SB Nation - Login for mobile commenting

Lookout Landing

7/8: Open Game Thread, Part 2

DAMN YOU CHRIS WOODWARD

BLESS YOU GARRETT OLSON

0 recs  |  853 comments

Comments

So who's coming in?
We're going to lose a series to a team with a bad road record.
worst in the league baby

but don’t forget about our equivically reliable bullpen

Maybe this thread will give us good luck
THAT IS UNQUESTIONABLY HOW THESE THINGS WORK
I know so let's hope it happens!
Well I'll be damned
Ahem

Where was Part 3?

Thank goodness our bullpen is so relia...

Bull.

I haven't been able to watch the game. Why did we take out Vargas? Pitch count?
Yes, 97 pitches
He threw 97 pitches and sucked.
wtf he sucked?

He missed the zone a lot, but the Orioles also missed him a lot…

Even when sucking... Batista? I've run out of tums.
He had something like 100 pitches in 5 innings.
Yes.

Plus he was down to the bottom of his box of Lucky Charms.

Maybe Olson can get as lucky as Vargas
Just in time!
Fuck the bullpen...and Woodward.
This is yesterday all over again.
ibgranny
You have three comments and two of them are complete nonsense
Clearly he's just telling us who he is.
Or she I guess,
Well Xavier is a guy's name, so it's quite the conundrum.
I think he's explaining to us that he is a granny
.

So what does this mean?

I'll be damned... that's a tough one.
That's probably just how he shows his excitement!
WHY WHY WHY I HATE THIS TEAM AND I HOPE BALTIMORE IS NEW ORLEANS V2 VERY SOON
Yes, Baltimore needs more hard luck.
What relation do Baltimore and New Orleans have?
Jose Lopez lost a sibling in both cities?
Omar on The Wire seemed to have a Creole accent.
Nah

His accent and dialect are unmistakably Baltimore.

That show was my only knowledge of Baltimore accents. And him and Prop Joe seemed to have a different accent than everyone else. I couldn't put a finger on it.
The accents were pretty spot on

But otherwise, the phrases used are uniquely Baltimore.

After season 1, they used mostly locals for casting.
Right

If you recall Lieutenant Mello, he has the most authentic accent for a white Baltimorean because he is Jay Landsman in real life.

Yeah, many of the actors weren't even actors, right? And the story about Omar meeting.. crap I forget her name... but the small girl? Awesome.

Snoop? Yeah, she was apparently a gangster growing up.

Killed a girl. Spent time in prison.
Did time for manslaughter!
Yeah

Many of the guys had some kind of history.

He was one of the few

Who had the right accent. I thought most of the other people were more like New York or Philly. Especially the black characters.

The police didn't have especially good accents for white people from Baltimore County

But I thought the street crew was a quite impressive.

Regardless, we’re nitpicking as the Philly accent is almost indistinguishable to the outsider.

I disagree

I taught in inner-city Baltimore and there was definitely a difference.

Then you know better than I do

My point was just that there isn’t a stark contrast between the two, and therefore the authenticity of the accent was “good enough.”

Wendell Pierce was from NOLA
Do you even know what a Creole accent is?
Yes what we need now is obviously Garett Olson
Lefty at bat!!
Don't worry guys... Mark Lowe is warming up!

Here he comes to save the daaay!

Markakis Sucks against lefites. And everyone is great against Batista.
Lefty lefty
I am just sad that we don't have a better lefty
I heard BJ Ryan is available
SELL SELL SELL SELL
Crowd noise?

What be this?

Are they all shouting "ARGH"?
YES FUCK YOU MARKAKIS
Please something not terrible happen

Yeay!

I can't be the only one who sees this

You are not.
I was thinking:

ALL WE NEED NOW IS A DOUBLE PLAY RIGHT NOW!!!

RIGHT FUICKING NOW

PHEW!

Get out of this before Luke Scott comes up.

WE RE ON A MOTHERFUCKING BOAT

No fucking way.
GARRETT OLSON LET ME LOVE YOU
The plot thickens
I can read this one
Olson Time!!!
GARRETT OLSON MOTHERFUCKER THAT WAS BRILLIANT
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYEYS
OH HELL FUCKING YEAH
OLSON!!!!!!!
3 on, so what?!?
WELL HELL YES
Thank you Mr Olson.
FUCK YES THAT WAS LIKE MARK LOWE WHEN HE WAS PRETTY GOOD!
HAHAHA YES YES YES.
Out of everything I expected to happen there...that was not it...
OK OLSON HOVER YOUR FUCKING BALLS OVER MY GOB YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET A FUCKING TEABAGGING
I hope this comment isn't also posted from the bathroom
You are a genius
Yes!!
This comment could be completely misconstrued
People can decide for themselves
Seems pretty clear to me
Other way around neighbor
THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BATTING TY WIGGINTON THIRD O'S
GARRETT OLSON IS MY HERO
Luckiest team in baseball.
PLAYOFFS!!!
WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!!!
Fuck me with a bandicoot I needed that
?

Something our bullpen hasn't done yet.
BIGGEST CONTRIBUTION - GARRETT OLSON
THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR ROBBING US BALTIMORE WE WANT OUR PROSPECTS BACK
We'll give you Garrett Olson for Adam Jones
How the hell did that happen
Hey alright six more outs!

we’re boned

I WANT OLSON TO TAKE ME BEHIND THE SHED AND MAKE A MADAIN OUT OF ME.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ronny's walkup music is from before his little ass was born
Thought it was Paramore?
Not today!
They alternate for each appearance.
I don't remember what the name of this hip hop song is
RUNS
But :(edeno is up...
And down
He swung and missed a lot
You just wish he swung and missed with you
Fuck Heilman
We also got Olsen in that trade.
Aaaahh

cognitive dissonance

Shocker
I'm off work in a few.
Ronny sucks

season over

they are starting the wave right behind us :(
KNOCK THEM THE FUCK OUT
Seriously.
At my orientation for UW, our student guide could not stop talking about

how UW “invented” the wave.

UUGGGHHHH

Shouldn't you be in PJs recovering from a plague rather than mobile posting?

Or are you working on biological warfare?

UNIT 731!
Oh, that's what that means.
i i i i i i I I I I I I YYYYYYY I I I I I i i i i i
That was a really quick inning
The A's DFA'd Dana Eveland.
Really?
Yeah, just saw it on mlb network.
Worth a pickup, anyone?
I think he's kind of ugly but if that's your thing then go chase some pro tail
Doesn't throw strikes, mediocre swinging strike rate, but 55% GBs

and lefty!

And his name is Dallas, so he's almost assuredly a douchecracker
Dana.
Which sounds kind of duchey as well.
Whoops. In my head it was Dallas Braden
Which made less sense, because he's not awful
Except his name is Dana, so he's probably a girl
Ichiro hit for the cycle of outs

Pop Out, Line Out, Ground Out, Strike Out

Fly out?
I shouldve called the pop out a fly out
Even when he sucks he manages to do something amazing.
Who is ready for Lowe time? I MOTHERFUCKING AM!
I had Lowe

In the first inning “who is going to blow this game” prediction contest.

- nervous

I think we are due a BLOWN SAVE!!!
2 good lefties coming up this inning, why not keep Olson in?
Next on the Bullpen Roulette Wheel

Mark Lowe

Woo wait did he just throw his change up???
That's why we love you Guti, that's why we love you.
GUTIERREZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT SOUNDED EXCITING
I forgive you Guti...
Franklin Gutierrez is so awesome.
GUTI IS CRUSING!
Holy crap I think Niehaus just had a heart attack
OOOOOHHHHHHH I LOVE YOU GUTI
AND HOLY SHIT ANOTHER LINE DRIVE!
Dave made that one sound iiiiincredible!
Ah, catching up from having to leave during the last game thread.
GUTI WOOOOOO
I think I just

jizzed in my pants

HE THREW SOMETHING THAT WAS NOT A FASTBALL!
Game day claims he threw a slider.
Er

a change up

He took 1 mph off of it
Send pitch to Huff was a change

a 90mph change

Woooooooooooooo!
Very nice Mark, very nice
YES LOWE SO FAR ISN'T SUCKING TODAY
Huff smoked a liner, so yes he is
One liner, one strikeout.. Not sure we can lean one way or the other
Another K. I'll say he didn't suck today.
He;s locating his change

and is ok with the FB. I’ll take it.

I thought your K rates were dropping!
I love Mark Lowe on the rare occasions he's good
You mean in 2006?
Did Lowe lose a lot of velocity?
If he lost a lot of velocity and still throws 99

he would be Sidd Finch

I had no idea what his velocity was today. I just thought I read somewhere that he wasn't as fast. 99 tho?
He's got it back now

hard to say what it is. His slider/change in 2006 were just killer. Now he can’t get them by anyone.

So, what now? He's Brandon Morrow?
Brandon Morrow is a starter

so, no.

He's Mark Lowe

Brandon Morrow has diabetes

Mark Lowe also has diabetes.
Does he really?
Yup
As apparently does Niehaus

here

“Broadcaster Dave Niehaus put a scare in his wife Saturday morning when he was hard to awaken after his blood sugar level dropped into the 30s. Paramedicss were called, Niehaus made a quick hospital stop – for food and orange juice – and made it to the ballpark in time to call the game. "I’m fine. I had a reaction to some insulin, but I’m fine," Niehaus insisted. "No big deal."”

That's what it was? Whew, I was worried he had a mini stroke or something awful
That's why you gotta wrap it up during those Spartan initiations amirite?
How many more diabetic pitchers can we get?

I guess we’ll save money on needles.

Ouch. Unneccessary stab at diabetes.
No, surprisingly not.

His change/split used to be nasty, but it’s not been the same since his surgery, and he uses other pitches more now anyway.

I wasn't a baseball fan until '07 :(
Nice! Two Ks for Lowe
I want to know

How much money our debt-ridden state wastes on those fucking annoying Match 4 commercials

no politics brah
Thats not politics

those commercials have to be annoying to people of every political background

Uh, state? I believe that is a political entity

QED

I think that, regardless of politics, we can agree that the match 4 commercials are fucking horrible and need to be stopped.
State makes bank on numbers
Now time for Aardsma to get 2BBs and 3Ks
Kid, that's sick.
Garett Olson saved our season

Garett Olson.

Screw 1995, Garrett Olson saved baseball in Seattle.
Garrett*

And Aardsma is about to blow it anyways!

Whoooooooo!

Can we score another run?

JOSE LOPEZ
HALL
OF
FAMEEEEE
(in eighteen years or so)
(and minus... six more siblings)
(e.g. his parents better get busy)
His parents days are numbered.
Seriously, I hope J-Lo has a good season, I really do.
Who? Nobody on this team by that name

Ever.

ever ever.

THE KING OF SWING
Can imagine if Jones

hadn’t been moved from SS because of our middle infield depth?

Was he a good SS?
He supposedly had the tools to stick there
CF is much, much better for him.

It was less MIF depth than trying to make him a really valuable player. Hell, they didn’t move Tui from SS at the same time, and there’s no way in hell anyone thought he had the tools to stick there.

It seems like SS and CF are pretty similar though in terms of production you expect from the plate, right?

And even more valuable if you’re doing it from SS, right?

If he could be a plus defensive CF or a minus SS, you take the former.

Sure, SS is more valuable all things being equal, but all things were not equal.
They made the right move.

He was an awful SS. right?
But he wasn't neccessarily going to stay a minus SS

He very likely had the range and definitley had the arm to stick. Even Omar Vizquel was running the .950 fielding % in the minors

It would've been an uphill climb to get to average/plus SS.

Yes, Betancourt was there too, but still.
He was 19, they expected him to fill out, AND he was error prone without the great reactions of a natural SS.

He was definitely error prone

and may have had to move off later but if I recall correctly he was moved because of Yuni rather then that he had exhausted his chance of sticking at SS

No.

Hence the move to CF.

HE'S ON THE FUCKING ORIOLES
ANDINO!!!!
ANGINA!!!
WRONG PLAYER!
I JUST WANTED TO SAY ANGINA...as in the medical condition.
HAHAHAHAHAHA THEIR SHORTSTOPS SUCK AT THROWING
Aeroposto! 3-0!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
THE O'S DEFENCE IS SIMPLY AWFUL
I LOVE IT WHEN BAD DEFENSE BENEFITS US
This is going to be the worst shutout ever.
Still time to blow it!
Salazar

the Orioles’ Woodward

That's right, you better IBB Langerhans.
Love the chicken sound...
Wow, IBB Langerhans!?
This series has seen a couple of incredibly unlikely IBBs
Langerhans isn't that bad
There were two outs
Well yes that is kind of odd then I guess
Have we discussed the chicken sound in the past?

Seems pretty ridiculous during an at-bat. But amusing.

I am a fan of the chicken sound in almost any circumstance.
C'mon, Kenji, make them PAY!!
... you're aware it's Kenji Johjima at the plate, right?
That's not exactly the currency I expected them to be paid in.
I guess Langerhans >>> Johjima
A rat turd covered in guebe dust >>> Johjima
Dave Trembley: King of the Buh? IBB
I GUESS THE IBB WAS CORRECT
"Because then they struck out Johjima"
Someday, in a better, brighter future

the low and away slider isn’t going to spell automatic strikeout for half our lineup.

Kenji is a good teammate, he didn't want to ruin the save opp for Aardsma.
ALL ABOARD THE AARDSMA EXPRESS
Dammit, people keep coming up and asking me questions.
That isn't supposed to happen
WOOOOOOOOOOOO REGRESSION!
NO DAMN IT! IT CAN'T HAPPEN TO AARDSMA!!
Ever since Kaz in 2001, when I had him in fantasy BB:

Whenever the Ms are up by 2-3 late in the game, I feel like I dont really want them to score, because we wont get a save. I wish I could stop feeling that way.

A deep flyball that wasn't caught!?
Zaun looks like he drives a molester van.
They have vans?
The inning will go:

2B, Walk, K, Walk, K, and then OMG GUTI CATCHES IT

I typed that before the balls
That would be nice

if terrifying.

YOU ARE A DAMNED LIAR!
GET HIM OUT OF THERE THIS IS THAT ANGELS GAME ALL OVER AGAIN
Cedeno w/ the encouragement

Pretend I’m batting

When was Aardsma last in a game?
Game two of the Boston series
Ok it's Oscar Salazar just throw strikes
Well this is a bunch of shit.
The Aardsma Express is getting derailed :(
Alright, who said it was time for a blown save?
English Mariner!
This is not encouraging.

BRING BACK GARRETT OLSON!

Aardsma is getting them right where he wants to.

Then all their guys will swing at his crap trying to get RBIs, and he’ll get Ks

Is this the unexpected kablooey?
It'
s cool guys.
s

Monty Python’s Flying Circus!

Fucking hell.
God damn it why is this happening
So Jones can hit into a triple play? Redemption?
This is the kind of shit you can't get away with if you wanna contend.
Yes, no good team ever allows baserunners.
REGRESSION! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Fucking dammit.
I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.
It's amusing to more neutral observers.
Is it now?
Yes.

Yes it is.

I'm happy if you're happy.
YOU ARE NOT NEUTRAL STOP IT
AHHHHHHHH

NO DON’T LOSE TO THE ORIOLES

Don't get ahead of yourself
WHY AARDSMA WHY DO YOU HAVE TO REGRESS AS WELL
OH HOORAY ADAM FUCKING JONES
This is the part of the game where I shit my pants
A different shitty pitcher every day.
Bases loaded, nobody out with Jones up.

What could possibly go wrong?

Put yourself on the mound, Adair!
Dave Niehaus sure was excited for that hit
ABANDON SHIP
I CANT SWIM
STILL PREFERABLE
RIGHT NOW YES GOD DEATH COME SWIFTLY
I have a floaty.
YOU DONT ON THIS SHIP SISTER
I HATE THIS SHIP
Welcome aboard the HMS Titanic!
WHERE IS GARRETT OLSON
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahahahahahaha

getting cockpunched hurts less if yo see it coming and brace yourself first

Oh I miss Beltre
WHAT THE FUCK.
Jesus fucking Christ
FUCK ME

I WANT YOU BACK BELTRE.

WOODWARD YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT
FOR FUCK'S SAKE WOODWARD
AAAAAAAAAAAARGH
And now the cheap hit portion of the inning
OH FUCK YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU WOODWARD GO THE FUCK AWAY
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHEN I WALKED AWAY?

BAD MARINERS
BAD
BAD

ANGELS BASEBALLED!
A NEW DAY A NEW WAY
YOU SUCK WOODY!
;sfdjbpdfsjb'snavd';bdsrtgrhbaeb
I want Adrian back.
We're going to lose.

I can’t believe it.

I can't see this ending well
Jesus Christ this is awful
Oh god oh god oh god oh god
Non-Beltre moment #2.
AWOOOOOOOGAAAAAA AWOOOOOOOOOGAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAARGSMA
Quiroz for third baseman.
Matt Kata for third?
Beltre and like two other 3B in the majors make that play.
This is really lame.
I could do without this Woodward character
This reminds me of the Morrow meltdowns in the Texas series
LOPEZ FOR THIRD
You sure about that?
FUCK, nevermind
"Adam Jones singles on a soft ground ball to Chris Woodward"

Even Gameday is judgmental

Exactly. Just about to say that.
Come on come on come on
No Beltre is fail :(
I may need orthodontia for years of clenched teeth thanks to this clusterfuck of a team.
I've already conceded the tie, just get outs.
Damn

WPA dropped to 57% it was at like 93% last I looked.

THROW A SPLITTER OR SOMETHING
YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDNIG MW
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL LOAFIE??????????????
OH MY FUCKING GOD, FUCK YOU LOPEZ!
HOLY SHITTTT!!!!!!
fucking Lopez
STOP BEING TERRIFYING ANY TIME NOW.
If they hit a homerun, the fear goes away.
OH MY GOD YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!
Are they trying to lose????
YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME
FUCK FUCK FUCK FCUK
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS GOING ON?
This loss is going to be something else.
JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST
WHAT THE FUCKIDNFIO NDFOIENFIODHJFJDOFJEOIJFOIENF
What the fuck is happening?!?!?!

THAT WAS A FUCKING TAILOR MADE DOUBLE PLAY HOLY SHIT

OH MY FUCKING GOD
That was much worse than Woodward's gaff
Are you shitting me?!?!
FUCKING KEYSTONE COPS
This is unreal
Haven't seen that in a while.
This is really happening. Hm.
BELTRE FOR EVERY FUCKING INFIELD POSITION.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Season over
I AM BREAK BRAIN DID

TYPE POSSIBLE NO

DAMMIT

YOU DESERVE THOSE BOOS
Just leave him in
I can't fucking believe this

This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING
Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?
Un fucking believable
The Ms clearly want to lose
THIS IS THE WORST LOSS EVER
I don't suppose anyone is warming up?
Betancourt would have...wait. No he wouldn't have.
I can't believe we just lost.

Season over.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha fuck you Lopez fuck you Woodward fuck you Aardsma
FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT I HATE YOU
bout effing time
This is almost comical
See?

Someone agrees with me.

HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
THIS IS WHAT YOU GET MOTHERFUCKERS
YOU BELIEVE EVEN FOR AN INSTANT
IT ISN'T FAIR
You're talking to yourself.
YES A NEW BASEBALL THAT"S WHAT THE FUCK YOU NEED YOU ARSE
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK
Hahahahaha Sean White guys!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP OR WE'RE BANISHING YOU
Last I check you weren't a mod so phhhbt!
Me fail english? That's unpossible!
SIMPSONS REFERENCES WILL NOT SAVE YOU
WE WILL ALL VOTE YOU OUT
Everybody loves me for being the rascal that I am.
Also, it's been established that LL is not a democracy.
IM KIND OF INSANE RIGHT NOW

IM SURE YOURE A GREAT GUY/GIRL BUT THIS IS ANARCHY

Everyone loves you in an off thread.

Not mocking our pain

I do this to counteract the misconception that I'm a Mariners fan.
With all the homoerotic jokes on LL I was surprised it was you that jumped out of the closet

Different closet, but hey

Regression sucks ass
Oh, sure. Bring in Sean White NOW. Good. Thanks.
Deserved loss.
At least the bases aren't loaded anymore, right?
Glass half-full, eh?
Half full of fresh steaming manure
I just died, I'm dead
You seem to coping with it quite well
this team is not good at baseball.
They are good at certain parts of it
Statement loss!
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

THIS TEAM

SEAN WHITE? WHY NOT TRY RICK WHITE

WHY NOT WHATS THE WORST THING THAT COULD AAAHHHH

FUCK THE UNIVERSE

I blame Ichiro
I blame Rob Johnson
I blamd Torii Hunter
YES CLEARLY JOSE LOPEZ WOULD BE MUCH BETTER AT 3B
Aardsma's WPA: -.857
With a shit ton of help from Lopez.
Well, he was not helped by his defense.
He was still pretty shitty.
Lopez and Woodward's WPA : EAT A DICK
Fuck Wak.

How do you leave DA out there after 3 batters, let alone 6.

He's our best reliever.

And this is 99% the infield’s fault.

Ridiculous

Nobody in the pen was better. It’s not like Aarsdsma was giving up shots there. Chop hit by Jones, double-play ball botted, ground-ball single.

Aardsma coaxed two groundballs that Woodward couldn't pick up and Lopez shat on.
And the one that got through the middle wasn't hit hard
Oh right, that one.

I forgot about it because AAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHH

The Woodward ball was a hit. He wouldn't have got it. And even if Lopez gets a DP it's 2-3 runner on 3rd.

Some days guys just don’t have it. It was clear Aardsma didn’t have it 2 hitters in.

So it's Aardsma's fault that he made Adam Jones hit the ball so weakly that Woodward didn't have a chance?

Look, he obviously wasn’t great. But it’s overreacting to say our best reliever needs to be pulled after giving up a couple of hard-hit balls.

So Aardsma was having some command and control issues but they were not hitting him at all.
Apparently infield defense is important and not just outfield defense
Why didn't anyone tell me?!?!
You were in the bedroom with Gutz, we didn't want to bother you
Who would have thought
I cant wait until they have had the time to build a team with good infield defense as well.
We should replace everybody for pitchers with extreme flyball tendencies
YES
Hey! Then play the rest of our schedule in Safeco!
I've heard something about defense and championships

but I forget the relationship.

They did get a couple of line drives

But for the most part, yeah, that was just terrible luck

The Woodward play only Beltre and a couple other 3B can make that play.

The Lopez play was the one though. Aardsma was still pretty bad though.

"Can anybody here throw a strike" asks Dave
"Can anybody here throw a strike?"

That’s a damn good question, Dave.

Niehaus: "Can anybody here throw a strike"

I love him when he’s pissed.

Thanks goodness we got that insurance run.
What is it going to help?

Anybody believe we are going to hit Georges bendy things?

I was being sarcastic.
Wow, this is some textbook baseball right here.
Yeah know, I'm really not too upset by this inning.

Because really, we shouldn’t even of gotten to this point. It should be been about 3-8 heading into the 9th.

I'm still pretty motherfucking pissed off because it wasn't 8-3, it was 3-0
Who gives a shit?

We still went from winning to losing.

THIS IS THE MOST INSANE POST EVER POSTED
That's a yellow at least
Could you slide a little later next time, fatty?
Was there a reason you had to stop on the bag after stepping on it Loafie
GOOD THING WE GET TO FACE GEORGE SHERRILL

SO THE ERIK BEDARD TRADE CAN REPEATEDLY SHIT ON OUr FACE

Holy Fuck Balls!

My Intern comes in to ask stupid questions and this happens. She is fired.

Yeah, Way to go!
Or at least punish her.
Stupid interns always trying to learn how to do their future jobs
You're right. It's not her fault.
That was the perfect time to deal with a crappy diaper.
You and the M's both: handling crap.
Funny Wak was just thinking the same thing
Sean "59' 6"" White
WHO IS HURT????????????????????
No-one important

just Aubrey Huff

Huff sprained his 'stache
HAHAHAHA YOU DUMBFUCK.
Colorado Game!
We need an outfielder to break himself on a dive first.
How are there no errors in this inning?
Cant be true

Loafie made a big one

The Woodward play wouldn't have been an error, and you can't assume the double play.
Pretty sure you can assume one out, though, dude
Lopez got an error.
Ok, it wasn't in the boxscore
He just got another one!
Not sure how that one was his

Made a nice play, decent throw, and Branyan dropped it

It wasn't that nice of a throw, he short-hopped it
If the ball is short-hopped the thrower just about always gets the error.
STATEMENT LOSS ASHSFNS
We got a run off GS last night

So it should happen again, amirite?

Regression has feasted on all of our relievers this week.
Give us a fucking break blue we're being tortured
Shitty play does not seem like a reason for leinency in umpiring.
He obviously went around
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bring on the umpbots, please.
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED DID BRANYAN DROP THE BALL?
YES
WAIT NO HE DID NOT CATCH IT AT ALL
HE'S THE ONE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO ABLE TO FIELD
This is out of control.
There is no floor?
Ok, now it's hilarious.
That's two who agree with me.
NO IT'S NOT WE ARE IN FUCKING CONTENTION AND WE ARE GIVING A GAME AWAY TO THE FUCKING ORIOLES IT IS NOT FUNNY
HAHAHAHAHAHAH FUCKING SERIOUSLY? HAHAHAHAHAHA
WTF is wrong with our infield?
GAHHHHH EVEN BRANYAN GOT INFECTED WITH TEH SUCK
Everyone is off the team.
At least we get to see Griffey in the bottom of the ninth!
this is one of the most absurd innings i've ever had the unfortunate displeasure of watching
THIS INFIELD IS FUCKING HILARIOUS
Erik Bedard just strained his oblique
OH HELLO 1919 CHICAGO WHITE SOX I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE STILL ALIVE
Now it's Ronny's turn!
Ok now everyone is in the clown car.
Wait was it Lopez' fault or Branyan?
Dave says Lopez has the error
Lopez I think.
That's just a guess. I had my hands full of SHIT
I don't get this
Throwing errors are always charged to the thrower.
There is such thing as a dropped-catch error

It’s just not seen that often (enough)

Error given to Lopez.
Really shitty throw
OMG, how much money did they bribe our infield with!!
SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL
Once again the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio pays of for the hungry investor!
I AM GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF FUTURAMA AFTER THE GAME TO MAKE ME LESS ANGRY
Sports night.
I've never seen that show

and have easy access to Futurama

Sports night is sitting on my dvd player.
This is the team we are without good defense. Or just plain any defense.
Must be the road trip hangover.
Can't anybody play dis here game?
Let's clone Gutierrez and put him at every position except right field
4.5 games back guaranteed!
Scott is gonna be out for the season with a gun shot wound to the temple.
FUCK YOU M'S FUCK YOU
New game plan

MAKE THEM HIT IT IN THE AIR

Holy Lynyrd Skynyrd plane crash inning.
Now would as a good of time as ever to mention that I hate the sport of baseball.
I'll tell Felix you said that.
Sure sure, you said that about Football when the Steelers won too
SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL
I can't wait to see the chart on this one!
You don't have to!

It’s here!

Without Jeff's witty insight it's just not the same
Nothing's the same without Jeff... even the angst
You don't have to wait!

bam

Go be late in Halos Heaven... sheesh.
He's good people
That's a little harsh. Eyebrows doesn't belong at Halos Heaven.
It's true, it's true

He’s great people. I take it back. I’m so sorry. I just wanna be sad, and mad, and angry, and beer.

ME MARINERS FAN

ME ANGRY. ME DRINK BEER. DRINK DRINK DRINK.

See, I call you great people, and you do this.

Isn’t our infield abuse enough for me?

I was paraphrasing...Coach? Hell I don't remember.
I think it was Coach, yes.
I know you were

I’m onto you, Eyebrows. I know you’re an Ms fan. It’s ok. You’re good people.

He gave me Busey gremlins.

I can’t… he’s just…

He gave me Busey gremlins.

Goes deep, doesn't it.
Hell yeah I did.

Thank god for collapse.
It's even better when it slows down
It can't get better. It's perfect, and it comes in 'fast' and 'slower'.
This thread must be huge
AND YOU ALL DEFENDED HIM!!
There's treatment for that
THIS IS WHY MARINERS GAMES SHOULD NOT BE ON DURING THE WORK DAY
Nah, it's somehow better that I couldn't actually watch this crap.
Although I am finding it hard to leave for the bus.
I can hear it and Niehaus is in physical pain
See, I'm glad I don't have to deal with that.

Just reading that sentence makes me choke up a bit.

This team is going to kill that poor old man
And he was so happy just an inning ago.
Actually, he sounded confused.
Bottom of the 9th comeback?
What.

Just a second ago we were up 2-0. Alright, who was it.

Real team effort
Lopez mostly.
What's new.
He also was the offense tonight.
Er, this afternoon.
I am sick and tired of this bullpen. They've blown three games in four days.

Absolutely ridiculous.

The infield blew this game but yeah
I'm really glad I decided not to go to this game.
FREE JOSH MOTHERFUCKING FIELDS
So we can have more walks?

that would just be fucking wonderful, wouldn’t it

Because balls in play lead to so much better results....
This game sucks so bad I think I'll go to Arby's
This is just an overreaction.
We don't need to know these things.
More the infield than the pen
WLAD AND CEDENO!!

I’m sure they’ll get a rally started.

Bigger sigh.

THEY JUST SHOWED A LARRY THE CABLE GUY RALLY CLIP FUCK THIS TEAM IN ITS CHERRYRIFFIC PUSSY SO IT BLEEDS ALL OVER ITSELF
Right on!
And because of the IBB to Langerhans last inning,

Ichiro is up 3rd this inning

In Wlad we trust!
Well

Maybe you do

Wait I just got here WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?
Seattle Mariners baseball.

And a really piss poor top of the 9th.

LETTHEMDIELETTHEMDIELETTHEMDIELETTHEMDIELETTHEMDIELETTHEMDIELETTHEMDIELETTHEMDIELETTHEMDIELETTHEMDIE
Fucking assholes!

Lose to the fucking pissbox Orioles!

Losing to pissbox teams annoys me the most of all
WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO WITH ALL THIS ANGER?
Murder Jose Lopez?
Run around the block a few times?
You're right. Theres bound to be a kitten around somewhere.
Who is this Alex Cintron fella we signed to a minor-league deal?

And why is his OBP so ungodly low?

NICE JOB WLAD
This is why I can't believe in this team without a good infield. It has hurt the team the whole year.

Trade Washburn for a real SS PLEASE!

I know, mainstream is all "we can't trade wash" Well, that's why.
Exactly, Washburn + 2 overrated relieve pitchers (or whatever) for a real SS.
Ty Wigginton to Short? Hit it there!
It didn't work!
Vargas took all the luck when he left the game.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ichiro getting on base might give us a chance if Branyan was still batting in the 2 hole
CHRIS WOODWARD!
Ken Griffey!
THEY ARE PLAYING LINKIN PARK FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT
I simply cannot believe the top of the 9th actually happened.

Thank god I forgot there was even a game.

BURN THIS FUCKING TEAM DOWN
BURN THE TREE
This is the problem with having a three-man bench

Can’t pinch-hit for Ronny fucking :(edeno in the 9th inning of a two-run game

Too little too late.
Oh shit we're so going to win now

We’ve got this! Griffey will save us!

EVEN GRIFFEY CANNOT SAVE US FROM THE SHITSTORM OF TERRIBLENESS
And here comes Griffey to strike out.
What would this game be without false hope?
Either way, this will be fitting.
Well that was quick.
Come on come on come on
Ahahaha we suck
HAHAHAHA ANTI-CLIMACTIC
ThAT WASN'T PREDICTABLE AT ALL!
NICE YUNI IMPRESSION ASSHAT
Well, crap.

I’m off.

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
This is crushing.
DID WE LOSE??? GAMEDAY FROZE ON ME
Gameday died for everyone.
For our sins.
Eat this computer chip in memory of me.
Friends! Surely you would not eat without first saying robot grace!
I think it expected the game to be over.
The just showed chef Tom Douglas in the stands...I wouldn't recommend going to Dahlia Lounge tonight.
Yeah. He looked ... like a Busey troll.
I don't think they'd finished playing Griffey's music by the time he got out.
What the holy fucking hell you old piece of crap.
THIS TEAM BLOWS SELL SELL SELL
Griffey had a serious chance of doing some damage against that left-handed pitcher.
We really really need to play well against Texas

4 1/2 out now, not good

Figures. Fuck each and every one of them today.
good golly miss molly

that was some bad baseball…aardsma couldn’t find the strike zone…Mark Lowe is pitching really well right now…back 2 closer???

Are you being serious?
Absolutely not
This was Aardsma's first bad game in like a month and you want him replaced already?
Season over.

4.5 games back.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.
If we take three of four from Tejas, this will be forgotten

And tomorrow is Felix Day!

Thank you for being positive.
Let's pray Texas keeps on being Texas.
Griffey, you fat old broken down HOFer, retire and be a coach.
The only good thing about this is that I didn't have to stay up 'til 6am to see it happen
That was some clusterfuck in the ninth.

Brought to you by Ham Hands Inc.

What exactly is going on in this picture?
Russel Branyan is fisting a ham.

Kinky, but eventually it tastes good.

Branyan is taking Lopez up the ass and they both have ham hands?
So that's pretty close to bacon right? Hawt! And Yum!
Now you're just pouring bacon salt in the wound.
Baconsalt reference.

Where’s Fin when you need him!

Yeah, I don't see any problelm with it whatsoever.
Never thought about bacon for after
I assume we lost?
Oh good. It's over now.
Washburn pitched a heck of a game.
Fuck you MLB

If you’re going to black shit out, you better fucking well make sure Gameday doesn’t shit the bed in the 9th inning. Fuckers.

Wait is it over?
It's never over.
But yes, it is.
Gameday fired back up! Ichiro just singled! We're on bitches
Oh my god, GRIFFEY!!!
He's batting right handed!
AND SHIT HE FUCKED UP
NUH UH. REALLY?
Griffey has a chance to be a hero!
I think the massive replacements and loss of the DH for Baltimore

Caused gameday to have an overload.

Gamecast is down too.
I have a sneaking suspicion that all the other live sites just mimic Gameday

They’re always a second behind and seem to crash whenever Gameday does.

I would've preferred Olson blowing it in the 7th to this
Griffey is officially:

Useless

He has a use!

Designated Tickler.

You might be LL's designated tickler.
Well I'm glad I sat this one out.

Yikes.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?????
Meltdown.

My soul is tatters.

I'm watching this shit in the 9th.

I have to know how this came to an end.

THROW A DAMN STRIKE, AARDVARK
Un-fucking-believable.

That was like watching Morrow the first week of the season. This bullpen regression has come hard and fast.

I became an hero.
Go back to 4chan.

Also, shouldn’t you be dead then?

For all intents and purposes.
Glad we lost this game.

I’d rather not welcome Texas in with false confidence.

Sigh.

Good to know when all is said and done that we’re still the Mariners.

Um

Sweep Tejas!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I think Loafie tanked
I ALWAYS HATED THAT FUCKER
SEEING THE SCORE CHANGE FROM 2-0 TO 5-3 CAUSED ME TO ANGERLY BLURT OUT WHAT THE FUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF MY WORKSPACE

You must Login with your SB Nation account and be a member of Lookout Landing to post a comment.