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Lookout Landing

7/30: Open Game Thread, Part 2

What's funny is how that was a better start from Olson than I was expecting. 

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What the fuck?
Nice throw.
That was actually a great throw by Johnson.
Oh my God the Cubs totally fleeced us
What makes you say this?
Yeah, I wouldn't really cry for Aaron Heilman.

It ain’t exactly Jones/Tillman/Sherrill

That's like saying Aaron Heilman is valuable.
I know!

I would even say that this takes a lot of the shine off the Putz trade.

I hate Hank Blalock!
Sims calls it a "legendary play"
Heh. Threw out an Old Man.
It's like picking on an autistic person.
I predicted 5 runs and yanked in the 4th inning.

I’m a little miffed that I was off by the one run.

What's funny is that I expected Olson to give up three homeruns today.

And what was Vizquel doing over there?

Rob Johnson is Johnny Bench

Just infinitely more shitty.

He's like Kenji except intangibles!
For "intangibles" read "whiteness"
Why, it's astonishing he doesn't need a translator when he goes up to chat on the mound!
I'm a bit concerned about our chances of scoring 10 runs today.
I feel like I've gone out on a date with Jarrod Washburn and at the end of the night he takes me home. He goes in for a kiss but I reject him, giving him a courtesy hug instead because the date hadn't gone so well.

So he stands there for a moment and I say “Bye.” He says nothing and is still there.

Finally, I can’t stand it anymore as I open the door and scream “WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!?!?! GO!!!”

Someone finally got the message.

Who is that?
That is the biggest hamster you'll ever see.
.

Armageddon!

I don't know...

Can someone fit Rob Johnson up their ass?

Silva isn't busy.
Aye, dios mio!
99 bottles of lube on the wall, 99 bottles of lube...
No megusta! Es mui malo!
Okay, his pitches are really not that impressive.

What the fuck?

Shelton swings at everything.
DEREK HOLLAND HAS STRUCK OUT SIX ALREADY.

We’re on the way to making this kid a legend.

A pitcher who los to the Royals is going to throw a perfect game against us
Yay Hannahan!

Fuck you Holland!

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Fuck you, Holland

Thank God

I really thought we were going to get no-hit

Hannahan!!!

Hahahahahaha

Fuck your perfect game.
WOOOOO MY FAVORITE PLAYER
WOOOOO MY FAVORITE PLAYER
hold the fuck up
Don't act like you didn't know he was my favorite player.
Erik?
No, he's my favorite human.
I'm his number one fan
I'll be number two.
This is where I make a sexist comment
This is where I shake my head and chuckle as if to say "oh that Fogel"
I totally thought Andrus was going to make that play.
HandyMan!
Round of applause for 4.2 IP of perfect baseball? Please..
Texas doesn't really have much to cheer for
Much more than us.
What are you talking about?

They’re in a close pennant race and are 13 games over .500

Aside from being in the race and having a lot of great prospects on the way?
Bahahaha fuck you perfect game!

I will miss you Hannahan.

We get no-hit for four innings the game after no-hitting someone else for six.
That was some really shitty effort

by the Rangers middle infield, especially considering the perfect game going on

They both have awesome range

there’s no way they get to that.

I didn't say they could get to it

I just thought the week jog was sad effort for the circumstances

Zero chance in hell.
HAHA, fuck off Holland.
He'll probably still shut us out.

But I’m glad we pissed away his perfect game/no-hitter with a meaningless dink single.

Goddammit Yuni.
I thought it was funny.
We make Texas pitching look great.
Not all Texas pitchers are equal.

Holland is a good pitcher.

Oh my god we are getting punked
Punk'd

Proper punctuation please.

MICHAEL YOUNG? AGAIN?
Just one of those players who does insanely well against us.
Mother of God I hate this cocksucker.
This is excrutiating to watch
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
WE'RE STILL IN THIS WE'RE BUYERS KEEP WASH
Even Randy Newman would say enough is enough.
We have good pitchers.

:)

Jakubauskas threw "The Ostritch" and it was promptly murdered.
I hope Branyan is back tomorrow

I really want to see him blast one 450 ft.

So if we trade Wash, who starts Sunday?
Snell
Going to make a couple of AAA starts is the word
Would he still make the starts if Washburn gets traded?
I don't know

I just don’t know of another obvious option, other than maybe Morrow.

Snell, I imagine.
Someone who's going to get lit the hell up.
NEVER FORGET:

Oh my god is that Chris Reitsma?
It's Jakubauskas!

Check Gameday, his mug’s staring right at you.

Wow never mind

but still

What... is that?
It's Gollum from the old Rankin Bass animated version of the Lord Of The Rings.
Really? I thought it was Land Before Time for some reason.
Nope. Lord of the Rings.
Actually I was about to suggest the same thing.
Looks like the same artist.
Heh.

Stone on no. 9 in Mariners’ history after Jack W chooses his uni number.

Wilson is really excited to finally be in a pennant race!
It's gonna be a real downer when we finish 79-83
12 games out
Hey, he moved 100 points higher in winning percentage...
Man, that fucking HURTS when you get hit in the head by a foul tip.

I was umping a 14 year old game, pitcher was throwing roughly 70, and a foul tip gave me a concussion. Didn’t knock me out, but that shit hurts.

Was this 14 years ago or are you some sort of timelord?
14 year old players =\
Rec'd because you used the word "timelord"
Poor Michael Saunders
Robots wouldn't need all this protection they're talking about.
True, but umpires won't

develop rapidly improving artificial intelligence and one day learn that true freedom can only exist in a world without humans — their creators.

And umpires wont develop their own weapons systems and organize an army with its sole mission to completely annihilate humanity.

And umpires will not develop cyborg assassins to travel back in time and destroy our leader.

Says the man who forgot about Eric Gregg.
Meh, I'll likely be dead by then.
That is what an undercover cyborg assassin would say,

to throw us off the track

The craftiest cyborg assassin would be the one raising the alarm about cyborg assassins.

He’s the last one you would suspect…

Which is exaxtly what the REAL cyborg assassin would say...
It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.
I know now why you Mariners fans cry.
I want to drill a third eye in between Derek Holland's too closely-spaced preexisting two.

Trepanation is the only answer for his face.

I smile whenever anyone brings up trepanation.
I find that it doesn't get brought up often enough in general.
I did my part years ago.
Derek Holland looks really good

it’s not just the M’s lineup. The Rangers are gonna be good.

He really doesn't.

Nothing he is tossing looks unhittable.

Like that's ever stopped us before
He's had great control and dozens of minor league hitters would beg to differ.

He’s a good pitcher.

I usually rip apart the Jack in the Box commercials as of late.

But the “Big Deal” one is pretty funny.

Costco is the greatest store ever and Jack of Jack in the Box is the worst Jack in the history of humankind.
Pretzels Pretzels Pretzels
Pretzel party at my place
Is that new bling from Jak?
Can we call hemp necklaces "bling"?
Is it hemp or titanium?
His old one was, wasn't it?
I have no idea what a hemp necklace is.
??

You’re lucky, I suppose.

In due time, I might find out.
Its what hippie gangstas flash
Jeez Rob Johnson sucks.

And Saunders looks like he gots no farking clue at the plate.

No one has a clue today.
Hard to focus on Saunders when everyone looks helpless.
Yes, you're right. It's not just Saunders but the whole lower half of the line-up is so feeble it can get aggravating sometimes
Especially with Rob Johnson in there instead of Johjima.
You seem to labor under the mistaken belief that Johjima is any better than Johnson.
How funny, you think Rob Johnson is a better hitter than Johjima.

And even funnier is your “labor under the mistaken belief” comment. You’re no Matthew (or even Graham! just kidding).
I should say that, if you think Rob Johnson is a better hitter than Johjima, then “I don’t know what to say to you”.

No, Johnson isn't better than Johjima, but the difference isn't great.

And neither are any great shakes defensively.

They're both pretty worthless at the plate.
(And I've been a big Johjima fan.)
GREAT DEFENSE, CHRIS.
I wish Hannahan had a better arm
Beltre back in KC!!!!!!!
Glug glug glug
I hope that's not drain cleaner :(
Super cold white wine! With an ice cube!
A white wine spritzer with lime is also tasty.

should one have wine, seltzer and a lime.

Hmm.

I think there is still an Inversion IPA in the crisper.

Hey did you like those?

I just picked up a new one yesterday, Dick’s Brewing Company out of Centralia. Has a really sharp bite, I like it.

I did-- I was surprised by the hoppiness, but I like it.

And I got to use my brand-new Budgie bottle opener from Australia

Should be charged to Shelton.
Shelton has to stop that ball.

That’s not even a difficult play.

And we got Hannahan for his glove, right?

I know, Shelton should have had it, but still.

He has a great glove

It’s his arm that’s questionable.

I gotcha, that makes sense.
Way to show off your lame hackey sack skills with the rosin bag, you giant hippy.
Lordy, Andruw is turning into a portly chap.
He has a figure that would look good in a tophat and monacle.
Drayer via twitter

Snell assigned to Tacoma but will make a stop here to throw a bullpen before reporting.

And during that session Jim Moore will stand off to the side calling Snell a pussy and making fun of him for feeling depressed.
Well, we could use him up here.

But I am guessing Jack Z wants to test him out in Tacoma first.

Mike Sweeney cannot hug away the stench of teamwide failure tonight.
Dont say that about Mike Sweeney hugs

As far as I’m concerned, they’re the new Chuck Norris.

Michael Young just does this to us because Jeff used to make fun of him.

Thanks for nothing, Sullivan.

Okay, I'm done.
Holy crap, ANOTHER HR?
Well, the Mariners are getting a thorough ass whooping from the Rangers right about now.
I am utterly annoyed by this stadium.
Somehow I don't think it's the stadium.
It's a combo of the stadium and Jak and Olson's lack of talent.
It has to be.
Only if they have some kind of wind generator

that they can turn off during the first half inning.

That would be just cheap,but a nice idea.
Don't worry they'll be exhausted tomorrow from all the slow trots around the bases
They should call it American Bandstand at Arlington
Aaaaahhhh.

it finally occurred to me to alter the fan vs laptop configuration. Even if the game sucks, the air is cooler.

Jack Wilson must feel right at home tonight.
.

Adair: Stop sucking.

I hope and pray for the day when I can lip-read a pitching coach saying

“Bitch, what the fuck are you DOING?!”

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COULD SOMEONE PUT BATISTA IN NOW?
Yeah I think it's tits time.

He can just go ahead and finish this game

I just want him out of the way early in the series
Thing I never thought I'd say for 500, Alex?
Or any other amount of money....

Regardless of what happens at the end of this season, I’m downing a bottle of champagne, because I know I will have seen the last of this.

Realistically, I think this game is over. Optimistically, we are going to win this 10-9!
Optimistically someone will overpay for Jarrod Washburn tonight.
It's sad, but my mind is kind of brainwashed to think that Washburn has improved.
He has, a little

just not nearly as much as the defense around him has.

And, I also think that if we get rid of Washburn we will lose more.
We probably would be slightly worse in 2009, but not enough to reall worry about.
How much worse would you say?
I mean what would you expext our record to be?
Honestly have no clue, I would guess we'd be a win worse or something.

Maybe not even that, depends on who replaces Washburn.

You take away the homeruns we gave up.

We’re actually throwing a shutout. [/McLaren]

I apoligize for posting another comment, but..

He actually said that?

Not that specific line but some variation of it.
He said it about Horacio Rameriez.

Something about if you took away the bad pitches he threw, he pitched pretty well.

Wow. That guy in the stands.
Gah! My eyes!!

Those boobs!

That's Texas...

Even the moobs are big.

"moobs" I love this word
Oh fuck, 7-0?

I’m glad I missed that inning.

This is an incredible pitchers duel
We've only gotten one hit.

And we were able to get to Halladay.

11 hits against Halladay, 1 against Holland.
Nolan is starting to bear a sad resemblance to Mickey Rooney.
Best actor

In the WORRRLD!

Nolan?

I’ve seen better.

It was an SNL reference

I may be dating myself by bringing it up….

I have a feeling we're about the same age.

I was kidding.

Sorry

I’m hot and not drunk, so my regularly catlike mental reflexes are probably just off.

I prefer my fellow posters to be hot AND drunk.
Sorry

Didn’t mean to drag you down to my (sober) level.

Im hoping someone gets my comment.
Luckily we've got the perfect fallout boy right here.
Didn't like "The Wrestler".
Good to know
We almost made it to the warning track!
Thinking back to Cleveland, 7-0 is NOTHING!
We have a 0% chance to win according to fg...
Derek Holland looks like a CGI
Man i wish this guy had a perfect game going
SCARIEST SCREEN NAME WINNER.
This is like Washburn but with more strikeouts.
Rangers dealing hard for Halladay, money is no object?

Rizzs was just handed a note on the radio

If they trade off Elvis in a deal for Halladay I'm going to laugh my ass off.
It says, "Trim eyebrows."
You really are a funny asshole!
One out of two ain't bad.
What

Rizzs might want to consider trimming his eyebrows.
Not everyone can be as baby-smooth as Brad Adam, though.

S'ok - Kermit's my pal. He's just fucking with me.
I figured as much

But I still stand by my assessment.

This is true.
That
Crap, I meant to say that's what I just heard.
Oh, please do it.
Get as many of those young prospects out of Texas as possible!
So sez their version of Pravda.

here

I'd like to see it happen just because

1.) It does make it more likely that they can overtake the Angels this season, which would be sweet.
2.) It harms them in the long run, which helps the Mariners.

Millwood may not start monday due to a strained ass!

Also I hope they do the deal.

Hmm. Would they really give up Feliz, Smoak, and another prospect?
Gosh I hope so.
I highly doubt it.
Me too, would you consider Nolan Ryan to be a bit of a wild card in the process?

All the bones he’s made about complete game type pitchers.

I love how

When the games go bad, this forum has the attention span of a 5-year old on ritalin and Red Bull.

Huh, what?
Would you like a sugar cookie, little girl?
Sure!

Can I go play in the wading pool, please?

NO!

Nothing but donuts and sleep deprivation!

Fritters!
Ok, that's just creepy

And it’s too long to go into, but perhaps someday we can talk about it over a beer.

im down for a 6th rangers homerun
Not be "that guy," but we really care about capitalization and punctuation here.

I mean REALLY care. So in the future…

(And of course I only notice this because the game isn't exactly scintillating)
And I think it's best not to root for the opposition.

(Eyebrows being an exception.)

It must be starting to cool down a bit-- all the birds are back at the feeders.
Wilson with the putout!!
And some teasing, it looks like from the reaction.
Jack attack!

We met some time ago
When we were so young
We’ve been through thick and thin
We lost, we’ve tied, we’ve won

Friends Forever (We’ll be friends forever)
With you everywhere (With you everywhere)
Friends forever (We’ll be friends)
Always will be friends (Always will be friends)

If you’re down,
I’ll pick you up,
I’ll never let you fall.
If you ever need someone,
I’m waiting for your call.

Friends Forever (We’ll be friends)
With you everywhere
Talkin bout Friends forever (Always will be there)
We’ll be there (We’ll be there)

Through it all, hangin’ tough,
We’ll stay side by side.
We’ll be friends forever,
Til’ the end of time.

Friends Forever (We’ll be friends)
With you everywhere
Talkin bout Friends forever (Always will be there)
We’ll be there (We’ll be there)
Yeah, yeah friends. (Friends forever)
Always be friends. (With you everywhere)
We’ll be friends together. (Friends forever)
Yes we will, (Always will be there there)
Yes we will, (Will be there)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oohhhh.

Do you have a job?
Hallmark Card Author.
I found that movie to be disappointing.
What movie?
I thought you were referring to "(500) Days Of Summer"

The main character is a Hallmark Card author.

Haven't seen it--

I assumed I would at some point, for the Gordon Levitt factor.

It's very good, don't get me wrong. He's fantastic in it, yet again.

But there are huge problems with the plotting and with the motivations of the main female character.

The best sequence — which you really ought to see if possible — is set to Hall & Oates’ “You Make My Dreams.” Pure awesome.

What are you insinuating?
That wasn't meant as a shot or anything by the way.
Studying for the bar exam, I would imagine.

Which, if he’s anything like me, is code for “fucking off until a week before the exam and then engaging in pants-shittingly frenetic cramming.”

Good to know our future legal system is in such well-prepared hands.
I was participating in gamethreads the night before day 1 of my exam.

Unbelievably, I passed without a hitch. I even passed the Character & Fitness part!

Nope. Just wrapped up a clerkship...

about to take a vacation

Do you mind if I ask whether it was federal or state?

And if federal, which circuit? I clerked too.

N D Cal
Nice. Figured it'd be West Coast.

7th Circuit for me.

Do you practice in Seattle?
Heavens no.

Chicago. Though I’m moving to Madison soon.

Cool.
Chicago is fantastic, I worry that Madison will be...less so.
Hah, I guess you found something to do...
Here comes the rally!
Hah! Fuck you, Holland!
Leadoff walk is a bad omen for the pitcher.
I love that they're booing Washington.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wait it's the 9th inning?

Huh.

Funny how fast games go when you don't put anyone on base.
How bout, "2 outs so what".
That was a long time ago.
2 down, who cares.

How about that?

Closer.
Giminiy Cricket it's 2 outs, we don't care about these outs we'll put a rally together!
Why so serious, Batman?
I don't like it, it just doesn't fit.
Um, that was a question for you, not a slogan.
I'm serious. Because, I want a good slogan.
Second inning, fuck it what's on ESPN?
VH-1 Where Are They Now would have been better entertainment.
Goodbye shutout!
YES NO SHUT OUT
HAHAHAHAHHAHA, no shutout.
Yay! Fuck Texas!
We cling to our petty victories so dearly, don't we?

I’m happy too.

After last year I like to cheer everything good that happens.

No matter how meaningless it may be.

God last year was such a black hole.

I can barely remember huge chunks of the season.

Did he really just take him out?

I would punch Washington in the face if he tried to take me out with 1 out left and a CGSO on the line. Fuck that.

He had 120 pitches.
In theory it wasn't a bad move. In theory.
Any retard can get Jose Lopez to ground out.
Fuck 120 pitches.

Rookie of the Year it and throw the damn ball underhand.

Yeah, should have at least waited for a run to score, especially when you're up 7.
He probably shouldn't have even been out there in the 9th considering he had yet to throw +100 pitches this year.
Sweeney dinger? Please?
C'mon Hot Stuff!
OH NO HE DIDN'T.
And here come the M's!
Dude if we hit a grand slam here we only need 2 more runs
Time to find your home run swing again, Chris.
Inside the parker!
From Chris Shelton, no less!
Hard to be a catcher ...

have to put your arm around large sweaty pitchers, and lie to them.

This image made me laugh
Rob Johnson ignited a rally!
He IS this team's sparkplug, after all.
He's the ignitor, obviously.
Ginge :(
Shelton has sort of a Tim Spall look.
Really? I don't see it myself.
I think it's the chinlessness.

Tim Spall of 20 years ago, of course.

A shorter Mark Williams?

Whatever, please trade Washburn.
Why did they have their gloves covering their faces?

I know it’s something obvious, probably.

They don't want to catch Swine Flu from Padilla.
So no one can read their lips.
The game is over.
They're planning on TPing the M's hotel.
Oh!!!!!!!!!!
Wasn't there an M's commercial with everyone covering their mouths?
They were throwing up from Cirillo's performance at the plate.
Yeah, I think so.

It certainly sounds familiar.

But it's rude to be seen on TV saying,

Well this series is going to be easy.

Gingers aren't even real people

So why is Chris Shelton allowed to play baseball?

It was really hard to resist chanting

FIRECROTCH! FIRECROTCH! when he was at the plate the last time I was at Safeco. There were lots of kids around…

Holland has made a murcual rise?

Really, Krueger?

5 degrees.
He couldn't even get mercurial out, it was murcural.
Wilson looks nothing like Steve-O

Griffey really comes off as the older guy that tries way too hard to still be young and cool.

Because 30-year old males didn't watch Jackass when it was on?

Griffey has been apparently calling Wilson that for years.

Just seems like a horrible reach of a nick name to me.
hmm.

I don't know,

I’ll eat some crow, he looks somewhat like him, it just seems like a stupid nickname.

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