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Lookout Landing

7/21: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Well.

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Comments

Fuck you Jim Leyland it was foul
For real

Come ON, dick. Like they’re not going to murder us tonight as it is.

I like how we have a new thread before we've even recorded an out
There's one!
Well you stopped Fogel and I before our ST got interesting
I really wanted to see where you were going
Well we'll never know how much rope I could have made to hang myself with
Given that you only need ~4 feet of rope I'm sure you'd have had plenty
I have a pretty fat neck
Yes I know I gave you two extra feet for that
Wait are you calling me tall?
No I am very plainly saying that you are short and fat
Wouldn't a short person need more rope?
You've never hanged yourself before have you
Chairs come in many different sizes
You are being hanged in a room with a very low ceiling
If I wanted to hang myself I would make sure I couldn't touch the ground

So I would find this unlikely

No you're gay
No you are mistaken

I am 6’ 4", handsome, with above average posture

Rawr
I am being truthful
Double rawr
There's no way I could be lying
I hope you are. 6'4" and handsome sounds nightmarish.
You look like Mario before he finds a mushroom.
Wow you're original
In my defense your red hat only adds to it.
I wore a blue hat
A lot depends on what kind of knot you use
So facebook tells me seattlebruin probably has Swine Flu.
I want to slap Garrett Olson in the face like an angry Frenchman.
I would also like to do that but with my genitals.
Quickest new-game-thread ever?
To be fair we were talking about the Angels game for half the thread.
So then ultra quickest new-game-thread ever.
No the tuna hot pockets GT was the quickest 2nd GT ever
I must have missed that one.

It sounds absolutely enthralling though.

Holy shit an out!

Playoffs!

AN OUT!
The thread must have caused it.
Bonzer.

Well, I’m off to sit on the bus, where I’ll get to heat Rizzs tell me more about sharing a hometime with Curtis Ganderson.

Holy shit an out
I love how misery inspires us to comment more.
Thank you Mr Hammerhands!
We're still gonna win
This is only works if you link back to this when we lose and not just if we make a miraculous comeback.
At this rate the final score will be 135 to 1.
That would be wonderful.
120 to 9.

They’re the home team.

That sounds a lot better!
Take him out this is horrifying
Why bother?
He needs the public embarassment of being pulled in the first inning to teach him a lesson
I think throwing 40+ pitches in the first inning and allowing a GS is probably humiliating enough.
Not even close
Raburn doesn't belong in the majors if he couldn't take Olson deep.
So we need at least 10 runs to win this game.
New game thread already?

I thought we waited until at least 800 comments

Baseball is full of superstitions.
2 outs and a single

IT’S WORKING

I think Jeff just wanted to post a RRS picture.
Sympathy strike!
The Tigers are on pace to score 135 runs
JAKJAKJAKJAKJAKJAKJAK

If Olson allows Gerald Laird to do something positive, I will never forgive him.

Oooo!

I got my wish!

Hey the Angels are winning
Aybar looks like late seventies Michael Jackson.
FORTY PITCHES?!????!!!!!!!!
HOW IS HE STILL IN HERE
What's up with Olson's Hollywood Hulk Hogan beard?
This kind of reminds me of Gil Meche
Wow...what a game.

*inning

Just noticed the new headline.

Brilliant.

Over/Under on Olson crying in the dugout?
That's not how over/unders work.

But I’ll take the over.

Oops. Forgot the number.

Major fail. Let me think on it.

Over/under on tears shed by Olson is 0.5

I think is what you would be going for.

You mean on the time it takes him to cry?

Over/under has to be a number

Why do so few understand this concept?
There's no crying in baseball
Crying because of his pitching or crying because of the 24 cockpunches he's getting?
He won't cry.

He’ll blame Kenji. Then request that Rob Johnson be his personal catcher for the rest of the season.

Fuck you Cubs - you could have sold Olson to the glue factory, but now we get the extra cash.
Hey did Magglio get rid of the long hair or am I seeing things?
A long time ago, yes
He had a nasty jheri curl looking mess last time they were in town
He did.

To try and bust out of his slump. Instead all it got him was a platoon with Clete Thomas.

And a grand slam!
I think that has more to do with Olson being your elbow growthless version of Nate Robertson than it does the slump busting abilities of a haircut.
We're boned.
So that changeup looks pretty nasty.
What a pitch
I wonder how Olson feels about pitching to Johjima these days...

You have to think that it’s crossed his mind, what with the three best starters favoring Rob, that perhaps it would be worth it to experiment with a catching change of his own.

But I wonder if he feels pressure to stay with Kenji, because others have deserted him and Olson represents one of few opportunities for Kenji to play. Or perhaps demanding a personal catcher when you are a borderline major leaguer is like demanding a new 35" flatscreen monitor when you are a brand new intern.

On the other hand, Olson may be perfectly content. He might be a faithful LL reader who believes that all this talk of intangibles is the product of sportswriters with too much time on their hands.

You just have to wonder, when all the starters around you are fleeing Kenji like those little people who jump out building windows and run away in the old Sega game Rampage, how that might affect your confidence in your catcher.

Wak told Olson he can pitch to Johnson if he started pitching better.
That's an easy promise to make.
They're trying to preserve his shiny CERA.
If Olson were a faithful LL reader he would demand that he be sent down to Tacoma.
Kenji helped!
Lets take this opportunity to score runs
2 Outs, so what?
2 outs, one more?
Wouldn't it be great to load the bases now for Russ...
No, we'd be better off loading them for Lopez

guaranteed grand slam

Just got here.

So I guess Olson finally started looking like how he’s supposed to, eh?

He thought the bottom of the first was Tigers batting practice.
This is going to be a terrible game
Going to be?
We're 1.5 innings in, there's a lot of time left for a shitty game
FUCKING FUCK
So anyone know who is pitching on Franklin Gutierrez bobblehead night?
I really hope it's Felix
Nevermind it definitely isn't
Baker's blog says

either Vargas or RRS, since Bedard’s start got pushed back to Saturday

What the butt?
So both games I go to this year are going to be Vargas starts. Bitching.
As it stands right now it should be Bedard.

I’m excited, I also decided to spend the extra money to buy tickets not in the LF bleachers. Never sat in RF before, I think I’ll be in section 108.

Annnd right on cue PattyB crushes my dreams.
Wouldn't it be something if we became sellers because Olson sucked.
Holy crap bullpen please!
Yeah, that'll stem the bleeding.
Might as well save the bullpen.
Man I wish today was Joel day
Good holy fuck.
Jesus fucking shit.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OLSON IS HORRIBLE.

We're punting this game to save the bullpen
I'd bring in Jak and send Olson down
Yeah

I’m with most of you. Morrow sucks! Lets stick with Olson. Fucking retards. RRS better get called up soon.

You're an innning late Wak.
The really shitty thing is that we'll probably scrape together like 5 or 6 runs tonight

And still lose

So..

Do you think we could trade Olson to the Braves for two gum wrappers and a shoelace? Or is two a bit much?

Is the shoelace thick enough to strangle Olson?
Nothing could take down that neck.
I kinda want this to get into deep blowout mode

so we can see Ichiro pitch.

Rain dance time!

We could start over tomorrow.

Yes, rain!

That would be awesome.

Yeah sure Olson sucks

But that jawline is chiseled from granite

Branyan's is chiseled with sex.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE
Griffey
Griffey hit an own-grandslam.
Not enough Griffey
A heaping helping of ass.
Assed potatoes.
Oh good Jakubauskas isn't throwing strikes either
After giving up homeruns to Magglio and Polanco

I was kinda looking forward to seeing if Olson would let Adam Everett hit one out too.

And the fun just keeps on leaving.
And the Angels are about to win.

Great.

5 games back. I think we should seriously consider being sellers.
Fuck this BP.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OH FUCK GUTI
NONONONONONO
Fuck.

I hope Guti isn’t hurt badly.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

PLEASE BE OK

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK FUCK FUKC
OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NO
NO NO NO NO NO GUTI!!!!!
OH FUCK THIS COULD NOT GET ANY FUCKING WORSE
FUCKUFUCKFUCUKFUFUCUFKFUCKFUCKUFUFUKCUFKCKCUKFCUCKFU
NONONONONONONONONONONONNONONONONONONO

I hope the wind was just knocked out of him. What a great effort.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST NO OH MY GOD NO

PLEASE GOD WHY DO THIS TO US. NO NO NO NO OH MY FUCKING GOD

WORST GAME EVER!
Shit!

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT

That looked rough.
Seasons over
Have we seen the last of Garrett Olson?
WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT GARRETT OLSON

GUTZ IS HURT

THIS GAME IS EVIL
PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK PLEASE BE OK
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOTEHRFUCKERMOTHERFUCKERMOTHERFUCKER!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Figures things would happen this way.
SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL
I logged to say exactly this.
His wrist!!!!!!!
HOLY SHIT THAT LOOKED BAD
It's been a fun year though.
Jesus christ he hit the wall hard.
Judging from the last 30 seconds of posts

I’m going to assume our playoff chances just hit 0%

Just the wind kid, breathe breathe breathe
This please please please please please please please
The radio description sounds grim
He's not moving
Well, he's moving, just not getting up.
No ambulance
That's what's supposed to comfort us?
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

I had forgotten that there isn’t a fucking floor

At least we won't be afraid to sell now.
YOU JUST PICK US UP AND THEN FUCKING THROW US ON THE GROUND DON'T YOU GOD

FUCK YOU

I missed it, please tell me you guys are overreacting
No, it looks terrible. Just terrible.
I wish dammit.
Full Speed into the wall

He didn’t let up at all.

Guti basically ran into the scoreboard at full speed. It looked like the scoreboard hit Guti after catching a pass over the middle.
Could have broken his wrist
Looks like his elbow is completely fuxxored
Yeah that or his shoulder
Isn't Guti like an 8 win player?
Gutz is down for the count

Can of Gasoline, check
Lighter, check
Will, check

anything I need to know before I light myself on fire?

Fuck me, right up to the fucking tonsils.
Sell Sell Sell =(
I'm hoping he just knocked himself silly.
Looks like a concussion or something

hopefully not a bad one.

I would like to die now.
That looks bad
This is getting really frightening now.
we could be down by 5.5 games by the end of the day.
There are more pressing matters at the moment.
we could be down a hell of a lot more than that
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONONONOONONONONONONOOOOOOOO
We appreciate your nostalgia, Gutz

But reprising Griffey’s injury isn’t going to bring 1995 back.

I can't believe this is happening
JESUS FUCK
Please be OK Franklin
This feels worse than when Felix got Beltraned.
Only because there is no vehicle for my anger
How ironic that before the game Guti was showing us how to catch a ball and hit the wall.
Maybe we can still trade for Rick Ankiel
So...

Out for the year?

Looks like his shoulder is fucked.
So much for his developing power stroke!
Another Cinjury for Kenji.
Now really doesn't seem like the time.
This is like a fucking injury scene from a fucking football game.

Jesus fucking Christ.

If Gutierrez is injured, all bets are off, this season's basically over
Oh cool I walk away for 2 minutes and come back to see Gootch dying on the field

Shit!

Never leave your TV, ever.
I am totally going to start crying, you guys

NOT cool. :( :( :(

Stupid fucking scoreboards being hard, why dont they have protective padding.

FUCKING BULLSHIT.

This better just be Gutierrez setting up his comeback to save baseball in Seattle.

FUCK

If we lose Guti it probably takes us out of contention, huh?
Unquestionably
We were already out of contention.
Not according to coolstandings.
He has been worth 3.5 wins so far this year.

You tell me.

WORST GAME EVER!

z

So much for the playoffs
Hopefully he just has a concussion or something and didn't damage his wrist or shoulder
Um what happened?

I went away from my desk and now I see injury delay.

Read the hundreds of posts above yours
Walking!!!
You can walk with a broken wrist, right?

:(

They were acting like it's his collarbone.
That's a pretty good guess, and also a fairly mild injury.
Thank God he's walking off
This would never have happened if RRS were starting
Looks like a broken arm or wrist or something
Let's pray for the collarbone.
I dunno, broken collarbone and he's still probably be out 6 to 8 weeks.
Oh thank fuck he's on his feet at least.
Yeah, so I feel a wash of hopeless despair submerging me in its icy, soporific clutches.
Dave is retarded
Why can't our team have nice things?
Dislocated shoulder

I dislocated my shoulder almost exactly like that. I needed surgery and a lot of rehab.

Hopefully I’m wrong, but that is how the arm hangs after a traumatic dislocation. On the other hand, his arm wasn’t really out enough. Perhaps a separated shoulder or a broken shoulder or collar bone?

I agree.

I’m no MD, but his shoulder was hanging low and forward. Dislocated shoulder is probably best case scenario.

He moved his fingers in one shot.

That has to be a good sign for his arm right?

Not really
It didn't fall off at least
This is really bad.

When I blew my shoulder out it was absolutely FUBAR and I wasn’t in nearly as much pain and I am not a professional athlete. Hopefully it’s just something lame like a fractured arm that’ll heal fine.

My arm was hanging at a 90 degree angle in the middle of the forearm, I could still wiggle my fingers

It was really cool

There is no floor.
Holding his left arm...leaving the game

Oh yay…Balentien’s in. That’s a nice like a-bajilion drop to team WAR.

Yes, but the mole on his cheek is worth 1.2 wins.
I predict we will make the playoffs.
We will beat the Angels in a one game playoff.
Before getting into a rochambeaux contest, I'd suggest icing down your nuts first.

This will cause them to retreat up into your body cavity and reduce the chances of them being ruptured. Just a suggestion

FUCK YOU RABURN!!
At least his throwing arm is okay
Anyone else crying right now?
Just freaking about. :(
I feel like it.
About as close to crying over a baseball injury as I can be.
Can't we just forfeit this game?
Should have done that about 10 minutes ago
I appreciate the Detroit color guy recognizing he was having "an amazing season"
This is why having groundball pitchers is important.
Swear to god

Someone started playing taps outside my house within seconds of Guti going down…

It's funny how literally no one in the world gives a shit about this game.

Dave seems absolutely shaken.

I think everyone realizes what it means if we lose Gutz
Well, it was a nice season... I was really enjoying it. Too bad.
Some cruel bitch of a customer just came in here as the replay was playing

I was seeing it for the first time and feeling horrible, and she started laughing. I’ve never, in my life, felt compelled to hit a woman until that moment. Fuck, I am stewing over it

Hopefully she crashes into a door and someone laughs at her.
I probably would be in hand cuffs right now if I was you
Like the guys that buy a PPV boxing fight and talk shit about the fighters

No honor in laughing at an athlete for putting his heart on his sleeve.

I'm praying for rain/tidal waves/seeing the ground give way/watching it all go down.
Well

this certainly hurts the chances of Guti having a good game on his bobble head night.

God fucking damnit don't remind me.
I think I will cry on his bobblehead night
Yep, you'll catch me in the RF seats alternating chugging and pouring out beers for Guti.
I am going to open the package, shake his little, tiny head...

and break down in tears!

I haven't bought tickets yet, probably won't even bother now
Well that's dumb

the bobblehead will still be cool to have, and Guti still rules.

Better make get well soon signs.

I will be.

Ah, great idea!
If Gutz is out for 2+ weeks this season is over. Just trade everything they can and get ready for 2010.
A month or more seems more likely at this point

It looked really bad

I don't know that there is any possible way to estimate the length of time he'll be out.
There isn't.

Wait and see.

I sure hope it's 2 weeks or less. That doesn't seem so bad.
At least six innings.

Probably more.

I didn't see it.

My point is with all the holes in this team Gutz being on the DL for any amount of time will kill any chance of a post season. Unless someone has a can of magic laying around.

Michael Saunders!
I can't get excited about Saunders right now.
This isn't how I wanted that to happen.
This isn't how anyone wanted it to happen.
Griffey finds fountain of youth outside of safeco field

pleasssseeee

At this point he would have to eat the blood of a unicorn and then use parts of the unicorn's horn in his bat.
Not really concerned with how much of this season he misses. I just want him to have a full recovery from

whatever the injury is

Come on M's!

Lets score a rare 10 runs and win one for Guti!

BALENTIEN YOU BETTER FUCKING HIT A HR IN HIS HONOR

YOU BETTER DO IT

Lets see some of that RAW power you supposedly have.

Supposedly.

Is it February yet?
So does Langerhans take over in center for the foreseeable future?
I would think so, with Wlad in left
I don't see why not
Either him or Ichiro.
Win it for Franklin!
Whats up with all the bitch hits?
GET THAT FUCKING SMILE OFF YOUR FACE LOPEZ.

NO ONE CARES THAT YOU JUST SCORED.

Scrappy saw the new LL headline and thought@

FUCK YOU

What do we know about Seattle under Wakamatsu?

They value defense? Nope, they won’t give up

That doesn't matter
The announcer said that

but I realized a lot of you have the SEA feed, im on Detroits

IF you start going Don't Stop Believin' on us
Rizzs sounds so depressed

not that I blame him.

Niehaus has lost all enthusiasm for the game entirely.
I can't imagine that he sounds nearly as depressed as Dave does right now.
Probably not

but he has lost all energy from his voice. It’s pretty disheartening to listen to.

It must be hard to continue to commentate this game and sound the least bit interested.
You know it's bad when he starts talking about the economy.
Now we need to take out one of their players to make this game more fair.
I wanna puke...

This game is a steaming pile of horseshit.

That’s all.

Time to hit the phones Jack

GO GO GO

Call me Brad Majors, this game sucks ass
Time to start trying to get excited about next year
Good luck with that.
Dustin Ackley and Michael Saunders in the OF.
Not next year.
Did they add a fourth outfield position or are you bouncing one of our best players?
Langerhans is not one of our best players so I don't know what you're talking about.
Wait, nevermind I'm an idiot.
He's been gone for 20 minutes and already forgotten. =(
Yes, lets not write off 2010 just yet.
How is that going to work
If the Nationals can do it then so can we.
Please don't imply that Gutz will be hurt still next year.
Maybe we can pull a Dodger..

And win without one of our best players.

Is there anyone to blame for this?
Well, there's the guy that allowed that deep fly ball...
Garret Olson has a tattoo on his ass that reads, "Owned."

Curiously, only the letters “wned” sit on his right buttock.

SEE YOU LATER WASHBURN!
Maybe we can kidnap Granderson tonight
Matt Holliday!
Josh Hamilton!
One of these guys is available
But cocaine jokes!
Hell, I'll get jacked up and bat.
I have never seen/heard the announcers this sad over a injury before. Both Daves are on pins and needles.

Be okay Gut!

That diddn't look good...
Why do you hate us baseball gods?
So.....

Is there a contender that needs from LH pop? Branyan should now be available.

I would try to ink Branyan to a one or two year extension if possible.
How sure are we that Branyan is going to give Seattle a discount as I believe he stated?
Trade him and sign him after the season >_>
Yes.

Branyan is going to chase the cash. This off-season will be his one and only shot at cashing in. He’d be a fool not to.

He still won't get that much
Ok then...

trade him and then re-sign him…

I see no reason to sell until we are out of the race
Not even Sims' hat can cheer me up :(
Well how bout that
GD is frozen, I guess it couldn't handle the loss of Gutz either.
Nice going, Hannahan.
Well that was fascinating!
I was just joking to my friend how Hannahan can't hit

And he hits a home run.

I bet you look like an idiot right now
I hate that we have lost 2/3 of our Opening Day starting outfield
And starting 3B, mind you
Yeah but Beltre's injury wasn't an in-game thing.
Which matters why?
Umm... because we didn't watch him lay on the ground?
And our 3rd one sucked.
Make me a happy again Branyan.
Branyan says no.
Just coming in, didn't see the injury.

How did it look? 4-6 weeks bad?

Hard to say, but it didn't look good
No way to tell how long she is going to be out.

He was hurting though. Down for 10 minutes or so.

If the Mariners can get this game to a 2-run deficit, I'll rethink their possibility of winning the game.

Until then, I’m just going to sit here shaking thinking about Gootz and being thankful that at least he wasn’t taken off the field by truck.

Boned?
Griffey to CF?
I've got my toe on the rail
.

What the hell?!? I don't get it but it's funny
what? NO WAY!
Free Emoticons you say!
dammit
Way to ruin our evenings
It was totally this that ruined my evening.
STUPID NON-PADDED WALLS!
Fuck off Raburn
So is there any reason major league baseball doesn't require all outfield walls to be padded?
The Ivy looks neat
No one dropped a "HANNAHAN SOLO!"?

Wow, we are depressed.

So, should I avoid watching the inevitable repeat of the wall crash?
Less gruesome than:

!

I blame Johjima.
This wouldn't have happened if he knew how to call a better game.
More selfish than Ichiro. Goddamned Jews and their Fang Shway.
If someone did a gif of it would they get negatively rec'd?
They should be banned
OH THANK GOD
BRUISED ELBOW AND KNEE XRAYS NEGATIVE
X-rays are negative!

He’s day-to-day!

Day-to-day

FUCKING AWESOME!!

Gutz is Day-to-Day
Only elbow and knee contusion. X-Rays Negative!

Playoffs!

BUYBUYBUYBUYBUY. SELLSELL:SELLSELL
YES YES YES
OMG YESYEYSYEYSEYSYEYSYEYSEYSYEYSYEYS

YES!

OH MY GOD IVE NEVER BEEN MORE RELIEVED IN MY LIFE

I have tears of relief right now

Thank god, I almost don't care about the outcome of this game any more.
LANGERHANS!
Let us hope that it stays day-to-day
Holy shit, that was great
HOLY SHIT WE'RE BACK IN THIS
LANGERHANS!!!
What the hell is happening?
LEFTIES MOTHERFUCKER
Wooo it's a ballgame!
Someone needs to relay this info to the dugout so we care again
Whoa, win one for the Gipper
LANGERHANS AND HANNAHAN HIT HOMERUNS!
Langerhanhanhan!!!
LANGERHANS

HOLY FUCK THIS GAME IS GOING TO LEAVE ME A GIBBERING MESS!

GERMANHANS AND HAMMERHANS!

Homer Power!

Holy shit, things just went from awful to not so bad at all

Gutz is alright and we’re back in this game

YES!!!!!!!

I can’t get describe my feelings right now.

wow fail. I can't describe*
You can't describe how to describe that you can't describe your feelings.
GUTZ TRANSFERED HIS OFFENSIVE POWER TO LANGERHANNAHAN!
Is FSN showing the Twins-A's game from last night by mistake?
Wow, it's a 3 run game?
3 run game, and Guteirrez is all right!
Han brothers hr.
Our free stuff is awesome
Drayer Twitter

Guti update. Left knee and elbow contusions, X-rays on the elbow were negative. He is day to day.3 minutes ago from web

And I missed the note above-- I was too startled by the HR
If Seattle ends up winning,

this could become the most bipolar game thread ever.

I'm fairly certain nothing will ever top Felix getting Beltran'd.
Felix Slam?
And I'm a fool for not thinking of that.

My apologies.

What the fuck is up with Brandon Inges random power?
He hit 20 something homeruns in 2006
I see

But didn’t he have around 16 at the all-star break?

Yeah, but he's always been a strong dude, but hasn't got the PT/or slumpped
Looks like Chris is going to be right.
Gerald Laird's gameday photo makes me think that Gerald Laird is someone you wouldn't want to let children be around.
Remember when Felix struck out the side with 9 pitches? Weren't they all called strikes?
Random?
Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts
Cheering us up!
Remember when Edgar hit that double? Didn't Griffey score from first?
Pretty much, the radio guys were kind of yammering about nothing. It isn't mentioned very often

Pretty rare, I liked it as much as his grand slam

There were a bunch of swinging strikes, and one foul tip.

And Dan Uggla was so traumatized by the experience that he commited an error during the next inning.

Ryan doing his best Guti impression
I really want to hug Franklin Gutierrez right now
I'd be afraid of making it worse.
I'm sure he is sore and wouldn't like it very much.

Well not being gay and all.

I would be gentle
So, what's the prognosis on Guti?
X rays negative, two contusions, day to day.
Thank god.

Though how the hell he only got a contusion from that crash involved dark magic.

Fate was on our side today
Near death, searching for a priest
He's gotta roll a d20 for a constitution check?
He needs to make a saving throw.
That's what I was looking for!

My nerd memory failed me. Dammit.

I don't think its a saving throw if you have negative hp. Just a stabilization check against your constitution.

But I haven’t played in a long time.

He has -1 HP. He needs to roll to stop the bleeding.
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation needed... Call gregrabble

I was just yelling at the computer screen earlier, while watching the game.

Ess Jr said, "Daddy, those guys just need some bubble gum and a new outlook on things. Huh.

Good about Gutz. Very good

Also, is it wrong that I’m now have the mad loves for Jak for taking one for the team in this shitty-ass game?

Fu-ka-you? Fu-te-ni!

Groovy baby, groovy

HOLY SHIT YES
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAMMERHANDS!!!1
HOLY KDLJSATEY(UROIE#WQAHTGRIOLGFAI$RH
HAMMERHANS WHAT THE HELL!
Un fucking real
HANNAHAN SOLO!

Number Two!!!!!

HANANANANANANAHAAAAAANNN!!!!!
Ja! Iss gud!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
hanannanananananananananananahanb
Looks like I missed some excitement

Holy shit Hannahan

JACK HANNAHAN HOLY SHIT!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? I FEEL LIKE DANCING AROUND AND SINGING

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I LOVE YOU MARINERS!

GUTIERREZ MIND MELDED WITH HANNAHAN BEFORE LIMPING OFF THE FIELD
Guti and Hannahan switched bodies.
Wak is laughing his ass off!
Dave mentioned on the radio side that Wak had Hannahan working in the cages for an hour before the game ...
HAHAHAHAHANANNANANANANH!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHANANNANANANANH!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness!
I honestly am just in complete shock, this day has gone from horrible, to potentially awesome
This game can only be topped with a Cedeno home run and a Johnson pinch hit home run.
HAMMERHAN, HAMMERHAN, HAMMERHAN
HANNAHASEX!
This has been the weirdest, most bi-polar 2 hours of my life...
It just occurred to me that if Franklin had made that catch we'd be tied.
THIS FUCKING TEAM

IF I HAVE A HEART ATTACK I’M SUING THE MARINERS

CEDENO!

I LOVE BASEBALL!

This is nuts!
It seems like someone might have a can of magic afterall.
I am so bewildered but I love it.
Fu-Te Ni

I guess missing out on signing this guy worked out for the Mariners

Ok, it's the 6th inning

Let’s DO this shit!

What the fuck is going on

No me gusta

Sims just called Gutz "By far the best player the Mariners have"

I dont know how I feel about that. The “by far” may be a bit much.

He's been amazing.
Could be though.
I would say

1. Ichiro
2. Felix
3. Guti

Probably you should switch Guti and Ichiro.
For the record, it's a very close 1-2-3

But I guess we’ll just agree to disagree

He's the 12 most valuable player in all of baseball this season so far.
*12th.
Im aware. Im just not ready to say he's better than Ichiro yet
BUT HE ALSO HAS THE SPEED AND SEX OF 12 MEN
He probably should have qualified it by saying "this month"
Yeah

Or hottest instead of best.

I'm afraid to get too excited because I remember we still have to pitch to these assholes.
Holy Crap we are still in it!

I left after the Guti injury…

HAMMERHANS
AKA THE BANANAHAMMER
I love Dave Sims.
Time to tie this motherfucker up
Steal Ichiro
Wait a batter
I don't want to.
Branyan who you gonna call?

Slumpbusters!

Garrett Olson!
Well this is the weirdest game I've picked up in the middle.
It looks like they forgot to finish the letters on Ni's jersey.
So looking at the pitcher, am I the only one who thinks of the Knights who say Ni?

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