Dodgers moved to LA. It crush some people so much.
booo Michael Young
Michael Young. Feh.
Ichiro looks like a ballboy next to those guys
Wait til Tim gets out there.
Lincecum looks like somebody that ran out of the stands
Like a homeless kid on Broadway

He could grow a neck beard and wear white rimmed sunglasses to make it complete.

Cardinal fans want Halladay so bad
"Go Beyond" is apparently the slogan.

Lame.

I love New Busch so hard.
This Pujols guy is pretty popular.
Why in the fuck is Young starting over Longoria!?
Hurt.

Infected ring finger.

Ouch.

“Longoria discovered an infection in his right ring finger and had it drained and treated with antibiotics on Monday, TampaBay.com reports. "I don’t know what it was," Longoria told the Web site on Monday. "I don’t know if I had a hang nail or an ingrown nail or something; I just got a little infection on the tip, and it just kind of worsened. … "

Just cut it off.
Rip it out with pliers like Jose Guillen did with his toenail!

http://www.kansascity.com/sports/royals/story/1043320.html

Oh, thanks. I'd managed to put that out of my brain.
Done that twice.

The trick is to soak it in water for a while. Whiskey and Hydrogen Peroxide are nice too.

Longoria's finger is hurting him

or some shit.

Well that blows ass.
Longoria is hurt.
Longo isn't playing today

no idea why

Because fans voting in the starters is stupid
Or because Longoria is hurt
Because Tampa Bay is in contention

He’s probably drinking a beer right now with Torii Hunter and Dustin Pedroia.

Longoria's finger is infected.

Same reason Figgins is there at all.

Oh God I want to see some Raul hijinks in the outfield today.
ICHIRO INSIDE THE PARK HOMERUN

RAUL, MAKE IT HAPPEN

Ichiro slicing a ball into the corner at Raul would be all kinds of awesome
Our gif collection would be complete.
RAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLL
I didn't care for him but I am glad he is doing well! :)
I miss the Raul

Just a little bit.

Hey, good for you Raul!
Everybody hit it to leftfield. >_>
Wouldn't that be funny if Raul pulled about 3 Raul plays in LF.
Oh, thank goodness.

I was afraid we would be Molinaless.

Anyone know the ticket prices for All star games?
Definitely too much.
The Mariners representative looks kinda like Jack Zduriencik
Well, he would go to the ASG if there was one for GM's.
He's be a starter.
Go random DUDE in a Mariners shirt!
I don't know if Jeff is aware of this, but Adam Jones actually isn't on our team anymore
i think he's still in denail
Maybe he's on Jeff's fantasy team.
Jeff's allegiances are fluid
I hope they don't drag this on for an hour of wothless crap.
It's on FOX

Random crap in baseball games is what they do

Are you kidding?

9 pm ET start time or bust.

These old white guys need to shut the fuck up
And the young black guy should too
He has the floor
I'm excited to see timmy pitching to Ichiro!
Keep your goddamn politics out of my baseball.
Baseball = America
Whoahh old people
If they showed Zombie Reagan it would be awesome.
Are they going to show Abraham Lincoln?
I got a Hero Box for you
and FOX gets an LL permaban
They didn't have one already?
This is one of the worst game lead-ins I've ever seen
Helping people is for queers.
Helping people fine, but from a production standpoint this is the sound of a broadcast dying
FYI?

Cerebral palsy has nothing to do with one’s ability to “get straight A’s”

It isn't harder to keep them straight?
You're going to hell.

But I’ll be buying the beer.

Only if they are blocks.
I love you.
Did I stumble onto CNN by mistake?
Are they making the players & fans watch this, or do they get a song?
Everyone is getting the video.

I bet you can even hear it if you are in the bathroom at the stadium.

It was shown at max volume to prisoners at Gitmo
That is what Joe Buck does when he isn't on the air with FOX!
...Wait, was that Michael Strahan?

Did FOX give Michael Strahan his own show?

Yes they did.
Is he playing himself?
This does not appear to be the case.
I think he is playing Nicheal Trayhan.

gotta love the Sun-Times:

“Michael Strahan to star in Fox’s next short-lived sitcom”

A sitcom about two brothers.

Looks like ass.

I give it three episodes.
Those huge stars on the field look horrible.
No, Miley Cyrus? Dang.
It's on FOX not ABC.
I used to like Sheryl Crow before she got all weird and political.

Some rock stars can be politically polarizing. Crow is not one of those stars.

Guten tag, everybody!
Amazing...

A fairly straightforward National Anthem. My wife complained she was flat on a couple notes, but she didn’t stretch it out into an abomination like we usually get.

Also from Missouri

Columbia, I believe

Just sing it, I say.

take it at a good clip, and don’t futz around with the final high note.

She gets credit for largely singing it as written

but she was flat a few times.

A-

I’m very content with that

Glad someone else noticed

that her pitch was off. A little flat here, a little sharp there.

You can totally see that stealth bomber
Batman?!?!
Nice a B-1
It's technically a B-2. >_>
I have still yet to see a single episode of House.
I thought it went downhill after season 3.
One could make a joke that having seen one, you've seen them all ...
Someone comes in bleeding/vomiting from somewhere unexpected...

They diagnose. They’re wrong. He gets bitchy, pops some pills, and tells them to try something else. That’s wrong. They waffle around about how it can’t be this and that with various new disgusting symptoms. Eventually someone says something that gives him a clue, they figure out what the subject has, the end.

The Cleveland Show doesn't look that funny
I can't believe they cancelled King of the Hill to give Seth MacFarlane another show
Yeah King of the Hill is awesome.
King of the Hill was bad for a long time

Not that I expect Macfarlane’s show will be any good either.

So wrong.

KOTH was fantastic.

At the beginning, yes
I actually think KOTH got better with age

It was never a particularly hilarious show, but it was a fun, usually uplifting show to watch. Better than Macfarlane’s fart jokes

Even if you didn't like it it was at least something that wasn't Seth Macfarlane
If I'm Matt Groening I'm pissed right about now.
Same

Seth Macfarlane can only dream of being as talented as Groening

There is a level of humor that exists in the show that you can only appreciate

if you grew up/lived in Oklahoma or Texas.

They seriously canceld KOTH?
It was terrible. Serioulsy, with all the great shows FOX has cancelled over the years this is the last one to lament.
Not sad just kind of baffled. At least bring back Futurama while they're at it.
Sounds like Comedy Central has that covered.
There are some more episodes coming in the next year, but after that, it's over.
Red Schoendeist!

The immortal!

Quick!

born in the same town as …..?????

Just play Baseball!
They gotta try and makes break 'no politics' one more time
make us* break

DERP

I was not aware Stan Musial was still alive.
I wasn't either.
Athletes seem to live way longer than we realize they do (probably because they become famous way younger than, say, politicians, authors, or scientists).
Not those professional football players!
I was so sure that he was dead just by the way they talk about him on tv.
Sporting the Sox jacket?

Still a pretty good cheer from the Ofays

Is this on the Radio anywhere?

Doesn’t appear to be on 950AM which I thought was ESPN…hmm…

710 AM is the new ESPN radio
Huh

You would think I would have figured that out after listening to so many Ms games. Guess not.

Joe Buck is a tool.
Joe Buck is alot of things

but a ‘good announcer’ is not one of them

I cringe every time he calls a Saints game.

He knows NOTHING about Football.

He's a home town boy, too.

SO there is no way they could have gotten out of having him in the booth.

Is it just me

Or was that a horrific camera angle on the first pitch? You couldn’t even see the ball after the first split-second.

That was terrible

I wanted to see the throw not the dude, we already know what the dude looks like

It was pretty disgraceful, though I didn't want to be the one to break the gag order on discussing the first pitch.
Oi

I had forgotten. That’s all then.

First of many bad choices the crackjack Fox crew will make
Still pissed about Firefly. And Arrested Development. And Terminator. And etc.
Terminator got better toward the end, but it deserved it's fate for what it tried to do with the John Connor/Female Terminator love angel.
When is the first pitch?
Dan Haren should be staring instead. I said it.
Nothing compared to the injustice of Zack Greinke not starting for the AL.
You are correct.
Dan Haren is a fag
*gasp!*

Hush, you!

The reason he has been on so many team is because he can't control his doodle in the team shower.
Oh, thank goodness the game is next.

I thought they were just gonna highlight reel us to death.

Are the different camera angles in mlb.tv just an all start exclusive?
I don't like it.
I can't decide on which MLB.TV camera angle to watch...
Tight Center seems the best.
Fringe kicks ass.
Things I want to see today

- Ibanez being Ibanez in the outfield

- A one-inning Felix Show of dominance

- A 12th inning

- Bud Selig’s face in said 12th inning

If I can get just one of those I’ll be happy.

Ichiro inside-the-parker?
Would be nice

but I can’t see it happening again

I'd rather see it end up in the upper deck...

Inside the park would be nice, but I’d love to see him just launch one.

Ichiro

causing Raul to be Raul?

that'd just be icing on the cake
I guarantee the 2nd one happening

I also want an Ichiro infield hit, though

Infield HR.
Let's go 21 innings just for fun
I can't believe Felix is younger than Tim Lincecum.
That is fast approaching mullet status, Tim.
It's not a mullet, it's a full-on Lynyrd Skynyrd hairstyle at this point.
It's not a mullet, it's a full-on Lynyrd Skynyrd hairstyle.
How many of us will be able to last

an entire game with Buck and McCarver? I think this just about guarantees me to be radio-only when we ever make the playoffs.

They are already wearing on me
So if theoretically the AL lit up Lincecum like the Fourth of July and batted around, would Halladay take his at bat?
Yes

I think they set pitchers to pitch x number of innings and if they have to hit they have to hit

STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM

GOD DAMN

I hope his arm falls off.

He didn’t deserve this start but neither did Doc.

Why didn't he deserve to start?
Dan Haren had overall better numbers.
What numbers?

It’s close, but Lincecum has the better tRA and FIP. Considering he’s the returning Cy Young winner and has been perhaps the best pitcher in the NL this season, I don’t understand why he shouldn’t pitch.

I don't think...

that’s who he’s talking about.

That presidential update was inane.
Eh, Rosenthal, on Fox.
I want Ichiro! to hit a HR against Timmah.
I want to see Ichiro finally launch one out of the park.
Guess I'm going with X-MO and Tight Centerfield cameras.
bahaha he's trying
Ho-ho, almost...
That was so freakin close.
Wow, Ichiro power swingin' first pitch.
Important stat from Fox

Derek Jeter is 8-0-1 in the All Star Game. The AL would be such a piece of crap without him.

WTF

The AL is 7-0-1 with Ichiro

The AL is winning despite Ichiro.

JETER.

Ichi wanted that one gone
Yay Ichiro!
YES! ICHIRO!!!!!!!!
Ichiro!!!!
Let us tell you about Ichiro

while showing you Jeter.

WOOO! Ichiro on.
Nice! Ichiro!
ICHIRO!!!!!!

SUCK IT TIM!

Wooo Ichiro!
Ichiro... As usual.
That's what I'm fuckin talking about
The AL is too good for Lincecum.
It's weird. I expect Jeter to bunt now.
Oh shit Ichiro vs. Molina
So no graphics or commentary with mlb.tv
Tim knows Ichi is gonna run

Everyone does.

Ichiro attempts a steal, I'm calling it now.
So Tim Lincecum = Wiley Wiggins as Mitch Kramer
Lincecum looks gassed, it's time to pull him.
TIM LINCECUM IS BROKEN!
YES HIT JETER
Is it wrong that I smiled when that happened?
Not at all

I nearly yelled into the phone.

Rought start for Timmy
that looked somewhat painful
Did Mcarver call Molina a "throwing catcher"?
I prefer catching catchers
OUCH. That hit Jeter on his hand. That could easily have broken something.
Woohoo!

I was sort of wishing for the HBP. Too bad it wasn’t a little further in.

Mauer should bunt
I want a double steal
"Paging Chris Lincecum. paging Chris Lincecum."
Timmy Lincecum not living up to the billing.
Does anyone else thin Tim's numbers wouldn't be as good in the AL?
Wish we could have tested the theory
Just facing the DH alone...

Would push his numbers down.

You could say that about every pitcher.
Probably not quite as good, but they'd still be very good I imagine
true for all pitchers

Felix and Halladay would be downright destructive in the NL.

NOO ICHIRO WON'T SCORE
That was a fair ball?
Felix Sighting.
that was a weird play

That looked like a double play though

oh Pujols left the bag
Mauer did that out of spite
And the commentary is suddenly audible on MLB.TV.
That was stupid.
Damn Molinas.
DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS
Albert Pujols is a total discrace.
His trade value is plummeting.
Pujols is so overrated
Crap, that was Ichiro's run
AHAHAHA ALBERT PUJOLS ERROR ALLOWS JETER TO SCORE?
You suck, Mauer.

NICE GLOVE, VICTORINO!

PUJOLS. Hehe.
Pujols error, wow
Looks like Andy Richter is at first for the NL.
Hahahahahaahhahaha Pujols
TRADE!
Washburn for Pujols!
Great.

King Smirk scores instead of Ichiro. Good thing this game really doesn’t matter.

1-0 AL

I feel much pain coming for the NL

Hahahaha

ha

Lincecum looks BAD.
When was the last All Star game blowout?
The AL scored six in the first a few years back

2005 maybe?

2005, Final score of 9-4
TIMMAH IS BROKEN!
Woah MLB.tv has a ton of camera angles tonight
NL getting lit up.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR STARTING THE MIDGET OVER HAREN!
The Midget just potched a play too.
Tim Lincecum, meet Atlee Hammaker
Man, I guess I should want the AL to win since the Mariners have a shot, but I'm getting tired of the NL sucking in these games.
Is that the capitol building mowed in the grass?
It's the all-seeing Mason's eye
It's the Jefferson Expansion Monument building

That sits under the arch (across the street and under the arch).

HAHAHAHA LINCECUM DIDN'T COVER FIRST!
LINCECUM YOU MORON YOU DIDN'T COVER THE BAG
Wow, then Lincecum doesn't cover. Looks like nerves.
Whoa, nice cover kid!
I think Tim is a little nervous.
He's probably nervous because he got sick and missed last year, thus harming the NL team.
Hamilton slide into first?
Cedeno-esque.
Face first into a big white bag as usual
Like this one?

Whoa they made a play
Nobody hit it to Raul =\
He'll probebly have one more inning out there.

Here’s hoping

Was that April 2009 Griffey and Royals-era Mike Sweeney in that commerical?
What, no Ibanez picture?
That artist's rendition of the Ballpark in in the Dominacan Republic looked awesome.
When was the last time

you came across an unauthorized Mercedes-Benz dealer?

craigslist
A better reply than mine.
Um, whoever smuggles one past customs or steals one and sells it is an unauthorized Mercedes Benz dealer
Toyota's used car lot.
The green-screen box is fucking with my enjoyment of the game.
Roy Halladay in the 15 million dollar neighborhood as a Free Agent?

More like twice that, I would think.

I don't even think Pujols would get that much per season
In pooholes we trust?!
Franklin Gutierrez puts an extra 'h' in that sentence.
I get it, I wonder who else will
What's not to get.

The one that confused be was Ravel’s Bolero or whatever it was.

As gay jokes go I'm reasonably pleased with it.
Is that Rob Johnson behind the plate?
HE CAN HIT HOMERUNS AND HE'S GOING TO BE A FREE AGENT
That is still easily the best All Star game ever.
God Pujols sucks.
Michael Young sterling defensive play??
Fuck Michael Young
It's funny...if the AL wins it helps maybe get us home field advantage (this time we actually have a shot at the postseason), but still...

…I want the NL to win.

I want the AL to keep winning, that way the NL teams start bitching that the AL gets home field advantage every year.

And then maybe they’ll vote to get rid of that stupid stipulation.

I'm all for this.
I like this

Doubt it would work, but it’s worth a shot.

Worse part of that was

It was hit 2 feet from him

“OMG he’s such a great defender”

Just be glad

it wasn’t Jeter

The problem is...

He needs at least 4’ of space to dive.

Halladay gets an AB!

AL pitchers hitting is neato

Dude didn't even pack a batting helmet
He should have put "TBD" on his batting helmet.
That would have been very easy

Just tape a D onto the end

"Your logo here"
If Halladay hits a home run I'll laugh
This is stupid. They're taking spots at-bats from DH's.
Who the fuck call shim "Suzuki"?

Joe Buck, that’s who.

Suzuki is his last name
I'm well aware, but no one ever calls him that. Unspoken rule.
When Joe Maddon announced the AL lineup he said "And Derek at SS"
A lot of people.
Did he just say Itchy row?
That's how they think

it’s pronounced.

It's better than ee-CHEE-ro.
Nice try Ichiro.
WHY ISN"T RAUL IN RIGHT?
Good think we drafted Morrow instead of him huh?
OMG he's in the booth too?
BRING IN FELIX!
Greinke will probebly come in first
Buehrle, apparently
oh look, a runner in scoring postion

I didn’t even know they had a runner on.

This wouldn't be happening if Greinke was pitching.
I like Yadier Molina.
What the fuck?
TIE!

yes….. YES!

This might actually be an interesting game

Because this time, it counts!

I don't really want to be reminded of the economy during the All Star game, thanks
GODDAMN JUNKIE!
Hamilton shoudn't even be here.
NL lead

fuck that. I want my tie dammit

Halladay's trade value plummeting.
Right in front of Charlie Manuel.
Well, how about that.
SELL! SELL! SELL!
FUCKING BAY WASN"T COVERING
He's Canadian

He’s rather slow

Buhrle? WHAT?
Sucking up to the Prez
Why wouldn't Greinke be in next??
Seriously, Greinke or Felix.
Playing to locals from Chicago come to visit?
But then again, Greinke...
Once again

Buehrle is from St. Louis

Micheal Jordan getting cool exit music.
I really feel like I should be rooting for somebody here.
Root for Baseball and American!
Nope.

Just awkward indifference.

What is the NL's run differential?
In between inning audio!
Anything good?
MLB on Fox

theme song.

I was getting chatter between Buck and an on field reporter for a little while.
Nothing yet.
So has Raul made a Raul moment yet?
No.
Good I am glad I didn't miss it.
They never hit it to him
I'm still wondering

how they got three runs in that inning.

Cause Yadier Molina rules.
Something tells me

you’re still a Bengie Molina fan.

Ryan Franklin?
Well, here come the AL
This is a peculiar move.
What the fuck happened to Ryan Franklin?

Did a goat eat him?

Even seen Cronenberg's "The Fly?"

This time there was a goat in the teleporter with Franklin.

I can't believe I'm watching Ryan Franklin pitch in an All-Star game
Ryan Franklin's new nickname: "The Revelation"

Thanks Joe Buck!

what is that beard
He stole it from Chad Gaudin.
Take a damn pitch.

This is Ryan Franklin, who hasn;t really been a revelation

.79 ERA is pretty good... >_>
Ryan Franklin's closer music...

“Why can’t we be friends?”

"It's overwhelming..."

….
….
….
….
….

Franklin's chin pubes

look performance enhanced.

Franklin's Gone Amish.
Ryan Franklin will never thorw another slider?
Nothing off Franklin, come on guys.
I still can't stand Spiroid
1-2-3 inning for Franklin

The AL is in trouble

This is the most retarded game thread of all time
Well, duh.

ASG.

Last year's ASG will never be topped, sadly.
What should we be doing to sex it up?

Making more Ryan Franklin/goat jokes?

Perhaps by not being a bunch of fucking idiots and breaking LL's golden rule that Jeff emphasized in the first god damn comment
Blame FOX for shoving it in our face
FOX controls your fingers? Weird.
Kind of ironic, actually.
Oh come on.

Obama was all over the broadcast. Pretty damn hard not to mention it. I think it went pretty well.

You're going to make a great moderator.
That would imply that we all read all the comments-

If it were in the body of the game thread I probably would have seen it

Either way though, the whole thing was very civil and no bad discussions arose

Still, LL has a strict no politics policy and it shouldn't be that hard to respect that.
I didn't even mention his name

And anyone who did w/r/t the first pitch didn’t do it in such a way that was political

In fact nobody mentioned his name discussing the first pitch

I didn’t see that comment because I don’t read all the comments, but nobody talked about anything but the physical pitch so I don’t understand what the issue is. Had it been posted in the main body of the game thread post where everyone can see it, I would understand.

Not hard to respect, but difficult to understand.

One man’s politics is another man’s innocent observation. But that’s the most I’m going to say on that subject.

It's like telling someone to they can't drive because they might get in a car crash

99.9% chance nothing would happen, but I think J/M/G want to avoid that car crash.

It went fine.
Thank God you are here to living things up!
Branyan would have blasted that.
Should have been there.
Taco Bell is using "The Pina Colada Song" to advertise now.

Is this a tipping point in Western Civilization?

More like the pinnacle of marketing.
No...

That was reached with a grainy night vision video of a hotel magnate’s worthless daughter.

Did you just see David Wright pitching G-Force?

We’ve already fallen.

Buehrle is a thorough professional, apparently.

Well, thank God he’s being paid for his services.

The stupid little hop wasn't neccassary Jeter.
Never miss a photo op.
Neither is the jump twist and throw move.
Never has been. Never will be.

Jeter will do that little hop when he is in the old folks home.

Why, that's a triple negative
Wooo Haren!
HIT IT TO LEFT

TO THE LEFT

Not as exciting as it could have been.
Has Felix pitched yet?
Not yet.
I'm guessing

Grienke fourth, Felix fifth

Whoops

Greinke

One the more common spelling errors in baseball, for whatever reason.

See immediately below, for example.

No.

Halladay for 2, and Buehrle in the 3rd.

I think Grienke then Felix?
one would think so
I wish we had a catcher that could stop that...not even worry about the throw...
Steven Baron, but he's only 18
I meant in the majors right now, but I am very excited for Baron...
Trevor Coleman might end up being a steal in the 9th round, or whenever it was

Had a bad junior year, but he’s a good player

Won't it take like 6+ years before his swing will be MLB ready?
That was a remarkable play by Pujols at first as well
Not uncommon, either
Which is the truly incredible part
Why is that phenomenal? Bad baserunning.
well first it was a crazy good pick, and then he threw in one motion....
I actually have the Mariners check card and checks

it’s sweet

I used to have a Nationals credit card.

A mistake in more ways than one.

Greinke time
Wait, how does the Mercedes know if the driver isn't paying attention?
It brakes automatically if you get too close while driving.
That's retarded, by the way
I know. Because sometimes you just have to rear-end a motherfucker.
It's really dangerous to start braking without the driver's prior knowledge
That too.

But I wasn’t kidding. I think of my car as a viciously brutal killing machine, and I don’t want its effectiveness as a violence-delivery mechanism impeded by stupid safety features like this.

It will probably be standard in all cars within the next 15-20 years.
That's terrifying
My discrete math professor in college

said that in the next 20-30 years we won’t even drive our cars anymore. Possibly even in less time they will be AI driven, at least in major cities.

They've been saying that for 20-30 years now
That's a fuse I'll be pulling
That sounds...dangerous.
I remember when those sorts of systems were first being announced by car companies...

All I could think about were some of the very twisty roads with trees/cliffs next to them in the area.

Having your car suddenly decide to hit the brakes on one of those corners would be a disaster. I know they’re selling it for “city” driving…but it would have to be very intelligent to not be dangerous in a lot of situations in Washington and Idaho.

Oh, and the other situation...

Someone dives into your lane during heavy traffic. Car freaks out because he’s 2’ in front of you…suddenly a situation where you back off on the throttle and adjust becomes a situation where you’re rear ended.

Exactly

I’m all for smart safety systems, but if it’s as simplistic as “it hits the brakes when a car is close to your front bumper,” it’s an utter disaster waiting to happen and even more dangerous than not having anything at all

The initial description (it was a Toyota system as I recall)...

Was that, if it sensed you approaching something rapidly and you brake, it increases the response rate of the brakes. If you don’t brake, it starts to hit the brakes for you. Personally I think the former is not something I want, being able to accurately judge braking response is pretty damn important, even in the days of anti-lock brakes. The second, well it would have to be very, very smart.

I would expect that they would read for a linearly decreasing distance to the object ahead of you. So the quick lane switch wouldn’t automatically trigger brakes…it would read “50’ to object…48’ to object…51’ to object…10’ to object” and not automatically slam on the brakes.

That GI Joe movie looks worse every commercial I see
I've heard the studio thinks it's awful and is trying to make as little a deal

about a $100+ movie as possible.

er, $100+ million, that is
Joseph Gordon Levitt as Cobra commander intrigues me, but yeah it looks like ass.

Horrible casting on the Baroness.

They also put a Wayans in there...

…and not a good Wayans like Keenan Ivory or Damon.

There's such a thing as a good Wayans?
Damon's stand up is funny.
I'll never forgive the Wayans for starting this

“painfully lazy attempt at parody by jamming as many pop cultural references as possible into a cheap movie” fad.

Wasn't Marlon good in Requiem for a dream?
Nobody was good in that piece of shit film.
WTF??!?!?

The kid from Brick is playing Cobra Commander? What an odd casting decision.

Brick is great, by the way.

I have yet to see it, but I've heard good things.
I saw like half of it and it was pretty cool.

I am hoping Gordon-Levitt takes over the Joker.

It's a very rewatchable film.

You really have to see it twice to appreciate the layers and layers of dialogue.

Is it still available on demand?

That is where I was watching it, but had to leave half way through.

Beats me, I netflixed it.
They fired the director

and then brought him back on.

You think Greinke regrets signing that long-term contract with KC now?
He had to have known what he was getting himself into.
He was on record during the offseason as predicting a ,500 record AT WORST for the Royals this season

And he’s not the kind of guy who just makes predictions to blow smoke. Oof.

So you guys think Felix is next? What about Wakefield...he has to get an inning too you would think...
Not in my book he doesn't
same here, but the media has been playing up the Wakefield angle for a while, Madden might have some pressure on him to play him early...
I'm pretty whatever on Wakefield

he’s had a good results year, and he’s never made it before, so good for him. Let him get a chance to get in the game

Raul was DFA'd by Kansas City?

I thought he started for three years there.

Nope.

He wasn;t ever claimed— they sent him back to AAA and it was there Raul had the Kevin Seitzer Experience.

Doesn't that mean he was DFA'd, passed through waivers, and was outrighted to AAA?
Unless he had an option remaining
or was originally signed to a minor league deal in 2001, assigned to Omaha, and then called up later in the season
How much does Greinke weigh? He seems incredibly small.
190 according to MLB.com
Well that was dominating.
For an AS game, this is whizzing by
Whizzing like you do in a drug test

/cough Hamilton

So this Greinke kid is pretty good?
If he is good,

the why is he in Kansas City?

I'm not sure why I stated this as a question.
My friend and I are shit-talking like morons.

JY: A pox on the National League, or given their recent history in this affair, additional poxes.
KH: to the gentleman from seattle, I say- to the egress with thou.
JY: Hark! My countrymen have drawn first blood! We will have our satisfaction this night!
KH: You and yours are welcome to take a long walk off of a short pier.
JY: Behold, our warrior from the north has felled three of your men with great haste. He is as strong as a mighty maple.
KH: Truly, your journeyman bears witness to the greatness of God’s gifts in man. This does not, however, excuse the terrible timing of commercial breaks.
KH: As strong as your mighty maple’s arm may be, his ash is but a cripple’s cane.
JY: We shall overlook his failings with the sword so long as he still serves as our shield.
KH: Smite! SMOTE! blood hath been drawn finally!
JY: To arms, men! This incursion into our territory shall not stand!
JY: Were our centrefielder not chasing the dragon on the field, he would be able to slay the serpent at the plate.

YES YES YES YES YES
This would be fun
Ibanez is out?

awwwwww

CRAWFORD BABY
Ichiro Suzuki is up!
Have I mentioned that I HATE the All-Star game counting for something?
So now Ichiro is up for a third time (yay Ichiro!)

but the All-Star game is supposed to be an exhibition of the best players in the game – why should Ichiro get a third at bat instead of another player off the bench? Everyone who makes the team and wants to play should get a chance to play in the game.

Also, the game counts, but you want to pull the starters to get the reserves a chance to play

which means that a potentially super important game will be decided by the reserves instead of the starters.

Also, this makes managers want to play the starters longer because chances are that if your team made the World Series the year before, your team is likely to be good the next year as well

Then again

Ichiro is what fans want to see, and he’s better and better-known than anyone on the bench

I guess, yeah it's about entertainment

but the other players worked very hard to get to the All-Star game and should be rewarded with the chance to play. The last thing you want is give up your three days of vacation for the only time in the season and then not even get into the game

They expanded the teams in case of a tie.

So I imagine there are some guys on the bench fully expecting not to play.

I think it's OK for pitchers

because you already have enough pitchers that you anticipate some not getting to play.

What I’d like to see is relaxing the substitution rules. Let guys re-enter the All-Star game. That way the starters can start, all the reserves can get a chance to play, and the game is still decided by the starters.

I'm cool with that.
you are not alone in that viewpoint
Heck, it's the only reason I watch some years.
I genuinely cannot see how it's in any way a good idea.
For the love of God, Buck.

It’s been eight years, say it right.

Oh yay Joe buck is now being racist.
What did he say?
something about Carl Crawford pulling his pants up...
"Imagine how much fast [Carl Crawford] would be if he pulled his pants up!"
That's not racist.
Jesus Christ

Chase Utley is good.

He's no Jose Lopez

but he’s alright.

No one is as good as Lopez, so it's alright
What the fuck was that graphic?
That is a very sad animation of Jeter.
Now I know why I hate Jeter
Celebrity fans who are not alumni really don't belong on the sidelines of football games
You're just jealous that the Rose Bowl isn't the hip place to be

Saturday afternoons in the fall.

Did you guys hear that Matthew McConaughey lost his shirt?
Pathetic Jeter.
Jeter hitless, but he's TOTALLY the reason the AL hasn't

lost since 95.

How the hell did that score a run!?
Did you see who's playing left?

also I think he was shifted over

Braun.
That was my point

Braun is something like a 0 to -10 fielder on range

FUCK YOU JOE MAUER
What?
I can't explain why, but I want the NL to win.

I think I’m just fucking tired of AL dominance.

But don't you want the Mariners to have Home Field Advantage?
I love irrational hatred. But I think the NL is lame.
TIE!

TIE TIE TIE TIE TIE

Too bad raul wasnt there.
That was a lawn dart waiting to happen.
A Raul lawn dart there

would have made my year.

hell, my decade

HITS IT TO LEFT!
That ball Mauer hit was SMOKED
Thats because he isn't a crappy hitter.
It would be cool if Felix got a win today.
Albert Pujols is amazing.
Pujols getting better defensively as the game goes along.
That play in particular was magical.
I guess Tex really can't play unless A-rod is there.
Branyan would have homered there.
He would have won the Derby last night

FUCK YOU INGE

Jackson on the mound.
Wow Felix better get in there.
Can't wait 'till I see them in October.

Muse opening for U2. My brain might explode from all the awesome.

I've seen Muse half a dozen times and every one makes it into my top ten.

Except maybe the first but that’s only because I was right at the back.

I hate U2 though.

Is it Felix time?
It's Edwin Jackson time.
You gotta be fucking kidding me

that bum?

Yeah, I had a hard time even recognizing him.
Who was just pitching for the NL?
Chad B
Which reminds me

how is Matt Kemp not an all star?

Because the people who make these decisions don't look at UZR
It's not like he isn't also a really good hitter :(
Not good enough to be an All-Star on that alone though

Ethier is just as good

He bats 8th

what kind of allstar bats 8th? That’d be preposterous.

He went from about +11 RAA to +20 RAA in the last 7 games before the break by hitting .556/640/1.200 or something like that
Chad Billingsley.
Ichi is done for the night.
Billingsley.
Remember when we thought Jackson for Joyce was going to be a disaster of a trade for Detroit?
Jack Z tried acquiring him as well. So close.
Jones gets to play in the ASG...

Before Felix. I’m just going to leave it at that.

THE RAYS ARE IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE
THIS IS NOT JACKSON'S FIRST YEAR BACK IN THE AL
Put in Felix Put in Felix Put in Felix

That chant does not work very well.

King me! King me!

Better? Worse? I can never tell with these things.

Better, but still not good.
Felix is going to get the win! Felix is going to get the win!
If Felix doesn't get in next inning, he probably doesn't get in right?

Because they were saying it would go Papelbaun, Nathan, and Mariano 7-8-9

It could always go 15 innings like last year.
25 innings!
Considering our lack of representation...

I’m all for it. Get Felix in and out in an inning, then destroy the rest of them.

They got Buehrle and Edwin Jackson in there, if they don't get Felix in there I'm going to be extremely pissed off.
Fuck Joe Maddon I say.
Trevor Hoffman is in.

There goes the tie game.

Two sharp line drives.

Hoffman is old.

It's Hoffman's destiny to fail spectacularly in huge nationally-televised situations.
Quickest ASG ever.
Not if we go to extras!
Bud Selig needs to pray for extras for ad revenue!
Not if we go to extras!
Amazingly lucky to get that double play there.
Ichiro got switched out for Edwin Jackson.
FELIX ON THE MOUND!
I want him to get an at-bat and hit another home run.
I think this Taco Bell commercial is one of my five favorite commercials of all time
It was pretty sweet
A total ripoff of The Lonely Island.
The Lonely Island is a ripoff of like 100 things before it.

Not that the dudes aren’t funny.

Sure.

But The Lonely Island is at the top of their game right now. Why didn’t Taco Bell get them to do it?

The Lonely Island is infinitely better/funnier than almost every parody group ever.
Faint praise!

I don’t know, they’re pretty good, but the shtick stopped being funny about 18 years ago, so it takes a lot to keep it alive.

Well see I usually absolutely hate stupid songs/parody songs but The Lonely Island not only nail the genre they are making fun of but the songs just make me laugh.
This is a terrific commercial...fuck what any of you say...
See comment above
FELIX TIME BITCHES
I am speechless, Taco Bell.
ok...

that may be the best commercial ever.

That was incredible
I wasn't even looking at it, just hearing it and noticing that it seemed to go on forever.

What was so great about it?

Whoa Taco Bell.
That commercial made me want to kill myself.

You guys seriously think that’s funny? I’m disappointed

Hell no...

That commercial had DIMES and BITCHES!

The pinnacle has been reached.

That commerical was incredible
THAT was the inflection point of Western Civilization.
No. Awful. Per usual.
It's all about the Roosevelt's Bay Bay!
I'm going to Taco Bell just for the greatness of that commercial.
Sunshine, Lolipops, and Rainbows
Oh Jesus don't scare me like that Felix
Pujols is hitting now..
Uh.

Less of that, Felix.

Fuck fuck fuck he has to face Pujols

STRIKE HIM OUT

Felix vs. Pujols.

Awesome!

We should have seen a lot of that but no...
Yikes, that was almost bad.
FELIX VS ALBERT!

TOO MUCH AWESOME!

Watch: Pujols is going to crap all over Felix if he throws another pitch like that.
Felix with AJ playing behind him
P.S.

Is Felix turning his back during his windup a little more than usual the last couple of starts?

Yes, and it's kind of strange
It looks almost like he's trying to do Bedard's windup thing.
El Tiante!
Reminds me of Erik Bedard.
Good results

But why the hell was Felix busting out the exaggerated delivery?

YES HE GOT PUJOLS OUT
FELIX WINS!
Good enough!
LUCKY.

Pujols got out in front of that one.

When did Felix begin using the new delivery?
How is that not a strike!?
FELIX VS JUSTIN!

STILL TO MUCH AWESOME!

You are a lucky man.
Still with us, Goose?
Goose is going to explode
Who is tha terrifying man
Lex
you saw who I meant?

he was looking around the stadium, eyes pausing on each face as he casually came up with a unique and horrifying way to destry the lives of each of them

That's the one.
If they named him, I missed it, I just know my soul froze for a moment.
No idea, but that was pretty scary.
My wife was like, who's that creepy guy.
Watch Fringe.

Thursday nights this fall.

Was that some marketing ploy?
I feel used.
It's actually a very good show.

Surprisingly engrossing and funny. John Noble is brilliant in it.

1-2-3 Inning for the king
That inning made me drool.
Woo 1-2-3 for King Felix!
Who the hell was that guy?
Who turned him inside out
are you talking about the bald guy?

because that’s a stupid Fox guerilla marketing plan for their show Fringe. They’ve stuck him in random broadcasts Fox has aired.

FELIX FOR THE W!
Felix needs runs Bitches.
Damn straight.
Adrian Gonzales looks way more mexican than the Hairstons
Adrian Gonzalez SOUNDS a lot more Mexican than the Hairstons
Aren't the Hairstons only half Mexican?

And even then, they never had citizenship.

Put another way

Adrian Gonzales looks like a Sergio Leone extra

It takes two of them to make one of him.
His brother looks even more like a sinister Mexican.

Like he should be tying David Eckstein to the railroad tracks.

I wish branyan was there.

Muscle Canyon.

He's also the only person in the MLB capable of getting Felix run support
Ichiro?
He scores the run

Branyan drives him in

Rob Johnson?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ron Johnson is the reason why Felix pitches so well duh

Not for his run supporting abilities

Ron Johnson?

uhhh... Yeah Yeah that's what I meant

No typpos for me, never

Lopez?

Heh, just kidding…

why are you kidding
Shut the fuck up! Lopez is the shit!!
So is Johnson. Just not with the bat. Sadly.
Or with the glove, or the body, or the arm
He's a good catcher.
If we're not talking about his rapport with the pitchers, than I haven't noticed anything special defensively at all

Seems to suck at blocking balls

And catching them.
That isn't important for a catcher
He throws the goddamned ball to the right side of second base during a steal. When has he ever lost us a game or put us into a bad situation?

I’m not saying he’s Carlton Fisk, but the kid gets too much shit from the blog-o-sphere.

Do you mean the right side as in directional or the right sice as in correct side?

Because his throws to second base are almost always terrible

The correct side.
And his throws are more often good than bad, but you're probably scewed by popular thought.

I’ve never been popular with this thought, but it blows my mind people don’t like Rob.

No, based on watching every game, I've noticed that almost all of his throws to second base are on the third base side

And/Or in the dirt

You're wrong, and I wish I had the brains to show you how many more stolen bases are out by Johnson.

It’s a combo of me being too lazy and too drunk from drinks with Sec 108.

I honestly can't remember the last runner he threw out

Yet I can recall 5 or 6 that Joh has thrown out recently

Huh. Find like the last five games Johnson played. It's that easy.

STclosed? I’m not trying to be a dick.

I stand corrected there

But if I could find the stats, I feel like Johjima has thrown out significantly more runners.

Baseball Reference

Johjima: 15 SB allowed, 16 caught (52% CS)
Johnson: 23 SB allowed, 10 caught (30% CS)

Thank you, I think that pretty much sums it up.
I don't like him as a player because he can't hit a lick and I don't think he's good defensively.

He could probably be a decent enough backup at some point, but with all the catching talent in the organization I don’t think he belongs anywhere near the ML roster.

Compared with Clement? I find him more ready RIGHT NOW.

With Moore, etc, We’ll see. Johjima needs to go, in my opinion. And I know I’m not in the majority there.

You really think Johnson is better than Clement?

I love you Kev but I just don’t see how that’s possible.

Clement isn't ready yet. I'm not sure what they're going to do with the kid.

Like I said – I don’t expect to be popular. It’s just my opinion.

Johjima isn't winning any MVP award, but I sure as hell favor him over Johnson

Same with Clement

I've watched about 90% of the M's games this year.

It blows my mind that people think RJ is a better catcher than Kenji.

But Kenji is lazy!

He sat out for like two months! Rob Johnson would never do that to his teammates!

While I enjoy the satire (I'm a total satirist),

I hate everything about Kenji from his stupid contract to his horrible arm.

I don't like Kenji, either.

But he is an upgrade over Rob Johnson, including his arm.

His contract is not his fault.

He is better than Rob Johsnon though. His arm is better. His bat is better. He blocks balls and the plate better. “I hate Johjima!” is not a very good argument in favor of RJ being a good catcher.

Whoosh?
Well your other points in favor of RJ actually aren't in favor of RJ.
How?

I think he’s good, you think he’s bad. Okay. Can we leave it at that?

I don't want to be a dick but

you’re wrong if you think Johnson is good.

Horrible arm?

See the stats I posted above, Kenji has thrown out more than half the runners who tried to steal on him this year. Rob Johnson is at 30%.

Kenji’s not this good, but he’s been at 34%, 47%, and 32% the previous three years. Johnson allowed 10 SB and caught 2 last year (17%).

He is?
Yes.
I dunno Essman, I've seen duder drop a ton of balls and let a lot of pitches he should have blocked get by him.
He's still working out the kinks, but he blocks the bag better than Joh, as well as catching steals.

I’m not his BFF, but I feel he’s getting raped too hard on local blogs. Just my opinion.

Fair enough.

For what it is worth I would let my daughter date him.

You're a fucking awesome person who actually say's "fair enough."
Isn't Rob Johnson married?
I don't have a daughter
Well by the time you have a daughter

Rob Johnson might be to old for her to date

Like I would last five minutes as a father before the state got involved.
This is an excellent point.
Hell...

my daughter will date no one with less than a .350 OBP.

So not Loafie?
Catching steals

Demonstrably false.

I know of at least one person that matters that agrees with you

Wakamatsu. Should you count GMZ too?

I love Albert Pujols

extremely modest, well spoken, and his praise of God is muted and limited to “thank you for this opportunity”

My main complaint...

Was the two players he chose to reference.

When asked if

The best player in the game still gets butterflies? He shoulda said, “well he might, but I sure do”

That's basically what he said

he said there were lots of great players, he didn’t think he was the best in the game and of course he gets nervous

Woa. Cordero?
Fuck it. LET'S GO TIE!
That's the spirit
Damn straight!

15 innings or bust!

It's not the National Anthem.
She looks like she's about to cry
She looks like she's having trouble with a BM
She sounded a bit like Apu in the songs opening line - "God Bless Ah-mee-ree-ca!"
Her drawl went right through the song
Thank you

Come again!

Shit heads. All Stars my ass.
Woah, what the hell?
No runs for Felix.
Ah, Gotcha.
Just trying to bring some GTE
Her voice is agitating my dog.
This chick and Cheryl Crow

Are aware that they’re on HD television, right?

I'm not sure this one...

Is aware that Talkies were invented.

Why has Sheryl Crow sung the National Anthem two years in a row?

Is MLB really incapable of getting anyone with more star power?

I hope this is rhetorical

And I’m sorry I cannot help you.

What do you mean "rhetorical?"

Seriously, why on earth would MLB get a shit singer like Crow to sing not once, but TWO years in a row? Or am I high and merely hallucinating that she sang last year too?

I mean rhetorical

Because I don’t know why, and I doubt anyone else here does, either.

It was a joke. I make them a lot.

She's a MO native, so I guess it has to do with local flava. Shoulda gotten Nelly!
If Wakefield has any sort of knuckler, the AL could go on for inning after inning
I pity the catcher who has to deal with him.

Especially if, in a hilarious extra-inning scenario, it’s Brandon Inge.

Be anymore dramatic, could you?
shit, no more buffer on the DVR

this is insufferable live.

Gosh this is making me feel so good!
So Carl Crawford is good
GODDAMMIT CARL CRAWFORD
Papelbon sucks
Sweet catch by Crawford.
Papelbon trying to blow it again.

Nice save, Crawford.

Papelbon sucks
So Papelbon blows.
This is like Aardsma pitching!
GODDAMMIT ADAM JONES
Take him out, TAKE HIM OUT.
So who is gonna see the new Harry Potter?
Quite a few people, I imagine.
Wow, Tejada is actually pretty close to Ichiro in the hits column.
NLNLNLNLNLNLNLNLNLNL.
Who snuck Aardsma in the Papelbon uniform?
Oh god I hope Tejada stays on the field
Papelbon is gonna have a three pitch inning

with three 390 foot shots

It always makes me said to think of Ichiro, Gutz, Jones outfield.
If we had kept Jones there's no guarantee we would have gotten Gutz.
Guti wouldn't have happened if we had retained Jones.

We likely wouldn’t have GMZ either.

I know, just say'n
You sir, just saved my life.
I don't know about that second part.

We still would have been awful last year.

What cracks me up is Jones would probably be in LF. I'd hope he'd be in LF anyway
that should be sad.
I no longer give a shit about this game.

Unless the coaches are forced to play in the 28th inning or something.

I would really like to see a position player pitch
Unfortunately the idiots who voted for the all-stars

didn’t elect Jamie Burke or Nick Swisher.

Jerry Manuel with the walk-off.
Jayson Werth looks too much like Player A

Fuck Jayson Werth

So the commentary went away on mlb.tv
And you're complaining?
Fly out to the third outfielder?
Don Wakamatsu in as catcher.
Quietest catcher ever.
So that was right down the middle.
I hate Papelbon and would love to see him serve it up right here.
I'd rather see

Fuentes give it up in the 9th

How did he even make it to the ASG? He not very good.
Because of the amount of saves he has.
Becasue he plays for Boston.
Fuentes plays for the Angels
For whatever reason

I thought we were talking about Youkilis.

Fuentes plays for the Angels
I think you confused Youkilis with Fuentes.
You spelled

‘Fuentes plays for the Angels’ wrong.

What kind of weird baseball game

Sponsored by Flomax are there no women at and no team names on the jerseys?

Curtis Granderson might be my favorite non-Mariner.
I love him.

Great guy. Great athlete.

It didn't even look like he was running at full speed on that triple.
Good choice.
He might be the youngest still-playing player I have ever seen asked to do commentary in the post season
He's an amazing ambassador for the game both in America and in the World (his trip to South Africa, for instance)
And, as we now know from the commercial earlier, big on spreading the word about the importance of education
Don't hold that against him - everyone makes mistakes.
Do you only get the audio if they are using the same camera angle for the national broadcast?

All these camera angles are annoying

No!

I wanna tie

Upton played that bad...
He's not a left fielder.
That was a pretty shitty way to get to the ball.
Wooo Curtis!
That was a terrible route.
Part of me wants Adam Jones to ground into a double play

Although I want the AL to win

AJ Strikeout followed by a 3-run HR

would be ideal.

By Youkillis?

Ugh.

I like Youkilis!
See above.

Not that it matters now, of course.

Actually, I don't want Youkilis to homer

a go-ahead bloop would be better

What's with all the hate?

I have to say I’m rooting for Adam here.

I'm all for him succeeding

but I rather he didn’t do it in front of my eyes.

Honestly, I don’t really care about him now that we have FRANKLIN GUTIERREZ.

hay is is vitor artinez
A suicide squeeze would be awesome.
I'll take the sac fly.
Hear that guys?

A GRITTY at-bat!

And Joe Girardi says he will be a superstar.
Aardsma's value rising as Heath Bell sucks ass.
Kevin Youklis is the most valuable player in all of baseball?
They're blinded by his Lemmy 'stache.
ARGH YOUKILIS IS NOT THE MOST VALUABLE PLAYER IN THE GAME
*Slurp slurp slurp*
All these announcers are retarded
This has been an oft-repeated theme of theirs through the years.
Papplebon is in line for a win

With an inning he is lucky that he isn’t in line to lose this game

Is there a better view of this streaming free over the internet than mlb.com?

I’d rather watch the televised version if it’s on someplace

Do you get the channel the Simpsons is on?
On the internet?
.....

No, on TV! Did I miss something? Why wouldn’t you be able to watch FOX?

Oh, no cable
You shouldn't need cable to get FOX....

Or do you? We don’t have cable, and I get all the lower-level channels….I don’t know where you are though, so….

Oh, no tv I should say. Can I possibly string this out any longer?

Got rid of it a couple years ago

haha!

OK, gotcha. I hate watching stuff on computer, so I’m glad for TV – plus, being poor, it’s one of the few luxuries I’m afforded. :/

The cat and I enjoy have the tv so we can watch our stories.

They’re such good company, you know.

Whose stories get priority?
I'm the one with opposable thumbs.

I win.

Good call

Because if it’s a tossup between Planet Earth’s birds of paradise episode and Iron Chef, the kitty is going to lose….well, 80% of the time, anyway…

More Wak sightings
So our rotation is Olson,Felix, Washburn when we get back?
Wheres Bedard
After Wash I think.
Per Larue

“Morrow’s departure changes the Mariners’ rotation after the All-Star break, when he was scheduled to pitch the first game. Now, there are two rotations in place – one if Felix Hernandez pitches an inning in he All-Star Game, another if he pitches two. If he pitches one inning, the rotation will be Garrett Olson, Felix, Jarrod Washburn and Erik Bedard.”

Ok, so now not only will they brake for you, the car now tells you are driving tired.
Oh, I see.

Morons drive Mercedes.

Smart rich people drive BMWs.

Well, and douchebags.

Audis too, the second part more than the first.
Audis are awesome cars.
Driven by wankers.
Most luxury cars are driven by retards because rich people generally suck balls.
Except for the part where you have to take them to the shop every month to get something fixed.
This is such total bullshit.
You might be the first Audi owner I have ever heard disagree with this statement.
They are generally reliable cars that will run forever if you take care of them.

Luxury cars are complex and they cost a lot of money to maintain. Shit breaks on BMWs and Benzes and Benzes too. I’ve owned two VWs and an Audi and they’ve been bulletproof.

This seems like a productive subthread

 I drive my FAiL’s station wagon RS6 sometimes. It’s a station wagon. With 450 horses. It kicks so much ass.

FAil = fiancee in law?
SSS from my boss...but he is always dealing with it breaking.
Mine is a small sample size too, but it's from like 20 people I have known over the years.
My brother who is a mechanic has gone over this with me many times.

Like acblue said luxury cars cost a lot of money to maintain by nature, and as long as you aren’t driving them like you just got your license you’re probably fine.

This is by and large a myth because Volkswagons have had problems in that same department and they are both German cars.

“Wankers” drive Audis, sure, but regardless they are good cars.

Their computer systems have had notorious problems.

At least over the last 15 years.

It's so exaggerated that it isn't even funny though.
My favorite car I have owned was an Audi.

I think a far higher percentage of BMW owners are douchebags than Audi owners.

Two cheeks of the same ass
I think you're right.

My favorite car is a BMW.

I would buy one in a second if I had the money. But tons of douchebags drive them.

They've mentioned Jeter being undefeated in All-Star games several times, but why not Ichiro?

He is, too.

He's not a yank or a sawk

Thus, he is no one in FOX’s eyes

Jeter is more undefeated than Ichiro.

Yeah, go ahead and try to make sense of that.

Is Aardsma even in at the ASG?
Ichiro drinking Gatorade sighting!

Ichiro: Can’t I drink water?
AS Game people: NO

Bottle or cup?
Bottle - I think it's only bottles at the ASG to further Gatorade's exposure.
Has there been an Angel in the game yet?
Doesn't look like it

I might have missed someone though.

Has anyone noticed that Rafael Soriano doesn't make it to the ASG? even with great numbers.
I feel sorry for Ryan Zimmerman.
At what point does he say

“GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”

He just signed an extension.
Bahahahaha
He's under club control anyways, might as well make some real money before he hits FA.
I agree.

That still sucks for him though.

Adrian Gonzalez isn't well known?

Uhh? What?

There really is no point in trying to make sense of anything these guys are saying.
Not really

Not when you compare him to Howard, for example

He's not.

At all.

I guess we have a lot more exposure than most teams...

And he’s on the west coast. And in the NL. And he doesn’t have any national commercials.

So that may be true.

The best charity you could come up with to demonstrate how generous baseball players are is Zimmerman's donation to the UVA baseball program?

Not that I have anything against Zim doing that – it’s his money. But seriously, McCarver?

Lordy, just have the producer use The Google to pull up last year's Clemente Award nominees.
I'm almost sure that Zim's given more to other charities than he has to UVA too.
It would be nice if they would mention that too
Ahh

“Ryan launched the ziMS Foundation in 2006 to raise awareness and funds for multiple sclerosis, a disease which has touched him personally since his mother, Cheryl, was diagnosed in 1995.”

For example, last years winner was Pujols

Pujols keeps busy with the Pujols Family Foundation and works around St. Louis, and the foundation holds a couple of major events every year. The sixth annual Albert Pujols Celebrity Golf Tournament is set for Monday. The foundation was formed in May 2005.

The causes that benefit from Pujols’ philanthropy are both local and global. One focus is to benefit kids with Down Syndrome, because Pujols’ daughter Isabella has Down Syndrome. But the foundation also works in Pujols’ native Dominican Republic, and that seems to be the work that captures Pujols more than any other.

This offseason, he will lead a third annual trip to the Dominican to help provide health care and education for children in poor areas of the country. The 2007 trip focused on dental care, while the early 2008 trip emphasized vision care.

“It was blessed,” Pujols said upon his return from the 2008 trip. “We touched a lot of lives over there. … The doctors, they were awesome. We saw a lot of kids, and a lot of kids, gave a lot of treatment to a lot of kids. It was a exciting. It was exciting every day, from 6 o’clock to 6 o’clock working, just nonstop.”

Beides Pujols’ work with the foundation and in the Dominican, he’s been involved in plenty of other causes in greater St. Louis as well. He has also supported the Ronald McDonald House, Autism Speaks, the Boys & Girls Club and the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Wow. Good work, msb!

Pujols is amazing.

And also

His Pujols Grill!

I want to go to there so bad. Thats really cool.
I found it online on accident

Vaguely skimmed the menu, didn’t look too bad.
If I had the means, I’d totally open a restaurant.

Bud praying the game doesn't get tied again.
I wonder how long it takes to mow that design into the field
My guess...

Is that they stamped it, rather than mowing it. At least I think that would be the best appproach to something that complex.

Cut it out of playwood, let it sit for a night or two with weights…and done.

Plywood, even.

Or MDF if you really want to go cheap.

Crop circle! It's an alien landing site!

Makes sense, never thought of ’em doing it that way

My guess is even some paint that is 'safe' for grass.
Pretty much all spraypaint is pretty safe for grass.

It grows fast enough that it can recover from it just fine. But you’re right, that could be another way to do it that would last a little better.

RYAN HOWARD YOU SACK OF SHIT
Sit the fuck down
This might be the wrong time to mention this

but Ryan Howard has a gorgeous swing. Now if only he would hti the ball more often

Watching him hit HR's to left field is among one of my favorite things in baseball.
It's just the sheer lack of effort he needs to swing the bat
I hope K Rod gives up 11 runs
Even though I'm pulling for the NL, I still want to see K-Rod get lit up.
What? Was Justin Morneau traded to the NL?

Top of the 9th, they just showed the next batters up for the NL. Justin Morneau was 3rd.

Doh, I'm an idiot. Nevermind.
Joe Maddon = '50's game show host Bill Cullen

How did I forget Bill Cullen?
How much was Tiger paid to not say anything in that commercial?
I'm blown away by how much money he makes from endorsements considering his . . . modest charisma.
It's like being a studio musician...you get paid for the notes you *don"t* play.
My wife and I responding to that Budweiser commercial...

Me: You’re just like Budweiser!
Her: You mean flat and boring?
Me: No, cheap and widely available.

The fact that she laughed, rather than hitting me, really says a lot.

Dugout Dialogue

Player: So, Mr. Torre, what does he throw?

That would be a cutter, son.
There are zero non-Ackley prospects in our system I would not trade for Jason Bartlett
Just running them through my head, it's astonishing what a rough time our farm system has had this year.

Pineda, Raban, Triunfel, Saunders, Clement have all battled crazy injuries, not to mention Halman.

Ackley isn't technically in the organization
Who's going to get MVP? Mauer?
I'd guess Granderson
Crawford
I say Crawford or Grandy, but they'll find a reason to give it to Jeter.
Wait, no...they'll give it to your winning pitcher.

Even better.

Well imagine what record the AL would have had without Jeter during this undefeated streak
Hopefully Crawford or Granderson.
I saw Brad Hawpe Ibanez a single into a triple the one game I saw at Coors. It was the worst play I've seen this year after the inside-the park error that Jose Guillen gave up.
WAIT WHAT

BRAD HAWPE IS A VERY GOOD DEFENSIVE OUTFIELDER???

I'm guessing Fielding PCT...
Yep and Gutz is the 5th worst in the AL.
WORST TRADE EVER
The Rockies magazine said:

THE ARM: Brad Hawpe is a threat at the plate and in the field.

He is a threat to opposing pitchers at the plate and a threat to humanity in the field.

Heartbreak? Really, Buck?

From losing an ASG?

Oh my god they just said Hawpe was a great outfielder.

Oh my god.

Well, yeah.

It’s those tables that tell them how bad the M’s defense is.

Sweet game, AL wins again.
THE MARINERS HAVE HOMEFIELD ADVANTAGE IN THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!
It's coming baby!

I can see it now. Griffey’s going to be up in the 9th inning with 2 outs, bases loaded, 1 run needed to send us to the world series. And he’s going to funk walk for the win.

AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Comin' again to save the motherfucking day, yeah!
Freedom is the only way yeah!
MARINERS CLINCH WORLD SERIES HOME-FIELD ADVANTAGE!
Haha NL fucking sucks
Suck it NL!
Dramatic!

I’m glad Joe Buck and FOX are still around to remind us all how annoying Joe Buck and FOX are.

The Mariners get Home Field Advantage in the World Series!!!!!
quick game

mariners represented well (including Adam Jones!).

Adam Jones was traded to the Orioles as part of the package of prospects that was exchanged for Bedard.
PLAYOFFS!!!!
I don't know how I make it through the offseason.

Feels like forever since I watched the Mariners play.

The offseason sucks
When do M's continue regular play?
Thursday, I believe.
Thursday.

Nothing more.

thursday @ CLE
Chris Rose is annoying, but it isn't Jeannie Zelasko, who has become even more annoying as time has passed.
This is why I turned the channel after the last out.
The Seattle Mariners will now have homefield advantage in the World Series!
Fucking late fuck
The San Fransico Giants will now have a disadvantage in the World Series!
So defense, huh
Well I'm glad that Branyon hit the homerun who won the game, and Rob Johnson became the favorite catcher of American league fans.

Sorry, got to go clean up a mess of tears and joy.

Who -which
Fuck my reply fail. Fuck me.
Wonderful thread this was
I wish I was Albert Pujols.
Albert Pujols to have disavantage in the WS

WIN!

This is why there is no politics here, FYI

I wouldn’t want to see the quality of posts turn into the mlb.com comment boards:

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/comments.jsp?ymd=20090714&content_id=5874014&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb

(Sorry mods, I am just making an example of why No Politics is so serious of a rule).

I still say this thread went quite well.
It did.

I think just about everyone here is familiar with the rules each other, and thus, are much more responsible in avoiding anything that could flip a switch. In fact, I found it funny that the arguments weren’t about politics itself, but about whether saying a politician’s name goes too far or not.

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