Thoughts On A Picture
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 28, 2009 4:05 PM PDT
in Miscellaneous
- Much like Bigfoot, Chris Shelton is both easily identifiable and best viewed from a distance.
- Chris Shelton was supposed to be in focus, but the camera resisted.
- This is the picture Chris Shelton's mom has framed on the mantle.
- Chris Shelton's better side is neither his left nor his right, but twenty paces.
- When he isn't wearing a hat, Chris Shelton looks like someone put furry red handcuffs around a fish.
- NOW YOU SEE, CARLOS. NOW YOU SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE
- According to the penal definition, whereby a criminal becomes remorseful over learning that his actions had real consequences on real people, Carlos Silva has been rehabilitated.
- Franklin Gutierrez has a look of smug but indifferent resignation, like he's sitting there thinking "well whatever I did my part." Which is probably true. Life's hard when you're that much better than pretty much everyone around you. Just ask Adrian Gonzalez, or Babe.
- Notice that Silva has about six feet of empty bench space on either side of him.
Huh...
I see what you mean…
PositivePaul - July 28, 2009
It's been a while since we've seen a pitcher who looks like he smells
Carlos Silva’s just doing his bit to rectify the situation.
Eyeball Kid - July 28, 2009
Regarding the second-to-last point,
I think you’re forgetting Franklin’s missed catch on that fly at the wall. The game was probably lost by that point anyway, but it killed my boner.
I Lick Squirrels - July 28, 2009
Whatever, he went 3-5
Jeff Sullivan - July 28, 2009
But unlike Shelton...
Bigfoot is real.
OceanBird - July 28, 2009
And it was then that Franklin Gutierrez removed his hat...
and revealed the re-haired troll head growing out of his skull.
Attractive Nuisance - July 28, 2009
Notice, also ...
Silva is about 6 feet from Franklin, yet still bigger in the frame. Apparently, the laws of perspective and vanishing point do not apply to him.
HitKing69 - July 28, 2009
Silva looks like...
He has a nice game of gameboy tetris going on.
Mariner Optimist - July 28, 2009
The mirrors installed on the front wall of the dugout...
don’t appeal to everybody.
Attractive Nuisance - July 28, 2009
Spot the richest motherfucker in the photo
lemonverbena - July 28, 2009
He's getting his space for a reason...
Carlos is a very hungry man and Mike Morse wasn’t actually traded.
Adam B - July 28, 2009
Also...
Adam B - July 28, 2009
Rocky road?
Pessimistic Optimist - July 28, 2009
Baby Ruth?
HitKing69 - July 28, 2009
That pretty much sums it up.
Sundevil78 - July 28, 2009
The picture of Shelton at Utah seems to confirm Jeff's theory that cameras exhibit resistance
when faced with Shelton.
marc w - July 28, 2009
Yikes, that is creepy.
Heydude - July 28, 2009
So... the all fugly team?
Bearskin Rugburn - July 28, 2009
SP has to be this guy
although I’d prefer to keep this to living players
Bearskin Rugburn - July 28, 2009
Randy Johnson is one ugly fucker.
InSpokane - July 28, 2009
Willie McGee is on that team as is Otis Nixon.
Sec 108 - July 29, 2009
This reminds of the portion of Tosh.0 when he tries to cram as many jokes about one video as he can into 20 seconds.
evanr - July 28, 2009
I could've done more
Jeff Sullivan - July 28, 2009
Well, unlike Tosh.0, this actually made me laugh.
It’s a shame that one of the best stand-up comics around has one of the worst shows around.
evanr - July 28, 2009
Chris Shelton
spittle8 - July 29, 2009
You must Login with your SB Nation account and be a member of Lookout Landing to post a comment.